Metronome — Roleplayer Guild

Silas and Ka'van's Super Sappy Feelings Jam 2k18

Ka'van awoke with a jolt. As he bolted upright, a lamp tumbled off of his side table from the leftover force of his powers. His red eyes darted to the door where the pounding that had woken him up was coming from. Alien was so shaken from the dream that he took a moment to get on his feet. Ka'van silently crept towards the door, terrified of what would be on the other side. What if it was the Dawn from his nightmare?

He reached out and grabbed the doorknob, slowly turning it. Ka'van just about jumped out of his skin when he opened the door and was face to face with Silas. He looked like shit: hair a mess, grey skin flushed, eyes wild. His heart was just about beating out of his chest. He knew he needed to calm down, but he just couldn't. 

"S-Silas," He spoke softly, clearly shaken. "What're you doing here?"

"Ka'van, I-"

He wasn't usually embarassed of dream scoping but then again, he didn't usually confront the person after he'd scoped their dreams. This was completely new territory for him, it was like eavesdropping on a private conversation and then confronting the talker afterwards. Dream scoping was inherent of him though, he couldn't really help it at times. His brain was constantly shooting up warning signs that people were dreaming in the area. It was only natural that he'd look into some every so often. 

He couldn't help but worrying for his teammate. Ka'van was a friend, he was someone that Silas looked up to in a way. He was someone that he respected. He knew that the alien wasn't the picture of happiness and sunshine but he really wanted to help him get through this at least. "Can we talk? I know that's... different but I have my reasons."

Ka'van's mouth hung open a bit. He looked slightly dumbstruck that anyone would come to his room for the specific purpose of talking to him. It had happened approximately zero times in the three years that he'd been at the Tower. In fact, he could probably count on one hand the amount of times his teammates had ever even been inside his apartment.

Ka'van looked behind him, as if he were afraid that the room would be in shambles, giving away his frayed state. But the only thing even slightly out of place was the lamp on the floor and the rumpled bed sheets. Everything else was practically immaculate. 

"I...uh, yeah." He stepped aside to let Silas in. Ka'va closed the door behind him and awkwardly followed the man into his own apartment. He clearly wasn't used to company.  

Silas stepped past Ka'van, taking in the sight of the room around him. He had never really visited this room, but to be fair, Ka'van had never really visited his room either. They weren't best friends or anything, but they were close enough that Silas wasn't uncomfortable here. He could see the lamp on the floor and the skewed bed sheets. He took a seat at the foot of Ka'van's bed and drew in a deep breath to settle his frayed nerves.

"Ka'van, I. . . This is going to sound cheesy but I worry about you a lot." said the boy, idly toying with the hem of his shirt. "I try not to change your dreams when I'm in them, but-"

A pair of earnest brown eyes and a very concerned expression, the boy looked like he wanted to do nothing more than to save Ka'van from something and maybe that something was himself. "You had a dream just now, one that worried me so much that I had to void it. It's part of why you woke up so suddenly. Ka'van, did something happen with Ricardo? Maybe something you're afraid to talk about?"

Ka'van shuffled behind Silas and slowly sat down on the bed as well. It was a bit odd to have someone over, and even more odd to be this vulnerable in front of his friend. Ka'van wasn't really the type to open himself up to others. Silas asked him about the dream he'd just had, and the alien felt ashamed. Oh...he'd seen that? 

"No," He spoke just as softly as before, but was a little less shaky. Ka'van was coming down off of the fear from the dream, and was now sliding into the shame of being confronted about it. "It's nothing like that. I just..." He paused, not sure how to put it. "I don't know. It's fine. You don't have to worry about it."

Withdrawing was his best defense. Ka'van didn't know how to explain how he actually felt without somewhat offending Silas as well. He didn't know how to say that his life on Earth was miserable. How being at this place made it worse. How he harbored lingering fears of his human cohorts, especially those that were famously loyal to Horizon. 

"Ka'van, I. . . I understand nightmares better than anyone, you know? Nobody really knows much about my past because it's boring to talk about but I had severe nightmares as a kid. I couldn't even control them then, it was just an endless cycle of bad dreams." his mouth quirked up into a hesitant smile, "Experiencing that and developing my power, I've kind of learned that dreams are rarely just surface level."

He knew that Ka'van was drawing into himself, content with not opening up. Maybe he genuinely felt safer that way, maybe talking to someone was such unfamiliar ground that he didn't know what to do. Silas wasn't someone who considered himself hard to talk to though and he wasn't going to let Ka'van pull away that easily. He was going to press as best as he could. "This is unbiased territory here, Ka'van. Anything that you have on your mind, I want to hear about it. Maybe I can help you work it out, I'd really like to try."

He was silent for a while. Ka'van stared at his hand, picking at his nails. This side of the alien was rarely seen. Typically, he was cool, calm, and unreadable. But now he was nervous and vulnerable. He almost seemed more human this way. 

"It's not that I'm not grateful for everything Horizon has given me," He started, "It's just...I never chose to be here. I came to this planet because I had no other choice. I'm at this organization because, again, I don't have any other choice. And a lot of time I feel like I'm not...like I'm not heard. I'm not the picture of bright, colorful, human justice that Horizon wants their image to be, so I'm just put in the left over bin. It's nothing against you personally, but when I came here and learned about all the wars your planet has seen, I was shocked when I found out that it was always other humans starting them. It seems like whenever we go out and save the day, it's always from other humans. If your kind does such terrible and heartless things to each other, what would they do to someone like me?"

Ka'van lifted his eyes up to glance at the man beside him. He knew Silas wasn't like Dawn. He wasn't loud or violent, and he wouldn't rat Ka'van out for saying how he felt. He'd kept these thoughts to himself for so long that they sounded strange leaving his mouth. "I guess I'm just afraid of what they could do to me. And this thing inside of me knows that, and it's using it against me." 

"Humans are fickle creatures, Ka'van. I can't remember the source but I believe there's a quote somewhere that says "humans are flawed but in that flaw is their beauty" or something of that nature. We're not perfect, we start wars, we drive other species to extinction, we destroy beautiful things. Humans are messy and stupid but they're not all evil." he said, tilting his head slightly, thoughtfully. "Valora is one of my favorite examples of the good in humanity, she's been through so much and yet, she's still trying to do good things. She's still fighting with us. I think that's amazing and there's thousands of other humans that are constantly doing great things because they refuse to fall into the flaw that, I guess, mankind kind of is. We're one big flaw. Perhaps it's important to remember that one rotten egg might not be the bunch."

The boy did smile then, a smile that made his cheek dimple and amusement glittering in his eyes. "Given what we see every day, maybe I should edit that quote. Five eggs out of twelve ain't bad."

He sobered quickly though, "I noticed that," he said quietly, "Ka'van, this entity is manipulating your dreams in a way that's very similar to my own power. I can combat it because I think it's under wraps when you're in control but dreams have a kind of profound effect over people sometimes. If this continues, I don't think it'll be a venture to say that you'll be feeling very unsafe with your own teammate. Is it targeting Ricardo because he's New Horizons golden boy?"

Ka'van shrugged. "I don't know why it singled him out. I guess out of all of our teammates, he's the most...intimidating." Ka'van looked back down at his hands, ringing them. There was always so much going on inside of him that he never shared with his team. He always felt like, if they knew the nature of his powers, he would be shunned. He drew his powers from the demon bonded to him, but in turn, it also drew power from him. If he let it get the upper hand, as it had slowly been doing, he wouldn't be able to stop it's rampage. He'd tried telling his doctor about it, like there was anything the man could do, but he got the feeling that Horizon didn't believe the demon existed at all. They thought he was making it up so as to not have to wear dampeners. He only wished that were true. 

The grey alien sat silently for a bit, trying to reel his emotional torment back in. He could feel tears pickling in his eyes; he hadn't cried in so long. 

"I've been losing more control over my emotions lately," He admitted, "And so the demon has gotten stronger, and I can't do anything to stop it. More often I think it might be easier if I...if I died, it would die too, and then everyone would be safer." 

Silas listened as Ka'van talked about the entity that plagued him and he could hear his voice starting to crack. It wasn't normal to hear his stoic teammate start to break like this and it was kind of heart breaking. He could feel every instinct driving him to wrap his arms around him. He hugged him tightly, practically tucking the alien against his chest as if he could protect him from his most internal, intimate foe by holding him close enough.

He did believe in Ka'van's demon, even if the rest of New Horizons had their speculations. He had seen it after all. "Don't say things like that," he said seriously, pulling back to look the alien in the eye. "I know you're not happy here, but Ka'van, you're an extremely important part of this team. When I first joined this team, I was looking for guidance because I was angry and confused but you were this. . . This standing pillar of strength, you were unflinching. I've always wanted to be more like you."

He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully then, his brows furrowing. "Your demon, there's got to be some way to challenge it, right? Some way to show it that you're in charge?" 

When Silas wrapped him up in a hug, Ka'van couldn't hold back anymore. He sniffled quietly, tears streaming down his face. It had been three long years since the last time he'd been able to open up about anything even remotely personal. He leaned into Silas, letting the humans hold him tightly. Although he was wary of them as a species, human did have one thing going for them: their warmth. Ka'van's own, cool skin was drawn into it. 

It had never occurred to him that his teammates may actually look up to him. He'd always just assumed he was in the background, lurking like the demon in his dream. 

"I don't know," He said softly. "I just wish I could contact my people, for some sort of guidance. It's not like they gave me a manual for this."

Ka'van was surprisingly cold in contact with him but that was fine, he could keep him warm for now. He could feel that familiar aching in his chest at the sound of his friend crying, it almost made him want to cry with him. He had always been hyper sensitive to the emotions of people around him and seeing Ka'van in pain was enough to make him wish that he could draw that pain into himself. 

He nodded understandingly, "Maybe. . . Maybe, I'm only going to say maybe, but maybe there's something I can do to help."

He had an idea, another very reckless idea. "I don't know the full range of my abilities but. . . I might be able to try to contact one of your kind. I might be able to help sort or project them into your dreams. It would probably be a brief meeting but you could ask them questions."

Ka'van sat up to look at him. "I don't know if that's a good idea. You'll hurt yourself. Not only that, but if the demon catches you in my dreams, it may hurt you too. Maybe even kill you if it gets the chance." Ka'van's expression turned to worry. His friend was willing to risk himself for him, and Ka'van wasn't comfortable with that. 

"Ka'van, I'll be fine, he assured him, he offered him a smile that he hoped was assuring. "People barely notice me in dreams, sometimes it's like I'm not even there. If your demon sees me and I get into it with him, I'll be able to handle myself. Dreams are probably the only place where I can make that assurance."

He let his smile brighten a bit, "Plus, I love a good challenge. It'll help me figure out just what I'm capable of. Most importantly though," he leaned back, unraveling his arms from his alien friend. "I'll be helping you. That's what matters to me most."

"You're a very good friend, Silas."  Ka'van sniffed and wiped his eyes on his arm. "Thank you for this. I should...probably let you get back to what you were doing." He looked a bit sheepish.

"Tomorrow night, Ka'van." he promised him, smiling. "Tomorrow night. I've got to go check on Valora but... if you ever need to talk again, come see me. I'm always free."

The boy stood and gave the alien a wave before, exiting his room.

Ka'van arrived at the park silently. He didn't have it to himself anymore, but he didn't particularly mind. The alien found a nice, quiet spot to sit and took up his meditation pose. It help, for a while, to just tune everything out and re-focus himself. He had been meditating more frequently now, struggling to keep himself in check. It seem that, with each passing day he lost a little bit more of the battle to keep the wretched demon bonded to him down. 

A little while passed, and Ka'van could feel himself getting tired. After the trials of the day, he needed a nap. The alien stood and headed back down the stairs. His apartment was several floors down, but he could always use the exorcise. It took a while for him to arrive at his door, as he wasn't in any particular hurry. He began his usual pre-sleep routine: turn on the heat blanket, turn off the lights, close the curtains, and turn on his soothing white noise machine. He liked the ocean sounds the best. 

Ka'van changed out of his jumpsuit into a pair of flannel pants he'd been given as a Christmas gift from one of his teammates. They had little purple devil emojis on them; very fitting. He crawled into his nest of blankets and pillows, and dozed off fairly quickly. 

It didn't take him long to start dreaming, as it rarely did. This one started off fairly normal...

He was in the tower, on his way to Ricardo's room to pick up some sort of new team gear. Why? He wasn't sure. It seemed kind of out of place for their team leader to be giving out gear. Usually Horizon gave it to them personally. He took a deep breath before he knocked on the man's door. He really didn't want to be here; Ka'van didn't like being alone with their leader. He didn't like being at the center of the man's attention. One could say he was...intimidated by the man's loudness and aggression, even if it was unintentional. 

Ricardo swung the door open and greeted Ka'van with a typically loud and brash voice, making the alien internally cringe.

"I'm just here to pick up the new equipment," Ka'van said, his own voice almost immediately drowned out by the other man. Typical; he rarely got a word in edgewise. At some point, he'd just stopped responding to him. 

Ricardo beckoned him over to his kitchen table to give him whatever this new equipment was. Ka'van tried to look around his massive form to see it, but was unsuccessful. It seemed to him like Dawn was intentionally trying to block his view. Then, the team lead spun and attempted to grab Ka'van. The alien flitted away just barely, phasing defensively to avoid his touch. Ricardo held two power dampening bracelets, which he was attempted to slap onto Ka'van's wrists. 

"I can't wear those, you know that." Ka'van could feel a bit of panic welling up. He tried to phase through the wall, but couldn't. New technology to keep him from escaping? He wasn't sure. The look on Ricardo's face was becoming ever more twisted and demonic. He was spouting nonsense about how Ka'van must yield to JUSTICE and therefore must be controlled. 

As a last resort, the alien began grabbing whatever items in the room he could find with his telekinetic powers, throwing them wildly at the man. The room was quickly trashed, comics and booze splayed out everywhere in broken disarray. During the whole frenzy, a dark shape lurked in the far background. It was pitch black, two red dots representing beady eyes. The thing was, however, very blurry. As if it was out of focus or something. Neither hero seemed to even notice that it was there. It watched the scene silently, seeming very satisfied by the general chaos. 

In his bed, Ka'van was twitching and developing a cold sweat. Little to his knowledge, his powers were reaching out and actively reenacting his actions in his dream. Down the hall, Ricardo's room was actually getting trashed.

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