I knew I recognized that smug from somewhere! It would be nice to (ostensibly) be on the same side this time.
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Always have been, always will be. But sometimes I'm other things, too!
I may or may not have accidentally left this page up when I went to sleep last night. Anyways, I do like me some delinquent antics, so perhaps I'll come in a little later.
I, uh, like your Kaiji. Good show. Never ended up continuing onto the manga, though.
I, uh, like your Kaiji. Good show. Never ended up continuing onto the manga, though.
Hanako pouted a little. She had thought that her pop culture-laden speech would be super convincing, but Limen still wanted to work with... those two?
Hanako watched the fight for a moment, noting that the Humans were doing better than she had imagined they would be. The demons, being demons, were making speeches at them. Hanako remembered when she used to enjoy making a good bad guy speech, but watching other demons do it just made her think about how silly she had probably sounded.
Then again, Hanako had been through a goth phase just as recently as the '90s, so it wasn't like she was done making unfortunate decisions. No one could be allowed to find her dark poetry about how much she hated her dead dad. No one. She still hated her dead dad, though. That guy sucked.
"Yeah, OK, well I'll catch you up on however much pop culture you think you missed later. Because, like, I think if you got more of the references you'd totally be on my side," Hanako told Limen as she watched a countless series of feathers dart through the air, seeking out antagonistic devils to exorcise as the big guy leapt around crushing things. The demon bartender appeared to be opening, like, portals or something, and the girl (one she hadn't met) was mostly throwing knives.
"Ooh, very nice," she complimented the hunters in her best attempt at English which, while quite understandable, was very obviously not her first language, "very good, Humans! You can do it!"
She turned to Limen and shrugged.
"Fighting started to get boring a while ago," she said as she surreptitiously pulled the rocks that she could see into the ground, hoping to save a few like a squirrel for later as the demons got distracted by the fight, "I'm mostly here as support, not that it would be easy to get in the midst of that if I tried. Look at that mess! I'd probably get exorcised pretty quickly, and that's annoying. If only I had brought a good weapon, I might be able to help more... well, c'est la vie. Or, uh, mort."
Hanako watched the fight for a moment, noting that the Humans were doing better than she had imagined they would be. The demons, being demons, were making speeches at them. Hanako remembered when she used to enjoy making a good bad guy speech, but watching other demons do it just made her think about how silly she had probably sounded.
Then again, Hanako had been through a goth phase just as recently as the '90s, so it wasn't like she was done making unfortunate decisions. No one could be allowed to find her dark poetry about how much she hated her dead dad. No one. She still hated her dead dad, though. That guy sucked.
"Yeah, OK, well I'll catch you up on however much pop culture you think you missed later. Because, like, I think if you got more of the references you'd totally be on my side," Hanako told Limen as she watched a countless series of feathers dart through the air, seeking out antagonistic devils to exorcise as the big guy leapt around crushing things. The demon bartender appeared to be opening, like, portals or something, and the girl (one she hadn't met) was mostly throwing knives.
"Ooh, very nice," she complimented the hunters in her best attempt at English which, while quite understandable, was very obviously not her first language, "very good, Humans! You can do it!"
She turned to Limen and shrugged.
"Fighting started to get boring a while ago," she said as she surreptitiously pulled the rocks that she could see into the ground, hoping to save a few like a squirrel for later as the demons got distracted by the fight, "I'm mostly here as support, not that it would be easy to get in the midst of that if I tried. Look at that mess! I'd probably get exorcised pretty quickly, and that's annoying. If only I had brought a good weapon, I might be able to help more... well, c'est la vie. Or, uh, mort."
Hanako watched Limen spontaneously assemble something like a gurney as he spoke. Whatever his ability was, it was definitely one of those weird crazy ones. A lot of demons favored weird, crazy powers over the more straightforward ones she often saw from DHA agents. Then again, Hanako's selling point was toilet-based teleportation so it wasn't like she could judge anything.
"Eh? Hey, Limmy-Limmy-Bo-Bimmy-Banana-Fanna-Fo-Fimmy-Fee-Fi-Fo-Fimmy-Limmy! Be careful with that one, I'm still playing with her," Hanako complained as Limen unceremoniously threw Da-Xia onto the cart. Whatever that contraption was, she couldn't sever any part of it with her telekinesis. She puffed out her cheeks as she floated alongside Limen towards the action.
"I've thought about joining the dark side, but I'm way too OP to be evil, Limewire. Like in those Isekai shows where the protagonist has what seems like a crappy power but they stretch the meaning until it's crazy dumb strong. I used to be a Human, so I want them to have a fighting chance. Besides..."
Hanako floated closer to Limen and threw in an over-indulgent conspiratorial glance left and right.
"A demon should know better than to trust a demon, and this Envoy lady stinks of 'things I'm not telling you'. How many demons do you think get an Envoy? What does that even mean anyways? My guess is, uh, you know Antediluvian vampires? From, like, VtM? I went through a goth thing. Anyways, once they wake up, they're gonna eat all the other vampires and absorb all their power. Something like that. My evidence for this assertion? None at all. And yet it's still equally as substantial as everything else we know about this whole thing. That said, Leapin' Limen, it's no fun if one side just curbstomps the other so I'm gonna try and prolong this thing until I can learn more."
She threw in at least twelve knowing winks to get her point across, and a set of finger guns.
"Eh? Hey, Limmy-Limmy-Bo-Bimmy-Banana-Fanna-Fo-Fimmy-Fee-Fi-Fo-Fimmy-Limmy! Be careful with that one, I'm still playing with her," Hanako complained as Limen unceremoniously threw Da-Xia onto the cart. Whatever that contraption was, she couldn't sever any part of it with her telekinesis. She puffed out her cheeks as she floated alongside Limen towards the action.
"I've thought about joining the dark side, but I'm way too OP to be evil, Limewire. Like in those Isekai shows where the protagonist has what seems like a crappy power but they stretch the meaning until it's crazy dumb strong. I used to be a Human, so I want them to have a fighting chance. Besides..."
Hanako floated closer to Limen and threw in an over-indulgent conspiratorial glance left and right.
"A demon should know better than to trust a demon, and this Envoy lady stinks of 'things I'm not telling you'. How many demons do you think get an Envoy? What does that even mean anyways? My guess is, uh, you know Antediluvian vampires? From, like, VtM? I went through a goth thing. Anyways, once they wake up, they're gonna eat all the other vampires and absorb all their power. Something like that. My evidence for this assertion? None at all. And yet it's still equally as substantial as everything else we know about this whole thing. That said, Leapin' Limen, it's no fun if one side just curbstomps the other so I'm gonna try and prolong this thing until I can learn more."
She threw in at least twelve knowing winks to get her point across, and a set of finger guns.
"Ooohhh, that's disappointing," Hanako thought, flinching, as Da-Xia crashed into a tree which then proceeded to topple on top of her. The other DHA members, however, seemed unperturbed as they sallied forth. She supposed that they knew best, though she found it a little funny how much their companion's predicament didn't concern them in the slightest.
To be fair, however, the bugs had mostly left the area and gone to gather those rocks so the woman would probably be safe under the tree. Probably. Hanako pouted a little as Beniha called out, and stomped her little feet in midair, frustrated.
"I told you the dumb rocks called out to demons and even pointed you in the right direction! If you'd just followed m- you have a demon radar and you're not even lis- it's like you don't even trust me!" Hanako nagged as she floated along with the Hunters. It was getting continually darker, which she supposed was some demon with darkness powers or something, but it didn't particularly bother her. Nor did the barrier that Limen constructed, because she was 100% a spiritual being. In fact, she had no actual idea what was happening. All she knew was that it was dark one second, bright the next, and for some reason her smartphone couldn't go with her.
After a few moments of internal debate, she decided to go on ahead without her device. The sacrifices she made for the Human race. She force-bubbled her phone inside the barrier and floated outside of it. Hanako started into the trees where, to her surprise, she managed to spot Limen hiding or something. She gave him a friendly wave.
"Hey, Lemmy. That's your new nickname I just decided, but we'll workshop it if you'd like. What are you doing here? Petrology Enthusiasm Day? It's really kicking into full gear."
As much as she wanted to be useful to the DHA, and she totally did, she felt that the actual Devil Hunters were probably better equipped to fight the higher-level Devils that were doubtless collecting rocks as they spoke. But maybe they'd have an easier time if she distracted Limen, which was about as much as she could probably do. Well, that and stay behind to make sure Da-Xia didn't get eaten.
To be fair, however, the bugs had mostly left the area and gone to gather those rocks so the woman would probably be safe under the tree. Probably. Hanako pouted a little as Beniha called out, and stomped her little feet in midair, frustrated.
"I told you the dumb rocks called out to demons and even pointed you in the right direction! If you'd just followed m- you have a demon radar and you're not even lis- it's like you don't even trust me!" Hanako nagged as she floated along with the Hunters. It was getting continually darker, which she supposed was some demon with darkness powers or something, but it didn't particularly bother her. Nor did the barrier that Limen constructed, because she was 100% a spiritual being. In fact, she had no actual idea what was happening. All she knew was that it was dark one second, bright the next, and for some reason her smartphone couldn't go with her.
After a few moments of internal debate, she decided to go on ahead without her device. The sacrifices she made for the Human race. She force-bubbled her phone inside the barrier and floated outside of it. Hanako started into the trees where, to her surprise, she managed to spot Limen hiding or something. She gave him a friendly wave.
"Hey, Lemmy. That's your new nickname I just decided, but we'll workshop it if you'd like. What are you doing here? Petrology Enthusiasm Day? It's really kicking into full gear."
As much as she wanted to be useful to the DHA, and she totally did, she felt that the actual Devil Hunters were probably better equipped to fight the higher-level Devils that were doubtless collecting rocks as they spoke. But maybe they'd have an easier time if she distracted Limen, which was about as much as she could probably do. Well, that and stay behind to make sure Da-Xia didn't get eaten.
"Ah... what a positive reception," Hanako thought as she was summarily either ignored or glared at, "well, at least they didn't try exorcising me on sight. All-in-all a net positive. I was hoping at least one of them would pick up the Automata reference and run with it, but..."
An army of bug demons seemed to appear from the woods, and were on them in only a few moments of time. Not Hanako, though. She was certain they didn't find ghosts tasty or at all threatening, which was just fine with her because she preferred playing support anyways.
"Yaaay~ you slap those bugs, you big punchy guy, you," Hanako cheered as she erected small walls of kinetic force around the creatures' legs, tripping them up and making them more vulnerable and easy to hit. She flitted further towards the woods, and pointed towards an area deeper in.
"Hey, hey, I'm glad I could be on the receiving end of Mommy Beniha's famed glare of disgust, but the stones are over this way," she said, winking at her fellow agents, "and that's a really good job you're doing, Da-Xia. As a ghost that likes to scare people, you are terrifying the pee out of those Humans!"
She erected a few more rings of force between the bugs' claws and the next joint so that, even with their strength, they simply wouldn't have the leverage to make a strike without immense difficulty getting out of their binds. Dispatching their kind would be much faster with the ghost working interference. Whether or not she was even capable of doing anything on her own was up in the air, though if she was, she certainly didn't show it. She was playing with the DHA for now, but Hanako tended to keep a card or two up her sleeve. Better under-estimated than over.
"You can trust me for now, I promise! I wanna play demon hunter too!"
An army of bug demons seemed to appear from the woods, and were on them in only a few moments of time. Not Hanako, though. She was certain they didn't find ghosts tasty or at all threatening, which was just fine with her because she preferred playing support anyways.
"Yaaay~ you slap those bugs, you big punchy guy, you," Hanako cheered as she erected small walls of kinetic force around the creatures' legs, tripping them up and making them more vulnerable and easy to hit. She flitted further towards the woods, and pointed towards an area deeper in.
"Hey, hey, I'm glad I could be on the receiving end of Mommy Beniha's famed glare of disgust, but the stones are over this way," she said, winking at her fellow agents, "and that's a really good job you're doing, Da-Xia. As a ghost that likes to scare people, you are terrifying the pee out of those Humans!"
She erected a few more rings of force between the bugs' claws and the next joint so that, even with their strength, they simply wouldn't have the leverage to make a strike without immense difficulty getting out of their binds. Dispatching their kind would be much faster with the ghost working interference. Whether or not she was even capable of doing anything on her own was up in the air, though if she was, she certainly didn't show it. She was playing with the DHA for now, but Hanako tended to keep a card or two up her sleeve. Better under-estimated than over.
"You can trust me for now, I promise! I wanna play demon hunter too!"
Hanako awoke to another unfamiliar room, another unfamiliar bed, and another unfamiliar woman. Such was the life of hardboiled detective Yamamoto. Except she wasn't a detective, nothing had happened, she didn't sleep, and she knew Da-Xia at least a little bit.
The reality, of course, was that it had been late, and Da-Xia had taken her to a hotel for reasons known only to the eccentric motorcyclist. For Hanako's part, she ordered a bunch of paid per view pro wrestling on her partner's tab and then played video games quietly in the corner of the room while the woman slept.
Da-Xia's attitude was somewhat worrisome to Hanako. Even a low-level ghost like her could probably kill a DHA agent if she was sleeping defenselessly. Maybe the woman had some contingencies that Hanako didn't know about. Maybe Da-Xia trusted her more than she let on. Maybe she was only pretending to sleep to gauge trustworthiness. Was that just a little insane? Yes. Was it something Hanako thought a DHA agent might do? Also yes.
Regardless, the motorcyclist rode off to her next mission in the morning and Hanako tagged along, deciding to play with the DHA for now. It seemed like it might be fun, and hey, free paid per view. Hanako peeked over Da-Xia's shoulder when they arrived, and the woman related all the information they had gathered.
"Glory to mankind," Hanako piped up, saluting as Da-Xia raised her lance in a heroic fashion.
"Ah... I'm just here for fun, by the way. But I could be useful as a sort of demon radar or something. Demons can hear the stones, if there are any nearby."
The reality, of course, was that it had been late, and Da-Xia had taken her to a hotel for reasons known only to the eccentric motorcyclist. For Hanako's part, she ordered a bunch of paid per view pro wrestling on her partner's tab and then played video games quietly in the corner of the room while the woman slept.
Da-Xia's attitude was somewhat worrisome to Hanako. Even a low-level ghost like her could probably kill a DHA agent if she was sleeping defenselessly. Maybe the woman had some contingencies that Hanako didn't know about. Maybe Da-Xia trusted her more than she let on. Maybe she was only pretending to sleep to gauge trustworthiness. Was that just a little insane? Yes. Was it something Hanako thought a DHA agent might do? Also yes.
Regardless, the motorcyclist rode off to her next mission in the morning and Hanako tagged along, deciding to play with the DHA for now. It seemed like it might be fun, and hey, free paid per view. Hanako peeked over Da-Xia's shoulder when they arrived, and the woman related all the information they had gathered.
"Glory to mankind," Hanako piped up, saluting as Da-Xia raised her lance in a heroic fashion.
"Ah... I'm just here for fun, by the way. But I could be useful as a sort of demon radar or something. Demons can hear the stones, if there are any nearby."
"...Manos? Either that's Spanish or a reference to a terrible old movie that was produced by a fertilizer salesman in Texas. I wonder if it's actually a club for demonic movie buffs? W-would they wanna watch MST3K with me?" Hanako wondered before joining in with Limen and Curls when they started banging on the table.
"We accept her, we accept her! One of us, one of us!"
She giggled. It was nice to be able to make friends with people who enjoyed the same stuff. She turned to Da-Xia and smiled.
"It's a good one, but I suggest reading the manga first. You get a better sense of Kenshiro's kindness and chivalry. He's not just a stoic badass, he's a gentle stoic badass. That's what transforms him from an action hero archetype into a person," Hanako said, nodding at her own words of wisdom, "I have the tankobons if you find yourself interested."
Anyways, the Envoy was certainly saying something important. Hanako reigned in her desire to talk about anime and movies for a moment to listen to her. She nodded, although still a bit confused.
"I should have been born a sentient mineral. When I got attacked by strangers I had nothing to do with, I mostly just died. They get to explode and have an envoy and everything. Not that I'm competing for the most tragic backstory, although I would totally win. Anyways, since you seem to know so much, mind telling me what they are exactly and why they're here? If they're gonna call out to me, I should at least get to know that much."
That said, Hanako waved down the bartender.
"Hey, can I get a Piano Woman over here? I have a feeling this is gonna be a night."
"We accept her, we accept her! One of us, one of us!"
She giggled. It was nice to be able to make friends with people who enjoyed the same stuff. She turned to Da-Xia and smiled.
"It's a good one, but I suggest reading the manga first. You get a better sense of Kenshiro's kindness and chivalry. He's not just a stoic badass, he's a gentle stoic badass. That's what transforms him from an action hero archetype into a person," Hanako said, nodding at her own words of wisdom, "I have the tankobons if you find yourself interested."
Anyways, the Envoy was certainly saying something important. Hanako reigned in her desire to talk about anime and movies for a moment to listen to her. She nodded, although still a bit confused.
"I should have been born a sentient mineral. When I got attacked by strangers I had nothing to do with, I mostly just died. They get to explode and have an envoy and everything. Not that I'm competing for the most tragic backstory, although I would totally win. Anyways, since you seem to know so much, mind telling me what they are exactly and why they're here? If they're gonna call out to me, I should at least get to know that much."
That said, Hanako waved down the bartender.
"Hey, can I get a Piano Woman over here? I have a feeling this is gonna be a night."
It was a good sign that Da-Xia had no problem with Hanako taking a little blood, especially that which the knight had already spilled, but Hanako assumed that the method by which the blood was to be obtained wouldn't be so easily allowed. Being wholly intangible, her only real method to steal delicious vitae was a direct possession. She would wait until Da-Xia trusted her more to admit that much. For now, however, it was time to go on an adventure!
But first the gas station. As Da-Xia filled up, Hanako danced around and sang "Gas Gas Gas" by Manuel. Hanako had the need for speed, and doubtless Da-Xia would not disappoint in that regard. As they sped off into the night, the ghost wished that she could once more feel the wind in her hair.
When they arrived, however, it did indeed turn out to be a bar. Da-Xia's guess was weirdly spot-on. They were fed some weird line about a "Humaneaters Anonymous," which Hanako was almost certain she would have heard of, but it's not like she had any evidence to the contrary. In fact, it would probably be safest for her new Hunter friend if they played along regardless, so Hanako floated over and slapped the hand.
"Atatatatata~" she sang, hitting the hand with a series of mighty slaps before turning around and catching what she assumed was an alcoholic beverage with her telekinetic grip. She raised the glass up, and downed the drink in one before slamming the glass on the table. Surely the other demons would be intimidated by her display of bravado, despite the fact that she couldn't even drink the beverage and instead held the liquid up inside her opaque form with what amounted to a small telekinetic bowl.
Being a ghost as long as she had brought with it a few perks, such as a practiced telekinetic precision that was great for party tricks like looking as if she drank a whole lot really quickly. This was her true power.
"Whoo! I'm up for Uno," she slurred like a party girl, taking a seat, "snake girl? Beniha's sister? Bartender? Curls? Or are we starting the meeting right away?"
But first the gas station. As Da-Xia filled up, Hanako danced around and sang "Gas Gas Gas" by Manuel. Hanako had the need for speed, and doubtless Da-Xia would not disappoint in that regard. As they sped off into the night, the ghost wished that she could once more feel the wind in her hair.
When they arrived, however, it did indeed turn out to be a bar. Da-Xia's guess was weirdly spot-on. They were fed some weird line about a "Humaneaters Anonymous," which Hanako was almost certain she would have heard of, but it's not like she had any evidence to the contrary. In fact, it would probably be safest for her new Hunter friend if they played along regardless, so Hanako floated over and slapped the hand.
"Atatatatata~" she sang, hitting the hand with a series of mighty slaps before turning around and catching what she assumed was an alcoholic beverage with her telekinetic grip. She raised the glass up, and downed the drink in one before slamming the glass on the table. Surely the other demons would be intimidated by her display of bravado, despite the fact that she couldn't even drink the beverage and instead held the liquid up inside her opaque form with what amounted to a small telekinetic bowl.
Being a ghost as long as she had brought with it a few perks, such as a practiced telekinetic precision that was great for party tricks like looking as if she drank a whole lot really quickly. This was her true power.
"Whoo! I'm up for Uno," she slurred like a party girl, taking a seat, "snake girl? Beniha's sister? Bartender? Curls? Or are we starting the meeting right away?"
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