"I like sleeping because it's like being dead. Without the commitment."Abbie Ollah McGumffery and Ab to close friends or whoever just feels too lazy to say Abbie
|| GENDER ||"My chest is made of 100% boob material."
|| AGE ||15
|| GRADE ||Ninth
|| SEXUALITY ||"I like both dicks and tits." Honestly, she's pan but she likes saying dicks and tits more
|| RELATIONSHIP STATUS ||Single and has always been
|| MORE IN-DEPTH APPEARANCE ||Abbie's never been one to stand out too much with her appearance. But that isn't to say she's not pretty. Her appearance seems pretty sweet, with the dimples and long eyelashes. She has a natural beauty thing to her and that's about it. With her large chocolate brown eyes and her brown hair that poofs up and cannot stand humidity. She's pretty proud of her body, though. Especially her larger than average (especially for her age) tits. Her stomach isn't too thin but she'll still wear a bikini because she knows her boobs makes up for it. Standing at around 5'6", Abbie's height is pretty average not that she cares. Her build isn't like a stick but she doesn't look too muscular. She does work out, though, going to the gym occasionally.
Her clothes are whatever she feels like wearing on that day. However, she's more about comfort rather than looks because first off, cute clothes are expensive and secondly, she's broke. Which means her clothes are just from goodwill and you won't see her wearing anything that looks like a model would wear. Any makeup she wears would be barely visible on her way too pale skin. If you look close enough, you'll notice that she has tattoos on her side because she loves the stars and because she felt like it. 
☕ No fucks given ☕ Straightforward ☕ Insensitive at times ☕ No judging ☕
|| PERSONALITY ||Abbie is great at first impressions on parents. That is when she gives a fuck. A lot of times she doesn't but sometimes she'll feel like batting her eyes and putting on a sweet smile. Abbie is that girl that you, upon first glance expect to be someone quiet and reserved. Drawing in her medium sized notebook silently. But evaluating her true personality is like peering over her shoulder to get a look at what she's drawing and realizing that she's just doodling a picture of a dick.
For as long as she could remember, she has had a nonexistent filter. If Abbie feels like saying something, she'll say it. If you're pissing her off, she'll walk away abruptly or just tell you to fuck off. A mouth like a sailor when she wants and a gutter mind. Did you know that 65% of people find something dirty in every sentence? She's part of that group of perverts. And she says "God I love you" way too much as well as being affectionate to close friends. Of course, even if she's like that Abbie is also the first one to turn as red as a tomato when someone shows romantic feelings towards her. Well, if it's unexpected. A lot of the times she'll laugh it off and think of it as a joke. And anyways, she's more of a cupid because matchmaking can be pretty fun and there's a sweet person in her that likes to watch people do that whole love thing.
Abbie would be the first one to try a cigarette. However, she might not try drugs. Depends on who's asking but she really does not want to become an addict. She has a good sense of what's right and what's wrong though she usually does what she wants rather than what she thinks is a good thing to do. That said, she's not a bad girl. If someone needs help, she'll help them and put a smile on her face but just don't expect her to be sweet 24/7. Abbie'll gladly stand up for someone getting bullied. Not because she's nice per se, but because it's fun to fight.
She isn't the most social person but she's not the least either. Striking up a conversation with a stranger is pretty easy but it's also fun to blend into the background and watch strangers be people. If you're new, she'll probably chat you up just because of curiosity. Or if she's just bored. Abbie's like a big sister type. A really bad big sister that you really shouldn't follow. She's used to being on her own so she doesn't really depend on others for shit.
If you hang around her enough, you'll realize something. She never, ever talks about herself. She's the person to disappear when she's feeling sad because being sad in front of people is just annoying. Abbie doesn't want pity. She has trust issues and issues in general that she's fine with pounding deep inside herself (haha this sounds so wrong) and making sure that no one sees it. That carefree attitude may be masking something darker but chances are, she won't tell you. If she's angry or frustrated, however, you'll know because that means that she's on the verge of screaming her head off and cursing at whoever or whatever is pissing her off.
Not that it matter to her, but there's this thing called going to school and learning that she does. Well, her grades don't exactly look great but she just says that "grades don't represent my kind of genius." Besides, Abbie wants to become an illustrator...or something. She just knows that she loves to draw and she's not bad at it. Her grades are usually one point or two above the failing grade but surprisingly enough she can do that math thing when it comes to bills because her parents aren't doing shit for that. However, when she wants something, she'll do her best to get it. She works as a waitress and she's a damn good one. Know why? She knows how to be fake and smile sweetly even when she wants to cut some of the customers. I mean really, STOP ASKING WHAT THE MEAL IS ABOUT AND READ THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION.
|| QUIRKS ||● Smelling her hair when she's daydreaming
● Drawing dicks in people's notebooks when they're not looking
● Carries a bat everywhere. When to school, discreetly obviously
● Carries a pocket knife because why not
● Occasionally brings porn mags to school if she feels like it because she feels like it
● Thinks about sex and money more than a 15-year-old should but not too much
● If a guy leaves his computer on in class and walks away, expect her to open porn. Then expect her to mind her own business and wait.
|| HOBBIES ||● Cursing. Is that a hobby?
● Cooking for herself because food is good
● Drinking (yes alcohol.)
● Fighting. It's fun. Especially when she has a weapon.
● Video games
● Taking her moms car and going for a drive
● Graffiti
● Netflix
● Drawing/doodling
● Kissing is fun but so is sex
|| LIKES & DISLIKES ||+ Having fun
+ Drawing
+ Rock, rap, and some pop music
+ Cursing
+ Expecting the unexpected
+ Stars
+ Funny people
+ Beautiful photos!!!
+ Stars///Sleeping outside and staring at them
+ Dirty jokes
+ Spicy food
+ Pranks
+ CAAAAAAAAAAAKE. And sweets in general.
+ Violin music
+ Comic books
+ Video games and she's fucking good at em
+ Fake bitches
- Books
- When people tell her that funner is not a word.
- Bullies. "My god shut the fuck up!"
- Pushovers
- Getting mad and she gets into fights pretty easily
- Homophobes. "Lol, my brother is so gay."
- Getting in trouble with the cops
- ODD NUMBERS
- Summer
- Gossip because it's boring
- Pity
- Expectations and no one having expectations for her
- Pressure
- Depressing emotions and tears in general
- Pizza
|| FAMILY MEMBERS ||Temmy McGumffery - "My favorite family member!!! I love Temmyyy!!!"
(Pet cat) [Relation - Loved]Averna McGumffery - "Uh...I dunno, she provides me with a house so I guess I love her and shit. I also love how she leaves the car keys laying around." (Mother) [Relation - They're mother and daughter. Her mother gives her a house and Abbie takes care of herself besides that. To put it simply, when she comes home, she doesn't expect a meal or a welcome back]Duncan McGumffery - "He's just a drunk that lives on our couch. Moving on." (Father)
[Relation - They don't really talk all that much...except for when he's drunk because he talks a lot when he's drunk and away. If you saw them out together, he'd be in front of her and it wouldn't seem like they knew each other]Borgon McGumffery - "My big bro that gets a lot of the dick. Can't wait till he moves out and I get his room but... he's still only 17. Fuck." (Big Brother) [Relation - He's the one that taught her how to fight and he's the one that gave her the first cigarette she ever had. He's actually a pretty good brother, though. His personality towards others suck but he's sweeter on his sister. Sort of]Merry McGumffery - "I...I really don't want her to grow up like me." (Little sister) [Relation - Abbie takes care of her little sister more than her own mother does. She's really just trying to shield her from the rest of the family and make sure that she turns out like none of them. She's the only bright light in this dark family full of failures]Louie Normv -"Ok he's not related to me but he's still sorta like my dad. Just...Ugh, I don't know how to describe it." (Like a father// Her mom's ex-boyfriend) [Relation - He's the guy that she goes to for advice on life but he's also the guy she goes to for a drink since he works at a bar. But he makes sure she doesn't drink too much. That said, Louie is a good guy but sadly, he's not there to make sure she stays out of trouble or doesn't do things she'll regret later 24/7] || HOUSE DESCRIPTION ||Abbie lives in a one story home that has 3 bedrooms and the rooms are small as fuck. A neighborhood that you're probably not visiting anytime soon. Abbie herself works at a family restaurant to make money for herself because she knows that her mom won't be buying her art supplies and whatever else she wants. Don't expect a clean household when you walk in. Instead, visualize a house that looks like a tornado went through it with chairs fallen over and letters laying around in various places. The tv does not work. See the huge crack in the screen? Yeah, that's because when Ab gets bored and she has had one too many bottles of beers, she grabs her bat and starts whacking the TV. That said, her room is the only neat room. Probably because she doesn't have enough personal items to actually make a mess in her room.
|| CAR DESCRIPTION ||"A car? Does it count if I occasionally borrow my mom's car (without asking) to go out? No? Oh, alright."1989 Ford Mustang GT || BIOGRAPHY ||✿ January 5, 2001 : The first look ✿
"Dear diary. Today I was born. Just a ⌬ little girl ⌬ in this fuckin huge world. I mean really, it's so big. Then again, I'm like what, 10 minutes old? I guess I don't know how insignificant I am in this world just yet. As I grow older, I suppose those around me will make me feel special by telling me how great of a kid I am and how I can be whatever I want in my life. Right? Oh, wait...nope. I was wrong. Scratch all of that because I rolled the dice and my outcome is different. I won't have people force their expectations on me because they won't expect anything out of a child that came from a woman that eloped at the age of 16 with a man 10 years older than her because it was "true love." Well, now she's working at a fast food restaurant and customer service and has more bottles of beer a week than she probably should. "Dad" left when I was born and apparently his first words to me when I was born was "Fuck...I don't have to take care of it, do I?". But mom's still trying her best to take care of me. And I'm pretty sure she loves me. I mean, parents have to love their parents no matter what, right?"
✿ August 18, 2012 : Fuck ✿
"Hey diary, it's me, Margeret. Is that how that goes? I don't really give a fuck. Anyways, now I'm like, old. At the age of 10, I met my first bully. I've met a lot but it got worse. They wouldn't leave me alone and they had the nerve to lock me in the fucking janitor's room!! That bitch. How'd she even get the keys? Probably fucked the janitor for it. Wait... she's 10 at that age but I'm pretty sure she's going to grow up a bitchy slut. Not that I'm one for slut shaming or anything but seriously, fuck her. Anyways. I know that every teacher says that you should report bullying but I don't think that works very well. They started calling me ugly. Isn't that a little...harsh? However, I found another way to fix the problem. The last time they started picking on me, I took out my secret weapon. ➵ A knife. ➵ Pretty sure I'm not allowed to bring them to schools but well, it worked. Now I'm known as the knife girl at school. Not that I'm not a fan of that nickname. Anywaaaays. About my home life! Dad came back when I turned 11 years old. It was weird as fuck. I mean, who just shows up like that and just starts living with us like that? Oh, and I saw my parents having sex. Yeah, that was probably not the best thing for an 11-year-old to see but whatever."
✿ November 3, 2016 : Whoa ✿
"Being a teenager's pretty rad. I mean, middle school is one thing. With the 13-year-olds that think they're practically adults and the boys that make waaaaaay too many dirty jokes. Who am I kidding, I make more than them. Someone asked me how I knew so many perverted things. It's because I've seen porn. A lot but it's not like I actively search for it all the time. It's just that there are a lot of pop-ups. Yeah, it's the internets fault. Isn't everything?
After the whole getting bullied thing, I started learning how to fight since my big bro started teaching me and he's a good teacher except for how he's way too violent. I've been learning how to street fight for about 4 years and I'm pretty confident that I can dropkick an asshole. OH YEAH!!! BIG NEWS!!! I HAD ❤ SEX! ❤ I did it with one of my mom's friends. Not really sure how old he is but I couldn't pass up the chance when he started coming onto me. After all, my tits are huge now. I got em when I turned 13. I'm pretty now, right? By the way, my mom won't stop having new boyfriends. I mean, can't the slut just stick with one guy? One of her boyfriends was actually a pretty good buy...Louie. I tried coming onto him but he just wouldn't fuck me. Nowadays he's like my dad and it's weird but it's pretty nice. Anyways. Now I'm going to fucking HIGH SCHOOLLLLL!!! I don't really expect much out of this shit, though. Either way, can't wait to get this over with."
|| THEME SONG ||Watsky - IDGAF"If life is a woman she's got some epic titties
and I wanna get up in it and live it and motorboatem
Cause I wanna see the cool and the classy
And I wanna see the cruel and the nasty
Cause if it's real shit
Lemme feel it
And if you can't deal
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
|| OTHER ||"I regret a lot of things. But i've learned that it's just too fucking bad."
Goes to therapy and takes pills for that thing called depression. And said pills work amazingly well.
Has never kissed but has fucked.
Member
Mae
