A filament of light caught fire, gleamed and exploded into a blazing corona inside her mind.
Since her days as a Padawan Catsai’s force talents had been well-trained but marginal in the Sense and Control schools. Instead her gifts lay in channeling the Living Force to Alter her surroundings, heal those in need or fade from living view. She was trained and accomplished in three lightsaber forms with a broad understanding of the others, but the more time she spent with Vera-Li the more she felt as though she was on the verge of a whole new level of understanding.
Like this. This… electric awareness of her Padawan, the russet-haired woman (more a girl surely) which had only grown over their years together.
Unlike some of the new ascetics of the order, neither Catsai nor her master had ever subscribed to the idea that a Jedi must forsake all emotional ties. It was rather that they must not let those ties rule
them, and the home he shared with his wife and their three budding Jedi children had always felt awash with serene calm every time she visited during her training. This was the proper way for a human Jedi to manage their emotions, not to pretend she was some kind of animate droid. In another place and time she might have spoken with the Jedi Vera-Li S’vrone, flirted with the lovely woman and, with her sweet accord and the grace of the Force, shared a passionate relationship with her that could easily bloom into a deep and abiding love.
The Skerrige Jedi Knight instinctively shied away from that line of thought, curling a finger around one of the beaded braids that framed her face and dropping her eyes to her hands as they cradled the cup of steaming freshly steeped tea before taking a sip.
No the difficulty was that the young Jedi was her sky-blessed storm-born Padawan
. By rights she should release her to another Jedi’s tutelage, one of the senior Masters in the High Council if they were so all-fired hot to keep her safe at home and far away from any potential for harm. But… But. Before the dark-eyed Jedi had admitted to herself just how strongly she felt their connection it had never seemed that important. She knew she would never do anything to endanger the girl’s wellbeing, so what harm if she watched over her from her mentor’s reserve? By the time she admitted she was in trouble, she was already lost and she simply could not give her up. Of course she would keep her unseemly feelings to herself; there must never be a pressure on her bright-eyed charge that could stunt the growth of her gift. Besides. Limited though her own skills were in Battle Meditation, they were among the greatest in the Order barring her student’s. If not her, then who? Someone who might care less, be less careful of her well-being? No. It had to be Catsai.
So; the sadness in Vera-Li’s voice brought her head up, but the hurricane of emotion staggered her enough that she could only listen as her student made her pledge of self-sacrifice.
If she knew it was what the girl truly wanted. If she thought this was something that she truly desired, to seek greater lessons from a more talented and less troubled teacher then.. Yes. Catsai would mourn silently, but she would not stand in her way. She would even help her to find a place where she would be happiest, before taking herself off to do what good she could. Instead she felt how hard it was for the lovely redhead to make this offer, and while her heart bled for her she also blessed the Force for this moment of transcendence.
“Fox-child, no,” she soothed, standing and putting a hand upon the other’s shoulder. “You don’t need to do that. I know you feel guilty that the High Council value you so highly… but they aren’t actually wrong in that.” She smiled infectiously, then sipped appreciatively from her tea. “You would be worth keeping safe even if you only had enough Force sensitivity to fill this teacup. As it is,” she made a gently deprecating gesture, “you are a major strategic resource. Their only mistake is that they see the power, not the person.” She squeezed her student’s- no, her friend’s shoulder, looking intently into her eyes as serenity calmed the storm in her chest.
“You are capable of so much more than they know. This is detrimental to your
growth in the force, not simply mine… but they are the High Council so we have to assume they know what they’re doing.” She paused, a wry cast to her lips as she listened to herself. “I suppose, there’s always the Mercy Corps…” She lifted one hand, palm faced upwards as she described the one avenue the Council was allowing the Jedi to help with the war effort. "Or we stay here, we focus on your training and we face the Trials in six to nine months." She turned up her other palm, offering the choice to her.
"I'm not going to leave you here, mo chara
. Either we stay or we go, together."