And just as his heart filled with rage, kneeling in the cold ground. A gentle hand reached into the fire and pulled him from it.
He felt two hands and he looked to one, Fergus. He said nothing. The man only giving the faintest barest act of true sympathies. It was enough to remind him that he wasn't alone. Remind him that his feeling an actions still had effect on people. It reminded him that he wasn't allowed to be angry. Or despair. He wasn't allowed to act like a human. Those creatures had attachments and emotions. He had to be a pillar of strength. His life wasn't his own. His thoughts, feelings, body, soul. You dont own
those things. You don't get
to feel. They belong to others. You serve them you selfish coward
. It hurt as much as it was right. His heart began to harden again.
Another hand then rested on his shoulder. Axley was looking down upon him. Her face soft, her eyes stern. Concern and drive there. She was stronger then he was. How pathetic. She spoke of him leading them into battle. His face tightened. No. Never. Not them. He should die. Not them. He would protect them. She then said it was what they wanted and this was enough to remind him what the voices had. To give everything. Live to give. She smiled at him, he looked away. He felt ashamed. A moment of weakness. You don't get
to feel. But he was. He felt sad, angry, and now grateful. He raised a sleeve and wiped his reddening eyes, looking slightly better then before.
He smiled back his little grin. "I'm sorry... I'm alright now."
He took a moment looking up into her face and then closed his eyes, took a deep breath before getting to his feet. "Thank you Axley. I was in a dark place for a second. Though I have to apologize again. I need to do something."
Before saying anything further. His arms went around her shoulders and his head ducked low to rest in her mane. It was a fast moment, merely a quick embrace, but for him, it meant the world. A moment of selfish comfort to hold something warm, feel safe if even for a few seconds. As quickly as it started, he released her and stepped back. He gave her a soft smile.
Thats when Fergus had his own little outburst. Throwing a temper tantrum and screaming profanities out to the world about how unfair it all was. There was no reason to laugh. No reason to smile and yet, Snow lunged on the opportunity. He sputtered a bit before covering his mouth, a soft chuckle on his lips. Cillia was already seeing to him. She proved stronger too. "What an awful example we're setting Master Fergus. Neither of us can keep a cool head and as typical it takes a woman take make everything right again. Honestly we are fortunate."
Snow now sat with them, his team of survivors. His friends. He apologized again for a momentary lapse in sanity before doing things like offering to play music or attempt to atleast improve the mood either in reminiscence or coordinating with the plan. A night to rest, and then a days walk. They'd need to sleep in shifts... who knows what monsters were marching now.