The Mad Hatter

When you're generally quiet on a website and then someone starts an internet debate about the pet ethics of keeping your favourite obscure animal

Random fact of the day.

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Where have you been all my life. I've been wanting an axolotl for two years.

@Joegreenbeen

Trolling people on Battlefield and changing diapers, mostly. And stuffing my face; I do that a lot.

I've got four different breeds of axolotls. Bow to me as the Axolotl Queen.

I would say I'd sell you one, but I doubt you live closely enough for that. Unless you're a Dane.

Random fact of the day.

An axolotl can live above water, despite the fact that they are usually kept in aquariums. If they travel beyond the surface, they will simply drop their gills and use their lungs instead. Once an axolotl has gone onshore, they start mutating and this mutation is completely random. They can never return to the water again, or they will drown.
After their mutation, a grounded axolotl's lifespan is shortened from 10-15 years (though the oldest ever axolotl was 25 and lived in Paris) to a maximum of 5 years and most commonly only a few months.

As a bonus info, I can inform yo that I breed axolotls.

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

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I feel like I need mothering alot, so I'm worried I am/will turn into one of those lazy arseholes. I'm alot more dependant on other people then I'd like, which I guess is why I'm taking this break-up so badly.

That sounds awful :/ I can't imagine what that'd be like o.O hopefully I find a meaningful relationship in the near-future, and not two years time. I do the joke thing alot too. I sort of use it as a cry for help, but I feel like people just tend to go 'haha funny joke' and assume that everything's okay, without thinking about the deeper implications, which I suppose is my fault for not outright admitting that I'm not okay.

Although when I do ask for help, it dosen't seem to work. I text my ex telling her that I might have broken my neck and her response was 'Good. Now you can't be with other girls', and its things like that which have made me abit paranoid and reluctant to ask for help.

I'm really sorry to hear that :( Hopefully one day enough will be enough, and you won't feel like you need to clean up after him anymore. Acknowledging the problem is the first step, and it seems like we're both able to do this. You've acknowledged that your daughter's father is a bad prescence in both of your lives, and I've ackonwledged that my ex is a bad prescence in my life. I guess we both need to figure out how to stick to our guns and try and cut them out. Anyone who treats you this badly, and dose things like steal your life savings, dosen't deserve to be allowed access to your daughter, and to potentialy have an influence on her.

I'm glad that your thoughts of self-harm have passed, that's a whole new can of worms which can really just make everything seem so much more awful. I get thoughts about hurting people close to me too sometimes (alot more than I'd like) but they're just thoughts at the end of the day, and no matter how much they make us hate ourselves I think everyone gets them.

You're not whining at all! saying that we can't be sad because other people have it worse is like saying we can't be happy because other people have it better. Everyone has their own struggles, and that dosen't make what we're going trough any less serious or important.

I'm not doing as well as I'd like, without being too melodramatic. I want to start a new page, and not just find someone else to love but also find ways to take care of myself, and become more self-sefficent. I'm still in Hospital right now, but I should be starting cognitive behavioural therapy soon, which I'm hoping will help.

How about you? Are you coping?

Oh, I'm 17, 18 in December. D'you mind if I ask how old you are?

@Kingfisher

You can be lazy without being an asshole, though. Some people just are. My new boyfriend is sort of lazy, too, but he does the things I ask him to do to help around the house without (much) complaint. I don't really mind doing most of the work, since I really am very mothering by nature and always have been. Whenever he wants to be nice and cook dinner, I just sort of swoop in a take over without really meaning to ("Let me do that for you, it's much faster if I do it" or "Here, I'll do that. I'm better at it and it really needs to be done right").

I feel like those two years by myself (and after a couple of months, my daughter) really did something for me in the terms of understanding my own needs and not being so dependent on others as I used to be. I've always been terrified of hurting others and put everyone else and their needs ahead of my own (part of being motherly, I guess). When I was just me, there was no one for me to mother, so I was a bit more about what I wanted to do. I think I really needed that.
Maybe you should just take some time to yourself, as well, and not worry so much about finding that next big love, but more on who you are. You're still young and have plenty of time to find that special someone and sure, you gotta pull the weeds to really see the flowers, but you need to know what you really want before you can find it.

I found that whenever I had I bad thought and felt like I wanted to hurt myself, I just thought of all the goods things I have in my life and sometimes it helped a bit. I thought about my family and how awesome they are and how much they'd miss me if I offed myself and all the things I'd miss out on in my future; such as finding that "true love", getting married, having (more) kids - 'cause I wanna have a billion of them - and living that whole happily ever after that my parents have finally reached after 30 years of uphill. I mean, if they can do it, so can I, right?
Maybe you can do something of the same? Just think of a future that isn't glum and filled with abandonment and betrayal?

I'm 23, so I'm still at that stage in my life where I'm transitioning from teenager to adulthood. It's the perfect time for drama and intrique

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

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Eh, some mothering would nice, I'm always up for mothering! :P

That sounds really awful, I'm so sorry you had to endure all of that :/ It sounds like you've been immensly strong to keep going. I can't begin to imagine how much suffering you've had to put up with, but as someone whose fallen victim to the two-faced nature of people and the sudden lack of sex (sex is awesome) my heart goes out to you.

I hope things are a little better now. Are you managing to cope okay? I hope your new boyfriend takes good care of you. Your parents sound like really lovely people, I'm so happy for them! :D

Thank you for sharing, it feels really nice to connect with someone.

@Kingfisher

I'm a mothering person by nature. I mother everyone. That's probably why I attract lazy assholes; 'cause they see someone who will take care of them or whatever. At least that's what my counselor (who is not a real shrink, but has been more helpful than the real one eve was) thinks.

The worst part was the lack of sex. I went almost two years without sex. It was awful.
I make jokes about terrible things to make them seem less serious and it's honestly a really bad habit that I use to try and hide the way I feel.

Things really aren't much better. I just... Every time he creates a mess for me, I just clean it right up without complaining. He knows that I'm on the brink of insanity here and he knows how hard it is for me to let him into my life again, and yet he keeps making more and more demands. Last time he was here to visit our daughter, he demanded that he get her for Christmas and that if I refused, he'd sue me for full custody. He's never going to get full custody, but the threat is enough to really mess with me head. I'm not going to just deliver her over to a person she doesn't even trust, though, so I'll jut have to endure the courts and all that if he actually goes through with it.
But I guess I'm coping all right. I'm not crying as much as I used to and when I do, I'm not hiding away to do it. I don't feel like hurting myself in any way (or hurting my daughter, which was the case during my birthing depression; it was so awful to have thoughts like that). I'm more or less forcing myself to eating and sleeping right, even though I don't really feel like it.

I sort of feel like I'm whining, though, 'cause my situation really isn't all that bad as what some are going through...

How are you doing? Are you coping all right?
And if you don't mind me asking; How old are you?

Pet the thing to your left and report how it went.

Petted my daughter. She smiled at me, giggled and toddled away to play with her most noisy toy; not sure if it's "revenge" of coincidence.

So Like, Mythology.

@Aphrodite Awesome. I'd be far more comfortable with an Advanced setting than a Casual one.
Also, I wouldn't mind taking on the "challenge" of being a Co-GM (or Co-admin, whatever you wanna call it) and in regards of maintaining the roleplay, reviewing character sheets and such, I would probably have about an hour a day for such and then write my posts on weekends -because I am unable to write it in pieces; it needs to be done in one sitting.
I have GM'ed quite a bit in my 10+ years of roleplaying, so I know how :)

For fleshing out the whole deal... I'm not usually on at this time. It's actually nearly 4 AM here and I'm tired as sh*t. So I don't know how much dialogue will be possible and it might take a while for us to work everything out if we're in different time zones.

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

Oh, you poor thing. I feel like mothering you, but you probably wouldn't like that very much. I wish I could send you hugs through the internet.

I wish I could tell you that "true love does exists", because it really does, but for most people it just takes too long to find it, I guess. My parents are a brilliant example of the fact that it does. They met when they were sixteen, stated dating at seventeen and have now been together for thirty years, through three awful kids (me and my bros), sickness, false accusations of crimes and all sorts of going uphill. They chose to get married this spring and declare their love eternal for real. It was beautiful and it renewed my own diminishing faith in the whole concept of love.

I've been so far the drain that I attempted to commit suicide, myself, which only resulted in some minor brain damage and my liver and kidneys being, well, pretty roughed up. It didn't make me feel better at all, even after a long time and I was just sad that I wasn't dead. I wanted to try and do it again and I was sure that it'd really kill me this time, since I was already worn from the first time. Luckily, my mom found out what I was trying to do and I got the professional help that I needed. Not that it actually helped me any, but, yeah.

After my depression, when I was still trying really hard to fight it, I met a guy (yeah, yeah, that old story). I thought he was great and all that and we ended up dating. He was funny and kind and did all sorts of great things for me. After six months, we moved in together and he changed completely. He got lazy and stopped spending time with me, like for real. We didn't even really have sex anymore, which is very important to me because... well, sex is awesome. He also got aggressive. He yelled at me a lot and threw things when I raised my voice back and I was honestly a little scared. I wanted to break up with him, but it was just too messy and when I tried talking to him, saying that I was going to leave him if he didn't change, he would promise me the sky and then do the exact same things a week later. I was so sad all the time and I started skipping school and stopped eating and I knew I was depressed again, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. So I suffered in misery.
After about a year of living together, I suddenly started getting sick. Like, I'd throw up everything I tried eating, which was weird because I barely ate anything. I went to the doctor and they took some blood and I found out that I was pregnant. 3 months pregnant, even though I was on the pill. When I told my boyfriend, he seemed really happy. I told him that it meant that some changes really had to happen, because he didn't have a job or anything and he needed to start helping out around the house. He didn't do shit. I kept nagging at him, getting more and more depressed the entire time. Eventually, he decided that he didn't want to be a dad and left. He left me with the bills for our apartment and everything, but not without taking my entire savings with him.
So, I was pregnant, alone and living in an apartment that I had no possible way of paying for on my own. I gave up the apartment, moved back in with my parents and started scraping up whatever little amounts of money I could.
I eventually did give birth to a beautiful baby girl and for the week we were admitted to the hospital, I was happy as can be. When we got home, though, I was hit by a birthing depression and it was all just perfectly awful again.
I eventually got over that, too, when my baby was about six months old. I moved out of my parents' house, got my own place, met a new guy, started school again and really turned my life around. I was happy for a while.
Then, about a month before my daughter turned 1, her dad decided that he wanted to be part of her life. I let him, of course. I shouldn't have. He's giving me so much shit again and I can just feel the darkness descend on me again, but this time I have a wonderful daughter, an understanding and patient boyfriend and my whole family tree backing me up, so I think I'll eventually pull through.

Whew... That was some ramble. Sorry 'bout that. I guess I was up for venting, huh?

Random fact of the day.

Snakes have two penises.

So Like, Mythology.

Oh, how I would have loved to be part of something like this, but sadly, I don't have the time to post as often as a Casual roleplay tends to demand.

I'm a huge fan of mythology, though. Especially the Norse, being a Dane myself ;) My daughter is actually called Freja after the Norse Goddess of Love/Fertility/Beauty/and-so-on and plan on naming my future children after Norse Gods/Goddesses, also. I'm thinking Thor and/or Balder for a boy and Idun and/or Sif for a girl (though I wouldn't have a Thor and a Sif both, since they'd get teased 'bout being a couple). I plan on having four kids and if I have it my way (which I probably won't) it'll be two girls and two boys and in that case they will be called Freja, Thor, Idun and Balder :D But that's just me rambling.

If you can live with a post a week (two, if I'm "lucky"), I will try my best to be a part of this, though.
In that case, I'd probably play a lesser God/Goddess, like Nyx of the Greek Mythology, or some actually quite famous deity that just has a bit of a messy history like... Tyr of the Norse Mythology, perhaps.