Themerlinhawk

Essence of the World: The Mending

@Sathanas Rex We're just collecting up a new batch of people. I think Wind has to check Ryonara's Cs and then I think we are waiting on Grin and possibly one other person. Dont quote me on that one

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

Alat Sev

Name: Alat Sev
Species: Kel Dor
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Faction: Jedi Temple
Rank: Jedi Knight

Prisoner

Appearance

Alat is rather average for his race with a pale peach skin tone. Alat stands at about 1.7 meters tall with a wiry build.

Notable Characteristics of Species: Breath mask and goggles required to breath and see in a nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere. Vision is significantly enhanced due to the atmosphere. Heightened reflexes.

Flaws:
Zealous: Alat suffers from a slightly obsessive need to hunt sith. When he is not actively doing so he is doing his best to continue studying them and it can often lead him to miss out on much of the life going on around him.

Violent: Some people fight, Alat is truly brutal when it comes to using violence. Some would say he has adopted characteristics of the Sith he hunts.

Cold: Alat has a rather off putting nature when it comes to other people as he lacks many of the emotional responses a normal individual would have to traumatic experiences. This is compounded by his very morbid sense of humor that most consider distasteful.

Skills

Life long training: Alat has worked much of his life to overcome the Kel Dor’s weaker constitution and is in excellent physical condition for his race. While it is not on par with many of the more physical races, his fast reflexes and swift perception serve him well when he is engaged in saber combat.

Niman Form VI- Alat wields an unusual combination of Sabers. His prefered weapon is the dual bladed saber he constructed during his ascension to Knighthood. It features two yellow blades which clearly mark him as a Jedi Sentinel although he is well on his way to claiming the title Jedi Watchman.

Alat favors a variation on the Niman form, Alat carries a second single blade lightsaber.This in conjunction with his Trakata style results in a truly exotic form of lightsaber combat that involves Alat using only one side of his double blade at a time. This allows him to suddenly switch the grip on his right hand without actually switching the grip simply turning one side off and the other on.
Alat is a solid martial artist which he picked up in parallel with his training at the Jedi Academy.

Makashi Form II- Alat is an expert at form two using only one blade of his double saber for dueling. While compared to Alat’s Niman form, form two seems redundant however Alat learned the form to improve his dueling skills as many of his confrontations with the Sith devolved into saber on saber combat in which Makashi gives him a decided edge.

Trakata- Alat is well on his way to being a master of the Trakata style of fighting. Many chastise him for the deceptive nature of the lightsaber style but Alat has always been of the opinion that discarding a technique because of its appearance is foolish.

Pilot- Alat is a superb pilot with a variety of transport vessels from earlier in his traveling the galaxy with his master helping to keep the peace as well as the use of fighters for space combat. The second use of his piloting skill stemmed from being involved in much of the war.

Investigator- Alat has training in most inner and outer rim policing policies as well as some more obscure world including Maana’s judicial practices which allowed him to help local law enforcement with lesser problems during his training as a padawan prior to his involvement in the war with the Sith.

Force powers

Basic Force Abilities- Alat is proficient with most of the basic force powers due to his training as Jedi. Alat is nothing special with the majority of the basic force powers other than his Tutaminis which is above average.

-Alat is incapable of the normal force persuasion. However it is rumored that he experimented with using the force to dig through a prisoner's minds for information. The council expressly forbid him from ever attempting such a thing again (Drain Knowledge).

-Alat is proficient at neutralizing energy with the force allowing him to block a small number of blaster shots with the force. He has yet to test the ability when blocking a lightsaber strike although he is confident. Perhaps overly confident (Advanced. Tutaminis).

-Alat has an uncanny force sense, while his precognition is normal for a jedi he has an above average ability to tell where things are even when deprived of his vision (Forcesight).

-Inorder to counteract the dangers posed by losing his mask Alat took it upon himself to become proficient with internalizing his breathing allowing him to function for extended periods of time lacking his breath mask (Breath Control).

-There is a rumor that Alat has experimented with Sith lightning but he has never displayed any use of the power to anyones knowledge and the council claims that any rumors are unfounded. In reality the rumor stems from Alat using Tutaminis to absorb force lightning only to redirect it back upon the sith using it on him. (Force Redirect).

Biography

Alat was born on Kel Dor prior to the beginning of the Great Galactic. He was spotted by the Jedi early as a force sensitive individual and was taken for training at the Jedi temple on coruscant.

He was apprenticed to a Jedi Knight named Maut, a Gand Jedi Knight of little note who mentored Alat from Padawan to Jedi Knight. Much of Alat’s training with Maut was spent traveling the galaxy assisting law enforcement on the various worlds they visited. Maut passed away a year after Alat was raised to the rank of Knight. Maut was 73 at the time and Alat’s only true friend and ally within the Jedi Temple.

While Alat had certainly grown up with an trained with many of the padawans, knights and masters he took to few and even fewer took to him as a result when Maut passed Alat would spend much of his time keeping to himself.

By this time the War was past its midpoint and Alat had taken to his mission as a Sentinel. His first taste of true battle coming as a part of the attack made on Korriban which was actually a republic feint intended to cover their counter attack against Ziost. He was recalled under questionable circumstances.

Alat would re-enter the battle again as a defender of Serenno before being forced to flee and then again on Ord Radama where he earned a reputation as a ruthless hunter of the Sith. Just prior to Mekhis conquest of the planet Alat was recalled to Coruscant for reassignment as the council feared his crusade was drawing him too near the dark side as he hunted Sith on Ord Ramada.

Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately this meant that Alat was in the temple when Malgus Sith attacked.

Personality/Motivation

Most describe the Jedi Sev as being rather cold and callous for a Jedi but he also projects a chilling serenity that is almost never marred by even the most catastrophic events. Since choosing the path of the Sentinel Alat has become incredibly zealous about rooting out the Sith threat to the galaxy.

The Jedi council has deemed Alat a sort of black sheep and are often more than happy to send him on dangerous missions to counter the Sith threat to the galaxy due to his slightly obsessive crusade.

The few who have truly come to know Alat are often startled to find a truly observant and soft spoken teacher. While Alat has not taken a Padawan since the death of his first and only Padawan at the hands of the Sith he is a passionate and direct teacher who is happy to deliver a hard lesson in order to get his point across.

Alat’s crusade against the Sith is not the result of a vendetta or other wound he received at their hands. Instead it is driven by a morbid curiosity about the Sith. Alat has spent many years tracking, studying and killing sith as a means of learning more about them. Many consider this to be a dangerous practice however none can seem to find fault in his serene nature when it comes to dealing with them; much the way a master deals with an unruly pupil.

While Alat is considered to be very disciplined and controlled he has a violent streak that occasionally colors his aggressive lightsaber combat and no quarter style of fighting. Alat wastes no time and no thoughts in combat. Many of the members of the council are disturbed by his almost sociopathic demeanor in combat.

Many speculate that Alat has cultivated his reputation and demeanor as a means of cutting himself off from anything that the Sith could ever use against him and point to his lack of a Padawan as the ultimate evidence to this. While many certainly criticize the strange Sentinel none can fault him for failing to do exactly what is expected of him.

Player’s Long Term goals

Alat is designed to move along the knife edge between sith and jedi. Ideally he will flirt with both the light and the dark for the duration of his existence as a sort of mirror for both sides of the conflict to stare into and see how they are both sides of the same coin while Alat represents the edge of the coin.

Additionally it would be interesting to see Alat mentor and temper his captors (excluding Sith Lords who are so far along the path that they are too set in their ways or are beyond him in power) helping them to expand their own talents even at the cost of his own suffering.

I may additionally go so far as to consider converting him to a Sith as a means of exploring what it is to hunt Jedi as opposed to Sith, sort of the opposite side of the coin from the Jedi Sentinel

Relations

Alat has grown moderately friendly with the Jedi Xid who Alat enjoys a rather unusual relationship with due to his traditionally antisocial demeanor

Alat is very much a black sheep as he lacks a living master and a living Padawan

While he is an excellent instructor many fear the rumors about him and as a result Alat has spent much of his time at the Temple as a sort of unwanted mentor to those he comes upon and guides towards achieving their full potential before moving on.

Alat is one of the temples saber instructors when he is stationed there and provides instruction in the Niman form with Trakata variations. Alat also occasionally provides instruction in his variation of the Niman form when he is in a particularly good mood.

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

Should be ok now. Post it in a hider in the cs tab, would you? A bit of formatting on the section labels would not hurt too.

@Ellri

will do

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

Okay i think this is fully corrected. Ellri I think you're the only one who has to okay this.

Name: Alat Sev
Species: Kel Dor
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Faction: Jedi Temple
Rank: Jedi Knight

Prisoner

Appearance

Alat is rather average for his race with a pale peach skin tone. Alat stands at about 1.7 meters tall with a wiry build.

Notable Characteristics of Species: Breath mask and goggles required to breath and see in a nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere. Vision is significantly enhanced due to the atmosphere. Heightened reflexes.

Flaws:
Zealous: Alat suffers from a slightly obsessive need to hunt sith. When he is not actively doing so he is doing his best to continue studying them and it can often lead him to miss out on much of the life going on around him.

Violent: Some people fight, Alat is truly brutal when it comes to using violence. Some would say he has adopted characteristics of the Sith he hunts.

Cold: Alat has a rather off putting nature when it comes to other people as he lacks many of the emotional responses a normal individual would have to traumatic experiences. This is compounded by his very morbid sense of humor that most consider distasteful.

Skills:

Life long training: Alat has worked much of his life to overcome the Kel Dor’s weaker constitution and is in excellent physical condition for his race. While it is not on par with many of the more physical races, his fast reflexes and swift perception serve him well when he is engaged in saber combat.

Niman Form VI- Alat wields an unusual combination of Sabers. His prefered weapon is the dual bladed saber he constructed during his ascension to Knighthood. It features two yellow blades which clearly mark him as a Jedi Sentinel although he is well on his way to claiming the title Jedi Watchman.
Alat favors a variation on the Niman form, Alat carries a second single blade lightsaber.This in conjunction with his Trakata style results in a truly exotic form of lightsaber combat that involves Alat using only one side of his double blade at a time. This allows him to suddenly switch the grip on his right hand without actually switching the grip simply turning one side off and the other on.
Alat is a solid martial artist which he picked up in parallel with his training at the Jedi Academy.

Makashi Form II- Alat is an expert at form two using only one blade of his double saber for dueling. While compared to Alat’s Niman form, form two seems redundant however Alat learned the form to improve his dueling skills as many of his confrontations with the Sith devolved into saber on saber combat in which Makashi gives him a decided edge.

Trakata- Alat is well on his way to being a master of the Trakata style of fighting. Many chastise him for the deceptive nature of the lightsaber style but Alat has always been of the opinion that discarding a technique because of its appearance is foolish.

Pilot- Alat is a superb pilot with a variety of transport vessels from earlier in his traveling the galaxy with his master helping to keep the peace as well as the use of fighters for space combat. The second use of his piloting skill stemmed from being involved in much of the war.

Investigator- Alat has training in most inner and outer rim policing policies as well as some more obscure world including Maana’s judicial practices which allowed him to help local law enforcement with lesser problems during his training as a padawan prior to his involvement in the war with the Sith.

Force powers:

Basic Force Abilities- Alat is proficient with most of the basic force powers due to his training as Jedi. Alat is nothing special with the majority of the basic force powers other than his Tutaminis which is above average.

-Alat is incapable of the normal force persuasion. However it is rumored that he once experimented with using the force to dig through a prisoner's mind for information. The council expressly forbid him from ever attempting such a thing again (Drain Knowledge).

-Alat is proficient at neutralizing energy with the force allowing him to block a small number of blaster shots with the force. He has yet to test the ability when blocking a lightsaber strike although he is confident. Perhaps overly confident (Advanced. Tutaminis).

-Alat has an uncanny force sense, while his precognition is normal for a jedi he has an above average ability to tell where things are even when deprived of his vision (Forcesight).

-Inorder to counteract the dangers posed by losing his mask Alat took it upon himself to become proficient with internalizing his breathing allowing him to function for extended periods of time lacking his breath mask (Breath Control).

-There is a rumor that Alat has experimented with Sith lightning but he has never displayed any use of the power to anyones knowledge and the council claims that any rumors are unfounded. In reality the rumor stems from Alat using Tutaminis to absorb force lightning only to redirect it back upon the sith using it on him. (Force Redirect).

Biography:

Alat was born on Kel Dor prior to the beginning of the Great Galactic. He was spotted by the Jedi early as a force sensitive individual and was taken for training at the Jedi temple on coruscant.

He was apprenticed to a Jedi Knight named Maut, a Gand Jedi Knight of little note who mentored Alat from Padawan to Jedi Knight. Much of Alat’s training with Maut was spent traveling the galaxy assisting law enforcement on the various worlds they visited. Maut passed away a year after Alat was raised to the rank of Knight. Maut was 73 at the time and Alat’s only true friend and ally within the Jedi Temple.

While Alat had certainly grown up with an trained with many of the padawans, knights and masters he took to few and even fewer took to him as a result when Maut passed Alat would spend much of his time keeping to himself.

By this time the War was past its midpoint and Alat had taken to his mission as a Sentinel. His first taste of true battle coming as a part of the attack made on Korriban which was actually a republic feint intended to cover their counter attack against Ziost. He was recalled under questionable circumstances.

Alat would re-enter the battle again as a defender of Serenno before being forced to flee and then again on Ord Radama where he earned a reputation as a ruthless hunter of the Sith. Just prior to Mekhis conquest of the planet Alat was recalled to Coruscant for reassignment as the council feared his crusade was drawing him too near the dark side as he hunted Sith on Ord Ramada.

Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately this meant that Alat was in the temple when Malgus Sith attacked.

Personality/Motivation:

Most describe the Jedi Sev as being rather cold and callous for a Jedi but he also projects a chilling serenity that is almost never marred by even the most catastrophic events. Since choosing the path of the Sentinel Alat has become incredibly zealous about rooting out the Sith threat to the galaxy.

The Jedi council has deemed Alat a sort of black sheep and are often more than happy to send him on dangerous missions to counter the Sith threat to the galaxy due to his slightly obsessive crusade.

The few who have truly come to know Alat are often startled to find a truly observant and soft spoken teacher. While Alat has not taken a Padawan since the death of his first and only Padawan at the hands of the Sith he is a passionate and direct teacher who is happy to deliver a hard lesson in order to get his point across.

Alat’s crusade against the Sith is not the result of a vendetta or other wound he received at their hands. Instead it is driven by a morbid curiosity about the Sith. Alat has spent many years tracking, studying and killing sith as a means of learning more about them. Many consider this to be a dangerous practice however none can seem to find fault in his serene nature when it comes to dealing with them; much the way a master deals with an unruly pupil.

While Alat is considered to be very disciplined and controlled he has a violent streak that occasionally colors his aggressive lightsaber combat and no quarter style of fighting. Alat wastes no time and no thoughts in combat. Many of the members of the council are disturbed by his almost sociopathic demeanor in combat.

Many speculate that Alat has cultivated his reputation and demeanor as a means of cutting himself off from anything that the Sith could ever use against him and point to his lack of a Padawan as the ultimate evidence to this. While many certainly criticize the strange Sentinel none can fault him for failing to do exactly what is expected of him.

Player’s Long Term goals:
Alat is designed to move along the knife edge between sith and jedi. Ideally he will flirt with both the light and the dark for the duration of his existence as a sort of mirror for both sides of the conflict to stare into and see how they are both sides of the same coin while Alat represents the edge of the coin.

Additionally it would be interesting to see Alat mentor and temper his captors (excluding Sith Lords who are so far along the path that they are too set in their ways or are beyond him in power) helping them to expand their own talents even at the cost of his own suffering.

I may additionally go so far as to consider converting him to a Sith as a means of exploring what it is to hunt Jedi as opposed to Sith, sort of the opposite side of the coin from the Jedi Sentinel

Relations:

Alat has grown moderately friendly with the Jedi Xid who Alat enjoys a rather unusual relationship with due to his traditionally antisocial demeanor

Alat is very much a black sheep as he lacks a living master and a living Padawan

While he is an excellent instructor many fear the rumors about him and as a result Alat has spent much of his time at the Temple as a sort of unwanted mentor to those he comes upon and guides towards achieving their full potential before moving on.

Alat is one of the temples saber instructors when he is stationed there and provides instruction in the Niman form with Trakata variations. Alat also occasionally provides instruction in his variation of the Niman form when he is in a particularly good mood.

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

@Fallenreaper

All set, just need the okay from the other two

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

mkay Second Draft

Name: Alat Sev
Species: Kel Dor
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Faction: Jedi Temple
Rank: Jedi Knight

Prisoner

Appearance

Alat is rather average for his race with a pale peach skin tone. Alat stands at about 1.7 meters tall with a wiry build.

Notable Characteristics of Species: Breath mask and goggles required to breath and see in a nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere. Vision is significantly enhanced due to the atmosphere. Heightened reflexes.

Flaws:
Zealous: Alat suffers from a slightly obsessive need to hunt sith. When he is not actively doing so he is doing his best to continue studying them and it can often lead him to miss out on much of the life going on around him.

Violent: Some people fight, Alat is truly brutal when it comes to using violence. Some would say he has adopted characteristics of the Sith he hunts.

Cold: Alat has a rather off putting nature when it comes to other people as he lacks many of the emotional responses a normal individual would have to traumatic experiences. This is compounded by his very morbid sense of humor that most consider distasteful.

Skills:

Life long training: Alat has worked much of his life to overcome the Kel Dor’s weaker constitution and is in excellent physical condition for his race. While it is not on par with many of the more physical races, his fast reflexes and swift perception serve him well when he is engaged in saber combat.

Niman Form VI- Alat wields an unusual combination of Sabers. His prefered weapon is the dual bladed saber he constructed during his ascension to Knighthood. It features two yellow blades which clearly mark him as a Jedi Sentinel although he is well on his way to claiming the title Jedi Watchman.
Alat favors a variation on the Niman form, Alat carries a second single blade lightsaber.This in conjunction with his Trakata style results in a truly exotic form of lightsaber combat that involves Alat using only one side of his double blade at a time. This allows him to suddenly switch the grip on his right hand without actually switching the grip simply turning one side off and the other on.
Alat is a solid martial artist which he picked up in parallel with his training at the Jedi Academy.

Makashi Form II- Alat is an expert at form two using only one blade of his double saber for dueling. While compared to Alat’s Niman form, form two seems redundant however Alat learned the form to improve his dueling skills as many of his confrontations with the Sith devolved into saber on saber combat in which Makashi gives him a decided edge.

Trakata- Alat is well on his way to being a master of the Trakata style of fighting. Many chastise him for the deceptive nature of the lightsaber style but Alat has always been of the opinion that discarding a technique because of its appearance is foolish.

Pilot- Alat is a superb pilot with a variety of transport vessels from earlier in his traveling the galaxy with his master helping to keep the peace as well as the use of fighters for space combat. The second use of his piloting skill stemmed from being involved in much of the war.

Investigator- Alat has training in most inner and outer rim policing policies as well as some more obscure world including Maana’s judicial practices which allowed him to help local law enforcement with lesser problems during his training as a padawan prior to his involvement in the war with the Sith.

Force powers:

Basic Force Abilities- Alat is proficient with most of the basic force powers due to his training as Jedi. Alat is nothing special with the majority of the basic force powers other than Telekinesis and Force Sight which he excels with.

-Alat is incapable of the normal force persuasion. However it is rumored that he once experimented with using the force to dig through a prisoner's mind for information. The council expressly forbid him from ever attempting such a thing again (Drain Knowledge).

-Alat is excellent at using the force to move, throw, push and manipulate objects. While not a master by any stretch of the imagination he is highly gifted and continued to grow by leaps and bounds (Telekinesis).

-Alat is proficient at neutralizing energy with the force allowing him to block a small number of blaster shots with the force. He has yet to test the ability when blocking a lightsaber strike although he is confident (Advanced. Tutaminis).

-Alat has an uncanny force sense, while his precognition is normal for a jedi he has an above average ability to tell where things are even when deprived of his vision (Adv. Forcesight).

-Inorder to counteract the dangers posed by losing his mask Alat took it upon himself to become proficient with internalizing his breathing allowing him to function for extended periods of time lacking his breath mask (Breath Control).

-There is a rumor that Alat has experimented with Sith lightning but he has never displayed any use of the power to anyones knowledge and the council claims that any rumors are unfounded. Alat neither confirms nor denies the rumors (Lightning).

Biography:

Alat was born on Kel Dor prior to the beginning of the Great Galactic. He was spotted by the Jedi early as a force sensitive individual and was taken for training at the Jedi temple on coruscant.

He was apprenticed to a Jedi Knight named Maut, a Gand Jedi Knight of little note who mentored Alat from Padawan to Jedi Knight. Much of Alat’s training with Maut was spent traveling the galaxy assisting law enforcement on the various worlds they visited. Maut passed away a year after Alat was raised to the rank of Knight. Maut was 73 at the time and Alat’s only friend and ally within the Jedi Temple.

By this time the War was past its midpoint and Alat had taken to his mission as a Sentinel. His first taste of true battle coming as a part of the attack made on Korriban before he was recalled under questionable circumstances.

Alat would re-enter the battle again as a defender of Serenno before being forced to flee and then again on Ord Radama where he earned a reputation as a ruthless hunter of the Sith. Just prior to Mekhis conquest of the planet Alat was recalled to Coruscant for reassignment as the council feared his crusade was drawing him too near the dark side as he hunted Sith on Ord Ramada.

Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately this meant that Alat was in the temple when Malgus Sith attacked.

Personality/Motivation:

Most describe the Jedi Sev as being rather cold and callous for a Jedi but he also projects a chilling serenity that is almost never marred by even the most catastrophic events. Since choosing the path of the Sentinel Alat has become incredibly zealous about rooting out the Sith threat to the galaxy.

The Jedi council has deemed Alat a sort of black sheep and are often more than happy to send him on dangerous missions to counter the Sith threat to the galaxy due to his slightly obsessive crusade.

The few who have truly come to know Alat are often startled to find a truly observant and soft spoken teacher. While Alat has not taken a Padawan since the death of his first and only Padawan at the hands of the Sith he is a passionate and direct teacher who is happy to deliver a hard lesson in order to get his point across.

Alat’s crusade against the Sith is not the result of a vendetta or other wound he received at their hands. Instead it is driven by a morbid curiosity about the Sith. Alat has spent many years tracking, studying and killing sith as a means of learning more about them. Many consider this to be a dangerous practice however none can seem to find fault in his serene nature when it comes to dealing with them; much the way a master deals with an unruly pupil.

While Alat is considered to be very disciplined and controlled he has a violent streak that occasionally colors his aggressive lightsaber combat and no quarter style of fighting. Alat wastes no time and no thoughts in combat. Many of the members of the council are disturbed by his almost sociopathic demeanor in combat.

Many speculate that Alat has cultivated his reputation and demeanor as a means of cutting himself off from anything that the Sith could ever use against him and point to his lack of a Padawan as the ultimate evidence to this. While many certainly criticize the strange Sentinel none can fault him for failing to do exactly what is expected of him.

Player’s Long Term goals:
Alat is designed to move along the knife edge between sith and jedi. Ideally he will flirt with both the light and the dark for the duration of his existence as a sort of mirror for both sides of the conflict to stare into and see how they are both sides of the same coin while Alat represents the edge of the coin.

Additionally it would be interesting to see Alat mentor and temper his captors (excluding Sith Lords who are so far along the path that they are too set in their ways or are beyond him in power) helping them to expand their own talents even at the cost of his own suffering.

I may additionally go so far as to consider converting him to a Sith as a means of exploring what it is to hunt Jedi as opposed to Sith, sort of the opposite side of the coin from the Jedi Sentinel

Relations:

Alat has grown moderately friendly with the Jedi Xid who Alat enjoys a rather unusual relationship with due to his traditionally antisocial demeanor

Alat is very much a black sheep as he lacks a living master and a living Padawan

While he is an excellent instructor many fear the rumors about him and as a result Alat has spent much of his time at the Temple as a sort of unwanted mentor to those he comes upon and guides towards achieving their full potential before moving on.

Alat is one of the temples saber instructors when he is stationed there and provides instruction in Niman, Makashi and Trakata variations on the two forms.

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

!= is the boolean expression for "not equal".
"Jedi temple" isn't a faction. "Jedi Order" is.
Appearance is necessary to have.

Flaws could use a bit of expanding on how they affect him.

The "connections to Alat" bit is essentially a note that that bit in your bio has potential for being used for connections to other player characters.

@Ellri

Greatly appreciated. I'll get right on the tweaking. Let me know if there is anything else you'd like to see with the character.

As far as the Cortosis goes I can expand on it because it makes sense for the character in my mind so I'll add in the extra but if in the end you don't like it i can remove it. So long as the character concept is fine i can adjust details until Ragnarok. Let me know if you think of anything else. I clean up and repost it

Coruscant Sacked: Aftermath

No worries, @OSIEIPPO.

Here’s a preliminary review, @Themerlinhawk
@Sundered Echo and @Fallen may have additional commentary.

Name = good. Species = good. Age = good. Gender = Good.
Faction != Jedi Temple. Faction = Jedi Order.
Rank = Good.
Captivity status = Acceptable.

Appearance != Good. Appearance = Missing.

Race = subgroup of species. Traits described are unique to entire species. Notable Race Traits = Incorrect label.

Flaws = lacking in description and attribution to character. Otherwise within acceptable parameters.
Skills = solely related to combat. That = implausible. Jedi = trained in many skill areas.

Trakata = Minor specialization of lightsaber combat. Trakata = integrated into other lightsaber forms.
Trakata != a full lightsaber form.
Lightsaber combat form involving multiple blades = Niman. Jar’Kai = term for wielding two weapons.
Wielding cortosis baton != common. Wielding cortosis baton = needing justification in bio.
Many others = trained in Trakata. Connections to Alat = Present?
@Sundered Echo = Capable of expanding on this.

End of biography = compatible only with prisoner. Rest = compatible with Jedi Rescuer. Option = worth considering?

@Ellri

I'm sorry but a lot of that means nothing to me. I sort of need full sentences. Some of it i got but some of it is basically gibberish. No offense intended. If you have things you want me to fix you have to be more clear. Somethings i can fix from that but there are somethings in it that mean nothing to me like this: Connections to Alat = Present?, no clue what that is.

Essence of the World: The Mending

Okay, Im back mwahahahahah. enjoy the bad guy. And I swear if one of you points to Lazarus and asks if he's the bad guy imma shoot you somewhere painful. Love y'all enjoy the read XD

Essence of the World: The Mending

Nightfall

Loom and Moscow- Afternoon

Lazarus

The blade flashed, seemed to sprout from the chest of the first one. From the outside she looked like just a punk skinhead Neo Nazi. The man could see her for what she was though. A demon in a once human shell. The others looked at her as she gasped her last. Blood bubbled from her lips and spattered the ground as she looked up in confusion.

What..

The women's hands jerked feebly at the sword blade that protruded from her chest. Tugging feebly. It was ineffectual as she sunk to her knees her world going dark. The demon tried to wriggle free of the shell but it was pinned in place. By a mortal blade?

I found something

The others looked around fear in their eyes. Clutching automatic weapons they turned about adrenaline kicking in as the demons tried to hunt down the essence that was moving like a shadow through their midst.

Can’t this wait

Hands found the neck of one that had strayed too far from the group. There was a pop like the snapping of a piece of rotten wood as the neo nazi’s head was spun completely around. Incredible how this trash had survived even after Judas had risen and fallen. As his vision faded to black he stared into eyes like dead stars that moved through the shadow on the edge of the room like ink on darkness they slithered into the blackness. Swallowed up by shadows that shouldn’t be able to conceal their owner.

I wouldn’t be bothering you if it could

The others had grown even more nervous their eyes flicking back and forth. They began to manifest signs that they were demons. One grew scales like a snake and began to flick a second set of eyelids. Another produced avian features, sinister talons and slitted eyes as feathers sprouted along its arms. The last one did nothing other than become slightly translucent.

I don’t have time right now

The lights flickered for a second. The three remaining skinheads jumped whirling and spraying recklessly into the shadows of the warehouse. After they realized that none of their number were missing, ice began to crawl up their spine as they realized the other two bodies were gone, as well as the sword.

You swore you would help and I am holding you to that

The three of them moved closer together back to back. With only a small space between them. As they watched the shadows suddenly something moved detaching itself from the shadow to lurch towards them. The female lunged towards the group with empty eye sockets and a snapping jaw that dripped blood and saliva as she came at them. The reptile and the avian open fired on her as she came. They emptied every single round into the lurching corpse as it slavered and staggered towards them.

It collapsed to the floor and continued to crawl towards them, finally the serpent stepped forwards and with a heavy of its boot it smashed the corpses head in with three vicious stomps. Brain matter, bone and black blood spattered across the floor and more blood began to seep across the gray concrete floor in a slow pool like a disease invading a body. Slowly but steadily spreading out across the floor. It looked almost like a painting from above. As though an artist had used a brush and had not cleaned it. A single drop out of place as it spread out on the paper.

wait

The lights flickered again.

I’m painting something

The remaining three drew back into their triangle

You can’t stop

An inky figure drew up silently from the floor where it hand landed silently in their midst.

Not until the final strokes are finished

It drew a single blade, one edge was perfectly straight while the back edge had a nasty serration the whole length of the blade.

I understand

The Lizard and the Avian were felled with two swift strokes. The reptile's head was removed from its body in a single swing. Parting the head from the body right below the third vertebra. A perfect cut. The Second was split down the middle with a single swing that perfectly bisected the Avians body from its crown to its groin from behind.

The last one whirled only to be yanked from the ground by an invisible noose.

Almost finished, give me a minute to clean my brush and I’ll be with you

The possessed human kicked and squirmed hands clawing at the invisible noose around it’s neck.

The man pulled a mask made of pure midnight onyx from his face. The shadows that had clung to him fell away as he wiped the blade of his sword on a white handkerchief. he’d produced from the inside pocket of his grey two piece suit. A black duster hung to the floor as he wiped the blade, enjoying the gurgling of the strangling demon.

The man touched his earpiece as he finished cleaning the blade. “Alright Alzir what is it?” The mask of Onyx hung on a cord around his neck resting on his chest casually. Lazarus started with cold eyes at the demon as it continued to choke.

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Alzir sat calmly in a leather chair staring at the computer screen in front of him. “We have a bit of a problem.” The old man lifted a glass of vodka to his lips and took a long pull from it. “I found the person I was looking for.”

Lazarus voice came through clearly “Was this the Angel you were concerned about?”

Alzir nodded even though Lazarus couldn’t hear him “Yes, she is more dangerous than I feared.”

“How so?”

Alzir continued to scan the computer screen “Apparently she’s not just some terrorist, she’s a seraph.

There was a pause before Lazarus responded “That is concerning but not impossible to deal with, there is more to it isn’t there?”

Alzir smiled and tapped the scroll key on the keyboard “The russians have a full file on her, It looks like she’s been gathering followers. Claims she's a reincarnated member of the council. Say’s she can raise other Seraphims.”

“I don’t believe it..wait did you say Russian’s?”

Alzir ignored the question continuing to scroll “She’s not here anymore she’s moved on from Moscow to Loom, She’s our problem now.”

“Alzir….where the hell are you?”
“No where of consequence.”

Alzir stood up and looked out the window into the snow covered city scape that stretched out around the Kremlin.

“I should be home in a day or two. I trust you found what it was you were looking for?”

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A few hours later Lazarus finished zipping up his duffle bag. All the samples he needed had been stored for transport. Turning he started walking towards the door and with a splat the body that had been hanging in mid air fell to the ground. Looking up at the night sky Lazarus put his mask back on. A memory surfaced.

The dean of Trinity college looked up from his desk “yes Thomas?” Thomas stared back “I’m headed home, Sir.” The dean nodded “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Lazarus shook his head. It was always disconcerting to see his old friend with dead black eyes. At Least it knew better than to use Kathleen. He’d have smashed the mask to bits a long time ago had it done that.

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The Temptress

Loom- Afternoon

Many had come, it was certainly a start. The oppressed flocked to her arms. The downtrodden, the abused, those tired of serving the humans. Those who suffered from the council’s disease. She would heal them. Metatron stirred beside her. The hulking Seraphim had been at her side since she had freed him from a Russian gulag. Her beautiful voice had called him from the depths of his depravity and self pity to be something worth while. She had raised him from those depths and then raised him to his heights by helping him to reclaim his lost selves. Metatron had always been a fighter, a follower of those great few who had gained his respect and now he followed her.

Lashriel.

Finally she unfolded her arms and the crowd silenced itself. “Brothers and sisters. Thank you for joining me today.” Her voice was the definition of beauty as her English was curved around a tongue that had been raised speaking Russian. Even though she had reclaimed all her past lives and really did not have the accent if she did not wish it she kept it as a reminder of how she had gotten here.

“I know everyone of you came here today wondering if I am the genuine article. I would be skeptical myself in your place.” She smiled meeting their eyes like a loving mother to her children. “I know that all of you are in pain, and that it is not your doing. It those who you serve, who you bend to, who you are oppressed by.”

There were murmurs of agreement but they quieted down again soon enough. “I promised you that I would help and that is exactly what I will do for everyone of you. I shall help you.”

Many looked at each other skeptically.

“The council ruined life for all of us. Save the privileged few.” She gestured to all of them “The rest have been left to suffer.” She narrowed her eyes “As though it were not bad enough that Judas should enslave and conquer as he did we were left to fend for ourselves and help the pathetic humans. Separated forever from Heaven. And yet the humans have their home and the demons still frolic, feed and take their base pleasures in their Hell. What is left for us?!”

There was a grumble of assent at the validity of the words.

“It is time to take what is ours and I can give each of you the power to do that. I can cleanse the dark angels….and I can help you to reclaim your memories...Without the risk.”

The chorus of whispers rippled through the crowd. Was she serious?

“Not all of you will become Seraphims. But a few will. The rest of you will remember at the least five of your past lives, which will be much more than the rest of the traitor angels remember. It is time to take back what is ours!” She looked out at them with fire in her eyes
“Who’s with me?”

There was silence for a moment...

...Before the empty warehouse erupted in cheers

She smirked before whispering in Russian to Metatron

“Tell Raziel that we have begun, and then summon Purah back from Moscow. We will need her help.”