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Recent Statuses

2 yrs ago
Current Does this mean we can call you abmin now?
9 likes
2 yrs ago
300 word minimum is pretty standard for casual level and up in my experience
4 likes
2 yrs ago
Just discovered Dog TV. My pitbull and I have a new shared hobby.
6 likes
3 yrs ago
Barbenheimer 2023
6 likes
3 yrs ago
There's a panhandler who hangs out on the street corner by our dispensary every afternoon with a sign that just says "Green 4 Green?" and tbh, I respect my boy's confidence.
2 likes

Bio

Personal Profile

Name: Taylor
Pronouns: They/them
Age: Mid 20s
Relationship: Married (happily, I might add)
Time Zone: Arizona (we hate daylight savings, so it's MST year-round)
Writing History: I've been on a number of different roleplaying websites for over a decade and a half
Hobbies: Writing, fitness, driving/exploring, hiking, camping, traveling, tabletop games, anything NEW (I love trying things I've never done before)
Roleplayer Profile

Format: 1x1s only. Maybe I'll try a group RP again someday, but I've never had one last longer than a few months
Posting Speed: Depending on my schedule, I can usually post at least once per week
Favorite Genres: Modern, Historical, Romance, Action/Adventure, Horror/Dark, Fantasy, Slice of Life, Dystopian, can be convinced to write some Sci-Fi
Hard 'no's: Fandoms. Sorry, but I can't maintain interest in characters/worlds I didn't build with my partner
Template: Public threads or PMs. I prefer to keep all my RPs in one place, so no emails or G-docs or the like
Rating: Comfortable with 18+ content, but it's not a necessity and I prefer not to center a plot around explicit scenes
Level: Advanced. Will consistently provide around 400-700 words per post, but can occasionally leap to 2000+
Character preference: One main character, but large side casts are greatly enjoyed. Because I write long posts, I prefer not to double
Gender preference: Male. You'll be hard pressed to convince me to play a female that isn't a background character. It's just not my forte
Romantic Relationships: MxF or MxM (currently prefer MxM)
Character Images: Faceclaims or detailed descriptions only. I envision the characters like real people in my mind, so I can't take anime seriously
OOC chat: Yes please! I'm a total extrovert who loves to get to know the amazing minds behind my partners' characters

Most Recent Posts

He has a hard time lying to her by now cx

I use lists too, haha. I usually look up medieval names and pull from there. And nice! I like her name, since it's pretty unique. I honestly don't remember where I came up with Crow's name xD I knew from the start it would be an alias, but I'm not sure where I got the idea for it specifically. It was most likely just a spontaneous idea
For a second, Crow nearly thought Penelope was going to press him for more details. As she pursed her lips, he held his breath, waiting for her to challenge his claim. However, the brief tension cooled down when a servant came by to set her food down on the table. He fidgeted uncomfortably beneath the table, watching the girl from the corner of his eye and hoping the distraction she had caused would be enough to keep the knight from reading into his vague answer to her question.

When Penelope went on to tell him a little about her morning, he let himself relax for a moment, but quickly discovered that he’d dropped his guard too soon. As soon as the servant had left, he stiffened as the knight accused him of having the same dream again. He didn’t think he’d been that obvious, but apparently, she had gotten better at seeing through him than he’d thought. Well, either that, or she had taken a shot in the dark and he’d given himself away by cringing. Whatever the case, there was no way to get out of it now.

“Fine, yes,” Crow admitted under his breath, glancing off to the side to make sure no one else was listening in on their conversation. His eyes flicked back to her face as he continued with some reluctance, “It came back last night, and I’m fairly confident it’s back for good—at least, for a while... However long it takes me to get past it again.”
That's funny xD
Yeah, most of the people I know who share names are friends of mine. Olivia is the only person I know in real life who I don't get along with that well

Nice xD I actually didn't know that actor's name was the same, but I see the parallels
I didn't have any particular characters in mind when I picked his name way back when. I just wanted it to be similar to his alias, because psychologically, people in witness protection and people who create fraudulent identities tend to subconsciously choose a name that's similar to their own, because it's so closely linked to their identity (hence why both his names share a first consonant).

I sort of picked Collin on a whim and then as I wrote his character for a long time, decided it fit him really well, so I kept it lol
As Crow had been expecting, he noticed right away that Penelope was observing him more closely than she usually did. He breathed an internal sigh as he sat down across from her at the table. The last thing he wanted was for her to get more involved than she already was. She had plenty of her own worries to tend to without being dragged down in his, and since there was no way for her to magically stop the nightmares that plagued his sleep, her concern would do no good for either of them.

At her comment about how late he’d arrived for breakfast, the viceroy shrugged without saying anything. After all, touching on that subject would mean that he would have to admit the reason why he hadn’t eaten earlier. He didn’t want to tell her that he had stayed in bed all morning because of how shaken up he’d been, nor the fact that he had only come to the Great Hall because he knew he needed to eat before meeting with her father later.

Unfortunately, she didn’t give him as much room to dodge around the topic as he would have liked. At her follow-up question, Crow looked away from her to let his gaze wander over the few other people in the room, as if they were suddenly interesting. “I slept through the night,” he answered vaguely, hoping she would assume he meant that he hadn’t had any more nightmares. At least this way, he hadn’t openly lied to her about it. He had slept until the early morning before he’d awoken in a cold sweat.

“How did you sleep?” he added, glancing back at her in prompt to change the subject.
He's already expecting Penelope to interrogate him xD

And it's fine lol I thought it was funny. I actually know a lot of people with the same names as our characters on here. Going down the list, I know an Adam, Collin, Braden (Braedon), Mia, Erica, Nina, Olivia, Tomas (Thomas), John, Wayne, Lucy, and Hunter xD
Crow kept his gaze fixed straight ahead as he walked with Preston through the castle halls. It had become clear to him now that his nightmares seemed to have begun recurring again. Just like when he had been younger, that meant he was going to have to start compensating for the turmoil he felt inside. As such, he pointedly avoided making eye contact with the guards they passed and kept his head up to put on a façade that nothing was wrong. He refused to admit any weakness to the other people in the palace.

Unfortunately, Preston, oblivious as he was, didn’t seem to catch on to the fact that the viceroy was trying to keep his night terrors a secret. For a while, he said nothing as they walked, but after some time, the questions he was holding onto seemed to boil over. He turned to Crow with a curious yet wary gaze, keeping on his toes in case the viceroy snapped at him again. “Are you going to tell me why you’ve started screaming at night?” the attendant asked, subtly putting some distance between them as if he was afraid of getting swung at.

Crow shot him a warning look, “I told you before, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Still?” Preston frowned. “That was yesterday. You still won’t tell me today?”

“I’d rather not tell you at all,” Crow muttered, shoving his hands defensively in his trouser pockets. “Why do you want to know so badly anyway?”

“Because I’m your attendant,” Preston answered, seeming upset. “If something is wrong, I need to help you. It’s my duty.”

“Well, there’s nothing you could do even if I told you, so you might as well drop it,” Crow averted his gaze.

Preston stared at him for a moment longer before he looked away as well. He appeared to finally be learning whose will was stronger between the two of them, which was something the viceroy was thankful for. He was getting tired of fighting with the servant over the subject. After all, what he’d said was true: There was nothing the attendant, or anyone for that matter, could do. It was a battle he was going to have to fight alone, just like he had before.

When the two arrived at the Great Hall, Crow performed a quick sweep of the room, not expecting to see anyone he knew so late in the morning. However, he was surprise to find that Penelope was still here, sitting alone at a nearby table. He blinked, wondering if she had waited for him to see how he was doing. The thought made him shift his weight. He didn’t want to discuss what had happened earlier. All he wanted was to force a bit of food into his roiling stomach and get started on his fighting lesson with John.

However, blatantly sitting at a different table would have looked just as bad. He knew her well enough to expect that she would just worry more if he did something so out of character, so in the end, he took a steeling breath and headed over to join her.
Sounds good!
Crow got worse ^^;

Probably lol they didn't really have any good cures to deal with PTSD in the middle ages
That night, Crow found himself in the marketplace of Tamsworth yet again. He knew he didn’t want to be there, but he couldn’t remember the reason why. Everything seemed so peaceful, and the villagers were so welcoming, yet he couldn’t rid himself of the fear that he wasn’t safe. As he stopped walking to look around, he had a strong feeling of déjà vu, as if he’d done this before. Then, out of nowhere, came the familiar impulse to look at the sky. He tried to fight it, but inevitably lost the battle as his gaze lifted, and the village was plunged into brutal chaos once again.

As the panic set in, Crow spun on his heels and ran to take cover beneath the overturned cart that he remembered so clearly. However, before he reached it, he was cut off by the knight on the ebony, bloodstained mare. The man raised his sword, and the thief closed his eyes, preparing for the inevitable sting of the blade.

In the next moment, the scene changed, and he found himself in Jaxon’s camp once again with a different sword piercing his chest. The murderer’s cruel, twisting smirk was the last thing he saw before the weapon was ripped out and everything faded to red…

--

Crow shot upright on his bed, grasping at his chest and gasping for breath. His body trembled compulsively as the adrenaline from the nightmare fueled him with panicked energy, and he stared down at his lap with wide eyes. Still shaken by the vividness of the dream, he barely registered where he was. All he could think about was the consuming shock that he was alive and unscathed. Tamsworth was gone. Jaxon was gone. There was no sword in his chest. He wasn’t dead. The thoughts came to him in rapid succession, but it took some time before he was able to process through them and acknowledge them as the truth.

In fact, he hadn’t quite worked through them before the door to his room swung open and someone hurried inside. It also took him a moment to realize that the man now at his bedside, saying something and shaking his arm, was Preston. He couldn’t bring himself to speak though. His thoughts were still in shambles, and his throat stung painfully, though he wasn’t quite sure why.

The attendant continued to try and snap him out of the panic, but the viceroy just found his efforts overwhelming. He leaned away from the boy’s touch and brought his hands to his head to block out the sound of his voice, which at the moment, reminded him frighteningly of the panicky shouts of the villagers in his dream. At the thought of them, another image of the slaughter returned, and he squeezed his eyes shut, willing it to go away.

Vaguely, he was aware that there was now a second person in his bedchamber, whom Preston was speaking with in a hurried tone. Crow forced himself to look up just enough to see that the other person was a knight. At once, their conversation reached his ears:

“…should get Eldon, right? This is the second time in two days.”

That was Preston.

The knight’s voice responded: “I think so. He’s clearly unresponsive.”

“He didn’t want me to get a physician last time.”

“That doesn’t matter. He’s the king’s ward. His Majesty will be furious if something happens to him, and you’ll be the one to blame, since you’re his servant.”

A pause.

“…I-I suppose you’re right. I’ll get Eldon.”

That was enough to draw Crow from his haze.

“Don’t,” he managed to rasp, drawing the attention of the other two as he let his hands fall to his lap. They turned toward him, and he swallowed to sooth his sore throat—by now he’d figured out that it hurt because he must have screamed again—before going on in a slightly stronger voice, “I don’t need a physician. I’m fine.”

Preston exchanged an uncomfortable glance with the guard. “You’re clearly worse today,” the attendant objected. “I think you need to—”

“I don’t need anything,” the viceroy interrupted with a cold glare that he turned on the knight next. “What are you doing here anyway?” he snapped, his eyes flicking warily to the sword hanging at the man’s belt. With the memory of his nightmare still fresh in his mind, the presence of the weapon made him leery. He wanted it gone. “This doesn’t concern you. Get going.”

The knight blinked, seeming surprised by the viceroy’s hostile attitude, and then indignantly tossed his head. “If you’re ever really in danger, I hope you suffer,” he scoffed as he turned and walked out of the room.

Crow curled his lip at the guard’s back and then scornfully turned his head to the side. In the back of his mind, he knew he was just making things worse by lashing out at the people who had come to help him, but he couldn’t help it. He was embarrassed that they had heard him scream yet again and was worried that they were just going to try to get more people involved if he didn’t fight them off now. He had to keep them at bay for his own defense

By the door, Preston shifted his weight nervously, seeming unsure how to approach the viceroy while he was still heated. “Do… do you want me to help you get ready for breakfast?” he asked after a short silence.

Crow shook his head. “I’ll get up when I’m ready,” he muttered, refusing to meet the boy’s gaze as he laid back down on his bed and pulled the blanket over his eyes. In the privacy of the bedsheets, he let out his breath in a shaky exhale, trying to calm his still-racing heart. He couldn’t believe his nightmares had come back—and in the middle of the castle, too. He could already tell he was going to have a difficult time hiding his dreams from others when there were so many people around him all the time.

He took another slow breath and closed his eyes. To make matters worse, he felt like he hadn’t slept all night. If things kept up like this, it was going to be hard for him to focus on his studies. He had come so far already. If he started having trouble keeping information straight, he just knew his father was going to be disappointed in him. He couldn’t afford to risk losing his position because of a few bad dreams. It was pathetic.

Crow stayed beneath the blanket for a while longer until he felt like he had calmed down enough to get up. When he pulled the fabric down from over his head, he saw Preston sitting at the table by the window. The attendant turned toward him and hesitated for a moment before he asked, “Are you ready now?”

“Yes,” Crow answered him in a low voice as he climbed down from the bed. In truth, he would have liked to stay there all day—he was dreadfully tired—but he was supposed to meet John in the Great Hall for his lesson that afternoon. He had to at least make an effort to get food in his stomach before he spent the day sparring with the older knight.

Preston nodded and stood up. “I’ve laid out some clothes for you near the wardrobe,” he announced. “The kitchen should still be serving food, so if you get dressed quickly, you may still be able to get something to eat.”

“Alright,” Crow yawned. Following the servant’s instructions, he dressed himself as fast as he could manage, and they headed to the Great Hall together to find out if there was any breakfast left.
I was thinking soon too, especially since it'll probably hit him hard to start out.

No prob! And yeah, I read some similar articles. They also said knights would cope by convincing themselves they were killing for justice, so they would feel like there was a purpose for the terrible things they lived through. Since Crow isn't a knight and doesn't live by a code of honor, he doesn't have anything like that to help him justify the atrocities he's seen. I'm thinking he would best cope with distractions and learning how to get out of a panic attack by himself if/when it happens.

Ooh, I really like that singer's voice. It also fits Penelope super well cx
As Penelope got up from where she had been laying on his chest, Crow stretched languidly and rolled onto his side to settle down more comfortably on his bed. He was still nervous about falling asleep, but as the night wore on, it was growing harder for him to fight the urge to let go. His eyelids drooped wearily as he watched her get ready to leave, and he lightly bit his tongue to stifle a yawn. Even if he had decided he was going to sleep by himself, he didn’t want to pass out until she had left his bedchamber.

When she stepped back over to his bed, he nodded and smiled tiredly at the kiss she planted on his cheek. “I hope so too,” he sighed, shuddering slightly at the thought of reliving his nightmare again. Despite his brief moment of distress, the knight’s touch calmed him. He gave in to the impulse to close his eyes as she ran her hand down his arm. “I love you, Penelope,” he murmured.

He waited for the sound of her receding footsteps followed by the turn of the door handle before he rolled over again, suddenly a little more nervous about falling asleep than he had been when she’d been with him in the room. Part of him was tempted to fight his exhaustion by getting out of bed and pacing, but he was so tired. With each passing second, the temptation to let go and risk the nightmare grew more appealing.

Maybe it won’t happen this time, he thought to himself, drawing his blanket up to his chin and letting out a slow exhale. The dream had only appeared once, after all. That didn’t mean it was going to plague him as it had in the past. With that thought in mind, he finally relinquished control and let himself drift off to sleep.
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