Xaltwind

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

After a bit of teasing from Brandy, especially where Sofia and her shyness was concerned, the satyress followed the other two girls out of the Bubbling Cauldron. On their way, she was obviously very excited about her new ring, almost never taking her eyes off of it as they walked... Which led to no isolated incidents of bumping into strangers and verbal exchanges of the insulting variety following. The only time she did look away from her new prize was when there was something new and exciting to stand on - like a street-side food stall - or when she was conversing with the other two girls.

Upon reaching the blacksmith though, Brandy's bright aura of excitement dimmed a bit. It appeared the bouncy bombshell wasn't a fan of the smokey, dirtty and dim atomosphere of the smithy. It might also have something to do with the complete and absolute lack of anything cute or stylish, being on display. Utilitarian and functional arms and equipment were all well and good, but they certainly wasn't going to win any awards for fashion or aesthetics - two of Brandy's most beloved facets.

The burly blacksmith seemed friendly enough though, more-so than the old clerk over at the magic shop at least. Hearing the request from the undead archer, he raised an eyebrow in a quizzical mattter.

"Farm girl.... Size....?"
"Uh, yeah! That'd be me, chuckles." Brandy said, popping out from behind Sofia and striking an unnecessarily sultry pose by placing one leg forward, her hands behind her head and giving the man a wink and winning smile.
"Ah... I see. You girls adventurers then I take it? Doesn't look like you've been at it for too long, judging by... Well... The lack of scars and your, ahem, frugal equipment." The grey-bearded one said with a cheeky, but not illmeant, smirk.
"Hey! Some of us just happen to be picky about what we wear, muscles. Not everyone can pull off the greasy, soot-smudged apron-look y'know?" Brandy retorted.
"Hah! Ain't that the truth. Still, can't say I have something on hand that'd fit this little lady's... Physique Well, nothing great anyway. I got some loose breastplates with strap-fasteners and a cuirass or two that might work, but they all mighgt be a bit tight.".
"You sayin'¨I'm fat, you jerk!?"
"Ya certainly got some meat on those bones." The man laughed.
"... Dick." Brandy said while sticking out her tongue and turning around in a harumph.
"Really though. You girls might wanna invest in a shield or perhaps some better weapons instead. None of ya exactly strike me as the steel-clad warrior who wades into the fray. I got some bucklers and smaller shields over on that wall. And if you're looking to replace that wooden stick, I've got maces annd morning stars over in the corner next to the axes and hatchets. Have a look."

Brandy was however too busy sulking and grabbing at her own waistline, attempting to catch any excess flab there, to even hear what the man had to say. Normally she wouldn't care about negative comments about her appearance, but this was more a natural reaction that - for some reason - a lot of women seemed to have when their weight was commented upon. Needless to say, she was distracted for the time being.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

After rubbing her nose a bit and looking over their haul, laying sprawkled out on the counter, Brandy eventually pulled up the cute (but most definetely unsanitary) dress.

"So, old timer! What's this one do?" Brandy asked excitedly, apparently having forgotten all about Alice's previous explanation.
"That..." The old clerk stated, while taking his scrying glass and giving the garment a once-over. "... is a completely mundane dress." He stated, matter-of-factly.
"Y-you sure? It's not got some kinda wacky, super-awesome and 'totes useful magicky-sauce in it?"
"Afraid not, miss." The dryas-dry wall-shop attendant stated, not seeming to be in the mood to make idle chatter with his customers.
"Aww... That's a bummer." Brandy said with a slight pout, looking down at the dress while her ears drooped. After hearing Alice ask if she wanted any of the stuff though, the satyress started intently at all their booty. And Alice's and Sofia's booties... For some reason... Before finally plucking the snazzy ring. "This one! The old guy said it had some magic to make things hurt you less, yeah? So if I have this, those magic balls that the short-stuff was firing off wouldn't hurt so bad, right?" It was amazing. Brandy actually understood what a magical enchantment did? Perhaps there was hope yet.

As for the rest of their collection, she seemed indifferent, suggesting only that Sofia keep the monocle because it looked cool
on her, and suggesting that Alice keep the robe for use as a washcloth or cleaning rag.

Interestingly, with the money they'd make if nobody else in their group would want to keep any other items, the girls could probably afford some neat and handy new gear! Perhaps not a full, decked-out set of armor and weapons with mystic enchantments that would make any reincarnated hero from another world green with envy, but at least they would be able to pick up some cool new stuff... Like maybe a weapon that was more than a wooden club with metal spikes in it for Brandy? Or a bigger potion bag for Alice? Or a larger quiver for Sofia? Or sexy new underwear!?! The possibilities were endboobs... Err, I mean, endless! Also, Brandy had started meandering about the shop, looking at all the odds and bobs around, laughing when she saw a minitaure gargoyle statuette and being confused by a wooden rubic's cube-like puzzle-doodad.

It seemed that, as far as she was concerned, their business here was all but done. Only thing left was to finalize sales and get on with what remained of the day.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

After having received the signature of Vincent the Toad-faced hunchback, the party was on their way. Though not before Brandy having had a bit of a laugh at Vreznok getting smacked by a shovel, obviously. The trip back to Gnarlton was largely uneventful, with the only real points of interest being the little satyr singing the praises of her two companions, showering them with praise for their skill, smarts and battle-prowess. She was very excited to brag about them, to them, even thouygh they were both present and were very aware of what the other had done... But apparently some people like to re-tell things that just hhappned to people who were present when said things happened... It's a strange thing.

Of note also was that the satyress would repeatedly massage her chest during the walk. Or, to be more precise, the boobie that got struck by one of the wicked gnome's magic missiles. Apparently it had done more damage and was more of a constant source of discomfort than originally believed. Understandable, of course. Brandy had never been hit by harmful magic before, and while she had a well-toned body from years working at a farm, she wasn't exactly a burly mountain of a woman who could shrug off pain as if it was just some drops of rain. While this wasn't an issue so long as they were on the road outside of town, it quickly become a head-turning action once they were back inside the walls of Gnarlton. Brandy didn't seem to notice though. Or she didn't mind. Or both, given that it was her.

Returning to the Gnarlton Guild Hall of G.O.R.E, the chain-smoking receptionist raised an eyebrow and shot the girls a questioning smirk when they came waltzing in, carrying a hogtied, partially naked gnome with them. After a bit of explaining - mostly by Alice and Sofia - and a bit of waiting for the guards to show up, things eventually calmed down. Witness testimonies and recounting of events were done, with Brandy's version being the least useful sa it was full of verbalized sound-effects and nonsense... But as all three of the girls' stories matched up, and with the validated slip from their client, the guards eventually hauled the little wretch of a necromancer off to the local jail.

The old crone with the hoarse voice gave the young ladies a snarky compliment, but did offer some genuine advice on where they could go if they needed to have some of their 'spoils' looked over. Apparently the guards didn't mind the girls keeping the equipment of Vreznok as their own, given that any possessions of criminals were forfeit anyway. The old receptionist-lady suggested the trio visit a shop called the 'Bubbling Cauldron', a sort of a mystic curio-shoppe with a proclivity for dealing in lesser magic trinkets and baubles. The proprietor there was apparently a mage and could probably identify or suss out the properties of any enchanted loot they might have scraped together.

"Thanks, gran! We'll defs go check it out, right girls?" Brandy exlcaimed happiyl, shaking the non-cigarette-holding-hand of the old woman.... Who was glaring daggers at the satyr for her remark about the former's apparent age.

The Bubblign Cauldron was located along one of the streets over in the market-district. Actually not too far from where Sofia and Brandy had gone clothes-hunting earlier. It was now a bit into the afternoon, and the three adventurers would need to get a move on, less dusk fall before they could get their precious haul looked over and catalogued properly.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

"oooOOoOOoh... Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...! Thanks, Sofers." Brandy moaned in discomfort as the undead archer helped her back on her hooves. Standing back up, the little satyress gently massaged her bosom where the magic missile had struck, a pouty expression on her face as she did so - with no regard for decency as usual. When she saw the wretched gnome tied up in what was essentially a hogtie, she couldn't help but sneer.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, look at this. The might Wrestcrook, tied and gagged like a piggy ready for the spitroast! Maa-haa-haa-haa~!" Apparently, she was not above kicking those already down... And incapacitated...

Then the important bit was underway, divvying up the spoils.

Brandy complimented Sofia's newly acquired monocle, stating it made her look about 50% smarter... Which was an odd compliment to begin with, but no dobut Brandy didn't mean taht Sofia hadn't been looking intelligent previously. Following Alice over to the chest though, the satyr bobbed up and ddown excitedly as they opened the loot-box and peered inside. The tanned bombshell's eyes twinkled and a big old smile spread across her face as she got her first look at her very first real taste of actual treasure. It was a momentus occassion for the fomer farm-girl, and she squeed in delight with no inhibition or restraint.

"Woooah! Lookit all this stuff! Al! This is amazing! Just...! Just...! Look at it!" Brandy was excitedly tugging at Alice's sleeve and shoulder, like a kid on christmas day... Even though the concept of christmas didn't exist in this world. Nor did Jesus. Looking over the goods, Brandy reached down and plucked up the knife with the skull-pommel, fiddling with it and then turning her head to look back at Sofia.

"Yeah, this one's definetely for Sofers. It fits her style and aura so well, like the dark heroine with her secret weapon, yeah?" So the satyr suggested at least. When she saw the belt though, she picked it up and gave it a glance-over, then looked at Alice. More precisely, Alice's waist... "Mmm... Yeah, this thing... Isn't really my style, y'know? But hey, maybe you could use it, Al? More belts mean you can carry more of those elkimical thingydoodads, right?" She stated, putting the belt back down.

Finally, Brandy picked up the tiny ring and stared at it. Like, really, really, really stared at it. For a country-bumpkin who'd lived her entire life on a farm, she'd probably never seen an actual gold ring, let alone one studded with precious stones. It was very clear that she was fascinated by it. ... And probably wanted it too. But, contrary to what one would have guessed, the satyr put it back down and slipped it into the bag with the silver coins. She did however forcefully grab onto the misplaced dress inside the chest and pull it out.

"Wha-wh-what!? The heck? What's something this cute and gorgeous doin' in a crummy place like this!? No! This is just wrong! Why does Breasthook get to have a cute outfit like this lying around? No fair! Nope, not one bit! Thatä's it! I'm taking this! Bad guys don't get to have nice things." She huffed, trying to sound seriuous and valiant, but failing spectracularly since her eyes were a-sparkle and she had a big, goofy smile and blushy cheeks...

Regardless!

Once the loot had been scooped up and the girls had made sure that there were no more important things around - aside form the knocked-over scrolls and books from Vreznok's make-shift coffin-table, the time had come to leave. The two zombified ghouls were now lying still and quiet, with big, gaping holes burnt through their torsos. Chances were, they weren't going to be moving anytime soon... Like, ever... Well and truly dead, in every sense of the word.

Leaving the crypt behind, they exited the necromancer's lair and stepped back out into the cemetery. Fortunately, not too much time seemed to have passed and there was still daylight left. Now, all taht remained was to go knock on Vincent's door, show him the captured gnome, explain and then head back to Gnarlton to report their success. Indeed, this was all in the bag. Well, sort ofö. Vreznok seemed to have recovered from his family-jewel-shattering pain and was now loudly and wildly protesting against his current state of being. Muffled swears and growls, coupled with shaking and squirming to make as much of a nuisance of himself as possible to transport and bring along...

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

Brandy exclaimed a strange noise when Alice threw her boomy bomb into the room. She started cheering like a cheerleader (complete with poses and fictitious pom-poms) when Sofia felled the two ghouls. She then let out another 'meep'-like sound when Vreznok decided to resurrect his fallen minions as new mibions. It was a whole cavalcade of silliness, really.

Now, one had to bear in mind that Brandy Vanillarin was a simple girl. She came from a farm and had lived a relatively uneventful and uneventful life. So, to be put in a cramped, dank, dark and moody location, complete with a deranged gnome who could cast actual god-damned magic and a pair of slobbering undead abominations. Well, needless to say that this was a bit overstimulating for someone who, until just recently, had only ever battled against a horned rabbit and acted as a distraction for a feral troll. So great was her information overlaod that Brandy didn't even realize she was being approached by Martin, the ghoul, until a pair of magic bolts whipped past her head.

And struck Sofia, repeatedly, causing their undead ally to stumble backwards. Gaping in horror at first, the little satyr's head quickly snapped towards where Vreznok was hiding, and with a burning, seething rage in her eyes, she let out a ... Well, as close to a battle cry as you could get with a satyr.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT MY FRIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEND?! YOU LITTLE SHIIIIIT!!"

With a determination of unbreakable iron, the tanned satyrress swung her spiky club sideways at the approaching zombie-ghoul. Said creature received a severe blunt trauma impact to the side of the noggin', causing it to topple over sideways and flail about on the ground for a bit. While the blow hadn't been enough to shatter or pulverize the skull, it had been enough to knock half the creature's jaw loose... Which was now dangling grotesquely from just one chin... Several teeth had also been smacked out of the gob and onto the dusty floor... It wasn't pretty.

"Harlot! How dare you-! And you!" The agitated gnome waved his cane at Alice as she sliced off the hand belonging to Thelma. "Take this!" He shouted markedly, while chanting some weird, non-rhyming nursery rhyme of sorts. After which a purple shimmering ray of... beaminess! Shot out of his cane and struck Thelma in the back... Which... Somehow, caused the hand that had just been lopped off to reattach itself ... Somehow... Don't ask for specifcs, magic's crazy like that.

"GNOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!" A sudden shout from the other end of the coffin-table reminded Vreznok that he had to deal with the charging satyr-girl too. Mere blinks before Brandy trampled over the makeshift desk and brought her club down, the wily little turd squirreled away sideways, and mumbled some jumbled words. After which, Brandy let out a horrified screech of panic.

"M-M-M-My eyes! Al! Sofers! I'm blioiiiiiiiiind!" She called out in a frantic state of complete confusion and fear. Which was made worse by the fact that some kind of small, very localized cloud of pitch-black darkness was now circling around her head, obfuscating it completely. Of course, Brandy being Brandy, she didn't stop or pause after becoming unable to see. Rather, she began to wildly flail her arms and her club, kicked at the air and run around like a headless chicken, knocking over the notes, books and other scribing utilities on Vreznok's table.

"What's wrong with you, you bimbo?! Cease this lunacy at once and just lie down and die! A vulgar bitch like you is only good for breeding anyway!" The gnome hurled insult and sexism in equal measures. Inbefore lifting his wand and chanting some words again, and letting another bolt of magic fly towards Brandy, striking her square in the boob. The satyress let out a pained yelp as she tumbled backwards, while Vreznok let out a maniacal laugh as if he was some villainous mastermind whoh ad just landed a blow on an overpowered hero from a parallel world or soemthing.

Oh, and Martin had gotten back up by this point. And Thelma was now trying to get reeeeeeeeaaaaaaal close to Alice's face and bite her snout off... Possibly because she was jealous, since neither she nor Martin had their noses... Or, she was just a zombie, trying to eat brains. As zombies do.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

As the three girls were happily, or not, talking away just outside the mysterious door, the obvious cliché soon followed. Without warning, the heavy door that had previously been firmly shut suddenly swung open, slamming into the brickwork wall with a heavy thump. The sudden occurrence made Brandy let out cutesy 'Eep!'-noise and prompted hte satyress to leap backwards instinctively... Right into Sofia... Which cause the two to collapse in a pile of comedically entangled limbs and questionably suggestive poses and positions... It seemed Sofia's bad luck had some benefits at times.

But putting the fan-service only observable to Alice aside for the time being...

Past the open doorway a room was visible. A rectangular room. In the dead center was a stone coffin, which had been turned into a macabre desk. There were two skulls on each end, each with a lit candle atop eithers cranium. There was an inkwell with a single-fingered skeletal hand dipped into it, and several bo0oks and documents stacked ontop of each other. On one side of the room there was also a hunched over, snarling figure, apparently busy with gnawing or eating something on the floor. Whoever they were, their skin looked leathery and their hair was wiry and frayed, as well as a matted black color. On the other end of the room was a similar figure, though this one more slim and slender, and with stark white hair. Interestingly, or perhaps concerning, was the fact that neither of them seemed to be wearing any clothes except for a ragged, ratty and tattered loincloth. This was paricularly alarming since the white-haired thingy-whos-it was very clearly female upon closer inspection.

However, the most striking feature of all, was the person sitting at the strange coffin-desk. It was...!

... A... really short guy...?

[color=silver]"Wha-wha-what is this infernal racket!? Who dares disturb the work of VREZNOK, MASTER OF DOOM!?"

...

...

For someone with such an ominous name, his voice sure was rather squeaky... And while he did indeed rock a most magnificent and well-kept pompadour and perfectly waxed and trimmed moustache, as well as a gilded monocle on his left eye, it was still ... Difficult... To take this short-stuff seriously. Jumping off his extremely lavish, ornate and comfortable-looking leather-cushioned chair, the small man rounded his desk and stood infront of it, looking out into the hall where the gilrs were. He wore an extravagant robe of purple and black, with gold accents and trim, and a pair of soft leather boots. Needless to say, this fellow seemed to be in the money, as they say. But that aside, he was now glaring with a disapproving scowl at the three ladies who had invaded his hidden sphere of dominion, or some such.

[color=silver]"Who are you foolish girls!? What business do you have here, in the lair of the great and powerful BREZNOK, MASTER OF DOOM, huh? No mere ordinary skanks could ever hope to find my oh-so-cleverly concealed laboratory! Speak, reveal to me your intent! Or be destroyed." His high-pitched, nasaly voice, coupled with hsi overly dramatic and arrogant way of speaking was in no way at all surprisingly grating.

At this point though, after a good bit of fondling and touching and making strange noises, Brandy had amanged to get off and free from Sofia, standing back up and brushing dust and dirt from herself. Only just now seeing the black and glossy-haired ... Shorty... She let out a snort, followed by a laugh.

"Maa-haa-haa-haa!! Wh-what the heck is this!? You serious? This guy serious, girls!? Maa-haa-haa! Lookit him, he's barely tall enough to reach my bellybutton! Oh man, ths is like, too much! I was expecting some kinda evil overlord-type, but we get thus munchkin instead?"
[color="silver]"M!? M-m-m-munchkiin!? How DARE you, insolent wench!? You dare make light of VREZNOK, MASTER OF DOOM'S illustrious and noble gnomish heritage? You shall suffer, suffer greatly!"[/silver]
"Yeah, yeah! Maa-haa-haa! Whatever you say, lil' guy. So, uh, hold on, I gotta just-" Brandy had to wipe tears from her eyes from laughing too hard "-So, anyway. You know anythint about that boney guy in the sawmp out back?"
[color=silver]"You dare mock and ignore me, then demand answers for you insignificant questions!? You... You... You impudent vagrant hussie! This insolence shall not stand! I will turn you all into my servants an dhave you service me with those lewd and vulgar bodies of yours for all eternity! Martin, Thelma, GET THEM!" And now he was disclosing that he was also a total perv and chauvinist... Awesome my guy.

Though at his command, the two figures who had been languishing in the background suddenly perked up. With snarling, beastial howls, they both faced the doorway and, with surprising speed, began to make a mad dash towards the trio of invading ladies... On all four... Now that they got closer, and their bodies and faces got illuminated by the light of the candles, who and what they were was made much clearer.

And they were ghouls. Yup. Their fingers and toes ended in sharp, bony claw-like protrusions, their eyes were yellow, they didn't have noses but just the holes, and their jaws seemed to be able to extend far further than what is anatomically possible for humans. Oh, and their teeth was also yellow. Meanwhile, this Vreznok produced a small, hooked wooden cane, or wand, from his back and aimed it at the girls, letting out a shrill, manical laughter.

"A-Al! S-Sofers! Whadda we doooo~ !?" Brandy's jovial and immensely amused disposition had changed quite drastically in the past few moments, and her ears were now s flitting nervously forwards and backwards and hair tail had gone stiff and upright. She fumbled along her waist before grabbing hold of her spikey blunt instrument and yanked it free of its holding-loop.

An epic battle of legendaryproportions was underway!

... Or you know, three random adventurers versus a supposed gnomish necromancer and his two minions... Whichever floats your boat.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

"Oooooh, way to go, Sofers! That's our sharp-eyed shooty-babe for ya! That hidden place didn't stand a chance, maa-haa-haa~!" Brandy praised Sofia energetically, bounding over to the center of the room to join her two friends. Interestingly, Alice was the first one down the flight of stairs, which would give Brandy extra motivation not to fall behind! In a mad dash, as if someone had lit a fire under her plump butt, the satyress barreled down the stairs as well.

... And promtply kept going once down ...

She ran ahead, without a throught or fear for the possibhlity of enemies, traps, crumbling architecture or all of the above at once. It seemed the adventuring spirit had taken over and the excitable farm-girl was so focused on the endless possibilites of what could lie ahead that all rhyme and reason had been thrown to the wind. Not that that was particularly unusual for this lass though.

For Alice and Sofia, who weren't all gu8ng-ho and running at full speed intot the darkness of an extremely suspiscious crypt hidden under a very modest cemeteray, they'd pick up on some more details than Brandy. For one, there were brass fixtures on the left side of the walls down here, with small tallow candles - unlit, of course - but nontheless present. Also, despite it being underground and in a seemingly sealed-off area, the air down here was actually better than the one up in the tiny mausoleum. Also, there was nowhere near as much dust down here as above. This all pointed towards a single conclusion! ... Which was... uh... Beyond Brandy's ability to guess, but the two other girls would surely figure it ou-

BONK!!

"Owie!" A loud, wooden sound echoed from deeper ahead, followed by Brandy's plaintive voice.

The tanned satyress had run straight on into a large, vaulted door, made of sturdy wood with a big, iron ring as a handle on it. She was now sitting on her as-aforementioned-plump buttocks, rubbing her forehead. How anyone could lack the perception to avoid running head-first into a door was a mystery, but let's not dwell on that too mch for now. Mumbling curses and swears under her breah, Brandy stood up and glared at the door, as if it'd done something horribly wrong.

"Stupid thing, comin' outa nowhere when it's dark! Who puts a big old door like this in the middle of a hallway anyway? Hmph!" Brandy puffed her cheeks out and kicked at the door, missing obviously, but seeming to be unphased by that tidbit.

"Hey! Al! Sofers! I found a door! I betcha the bad guys're in here!" ... With no concern or tact for things like subtlety and stealth, Brandy called out for her two allies to come join her. Then again, given her previous physical intimacy with said door, whoever was on the other side was probably already aware of their presence.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

Brandy pouted as Sofia crushed her dreams with cruel reality when she demonstrated how, in fact, an arrow-head could not be used as a lockpick to open doors. Her ears stood almost straight up, like those on a bunny, when Alice unleashed the wrath of luminence upon the padlock via her new, om-the-spot, alchemical substance of DOOM. And, luckily for the satyr, who was noq squatting down over the melted metal ex-lock, she was stopped by Alice's warning about not touching the damn thing before she could poke the smoldering remains out of curiosity, recoiling in abject fear of the sheer terror of imagening one of her delicate and exquisite fingers being melted off like warmed butter.

"W-well! Anyways, good job, Al!" Brandy finally stated, having now stood back up and brushed the vivid imagery of de-fingering from her mind. "Let's head inside and find the bad guy! Or gal. Or thing. We hafta avenge that boner-guy!" She exclaimed, pumping her fist into the air, having seemingly or conveniently forgotten that said bony man met his demise at her own hand rather than that of some nefarious mastermind.

Pushing the vaulted metal door open, Brandy was the first to enter the mausoleum. Doing so also caused her to start coughing and sneezing and shaking her head like a dog trying to dry its coat after getting wet. The interior of the tiny crypt-hut was... Dusty... To say the least. Layer upon layer of caked, ancient and dry-as-phuck dust lay prevalent all about. On the floor, walls, cracks of the walls, atop the sarcophagi, the statue at the very back and the memorial urns on the concaved and vaulted shelf-indentations on the walls. After having sputtered and frantically brushed her face and head free from the initial onslaught of dust, the satyr turned to her two allies still outside the door.

"This place sucks! Whoever's in charge of keeping things clean is a total slacker. Jeez, it's so dusty and moldy and miserable, who'd ever wanna be dead in an awful place like this!?" She whined, outraged at having been dirtied by the dirty and dank locale.

As she continued to bemoan the crappy conditions of the crypt, Brandy wasn't exactly paying attention to her surroundings. Apart from a pair of large, lying stone sarcophagi at the center of the room inside, there was also a statue off to the very back - probably a statue of some protective god or something of the departed. There were a total of eight urns, four on one wall and four on the other, mirror almost to a T. There were wall-sconces, but they weren't lit, so the only light that came into the place was from the now-open doorway. Other than this, the place was rather dull - tiled stone floor, brickworkk walls, bricked ceiling amd apart form the pots made of - what seemed to be - brass, everything else was just grey.

Obviously, the more important detail of course, was that there didn't seem to be anyone or anything inside the mausoleum. No person or creature of the darkness, no wicked or manically laughing lunatic who praised them for discovering their contrived plot.. Just a dusty, empty room. Surely there had to be something inside though? Othwerwise, Alice's death magic-detection-sludge would have had to be classed as faulty! But that didn't seem like it was very likely. No, more likely was that there was more to this drab place than one could first see.

After having finished the ramblings, the tanned and buxom goat-girl proceeded to, carelessly, march straight into the center of the cryptorium and start touching absolutely everything with zero regard for whoever was laid to rest in either urn or large stone coffin. Poking and smudging and smelling and sneezing-on... Yup... No vvampire-sneezes either. Full-on, non-covering-the-mouth sneezes... Any man of the cloth who saw this would likely have branded her a blasphemous and heretical sacrilege on two legs for the blatant disrespect towards the deceased.

"So, uh... Al, Sofers? What're we 'spose to be looking for in here? i don't see anyone evil around..."

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

Brandy's cute little goat-ears didn't stop being droopy, even after Alice explained the situation with rationality and law-abiding technobabble. Probably because the satyr didn't know what a crusader was to begin with, or why whatever it was gave people the right to undo undead. Still, after the werewolf had made the miniature marker of martyrdom to the departed deadman, Brandy wqas respectful enough to clasp her hands together and offer up a silent little prayer. Or perhaps she was just imitating what she'd seen others do at funerals? Who could really say.

After her alchemist-ally proceeded to mix the group up the little container of negative energy-tracking goop, the trio would meander about the swmap for a bit. Ironically, as they wandered about the boggy wetland, they soon came to the realization that the reaction got stronger whenever they were walking in the direction of the graveyard they'd come from earlier.

"Looks like that sludge gets darker when we like, get back towards the graves and stuff. Let's head back, girls!" Brandy suggested, very gung-ho about finding the culprit who had revived Mr. Chesterwood, probably so she could give them an earful.

On the little satyress' sugggestion, they made their way back to the spot where they'd started - Brandy helping Sofia out of the swamp, which was oddly thoughtful and considerate of her... Or perhaps she just didn't want to risk losing another undead citizen of the world today. Still though, as they entered the gorunds and poked about, they noticed something. Whenever they got close to the big, locked-up maousoleum at the center of the cemetery, the goopy beacon Alice had made went almost completely pitch black. This would insinuate that whatever had brought back the gentleman of bones was somewhere inside.

... But wait...

"Huh? Al, you sure this thingymuhwhatsit's actually workin'? I mean, it's gloomin' up a storm near this big ol' house here, but like... There's a big lock... And chains... On the outside! How the heck're we 'spose to get inside a place that's all locked up tighter than am overprotective father's daughter's virginity!? Oh, wait! I know!" The satyr bemoaned, but then came to haved an idea in that empty head of hers. "Sofers! You got arrows! You can like, stick'em in and twist'em around and jerk'em a lil', right? Kinda like a key, but not a key, yeah?" Brandy bobbed up and down on her hoofy heels, excited about her lockpick-idea... Which was completely ridiculous, since Sofia's arrows would likely not work at all.. Or even fit inside the keyhole for that matter.

They could always ask the charming gravekeeper for the key, but somehow that seemed as an unlikely avenue of approach, given his earlier disposition. They could probably havve Alice blow up the padlock and chains though! ... Albeit that may cause a whole heap of other problems in the future... Likely the only reason Brandy hadn't suggested that was because she still had a bit of a negative outlook on the bombs, given that Alice collapsed the last time she'd used one.

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

After summarily shattering the skull of the suspiscious skeletal stalker, Brandy felt her chest swell with prid and her eyes twikled with the fire of excitement. Finmally. Finally she had taken her first step to become a true adventurer! Having vanquished an evil, nefarious and possibly lecherous creature of the living dead - forgetting entirely that Sofia was one too - was sure to put her on the right track to reaching the stars and beyond!

... Wait... Bawling? What was going on here!?

After hearing the cries of Alice, and watching her companion dive into the gunky muck to rescue the crumbling bones of the clobbered culprit, Brandy couldn't help but stand still and confused for a bit. The satyress had been so lost in her own thoughts and her own brilliance that she'd sort of zoned out for a bit... Or, for a good while actually...

Still, when her werewolf friend started crying about how the now re-deceased skeleton was a gentleman, or had been one, and Sofia turned to her and stated that she may have made a mistake... Well, let's just say that the busty babe of a satyr suddenly felt a veritable mix of emtoions. These included confusion, bewilderment, fear, anxiety, hunger, bafflement and an icy chill running down her spine. Her goaty ears drooped down and she looked at the spiky club in her hand, which ironically still had fragments of Phil's skull stuck in it. Then, a realization dawened on Brandy as she watched Alice mourn the bones of the fallen. The satyress dropped the club to the ground, placed both her hanmds against her chin to try and cover her mouth, and began frantically swaying back and forth, side to side, in quick, spastic movements, while all the while going:

"OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!OhMyGods!" Her eyes had shrunk down and she'd gone a bit pale, despite her really nice tan. After a few minutes of these shennanigans, Brandy suddenly snapped to attention, turned to Sofia, grabbed the undead's shoulders with an iron grip, stared into the eyes of her ally, and with a face that screamed: WHAT HAVE I DONE?! she spoke in a horse and wuncharacteristically stammering voice.

"So-So-So-So-Sofers! I mu-mu-mu-mu-murderized him! I c-c-c-clobberkilled Al's b-b-b-boyfriend! Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-whaaa! What should I do?! I'm a c-c-c-criminal now! A criminal! A bandit! A thug!! A bad guy! I'm gonna end up in jail and get whipped and forced to do all sorts of things for the other prisoners! Waah!"

She was... Very upset... To say the least...

As for Master Philip Jay Matthew Chesterwood Esquire... Well, despite Alice's best intents adn efforts to re-assemble him, it was kinda hard to maintain an existence without a head. And given that most of his skull had been unceremoneously shattered and caved in by a certain zealous satyr savior, there wasn't really any chance of him suddenly getting back up, dusting himself off and making a cheesy one-liner like: "Back from the dead, baby!". No, not at all. He was well and truly dead. For realsies this time.