Status

Recent Statuses

3 days ago
Current Sick of being sick
1 like
4 days ago
Delicious, delicious porkchops~
6 days ago
Moo
2 likes
9 days ago
Thermo-dynamics claim entropy is simply a lack of information... Thus, everything falling apart must directly be caused by uneducated stoopid people, right? Science so smurtz!
1 like
10 days ago
Welp, time to go give the dentist more of my money

Bio

I work at a grocery store.
Weekdays I'm usually online from around 3:00 PM, GMT+1/CET.
Weekends I'm usually online from around 10:00 AM GMT+1/CET.
My Steam name is the same as here, so if you want to add me and chat, go right ahead.

I do anime-roleplay, and nothing else.

Most Recent Posts

After getting an earful of details about the various flavors of the potions, and it finally culmniating with an overly explanatory explanation of tea, where it was from and the potion's flavor, Bradny could do little else but snicker. This wolf-girl was all over the place and seemed so excited. She was just the kind of person that the little satyress had been hoping to run into. Sure, she loved her calm and docile family with all her heart, but they were just so... Stiff, and boring, at times. After having been led to the well, drawn some water and returned to the scene-of-the-crime, Brandy listened further as the pooch asked about her reasons for joining the Guild, while sitting mostly back, one leg crossed over the other, and watching the werewolf go to town on cleaning-duty.

"Weeeeell, it's nothing sappy or super-cheesy like avenging my murdered lover or being a run-a-way princess seeking to prove herself. Though I 'spose you could be forgiven for thinking that." She gave herself a once-over before going on. "In my case, I just wanted to see more of the world, and not spend my entire life plowing fields and being peeped on in the bath by my older brother." She stated, not realizing that what she'd just said may have caused some people to raise an eyebrow at the way it was worded."Don't get me wrong, I love the farm I grew up on and everything, it was really peaceful and nice, but it was sooooooo boriiiiiiiiing... Just chores, chores and more chores... Do this, do that, don't do that, don't do this, stop wearing that, stop leading the neighbour's son on, stop leading the neighbour's younger son on, yadda-yadda. Y'know? That kinda stuff. I just wanted to be able to go places, see people, try stuff out that didn't involve a hoe or seed. " She elaborated, while leaning back on a bench and putting both arms behind her head, staring with a daydreamy-kind-of-face into the ceiling for a bit.

Eventually though, she got off her fetching rump and, towards the end of it all, lent a hand with the cleaning. Between the two girls' efforts, the bloodstains were mostly removed and the reception retuyrned to a ... Presentable... state of existence. The rags were a bit discolored now and the water in their bucket looked less than sanitary, but the job had been dine and it had been ... Passably well! Huzzah!

"Well, that takes care of that. SO like, what do you do now? That tiny chick said something about there being stuff on a board...? I saw you run over to that slab o' wall over there, the one with the little paper-strips on it. That where ya pick up work here?" The satyr asked, tilting her head while pointing daintily at the quest billboard over by the front door. "So, how do you get started? Just pick something and do what the note tells ya?" She asked in addition.

Of course, there was a bit more beaurocracy involved than that. Having already finished a task herself, Alice would know the proper procedure of bringing the quest one wished to do up and over to the reception, having the receptionist verify who and how many were taking on the job and finally recording all the details in a registry, before one could finally set off on their quest. Of course, with Karin currently out an d missing, the only thing one could do with the billboard right now was give it a good stare-down and choose between the modestly meagre selection of available jobs...

... Whcih mostly invovled things like 'Clean my chimney', 'Go to the mill and get flour for our bakery', 'Walk my dog', 'Take this letter to Nutbrook' and, of course; 'Kill that infernal horned rabbit that keeps eating my vegetable patch'. So many glorious options to choose from! ... Naturally, Brandy couldn't read any of them, since her parents only taught her how tor ead and write in old minotaur script, which was only used in a very limited region of the world nowadaysw...
With the pyre finally all but gone, the embers put out by tail-sweeping, dirt-dumping and water splashing, there really wasn't anything left to do or say here at the mouth of the former goblin cave. Doing as the big lizard had wanted, Druid Girl picked up one of the still-in-decent-condition daggers and slid it into her- oh that's right she didn't have have belt or skirt on.... She fumbled with the sharp tool for a bit, before gently putting it into her pouch. If she was gonna keep this thing, she'd have to get a sheath or something for it once they got hback to town. That headache could wait for now though.

With the spunky archer leading their way, the group set off from the grove, heading back towards the farmstead in - more or less - the same fashion they'd come earlier. It was a bit harder to navigate and make out the goblin tracks down, one reason being the darkness and the other being the tracks being several hours old, and faded, by now. Still, with a bit of fenagling and a lot of determination, they eventually could make out the rustic structures of the farm in the dim light of the moons. Although Druid Girl wasn't exactly elated to be back here, this was the nearest, best place to let their rescued survivor get a proper good rest for now.

Fortunately, their trip back to her farm had been uneventful and uninterupted. No wild beasts had try to ambush them and no new goblins, or worse, had reared their ugly heads in any attempts at an ambush. Of course, the walk had been anyhting but jubilant, and mostly done in a quiet, unchatty and somber mood. Understandable, given the situation and time of day(night?).

Still, now that they were here, having just passed by the shoddy fencing that surrounded the place, the olny thing really left to worry about was dealing with the ornery and less-than-pleasant farmer. Apparoching the door of the farmhouse proper, Druid Girl would sigh and give the door a few, stern knocks - with the tip of her oak staff - to ensure the banging was loud enough to stir the man from his sleep. A minute passed, with no audible or visible reaction. She knocked again, this time harder. A noise was then heard, sounding like a muffled voice from within. The sound of somehting metallic being knocked over followed, shortly accompanied by loud cursing and foul language. Then, just as suddenly, the door flung open and out of the doorway steppeed the farmer... Completely void of clothes... Any clothes... Holding a small brass candlestick with a lit candle in one hand, and a fire-poker, the kind you used for fireplaces, in the other.

He squinted in the darkness, with a ... Less-than-intimidating-attempt at a mean-mug on his face... Before he realized and recognized just who was at his door. The arm holding the firepoker relaxed and fell down along his side and he let out a hissing, irritated wheeze.

"The hell're you folks doing 'ere at this hour?! I was sleepin' like a babe I was, had a good dream too."
"We've cleared out the goblins in the cave north of here." Druid Girl said. "We were hoping we could use your barn to sleep in, until morning."
"The hell's ya needin' to do that for? If'n them lil monsters be all dead, why don'cha just head on back to town? I already paid ya my share of the money!"
"The town's gates are locked at night, remember? Even if we went back, we couldn't get inside." The caramel-girl replied, sighing in exasperation.
"Bah... Fine, fine. Jus' don't spook the cows! And don't be makin' a mess. And don't even think 'bout takin' anything in there with ya! Them gobbers already stole more than enough of my stuff." He angrily warned and stated... Before looking over Druid Girl's shoulder and spotting Big Red, carrying the red-head. "Wha's this now? Ya went and fished yerself another girl? Don'cha have enough wives as is, big fella?" The middle-aged, leathery skinned man said, with a smarmy grin on his lips. He then looked at Druid Girl again, and then at Steppe Archer. "See you two decided to go with matchin' outfits. Can't say I'm a fan, I prefered yer other look better, missy." The man stated, rather bluntly, to the druid, who gave him no response in return.
"... Thank you, for letting us stay. Good night." She eventually replied, before turning around and heading off towards the barn.
Update: 20/10/20

  • Nimerescha Bavaloure added to the Guild of Renta-Experts section. See Members: for more details.
"Good, I do so like obedient children." The Hall Mistress aid, before apparently feeling like all that needed to be said and done had been said and done. Turning on her tiny heels, she slowly made her way back into the murky dim dark of her office, closing the door behind her without actually even touching it... Was it automated? Magic? The wind? Who could say.

Having managed to fish out a decently sized bucket, with a few rough cloth rags in it, Brandy finally stood back up straight - no longer exposing both rump, tail and underwear to anyone (un)fortunate enough to walk in and see her from behind. She did so at a most opportune time, as the frantic werewolf had just rushed over and joined her side. The tanned goat-girl gave the alchemist a good once-over, examening her from ear-tip to tail-tip, before saying something.

"So, uhm, you know where the well is? I just rolled into town today, so i don't really know my way around yet. Went straight here to get signed up, y'know." She stated rather unabashedly. "Oh, name's Brandy. Nice to meet'cha, girlfriend. That potion-thingy you made me swallow sure was somehtin'." She added, before smiling and beginnijng to walk on over to the front door, fully intent on having the puppy follow and show her the way to the local water-drawing pit.
"Myaa-huughgaglrlhlrlglrlhgrl!?"

Such was the noise a panicking satyr made when it was approached from behind, firmly grasped in the paws of a predator and then forced to choke a concoction if unknown origihn. Brandy's arms flailed wildly and her hooved legs tried to kick at anything nearby, which didn't amount to anything, since you can't kick backwards. Still, as soon as she'd been forced to chug the strangely sweet-tasting swill, and let down, the horned goat-girl let out a series of quick breaths, before looking over at the culprit.

"Hey! Don't just go groping people form behind and making 'em drink your admittedly tasty weird liquids!" The girl protested, before looking down at her finger, which was now no longer bleeding or suffering from a cut.

The stayress' tail went upright and stiff, and her mouth went agape with shock and surprised. Bending her hand at multiple angles and spreading her figners to make sure it wasn't an illusion or trick of (the lack of) light, her eyes went wide as saucers and sparkled with childlike wonder.

"Oh. My. Udders. This is totes incredible! I was like, totally bleeding all over the place, but now my finger's as smooth and flawless as the winky of newborn baby-boy." She exlaimed, excitedly, while laughing happily.

Meanwhile, the receptionist was busying herself with having moved all of the sensitive papers from her bloodstained esk to a more secure location, namely her own chair. When the werewolf approached and spoke, offering a means to wash the red lifejuice out of her clothes, as well as other assistance, the tanuki let out a slight sigh. She readjusted her specatcles and gave Alice a small smile.

"Thank you, Miss Keller, but it'll be fine. I've got spare suits at home, and no vital documents were damage." She said, before shooting the satyress, who was busy admiring her own, undamaged fingers, a rather disapporving glance. "However, I'd like you, Miss Vanillarin, to try and excersise more caution in the future." At the mention of her name, the satyr briefly ceased amiring her own digits and turned to look at the tanuki with a quizzical expression.
"But you told me to get my blood on that paper-thingy."
"... Yes, by pricking your finger! Not slicing it!"
"Well how I would know what you mean? I don't even get half the stuff you say, granny."
"G-G-G-G-Gra-!?" The poor office lady-tanuki's voice caught in her throat as she tried to reiterate the word just used to describe her. However, she seemed to be failing.
"Anyway! Potion-gir-ppffffffffftttttt...! Maa-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa~!" Apparently, the satyr had been too preoccupied with herself to notice until now, but the sensation of being contineously brushed, and tickled, by a bristly-furred tail finally managed to make itself known... And it had the expected effect - causing the young satyr to laugh uncontrollably as her eyes watered.

Meanwhile, the receptionist was standing silent and with a face pale as a ghost and eyes that'd shrunk from shock, muttering something inaudible under her breath. It was, at this time, that the door behind the reception desk creaked open, and a voice from beyond the murky, now open, doorway spoke in a dry, deadpan manner.

"Good grief, it sure is noisy out here today." Although it was monotone and void of any emotion, the voice still sounded as if belonged to a plenty young girl. At the sound of said voice, the tanuki somehow regained their senses and spun around, letting out a gasp.
"L-Lady Hall Mistress! I'm terribly sorry, there was a bit of an accident an-"
"Yes... So I heard... Some moron tried to mutilate themselves with your letter opener in order to sign their application form, that about sum it up?"
"W- No! Well, yes. But!"
"It's fine, Karin. You can leave the rest to me. Just, go home and get changed... You look like you tried to eat a tomato and used your suit as a bib."
"Ahah... I see... Well then, I'll just run home and change quickly. Please hold down the fort until I get back, ma'am."
"Yes, yes, off with you now, dear. Nothing's going to change regardless if you're here or not."

The receptionist, named Karin, gave an apologetic farewell to Alice, before quickly jogging out of the building. At this point, most of the other Renta-Experts had vacated the premises as well, either out of fear, confusion or sheer annoyance at the antics that had ensued. The owner of the monotonous voice though, finally stepped from within the murky confines of their office, entering into the building proper.

And, it was a little girl. Well, she looked like a little girl at least.- A little witch-girl, to be exact, complete with cape and a large, wide-brimmed hat. She could've passed for looking precious, were it not for the fact that her face was completely expressionless, her eyes looked blank and dead and she had this creepy, unsettling aura about her. It didn't help that, while standing fully straight, the munchkin only reached up to about the underside of Brandy's bustline. Regardless, the tiny one approached where the newcomer and helpful rookie were standing, not so much as blinking once while approaching.

"So, I take it you're the one who just applied, hm?" The pint-sized withc said, finally stopping next to the two girls and looking at Brandy with those blank, souless eyes... At this point, the satyr had finally managed to seperate herself from the tail and was calming down. At the question though, her ears and tail perked up, she raised her head and gave a confused tilt of the head in response to the person who had just arrived.
"Who're you, lil' girl?"
"I'm your new boss."
"... Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"But you're like... Ten."
"I had my coming-of-age ceremony decades ago, I'll have you know."
"... Seriously?"
"Seriously."

Cicadas.

"Well, uh... Nice to meeth'cha, boss, I guess? I did the whole signing papers and stuff. So, am I member now?" Brandy straightened up her posture and brandished a big, sunny smile. The witch did not seem impressed.
"Oh, yeah. Totally. I love hiring new employees who show up out of the blue, kick down my front door and bleed all over my furniture and staff. "
"For real!? You crazy, girl!"
"I was being facetious."
"Whassat?"
"I see the only parts of you that got any nutrients were your mammaries and butt."
"Ehehe~ Yeah, I know right? No worries though, boss, I'm sure you'll grow some nice peaches when you get a biit older!"
"... I see this won't go anywhere." The witch sighed, deadpan-ly, which was quite a feat to be honest. "Listen up, you. This is a place of business, not a playground. If you're gonna start a ruckus and make a mess, do it outside. For now, you can make your first job cleaning up all of this mess you made."
"Say whaaat? C'mon, don't you have like... A maid, or something?"
"I'm looking at her right now."
"She behind me!?" Quick head-turn to look behind herself.
"No."
"Huh...? Oh. Ohhhh... Ohhhh, boss~ You're such a kidder~ Maa-ha-ha-ha!"
"It wasn't a joke."
"... Seriously?"
"Seriously. Bucket and rags are under the desk, go draw some water from the village well, then get back here and clean up. If you do it before Karin returns, I might not make you sweep and dust off my office as well." The girl turned her eyes away from the outraged satyr, and instead looked to the werewolf next. "And you, rookie. Do you really have time to be lounging around here? I see a billboard with some requests still clinging to it, over there." She pointed toward the large, almost empty wooden surface on the wall behind them all.
"Bu- But, chief! I joined to do those kinds of things too!"
"Clean. Your. Mess." Somehow, with each word said, the witch managed to get closer to the satyress, without actually walking.. Like, she just somehow popped into place, shortening the distance each time.
"Boo! This stinks..." The busty gal said, before walking behind the desk where Karin had been seated previously.

Bending down, she began to search around under the table, the sound of shuffling and clunking being heard. The little witch observed for a moment, before turning her face back to Alice, staring her down with empty, blank eyes as deep as a bottomless pit.

"Since you were so eager to help earlier, why don't you lend a hand, rookie?" The Hall Mistress said, in a not-so-much-a-request-as-a-commanding way.
The Adventure Begins~!
[
Chapter 1: Step through the Door



It was a bright and sunny day! Mostly clear skies, with only a few, small popcorn-like white clouds lazily drifting about above. Birds were chirping, cicadas were chirping, frogs were croaking and other ambient noises that denote peacefulness could be heard far and wide. This was especially true for the sleepy little village of Litroot, located in the southern-ish central heartlands of the continent, in a country (currently) controlled by several noble houses of centaurs. Ironically, Litroot didn't have too many native centaur-residents, but instead had a wide variety of other races and monsters make it most of its population. Well, it was a bit of a backwater-town out in the midst of nowhere, so it wasn't that strange that travellers and foreigners would end up here and settling down, rather than move further into the nation, where the rather serious and strict centaurs practiced their disciplined and rigid lifestyle and traditions.

Still! Litroot wasn't just a speck on the proverbial map. It did have a road leading to and from it, albeit an unpaved dirt road, but a road nontheless! The houses of the village wer emostly made out of small stone bricks, with golden hay-covered roofs giving the place a cozy and homely atmosphere. A few small fields for growing various grains and vegetables were located a bit outside the village proper, and few small pens and coups for things like rabbits and chickens were located next to some of the buildings. The place was no farming community though, not by a long-shot. Most likely, the place made a living by foraging, hunting and mayhaps some fishing in the not-too-distant river. The ample forests and woodlands all around lent itself well to woodcutting and woodworking as well. Given its small size though, this place was n't really an industrial powerhouse, and it was more likely that the villagers worked just to supply and survive themselves, rather than export any meaningful quantities of goods elsewhere for trade or what have you.

But enpugh about the outside and mercantile nature of the place, time to go inside the village proper!

Litroot's roads and paths inside the village were mostly made up out of trampled, hard-packed dirt, but closer to the town center there were a bit of brickwork and stone tiling on the ground. This central area was also where the local market stalls were located, as well as a cooky-looking fountain in the shape of a flexing fish-headed man, spitting a stream of water out of his fishy-mouth, was located. Said fountain was a favorite place for the local kids to play in and around, and subsequently get chased off by angry elders with waving canes, shouting stuff about disrespecting their hometown and what have you. In addition, the town center was also where the village chief's house was located, the only two-storey building (with a tiled roof!) in the entire settlement. It was also where the local G.O.R.E Hall was situated, resting lazily on the west side of the fountain and marketplace.

It wasn't much to look at really, a square-ish structure with the same hay roof as the rest of the village dwellings. A weatherworn plaque hung outretched on a short metal fjust above the main entrance, with the guild's logo displayed. Not much business seemed to be taking place, as there were only a modest, handful of times that the door to the hall opened and closed during an entire day's worth of hours. Most of the time, it wasn't even potential employers who went in and out, but rather the local receptionist and hall mistress, busying themselves with sweeping the ground outside and around their guild hall, wiping off the windows and chekcing the rather depressingly empty mailbox just outside.

The interior wasn't much different from the exterior either. Inside you'd find a few benches along the walls, a billboard with only a few scraps of postings upon it, the reception desk, a few small curtained windows and, of course, a door leading back to the area where the hall mistress had her private office (and/or bedroom). Really, there wasn't much to see or look at, not even a potted plant or painting. The rather pretty tanuki-receptionist looked a bit out of place, with her sharp and fancy-looking business suit and well-crafted glasses - rather clear she wasn't a local. Still, despite the overwhelmingly apparent lack of business and actual work to do, the young lady maintained a pleasant, friendly and professional smile regardless of time of day!

Apart from her, a handful of local, or neighbouring village, Renta-Experts were also present. They didn't seem too concerned with the jobs posted on the board though, instead busying themselves with idle gossip and chatter among themselves, giggling and having a pleasant time doing nothing.

That is, until it happened!

KA-SCHLAM~!

With force enough to make the poor door to the guild hall quiver with undue stress, all heads inside turned to the now open entrance. At first, only a hooved foot, attached to a leg with beige-white fur could be seen, but soon a shadowy silhouette stepped forth, dramatically obsucred by the backlight of the outside. The girls inside covered their mouths cutely with their hands, letting out 'Aah!' and 'Ooohh!' sounds, as if expecting a muscular, manly protagonist who would sweep them off their feet to come barging in, with devillishly good looks and a bad boy-attitude that could only ever mean he was actually a good guy!

... Unfortunately, as the shadowy figure entered the building proper, faces of awe, excitement and anticpation turned to confusion, raised eyebrows and a synchronized chorus of 'Huh?'-noises. For you see! The figure did not belong to a handsome, strikingly fashionable and enigmatic young bachelor, but rather, it belonged to a short-ish statured satyr-girl, dressed in a way that warranted a lot of questioning. Her skirt was too short, her top was too open and her bra seemed too small. She had a huge smile on her face and both hands on her hips, as if she was somehow proud about having just kicked the door in. Healthy tanned skinned, short hair as beige-white as the fur on her legs and forearms, as well as her tiny tail, the young girl strode forth into the locale, with rolling, swaying hips taking her swiftly across the floor and up to the receptionist's desk. The tanuki-lady smiled at the new arrival, albeit her eyebrow somewhat twitched and one could clearly see a vein having formed on the side of one of her temples.

"Why, hello there, miss. May I suggest that you try opening doors with your hands in the future?" The receptionist said, very professionally and calmly.
"Maa-ha-ha~! Sorry about that, I just like kicking things." The young, tanned satyress replied, clearly missing out on the obvious implication of the words.
"Haah... Well, what can I help you with?" The receptionist continued, her business-like facade not buckling an inch!
"Oh yeah! Well, y'see, I wanna sign up and be a GORE-gal!" The girl on the other side of the desk half-shouted, slamming both hands down on the wooden tabletop before her and leaning forward excitedly, which caused her skirt to rise, which in turn caused the other occupants to avert their eyes, with blushing cheeks. Her tail wagged excitedly.
"Oh, I-I see... Well then, I'll need to ask you some questions and you'll have to fill out an application form b-"
"Eeehhhh~? I can't just start straight away?" More leaning forward, more ginormous bewbs and cleavage inching closer to the receptionist's face.
"No, I'm afraid you'll need to go through our screening-process before we can let you take on any guild-work. It's the same for everyone, miss."
"Oh fiiiiiiiine..." The satyress relented, pouting somewhat and returning to simply stand on the other enf of the desk, which caused the tanuki-office lady to let out a breath and sigh of relief.

The skilled and obviously over-qualified receptionist then began to rummage around in her drawers of the workspace and soon produced a sheet of paper, with a bunch of scribblings and script on it. The satyress tilted her head and looked a bit confused, poking at the slip of paper as if it were some kind of alien technology. The receptionist re-adjusted her glasses before proceeding.

"Well then, miss. Please write down your name, age, species and any particularly noteworthy or otherwise mentionable skills you may possess." Tanuki-lady said, gently tapping at the piece of paper.
"Uh... Write... down...?" The satyress replied, looking like she had never even heard of the term before.
"Uhm... Miss, are you perhaps illiterate?"
"Whassat?"
"It means you can't read or write."
"Oh, duh! Of course I can! Mama and Big Sis taught me when I was 'totes tiny. See?" She began to scribble something, using a provided pen.
"Uuhhh... Miss, your handwriting... I... I can't read it..."
"Eh?"
"Also.... I'm not sure, but it looks like you're trying to write in old minotaur runes... The guild needs you to write down your information in the basic common language."
"Bay-sick... come... on?"

Chirping cicadas.

"Ahem! ... Would you like it if I read the form to you, and you just answered verbally?"
"Jeez, stop using those fancy words!"
"I asked if you wanted me to read the questions to you, so you could just answer them and have me write down what you say."
"Well why didn't you say so from the start! Let's do it!" Her ecitement and tension could be cut with a knife.
"Yes... Well, first of all, what's your name, miss?"

The girl let out a 'Hmm-hmm~!'-sound, as if she was about to reveal something truly amazing. With a dramatic twirl and then a sudden, extending and now-pointing-at-the-receptionist hand, the girl showed off her pearly whites and announced in a loud, boisterous tone that was far too over-the-top for the simple question that was asked.

"I'm Brandy Vanillarin! Soon-to-be the adventuring queen!"

More cicadas...

"I... See... Well, how old are you then, Miss Vanillarin?"
"Just turned sweet seventeen!" The girl said, striking a pose with one leg stretched out, arms behind her head and a wink to one eye.
"Uh-huh... And you're a .... Baphomet? Pan?"
"I'm a mino- .... I mean, I'm a satyr!"
"Really? That's quite rare. You don't see many female satyrs."
"Tell me about it! But I guess if a buncha hotties like me were running around, all the other girls wouldn't be able to catch a single boyfriend~" Many annoyed glares from the other girls in the room were now directed at the confident young satyr.
"Eheh... S-sure... Now, do you have any particular skills or talents that you'd like to mention?"
"Mmhm~" She giggled. "Well, obviously I'm a total babe." the receptionist seemed unsure how to respond to this, and as such remained quiet. "But let's see... I'm 'totes used to working out in the fields and junk. I'm super-fast and don't run outta breath, no matter what I'm doing~" She gave a sultry, playful smile with half-closed eyes. Again, the receptionist said nothing. "I do know how to play almost any instrument, and those I dunno how, I can learn in a snap! I can also shake my hips like nobody's business. Oh, and I'm good at getting up high! Like, climbing's been my thing ever since I wasn't wearing diapers any more."
"... That's... an interesting set of skills you have there, Miss Vanillarin." The tanuki-lady's smile was beginning to look a bit strained now. "Unfortunately, I don't think there are too many requests at this guild hall that require those kinds of... talents."
"Aww, really? Well boo." The satyr said in a mock upset tone. "Well whatever, I can do anything, really. So it's no hassle. So, am I in now?"
"... Ah, yes... Well, all we need is for you to read the guild charter and agree to the terms of employment, then put your seal on your documents an-"
"Say what-now?"

Tanuki office-lady sighed, straightened her posture, pulled out a piece of paper and began to read a long, wordy piece of official documentation. The article in question was about the GORE, and how it didn't take responsability for loss of private property, injuries sustained, illnesses contracted or death suffered during the accomplishment of tasks and jobs provided by the guild. It also included things about how payment worked and how free-lancing and taking unofficial requests could and would lead to one getting kicked out of the guild. Basically, a bunch of legal and tehcnical stuff, most of which seemed to fly straight over the young satyress pretty little head.

"And that's it, do you agree to these terms?"
"... Y-Yes?"
"Wonderful. Now please just put your seal on this form and you'll be good."
"My... Seal?"
"Your personal signature, or mark. A stamp to confirm everything we've just written down."
"Oh, okay. So, I just... Like this?" The girl scribbled a small horned smiley-face on one of the corners.
"Uhm... No... We need you to prick a finger and put a bit of blood on it."
"Wai-what!? You want me to cut one of my delicate fingers!?"
"Well, we need some form of proof that you've signed the document, Miss Vanillarin. A blood seal is the most common type of signature."*
"Can't I like, spit at it? Or chew on it? Heck, I could even pe-"
"No! No. No. And no! Don't worry, I'll get you a bandage to put on your finger afterwards. Now here, use this." The receptionist put down a small letter opener on the table between them. The satyr stared at the sharp little tool for a good, long while.
"F-Fine! I just needa do it! Like THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

Slice. Splurt!

"Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!"
"Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!"

It would appear that the satyr was a bit too careless and a bit too forceful, having made a cut that was slightly too deep and slightly too long, causing a large splotch of blood to land on the paper below.... And the desk... And the floor... And the receptionist's previously immaculate suit... Both the girls at the desk were now in a bit of a frenzied panic, with the satyress holding her hand and finger, jittery and wildly turning about while howling somehting about her beauty being diminished, whereas the tanuki receptionist was panicking and trying to look for something to wrap around the self-inflicted injury, while also trying to protect her other paperwork from being soiled by more blood.

It was, in simple terms, quite a mess.
Update: 20/10/18

  • Alice Keller has been added to the Main Cast-section.
  • Brandy Vanillarin has been updated, minor grammar and spelling-errors corrected.
  • The first post of the IC has been added.
  • Karin Mofumofu added to the Guild of Renta-Experts section. See Members: for more details.
Druid Girl focused most of all of her attention on the victimized girl beside her, paying little heed or attention to the surroundings. As Big Red and Steppe Archer milled about, gathering dry branches, sticks and other types and pieces of wood to burn, the nature mage was preoccupied with monitoring and overseeing the red headed survivor's breathing, pulse and general behavior. She was already in much better condition then when they'd found her, but something could till go awry at any moment. Not to mention, who knew how long it'd been since the poor girl had had a drink of water or something to ear? It didn't seem likely that these.... Creatures... would have bothered to take care of their captives in any sort of way at all. That thought in mind, Druid Girl reached into her travel pack and fished around for a bit, before pulling out a small canteen.

Uncorking it, she placed the broken girl's head on her lap and both carefully and slowly began to try and get some fluids back into the poor thing. Sadly, the girl wasn't very receptive, and most of the water ended up either trickling out through the corners of her mouth, or being hoarsely coughed back up. Still, she did get some drink into her, which was better than none at all, supposedly. Still, it was a sad sight to behold indeed. At this pojnt, the druid had also rearranged the pelvic curtain she had thrown over the girl earlier, now having set it so it was more like a tabard, hanging down the girl's front and back, covering up her certain areas that others didn't need to see.

Taking a break from just caring for the girl, she looked up and about, seeing the lizardman and nomad return, pile up and prepare to set their little bonfire alight. Druid Girl wasn't a priestess, nor had she been to many funerals, so the concept of prayer or words of farewell weren't concepts or traditions she were familiar with. She knew you wwre supposed to offer up thoughts to those who had perished, but she knew nothing about any of these young adventurers... Other then that they had probably been similar to herself - wanting to do something meaningful with their lives. A disheartening realization, wasn't it? That to want to do something other than live a life of drudgery could be so fatal... It was almost funny, if it hadn't been so depressingly sad.

Once the pyre was lit and the three who had fallen were on their way to becoming charcoal, Druid Girl laid the battered girl down for a moment. She then stood up, walking over to her allies as they watched the fire burn. She looked at the sight with sad eyes and a frown for a bit, before turning to face the two others.

"Let me know when you're ready to leave. Getting back to the farmstead will take a bit of time, especially in the dark." She stated, a somewhat solemn tone to her voice as she spoke. "I'm not sure we should try and bring all the weapons with us though. Some of them look to be in no real condition to use or even sell."

It was true enough. Most of the goblins' weaponry were in such rouge, unmaintained condition that no merchant in their right mind would actually pay for the item itself. Sure, the metal might have some value to a blacksmith of other craftsmen, but the amount of workable metal you'd get from one of these shoddy pieces were likely to cost you more to re-work and re-shape into somehting useful. Of course, that wasan't quite the case for the tools belonging to the former adventurers, as their gear was still in rather decent condition.

Plus, there was the issue of carrying space. Druid Girl's pack could hold a couple of dagger, sure, but it wasn't like she had a lot of pockets or places to hang the other, bigger items. And if Big Red was going to have to carry the goblinated girl in his arms, he wouldn't exactly have a lot of space or free hands to lug the excess junk around either.

At this point in time though, the mmons above were climbing towards their zenith, the night air was crisp and there was a very slight, gentle breeze to the wooded area the group found themselves in. It was a somber mood and setting, with the red flames of the pyre casting long shadows behind the sparse woodline that surrounded them on all sides, and making the entrance to the former goblin lair look like the gaping maw of a giant beast that lay dormant on the ground.

"Oh, but be sure to cover up the embers with dirt and, if you can spare it, pour some water on it." She added, showing her understandable concern for the well-being of the wildlife and nature around them. With that though, she said a quiet 'Farewell, and may you rest in peace', before returning to their lone survivor's side once more.
Update: 20/10/14

  • Brandy Vanillarin has been updated. See Background: for details and changes.
Update: 20/10/13

  • Brandy Vanillarin has been updated. See Dream/Goal and Racial Abilities: for details and changes.
  • Guild of Renta-Experts has been added to The World-section.
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