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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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@Karos Your writing is decent but your character development is fairly weak. There's nothing unique about your Khajiit that hasn't existed in a hundred other RPs. However, we cannot force you to innovate so you'll have to think up something on your own. Another important issue is that you spent way too much effort on his martial prowess, not character development. I could not see beyond a vengeful killer that refuses to even show his personality. I get that you're excited for external, physical conflicts. However, overcoming one's inner struggle is just as important, if not more. Your character does have some inner struggle, that of helping his family and kin. Still, these are shallow and lack any substance beyond a typical fantasy warrior.

There are other problems I have with your sheet, such as being impossibly powerful for an adept and weaknesses that are exactly what I told you not to have. These problems are not immediate, because you would need a complete re-haul before I consider the finer details.

So, in essence, redo your character. Put less emphasis on combat and more on his personality, struggles and outlooks.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Leidenschaft
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@Karos Your writing is decent but your character development is fairly weak. There's nothing unique about your Khajiit that hasn't existed in a hundread other RPs. However, we cannot force you to innovate so you'll have to think up something on your own. Another important issue is that you spent way too much effort on his martial prowess, not character development. I could not see beyond a vengeful killer that refuses to even show his personality. I get that you're excited for external, physical conflicts. However, overcoming one's inner struggle is just as important, if not more. Your character does have some inner struggle, that of helping his family and kin. Still, these are shallow and lack any substance beyond a typical fantasy warrior.

There are other problems I have with your sheet, such as being impossibly powerful for an adept and weaknesses that are exactly what I told you not to have. These problems are not immediate, because you would need a complete re-haul before I consider the finer details.

So, in essence, redo your character. Put less emphasis on combat and more on his personality, struggles and outlooks.


That expanded a lot on what I wanted to say. Trust me, I started out my roleplaying adventures with a character that could be summed up as "brooding Khajiit Batman" so... you know. Your writing is good, best put it to work writing for a character with a more interesting and believable personality and personal struggles.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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"brooding Khajiit Batman"


CATMAN!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by The Grey Dust
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The Grey Dust The / Grey

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So, if I may ask, what was the verdict?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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So, if I may ask, what was the verdict?


What we discussed on Pad.

-Time travel = No
-Elder Scroll = A; swindled a look from a moth priest and is potentially wanted. B; took part in illegal excavation and is definitely wanted.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by The Grey Dust
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Excellent.

I'm shooting to have the character by Wednesday.
Possibly.
If I'm not suddenly struck by a car or caught in a similar (albeit perhaps more manageabl)e bind.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by OneEyedChurro
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Hey- also interested in joining this. Have a few character ideas, though; I'll have to jump on the pad soon and throw them all out there.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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So guys, I was thinking we should switch from Pad to Skype once everyone finish their sheets. What do y'all say?

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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So guys, I was thinking we should switch from Pad to Skype once everyone finish their sheets. What do y'all say?


Sure. Why not. It'll be a tad easier to communicate that way.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by HHShetland
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So guys, I was thinking we should switch from Pad to Skype once everyone finish their sheets. What do y'all say?


I don't have Skype.

And answering to Frizan's claim, most chats are exactly the same in terms of function, so it really doesn't matter which one we use, as long as we all have access to it... right?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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So guys, I was thinking we should switch from Pad to Skype once everyone finish their sheets. What do y'all say?


Don't have easy access to skype. If we really wanted to then we could just use chatzy
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MacabreFox
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So guys, I was thinking we should switch from Pad to Skype once everyone finish their sheets. What do y'all say?


I don't have skype as well, and I don't see myself getting it, I'm online so much that if anyone sent me a PM, I would most likely see it before the night is through, more like when the day is through.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by OneEyedChurro
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OneEyedChurro Pam Grier's Fro

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Armored, sharpened and raring to go!

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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Orakh


This is some pretty damn good writing, you have my full approval. Just need the 'Schaft and you're set.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Oak7ree
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@Gcold, @Leidenschaft What's your estimate on the RP's start? When does the adventure begin?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Leidenschaft
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Leidenschaft Relax, only half-dead

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<Snipped quote by OneEyedChurro>

This is some pretty damn good writing, you have my full approval. Just need the 'Schaft and you're set.


THE SCHAFT AGREES
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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Frizan Free From This Backwater Hellsite

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Schaft's gonna give it to ya
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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ClocktowerEchos Friendly Neighborhood / Landmine Enthusiast

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THE SCHAFT AGREES


ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SCHAFT \[+]/
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by HHShetland
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THE SCHAFT AGREES


The schaft abides.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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@OneEyedChurro




Here's my own sheet. Unless the Schaft wants to put a stop to it, it is also approved.







Post coming in 2 hours.
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