"You know...that is what I believed for many years. We are the sole owners of our fates to decide our happiness and demise, right? It sounds so...simple, living that type of life. But it is all bullshit! If we are the sole holders of our own fates, then how did the decision of a select few bring such destruction and suffering upon an entire world of people?" Kaye looked off to the side and fell silent for a long time. "As kids, we were all told by our parents the fairy tales of choosing our own fates and living life as happily as we could. When I was a child I believed in those stupid stories. I was going to find my prince charming, move into a big white house with a picket fence surrounding the yard with a dog to run around outside. It is amazing how the innocence of a child can stay in tact even when the world is crumbled apart underneath their feet.
She finally looked up at Basil, glaring slightly. "I didn't have my fairy tale ending and neither does anyone else. That life seized to exist many years ago, even before the bombs fell. Society has been crumbling for a long time because when the childish innocence was taken from them, they realized the only way to make a good place in society is to take it from others. That is simply the laws of nature...taking from others so they may live happily. If I'm not mistaken, I believe that was a lesson taught by...Darwin?" She gave him a haughty smile that said 'I'm not as dumb as I appear.'
She realized she was getting off topic a bit, so decided to get back on track. As she continued her monologue, she turned away from Basil and stared into the glowing embers of the fire. "Bottom line, we are not the heroes of our own stories, because there will always be someone to come along to steal that life away from us, if you have what they desire. We are all the victims and martyrs for others and that is all we ever will be. If our lives suck, then it isn't of our own making. That was simply the bed that we were made and we have to lie in the consequences of others actions." Her thoughts were whirling in a tornado and she didn't even realize she wasn't really talking to Basil, anymore.
"I know you don't really know me and don't really care to know more than you have to, but I am not speaking out of pessimism...this is the hard truth that I had to learn myself, you see? While I was working on my fairy-tale ending, it was stolen from me in a split second, taken away in a flash of light and a small wisp of smoke. If you take nothing from this conversation but one thing, just remember this... It takes a lifetime to make something of your life...but only a short moment to destroy it all."
Kaye blinked her eyes and looked away from the light, allowing her eyes to adjust once more to the pitch blackness before standing up. She looked over at Basil with a stern gaze. "I may be naïve, immature, and childish in your eyes, but this is what I have left. My insanity is the only thing that keeps me sane nowadays. And I'll be damned if I let you stand there judging me like you actually have a clue...because you don't. You know nothing of the ways of the real world and are living in the clouds of your fantasies, thinking you're going to be a hero of sorts. Let me ask you something...
"Do you know what makes a hero, Basil?" She paused a moment to allow him to think on his answer. "Death. A person who dies fighting for a hopeless cause. Do you believe finding this G.E.C.K. is really going to make a difference? You think you'll go back home to everyone cheering your name and parading you around on their shoulders through town? Take it from someone who has lived it...it's a dream. And if you don't wake up...you really are going to get that hero title after all. Or lead your friend to his own death trying to make you happy."
Though forced, she gave Basil a small smile. "You may not want to believe it and remain oblivious to his affections, but that idiot really does care for you. And if the situation presents itself..." an involuntary tear scarred a path down her cheek, making her quickly look away, "he will not hesitate to die in your place, protecting you.
A long silence fell over Kaye after that as she fell deep into her own thoughts. Never before had she given such a speech, but the words spilled effortlessly out of her mouth as if she'd recited the words a million times. It was definitely uncharacteristic of her, but they were thoughts that had been pinned up for a long time; she just didn't have a situation to present itself where it might even be remotely relevant. If she had said such words to Leith, he probably would have only shrugged it off and told her to lay off the chems. The honest truth of the matter was, though, despite being on chems at this moment, her mind was clearer than it had been in awhile. Perhaps it was that nudge from Basil's harsh words that made the gears start in her brain turning again, but she couldn't say for certain. Had she even said all those words aloud, she thought? She couldn't have been for certain, but as she took in Basil's expression, she knew he had definitely heard the words.
Jace stared at the ghoul, a little bewildered that he'd said 'no' to his offer. What the hell did the ghoul expect to happen when he follows him and starts insulting him in this manner? His blood was boiling in his veins by this point and felt like his skin was going to melt away if he didn't release some of the pent-up anger he felt right now.
"Fuck that. I said fight me!" He wound his arm back and punched him in the gut, expecting him to at least block the obvious attack but he just stood rooted to the spot. "I can go at this all night until you pick up your fist and actually do something with your life, you coward! Fucking...roach-face!"
