TIMESTAMP â Immediately After Ainât No Thing, Just Everything
FT â Mordechai Boaz, Allegra Cardenas, and Lacey Cernis
FT â Mordechai Boaz, Allegra Cardenas, and Lacey Cernis
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âYouâve been cryinâ again.â
âShut up anâ drink your coffee, Legs, we gotta head ta the Edge soon,â Mordechai deflected, dropping his bag and switching out the cup in his hand with the baby Chai in Allegraâs. Eyebrow raised, Allegra met his stubborn stare with her own steady one, taking a loud sip of her delicious drink to wordlessly tell him she was more than willing and able to wait him out. She knew a lot about Mordechaiâs relationship with the warm and welcoming gentleman that ran the townâs cafe. Like most people in this town, sheâd met the man mentally long before she first set foot in Edenridge because Mordechai couldnât stop telling stories about him once you got him started. It had led to a very blunt conversation between the two as Allegra made him confront his feelings once more.
It had been a long one in the end, because to Mordechai the idea of having an adult that was safe enough to help him was one thing, heâd been forced to confront that with Phil and the Serpent parents when he was younger. However the idea that he actually trusted these adults as parental figures didnât seem to compute, even with Beau coming in and basically fostering him and Danny in his home for a few months. Sheâd had to relate Mordechaiâs experience to that of his friends adopted by the Dawsons, and even then she basically had to take his hands and help him put two and two together. Allegra was no shining star of peak mental health herself, but the damage Mordechaiâs DNA donors did to his psyche- let alone his body- was absolutely enraging. If she ever saw Alana Boaz in town, the woman wouldnât leave with her face intact at the least.
Mordechai finally relented and looked away first, bouncing lightly back and forth with Chai supported against his chest. âI said he was a dad ta us and I cried into his shoulder, aâight? Happy?â
âEcstatic,â Allegra deadpanned before grinning at him. âWay to use your words, Ken Doll, couldnât be more proud.â
âRight,â Mordechai replied with a roll of his eyes, taking a seat on the couch and looking around for his other child. âWhereâs Viva?â
âNappinâ. This little fucker didnât want to for some reason so weâve been up scrollinâ through channels.â
âIâve been told Disney is a good one, or their movies at least,â Mordechai offered, mind straying to the Scott Street car ride and his conversation with Carrie. âItâs for kids, too.â
âWhat, ya mean I shouldnât have been showinâ him Dexter?â Allegra mock gasped, going so far as to put her hand in front of her mouth as it formed a perfectly surprised âOâ.
âLook, Iâm tryinâ-â
âMORDECHAI ARE YOU FUCKING IN THERE? I GOT A BONE TO PICK!â
There were two loud slams on the James' front door.
âI already know Sly and Vicky ainât there, and your Popcorn girl lives next door or some shit but first of all, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?â
The streetwalkers exchanged wide eyed glances with each other at the sudden noise, Allegra silently questioning the other if he was going to open the door before the banshee on the other side broke it down. When his look first indicated a negative, Allegra grabbed Chai from Mordechaiâs hold and took a few pointed steps in the opposite direction of the door before turning around to glare fully at him when Viva started crying in the next room. As if it would help him instead of make things worse, Mordechai took a few dreaded seconds to try and compose himself before he had to face Lacey fucking Cernis.
What the hell was she doing here? Why was she picking her bone now?
âOh,â Allegraâs equally irritated and amused voice carried over, appearing back in the room with a tired Viva and crying on her hip opposite Chai just as another round of slams sounded from the door. âThis is how ya reacted with Badger,â He turned around to catch her vindictive grin, returning it with a look that very clearly said Iâm tired of your shit. âThis is another sibling-type, ainât it?â
â...â Mordechai let his glare hang between the two in silence for a moment before realizing it would do nothing to sway Allegra, especially when he was in trouble for getting Viva woken up. âItâs Sunshineâs sister, Lacey.â
âWell?â She asked, raising an eyebrow when Mordechaiâs next face very clearly said what? Make me. âAnswer the fuckinâ door, Ken Doll, donât ya ever learn your fuckinâ lessons?â
âFuck you,â Was his eloquent reply. Allegra flipped him off while he dropped a hand onto the doorknob and took a deep breath before opening it and coming face to face with the woman that raised one of his soulmates.
â...Hi, LaceâŠâ
âThis is why you get punched when people visit!â Allegra called from the couch, allowing herself and her children to be known to the woman now visible on the front step. Mordechai steadfastly ignored her while maintaining eye contact with his older sister figure.
Glancing past Decky to see the model and children, surprised that there were outsiders in the James house but not surprised this fucker had another lover, Lacey took a moment to take in the sight of the woman before her fiery glare met with his. âHi, Lace? HI, LACE?!â The older woman hissed, venom from the more seasoned serpent oozing out of her. âTHATâS HOW WEâRE GOING TO GREET THE PERSON WHO WATCHED YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS IN THE PLAYGROUND AND HAD TO CLEAN YOU UP?!â She pushed forward, using her indomitable will to force Decky back without laying a finger on him.
âOh shit,â Allegra laughed breathily as she watched the leggy brunette manhandle Mordechai like a pro, making no move to help him as she stayed on the couch settling Viva and Chai. The baby boy was now the one crying from the stimulation in his environment while Viva slowly wiped tears off her splotchy cheeks and watched the intruder with wide, curious eyes.
âYa know Iâm not good with greetinâs, Lace,â Mordechai pleaded, hands up in front of him in defense while he leaned back from the woman whose fist was now twisting the collar of his shirt into a handle for her to throttle, no longer able to meet her eyes.
âDumbass move, practically a foul,â Allegra refereed from the couch, excited to see more of Mordechaiâs family in action.
âShut up Legs, I sw-â
Taking a deeper look at the children, and seeing the boy that looked just like Danny, Lacey bit her tongue, her grip tightening around her friendâs collar. With her head, she gestured to the little boy, âHe yourâs?â There was a hint of disbelief in her voice as she came to the discovery that she and her brother were left out of this milestone for this boy they both loved dearly, far too much for their own good. âAnd you and her. You two a thing? Fucking? Loving?â The shock was starting to set in as she started to see why exactly her brother was hurt. There was so much lost time between them and who knows when any of them would die. Mordechai forgot who his family was. And that hurt like a bitch.
âHey, whoa, no- I mean yeah heâs mine but weâre not- sheâs not-â Mordechai suddenly started trying to get his shirt free from Laceyâs grasp, a hint of panic lighting up his movement as he tried to explain two years in the two seconds before Lacey came to her own conclusion. â-it wasnât intentional, the cops took my fuckinâ bike and then I ended up in New York an-â What was Lacey thinking? What was forming in her mind and how much hurt and anger was it causing her?
Heâd only kept in touch with Nolan because heâd messaged him while fucked up asking about him and Lanie like he hadnât burned those bridges, and when Nolan reached out back he realized how much the other boy needed someone too. Mordechai only met Mika these past two years because the man literally found and busted in on his home just like Lacey was doing to him now, but that didnât stop the fact that he hadnât cut himself off completely from Edenridge like heâd illusioned himself into believing while excusing his benders and lack of care for his life.
Brownsville had tried to change that, but he was still so stuck in his own self destruction at the time that the only times he allowed himself to think of home was when Allegra demanded stories and anecdotes. Heâd abandoned so much family here. Lacey had by all accounts been the Boaz brothersâ first ever authority figure. Before even Phil, Rey Rey, and Beau had become solidified as providers in his worldview, Lacey Cernis had seen two broken boys that had gained the absolute attention of her otherwise mute and empty eyed brother and decided she would do what she could to raise them, too. It had been her intense coaxing and coaching that had Sonny ready to talk and introduce himself the day he and Mordechai finally met in person at age five for kindergarten, and later the reason for such a foul mouth as heâd learned to speak from her, though she would never admit it.
âIâm sorry,â he whispered, hands still shakily trying to find a weak point in her grasp as if on autopilot, feeling choked despite the fact that she wasnât impeding his air. âI couldnât come back, but I shouldâa stayed in contact.â
âBullshit,â she released Decky furiously, and ran both her hands through her hair. âBullshit, Mordechai. Sonny might think you fucked off, running away from us but I saw Dannyâs grave. Donât play fucking dumb with me. Thereâs no fucking way youâre lying to my goddamn face right now.â She needed to calm down. All of this was crashing in like a tidal wave and she could feel every part of her body shaking. âEvery birthday, every Hanukkah, even the day he died, you know who went to visit him? Me. And I saw what you did. Donât play fucking dumb with me, you know I canât stand liars.â She walked past him to take a seat in the kitchen. Leaning forward, she grasped her hands, holding them tightly, and bounced her right leg up and down, deep in thought. âWhen are you going to realize youâre not fucking alone and you never were?â
Mordechai took the time that Lacey looked away to send a look that conveyed his confusion and alarm to Allegra, who was no longer smiling at the scene before her. âViva,â the young mother said to her child, the little girl looking up to her mother expectantly. âThatâs your auntie Lacey, she needs a hug, show her how good ya are at âem.â The girlâs head swiveled between her mother and the woman in the kitchen while she gave her direction, sliding her way off the couch and stumbling her way over until she smacked into the new womanâs legs. Leaning against them, she extended her arms up towards Lacey expectantly, pudgy fingers clenching and unclenching in a grabby gesture while she stared Lacey down with her big brown eyes.
Loosening herself to look at the little girl, Laceyâs demeanor softened but instead of grabbing the child, she asked, âDo you want to hug me?â She let her question sit in the air, before adding, âI donât want you to hug me if itâs not what you want, okay? So letâs start with this first,â the stranger got up and knelt down, bringing herself more to the childâs level (to the best she could). She offered her hand for a handshake, if the child was willing to take it, or even understood the gesture, âMy name is Lacey. Whatâs yourâs?â
Viva dropped her arms from their extended position with a bit of confusion, staring at Laceyâs hand like she was unsure what to do with it. Did she want to hug her? Of course she did! Hugs felt so good, and they made booboos and sad things feel better. Suddenly remembering the adult had asked her a question and bringing up the manners her mama taught her, she grabbed as much of Laceyâs hand as she could and shook it up and down happily with both of hers. Allegra, for her part, was watching the interaction like a hawk despite her calm demeanor, ready to intervene if anything were to go wrong.
âIâm Viva Gavwiel Cawdenas Boaz! Nice ta meetâcha!â She said dutifully, the name falling out of her mouth for the second time in as many days. Unlike the previous morning, Mordechai didnât react at all, thoughts spinning as he tried to piece together what Lacey had said.
âA very pretty name. Itâs very nice to meet you, Viva,â Lacey gently held onto the little girlâs hand. When Viva released it, the older woman continued, her voice no longer loud like she was when she barged into Mordechaiâs new humble abode, âIâm someone who has been in your daddyâs life for a very long time and I want you to know, when youâre ready, we can hug. But Iâd like you to get to know me first, if thatâs alright with you? LikeâŠ. One thing I love to do is play with yo-yos. Do you know what a yo-yo is?â She asked curiously, guiding the child in the conversation but allowing her to be the conductor and take the lead if she wanted to.
Viva nodded her head vigorously, excitement lighting up her features. âPapaâs good at yo-yo!â she expressed, her words pulling Mordechai out of his thoughts and back to the conversation at hand. She began to stumble through her story about when her papa showed her a bunch of tricks. The reality was that he was extremely rusty since his time learning it under the very woman who sat in the kitchen- the one that taught damn near all of them when they were younger- and he only showed her like three tricks, just over and over again. The wonder of childish eyes. As much as he wanted to let his daughter have this moment, let Lacey have this moment, he couldnât let go of what she had said, so when Viva finished her story, he finally interrupted.
âLace, whyâd ya think Iâve been cominâ back?â he asked, brow furrowing. âWhy did Dannyâs grave make ya think Iâve been back? That donât make sense.â
Shooting a quick glare at Decky, she returned her gaze to the child and smiled, âMaybe later I can teach you some tricks. For now, go back to your mother but before you go, you can take this with you.â From out of her military green button up jacket she took out a LED yoyo. Putting distance between her and the child, Lacey stood up and did a finger spin sidewinder trick. It began with a horizontal pinwheel throw; she did that a few times before popping the yo-yo up and landing it on her index finger (on her non-throw hand). The yo-yo spun on her index finger like one would do with a basketball and just when the yo-yo was about to dive, she lacerated into the center of the string causing the yo-yo to bind. While the strings spun around the yo-yo, her throw hand hovered over it, which caused the yo-yo to do a side winding movement. In seconds the yo-yo was fully fastened and back in her hand. She handed it to the little girl.
Viva giggled giddily at the trick, clapping her hands excitedly before gasping as Lacey handed the yo-yo over to her. Unsure about accepting the gift, Viva turned to look back at her mother with wide eyes, prompting the young woman to smile and reassure her daughter.
âGo ahead bubbe, and donât forget your manners.â
Viva spun back around to Laceyâs outstretched hand and enthusiastically received the toy from the older woman, shouting, âThank ya vewy much!â before grinning widely at the brunette and running back over to her mom and baby brother, the latter of which had dozed off once the noise level had dropped. Allegra helped Viva up onto the couch while still paying attention to the tense scene in the kitchen.
âThereâs not many jews in this town, Trouble,â Lacey crossed her arms, standing in a tall, intimidating way, dropping her nickname for the boy since he was little, for the first time since they were united. âSo youâre telling me, I find out youâve been âofficiallyâ here for a month and you âhavenâtâ visited your brotherâs grave? I find that very hard to fucking believe. Thereâs no way the Khourys would visit him and the only other person who would, goes with me when I do. Are you seriously playing this game right now?â
âThereâs no game, Lace, I visited when I got back but I was wasted ta shit, Badger had ta practically carry me out,â Mordechai admitted. âBut youâre actinâ like Iâve been cominâ back this whole time and lyinâ about it and that ainât true,â the frown became more pronounced as he thought back to what little he could remember of that day before he wasted the rest of it passed out on Mary-Anne Oâharaâs couch. Heâd started drinking before he ever set foot on Liberty Road, let alone through the gates of the cemetery that resided there. Heâd been focused on the quote he could barely keep his gaze straight enough to see, but even through the drunken haze he remembers how much the quote had smacked him in the face.
âI must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.â -Lemony Snicket
Heâd remembered precariously dropping down and placing his back to the headstone while he unloaded all his guilt and shame onto Danny while the rough surface scratched at his back and shoulders. He remembers that it was one of the most uncomfortable places to be unable to get up from, but he had chalked that up to his physical and metal state at the time.
Now it made him feel like he was missing something, like he always was. His brain was struggling to fit together the puzzle pieces with such blurred images as his base, but Laceyâs words were instilling a fearful curiosity in him that he couldnât fully comprehend.
âWhat did ya see that made ya think it was me, or at least a jew? I donât fuckinâ know whatâs goinâ on and I canât figure it out with what I got.â
It was at this point that Lacey was beginning to believe him. The look he was giving was terribly dumbfounded. This only caused the sadness to be more visible on her face when she realized Sonny was right and Decky really did just leave them and never looked back. That is until recent days. âYou got to be fucking kidding me,â she whispered taking out her phone and opening it to her camera roll. It didnât take a rocket scientist to understand the implications of Dannyâs grave now. The question Mordechai had been asking all his life was true. Somewhere, likely in Massachusetts, he had a family. Not like her and her boys. Not his chosen family. And she doubted it was his despicable parents. No, somewhere in this fucked up world, he had a real blood family that loved him enough to put so many rocks around his little brotherâs grave and keep coming, lurking in the shadows, watching him but not once interacting with him. She didnât say anything more, instead she tossed her phone to him and took a seat back down, waiting for his devastating response.
Mordechai caught the phone on instinct, eyes more focused on the way Lacey seemed to deflate into the chair like she was expecting another emotional punch directly to the solar plexus and was getting a head start on crumpling over. Trepidation lining his posture, Mordechai turned the phone towards him and blanked out as he tried to comprehend what was staring him in the face, the screen brightness all the way up so there was no mistaking it.
Rocks and pebbles lined the top of Dannyâs gravestone, over a dozen of them painted with care or weathered with age, but just as many were blank yet carefully placed. There were different snakes on some of them, interspersed with little drums, which the man assumed were Zionâs personal touches, while others had musical notes and comic book onomatopoeias, a surefire tell of Ryeâs hand. Closest to Ryeâs were rocks with tells of the other Phillips-Shomerâs predilections or just a handful of the smaller unpainted pebbles to show theyâd been there.
These all made sense. What didnât make sense were the larger rocks placed around the headstoneâs base, each one surrounded by smaller ones done in the same style, half embedded into the grass. Birds. There were lots of birds in the first one; he noticed a cardinal, a blue jay, a robin and an owl on some of the larger ones, the smaller ones containing pigeons, doves, and ducks. He followed them to the next grouping of rocks that seemed more focused on scenery and destinations. The aurora lights shine from the largest rock with such detail it looked like a picture, a snowy mountain range shared size with what was a surprisingly intricate field of flowers for such a small canvas. Giant redwoods covered another scenic rock while the sun sat above soft white clouds on yet another, a trail of birds- unlike the first set- in front of the bright orb drawing his eye directly to the next distinct style and grouping. A treasure map trail dotted across a painted brown background before ending at a large red X, and on the next was a magnifying glass that hovered over a bright eye against a dark background. The largest one of this batch was a carefully detailed star map, each dot of a star dedicatedly placed and each constellation gently lined. The final grouping of rocks were an almost dystopian mix of mechanics and nature, the main focus being a motorcycle covered in vines and moss, flowers bursting wildly from the headlight. A smaller one had a cute little broken down robot with his hand extended to the lightsource, a small fluffy animal that Mordechai couldnât distinguish from the photo nestled up against the machineâs rusted tracks.
All of them were beautiful and each grouping showed unmistakably separate interests and personalities. None of which Mordechai could connect to the people he knows that would understand the depth and meaning of leaving rocks on a jewish grave.
âWhatâŠI-â Mordechaiâs words came out in a strangled whisper as he tried to express to the room the absolute chaos now tearing its way through his head. Those rocks werenât some fair weather visitor seeing a trend and joining in, they were intricate and well maintained along with the rest of Dannyâs plot. They were remnants of people who cared enough to dedicate time and effort into painting a bit of themselves onto something permanent that would become part of the plot and indicate I was here, I was here for you and I leave a constant reminder. Flowers were ephemeral, they grow and wilt and die just like human beings do. Leaving a rock on a grave during your visit means that the love you place and leave upon your lost oneâs final resting place will continue to last long after even you too have passed, much as your love for the deceased had already weathered their loss and persevered.
âIâŠI got blood?â Mordechai finally tore his eyes away from Laceyâs phone, looking distraughtly over to the woman and finally understanding why sheâd dropped like a puppet with her strings cut. He missed Allegra getting up and slowly walking over to him, gently taking the phone from his shaking grasp before he dropped and shattered it. She respectfully kept her eyes off the screen and locked the phone before walking it over to the silent woman in the kitchen and setting it quietly on the table in front of her. âThatâs what that means, right? That- that was four sets, I didnât have any blood and now there's four people out there?â Mordechaiâs chest began to rise and fall quicker the more he said and realized. âAnd they know about Danny? About me?â
âApparently,â Lacey grabbed her phone and forcibly pocketed it in her jacket. âI donât fucking know. I really donât fucking know but I guess the only way to find out,â she stood up, not shedding a single tear even though she probably should and gave Legs a quick glance over before entering the living room. Going to the entertainment center, she grabbed a portrait off a shelf and made her way to Mordechai, âWhenever you come back from whatever you need to do, Iâm assuming youâre heading to the Edge because itâs about damn time you showed your face there, start with the people you know.â
She handed Decky a portrait of the family that owned the house. Victoria had her arms wrapped around pre-teen Maxine, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head. Sly held onto the hip of his wife with one hand and kept his youngest daughter close to his side with the other. Penelope wasnât looking at the camera, she was following something in the sky and twirling a dark item in between her fingers. A black feather if you take a closer look. A ravenâs feather. âTheyâve got to know about your parents, Trouble. I bet this whole neighborhood knows about your family but theyâre keeping quiet. Why?â
When he took the picture frame from her, she placed her hands on his shoulders, pressed her forehead against his and desperately squeezed him, âYou ever disappear again like that, Iâm going to hunt you down and kill you, you fucking hear me? I will make it so painful, you wished you never ran from your family like that ever again. Blood or no blood. Donât EVER fucking run away again. We need you, you stupid idiot. We need youâŠâ her voice cracked and there was a sudden build up in her eyes. âSay it. Say youâre not going to leave us.â
âIâŠâ Mordechaiâs mind was swarming, and the feeling of being so lost was reaching up from within him, taunting at swallowing him whole as it had for the entirety of his life. Laceyâs connection at their foreheads provided him the grasp on reality that he needed to keep his head out of the darkness, and he focused his suddenly glossy eyes with her own as he registered what she said to him.
The Jamesâ, Sly and Vicki, they would know about his parents, about the family they kept from him? Heâd never even thought to ask. You didnât ask an adult about vulnerable things, it was a lesson that had literally been burned into him with all the others, so he had never asked. In his mind, his parents were only children and all his grandparents were dead, that was the portrait that had been painted for him early on and he had never thought to ask that it be tested as a fake. Were they his parentsâ ages? He didnât even know how old they were, the only reason he knew their names was because he and Danny werenât allowed to call them mom and dad within hearing range. The only reason they knew their last name was because of school forms.
Mordechai had to rebuild his legal identity as a teenager with no access to his original information. The Serpents had helped fast track some of the papers, but it was one of the times that Mordechai had understood how his parents were crippling them from existing in common society, setting them up for failure and going so far as to not keep any of their identification. Trying to erase them from the world without killing them. It was one of the reasons the whole emancipation process and moving out of the serpent dorm had taken so long, paid dues aside.
But Edenridge knew his parents. The town his roots always seemed to die in when he tried to plant them, yet he wasnât fit for any other soil, this town was actually cutting his roots off. Why? What had he and Danny done to be so bereft of familial identity? What sins of their parents were they forever paying for? Why had the town agreed to such a silence and robbing in the first place? The southside had agreed to communally purge all mention of the Boazâs, and whatever the name of their maternal side was. This was some sick joke. It had to be some sick joke, right?
This cursed fucking townâŠ
âIâm not goinâ anywhere, Lace,â Mordechai rasped through his tightening throat. He felt sick, and scared, and lost aside from the Laceyâs grip on him like the life preserver sheâd always been. âIâm not gonna leave ya again.â
Their foreheads touching turned into Lacey pressing her lips on it, showing him that for as long as this world would let her, sheâd be there for him. Pulling away, she quickly pinched his ear to bring him back from his dark place. During this period, she swallowed her tears, her heart hardening even more. âOkay fucker. I know these truths hurt like a bitch but itâs time to armor up and fight. Stop waiting on others to give you what you want. This is your truth, yeah? Finding your roots is important to you, yeah? Chase it. Chase it until you canât chase it no more and stop being a little bitch.â
When she felt satisfied with her spiel, Lacey threw her arm around him, walking him with her to their next destination. That being Allegra. âHey beautiful, sorry for that mushy scene. Itâs good to see this idiot has someone looking out for him. Lacey. Lacey Cernis. Iâm damn surprised he was able to find someone as fine as you. I hope he treats you right. If not, Iâm just a call away. If you need someone to⊠show you around. Iâm your girl,â she smirked, giving a playful wink; her mood drastically changing. It was almost concerning how quickly Lacey made the switch from familial interrogation to flirting. How quick she was able to compartmentalize.
Allegra had turned her head back from watching her children just in time for the two southieâs approach, a mischievous grin passing over her face when she heard Laceyâs proper introduction. She was well aware of the coping mechanism the other woman had just employed, and she was more than willing to play along. She made sure the other woman saw her taking a long look at her from head to toe.
âOh, Iâll take ya up on that as soon as possible,â She looked at Lacey with the doe-eyed look that got her nicknamed Bambi. âIâm thinkinâ I need the full-town tour, start at the park, end at your bed?â
âThatâs not the full tow-OWN-â Mordechai ripped himself from Laceyâs grasp while trying to avoid another quick shot in the side from Allegraâs fingers, sufficiently distracted from the previous emotional turmoil. âItâs not, itâs a straight shot down Carlisle an-â
âAre you gatekeepinâ my flirtinâ? Listen here you emotionally unbalanced little shit,â Allegra cut in, a playful warning glare making his mouth click shut. While her comment had mostly been to lighten the mood and allow Laceyâs change of topic to truly take hold, it had also most definitely been an invitation. âYa got dick the minute ya walked back into town, my dance cardâs been empty for over two months, and your big sister is hot as fuck and looks like she could absolutely take me apart in the sheets-â
âJesus fuckinâ-â
âShe isnât wrong,â Lacey shrugged in agreement.
âSo let me have my moment, ya already had yours.â
âFine!â Mordechai replied in exasperation, hands flying up in the air. âFuck my friends, fuck my family, at least youâre goinâ after Lace and not-â
âNot Sonny?â Allegra teased laughing as he closed his mouth and glared at her. âYour little sunshine? Baby that boy can light your life up like a menorah for all I care, Iâm lookinâ ta be lit up like times square-â
âOK! Ok I ainât gotta hear any more, and I know ya got more. Fuck. Yâall got like five minutes ta mingle before we gotta get ta the edge,â Mordechai relented with a grimace, trying to get the mental image of his sister figure and his baby momma out of his head. He dragged his hands down his face and tilted his head to look away from the two women whoâs flirting was causing him mental damage. Viva stared back from her seat on the couch, head tilted to the side before her eyes slid to look at her smiling mother. âWait, whoâs watchinâ the kids?â
âOh shit,â Allegra blinked, âI was gonna ask Poppy but she didnât come back with ya,â Her attention immediately went back to her kids and she went back over to the couch to pick up a sleeping Chai, the baby boy groggily opening his eyes to greet his mother as he woke. When she got back to the adults in the room, Allegra gave one long look to each of them, raising her eyebrow at Mordechai in question. He followed her wordless query and gave a raised eyebrow back, eyes flicking over to Lacey before going back to her. Allegra nodded and he gave Allegra a nod in response. Smiling, satisfied, she turned to Lacey and lifted her arms so Chai was close to her while not leaving the safety of his motherâs hold.
âDâya babysit?â
âAll my fucking life,â Lacey gestured with a nod toward Mordechai. âThis donât come free though. If you get this loser to fix his shit with my brother, thatâll give us some space here to âtalkâ about the town. Yâknow, before I show you around.â Taking a step closer to Allegra, Lacey stroked her cheek with the back of hand, before looking at Chai, âThat is if you trust me enough with your kids. We did just meet.â The older woman looked at Chai with veiled sadness and deep adoration. For a moment, the love she had for the Boaz boys was written all over her face as she looked at a ghost. As she looked at the face of Danny.
Shit, this baby really did look like him, it was scary.
âNah,â Allegra replied quietly, cheek tingling from the gentle contact and face softening as she read Laceyâs. âIâve known ya through stories from a man that ya raised, Iâm just lookinâ to learn ya myself now. These kids are his responsibility too, and he wouldnât okay it without havinâ complete faith in ya,â She looked over to her Ken Doll, and the man was looking away with an embarrassed blush burning at his cheeks. âIâm sure you're aware that heâs still in the learninâ stage of speakinâ his emotions, but heâs an easy read once ya get to know him.â
She lifted Chai to her once more, offering the new aunt a chance to hold the new life born off of one they lost. It was her choice whether or not to take him, but her eyes showed so much longing and pain that Allegra knew for a fact she at least wanted to.
And Allegra was right.
With full permission to grab the baby, from both mother and father, Lacey eased her way to him, gently taking Chai away from his mother. Her finger grazed the other womanâs, and with that simple touch, electricity went in her skin, streaming through her body, causing her to grin in excitement. Mordechai did find himself a hot babyâs mama. And soon sheâd get a taste. Yum. Sharing is caring, after all.
Locking her eyes with Allegraâs, Lacey thanked her silently for trusting her with her life. To Lacey, children were the future and the reason why most parents even get up in the morning. Thatâs how she felt with all those sheâs ever raised, especially Sonny and Zion. Those two were her life and without them, she would be lost. Holding Chai close, Lacey leaned her cheek against the babyâs head as he rested himself on his auntâs shoulder. âYou two should get going, I got some cartoons to watch.â Swaying herself, embracing Chai protectively, she followed up, before letting them go, âAllergies? Meds? What they can and canât do? Favorite toys? Things theyâre scared of?â She shot glances at both parents, not caring who answered. As she waited for a response, she made her way to Viva who was sleepily lying on the couch and joined her.
"Viva just has seasonal allergies," Allegra answered dutifully, the way the woman treated her children already lighting a flame of affection in her guarded heart. "Baby benadryl is in the bathroom upstairs that connects the bedrooms."
"Viva likes to climb, if she goes for anythin' just make sure it's stable first, but we don't stop her unless it's dangerous," Mordechai added. "She will try ta take ya down from the top rope if ya let her get onto the back of the couch."
"Oh yeah, beware of flyin' toddlers that wrestle with a Boa and a Badger," Allegra laughed while playing off on Decky's warning. "Chai's not very fast at movin' around on his own yet so ya ain't gotta worry about him much."
"Don't show anythin' with clowns," Mordechai finished his bit, thinking of his daughter's phobia of unknown origin. Clowns just freaked her the fuck out. He wanted to recommend that Lacey find something Disney, but he honestly wanted to start that tradition himself and make lasting memories of time with his kids. "Chai gets excited if he sees animals, if ya can do anything with that."
"No sugar past seven, bedtime is eight, but at least one of us should be back by then," Allegra finished, grabbing the light brown jacket off the coat rack by the door and throwing it on. "Other than that, go wild."
âGot it,â Lacey was turned away from them with the remote in hand, looking through what was on Netflix. She held one baby on her lap and the other leaned on her. Briefly placing the remote down, she pulled the throw blanket on them all. As she stared at the television, she remembered something, âOh, Mordechai, since youâre probably tired of surprises Iâm going to give you one more. Conan is with your brother. It was a group decision that we wished you were part of. Just thought you should know.â
It was like Badger giving him a right hook, no holds barred.
Conan's with your brother.
God, he didn't need this now. He thought the serious parts of the conversation were over. Little Conan had finally been laid to rest with Danny, his ashes no longer sitting in the Dawson house, but in an ash plot on Danny's grave. The best friends were finally back together and always would be. It explained why Zion's grouping of rocks had drums and crossed drumsticks as well. He thought Zion was maybe doing it on Conan's behalf, but he was actually leaving them for the boy, now that he finally had a spot where you could lay your respects.
Little Conan used to follow him around right alongside Danny when the boy wasn't hanging out with his own big brother, seemingly enamored with Decky, or maybe Decky and Dannyâs dynamic. Danny and Conan had bonded over traumas much in the way Mordechai and Sonny had, the way Mordechai and Chase had before little Conan was lost to them and being a big brother trying to raise the younger was no longer a shared concept. Because of the timing of Conan's death, Decky had already mostly made his move Northside, and Chase wasn't the type to come knocking on Decky's door for support any more than Decky was one to assume someone would want him to help them through new traumas. Heâd never been the poster child for good advice or wise words, or even comfort.
Mordechai at the time still had his little brother, and had focused on the grieving Danny over Chase. He had a feeling it was the fatal mistake to their friendship, and that seeing Decky and Danny interact after the loss of his own parallel was too much for him in the first place. But still, it looks like Crazy Train finally found his forever destination, and it was perfect.
She was right though, he was tired of surprises, but now he was just downright drained and exhausted.
"I wish I had been there too, but for what it's worth it was the right choice," he finally got out around the knot in his throat. "They always wanted ta be together forever. Platonic soulmates if I ever saw 'em."
âWould be nice,â Lacey muttered, not finishing her thought out loud. She hoped she died before Sunshine. She hoped she died before Zion. Thatâs how things were supposed to be. The older people, the parents, die before their kids but she knew things werenât like that, especially not in Edenridge. Maybe when all things were said and done, sheâd share a plot with people she loves. She didnât care who, so long as they were family. Tsking, wondering why Decky was taking forever to go to the Edge, procrastinating and trying to keep conversations going when he had somewhere to be, Lacey dismissed him, as she put Cobra Kai on the television (if the kids liked wrestling they would like karate too), âOkay, I know you miss me and all but you got business, right? Get going and make my brother cry like a little bitch. The babies are safe with me.â
"Right, right," Mordechai replied abashedly, looking over to see Allegra watching him with a raised eyebrow, hand on the door while she waited for him. This information dump had him hesitating, unsure of himself again, but heâd set his mind and he was going to see it through. "I trust ya."
Those three words spoke a whole story in and of themselves.
With that, the soon to be snakes walked out the door of the James house and started their walk down to the Edge of Sin, ready to enter the den of Serpents.
âShut up anâ drink your coffee, Legs, we gotta head ta the Edge soon,â Mordechai deflected, dropping his bag and switching out the cup in his hand with the baby Chai in Allegraâs. Eyebrow raised, Allegra met his stubborn stare with her own steady one, taking a loud sip of her delicious drink to wordlessly tell him she was more than willing and able to wait him out. She knew a lot about Mordechaiâs relationship with the warm and welcoming gentleman that ran the townâs cafe. Like most people in this town, sheâd met the man mentally long before she first set foot in Edenridge because Mordechai couldnât stop telling stories about him once you got him started. It had led to a very blunt conversation between the two as Allegra made him confront his feelings once more.
âSo heâs your dad.â
âWhat? No, ya said the same thing about Phil, what is wrong with you?â
âNothinâ, and nothinâ wrong with havinâ two dads neither,â Allegra teased. âYa didnât exactly grow up in a nuclear family livinâ situation, Ken Doll, but that doesnât mean ya didnât have parents. Ya really didnât realize?â
â...Shut up.â
âGrow up, bovo.â
âWhat? No, ya said the same thing about Phil, what is wrong with you?â
âNothinâ, and nothinâ wrong with havinâ two dads neither,â Allegra teased. âYa didnât exactly grow up in a nuclear family livinâ situation, Ken Doll, but that doesnât mean ya didnât have parents. Ya really didnât realize?â
â...Shut up.â
âGrow up, bovo.â
It had been a long one in the end, because to Mordechai the idea of having an adult that was safe enough to help him was one thing, heâd been forced to confront that with Phil and the Serpent parents when he was younger. However the idea that he actually trusted these adults as parental figures didnât seem to compute, even with Beau coming in and basically fostering him and Danny in his home for a few months. Sheâd had to relate Mordechaiâs experience to that of his friends adopted by the Dawsons, and even then she basically had to take his hands and help him put two and two together. Allegra was no shining star of peak mental health herself, but the damage Mordechaiâs DNA donors did to his psyche- let alone his body- was absolutely enraging. If she ever saw Alana Boaz in town, the woman wouldnât leave with her face intact at the least.
Mordechai finally relented and looked away first, bouncing lightly back and forth with Chai supported against his chest. âI said he was a dad ta us and I cried into his shoulder, aâight? Happy?â
âEcstatic,â Allegra deadpanned before grinning at him. âWay to use your words, Ken Doll, couldnât be more proud.â
âRight,â Mordechai replied with a roll of his eyes, taking a seat on the couch and looking around for his other child. âWhereâs Viva?â
âNappinâ. This little fucker didnât want to for some reason so weâve been up scrollinâ through channels.â
âIâve been told Disney is a good one, or their movies at least,â Mordechai offered, mind straying to the Scott Street car ride and his conversation with Carrie. âItâs for kids, too.â
âWhat, ya mean I shouldnât have been showinâ him Dexter?â Allegra mock gasped, going so far as to put her hand in front of her mouth as it formed a perfectly surprised âOâ.
âLook, Iâm tryinâ-â
âMORDECHAI ARE YOU FUCKING IN THERE? I GOT A BONE TO PICK!â
There were two loud slams on the James' front door.
âI already know Sly and Vicky ainât there, and your Popcorn girl lives next door or some shit but first of all, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?â
The streetwalkers exchanged wide eyed glances with each other at the sudden noise, Allegra silently questioning the other if he was going to open the door before the banshee on the other side broke it down. When his look first indicated a negative, Allegra grabbed Chai from Mordechaiâs hold and took a few pointed steps in the opposite direction of the door before turning around to glare fully at him when Viva started crying in the next room. As if it would help him instead of make things worse, Mordechai took a few dreaded seconds to try and compose himself before he had to face Lacey fucking Cernis.
What the hell was she doing here? Why was she picking her bone now?
âOh,â Allegraâs equally irritated and amused voice carried over, appearing back in the room with a tired Viva and crying on her hip opposite Chai just as another round of slams sounded from the door. âThis is how ya reacted with Badger,â He turned around to catch her vindictive grin, returning it with a look that very clearly said Iâm tired of your shit. âThis is another sibling-type, ainât it?â
â...â Mordechai let his glare hang between the two in silence for a moment before realizing it would do nothing to sway Allegra, especially when he was in trouble for getting Viva woken up. âItâs Sunshineâs sister, Lacey.â
âWell?â She asked, raising an eyebrow when Mordechaiâs next face very clearly said what? Make me. âAnswer the fuckinâ door, Ken Doll, donât ya ever learn your fuckinâ lessons?â
âFuck you,â Was his eloquent reply. Allegra flipped him off while he dropped a hand onto the doorknob and took a deep breath before opening it and coming face to face with the woman that raised one of his soulmates.
â...Hi, LaceâŠâ
âThis is why you get punched when people visit!â Allegra called from the couch, allowing herself and her children to be known to the woman now visible on the front step. Mordechai steadfastly ignored her while maintaining eye contact with his older sister figure.
Glancing past Decky to see the model and children, surprised that there were outsiders in the James house but not surprised this fucker had another lover, Lacey took a moment to take in the sight of the woman before her fiery glare met with his. âHi, Lace? HI, LACE?!â The older woman hissed, venom from the more seasoned serpent oozing out of her. âTHATâS HOW WEâRE GOING TO GREET THE PERSON WHO WATCHED YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS IN THE PLAYGROUND AND HAD TO CLEAN YOU UP?!â She pushed forward, using her indomitable will to force Decky back without laying a finger on him.
âOh shit,â Allegra laughed breathily as she watched the leggy brunette manhandle Mordechai like a pro, making no move to help him as she stayed on the couch settling Viva and Chai. The baby boy was now the one crying from the stimulation in his environment while Viva slowly wiped tears off her splotchy cheeks and watched the intruder with wide, curious eyes.
âYa know Iâm not good with greetinâs, Lace,â Mordechai pleaded, hands up in front of him in defense while he leaned back from the woman whose fist was now twisting the collar of his shirt into a handle for her to throttle, no longer able to meet her eyes.
âDumbass move, practically a foul,â Allegra refereed from the couch, excited to see more of Mordechaiâs family in action.
âShut up Legs, I sw-â
Taking a deeper look at the children, and seeing the boy that looked just like Danny, Lacey bit her tongue, her grip tightening around her friendâs collar. With her head, she gestured to the little boy, âHe yourâs?â There was a hint of disbelief in her voice as she came to the discovery that she and her brother were left out of this milestone for this boy they both loved dearly, far too much for their own good. âAnd you and her. You two a thing? Fucking? Loving?â The shock was starting to set in as she started to see why exactly her brother was hurt. There was so much lost time between them and who knows when any of them would die. Mordechai forgot who his family was. And that hurt like a bitch.
âHey, whoa, no- I mean yeah heâs mine but weâre not- sheâs not-â Mordechai suddenly started trying to get his shirt free from Laceyâs grasp, a hint of panic lighting up his movement as he tried to explain two years in the two seconds before Lacey came to her own conclusion. â-it wasnât intentional, the cops took my fuckinâ bike and then I ended up in New York an-â What was Lacey thinking? What was forming in her mind and how much hurt and anger was it causing her?
Heâd only kept in touch with Nolan because heâd messaged him while fucked up asking about him and Lanie like he hadnât burned those bridges, and when Nolan reached out back he realized how much the other boy needed someone too. Mordechai only met Mika these past two years because the man literally found and busted in on his home just like Lacey was doing to him now, but that didnât stop the fact that he hadnât cut himself off completely from Edenridge like heâd illusioned himself into believing while excusing his benders and lack of care for his life.
Brownsville had tried to change that, but he was still so stuck in his own self destruction at the time that the only times he allowed himself to think of home was when Allegra demanded stories and anecdotes. Heâd abandoned so much family here. Lacey had by all accounts been the Boaz brothersâ first ever authority figure. Before even Phil, Rey Rey, and Beau had become solidified as providers in his worldview, Lacey Cernis had seen two broken boys that had gained the absolute attention of her otherwise mute and empty eyed brother and decided she would do what she could to raise them, too. It had been her intense coaxing and coaching that had Sonny ready to talk and introduce himself the day he and Mordechai finally met in person at age five for kindergarten, and later the reason for such a foul mouth as heâd learned to speak from her, though she would never admit it.
âIâm sorry,â he whispered, hands still shakily trying to find a weak point in her grasp as if on autopilot, feeling choked despite the fact that she wasnât impeding his air. âI couldnât come back, but I shouldâa stayed in contact.â
âBullshit,â she released Decky furiously, and ran both her hands through her hair. âBullshit, Mordechai. Sonny might think you fucked off, running away from us but I saw Dannyâs grave. Donât play fucking dumb with me. Thereâs no fucking way youâre lying to my goddamn face right now.â She needed to calm down. All of this was crashing in like a tidal wave and she could feel every part of her body shaking. âEvery birthday, every Hanukkah, even the day he died, you know who went to visit him? Me. And I saw what you did. Donât play fucking dumb with me, you know I canât stand liars.â She walked past him to take a seat in the kitchen. Leaning forward, she grasped her hands, holding them tightly, and bounced her right leg up and down, deep in thought. âWhen are you going to realize youâre not fucking alone and you never were?â
Mordechai took the time that Lacey looked away to send a look that conveyed his confusion and alarm to Allegra, who was no longer smiling at the scene before her. âViva,â the young mother said to her child, the little girl looking up to her mother expectantly. âThatâs your auntie Lacey, she needs a hug, show her how good ya are at âem.â The girlâs head swiveled between her mother and the woman in the kitchen while she gave her direction, sliding her way off the couch and stumbling her way over until she smacked into the new womanâs legs. Leaning against them, she extended her arms up towards Lacey expectantly, pudgy fingers clenching and unclenching in a grabby gesture while she stared Lacey down with her big brown eyes.
Loosening herself to look at the little girl, Laceyâs demeanor softened but instead of grabbing the child, she asked, âDo you want to hug me?â She let her question sit in the air, before adding, âI donât want you to hug me if itâs not what you want, okay? So letâs start with this first,â the stranger got up and knelt down, bringing herself more to the childâs level (to the best she could). She offered her hand for a handshake, if the child was willing to take it, or even understood the gesture, âMy name is Lacey. Whatâs yourâs?â
Viva dropped her arms from their extended position with a bit of confusion, staring at Laceyâs hand like she was unsure what to do with it. Did she want to hug her? Of course she did! Hugs felt so good, and they made booboos and sad things feel better. Suddenly remembering the adult had asked her a question and bringing up the manners her mama taught her, she grabbed as much of Laceyâs hand as she could and shook it up and down happily with both of hers. Allegra, for her part, was watching the interaction like a hawk despite her calm demeanor, ready to intervene if anything were to go wrong.
âIâm Viva Gavwiel Cawdenas Boaz! Nice ta meetâcha!â She said dutifully, the name falling out of her mouth for the second time in as many days. Unlike the previous morning, Mordechai didnât react at all, thoughts spinning as he tried to piece together what Lacey had said.
âA very pretty name. Itâs very nice to meet you, Viva,â Lacey gently held onto the little girlâs hand. When Viva released it, the older woman continued, her voice no longer loud like she was when she barged into Mordechaiâs new humble abode, âIâm someone who has been in your daddyâs life for a very long time and I want you to know, when youâre ready, we can hug. But Iâd like you to get to know me first, if thatâs alright with you? LikeâŠ. One thing I love to do is play with yo-yos. Do you know what a yo-yo is?â She asked curiously, guiding the child in the conversation but allowing her to be the conductor and take the lead if she wanted to.
Viva nodded her head vigorously, excitement lighting up her features. âPapaâs good at yo-yo!â she expressed, her words pulling Mordechai out of his thoughts and back to the conversation at hand. She began to stumble through her story about when her papa showed her a bunch of tricks. The reality was that he was extremely rusty since his time learning it under the very woman who sat in the kitchen- the one that taught damn near all of them when they were younger- and he only showed her like three tricks, just over and over again. The wonder of childish eyes. As much as he wanted to let his daughter have this moment, let Lacey have this moment, he couldnât let go of what she had said, so when Viva finished her story, he finally interrupted.
âLace, whyâd ya think Iâve been cominâ back?â he asked, brow furrowing. âWhy did Dannyâs grave make ya think Iâve been back? That donât make sense.â
Shooting a quick glare at Decky, she returned her gaze to the child and smiled, âMaybe later I can teach you some tricks. For now, go back to your mother but before you go, you can take this with you.â From out of her military green button up jacket she took out a LED yoyo. Putting distance between her and the child, Lacey stood up and did a finger spin sidewinder trick. It began with a horizontal pinwheel throw; she did that a few times before popping the yo-yo up and landing it on her index finger (on her non-throw hand). The yo-yo spun on her index finger like one would do with a basketball and just when the yo-yo was about to dive, she lacerated into the center of the string causing the yo-yo to bind. While the strings spun around the yo-yo, her throw hand hovered over it, which caused the yo-yo to do a side winding movement. In seconds the yo-yo was fully fastened and back in her hand. She handed it to the little girl.
Viva giggled giddily at the trick, clapping her hands excitedly before gasping as Lacey handed the yo-yo over to her. Unsure about accepting the gift, Viva turned to look back at her mother with wide eyes, prompting the young woman to smile and reassure her daughter.
âGo ahead bubbe, and donât forget your manners.â
Viva spun back around to Laceyâs outstretched hand and enthusiastically received the toy from the older woman, shouting, âThank ya vewy much!â before grinning widely at the brunette and running back over to her mom and baby brother, the latter of which had dozed off once the noise level had dropped. Allegra helped Viva up onto the couch while still paying attention to the tense scene in the kitchen.
âThereâs not many jews in this town, Trouble,â Lacey crossed her arms, standing in a tall, intimidating way, dropping her nickname for the boy since he was little, for the first time since they were united. âSo youâre telling me, I find out youâve been âofficiallyâ here for a month and you âhavenâtâ visited your brotherâs grave? I find that very hard to fucking believe. Thereâs no way the Khourys would visit him and the only other person who would, goes with me when I do. Are you seriously playing this game right now?â
âThereâs no game, Lace, I visited when I got back but I was wasted ta shit, Badger had ta practically carry me out,â Mordechai admitted. âBut youâre actinâ like Iâve been cominâ back this whole time and lyinâ about it and that ainât true,â the frown became more pronounced as he thought back to what little he could remember of that day before he wasted the rest of it passed out on Mary-Anne Oâharaâs couch. Heâd started drinking before he ever set foot on Liberty Road, let alone through the gates of the cemetery that resided there. Heâd been focused on the quote he could barely keep his gaze straight enough to see, but even through the drunken haze he remembers how much the quote had smacked him in the face.
âI must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.â -Lemony Snicket
Heâd remembered precariously dropping down and placing his back to the headstone while he unloaded all his guilt and shame onto Danny while the rough surface scratched at his back and shoulders. He remembers that it was one of the most uncomfortable places to be unable to get up from, but he had chalked that up to his physical and metal state at the time.
Now it made him feel like he was missing something, like he always was. His brain was struggling to fit together the puzzle pieces with such blurred images as his base, but Laceyâs words were instilling a fearful curiosity in him that he couldnât fully comprehend.
âWhat did ya see that made ya think it was me, or at least a jew? I donât fuckinâ know whatâs goinâ on and I canât figure it out with what I got.â
It was at this point that Lacey was beginning to believe him. The look he was giving was terribly dumbfounded. This only caused the sadness to be more visible on her face when she realized Sonny was right and Decky really did just leave them and never looked back. That is until recent days. âYou got to be fucking kidding me,â she whispered taking out her phone and opening it to her camera roll. It didnât take a rocket scientist to understand the implications of Dannyâs grave now. The question Mordechai had been asking all his life was true. Somewhere, likely in Massachusetts, he had a family. Not like her and her boys. Not his chosen family. And she doubted it was his despicable parents. No, somewhere in this fucked up world, he had a real blood family that loved him enough to put so many rocks around his little brotherâs grave and keep coming, lurking in the shadows, watching him but not once interacting with him. She didnât say anything more, instead she tossed her phone to him and took a seat back down, waiting for his devastating response.
Mordechai caught the phone on instinct, eyes more focused on the way Lacey seemed to deflate into the chair like she was expecting another emotional punch directly to the solar plexus and was getting a head start on crumpling over. Trepidation lining his posture, Mordechai turned the phone towards him and blanked out as he tried to comprehend what was staring him in the face, the screen brightness all the way up so there was no mistaking it.
Rocks and pebbles lined the top of Dannyâs gravestone, over a dozen of them painted with care or weathered with age, but just as many were blank yet carefully placed. There were different snakes on some of them, interspersed with little drums, which the man assumed were Zionâs personal touches, while others had musical notes and comic book onomatopoeias, a surefire tell of Ryeâs hand. Closest to Ryeâs were rocks with tells of the other Phillips-Shomerâs predilections or just a handful of the smaller unpainted pebbles to show theyâd been there.
These all made sense. What didnât make sense were the larger rocks placed around the headstoneâs base, each one surrounded by smaller ones done in the same style, half embedded into the grass. Birds. There were lots of birds in the first one; he noticed a cardinal, a blue jay, a robin and an owl on some of the larger ones, the smaller ones containing pigeons, doves, and ducks. He followed them to the next grouping of rocks that seemed more focused on scenery and destinations. The aurora lights shine from the largest rock with such detail it looked like a picture, a snowy mountain range shared size with what was a surprisingly intricate field of flowers for such a small canvas. Giant redwoods covered another scenic rock while the sun sat above soft white clouds on yet another, a trail of birds- unlike the first set- in front of the bright orb drawing his eye directly to the next distinct style and grouping. A treasure map trail dotted across a painted brown background before ending at a large red X, and on the next was a magnifying glass that hovered over a bright eye against a dark background. The largest one of this batch was a carefully detailed star map, each dot of a star dedicatedly placed and each constellation gently lined. The final grouping of rocks were an almost dystopian mix of mechanics and nature, the main focus being a motorcycle covered in vines and moss, flowers bursting wildly from the headlight. A smaller one had a cute little broken down robot with his hand extended to the lightsource, a small fluffy animal that Mordechai couldnât distinguish from the photo nestled up against the machineâs rusted tracks.
All of them were beautiful and each grouping showed unmistakably separate interests and personalities. None of which Mordechai could connect to the people he knows that would understand the depth and meaning of leaving rocks on a jewish grave.
âWhatâŠI-â Mordechaiâs words came out in a strangled whisper as he tried to express to the room the absolute chaos now tearing its way through his head. Those rocks werenât some fair weather visitor seeing a trend and joining in, they were intricate and well maintained along with the rest of Dannyâs plot. They were remnants of people who cared enough to dedicate time and effort into painting a bit of themselves onto something permanent that would become part of the plot and indicate I was here, I was here for you and I leave a constant reminder. Flowers were ephemeral, they grow and wilt and die just like human beings do. Leaving a rock on a grave during your visit means that the love you place and leave upon your lost oneâs final resting place will continue to last long after even you too have passed, much as your love for the deceased had already weathered their loss and persevered.
âIâŠI got blood?â Mordechai finally tore his eyes away from Laceyâs phone, looking distraughtly over to the woman and finally understanding why sheâd dropped like a puppet with her strings cut. He missed Allegra getting up and slowly walking over to him, gently taking the phone from his shaking grasp before he dropped and shattered it. She respectfully kept her eyes off the screen and locked the phone before walking it over to the silent woman in the kitchen and setting it quietly on the table in front of her. âThatâs what that means, right? That- that was four sets, I didnât have any blood and now there's four people out there?â Mordechaiâs chest began to rise and fall quicker the more he said and realized. âAnd they know about Danny? About me?â
âApparently,â Lacey grabbed her phone and forcibly pocketed it in her jacket. âI donât fucking know. I really donât fucking know but I guess the only way to find out,â she stood up, not shedding a single tear even though she probably should and gave Legs a quick glance over before entering the living room. Going to the entertainment center, she grabbed a portrait off a shelf and made her way to Mordechai, âWhenever you come back from whatever you need to do, Iâm assuming youâre heading to the Edge because itâs about damn time you showed your face there, start with the people you know.â
She handed Decky a portrait of the family that owned the house. Victoria had her arms wrapped around pre-teen Maxine, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head. Sly held onto the hip of his wife with one hand and kept his youngest daughter close to his side with the other. Penelope wasnât looking at the camera, she was following something in the sky and twirling a dark item in between her fingers. A black feather if you take a closer look. A ravenâs feather. âTheyâve got to know about your parents, Trouble. I bet this whole neighborhood knows about your family but theyâre keeping quiet. Why?â
When he took the picture frame from her, she placed her hands on his shoulders, pressed her forehead against his and desperately squeezed him, âYou ever disappear again like that, Iâm going to hunt you down and kill you, you fucking hear me? I will make it so painful, you wished you never ran from your family like that ever again. Blood or no blood. Donât EVER fucking run away again. We need you, you stupid idiot. We need youâŠâ her voice cracked and there was a sudden build up in her eyes. âSay it. Say youâre not going to leave us.â
âIâŠâ Mordechaiâs mind was swarming, and the feeling of being so lost was reaching up from within him, taunting at swallowing him whole as it had for the entirety of his life. Laceyâs connection at their foreheads provided him the grasp on reality that he needed to keep his head out of the darkness, and he focused his suddenly glossy eyes with her own as he registered what she said to him.
The Jamesâ, Sly and Vicki, they would know about his parents, about the family they kept from him? Heâd never even thought to ask. You didnât ask an adult about vulnerable things, it was a lesson that had literally been burned into him with all the others, so he had never asked. In his mind, his parents were only children and all his grandparents were dead, that was the portrait that had been painted for him early on and he had never thought to ask that it be tested as a fake. Were they his parentsâ ages? He didnât even know how old they were, the only reason he knew their names was because he and Danny werenât allowed to call them mom and dad within hearing range. The only reason they knew their last name was because of school forms.
Mordechai had to rebuild his legal identity as a teenager with no access to his original information. The Serpents had helped fast track some of the papers, but it was one of the times that Mordechai had understood how his parents were crippling them from existing in common society, setting them up for failure and going so far as to not keep any of their identification. Trying to erase them from the world without killing them. It was one of the reasons the whole emancipation process and moving out of the serpent dorm had taken so long, paid dues aside.
But Edenridge knew his parents. The town his roots always seemed to die in when he tried to plant them, yet he wasnât fit for any other soil, this town was actually cutting his roots off. Why? What had he and Danny done to be so bereft of familial identity? What sins of their parents were they forever paying for? Why had the town agreed to such a silence and robbing in the first place? The southside had agreed to communally purge all mention of the Boazâs, and whatever the name of their maternal side was. This was some sick joke. It had to be some sick joke, right?
This cursed fucking townâŠ
âIâm not goinâ anywhere, Lace,â Mordechai rasped through his tightening throat. He felt sick, and scared, and lost aside from the Laceyâs grip on him like the life preserver sheâd always been. âIâm not gonna leave ya again.â
Their foreheads touching turned into Lacey pressing her lips on it, showing him that for as long as this world would let her, sheâd be there for him. Pulling away, she quickly pinched his ear to bring him back from his dark place. During this period, she swallowed her tears, her heart hardening even more. âOkay fucker. I know these truths hurt like a bitch but itâs time to armor up and fight. Stop waiting on others to give you what you want. This is your truth, yeah? Finding your roots is important to you, yeah? Chase it. Chase it until you canât chase it no more and stop being a little bitch.â
When she felt satisfied with her spiel, Lacey threw her arm around him, walking him with her to their next destination. That being Allegra. âHey beautiful, sorry for that mushy scene. Itâs good to see this idiot has someone looking out for him. Lacey. Lacey Cernis. Iâm damn surprised he was able to find someone as fine as you. I hope he treats you right. If not, Iâm just a call away. If you need someone to⊠show you around. Iâm your girl,â she smirked, giving a playful wink; her mood drastically changing. It was almost concerning how quickly Lacey made the switch from familial interrogation to flirting. How quick she was able to compartmentalize.
Allegra had turned her head back from watching her children just in time for the two southieâs approach, a mischievous grin passing over her face when she heard Laceyâs proper introduction. She was well aware of the coping mechanism the other woman had just employed, and she was more than willing to play along. She made sure the other woman saw her taking a long look at her from head to toe.
âOh, Iâll take ya up on that as soon as possible,â She looked at Lacey with the doe-eyed look that got her nicknamed Bambi. âIâm thinkinâ I need the full-town tour, start at the park, end at your bed?â
âThatâs not the full tow-OWN-â Mordechai ripped himself from Laceyâs grasp while trying to avoid another quick shot in the side from Allegraâs fingers, sufficiently distracted from the previous emotional turmoil. âItâs not, itâs a straight shot down Carlisle an-â
âAre you gatekeepinâ my flirtinâ? Listen here you emotionally unbalanced little shit,â Allegra cut in, a playful warning glare making his mouth click shut. While her comment had mostly been to lighten the mood and allow Laceyâs change of topic to truly take hold, it had also most definitely been an invitation. âYa got dick the minute ya walked back into town, my dance cardâs been empty for over two months, and your big sister is hot as fuck and looks like she could absolutely take me apart in the sheets-â
âJesus fuckinâ-â
âShe isnât wrong,â Lacey shrugged in agreement.
âSo let me have my moment, ya already had yours.â
âFine!â Mordechai replied in exasperation, hands flying up in the air. âFuck my friends, fuck my family, at least youâre goinâ after Lace and not-â
âNot Sonny?â Allegra teased laughing as he closed his mouth and glared at her. âYour little sunshine? Baby that boy can light your life up like a menorah for all I care, Iâm lookinâ ta be lit up like times square-â
âOK! Ok I ainât gotta hear any more, and I know ya got more. Fuck. Yâall got like five minutes ta mingle before we gotta get ta the edge,â Mordechai relented with a grimace, trying to get the mental image of his sister figure and his baby momma out of his head. He dragged his hands down his face and tilted his head to look away from the two women whoâs flirting was causing him mental damage. Viva stared back from her seat on the couch, head tilted to the side before her eyes slid to look at her smiling mother. âWait, whoâs watchinâ the kids?â
âOh shit,â Allegra blinked, âI was gonna ask Poppy but she didnât come back with ya,â Her attention immediately went back to her kids and she went back over to the couch to pick up a sleeping Chai, the baby boy groggily opening his eyes to greet his mother as he woke. When she got back to the adults in the room, Allegra gave one long look to each of them, raising her eyebrow at Mordechai in question. He followed her wordless query and gave a raised eyebrow back, eyes flicking over to Lacey before going back to her. Allegra nodded and he gave Allegra a nod in response. Smiling, satisfied, she turned to Lacey and lifted her arms so Chai was close to her while not leaving the safety of his motherâs hold.
âDâya babysit?â
âAll my fucking life,â Lacey gestured with a nod toward Mordechai. âThis donât come free though. If you get this loser to fix his shit with my brother, thatâll give us some space here to âtalkâ about the town. Yâknow, before I show you around.â Taking a step closer to Allegra, Lacey stroked her cheek with the back of hand, before looking at Chai, âThat is if you trust me enough with your kids. We did just meet.â The older woman looked at Chai with veiled sadness and deep adoration. For a moment, the love she had for the Boaz boys was written all over her face as she looked at a ghost. As she looked at the face of Danny.
Shit, this baby really did look like him, it was scary.
âNah,â Allegra replied quietly, cheek tingling from the gentle contact and face softening as she read Laceyâs. âIâve known ya through stories from a man that ya raised, Iâm just lookinâ to learn ya myself now. These kids are his responsibility too, and he wouldnât okay it without havinâ complete faith in ya,â She looked over to her Ken Doll, and the man was looking away with an embarrassed blush burning at his cheeks. âIâm sure you're aware that heâs still in the learninâ stage of speakinâ his emotions, but heâs an easy read once ya get to know him.â
She lifted Chai to her once more, offering the new aunt a chance to hold the new life born off of one they lost. It was her choice whether or not to take him, but her eyes showed so much longing and pain that Allegra knew for a fact she at least wanted to.
And Allegra was right.
With full permission to grab the baby, from both mother and father, Lacey eased her way to him, gently taking Chai away from his mother. Her finger grazed the other womanâs, and with that simple touch, electricity went in her skin, streaming through her body, causing her to grin in excitement. Mordechai did find himself a hot babyâs mama. And soon sheâd get a taste. Yum. Sharing is caring, after all.
Locking her eyes with Allegraâs, Lacey thanked her silently for trusting her with her life. To Lacey, children were the future and the reason why most parents even get up in the morning. Thatâs how she felt with all those sheâs ever raised, especially Sonny and Zion. Those two were her life and without them, she would be lost. Holding Chai close, Lacey leaned her cheek against the babyâs head as he rested himself on his auntâs shoulder. âYou two should get going, I got some cartoons to watch.â Swaying herself, embracing Chai protectively, she followed up, before letting them go, âAllergies? Meds? What they can and canât do? Favorite toys? Things theyâre scared of?â She shot glances at both parents, not caring who answered. As she waited for a response, she made her way to Viva who was sleepily lying on the couch and joined her.
"Viva just has seasonal allergies," Allegra answered dutifully, the way the woman treated her children already lighting a flame of affection in her guarded heart. "Baby benadryl is in the bathroom upstairs that connects the bedrooms."
"Viva likes to climb, if she goes for anythin' just make sure it's stable first, but we don't stop her unless it's dangerous," Mordechai added. "She will try ta take ya down from the top rope if ya let her get onto the back of the couch."
"Oh yeah, beware of flyin' toddlers that wrestle with a Boa and a Badger," Allegra laughed while playing off on Decky's warning. "Chai's not very fast at movin' around on his own yet so ya ain't gotta worry about him much."
"Don't show anythin' with clowns," Mordechai finished his bit, thinking of his daughter's phobia of unknown origin. Clowns just freaked her the fuck out. He wanted to recommend that Lacey find something Disney, but he honestly wanted to start that tradition himself and make lasting memories of time with his kids. "Chai gets excited if he sees animals, if ya can do anything with that."
"No sugar past seven, bedtime is eight, but at least one of us should be back by then," Allegra finished, grabbing the light brown jacket off the coat rack by the door and throwing it on. "Other than that, go wild."
âGot it,â Lacey was turned away from them with the remote in hand, looking through what was on Netflix. She held one baby on her lap and the other leaned on her. Briefly placing the remote down, she pulled the throw blanket on them all. As she stared at the television, she remembered something, âOh, Mordechai, since youâre probably tired of surprises Iâm going to give you one more. Conan is with your brother. It was a group decision that we wished you were part of. Just thought you should know.â
It was like Badger giving him a right hook, no holds barred.
Conan's with your brother.
God, he didn't need this now. He thought the serious parts of the conversation were over. Little Conan had finally been laid to rest with Danny, his ashes no longer sitting in the Dawson house, but in an ash plot on Danny's grave. The best friends were finally back together and always would be. It explained why Zion's grouping of rocks had drums and crossed drumsticks as well. He thought Zion was maybe doing it on Conan's behalf, but he was actually leaving them for the boy, now that he finally had a spot where you could lay your respects.
Little Conan used to follow him around right alongside Danny when the boy wasn't hanging out with his own big brother, seemingly enamored with Decky, or maybe Decky and Dannyâs dynamic. Danny and Conan had bonded over traumas much in the way Mordechai and Sonny had, the way Mordechai and Chase had before little Conan was lost to them and being a big brother trying to raise the younger was no longer a shared concept. Because of the timing of Conan's death, Decky had already mostly made his move Northside, and Chase wasn't the type to come knocking on Decky's door for support any more than Decky was one to assume someone would want him to help them through new traumas. Heâd never been the poster child for good advice or wise words, or even comfort.
Mordechai at the time still had his little brother, and had focused on the grieving Danny over Chase. He had a feeling it was the fatal mistake to their friendship, and that seeing Decky and Danny interact after the loss of his own parallel was too much for him in the first place. But still, it looks like Crazy Train finally found his forever destination, and it was perfect.
She was right though, he was tired of surprises, but now he was just downright drained and exhausted.
"I wish I had been there too, but for what it's worth it was the right choice," he finally got out around the knot in his throat. "They always wanted ta be together forever. Platonic soulmates if I ever saw 'em."
âWould be nice,â Lacey muttered, not finishing her thought out loud. She hoped she died before Sunshine. She hoped she died before Zion. Thatâs how things were supposed to be. The older people, the parents, die before their kids but she knew things werenât like that, especially not in Edenridge. Maybe when all things were said and done, sheâd share a plot with people she loves. She didnât care who, so long as they were family. Tsking, wondering why Decky was taking forever to go to the Edge, procrastinating and trying to keep conversations going when he had somewhere to be, Lacey dismissed him, as she put Cobra Kai on the television (if the kids liked wrestling they would like karate too), âOkay, I know you miss me and all but you got business, right? Get going and make my brother cry like a little bitch. The babies are safe with me.â
"Right, right," Mordechai replied abashedly, looking over to see Allegra watching him with a raised eyebrow, hand on the door while she waited for him. This information dump had him hesitating, unsure of himself again, but heâd set his mind and he was going to see it through. "I trust ya."
Those three words spoke a whole story in and of themselves.
With that, the soon to be snakes walked out the door of the James house and started their walk down to the Edge of Sin, ready to enter the den of Serpents.