@Blackmist16
- His personality section is rather contradictory imo. Read through it and think really hard about it.
- His backstory doesn't make sense either. It leaves out a few things that should be filled in. Like you just started off by saying he was kicked out of his house. You didn't say what he did, or how he was even like.
- I want to know where/how he became good at thievery/shooting, you left that out of his backstory.
- I... honestly don't understand his power section. It's all over the place which gives me little clear idea as to what he can do. Also, that's not how fire works. Fire is a reaction that produces light, rather than being made out of it.
- I don't like Darkness powers.
- You need to work on your grammar a bit. A lot of your paragraphs are run on sentences. Use periods more than commas.
1: I like to keep shit before he got kicked secret so he is mysterious things in his past but I want to keep the character how it is I will change it just a little busy right now because I like the characters, I used Darkness powers only in respect to stealth and stuff.
2:anywho if I could get a little help I would like it because this seems to be a higher level advanced RP and stuff.
But just saying man.
