Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Post is up - far rougher than it should have been, but up nevertheless (P.S. I'll make use of that description in the posts to come - sorry that I ended up cutting it for the time being); I've got a few proposals moving forward from here though, if you guys care to give them a listen:

1) Personally, that was probably one of my worst sessions of Writer's Block in recent months, and I think it just has to do with a lack of practice. I did a little bit of reading online, and I think I'll just need to work on a steady paragraph-by-paragraph increase of random scenarios if I really want to put out volume and keep increasing my skills overall as well...soooo, do either of you mind if I just chuck in a paragraph or so into the discord each day? Theses wouldn't be related to the RP, I'm just figuring that it'd be a lot easier to practice if other people could jump in and offer some critiques here and there along the way - 'inspiration', of a sorts.

2) About those organs - I've been thinking about what could have taken Haban's leg and eye, and the short and sweet of it would be some sort of military-grade drug tested in the past to enhance combat performance. It worked surprisingly well...only, the side-effects were a tiny bit...life-threateningly-hazardous. The formula could've been destroyed after its use in the war, but I don't think that'd stop a few people from trying to recreate it - and this might even tie in to why (unbeknownst to everyone but the most in-the-know) the [Insert Whatever This Culture's Name Is] government would be trying to dig up all the information they could on recreating it...or perhaps, why third-parties are trying to do the same for future sale. Those organs would need to be kept chilled because they're the only remaining pieces of the puzzle available to backtrack from - up until this point, they and others like them have gone through numerous private collectors' and researchers' hands in order to uncover the "Riddle Of R108". That's what I've got off the top of my head, but I'm definitely looking forward to how you might improve upon it, @vFear.

3) @Blackfridayrule, @vFear ...Any ideas on *how we get everyone to the right spot once the shit hits the fan? I'm thinking Outlook 15 will probably get bombed, and that'll at least force Haban to get on the move, but I'm still not really sure how Vilĉjo and Ridahne would be forced to leave either the bar or the van.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

Ridahne at least is in the thick of things. When the bomb goes off, she’ll make it out without serious injury but she’ll be like....in it. Plus people will try and tackle her, thinking she’s a culprit, so she has SO much motivation to flee the scene.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

Oh also yeah, feel free to toss stuff up onto the discord whenver for practice. Also don't focus so much on volume, focus more on substance :) that's really all you need. The rest will come naturally.
1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by vFear
Raw
Avatar of vFear

vFear monochrome boi

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Virgil
That works great for me. I didn't have anything established behind the organs except ">sell body parts >??? >profit", so that sets me up for more than I already had as is and is relevant to the cast. That would suggest that the buyer that didn't show up is government but got sidetracked with something, maybe even the attack?

@Blackfridayrule @Virgil
Vilĉjo is on the move right now, trying to do some networking to find another buyer. That could very well lead to him going to a bar because, well, where else do you go to do shady stuff?

As I was writing this, I was also struck with an idea. What if the three were to just happen to bump into one another in the street after the bombing, then right at that moment, a news chopper or something swoops in and paints a light on them, accusing them to be the attackers. It'd be convenient for the powers-that-be: you have the target foreigner, the person who has the super-crazy-medicine organs, and someone that knows about the super-crazy-medicine. They could - given we don't host a daring, high-stakes escape sequence - arrest us, take the organs, then use Ridahne to lay the blame. All of a sudden, we're all fugitives and in it together with something the government really wants.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

YAAAAS I support this idea. I would equally love a daring escape or for them to get captured, get interrogated with some unsatisfactory results, and then have them escape. it would give them a reason to stick together, too. sort of a 'we're all in this together' kind of deal.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@vFear
Hmmmm...

If we're going that route, then their attempted capture should center around Vilĉjo's involvement with -unbeknownst to him- the local government, or a 'shadier' aspect of it. Essentially, someone wants those organs, but the bombings/assassinations force them to react recklessly - they use their tabs on Vilĉjo to track him down in the midst of the chaos (as attempting to open the secured van without his know-how would inevitably melt the valuables inside, or something along those lines), and he happens to have bumped into Ridahne and Haban on his way back there. Suddenly targeted by what appears to be some arm of the government and labeled as part of the terrorist 'plot', they must now work together to figure out the true culprits behind these dastardly doings and clear their names...

And then everyone eats cake while the credits role; I mean, that, or they have to wait until *after the credits role to eat the cake - but nobody wants to wait that long unless it's for a Marvel movie; So, some doe-eyed genius figures "Hey, maybe we ought to just shove 'em in the middle this time?" But THEN everyone accuses them of being 'unoriginal' and saying: "Well 'Flawless' did that, but I see you've already hired the crippled cop and the dealer." So then they have to go BACK to the drawing board, and then somebody needs to go call the storyboard artist to get him out of bed in the middle of the night, and then someone else needs to go find the cinematographer to stop him drinking himself to death over having to re-shoot the entire scene because as it turns out, two of the cast-members got a slice of cake and the third was left eating humble pie - and before you know it, it's 2 A.M. and everyone's just agreed to maybe give the post-credits sequence a pass this time.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Also XD)

...That could very well lead to him going to a bar because, well, where else do you go to do shady stuff?


"...it felt like...a thousand tavern patrons crying out all at once in anguish; and then...there was silence."

(Working on the next post as we speak)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

So actually here’s what I was thinking:

ThenAzurei are physically the ones doing the attacking. But they’ve been put up to it by a bigger clandestine faction of government. The fact that Azurei was involved will be readily apparent to Ridahne and likely to others that were at the scene, and they become the obvious bad guys. But our characters discover it’s more than that. There’s something bigger happening.

Which means that if they get taken in, there are two options:

1: the low level government that gets hold of them does not know about the conspiracy and pegs them with the incident out of genuine belief that hey did it.

2: they know. And they’re using our three as pawns to throw under the bus as if to prove to the public that something is being done, when really they’re keeping people from the truth.
1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Sloooowly working towards the mythical "Substance"; I thought about including the action scene, but figured it'd be cooler to give Vilĉjo the opportunity to do a sweet transition of information - like, say, watching a shop-window of live TV screens show the Taja assault on-stage, physically feeling the ensuing chaos in the streets, and becoming apart of it himself. That being said, I've got some interesting ideas for Haban's fighting style once the focus shifts back over to him. Sorry again about taking so long - I adapt gradually!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Also:





...So yeah, still working on pacing myself better - I think those creative paragraphs are starting to help though.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

Okay so slow down a bit.

1: just how good is Haban at blade combat? Taja are not good. They’re the best. Ridahne would seriously struggle against one and she’s very good with a sword or a knife. His only decent chance of matching one would be using a gun or some other tactic (like the acid). And if he did engage with them he would not come out unscathed.
The reason I’m all particular about this is that there are not many of them and they’re a bit of a plot device, so they aren’t just expendable baddies.

2: I like the idea of him melting one’s face off though. To clarify, this is a beyond horrific thing to do in the eyes of the Azurei (the face tattoos are sacred and to even touch someone’s face without permission is extremely rude) and if Ridahne finds out he did it, it will be a big point of conflict later. Which could be fun. But I just want you to know what that action means in context.

But I also don’t wanna kill your vibe. Maybe there are two Taja and a group of eija (standard soldiers)? The Azurei fighting style is very much “hit and run”. They don’t have the tech or numbers to do brute force so they rely on strategy and stealth. Azurei is big on assassinations—-quick, quiet, doesn’t put too many of their own at risk more than there needs to be. They’d do an explosion, cause panic and throw their enemy off balance, kill either some key people or a handful, and disappear like ghosts. On the offensive, they are not typically a fight to the last man sort. Get in, do damage, get out.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Ah, no problem, it's good to get a broader perspective on the military aspect of Azurei culture. Haban's moderate paranoia sort of feeds into his skill, as he's constantly looking for ways to exploit the enemy; when he can't take them head on, he prefers tricks (the pipe is a prime example of this) or stealth. He hasn't actually fought Taja before, as I figured they were small in number during the war and would probably come out even smaller afterwards, but his baptism through fire in the closing years of the war gave him more than enough experience in learning to make up for weaknesses. For example, he quickly learned that he needed to fight as fast or as dirty as he could during his time in the main army due to the fact that he was a teenager when he graduated from the training academy - lacking size and strength, he and those others that survived alongside him ironically took to fighting like Azurei when they could. In fact, it's *Because they broke from the traditional...(just going to nab "Brahneian" from your first post as I can't think of a better name at the moment - could we say they're the dominant ethnic group in this particular nation?)...fighting style that they actually survived the war, and it took a little longer to conclude. Murdering Eija would practically be his bread and butter - he 'might' be able to take on a Taja provided he controlled the conditions of the fight (setting, supplies, et-cetera), but he'd be at a serious disadvantage against more than one, especially given he can no longer move as well as he could in the past (although his mechanical eye does give him a bit of a perception/reaction advantage - but I think it could be fooled like the Viper Witcher is in "The Witcher", where the protag "Geralt Of Rivia" hurls a bag of coins at him to distract his overly-attentive snake-eyes). I suppose they're the Jason Bournes of this universe in that way XD).

I love the contexts of the acid-attack, but the chances of him revealing much of anything outside of important details to Ridahne later on are pretty slim >_>). We'll see though - could be fun!

So he'll definitely be knocking out two Eija instead of two Taja; I also like the idea of him noticing the ease with which two white-robed assassins are cutting down his allies, noting that they appear to be the same type that completely owned the Chancellor, and just booking it from there XD). Can definitely see them looking for particular officers among the group, as the bombing was meant to be a sort of "We can touch any one of you at our leisure" threat (Outlook 15 isn't the only Outlook that's being hit), so that style makes sense. Sorry about the ramble overall, but thanks for the questions!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

Yeah, basically the reason Azurei didn't get stomped by the more advanced/larger nations is because trying to assault them on their own ground is difficult. Kind of in the way colonists fought back the British using guerrilla tactics because they knew the land etc. Azurei is a harsh landscape which is why it's so small and not as developed or wealthy as other nations. The Azurei know their land very well and use it to their advantage when strangers come knocking.

Also as a general note, they do have technology like guns and things (and obviously bombs) but their big thing is swords. It's a cultural thing (something you'll learn as you get to know Ridahne) and it's an art that's stuck around, almost in the same way that martial arts in Asia are today.

Yeah, Haban killing some eija seems good. Eija (unless I start giving one a name and make them a character) are expendable, if that makes sense. Taja...there are a small, set number. Cultural things you'll learn from Ridahne, but each Sol (matriarchal leader) has a certain amount of them. If one dies, a new one is trained and brought in. They're like the secret service almost, but with the badassery of the SEALS. If that makes sense?

As far as what would distinguish a taja from an eija...well there are a few things, but the most obvious would be the sashes they wear. Black across the chest, white around the waist. They'd be silk, exquisite but not froofy. Eija have neither of these--instead they have a blue and white star tattooed on the upper bicep of the left arm. Spoiler alert, Ridahne has one of these so Haban would know she either is or was eija. Should make things fun when they all meet up for the first time. Heheheh.

Also I'm gonna let @vFear post before I do...I think in my next post, things are gonna go boom but I wanna give Vilcjo a chance to have another appearance before I do.
1x Like Like 1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

...Eija have neither of these--instead they have a blue and white star tattooed on the upper bicep of the left arm. Spoiler alert, Ridahne has one of these so Haban would know she either is or was eija. Should make things fun when they all meet up for the first time. Heheheh.


XD) - someone's going to die before the plot even gets going *^*)...(should be fun!)

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by vFear
Raw
Avatar of vFear

vFear monochrome boi

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Alright. I'm about to consume copious amounts of alcohol then go to to training (what can go wrong!?) but I'll endeavour to have a post up tonight, tomorrow night at the latest!
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Blackfridayrule
Raw
GM
Avatar of Blackfridayrule

Blackfridayrule One Who Plays With Fire

Member Seen 5 mos ago

LOL nothing can go wrong! XD Good luck mate!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@vFear Innnnteresting - quick question though: Near the end of the post, is he swiping the patrons' phones, or is that his own phone?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by vFear
Raw
Avatar of vFear

vFear monochrome boi

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Virgil Oh he's swiping phones. He's trying to figure out the hospital social network for any leads on who might buy organs, so he's gonna read through texts and that. also sells for more money
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@vFear Ooooh - N E F A R I O U S; Can't wait to see how his reciprocity blackmail skills in action!
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Virgil
Raw
Avatar of Virgil

Virgil

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

(Thinking up the next post outline - should have the first draft done by tomorrow and the final by tomorrow or Thursday at the latest.)

Edit: Sorry about the delay - I've been trying to make this next one the best that I possibly can, so there've been a lot of scrapped drafts leading up to it; However, I'm feeling reeeeeaaally good about this version - pacing seems solid so far, world-building is on-point, so I'm happy ^_^). Finishing up the second half as we speak (perhaps another two-three paragraphs, just to make sure the action has space to breathe - should take another couple of hours at MOST), and then it's off to the press!

Further Edit: FIN!
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet