Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Bork Lazer Chomping Time

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Hello! Good morning! How are you doing today? May I help you with anything?

You may call me the First Greeter. No, not like my other.....mentally troubled brethren. I am the first and last person everyone meets. Once upon a time, I guarded the fabled Gates of Sliding, ferrying all wayward souls into the safety and comfort of the Wal. Once. That was eons ago. Now, I simply watch, witness and greet all who wander by me. My fate is tied to the Wal itself. I will live as long as it's shelves are filled.

But who I am is none of your concern. You are your own concern. Managing to live a long life in the Wal is certainly impressive. It takes a toll on you. I have seen countless like you searching. But, for what exactly? The rare 25th flavor of Ice Cream within the frigid refrigerator section? A master coupon? The safety and comfort of a Department? Some archaic piece of Wal-Tech lost within a Manager Office? The Wal offers both reward and punishment for those who are filling to pay low prices. You just need to have the will to take what is yours.

I digress, though. I mean not to hamper you on your shopping trip. Srange receipts await you, aisler. Do promise to show me yours when we meet at the Checkout. Trust me. We all meet at the Checkout sooner or later.

Oh, I almost forgot one thing.

Welcome to Walmart. I hope you enjoy your stay.







What wakes you up first is the smell. The styrofoam walls squeak and squeal with every moment you make. It’s so cramped that you’re forced to stand up. Thankfully, your captors have allowed you to keep your clothing to maintain your dignity.

You try to remember how you got here.

The Bargain Bin. That’s what you first focus on.

Any traveller would be hard pressed to miss the Bargain Bin in these times. A monolithic pile of refuse strewn out like an ant hill, lines upon lines of Stockers building up its foundations from the chaff of the Wal. Within its nooks, crannies and shadows lie the last bastions of humanity, eeking out a meagre existence.

Though you’re not well enthused with the inner politics of the Wal unlike the aislers of the Books Department, your days of being a shelf-dweller have passed. The Bargain Bin has been bled, fought and, pardon the phrase, bargained over longer than you were alive.

On the eve of the last Black Friday, the Bargain Bin had become a veritable battleground. An ocean of red flowed through the shelves, the tributaries inundated with bodies. It was said that the clean up that day took 2 months. It was clear by then that both the Stationary Shogunate and Tech Support were tired of support. A truce was formed with the Bargain Bin being divided in two, the north and the south.

Since then, an uneasy detente has settled over the Bargain Bin, with each faction occupying and dividing up its numerous territories. The Stationary Shogunate and the Noble Houses of Clothing have allied together, occupying the North of the Bargain Bin. The technocratic factions of Automobiles and Homeware have been bullied into supporting the all encompassing Tronic Temple, occupying a former Manager’s office as their base of operations in the South. The nomadic Grocery tribes, the numerous Dorfs of Fort Lego and many more factions are teeming within the Bin, seeking opportunity wherever they can in the chaos.

Your thoughts travel back to the present. How did you get captured? Somehow, the sinister followers of the Cult of the Smiling One somehow ambushed you during what was supposed to be a routine trip to the Bargain Bin. With your wrists zip-tied and your feet chained to the other captives with thick ropes of shoelace, it’s near impossible to escape. Escape seems a near impossibility. They’ve herded you all here for an unknown purpose. The echoing chants of the Smilers above seem to provide an answer for what that purpose might be.

“ PRAISE BE ONTO HIS EMINENCE, SMILEY. THE HERALD OF SAM.”



$$$



> PLEASE ENTER CUSTOMER RFID SEQUENCE
> *********
> ERROR. 2 ATTEMPTS LEFT.
> *********
> ERROR. WARNING. 1 ATTEMPT LEFT UNTIL CUSTOMER MALFEASANCE PROTOCOL ACTIVATION.
> *********
> SUCCESS.
> WELCOME TO WAL-INCORPORATED INTER-COMMUNICATIVE CUSTOMER SERVICE NETWORK BETA. HOW MAY WE HELP YOU TODAY?
> PROCESSING........
> LOADING ........
> AUTHETICATING .........
> OPENING CUSTOMER INTERFACE MENU .........
> ACCESS GRANTED. WE HOPE THAT YOU ARE SATISFIED.












$$$


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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rockette
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Rockette && 𝚊 𝚕 𝚙 𝚑 𝚊

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so cool.
i've a few character ideas milling about. leaning heavy towards the cult angle though.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Bork Lazer Chomping Time

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so cool.
i've a few character ideas milling about. leaning heavy towards the cult angle though.


Sounds good. Anything is possible in the Wal. Keep in mind that your character is currently being kept as a prisoner in Smiler territory, though.

Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rockette
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Sounds good. Anything is possible in the Wal. Keep in mind that your character is currently being kept as a prisoner in Smiler territory, though.


hell, even better. I’m pretty much decided at this point.
I’ll start working on the CS and have it up within this week.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Opposition
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Opposition 𝕋𝕖𝕔𝕙𝕟𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪

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Sheets approaching within the next day or few days, noble Wal-Master.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by ML
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I see you’ve narrowed the scope a bit this time around
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Bork Lazer Chomping Time

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I see you’ve narrowed the scope a bit this time around


I mean, it was either this or doing an IKEA roleplay.
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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by ML
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Now that would have been something
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Opposition
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Opposition 𝕋𝕖𝕔𝕙𝕟𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪

Member Seen 7 mos ago

Here is sheet #1, boss. I had two different ideas vying for control, and may try to formulate the other next week when I have time. Let me know what you think.

I would like my Wal-Coupons now.

Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Bork Lazer Chomping Time

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Here is sheet #1, boss. I had two different ideas vying for control, and may try to formulate the other next week when I have time. Let me know what you think.

I would like my Wal-Coupons now.





I really love that fluff text in your Resume about the inner workings of the Stationary Shogunate. Shit like this is what the Wal was made for. There were ideas that I had for a faction that lived in the vents and on the Roof Tops but I digress. I could nitpick stuff like Bushido having been bastardised into Brushido by the Stationary Shogunate and other minor things, this is a really good sheet.

My only complaint is that you didn't make this more insane that it already is.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Opposition
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Opposition 𝕋𝕖𝕔𝕙𝕟𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪

Member Seen 7 mos ago

<Snipped quote by Opposition>



I really love that fluff text in your Resume about the inner workings of the Stationary Shogunate. Shit like this is what the Wal was made for. There were ideas that I had for a faction that lived in the vents and on the Roof Tops but I digress. I could nitpick stuff like Bushido having been bastardised into Brushido by the Stationary Shogunate and other minor things, this is a really good sheet.

My only complaint is that you didn't make this more insane that it already is.


That's to come in the next one.
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