I need help with real life stuff.

[Rare]

Well, this is a long and odd story but I'll make it short:

I have a friend, it's a guy, that makes me laugh and lifts me up each day when I have a bad day and I'm in love with him. His name is Marco and we both go to my town's high school, he is Philippines-American and had a tough life. I'm not going to share that part of his life, since I'm his friend after all. In short, he is a band member at my high school's band and he is a person that is neat and looks like he is all clear. Also, he is in the swimming team.

Anyways, I met him in my history to a friend of my in 9th grade and at the time I was still thinking about my sexuality. Now jump two years and I'm still mad in love with him. I can't tell anyone in fear of facing hate towards me and the fear of being alone again. I also can't tell him the truth and because of that I haven't hang out with him and when I do, I make myself to be odd and shit. I don't know if my friends are homophobia or not, but I'm still scare of the aftermath of me coming out. And I feel like that I'm weak, a coward, and a liar now from not tell him and my friends the truth. Please help out and I just want to know how I should come out or just keep to myself.

How can killers confess their crimes, while I can't tell some guy that I'm in love with him? This isn't the main question and I'm not even such if Spam or even this is a important place to talk about my feelings.

(If you don't know me, I'm a guy and I'm a Bisexual)

[idlehands]

Why would people hate you for being in love with him? Love doesn't abide by rules, I would suggest telling him at some point before it eats you up inside. It's between you and him, no one else.

[Rare]

idlehands said
Why would people hate you for being in love with him? Love doesn't abide by rules, I would suggest telling him at some point before it eats you up inside. It's between you and him, no one else.

Well, being a guy and bisexual is hard, and it's harder in a town that has 20,000+ people.

[idlehands]

Oh, well that would be my error. I thought you were female. Damned avatars.

I could understand the trepidation and the fear of reprisal then.

[Wayne]

I came out of the closet for a while, but then I went back in when I decided that I see my bi-curiousity as inconsequential as the fact that I'm a Fallout fan.

As far as anyone else knows, you two are just friends. Try to keep your romantic relations as private as you can right now. If you're still interested in pursuing a relationship with him or another guy, try and move to a more gay-friendly place if you can.

That's all I can really suggest, I'm afraid.

[Cpt Toellner]

idlehands said
Oh, well that would be my error. I thought you were female. Damned avatars. I could understand the trepidation and the fear of reprisal then.

It doesn't matter what gender he is, love is love, and your original advice still stands. Rare, handle it the way you want, but straight up telling him and dealing with the consequences will be far better than hiding who you truly are and letting it destroy you from the inside.

So what if your friends are homophobic? Then they are not the right friends for you, you are young, and I promise that once you move out of school, most of your old friends will not matter at all.

[Rare]

Tha for the help so far. I will have to think about it more, but I might just tell him in private.

[Holmishire]

Have you ever broached the subject of homosexuality and bisexuality with your friends? If you're worried about it, you could discuss the subject from a purely philosophical point of view before revealing yourself to be of that grouping.

Of course, this depends on whether or not you're the type of people to randomly discuss political, philosophical, and ideological viewpoints as a means of everyday conversation. But I'm sure there are ways of edging the subject into focus, though it may take a bit of patience.

[Hank]

idlehands said
Why would people hate you for being in love with him?

How wonderfully naive.

[Halo]

Holmishire said
Have you ever broached the subject of homosexuality and bisexuality with your friends? If you're worried about it, you could discuss the subject from a purely philosophical point of view before revealing yourself to be of that grouping.Of course, this depends on whether or not you're the type of people to randomly discuss political, philosophical, and ideological viewpoints as a means of everyday conversation. But I'm sure there are ways of edging the subject into focus, though it may take a bit of patience.

I think this is a good piece of advice. Gauging people's reactions to it would hopefully put you at ease and help you to make a decision about coming out. Some people say you should come out regardless of whether you'll be hated for it, but I'm not sure I agree. If you've still got years of high school left, being ostracised can be even lonelier than being secretive. Particularly if you don't really define yourself by your sexuality much, then just not discussing it can be not dissimilar from, as Wayne said, not discussing your love of Fallout or something, whereas being ostracised for it is horrible all around. Whereas, if you're closer to the end of high school, maybe you may as well just come out.
But, well, if the homophobic atmosphere was really strong then you'd likely already know about it. It'd be palpable, obvious to an extent. If that's not the case, then you'll probably not find total ostracisation greeting you. If any friends ditch you because of it, you've dodged a bullet 'cause they were shitty friends.

What's sure is that romantic issues can and should be kept private - if you really like this guy, and therefore (I'd hope) really trust him, then telling him in private may be a weight off of your chest (if it doesn't go anywhere) or even the beginning of a relationship (if it does), and if he is trustworthy would not go beyond the two of you. ^^

Hank said
How wonderfully naive.

She thought Rare was a girl, thus loving a guy would be just peachy in the eyes of even idiotic, homophobic fuckwads.

[Aragorn]

Screw the haters and do what needs to be done. If it gets bad, we're here for you! And I say tell your friends. If they are true friends, they will offer you support you will need.

[Rare]

Well, I couldn't tell him, because he wasn't at school... so that sucks ;p Maybe next week I'll try again.

[Sole]

What a rare thread.

Good luck!

[aza]

Sole said
What a rare thread.Good luck!

ugh

[Svenn]

Rare said
Well, I couldn't tell him, because he wasn't at school... so that sucks ;p Maybe next week I'll try again.

Do you see him out of school? Because Telling him at school isn't probably the best idea.

[Robeatics]

Rare said
Tha for the help so far. I will have to think about it more, but I might just tell him in private.

That's definitely what I suggest. I've had a few crushes on female friends (lady bisexual here) and it will probably help to let him know in private that you're bisexual, give him a week to digest, and then let him know of your feelings. It'd be tough, but might break it to him better if he doesn't have any kind of experience with queer people.

[Rare]

Svenn said
Do you see him out of school? Because Telling him at school isn't probably the best idea.

He is busy after school with homework and other things, so I can't make time from him to talk..

[Gwazi Magnum]

I have to agree with Holmishire and Halo. Try to get a decent idea of what your friends (specifically the boy you're interested in) opinions of LGBT first. If they respond negatively, only be honest about your sexuality if you feel like you're fine (and safe) taking the harassment for it. If not, just don't say anything, but do take efforts to distance yourself away from those 'friends' and work on find actual friends to hangout with.

If they respond positively though, then you're in the clear.
However, even if this wasn't a LGBT topic I would still suggest telling him you like him public. Not because it's homosexual, but because telling a friend you like them is a big thing regardless of the sex of those involved, and it's own respectful to tell him in private.

Sole said What a rare thread.