Ariamis

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste was beginning to get mildly frustrated due to a number of complications in his grand plans for the dungeon and it's operation. For one, building more chambers and hallways proved difficult, with the dungeon itself seemingly resisting attempts to mould it. He hypothesized that because the Crystal of Authority has been split into separate Shards, and with the holders of the Shards having different views and motives, the power of dominion over the dungeon itself was divided and weakened. Still, some progress was made, though his attempts to fulfill the Oracle's requests were futile, the Core Room refusing to comply to the blueprints. In the end, the upper management settled on carving unholy symbols and records of their achievements, which pleased Muste. He just wished his tentacles looked less like a weird, fleshy beard in the hieroglyphs. He enchanted the carvings with a minor illusion to give them small motion, giving life to the core room's atmosphere.

Another point of resistance was with his magical studies. Though he failed to understand the artifacts they had, he gained enough of an understanding to deduce that their power came from a uniform, infallible source, and that they could always be used exactly as previously determined, with no deviation aside from the various forms given by the Polymorphing artifact. The illusory walls, another point of study, were controllable by Kleine, allowing them to be moved or created according the the core's limitations. Small victories, but the illithid took every one he could.

As he was pondering on the types of magical traps that could be made and excavating the dungeon, Zoppy would occasionally offer trade in various little knick-knacks she would have. And just as promised, Muste would continue to trade in enchanted items: not only feathers, but also other small animal parts, like a rabbitt's foot, a fox tail, and so on. Any pieces of bread would continue to be converted to new loaves, and eventually a small stream was found in the wilderness, allowing him to use Purify Water to create drinkable water in bone cups and buckets. However, he wished to build a proper well and piping to provide water throughout the dungeon for various purposes. Something to add to his numerous designs.

The monotony of their everyday life came to an end when Zogi came up to him in the midst of his work, having made proposals for the dungeon's development trajectory. The illithid raised a curious eyebrow, followed by facial tentacles curling into a shape resembling a smile. "Ah, is that so, Zogi? Truth be told, I had not noticed." He tapped his chin with a hand tentacle. "A chamber dedicated to flora and agriculture would not only improve employee well-being, it would also provide a handy source of components for my research. I have been intending to survey the adventurer camp anyway, so we could also begin procuring the requested materials. Zogi, you are a reliable and hard-working employee. Thank you." He left the bed, and made a tour of the dungeon. "Would anyone like to accompany me to procure items for a dungeon-grown Grove?" He asked the other monsters.

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste was concentrating on the excavation project when an interruption in the form a slight shake to the bedframe opened his clear blue eyes, followed by a slight sway of his facial tentacles, like a colony of lethargic worms. His eyes looked down to see the less desirable goblin, whom he recalled was called Zoppy, offering an exchange of goods. The illithid did not believe in superstition like good luck, but the offer nonetheless intrigued him: sometimes mana was imbued into natural elements in great quantities, resulting in naturally enchanted items. It was not an avenue of study he deigned too small to ignore. He has also observed the tenacious nature of the mutant, willing to engage in commerce even when starting out with empty pockets. Such optimism and determination was to be nurtured if the dungeon were to succeed.

"A shiny, you say?" He asked, and reached into his pocket, where he kept the feathers from the small bird. He inaudibly mumbled a spell, and then brought out one of them, presenting it to Zoppy: the feather gleamed golden, emanating a gentle light. "This should suffice for trade, yes?" A simple spell of light, but even a simple enchantment had value in it. "I will trade more of these for anything interesting you may obtain in the future."

Regardless of if Zoppy agreed or not, he would continue with his prior duties, glancing with a raised eyebrow at the rat stuck in Sal's cleavage. "Strange place for storage...Oh, thank you," he noted, grasping the filthy piece of bread from the offering rat. He concentrated his mana, and used the piece as a component for casting Create Simple Food: a plain loaf of bread barely the size of a fist. He took a piece bigger than what the rat gave, and handed that back to the rodent. "Share this with the other rats. The less time searching for food is more time working on the dungeon."

March of the White Rabbit: A Roll-Your-Own Magical Girl Roleplay

Lily listened intently as Alexander recounted the most important parts of the passage secret, glad that she had someone as level-headed as him to remember. She then realized from his musings that they were at risk of being spotted.

”Oh, you’re right! Um…There!” She pointed towards a spot of wilderness, where a couple of trees stood amidst the grassy plains that surrounded the castle. Branch Nose understood with a heavy nod, and briskly stepped his way there, blending in with his surroundings by standing perfectly still, just in time to avoid a patrolling guard that passed over the western wall. “Your friend is quite observant,” he spoke softly to Gaia. “I did not think that I would be seen. Us trees are usually ignored.”

However, despite their immediate issue being solved, there was still the problem of the patrolling guards. Lily frowned at Connie’s solution.
”That would cause a lot of noise…” She sadly spoke while scratching her cheek. But Gaia, the wisest Mahou in their group, came up with an ingenious plan utilizing covert use of narcotics applied via animal-carried payload. But just as the animals were given the bulbs…Mayra happened.

“Intruder!” The guards were quick to point and shout at the feisty dragongirl with a sailor’s mouth while taking cover from the exploding fireballs, scorching the stonework black on impact. One of them called in with a gem-embedded communication device, not unlike the one utilized by the March Hare in Penrose.
“HQ, come in!”

“This is HQ.”

“Patrol here! Enemy sighted!”

“Understood. Sending reinforcements. Pursue and eliminate.”

The drawbridge dropped down mightily, and a squadron of ten Club Soldiers rode out on winged horses. Soon enough, three Spade soldiers could be seen leaving from a large window of one of the side towers, sprinkling fairy dust as they flew, carrying their trademark heavy weaponry with ease. Lily did not waste time when the coast was clear.

”Now’s our chance! Thanks Mayra! Let’s go!”

---

For once, Mac’s suspicions proved correct, as she successfully noticed several subtle differences in the Penny before them from the Penny they have come to know: for one, she possessed a less potent magical aura about her, like a candle covered by a glass compared to the Queen of Penrose herself, who boasted a considerable presence in a crowd. She also had uncanny differences in details of her armor. The warden of fate saw what looked like a Wonderland gem embedded in her chest: it shone a vibrant yellow as magical energy sparkled within. Finally, the girl seemed more robotic than usual, showing more subdued reciprocation of affection as she was hugged by MDP, patting her on the head a couple of times.

Penny smiled as she released MDP.
“I’m glad to see you too, Magical Dream Princess,” she said.
”That’s a lot of friends you’ve made there.”
She glanced to look at the crowd, and nodded as the pastel-colored dream weaver confirmed that the others had departed back to Penrose.
”Oh, I think they’ll return in time for the big finale: I trust that Alicia will arrive in time. Nefer’s also coming along.” She lifted a thumb back at the truck, and at Nefer, who waved at them. When she lifted her arm, Mac recognized the glint of familiar metal in the underside of her limb: it was Wonderland robotics technology, exactly like what the hatbots and chessbots had.
“So, should we get going?”

---

Kimble nodded, and saluted with a smile. “I’ll be careful, Alicia. You just make sure you end this war!” Rachel did not waste time as she turned to Elora. “Drop us at the Queen’s castle. We’re heading in now.” The technomancer saluted, and began typing away on a floating keyboard, connecting wirelessly to the teleporter’s controls.

“Priming teleport…” She announced, making sure Alicia, Ronin and Miko were in the departure zone before pressing the final key.

“Teleporter ready. Activating…”

And with that, the group once again found themselves leaping through the fabric of space, reality unfolding in a flash of light before they found themselves back in the whimsical, if capricious, world of fairytales.

More specifically, they were at a forested section next to the main road. Ahead of them was the royal castle. “Strange,” Rachel would comment, adjusting her glasses. “The drawbridge is down, and there are no guards, only fresh tire tracks…”

However, as the others were looking at the castle, Miko would notice that one of the trees on the west side was actually a monster: it was seemingly chasing after some of the local animals carrying something fruit-like, as if they had stolen from it. The animals and tree then disappeared behind the corner of the wall surrounding the castle.

---

The Queen, for the very first time, was shocked, her mouth wide open as she reeled from Mariette’s initial outburst. “Alice!” Was the only thing she could say at that exact moment. However, before she had the chance to get properly upset, Mariette quickly took advantage of the mad monarch’s confusion, and pivoted to a question she could not ignore.

The Queen was silent, and glanced intermittently at Mariette, and then at her own mirrors, where her congregated corps could be seen.

“...Is it true, dear Alice?” She asked, as if to buy time to contemplate the idea.
“To proceed so quickly, is that truly wise? Penrose is full of enemies. Even with my Storyslayer, it would be a great struggle if the ignorant slaves are as vicious as before.” She absentmindedly placed her forefinger against her cheek, lightly puncturing the skin, and drawing a trickle of blood.
“Then again, that is what the Grand Magistrate would expect. They want a protracted, long siege, so they can properly gather everyone to Penrose’s defense. They always were ones to drag things out to a crawl.” She dragged the sharp crimson nail down her cheek, leaving a red line in its wake. Her lips curled into a manic grin.
“Yes…They would not see such a development. It would be a fitting twist to their tidy tale, a wrinkle in their writing and a crease in their chapters. Hoo-hoo-hoo!” She laughed, holding the back of her hand up to her mouth.
“Once again, you show the most clever side of yourself, my dear Alice. Yes, let us depart: once we have prepared the mirrors including the Black, we will reach our desired denouement.” She stood up, and a new mirror appeared before her. On the other side, Mariette saw the Gryphon.

“Gryphon, continue preparing the invasion as planned.” The monstergirl bowed with her upper body. “As you will,” she replied curtly with a proud voice. Then, another mirror appeared in Mariette’s room: the Queen stepped through it with a smile.
“Cheshire Cat,” she called for the servant, and she opened the door with a curtsy.
“You called, Your Meowjesty?”

“It seems Alice and I will be late for dinner. Take it away.”

“Your word is my command,” she answered, and swiftly took the tray again. As she did, the small note that rested against the apple dropped off, descending to the floor in gentle sways like a dainty leaf. The queen did not seem to notice this, as she now offered her hand to Mariette: it still had a stain of blood on the fingers from before.
“Now then, are you ready to depart?”

---

It took some time to focus, but Chloe found members of Mariette's Rebel Princesses. In one glimpse, Mermaid Princess was leading the charge riding a mighty orca that swam through a large rapid cutting through the countryside. In another, the Pea Princess, though occasionally dozing off was being woken up by dark fairies while riding a Green Helm command jeep. In yet another vision, Snow White, clad in mighty armor of comet born steel, complete with a facemask resembling a bearded fierce warrior, rode in a steam tank of gargantuan proportions, the dwarves marching in rhythm with it's hissing. Finally, the Lilliput Princess had led the Green Helms to the Forest Princess' domain having lured royalists into a deadly ambush, the verdant branch-horned Vassal having exacted nature's fury on them.

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste was oblivious to the plan he was about to ruin with his query, and blinked as the serpentine monster turned towards him with spite in her eyes. "Um, what are you-BLBLBLHHH!" Despite having slightly slippery skin, he was successfully grabbed in the headlock, his tentacles flailing comedically like an octopus caught in a net, some of them lightly slapping around by instinct as he was choked into silence. A telepathic message of panic-stricken urgency to cease her hostility pinged in her mind a couple of times, but in the moment it was as strong as a phone beeping in one's pocket.

Finally, the illithid was released, and the pencil-necked nerd coughed while holding to his neck with a tentacle, causing some ink to drip to the stone floor. "The room? Was there something I missed?" He asked, having missed the lie she had made for Zoppy. However, she then afterwards rejected his offer, demanding clean bones. Muste questioned why the bonecrafter cared about such, but figured it was more a matter of pride than practicality at that point, and conceded.
"Very well," he answered in a hoarse voice, bowing his head in an apologetic way. "My apologies for interrupting. I'll get clean bones for you." He proceeded to use his facial tentacles to horrifying effect, melting the flesh to a malleable, goo-like viscosity, before slurping the bones right out like chunks of chocolate chips from jello pudding. The tentacles swiped the bones clean in an almost tongue-licking movement, before they were once again offered to Sal. "Clean bones, as per your request."

After the offer was made and possibly accepted or rejected, Salbjörg moved on to address the Schnupfen and the alarming discovery about the pendant, which the Oracle had enchanted himself with. Despite still reeling from the wrestling maneuver, Muste nonetheless showed life in his eyes, and hurried over to inspect the item once the long-nosed phantom had pried it off with an implement. "Fascinating. It seems the amulet possesses a potent, if chaotic magical effect." He lifted the artifact telekinetically. "I could study this artifact, and see if I could learn it's secrets. Of course, I will also contribute to the dungeon expansion effort."

Having finished speaking with a slightly strained breath, he took off his hat and coat, placed them neatly on the bed, and then sat next to them in a cross-legged seating. He focused his mind, and telepathically controlled several pickaxes, using them to dig and aid the other monsters. He also took breaks to research magic such as the illusory walls, the crystal core, and the artifacts like the amulet, writing down notes with his pathetically small quill. After he ran out of his papyrus, he moved on to using the available leather as a new canvas. He also pondered about reading the room, and came with an idea to confound adventurers who would arrive, with a trap made entirely of ink.

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste felt woozy after he first exited the dungeon: he now understood why his kind preferred the dank darkness of the underworld even if it was farther away from their preferred prey. However, it fortunately didn't turn out to be an insurmountable hurdle to overcome, as he saw that they were in what looked like a dense forest that stretched as far as they eyes could see: there were no roads, and no human-built buildings or constructs...aside from the bag of food the intruder left at the entrance which the dungeon's rats quickly devoured.

Speaking of food, the birdbrains were pathetic, and a morsel not usually worth the use of his psionics. However, he acquired more than just sustenance: he now had a writing implement in the form of a quill, though it was quite small. He also got some meat to offer to one of his fellow monsters as a source of motivation: a well-fed employee was a productive employee, he thought. He also got his stock of papyrus scrolls: though easy to tear, delicately handled they would do, at least for a start. He took the empty bag and headed back inside.

Upon returning, he saw that the others have gotten to work, some with expanding the dungeon, and others with sorting through the inventory procured by the Oracle. And what a haul it was: the illithid's tentacles curved upwards into a smile at the sight of not only minions and materials, but also magical items.
"Excellent work, Oracle. The wooden wagon is crucial for improving the logistics of the dungeon expansion. I would like to have the bed; it provides a better place to write scrolls on than on the floor."

He thought about giving the meat to him, but then wondered if it was appropriate: he didn't know what the mysterious being actually ate. Nonetheless, he used his tiny quill to illustrate the blueprint of his planned dungeon, and telekinetically placed it hovering in the air, to serve as instructions for their dungeon expansion.

That was when he noticed Salbjörg animating the robed skeleton in the core chamber, and remembered the bowl of bone and bone spurs lying around, and deduced the connection. He approached the serpentine monster, noting the curiously clever rats on his way as they co-operated to reach a considerable height.
"Miss Salbjörg, I believe you possess the capability for osteomancy, also known as bonecraft."
He offered the bird corpse to her.
"Could you create a pen and inkwell from this? You can have the flesh to consume as compensation for the effort."

March of the White Rabbit: A Roll-Your-Own Magical Girl Roleplay

Lily was surprised by Alex’ animal companions transforming back to normal, and giggled as they clambered over him.

”Can they transform back too? This is just like in Model Warrior Julianne! It’s so cool!”

She glanced back at him after he posed his question.

”Well, the meeting ended with Penny and Chloe making a truce and us agreeing to work with Mint, for the time being at least. With their help, we decided to split off into two groups. The other group with Alicia in it went after those Wonderland eggs, like the one we saw in Bolorton,” she said. She paused her words as she saw how Mayra passed by their group with a roll of her eyes, Brittany hanging on with a lazy smile on her.

”Uh, I think it’s been a couple of hours since we arrived here, but I’m honestly not sure. It would be bad if time passed faster in our world again,” she added, now sounding a bit concerned as well. She glanced up at Branch Nose.

”Mister Branch Nose, what time is it here?”

However, the venerable old oak could only shake his trunk as he kept stomping through the land, making sure to keep his treetop steady for Gaia. “I do not know. For us trees, there is no such thing as time, for we do not worry about keeping it. The seasons may change, years may be added to our circles, and we may even wither and die someday, yet life is so much more than counting the little hands on a clock, or thinking of the sun’s journey across the sky. We live through every moment, and every moment lives through us.”

Lily sighed; she couldn’t really disagree with him as he clearly had a different outlook on life, but it was a disappointing answer nonetheless.
”Well, thanks for answering anyway.” She glanced back at Alex again.
”So, did you and Brittany manage to escape because of this Guardian you mentioned?” She asked, curious to hear about his side of the story during their trip.

---

After a while, the group finally arrived within the vicinity of the royal castle: a moat alongside a wall surrounded the massive structure, with the drawbridge pulled up, and the occasional Club guard patrolling the walls. Lily pouted. ”So, if Chloe-ified Caterpillar is right, there should be a secret way in, right?” She mumbled, and looked around.
”Something about stones, I think? I was so mad at her, I didn’t really pay much attention.”

---

As Mac and Magical Dream Princess conversed, they could hear the sound of an engine coming from the direction of the factory. The little cactuses scurried behind the jumbo cactuar, who hopped in place, as if trying to scare away the source of the noise, which turned out to be a pickup truck with Wonderland insignia. The truck came to a stop, and a familiar magical girl stepped out: Penny. She waved at the two. They also saw Nefer in the passenger seat, who seemed busy tinkering with some kind of device.

"Sorry for being late: had to take a moment to fix this up in the garage.”
She looked around, her eyes briefly flashing, a sign of her scanning the area. “Based on the residue of teleportation magic, I’m guessing the others have already returned back to Penrose?”

---

“Agreed,” Rachel spoke after Alicia, and gave an understanding nod as the twins made their case on why they should stay with them. “You may not be strong, but you are capable enough to know your own limitations, and where to best apply yourselves. Those skills are what separates great Mahou from common ones,” she added, placing a hand on both of their shoulders. “Beacon counts itself fortunate to count you among their allies, official members or not.” She was about to continue her speech when someone arrived at the chamber from the corridor: it was Kimble, who tackle-hugged Alicia. “Alicia! You’re back! Did everything go well?”
Rachel sighed. “We succeeded in destroying the Conjuration Eggs. However, the Queen still intends to proceed with her invasion, and in fact has already begun directing her legion at Penrose. She has also taken Mariette hostage back at her castle. We intend on going there and stopping her.”

Kimble looked serious, and then looked towards the others, and finally Alicia. “You need someone to defend the city while you’re gone, right? If it’s not too much to ask, could I do it?” She asked, her eyes burning with determination.
“I don’t have too much experience, but I’ve been around the local Beacon girls long enough to know some by name. I could also ask Sally for help.”

---

The Queen seemed jubilant as Mariette placed her mirror closer to hers, and decided to take the opportunity to teach her daughter about military tactics. “My dear Alice, today I will show you how to conquer a city,” she spoke. “First, you need an army suitable for the task. And not just rank-and-file soldiers either: like an intricate machine with different cogs running inside it, an army also requires a variety of roles to function properly. Here are the Clubs: your standard troopers, equipped with gem rifles and gem grenades, with scouts as a vanguard force, and heavy weapon teams to support the main force. And here are the Hearts, whose role is to-” At that moment, Mariette heard Cheshire Cat knock on her room again. “Princess Aliceee, are you eating your dinner? If you need help, I can cut the steak into smaller morsels and feed you~” she spoke with glee.

It seems the Queen heard the exchange, as she glanced in Mariette’s direction. “Oh, don’t forget to eat your food while it’s warm, young lady. You have a lot of growing up to do after all,” she then said: it wasn’t clear whether she was genuinely oblivious about the lack of aging that regular magical girls had, or whether it was her trademark insanity.

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste's eyes lighted up at the invigorating wave of energy that enveloped him after he partook of his kin's favored food, and felt his magical powers increase by the core of the dungeon's expansion. Now, he could pursue his calling as an architect of the abyss, and designer in the dark, as possibilities for the dungeon's development raced across his mind. Even Salbjörg's wobbling and near-falling after rescue did not cause him to falter. There was a lot to do, and not enough time to do it all before more adventurers will come, now better prepared, and with vengeance.

Schnupfen brought up the illusory walls, which proved ineffective due to them needing to pass through them to confront the invader, in turn exposing them. However, even if they didn't, the small room would have quickly been searched anyway.
"We need to relocate the illusory walls to side passages," he spoke to the group. "And make ambush rooms from which we can strike as well as refuge to make our separate nests. I dislike shared working spaces. We need the kobold to begin expanding at once, and-" he stopped in his words as he realized a familiar voice spoke, and turned in surprise to see Zogi.

Muste did not recognize the goblin to be the same one that was resurrected. Indeed, he thought the goblin was a resource of the dungeon, given to them by the core for any menial labor or miscellaneous tasks they might need to perform. The question of the disappearing Shard of Authority already passed his mind as he addressed the goblin.
"Very good, Zogi. We need employees who show initiative. You can start by digging in this direction. I have a blueprint of how to-Oh." He checked through his pockets, and realized he had no scrolls or paper to write into. This was a problem: if he were to properly manage the dungeon alongside his fellow coworkers, he'd need documentation.

"I will go check the entrance, and see the world outside the dungeon," he informed the others, and walked down the linear series of chambers to the mouth of the cave the dungeon was located in, tucking his facial tentacles in his coat: he assumed he could fool humans at a distance into thinking he was a fellow traveler. If there was a road nearby, he would make sure to stick to the shadows and stay hidden. However, aside from surveying the landscape and seeing if there's any nearby signs of civilization, he would check for any nearby trees or even grass, and collect a pile of it. Then, he would transform the components into scrolls of papyrus with his magic. If there was a small bird or rabbit, he would mind blast it and eat it's brains, as well as collect a feather or piece of thin bone to use as a writing implement: if not, he would finger paint (or rather tentacle paint in his case) the dungeon blueprint he had planned with his ink into the scrolls, then hand them out telekinetically after returning.

March of the White Rabbit: A Roll-Your-Own Magical Girl Roleplay

”...Oh?” Lily did not expect Gaia, whom she considered the very embodiment of serenity and grace, to give her a stern look, and she scratched her cheek, blinking in befuddlement.
”Did I say something-” She was about to ask when she gasped at Alex piercing his ear right then and there, her surprise having been shared by Connie.
”Well, Alex can heal, so it’s not that bad,” she quickly dismissed the awkwardness with a quick shake of her outstretched fingers.

”More importantly…uhh…”

She drove her motorcycle next to the elder tree, who was still going at a leisurely jaunt, only to stop as Gaia requested to ride upon him, leaning his leafy branches down and scooping the verdant maiden up, letting her sit at the canopy. “Of course! My, I remember when there was once a squirrel that collected a stockpile of food. There were so many nuts that winter, I thought the squirrel went nuts!”

Lily looked awkward, yet she spoke up:
”Hey, mister…”

“You may call me Branch Nose, if you please,” the elder tree responded jovially. “It is a name that fits me, does it not? What with my branch that protrudes just like a nose would!”

”Okay, Branch Nose, could you, uhh…” Lily was pained at the prospect of having to ask him to go faster. Fortunately, Gaia came to the rescue once more, imbuing the elderly tree with vim and vigor.
“Ohh! I feel the power! Like a thousand springs in bloom!” The tree then sprinted, it’s long legs bounding over the grassy plains, each step launching the gnarled geriatric forward like a skipping rock. At this pace, while still a bit slower than the rainbow unicorns at full speed, was no longer a detriment to their journey, and thus they were capable of making towards the castle in the far horizon, it’s tall towers the only visible structure so far.

Meanwhile, Brittany smiled as Mayra addressed her, and patted the dragon girl on the head as she switched to a new tune:

Yes ma’m, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss
The queen, the shahbanu!
Say what you wish
It's yours, in Brittany’s
How about a few more Artifaaacts?

Have some of the weaponry
Try all of the armory
I'm in the mood to help you gal
You ain't never had a friend like me!

The unicorn was less happy about the prospects of being turned to salami, and dashed away like a thunderbolt, carrying the dragongirl and her enchanted companion, letting them easily catch up to Branch Nose and the other unicorns.

---

Viper could be seen blushing at Chloe’s flirting, and puffed up her cheeks with crossed arms, like the most stereotypical tsundere depicted in anime ever could.
“Just because you happen to be nicer than “Mister X In A Mask” doesn’t mean you can just say things like that. You're lucky I don't easily report harassment.” However, her sharp eyes turned a bit softer. “Well, I’ll consider it. But don’t think you can make me work more with flirting! Anyway, I’m going to join the cards now. Going radio silent. Over.” She then transformed into a Heart commander, and turned the corner of a nearby truck, climbing into it like a perfect impostor.

---

Rachel nodded as Alicia confirmed the plan, and a confident smile emerged on her features. She turned her eyes to Mac.
“You should stay with, what is her name again…Magical Dream Princess,” she spoke, having needed to recall the name for a short moment. “With your cock-atrice,” she quickly corrected herself with a scoff, “you can scout ahead on your way to the castle.” She watched as the pink magical girl continued playing with the cactus creatures and chased them around, the plant-like beings seemingly ecstatic about her company as they ran swiftly around in circles, likely due to her not shying away from them despite their spiny nature.

But then, the group heard the strange language spoken in the distance, though it was louder, and most alarmingly, deeper. Then, they saw it: a giant cactus with a twirly mustache was running towards them from the horizon at frightening speed, like a runaway train that cut through the desert dunes.
It was followed after by smaller cactus creatures, likely the same ones Alicia had scared off with her warning shot. However, as it came closer, it stopped with a skid, throwing sand into the air.
The cacti that played with MDP ran up to the jumbo cactus, who seemed to be a parent to the smaller ones as they huddled together. They exchanged words in their strange language, and soon enough the jumbo cactus shuffled closer, until it towered over MDP. Then, it spoke more of the cactus language, and watched the smaller cactuses as they made a cartwheel, followed by also making a cartwheel: it’s gargantuan body flipping at the kind of square-cube law-ignoring ease that could make one’s heart skip a beat from sheer astonishment.

Rachel briefly considered summoning her weapon, but she instead realized what the strange performance was meant to show. “Looks like you two won the cactus father over. Maybe you could convince it to pull your group to the castle with a sled or something. Anyway, we will now be leaving.” When the twins agreed to leaving, she raised a hand to her magicoms. “Baby birds are ready to fly,” she spoke the code phrase, and at that moment she, Alicia, Ronin, and Miko were teleported, leaving Mac, her cockatrice, Magical Dream Princess, and the whimsical party of bots and beasts behind, now joined by a giant cactus and its family.

The four of them returned to the teleporter chamber, where Elora was waiting for them.
“Inquisitor, something urgent has come up!” She spoke, and Rachel nodded. “Don’t tell me..The Queen has begun her invasion?”
“I’m afraid so,” she spoke, followed by summoning her cube, which extended a display screen showing footage from the Bolorton site to the group: they saw the various infantry trucks and tanks as they now began to move in a single convoy down the road to Penrose, leaving the fortified walls of the once peaceful farming village behind.
Rachel sighed. “Seems the Queen has decided to jump start her plans for conquest,” she commented dryly, and turned to Alicia. “Can you trust someone to hold down the fort while we invade her castle? I would like you to accompany me to this fight, Alicia…my friend,” she then admitted with averted eyes, causing Elora to blink in surprise.

---

The Queen smiled warmly at Mariette’s request, and offered a hand to her. “Of course, my darling daughter. Let’s spend some quality time together as mother and daughter, and lay devastation upon the accursed cradle of the Nexus that is Penrose.” After that, Mariette closed the mirror as a new arrival was about to enter the scene.

Cheshire Cat meowed in joy upon being granted permission to enter. “Nyanderful! Now then, if you’ll excuse me!” The door opened, and Mariette saw as the quirky maid entered, holding a silver tray: a mouth-watering steak with melted butter with a side dish of a vibrant red apple with a small handwritten note leaning on it, platinum fork and knife, a crystal drink glass, and a pitcher of finest porcelain were carefully placed on the tray.
“Greetings, Your Meowjesty! I am Cheshire Cat, the castle maid and your personal servant from now on!” She walked towards the table set to the side of the room, and placed the tray on it.
“I will now be leaving, as requested!” She then cheerfully proclaimed, as if every order she received was pure bliss for her. As she turned and began to exit the room, Mariette saw that beyond the doorway, there was a small landing before a spiral staircase descended down a circular chamber. Based on the architecture, she seemed to be at the top of a tower.

The cat-like maid briefly stopped, as if remembering something important. “Oh, before I leave, I must inform you of something important, Princess: please call on me with that bell over there whenever you want my service!” She pointed towards the wall, where a tiny ruby bell could be seen dangling from a fancy wallhook shaped like the side of a stylized heart.
“I’m ready to fulfill every wish you have, such as cooking, cleaning, bathing, changing clothes, playing, pampering, being pampered, being punched, being kicked, being stabbed, being strangled, being cut to pieces, getting immolated, getting blown up, getting shot to the moon, any kind of torture or killing you could ever desire!” She spoke in her usual cheerfulness, as if listing fun games for the princess to engage in. “After all, the Queen has told me how lonely you are, so I wish to alleviate your boredom any way I can! However, regretfully, I only have nine lives to give to my adorable princess. But I’m sure the Queen can grant me more lives should you wish to go on a killing spree! Now then, goodbye!” She then closed the door. However, Mariette could hear her humming to herself from outside the room, as if eagerly waiting for her next order.

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste came to a stop, and turned to see if the adventurer had managed to follow after him, only to swipe his brow with a tentacle in relief. However, he then realized that the less desirable goblin had seemingly stayed in the chamber with the trespasser, and that Salbjörg went for one last charge to confront him. "It seems we need team-building exercises, myself included..." He pondered, noting the general chaos when they should have stayed as a single front.

Steeling himself, Muste followed after Oracle, his grimoire open in his arm and a purple glow gathering in his eyes: he decided he would need to use his trump card and decisively end the kid's incursion. He stepped through into the chamber, his tentacles outstretched.
"Mind Bla-aa?"

He blinked, as he comprehended the scene before him: the kid was dead, his head smashed in by a rock. And floating above him was Schnupfen: he immediately deduced what the ghost had done. He then gave an aside glance at Zoppy and Salbjörg, who were stuck in the glue trap, thanks to tripping on his own spell.

The Oracle cheered at their victory, but the illithid could only shake his head. He approached the serpentine monster and mutant goblin, and offered his cane to them to hold on as he pulled, as much as a spindly squidman at least could, to remove them from the trap. "Salbjörg needs treatment," he responded to Oracle's question. Afterwards, he went to examine the fresh corpse, and slurped what little remained of his brain: it was not much, but at that moment Muste finally felt some sense of accomplishment, as he sipped the gray matter like a cup of coffee. Once he was done, he stood back up.

"We should prepare for the next invasion," he then spoke matter-of-factly.

An Idiot's Dungeon Union

Muste did not mind that his suggestions for the Dungeon Spirit's name were rejected in favor of another one: it was an important part of any meeting to evaluate the best choice based on shared agreement. As the curiously adorable goblin made a scene, he couldn't help but smile underneath his mouth-concealing tendrils: she was like a daughter that an employee brought with them on "Bring Your Child To The Office Day".
The other goblin, on the other hand, was far more suited to his tastes: he seemed obedient, and eager to please. Yes, given the proper direction, he would make for a good lackey, he thought to himself.

Muste did, however perk up as the Oracle spoke, followed by the diminutive beast proclaiming herself as secretary. Now everything was clear: the wise monster that was reminiscent of the astral masters his kind often revered, was obviously upper management. He seriously pondered the number assigned to him, and came upon an epiphany. "Yes, three...Three dungeon entrances," he mused to himself as he began plans for development, and watched as the die was cast and the name was decided. "Kleine is a good name," he admitted with a lift of his facial tentacles, as if he was smiling. "It is short and easy to pronounce." He would have mentioned that it was also marketable, but he didn't work in the marketing department, so he wouldn't honestly know if that was the case. Not that the dungeon would need one anytime soon.

Muste's thoughts were interrupted as Kleine then announced that an adventurer had entered their dungeon: the first operational risk to the dungeon that he would have to note down later. Schnupfen did not seem to take it well, but nonetheless he was the first to confront the intruder. He was not as swift to take action, as he was not too keen to face off against a stronger opponent who could easily make calamari out of him. "I need to find a spell first!" he quickly spoke to the others, and began skimming rapidly through the pages of his spelltome, even as Salbjörg and Zogi ran off, and he strutted after in a strange mishmash of running and power walking, his cane tucked under his arm as he kept leafing through the pages. By the time Muste arrived, Salbjörg had already been wounded and was slithering past him, and Zogi had died. Muste was aghast, but not because of Zogi's death: he was but a goblin after all, and there would be more where the pathetic creature came from. Rather, he mourned how his delicious oblongata had been scattered all across the dirty tiles of the dungeon floor, no more fit for consumption.

Danny smiled as he felt his physical capability increase. Just like that, he had made his very first level, just like the old man at the village told him. If he kept this up, he would reach Legend tier in no time, and grab himself a harem full of cute girls! However, he felt as the poison kept eating away at him. But first, he had business to take care of, as he heard footsteps, and turned. He cringed upon seeing Muste as he cast a spell of some kind. Danny held his sword out in a defensive stance as he ran forward, but after the flash of light, there was no fireball or bolt of thunder. "Hah, stupid squid! I'mma-AH!" He suddenly yelled, as he lost his footing, and tripped, hitting his head on the floor. Turns out that Muste had cast Grease on the floor, and as the Hero was lifting himself up the illithid was already running back in the direction of the core, not far behind Salbjörg. "Incoming!" He yelled, his facial tentacles flaring out from the force of his shout.