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8 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
9 yrs ago
On Hiatus
9 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
10 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
5 likes
10 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
6 likes

Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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I'm painting an image in my head of Sir Mauls desperately trying to hold back a swinging Drosil while he yells "Lemme at 'em, lemme at 'em, I can take 'em!" Kinda like:



Only with more hand/leg thingys and less robot.
Barcea, Southwestern Region

Joy


The pungent, unforgettable smell of a fresh slaughter may have been the first thing to assault her senses, but it was only when she got closer to the village that the true stench of burnt corpses breached her lungs. The nauseating smell had a putrid, sulfuric sweetness to it that refused to not be noticed. Joy couldn't help but be reminded of the first time she had experienced such a smell; she could still catch a whiff of the death days later. The horse she rode on wasn't as used to the scent of death. It bucked and neighed. Unfamiliar with the creature, Joy decided against risking getting thrown off of another horse and tied it to a post outside of the razed village. Hopefully it wouldn't be able to free itself before she found some kind of information. Proceeding forward alone into the wreckage, the former captain took her bow in hand and nocked an arrow. She doubted that anybody would be able to stick around in such a putrid haze, but it was better than being surprised.

The death and smoke wrapped her body in its aroma as she cautiously toed her way through the remains of the village. The final licks of flames were lapping up the remains of the attack. She could see burnt bodies that had been cut down while trying to escape or hide in the charred remnants of crops. A limb would be poking out from underneath a collapsed building here, a tattered smock there. To the raiders the men were no different from the pigs, mercilessly slaughtered where they stood and left there to die. Joy came on to what must have been the village square. She could see the charred frame of what appeared to be a church. It appeared to be fairly intact at first despite the fire damage thanks to its stone walls, but as she gazed through the smoke cloud lingering above it Joy saw the caved-in roof that had probably given the villagers who had hidden inside one final surprise. She cautiously tapped the handle to the church door and, seeing it wasn't hot, gave it a pull. There was some give, but the door was locked. Her imagination would have to fill in the rest for now.

She limped through the rest of the village, returning her arrow to its quiver as she discovered that she was the only living soul there. Using her scabbard to keep her upright, Joy analyzed what she had come across. There appeared to have been little resistance on the villagers part, as if the attack was quick and caught them off guard. The footprints pushed deeper into the ash than hers, suggesting at least some kind of heavier armor. There were too many valuables that appeared to have been deliberately destoryed and left behind to provoke some sort of response.

The go to answer was bandits, but almost everything she saw stood against that idea. True, bandits were vicious, bloodthirsty, and evil, but they had a sort of sense to how they operated. A vulnerable village far from any major city or guardpost was ripe for the picking, and could be harvested regularly every couple of months with little effort or fear of retaliation. Slaughtering an entire village, burning all the crops, and destroying all the goods wasn't just wrong, it was bad business. No, normal bandits aren't this deliberately wasteful, thought Joy as she chewed on her lip. The only people I can think of that would be this cruel and senseless are soldiers convinced that they are doing what is right for their country and kin. She frowned. If she was right that would mean Gartian had finally stopped licking his wounds from years earlier and knocked enough of his people into their place to organize an attack.

A war was good news for a bandit, but Joy couldn't help but feel disgusted. Not because some villagers had been slaughtered mercilessly by H'kelan regulars, nor because this meant an end to the decade of peace. It also wasn't the smell that made her sick, or the river of corpses she had waded through. Innocents die, that's the way it is; it was only fitting that the environment reflected that truth. No, she was disgusted with herself. When had she become so desensitized? These weren't just some villagers, they were her countrymen. She felt as if she should be outraged, even do something heroic yet stupid like swear to avenge the dead and right the wrongs of the H'kelans. There was a time when she was young that she had some sort of duty for her country and King, at least, she thought there had been. Yet now she just accepted the atrocity surrounding her as the way things were.

“Shut up,” she said to nobody. Her head hurt, perhaps from the stench, and thinking made it only worse. Her foray into the destruction had served to be a sobering one, in both senses of the word. She felt sweat form on her furrow brow; her hand shook as she reached for her flask. The alcohol mixed with the taste of death as it filled her mouth. I'll need more than that to get that flavor out of my mouth, she thought as her head cleared. Yet she did have a reason for being in this village, it would be best if she could at least stay in sight of the wagon.

She tromped through the ash back to the remains of the church; it was the only place where she hadn't checked the dead for Sentinels or Princesses. By this point, Joy was getting a sneaking suspicion that the hunter had lied to her, either out of some kind of protest against her or some kind of duty to the royalty. Good man, she thought, shaking her head in acceptance of her foolishness. It did make little sense to her that a blind teenage girl would want to travel to some backwater village so close to a dangerous boarder, let alone that her sister would allow it. As well, the lack of any real weaponry told Joy that the Sentinels had not been involved in the clearly lackluster defense of the village. Still, it would be a waste to not confirm the negative thoughts swirling around in her mind.

Reaching the locked church, Joy first looked for another way inside. The charred stone walls weren't exactly smooth or even, but she doubted she could climb them to use the collapsed roof as an entrance. The windows, likewise, were too high and too small for even a child to fit through. The doors, it seemed, was the only option. She tried them again. They seemed weak and ready to splinter, but she couldn't force it open with her hands. Perhaps a series of well placed kicks could do the job. Of course that'd be the solution, thought Joy, glancing down at her knee as it took that very moment to throb in dull pain as an added insult. Maybe a horse could pull it down? Unlikely, but it was worth a shot.

The first thing Joy saw when she made it back to the entrance of the village was the post lying horizontal on the ground, the frayed remains of a quarter of a rope still tied around the middle. She was able to fill in the rest of what had happened by what she didn't see: the horse. She gritted her teeth. Now what? Her hand already had the answer to her question uncorked and to her lips before her mind could even process it. She drank, but all she could taste was the death around her. A rare burst of guttural and emotional noises lined with what possibly could have been words escaped from her throat as she spiked the empty flask into the ash. She twisted her body unnaturally in her fit of rage. Her knee screamed in pain that was almost as loud as the curse from her mouth. Collapsing onto the post in pain and frustration, Joy buried her face into her hands.

“Just stop, you idiot,” she said through gritted teeth. “What are you even trying for?”
@The Darklight ProjectI approve of this plan.

Also, I've been working on another character. Should have him sent out to you in the next day or so once I work out all of the details.
H'kela-Barcea Border Region

Joy


The first thought that ran through Joy's mind as she was landed roughly on the ground after being flung from her horse was the same one she had each and every morning: Somehow I'm alive. Joy didn't have to see the trap to know she had been caught by one; she was too good of a rider to simply be thrown from her horse by her own fault. She propped herself up to her feet, her scabbard digging into the dirt as it supported her weight. A stinging pain circulated her face from where it had dragged across a few pebbles, and there was a shallowness of breath from having the wind knocked out of her. As well, her knee sung with agony, but that was a normal occurrence after a long day of being active. All things considered, she was dazed but okay. The same could not be said for her horse, if its whimpering was any indication of its fate. Its eulogy would have to wait. She heard the crunching of leaves. Her arrows had been scattered by her impact. Hopefully her ambusher wouldn't instantly turn her into a pincushion.

“My word, you're no elk.”

The voice belonged to a wiry, bearded man dressed in tanned, reddish leathers with a hunting bow slung over his shoulder. The worry in his eyes and the way he held himself made him look to be no bandit. Genuine concern was, generally, a rare trait in a bandit who was about to slay somebody for a lump of gold or a bite of jerky. She also somehow doubted that the man was doing it to lower her guard in someway. If he wanted to harm her, she was already at enough of a disadvantage to make such a tactic utterly pointless. Unless, of course, he had any idea who it was he was dealing with. She kept her hand on her hilt and her ears open just in case.

“Neither was he,” she said, gesturing towards the pit. Her horse had gone silent. Dead. “But I'm afraid when it comes to it pitfalls aren't the best at discerning their prey. Mind giving me a hand? I think I hurt my knee. You have a way of getting down into those pits, I assume. Could you fetch my things?”

“Suppose it would only be right.”

If there had been others she would have been aware of their presence by now. As the man disappeared down into the pit Joy set about recollecting her scattered goods. Her arrows had all been splintered during her spill. Of course. It's what I get for trying to save money and make my own. Waste of time, she thought as she picked up her flask. Uncorking the top, she put it to her lips and...nothing. The only indication that anything had even been held in it was the lingering, smokey scent of wood. That was wrong, it had only been half-empty this morning. Had she already drained it all? It made a bit more sense to her now how she had found herself off the path. I imagine the pain from this fall will be a bit rougher as the night goes on, she thought as the man came crawling out of the pit with the rest of her gear.

“I apologize for your horse,” the hunter said. “How bad is your knee?”

“I'll manage,” she said. She pointed at his waterskin. “Any brandy in there?”

“Water,” he said. He handed it over to Joy

“It'll have to do. Thanks,” she said, drinking from it greedily.

“Have some spirits back at my lodge. Food, too. It's not a far walk from here,” he said. “You won't be able to make it to any of the nearby villages before sunset. Least I can do is help you out for the night. The name's Rodger.”

“Joy.”

“A pleasure. Follow me,” said Rodger, turning his back and making his way towards a thicket of trees. “So, what were you doing off the path?”

“Hunting,” she said, her fingers teasing the hilt of her blade as she followed after the Samaritan.

* * *

The sun had gone down outside and the woods outside of the lodge were quiet except the occasional hoot of an owl. Joy sat on a stool next to the fire, her sword and bow propped up within arms reach of her as she devoured a bowl of stew. It's flavor filled her mind with painful memories. Memories which she promptly squashed with whatever swill she was poisoning her body with. The lodge was lined with many animal skins and had a well-lived in feel to it. A bed roll that the hunter said he used doing longer hunts had been laid out for her. It all had a quaint charm to it, really.Yet judging by the small cot and the fact that he only had one seat, Rodger lived there alone. The hunter had his back turned to the woman as he went about his work on the bench in front of him, skinning the hare one of his small traps had caught. Joy could smell the death even over the aroma of her stew.

“It's dangerous for a woman to be traveling on the roads these days, but it's even more dangerous to be going off of them...” said Rodgers as worked his knife. He had been talking at her for a hot minute, unable to take her dismissive hms and hahs as anything but continued interest in his ramble. Joy was more interested in what he had than what he said. His quiver by the door had a handful of quality-looking arrows left in it. The bottle she had helped herself to was absolutely foul at first, but the lingering burn covered up any vile aftertaste. If she was to be on the road she'd need a bedroll. Most importantly, she had spied a horse that Rodger used to cart skins into the neighboring village when he needed to trade.

“...my cousin warned me that I'd be smart to cross the border into H'kela since the bandits only seemed focus on Barcea villages. The other day I heard a rumor of bandit attacks happening on the other side of the border too. Nowhere's safe, even with the Sentinels out here patrolling. That reminds me, did I ever tell you of the time I met the Princess...”

Joy felt that it was no longer a question if whether or not Rodger lived in the lodge alone. He seemed so absolutely desperate for company that he didn't even mind if they didn't talk back, and if he spent more time in the civilized world perhaps he would know that almost anyone had a story of the time they had met a royal. Joy couldn't go into a bar without hearing of the time the bartender had served a beer to the Prince himself or how one of the lads had gotten the once-over and approving smile from the Queen. People would get in to contests to one up one another, each tale more tall and unbelievable than the last. There was little appeal to hearing falsities about people you had seen grow up. When not guarding her father, Joy had taken to escorting the then-princess Kori around the Capitol. She had taught Cyril how to properly hold a sword and how to take a hit. She had been there for Ayano's birth. Every time somebody spoke of how the Queen ate this and the Princess touched that was like a dagger being shoved between Joy's ribs.

“...and she said I was red, whatever that meant, and told me to take care. She was like this close,” he said, measuring with his blood-stained fingers before going back to gutting the hare. “I think they were still in town when I left yesterday.”

A spark clicked in Joy's mind. You must be drunk if you think that's a good idea,she thought, corking the bottle of spirits. She stumbled up to her feet, steadying herself against the wall as the alcohol resisted her sudden movement. It would've been a smarter idea to wait until morning, but this idea required she take action now. She grabbed her weapons.

“Which town. Where?” she said, slinging her bow over her back and silently sliding her blade out its sheath.

“Hillsborough, to the North. Why do you...” he turned, the carving knife dropping from his hand as his voice fainted into a concerned whisper. “...ask?”

“Like I said, I'm hunting. Kick the knife away,” said Joy, taking a step towards the hunter. “Here's how it's going to go. Although I appreciate your hospitality, the slaying of my horse was a great inconvenience. The way I see it, you owe me. Now, there are a couple of ways this can go. Namely, you can lie down on the floor and not get up until I say so, or I can lie you down on the floor and you can never get up. Either way I'll be taking your horse plus some interest. The choice is yours.”

“Y-you can't,” said the hunter, already getting on to his belly—the cowardly yet smart option. “Without my horse I can't sell my skins.”

“You should be more concerned about saving yours. Now shut up and close your eyes,” said Joy with a growl, banging the hilt of her weapon against the wall to add emphasis to her threat.

She didn't plan on hurting the bearded man, but she was out a horse because of his trap. There was no other clear answer to the woman. Keeping one eye on her victim, she went to wrapping up the bedroll with the bottle of spirits in it. Cradling it under one arm, she limped to the door and took a second to refill her quiver before walking towards the tiny lean-to that served as the horse's stable. Saddling the sad looking animal, Joy clambered on top of it and cut free the rope that was keeping it from wandering. With only the light from the moon and her lantern Joy navigated her way through the woods, regret weighing heavily in her heart.

* * *

Joy had set out the next dawn after a rough sleep near the edge of the treeline. She had been right that she'd feel her fall in the morning; her entire body ached with a dull pain. Still, she could not dwadle. Riding down the road through a grassy plain, distant hills gave her a sense of relief that she was on the right track. However, as the sun rose higher in the sky and the hills drew closer the relief was turned into a feeling of dread, for Joy could see a very familiar plume of black smoke rising in the air. Kicking the sides of her stolen horse she burst into a gallop, knowing already that there was little hope for getting her plan to work if they were all dead.
Alright! Had a decently busy past few days, but I should be able to get a post up this evening.
Sorry for the silence. Nursing a hangover after going a little too hard at the bar last night. Still, I'm very excited to check out everyone's characters. The rest of ya'll better stop slacking!

Anyway, my character will most likely start in some H'kela-Barcea border town making questionable life decisions. I'll try and PM you more helpful details the minute I make them up.
Well, it took me the greater part of the day but after trashing my first duder, spending a gross amount of time getting distracted by diving into Wikipedia (if you guys want to know the history of scabbards I got you), drinking ~3 cups of coffee, and watching only a handful of Youtube videos of people shooting arrows into meat I finally finished my character! :D

PM going out to you boss man with my sheet the minute I finish looking over it.
Hey, this seems pretty neat! I do have a few questions...

1. Of the God Kings mentioned, how many of them are still alive and kicking it? Is it common knowledge what happened to each one?

2. If you got a dead God King, what happens to a person who was Remade? Do they go back to how they used to be, or are they still a fanatic?

3. How advanced is technology? Medieval fantasy where we get swords, spells, horses, and torches, or is it a little further ahead because "eh, magic"? Magic light bulbs? Magic trains? Magic flintlock pistols? Magic M60s with magic ACOG scopes!?
Well, seems like the rest of us are all still up for this. So keep those plans rolling. Maybe drop a fresh interest check?
I think everyone had a prog rock phase. Mars Volta used to be my jam. Just don't dig too deep, Shoh. Eventually you find yourself listening to hour long drone songs just to feel normal.

I used to be one of those classic rock guys where music stopped being made around 1982. These days I try to stay with newer releases on the more "indie" side of things, although I've been falling behind lately. Only got a handful of new albums last year. I'd say my taste nowadays tend to lean towards either folksy or baroque rock, some electronica, and punk. Been listening to the newest Titus Andronicus album that came out the other day. So good!
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