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2 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
3 yrs ago
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3 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
4 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
4 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.


Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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Goddamn did that look painful! Vashti had intended to knock Kara down, but she didn’t expect it to be that successful. She would’ve felt pretty bad for absolutely dunking on the poor girl if she wasn’t too focused on getting the big W. She hopped up to her feet, ignored the pain in her chest, and yoinked the flag right out of that creepy tree arm. With a victorious whoop, Vashti started booking it to their goal. Gosh, she couldn’t wait to see the look on their idiot, monkey-brained faces when she won the game for her team. Vashti decided she wouldn’t trashtalk after her glorious victory. After all, no words existed that could describe the superiority of the Lizard Queen and her minions over Madison’s dinosaur team of boneheads.

As she neared the goal she turned to stick her tongue out at the losers, deciding that it was totally okay to be a complete, unsportsmanlike tool before her glorious victory. The blown raspberry morphed into a sharp “Oh fuck!” as Vashti’s vision was filled by Madison, with her arms out, in full bone regalia, soaring through the air at her. Soon Vashti was also soaring through the air as the entirety of Jurassic Park slammed into her. Instantly, Vashti dropped the flag. It was gone from her hands and then gone from her mind as she crashed into the ground, the back of her skull cushioning the blow. Utterly dazed, Vashti tried to sit up only to find herself pinned under the weight of Madison and the Jaws. Winded by the hit, a silent scream was strangled to death in her throat as she felt the pain rush back to her Outsider scar like it was a fresh wound.

And then she felt something even worse. The all too familiar sensation like she was drowning began to overtake her as the thing inside swelled like a massive tidal wave to wash away any illusion of her control. Vashti tried to warn Madison, to scream at her, but all she managed to do was thrash about like a fish gasping for air. Everything started to go black as she began sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean of her subconscious.

Herik’s quarter!

If Vashti could focus, she could achieve Gnosis and stop the Leviathan from trading the bones on Madison’s outside with the ones on her inside. Vashti fought against the undertow so that she could keep control, her hands trying to slip into her pockets. However, Madison was not making it easy. Still, she managed to move them enough to feel the soft fabric and nothing else with her fingers. Shit. Vashti’s head drooped to the side as she looked towards the sidelines, searching for her jacket where she’d left the coin. Shit!

She looked back up at Madison. Vashti really hated her guts now, but the Leviathan wanted to kill her. She had to do something. Vashti inhaled deeply. If she could warn Madison, maybe the girl could get away. The Leviathan wasn’t as fast as her. She’d be safe. The others would be safe. Her vision blacked out, and then faded back in. She was still in control. She still had a chance.

“Madison...please,” said Vashti. Her voice was distant and empty, but her watering eyes were full of terror as she began to cry. “Please. I’m sorry. Please run.”

Quietly, in the distance, Vashti swore she heard thunder.

The thunderclap of a palm smacking a forehead rumbled throughout the grove as Vashti watched Madison hammer throw two of her teammates like they were ragdolls. She began to lightly jog towards the flag, waiting for Claudette to call the game the moment Maya or Kara broke their necks upon botching their landings. She didn’t see them hit the dirt, because Emily beefed it right next to her. Vashti covered her mouth to stifle a surprised laugh, and then yelped as a lion and a fox nearly trampled her.

She glanced down at the glow around her feet and then back at her team. None of them were looking her way. So, it seemed like Mariah’s abstraction worked. Good. Maybe Emily wouldn’t notice how Vashti just left her in the dirt then. Sorry, but she had a flag to snag. She moved away just in time to accidentally dodge Grace’s lightning and just barely get her ears popped by Maya’s soundblast. She doubled her pace, which wasn’t all that fast. The girl wasn’t much of an athlete, or maybe the SPF one million sunblock Claudette had cast over the field was making her feel lethargic.

“Vashti, catch!”

Vashti snapped to attention and reached her arm out to oh fucking god where was the flag even going? She slapped her forehead so hard this time that she stunned herself, but then she quickly shook her frustration off. The problem with Mariah’s abstraction was that it worked both ways. It was the only justification Vashti could come with for Isla just handing the flag to the other team and fuCK THEY WERE GOING TO LOSE!


Vashti booked it towards Kara. A dull pain in her chest became sharp as her rapid motions aggravated her old, largely healed wound from the Outsider. She ignored it and forced herself forward. Her vision tunneled on Kara like she was a baby deer lapping up at the edge of her river just ready to get snatched up. Coming in from the side, Vashti hoped that Mariah’s abstraction would still keep her unnoticeable before it was too late for Kara to react. With a shout she went in for a slide tackle in an attempt to knock Kara to the ground. Once the girl was down, she’d wrench the flag from her weird tree arm and be off before the stupid primate even knew what fucking hit her.

Vashti swatted at the mosquito as it landed on her neck and grumbled. How was she the one attracting all of the bugs when she hardly showed any skin? It was a sign, an omen of biblical proportions, that something bad was going to happen. Vashti made for certain that something apocalyptical went least for the mosquitoes, as she released a sweet cloud of deet all around her from a spray can she’d found tucked amongst the junk kept in the compartment of Emily’s moped. Never had the bloodsuckers been dealt a more devastating defeat. Generations of pests were lost that day. She put the can back with Emily’s stuff and joined the rest of the girls with her head held high, for she was Vashti, Destroyer of—bzzt.

Fuck! She smacked the back of her neck, feeling more cursed than ever. The growing feeling of impending doom only hit heavier as Claudette drew out a flag. Their training was going to be an overly competitive and extremely risky game of capture the flag? Vashti swallowed the lump in her throat and chided herself for being stupid enough to think they were going to do some team-building, trustfall, corporate picnic-in-the-woods bullshit. Herik almost immediately asked her to join his team. If she wasn’t so terrified of what she might do if one rogue elbow hit her in the nose she would’ve been flattered, because she was clearly not going to be much of an asset.

“Thanks, dude, but I think I’m better fit to cheer from the sidelines. Rather not ruin another outfit,” said Vashti with a smile.

Vashti moved through the field as Mariah and Isla came to join the team she was abandoning. She felt like she was in a high school gym class once more on her way to tell the coach some lie to get out of running the mile. She knew that Herik wouldn’t force her to participate, but she felt like Claudette would be annoyed if she saw Vashti just standing around while everyone else was playing the silly game. Vashti knew she was already on Claudette’s shitlist, but surely their leader was smart enough to see that this was for the best? Vashti coughed to get Claudette’s attention as she took her position as the ref.

“Excuse me, but…”

And then Vashti saw it: Madison, leaning over to Maya, whispering, laughing, looking at Vashti. A chill of ice went down Vashti’s spine as she caught Madison glancing away from her. She didn’t need to hear what the other girl had said to know what was going on. High school again. A ragged breath escaped her mouth as Vashti’s serpentine eyes turned back towards Claudette. Vashti smiled a little tight lipped smile as she roughly shrugged off her black jacket and dumped it on the ground. She ripped off her headscarf and dropped it on top. Shedded of her old skin, Vashti rolled up the sleeves of her blouse and exposed her scales.

“Could you watch my shit?” she hissed, running back to Herik’s group before any affirmation.

She arrived just in time for Mariah to begin coming up with their game strategy. Vashti nodded her head as Mariah suggested she would be least likely to be noticed—hell, the other new girl had outright ignored her back at the beach house. She smiled a crooked grin at the idea of her being the one to take the flag and show up Madison.

“Boom bam,” echoed Vashti, complete with her own snaps that were not nearly as impressive as Mariah’s. “I love it. I fricking love it.” She felt a storm brewing inside of her as she glanced at the other team. Her eyes narrowed. She wanted nothing more than to win. Fuck, she wanted to win! She began to bounce on the balls of her feet to keep herself hyped, throwing a cocky grin towards Emily and Herik.

She slowed as Quinn approached their group, worried that the others had sent a spy to steal their super secret strats and stopped dead as the girl apologized for getting her name wrong. Much to Vashti’s surprise, she offered to join their squad. The girl was a summoner. There was nothing more distracting than a giant flying creature ripped straight from mythology. It’d make their plan impossible to fail. Vashti started bouncing again.

“Yes dude! Yes! You’re totally in!” she said, rolling her shoulders to get herself loose. Were the teams even balanced anymore? Who cares. She wasn't here for a fair fight. She was her to win some goddamn bragging rights.“Let’s fucking ruin these bitches.”
@silvermist1116There's a whole underground scene where people used sealed apparitions to d-d-d-d-duel.

@Atrophy Leviathan and Chompy must fight for superior reptile status.

True fight is between the Leviathan and Mariah for who's the true queen of the Coven.

Vaati? repeated Vashti with a huff. It was nice for something she said to actually be agreed upon for once, and she thought that perhaps she was gaining some clout with the Coven. Then again, if she had any clout then Quinn would’ve known her name. Vashti was still a bottom tier witch bitch. She was pretty sure Chompy outranked her. She squinted at the “familiar” sunning by the pool before visibly wincing. Imagine being jealous of an alligator. God, where’d she go wrong?

Right. Meeting a stranger on the Internet to learn magic. That’s where she’d gone wrong.

"... Maybe she doesn't want to kill all of us," Emily started, "Maybe Izzy stumbled upon something she shouldn't have... or knowing her, she was having an affair with Liao and she iced Izzy before it could be made public."

“That’s!” Vashti pointed her finger at Emily as if she were about to object, but then dropped it. She tilted her head as she rubbed her chin. “Possible. I mean, the idea that anyone in DENS was screwing around with any of us is just ridiculous but Izzy could’ve learned something she shouldn’t have.”.

The flash of a grin was covered by her hand, but Vashti couldn’t mask the twinkle in her eye. Izzy’s death could end up being a full-blown conspiracy. How many of Annabelle’s victims were truly government inside jobs to take out enemies of the police state? Perhaps another girl in the Coven had ratted her out. DENS seemed pretty damn capable of finding them. Then again, they wouldn’t really need a mole when they could just track their phones. They should throw all of their cells on a Greyhound bus to New York just in case. Go off the grid, get new identities, move to Cuba, and—Vashti shook her head and returned to reality.

"... I found a lead on Babylon."

Vashti cocked an eyebrow that quickly warped into a look of disgust as Emily elaborated on her unquestionably worse half. Plus, who was Molly? Had a member of the Coven died before Vashti had joined? Vashti frowned as she thought of the potential body count. She was about to voice her concern when Lyss powered through her hangover and spoke up. Normally, Vashti would’ve been all about a cult created monster ripping and tearing its way through Florida, but being somehow involved in all of the carnage made it less fun.

Claudette suggested the Coven train. While perhaps a terrific idea for a majority of the girls, it was the last thing in the world Vashti wanted. After all, her ability wasn’t really the kind she could finely hone. She’d much rather they just focus on finding someone who could remove curses. Her hand was the first to shoot up after Claudette asked if there were any concerns.

At least, Vashti had thought it was. Instead, it stayed firmly glued to the windowsill, biting deeply into the wood. She found herself unable to open her mouth, her tongue pushing against her sealed lips like she was trying to unlodge a piece of meat stuck between her teeth. Perhaps the Leviathan wanted to go to the wood, although Vashti could not tell why. She closed her eyes and listened to her heartbeat. It would be okay. The Leviathan seemed to fear Lyss; her presence would keep it in check.

When she reconnected with reality one of the new girls was speaking. Wait, new girl? Vashti did a double take, her eyebrows jumping as Mariah snapped her fan open. Reflexively, she found herself straightening up as if Mariah had caught her gawking. She looked away so fast that she heard a pop coming from her neck. Her eyes slowly crept back as Mariah continued to talk, her sheltered mind and her conservative, religious upbringing slowly fading away as the girl introduced herself. Vashti smiled at her. It was nice that they had new members. It meant she now wasn’t the only one underneath the fucking alligator.

“Nice to meet you. I like your fan. I’m”—she glanced at Quinn as Maya tore into her and took a few steps forward to block yet another classic Coven meltdown—Vashti. I’d like to say that our meetings aren’t always like this.” Typically, they went much worse, but there was still time for a bunch of sea creatures to break down the door or a nosy neighbor to call the cops. “I’m sure Claudette was just about to introduce the two of you.”

If she had meant it as a biting remark to question Claudette’s leadership, Vashti managed to keep the venom hidden. She turned to Kara, “No need to be so shy. We’re not as bad as we seem.” Worse, actually, yet Vashti still managed to keep the car salesman smile. “What’s your name?”
I'll think about Stacey popping up. I'm not sure how to incorporate him into the story line though.

Cult Popstar! Cult Popstar!
<Snipped quote>
This isnt even... form...

If we don't have an entire series of three to four posts of Annabelle powering up I quit.


Vashti nearly jumped out of her skin as Isla popped back into the room, blinked through Madison, and introduced herself. She breathed in heavily as her hand clenched her chest, a grimace set on her face in stone. Before Vashti had a second to get over the initial shock Madison had given the girl the boot again, hoisting her out of the beach house like she was a bouncer at her club and Isla was a drunk patron who’d gotten a little too handy in the champagne room. Repeatedly. Vashti called out for Madison to stop, but her voice was dwarfed by the woman calling for Chompy to sic Isla. This was ridiculous. Hardly a minute back with the Coven, and everything was already coming off the rails. She could hear the crashing of waves as her vision began to swim.

Herik stepped in to save the day and intercepted Chompy with pets. His presence reminded Vashti to reach for the quarter in her pocket. She stepped away from the others and stared blankly out the window as she counted the ridges. Vashti wasn’t sure if the coping mechanism actually worked in this situation, because at the sound of Lyss’ voice the Leviathan’s presence dove back into her as her body shuddered. She exhaled slowly and turned back to the group with her arms wrapped around herself. She leaned against the windowsill and continued to collect herself.

The girl who’d joined the Coven moments before the Outsider attacked arrived with Quinn. Vashti was amazed that she’d decided to stick around considering the circumstances of her welcoming party. She mustered up a welcoming smile and an acknowledging wave towards Grace. It was weird seeing someone excited to be around the Coven. It wasn’t like the other girls didn’t have high energy, just...generally, theirs seemed a bit more volitalite than vibrant. It was a nice change. Vashti uncrossed her arms and rested her hands on the ledge, lightly scraping at the paint with her nails as Isla began to chatter yet again.

“I regret to inform you all that a few days ago, she was the one responsible for Izzy’s death. I only discovered this yesterday when Agent Liao approached me.”

Vasthi stopped chipping away at the paint. She didn’t know Izzy that well, but the girl had helped her with her injury on the way to the hospital. Vashti decided to keep her mouth shut, which gave room for her mind to worry. Lyss was spewing some shit to Isla about protecting the Coven with their life so that the Coven would protect them, but had the Coven protected any of them yet? Since she’d joined two girls had died. How many had been lost before she’d come? Taylor had made the right call to cut and run when she did. Vashti’s gut instinct told her that she should do the same. Unfortunately, she couldn’t listen to her instincts anymore because they weren’t her own.

“I’m upset over… what happened to those two, honestly, but that doesn’t mean more of us should expect to sacrifice ourselves too,” said Maya. Emily agreed with her. Hell, Vashti agreed with her. When she’d joined the deal had been to just defend each other. There was nothing about being ready to die for each other. Talk like that sounded more like it belonged in a proper cult than a loosely connected group of chaotic witches. Vashti inhaled deeply and looked at Lyss, but her eyes darted away nervously before settling on the beach outside.

“They’re right. Oh, uh, not about the plant,” added Vashti quickly, glancing at Isla. “Do whatever with it. Although knowing the previous owner, I’d be careful about touching anything in this house. might wanna wash your hands. Anyway!” She hit each syllable in the word musically as her slitted eyes flicked back over towards the tides. “Normally, I’d be right there with Emily when it comes to not believing a couple of government creeps. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d kill someone and pass the blame onto another. They love using patsies.”

Vashti pivoted back to the point before her tinfoil hat started to poke out from her headscarf, “If Liao wanted to wipe us out then she wouldn’t have taken us to the hospital. She would’ve blasted us in Fantasy Land. Still, if we’re in danger then I think it’s time we’re all filled in on what’s what. Because I did join the Coven for protection.” From herself, mostly. “And I don’t feel like the Coven has held up their side of the deal. So, yeah, please, enlighten us so we can get done with this shit and start focusing on helping each other.”
Can I join both squads?
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