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8 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
9 yrs ago
On Hiatus
9 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
10 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
5 likes
10 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
6 likes

Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

Most Recent Posts

Here you go, boss. Lemme know what I broke.

What's that @The Darklight Project? Cyril fell in the well?
While we wait for our intrepid GM to pound out another massive collab post, is everyone prepped for the holidays? I just got to go out and get one final gift, meaning I have...6 more days to push it off until the final moment.
Joy


Throughout most of Joy's life, she was fine with the fact that she was born with reflexes that were quicker and sharper than her mind. After all, being able to properly quip and bitingly taunt your opponent didn't matter if they were already slicing through your throat. However, it was the times like these that she wished she had been blessed with a bark that could replace her bite. By the time the prospect of even raising a question on how Diane could refer to herself as a lady after her unladylike first impression had even begun to form in Joy's mind the conversation had already moved on. Joy fixed a neutral expression upon her face, her eyes narrowing as Diane mentioned her less than respectable departure. Joy knew she'd gain nothing from antagonizing her, and had even less of a reason to win the woman over. She had already soured her relations with half of the Barcean noble family's when she was Vesta Debove; no reason to try and mend them now.

There was something else that stopped the woman from wanting to make amends. Something that Joy wouldn't want to admit. She shifted her weight uncomfortably as the Prince began explaining to the others, ignoring Sampson's nervous glances and Gortful's confused expression. The other Sentinels had it, too. There was a connection between the group and Cyril that was more than just being soldiers together. It made the air feel weird; it made Joy's chest feel tight. She drifted in and out of the conversation, her mind struggling against her gut reaction to reach for her flask. When she was young, when she led briefings, when she was in command, this room didn't feel like this. She had kept her men at arms length. Strict, professional, efficient, or so she had thought. In hindsight, it had probably been her first major mistake as captain.

Am I jealous? she thought. She didn't know. Joy needed to find the answer. She was told by her gut that she wouldn't find it here in this room. Maybe at the bottom of a bottle? The Sentinels had just lucked out. Drinking would have to replace her plans for drilling. Just need to clear my mind. It's fine.

“Unfortunately, I must rescind my offer. I just recalled that a certain ambassador requested my presence, and I can only keep him waiting for so long,” said Joy, using Ennis as an excuse to escape to any bar she could find. “I'll have time when we make camp to see how your men hold up. Take care, Your Royal Highnesses.” She nodded to Cyril and Ayano and excused herself to Calypso and Etsuko, giving a cold shoulder to the Sentinels as she limped out of the room.

Ennis


Ennis drew in a deep breath and tried to slow down his hammering heart. Nobody was in this room. He would have certainly found out earlier if that was the case. Picking back up his sword, he slowly crept out of his office and back into the hallway. Three rooms to check. He started with Yan's. Touching his hand to the door knob, he twisted it open as he placed his back against the hallway wall. Gesturing with his hand, he threw a spell into the middle of the room and closed the door shut. There was a tiny, unimpressive crack sound, followed by a brilliant white flash that snuck through the bottom of the door. No expressions or noises that sounded like he had blinded somebody. Still, he checked through Yan's room, his sword extended out in front of him. Nothing. He cleared the next two rooms. Again, nobody was there.

Sighing with relief, he went back to his desk and studied his discovery: a boot print in the now dried ink that had spilled from his desk. Feeling foolish, he optimistically leaned up against his desk and looked at the bottom of his boots, hoping that in his hurry earlier he had just stepped in the puddle and hadn't realized it. He felt his stomach drop: both his shoes were clean. The footprints led to the front door. That explained why his balcony was ajar and his door unlocked, although how somebody broke into his balcony that faced the street without raising an alarm beguiled Ennis. He stepped next to the footprints, trying to measure the size of the stride but failing to draw any conclusions from it.

He walked through his apartment again, checking the rooms to see if anything of value had been stolen. Nothing appeared to have been touched. Ennis fumed for a second; he had plenty of valuables, meaning whomever had broken in wasn't just some random thief. He checked his desk, rummaging through the files and documents. Some seemed shifted out of place, but nothing struck him as missing. Still, he knew somebody had been in his apartment while he was at the castle. What could they have been looking for? He pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought. Who had reason to do this?

His eyes studied his desk. Nothing of interest had been in any of his official reports—he had made a habit of sending what he sent back to H'kela to Kori as well to serve a sign of good faith (although if she ever actually got them was an uncertainty). Perhaps a Barcean thought he was spying and had taken time to look through his unofficial reports...except those didn't exist and never would exist. Ennis refused to spy for Gartian. Maybe a H'kelan, then? Somebody who hated his family and wanted to find something to defame him? But what would it be? My family has always done things by... His train of thought was cut off as he reached for the letter his father had sent him, warning him about Gartian's attacks and begging him to come home. It had read to Ennis like the letter from a concerned father. To others? It'd probably read closer to a traitor revealing military secrets. His head hurt as he continued thinking hundreds of questions with no answers. He cast a spell on himself to ease the ache.

There was one thing Ennis knew for certain: he had to get rid of this letter. Striking a fire to life in his fireplace, he tossed the letter into the flames and watched as the licked around the edges of the envelope and crisped it black. He slumped into one of his chairs. Who knew about the letter? thought Ennis. There was Nia, but she had known about the letter before he had even opened it. The idea that she had planted it on Ennis to set him up didn't even form in his head. He knew she wouldn't betray him. Yan, then? He was still missing, although Ennis didn't believe he was working for anybody else but him. It didn't make sense. Gartian did have spies in Barcea. Perhaps one of them had been watching? He wouldn't get any help from the guard, and troubling the Queen was not high on his list. Besides, he doubted she would send her men to examine the entire kingdom for dirty boots.

Think.

Think...

Thud!

The noise stirred Ennis. Judging by the view from his balcony, it was now dark outside. You fell asleep? You idiot! He looked around the room in a panic, before his better senses told him to calm his nerves. The thud had come from outside; the loud cursing from his front door confirmed it. Another thud, followed by even more fluent cursing. Surely, some of them had to have been made up on the spot there thought Ennis as he cautiously approached the door. He pulled the door open. He felt tears form in his eyes as the smell of hard alcohol punched him in the nose.

“Come on, ya whoremongering, sandswallowing, dogloving, sonofabitch, open the...open...open the door,” said Joy, slurring her words.

The woman rose her hand up to knock again, swinging forcefully at the now open door. Her body followed after her fist, and Ennis clumsily ducked out of the way to avoid getting hit. She tripped forward, crumpling to the ground as she laughed and swore in pain. Joy was saying something about his mother as Ennis tried to help her up. The drunk woman offered no assistance, prattling on in further and further graphic detail.

“Miss Joy, please, perhaps you shouldn't talk about people you don't know,” said Ennis, finally pulling the woman up to her feet and giving her his shoulder.

“Don't...don't know? I know that bi...” She fell silent. Ennis was worried that she might have been getting sick, and contemplated pushing her away from making a mess on his clothes. “Fucking...fugging...frogging...grog and...you have a drink?” She wiggled her flask in front of his face and giggled. Ennis didn't know the woman well, but it sounded very unnatural and made his skin crawl.“I'm all...alllllllllll gone.”

“Yes, I could tell,” said Ennis, leading the woman into the bathroom. Not the finest of quarters, but he refused to have a mess in the morning and imagined the first thing the woman would want to do is bathe the stench away. “While I appreciate you stopping by, I was hoping you'd be a little more...clear headed, so you would be able to fully appreciate my points. Still, I-”

“Goddamned stupid, dumb, concieted, little noble fuck,” said Joy, cutting Ennis off. At first, he thought she was talking about him, but she continued. “Calling me a mutt, hah, the...the Laues are...” She blew a raspberry. “Stupid, dumb. Lady Laues, should've said, I should've said, hah, I should've said Lady Loser to her big dumb stupid bitch face.”

“Yes, I'm sure that would cut Lady Laues very deeply, Miss Joy. Come on, give me a leg up or something.”

“Eating jerk. Stupid smile. Buncha....buncha nobodies. Faster than...fucking crippled and faster than all of 'em,” she struck her hand and sliced the air, making chopping sounds with her mouth for emphasis. It was anything but impressive. Ennis casually leaned out of the way of the hits. “Assholes. Everyone else...everyone else is an asshole...”

“Mm, yes, clearly that must be it,” said Ennis, lifting one leg followed by another so that Joy was now in the tub. “Sit for me, please?”

“You're...you're cuter than your brother,” she said. “Whatshisname? Pfft, he was a....a loser asshole, too. Couldn't even...weak. You got his stupid dumb big nose. Stupid dumb big H'kelan loser asshole nose.”

“And there you go,” said Ennis, shoving Joy onto her rear with a less than careful push. “I'll check on you to make sure you're asleep and don't hurt yourself soon.”

He cast one spell on the woman as he walked out of the bathroom. Joy was still rambling in gibberish as he closed the door behind him and went to his room, taking a minute to double check the locks on his doors and windows. He had invited her over to ask a question and to see if he could win, or buy, her help. That would have to wait until morning. Now, he'd just have to find a way to sleep knowing that a burgular was on the loose and that there was a boozed bandit in his bathtub.
Running a Smash tournament right now as a program, but I should hopefully have a post up tonight or tomorrow!


I'd imagine my play style would get me thrown out of any Smash tournament. My roommates stopped playing it with me after I kept cheesing losing winning by body slamming them into the abyss as Bowser. :(
Yeah, maybe we should go with the 2nd so we can get the band together.
Oh, hey, it's you! Well, tickle me interested then.
@The Darklight Project Who? Me? Never!
I'm just having the time of my life job hunting, or rather pretending to be job hunting. I can't tell which it is right now.

On an unrelated news, haven't seen @shinigami94 in a hot minute. Whatcha up to, bud?
Ennis


Ennis kept a polite smile on his face as the Serio family doted over their long lost friend, knowing that it would have been rude to interupt their reunion. He could tell from the reaction of Olain's children that they were not aware of the secret he knew, and he refused to be the one to put a frown on the Queen's face. Not to mention that he wasn't one hundred percent certain himself. As the small council broke and began to go their separate ways Ennis gripped ahold of Joy's gambeson, halting her from following behind the Prince.

“Sorry to bother, but I need to have a word with you,” said Ennis, his voice low and discrete. “Trust me, you'll want to hear what I have to say. When you're done with the Prince, come to my apartments.”

Joy shrugged free of the man and continued limping along behind the Prince's train; Ennis assumed that was a yes. He gave the Queen a polite bow as she dismissed him and briskly made his way out of the throne room—the stares from the guards were becoming uncomfortable. The ambassador mental list of tasks he needed to complete before the morning was growing considerably, but the first matter was to return home and see if Yan had been successful in his task of finding suitable bodyguards. The man began the walk back to his room above the flower shop, doubtful that the men in the stables would loan him a horse without the Queen's direct orders. Besides, he needed to stretch his limbs if they were to begin traveling tomorrow. He couldn't recall the last time he himself had been in Gurata, but he doubted his carriage would be fit for trekking through the snow.

He wasn't bothered on his walk back home, the streets being fairly thin once the general populace knew they would no longer get a peak at their beloved Queen. Ennis was certain by tomorrow the city would be abuzz with feverish jangoism once word escaped the castle, but today he enjoyed the relative silence that allowed his mind to drift. He thought of home. Depending on where they went in Gurata, the Kirun could be pretty close. Perhaps he would be able to check in. His mind turned to his wife and daughter. He knew Nia would be able to get them to safety. With the war going on, he doubted Gartian would pay much attention if they were secreted away. Perhaps by the time he visited home they would be there. A year's too long of a time for a man to be away from his family. Ennis clacked up the steps to his apartment, his family still in mind as his hand turned the knob and opened the door. Weird; had he forgotten to lock it in his excitement?

He called for Yan as he entered the hallway, lighting the sconce as he did so. The young man was greeted only with a silence. How hard is it to find a few bodyguards? thought Ennis as he made his way in to his office. Igniting the lights, Ennis felt a chill run up his spine as he looked around the room. Something felt off. The chill hit him again: the wind. His hand fell upon his sword and drew it. The blade was thin yet still personalized with engravings and far too well-polished to have ever been used in battle. Nevertheless, it was comforting to hold as his hand traced the edge of his desk as he made his way towards the balcony. The door was ajar ever the slightest. Cautiously, he opened it further, looked outside, and sighed with relief. Closing the door behind him, he shook his head at his own silly paranoia and turned back to sit at his desk. That's when he saw it.

The sword dropped from his hand, clattering against the floor with a loud ring.

Joy


Everything was too surreal. Wandering through the halls of the castle she once called home made her feel like a ghost. Ever subtle difference she noted. The colors were a little brighter, the walls were less ordained with weaponry and more covered in art. It all just seemed a little off. Joy felt her head swim. As the Prince showed the girls their rooms, Joy took the opportunity of their temporary distraction to take a quick drink. With the fire in her mouth, she felt her head clear ever the slightest. Her home was still different, but she could accept it. Stashing the flask, she turned back around and hurried after the others, her makeshift cane echoing through the hallways.

Even with the changes to the castle, she still knew where they were going as they headed through the hallway that led from one section to the other. Her eyes fell on the training grounds as they passed; she could almost hear her past self barking orders above the clashing and clanging of metal. She could also hear the whispers, the quiet insults that the recruits threw around when they thought she was out of earshot. She hadn't thought about those things in ages. It still stung. The former captain grimaced, shaking the thoughts from her head as they entered her former domain. At least they hadn't changed the decorations here. She heard voices from a cracked door; the Prince opened it the rest of the way.

"Everyone, meet the Sentinels."

Joy realized what she was doing before she had completely drawn her sword. The sound of her weapon slamming back in it sheath was masked by the staff shattering against the door. Being here might have been getting to her; nobody would actually be foolish enough to harm the Prince. Still, it had been a gut reaction. If she hadn't realized what she was doing, her homecoming would have ended with a rather bloody abruptness. Gathering herself, Joy stood back and observed as the woman bickered with the Prince. She felt her grip on her sword's hilt tighten as the woman continued to speak to Cyril. If it had been a private conversation Joy would be a bit more understanding, but to talk to a commanding officer, let alone royalty, in front of strangers like that? Joy gritted her teeth, biting down on her tongue in the process to keep it from lashing out freely.

She stepped forward into the room as the Prince continued his explanation of the group, examing the Sentinels as if they were cattle as he introduced each. A frown slowly formed on her face. Gortful's warm and friendly smile reminded her of a child, not of a hardened soldier. Sampson's refusal to stop eating was selfish and disrespectful, certainly unbecoming of a man serving the Prince. Joy already knew how she felt about Diane. The woman did not know how lucky it was that she still had a hand. As Cyril mentioned how proud he was of the Sentinels, Joy shot him an incredulous look. He's joking, right? she thought. It did not sound like a joke, but then again she couldn't be certain—she was never one for humor. If he was serious, well, she now understood how H'kela had launched a surprise attack if the Sentinels were the ones supposed to be guarding the border. She found herself making her way subconsciously to the head of the largest table like a woman possessed, her hand pushing the hair out of her eyes so that her stone gaze could fall on each and everyone of the Sentinels. A loud bang rang out across the room as Joy slammed her hand on the table in an attempt to get everyone's attention.

“Listen up,” she said. Her voice was calm and collected, but still carried loudly throughout the room. As she continued speaking, some poison seeped through onto her words. “You, Sampson. Three ladies, a brother-in-arms, your commanding officer, and your Princess have just walked into the room. Stand up and show some proper respect, or the next thing you'll be shoving in your face is dirt. And wipe that look off of your face, Gortful. Unless I was misled then I believe you're supposed to be a soldier, not the family dog. And Diane, you have a pretty good arm. Mine's faster. If you try to strike the Prince again, well,” a smile flashed across Joy's mouth, “consider me no longer responsbile for my actions.”

“I see why your brought me along, Your Royal Highness,” said Joy, giving Cyril a wry smile. “I am a bit tired from the ride, but I can still muster a few hours of drilling. I imagine I still have plenty I can show; perhaps even more now.”

She thoughtfully rubbed her chin, a devilish glint shining in her eye as she thought of proper punishment/training regiments for the Sentinels. She paused for a moment, as if she had just snapped out of a spell, and blinked before giving the Prince an apologetic look. It must have been an effect of the nostalgia; she had been acting as if she was still a captain. A slight tinge of red flushed onto her tanned cheeks as she stepped back from the table and sidled up against a wall.

“Ah, before any of that,” she said, her voice clearly less confident than before, “I'd suppose you'd want to debrief your men, my Prince. My apologies for being presumptuous.”
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