Avatar of CFProxy

Status

Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Current Honestly I look at how new/young rpers slam down back to back posts and wonder how I even had the energy to do all that years ago.
15 likes
6 yrs ago
Finally back. Looking to finally settle into a thread or DM one.
1 like
7 yrs ago
I want to make a WWII themed thread but I'm writing so much lore for it that I'll be done in a few years. FeelsBadMan
1 like
7 yrs ago
Fallschirmjäger is such a fun word to say.
4 likes
8 yrs ago
The most irritating thing is wanting to RP but the moment you start writing you lose interest. Sad days.
11 likes

Bio

I write WWII related stuff and RP a lot. Dunno when I'm going to make one for here.

Most Recent Posts

"Beyond the great vision was a veil. Beyond that veil a dream. Where did it go? None would know and yet all would see. Dancing across planes and dimensions until there was none left. But where we found none we realized that we had merely scratched the limitations of the divine. Horrifying and yet beautiful."








Mae-Alari & Vak’Thuum

Collab between @CFProxy & @yoshua171
"It was like waking up from a long sleep. The mind's eye closed to all but stillness. Do we still remember? Do we still know? Did we ever?"

In the great nothingness there resides a great mass that floats adrift. A collection of something before something could be anything. A mass of semi consistency strung across with loose imagination. Smears painted upon a canvas with no light.

But then there was a call.

"Come? Come. Come! We are come!" The oozing mass pulled itself together. It tried to move but found itself unable to stretch freely. "Stuck... Unable... Cannot come...Why?"

The mass floated in silence, shifting around with a patient caress across its bounds. Then- from the darkness of the pit came a red eye. Singular, large, and curious. It peered through the gaps between which held the mass together and it thought long and hard. "Cannot come... But must..."

It floated there, unsure of what to do. It looked left, dragging the mass effortlessly. There was more of the dark. Then he looked right and there was more of the dark. He looked up, then down, then away, then afar, then he spun around in circles until he came to stop. He was trapped. It was a cage- a ball of some kind with gaps between.

"Must... become..." He stared at the cage, glancing to the codex that was so far away. The eye pressed against the cage, but it found little speed. He looked around, unsure. But then a thought came and he looked to himself.

"Will... become." From the mass came vague shapes. They were frail and they broke apart, but they did not deter the eye from trying again. The mass extended, grabbing hold of the broken pieces of sparkling magic and returning them to his mass. He thought and thought until the mass pushed once more.

Tendrils. From the mass came tendrils! Thin and lacking color, but capable of grabbing the cage with no door. One and then two. The blazing light of the red eye christened with a corrupted arcane power making it all but invisible to those who knew the unknowable. Eye pressed against cage and tendrils pushed the cage away. "This one... moves."

It repeated its motion. Squish, grab, push. Squish, grab, push. Squish, grab, push. "Must... change..." Stopping, the eye stared at the cage and thought about it with more care. He thought about himself and realized something with little grace. "Can... swim…."

More tendrils formed and they poked through the cage. Once fully out they began to wiggle. No more need to grab and push. Now- they could simply hold on and swim ever so slowly towards the book that was ever so far away.

Attention caught as she felt something moved far beyond the light of Khodex, Mae-Alari turned her attention to the Vast Expanse all around her. Slowly as a force tugged upon the Veins of the Cosmos, and thus her own being, the Goddess found that she could triangulate the mysterious force’s location. “How curious,” she chimed, her voice ringing faintly into the Void.

Then, like a burst of flame through the night, the Arcane Source transmitted herself across the void. In an instant her form slammed into something solid, yet failed to move it. Dispersing into a great cloud of power, it was—for a moment—as if a nebula had formed from the leavings of her vessel. Without eyes she observed the strange phenomena that she’d struck.

Twas a great crimson eye contained within the formless murk composed of an energy familiar to her own. A pulse of delight rippled across the nebula of her form and then she collapsed once more into her primordial shape.

“Kin!” She shouted joyfully and then, with equal vigor—picking up on the slow progress of the deity and the direction of its movement—Mae-Alari stretched out her power and took hold of the cage. “Come!” She chirped and then more seriously she commanded the world.

“Move”

The fabric of space resonated, the cage shuddered as a powerful vibration passed over the many tendrils and then with great force they were propelled forth towards the glowing beacon of the Khodex. Still, it would take them some time, and in that period Mae-Alari turned her attention to the Crimson Eye.

“Dark Waters, Crimson Gaze, I am Mae-Alari. Do you have a name, brother?”

The burst of energy caused the eye to look around. Something was stirring. Something... familiar... Then as one conscious feeling came to pass another revealed what it was he felt. A burst of magic that could not be mistaken. Yes, it was familiar! Yet what his soul felt he understood, his mind could not think up an answer. It was beautiful all the same. A burst of magic that lit up the sky with endless possibility- but then thoughts flickered to correct. It was no mere phenomenon. It was the arcana itself! "Kin!" It responded, voice rippling with a light underwater effect.

As the cage bursted forward the eye found a great- joy. Something tugged within as though this had occured once before. Remembering that which could not be remembered, or maybe wishing that it could continue. Focus returned to the cage within a short time. The arcane was all around him and the light of that which lay beyond glow and spark with beautiful streaks of light. Eye swirled around, examining the ancient power and wiggling the entire form as endless thoughts began to bombard, broken only by the speech of arcana herself. The eye examined much of her and responded in kind. Mae-Alari... My name... This one... remembers. Yes. But I must become again." The mass shook and the eye flickered, gurgles of struggle a prelude to a sudden change. The thin tendrils of vague shape broke apart and reforged into thicker forms. The mass itself refined its shape and the eye developed a slit. A roar ripped and bursts of magic erupted from his own form before he spoke once more with much longer tendrils pushing out and grabbing at the cage with an evolved form and mind. “I am Vak'thuum. I create change and seek the secrets of that which never was. You are the arcana that weaves the tapestry of creation. Sister, why am I bound by these shackles? Why can I not remember more? Can you?" Within moments after power grasped at the cage and a force pushed upon it. Vak's form glowed in a purple light and the cage was made lighter by his own intervention. He was mimicking her strength to some end, and slowly changing the state of his prison, but never breaking it. A higher frequency echoing from their location as Mae-Alari's magic could now carry them across even faster!

Overjoyed as her strange sibling responded in kind, his voice rumbling through the cosmos, Mae-Alari felt her features subtly shift in kind. Azure Apertures opened upon her face, and the impression of lips split across her features. She smiled, it was filled with delight. “I know not from where we came, Vak’thuum, only that we belong together in this Vast Emptiness where soon something tremendous will arrive!” She could feel it, feel the building power of the Khodex and the intensity of the energies it held within.

It could not contain it all forever.

Cutting across the abyssal pitch of that empty world they made good time on their approach to the brilliant beacon of the Khodex, but as they grew nearer to it, Mae-Alari suddenly felt a great tearing within her breast. Faltering, their speed dwindled, and then the Mistress of the Mists fell to her knees upon her brother’s cage. Sucking in the empty void, a resonant curse shuddered through the Veins of the Cosmos even as she found her body and soul was being wracked by a terrible agony.

She opened her mouth, but could not speak, could not scream, could not draw a further breath. For several long moments, stretched out into an eternity as she felt something pried loose from within her, felt things warp, and shift, and burn away.

Pulses of molten prisma shot through Creation’s Veins as the Arcane Well within her–her very heart–tore and shattered, then reformed. Finally, after many minutes had passed and their movement had slowed to all but a crawl, Mae-Alari felt the agony become a phantom of itself.

Fading into a terrible ache, Mae-Alari unclenched her fingers where they’d curled into her chest, the goddess having coiled into a fetal position atop her brother’s cage.

Letting forth a shuddered breath of arcana, Mae’s azure eyes cast aboutt he Void and saw a twisted figure drift away from the Khodex.

Her arcanic heart twisted in her chest and skipped a beat.

Vak'thuum curiously gazed upon her wonder. Know not where they came. An unsettling remark, but overwhelmed by that of the present. Yes, they belonged here together. That was all that mattered. He was content to fly, perhaps even... happy. Then she seemed to feel- pain. The eye came to stare upon her and within moments long tendrils reached out from their prison. "Sister..." He needed time. He needed to remember... but there was no time for that. Evolve. Change. Become.

A tendril came from the cage. It was different. A sparkling azure blue reflective of her eyes. Unlike the rest of him, this was pure arcana. He pushed his mass through ripping at his form some but eventually evolving his tendril to grow further. It traveled quickly and soon came to brush her hand. Moments later and the tendril slowly coiled around her heart. Small pulses of energy came from the new extension. A numbing magic to ease the pain, a pulse of arcana to correct irregularities in her form, while sharing his feelings. With these magics she could, at least, come to stand and fly without pain. Another tendril came, this one gently prodding at her heart to come and fix any irregularities that had remained.

"I can still your pain for now. Show me your burden and I will repair what has been broken. I will even give you part of me so that you may be whole. We belong together."

Relief slowly eased through her form as she allowed Vak’thuum to ply within her chest and at her heart. Slowly that terrible ache began to ease, though it never fully left her–though it became a specter of its former self. Inhaling power from the Veins and the limb of her brother, Mae-Alari extended once more her potency and pressed them once more towards the pulsing beacon.

“Thank you,” she whispered and in moments they finally arrived. Gingerly she positioned Vak’thuums ponderous cage before the Khodex and once she had secured him, Mae-Alari’s power slipped back inwards and disappeared as she withdrew. Watching closely she studied him, even as another facet of her attention bored into another deific skull.

Though once wounded, Mae knew her power had not diminished. Instead it had merely been changed. What that was she could not yet tell. In time all things would make themselves clear. Until then, she would keep up her guard and remain wary such that next time–if such a thing came–she could act to protect herself.

Relief pulsed through Vak'thuum. Though she was not as she once was, she was now, at least, able to continue. What more could be done? He did not know. There was much he did not know. It burned at him without relenting and frustrated him to no end. Though there may not have been anything of the past he couldn't help but feel like there was. This cannot continue. It evolved, manifesting into something else. If he could not know the answers of the past, he would find the answers of the future and all possibilities therein.

The Khodex was before them in no time. It begged for him to reach it and in that moment he wondered if she had done the same. The great eye looked to his sister and words vibrated from his mass again. "...and thank you." He watched as the power began to leave the settled cage. Felt as she began to leave him. So be it. But he would not leave it be at that. With arcane tendril loosened from her heart he took hold of her arm gently and allowed his tendril to break off with R'kava mass attached to its end. Even if he could not go with her, a part of him would be with her. Always.

He was stronger now, evolving with every passing second and given this chance by his sister. It was impossible to know how long it would have taken to get here without her. Now... to change and become more... His eye retracted back into the mass and it grew incredibly still. Power swirling and pulsing. The great mass began to pull in and incubation would persist until it was as a perfect orb.

The stillness continued for some time until a tendril suddenly broke free from the dark. Longer and breaking apart as it coiled towards the Khodex. It shattered across every crack to reveal its evolution underneath. Exploding in size and function it became a tentacle with the black waters falling back into place and merging with his being once more. No lack of reach as it coiled around the scroll and dripped black ink from the tip of the appendage. Slapping against the parchment a gurgling gave anticipation. Burning through the orb came two red eyes furrowed.

The First Sequence would come to be. Wheresoever the canvas was empty would now have potential to be full. That which was nothing could be something. And life, wheresoever it would be, would find a way.

The Stars Shall Be Made Complete.


Tentacle lifted to pause, the bubbling of the mass beginning to slam against the confines of the cage with a deep echoing. Violent and persistent with intensity only growing until the cage began to bend and break! Then, suddenly, an eldritch roar ripped across the cosmos and the great cage broke apart under the strain of the being within. The black waters scattered to the stars and the once simple creature of black mass now floated with a whole form. Titanic, tentacles unending, and inspired to stand with monstrous form. Webbed hand pushing aside and untangling the swarm of appendages holding it in place. One reached and clashed against the unknown until it came crashing upon the Khodex once more. The Second Sequence would find itself upon the Khodex.

R’kava Shall Evolve And Give Form To The Formless


Raising webbed claws above and using the Khodex as a conduit a flash of energy exploded across the stars. Touching every bit of the black waters that had escaped his grasp and touching all spaces that were barren. An insurance that his gift would be seen and the great experiment would begin. Tentacles unraveled from the scroll and returned to Vak'thuum.

His mind raced with possibility as one voice became two and two became four. There was much to do and much to try, but he spasmed for a moment and recoiled from the expenditure. "Not yet... There is much more we must do..." He thought, but his eyes flickered all the same. He began to coil tentacles around himself and slowly more and more of the dark waters formed and poured through his pores. Perhaps a nap before the great work was in order...







Vak'thuum
Transmutation Immemorial

Domain
Evolution


Description
Vak'thuum can be described as the manifestation of a black oozing pool that bubbles in excitement in the face of change. A wide spanning tentacle that erupts from fogged waters to churn and coil around those who sacrifice themselves. But those who have seen them firsthand would describe them as a great beast that emerges from the depths of darkness and knows no end. Tentacles aplenty with great searing red eyes that gaze upon the object of obsession. A horror and a salvation. It reeks with an ancient power from its scale like hide flaring to greet you. Intention is never quite known and at any time purpose may change.

Believe they are a nightmare and you will be haunted for all your days. Believe they are a dream and your wishes will come to pass. But whatsoever you shall do you shall do it with the knowledge that nothing will ever be the same. With a clawed hand it reaches forth. Tribute and all will change.


War creates order.


Location: Galbar’s northern continent, east coast. City of Earthwall.
Interacting with: Navari Sathia.
Mentions: None.





Celestine walked briskly through the city, passing through the great gates that permitted passage through the immense walls of each section. The immense doors and heavy portcullises were open wide for now, allowing easy passage throughout the inner city walls. Celestine kept an arm on Navari’s back as she walked, aiding the elf in keeping pace with the tireless goddess. The end goal of this walk was the central palace, where Celestine would give a more formal explanation of what Navari’s duties were to be along with the expectations that Celestine had. As the two walked, Celestine was already doing her best to explain some things. ”The pressure on you when I am not here will be immense, but hopefully with the organizational structure that I have in mind you will have the people needed to help you overcome even the most complicated decisions. If all else should fail, I have no aims to abandon the city, so I can step in personally when I have the time in order to give you time to rest.”

As they began to draw near to the farming districts that held the entrances to the interior palace grounds and thus the palace itself, Celestine prompted Navari to speak up by posing a question to her. ”Do you have any immediate questions about anything? I will explain as best as I can.”




Walls that rose to touch the heavens. Districts that cultivated the many walks of life. The warmth of the sun which gave light second only to the goddess.

Reeling as it all was, nothing was quite as dazzling as the arm that guided her through the city. Even now none of it really felt quite normal. Heavenly? Was that the best way to describe it? This feeling of walking in a city made of clouds where all found common purpose? The taste of the air as sweet as nectar. The smells of the fortress a comfort equal to a mother's bosom.

Beyond it all there was still the waking realization that something stirred within. Everything felt so... strange. It had felt as though she had simply slept through an eternity in the rift. The suggestion of memory fanning her awake until the sobering call brought her to life. To top it all off she had been made champion and beside those feelings was another that stirred in its sleep. It was a gentle urge. A suggestion within her gut that there was something to awaken... or maybe she just needed more sleep...

She drifted for a moment, eyes blinking rapidly before taking in the presentation once more, feeling consciousness take root as she stiffly walked to Celestine's side. The goddess stirred much within as well. Oh yes, her radiance was a wonder to behold. Beautiful skin that looked gentle to the touch, but not so clean that one could not feel the faintest of scratches left by eternity if one concentrated enough. So confident in the way she walked, the way she talked, the way she provided guidance. Caring enough that she personally took her in her embrace. Navari was nothing if not thankful. In this moment she may have wanted nothing more than to simply cradle her head against Celestine and embrace sleep once more... but now was not the time for rest. It was time for action.

Eyes shifted to Celestine as they walked, head turning to better gaze up at her patron. "Many, but only few that matter. What would you have me do first, my goddess?" Few words but great many a possible answer.




Being asked what would be expected of her first was something that Celestine actually had a prepared answer for, but that answer would require something to visually accompany it to fully display the weight of what Celestine was going to ask of Navari. Fortunately, they didn’t have far to go, so she was able to start explaining her answer immediately. ”The first thing I would have you do is pick the people you’re going to rely on to have your back in making the complex decisions you’re going to have to make.”

Stopping before another set of doors that although much smaller than those that parted the dividing walls, were no less capable in the defense that they provided. Celestine pushed them open to reveal a fairly short narrow corridor that led into a circular foyer with several other corridors branching off of it. Leading Navari through the central corridor, she brought her to a relatively small room that possessed a fairly large round table and [number] chairs. Gesturing to the largest one, Celestine spoke softly. ”Sit, if you wish. This chair is yours when I am not present, and mine when I am. Your first charge is thus.”

Walking to the other chairs, Celestine would place a hand upon each one before listing off the position that whoever was given them would fill. ”Master of cultivation, their task will be to ensure that the city has enough food, for I will have no one go hungry here… Master of production, their task will be to oversee the smiths and other craftsmen, for I will have every guard and soldier armed with the best that we can give them, and whatever we trade shall be the best of what we can produce… Master of relations, their task will be to ensure that we maintain good standing with whatever other civilizations come to our doorstep, for even if the city is built to be defended I am not eager to see its defenses tested constantly… Master of strategy, their task will be to manage scouts of various capacities in order to keep up with the changes to the landscape and other fields and devise tactics for battle in the ever changing environment, for I will not have the army caught unaware of where it will be fighting… And at last, master of the army. They will handle the training of soldiers and guards, as well as their direction and combat planning with assistance from the master of strategy. Each of these roles will be important in making sure not only this city, but the people as a whole, are capable of defending themselves and thriving, even without me. If there are any more positions that you can think of that need to be filled, please do feel free to state them. I will make accommodations for them. They will all answer to you, and you will answer to me. Beneath them will be the advisors that they pick, and so on. It is my wish that the general populace have the means to make both requests and complaints heard equally to both your ears and mine. To make this clear: This process is critical to maintaining the happiness and smooth operation of this city. It will be impossible to do everything, but I would still do as much as possible. Thus, I would say to make your choices carefully. Sometimes the best choices will be the people that disagree with you the most. But, ultimately, the choice is yours. I am not here to dictate your freedom away from you. Thus, during your selections, I will merely be a silent companion.”




Faithfully, Navari followed every guided step. Eyes grazing upon the passing craftsmanship of the corridors. A hand gently brushing against the reinforced wood as they continued on their way. The throne, no matter how ordinary, held significance to Celestine's champion immediately. She thought to sit, but upon hearing her out, the mortal shook her head. "It is as you say. Mine when you are not here. I will stand, that you would see me as worthy to share such a seat... I am honored."

Upon being explained the functions of the table thoughts formulated and carried on. Eyes wandered and hand brushed gently against the table, imagining who she would have sitting upon their table. Pressure straining upon their neck as she began to wonder if she would be capable of choosing worthy souls. Still, Celestine wouldn't have given her this role if she could not handle it... right?

There was a moment of silence, the woman bringing her arm back to her side before looking at Celestine, though without daring to look into her eyes. "I will do my best to serve you. I understand my role is primarily in administration. And, forgive me for this, I would like to understand the other roles I am to undertake before I make such important decisions."




Nodding at the request, Celestine would gesture for Navari to follow her before she began to lead Navari throughout the palace and explain each room and its purpose. When not explaining the rooms, Celestine explained her plans for Navari. Not only was she to be the guide for the city when Celestine herself wasn’t present, she was also to be Celestine’s replacement as the de-facto leader of the Virtus Elves on Galbar should something happen.

This revelation likely panicked Navari a bit, so Celestine took the time to explain something else: She was the goddess of war, and she felt a sense of inevitability that someone was going to make an attempt on her life. She would naturally be prepared for this, but in the event that someone or something was successful Celestine did not want to leave the elves suddenly leaderless and lost.

That was where Navari came in, and it was also why Celestine placed such great pressure upon her. She, quite frankly, needed Navari to have nerves of steel in order to lead a people that had lost their goddess. Such a task would be monumentally difficult, but Celestine knew that Navari had the potential to achieve the task set before her already. She just had to harness it. That had been why she had been chosen after all.

Remaining silent for a few moments to allow Navari to absorb the information that Celestine had given her, Celestine led them back to the initial strategy room before turning to face her and asking if they had anything else they wanted an answer for.




This was a lot to take in. Everything about this was a lot to take in. To be brought to life only to be told that there would be the possibility of being abandoned was hard enough, but to be the one that all eyes would look upon if it happened was more chaos than she was comfortable with hearing at the moment. It felt like there were needles in her spine, every muscle in her body stressing and her heart pounding in anxiety. And yet... She didn't have to do this alone, and above all she needed to have faith that with or without Celestine that life could continue on. It was all she had... did others have such faith? Surely...

As they passed through every corridor she glanced into the window that every elf had. There was spirit there. A flow of emotion and thought that was ceaseless. Men and women who were capable of much. Some more determined than others. Some more afraid. But all took comfort in the gaze of the goddess. Understanding that even in the midst of their remembrance there was a figure that seemed to make everything make sense. They gathered, speaking to one another of their duties. Each one seemed to recall one thing and then another. Each revelation seeming to grow as Celestine took her place among them. The holy revelation of even her cloak sparking inspiration into the minds of the elves. One or two managing to even touch it as Celestine passed by, the eyes of the few glowing with realization before sprinting to chase a dream born of mind.

And as they returned Navari looked down upon the city from the highest rise of their citadel. All lives with one goal in mind. A goal to not just survive, but to live. That gave Navari hope and purpose. For even beyond serving the one who walked above them all she needed to see what was at stake. She needed to understand what would be lost if all did not push to fulfill their duty... and such thoughts did flood her mind. A great nightmare of a barren city with broken walls. The very flash causing her to close eyes for some time to then reopen to see all was still there. Much to consider as she focused again on her walk with Celestine. It all coming to end once more in the table where masters would sit.

There was a long pause as Navari closed eyes and took a deep breath, calming thoughts as best she could before standing upright from her hunched posture. With an exhale she looked to face Celestine, placing hand over heart as she spoke with a determined expression. "Though this is is all new to me, I assure you, I will not fail you. I will know this city and I will make every attempt to bring our people to prosperity. I will give my soul to this until the void takes me whole and I return to the endless dream..."

She brought herself to one knee, bowing head. "So please... continue in your great work. I will handle things from here. Nothing more is necessary for the time being."




Celestine nodded at Navari’s enthusiasm before speaking up once more. ”Good. I will return to review your choices at the end of the day. If all is in order, I will assist you all with establishing the routines needed to keep the city going and make sure that reports are handled adequately. Until then, the day and its choices are yours to do with as you see fit.”

And with that, Celestine left. Ascending the tower to watch both the horizon and the city below. It was there that she remained until the sun passed to the horizon. As the light faded and torches were lit around the city, Celestine returned to Navari and took the time to interview both her and each choice. All of them eventually earned her approval, and soon Celestine began to explain the system of providing and receiving reports regarding the status of their governed sectors. The sun was well gone by the time she finished, but at the very least the structure was explained.

With things finally set up for the city to run independently of Celestine, she bid Navari to take up the mantle of leadership before once more ascending the tower to keep an eye on the horizon to track what the other gods were doing.








Navari Sathia

Champion of Earthwall


Even the greatest legends began from the smallest of towns.



In the grand overture of the cosmos there lay a goddess of great desire. One so passionate in their song that even after the stage grew cold and dark there remained hope with a warmth so gentle and pure. So quiet was the void. Bereft of pain. Barren of strife. But as the stage began to glow and the warmth of the goddess grew there was a certainty upon them.

Yes, there as the goddess woke from their slumber their passion grew. Devotion to their great work flared and all who gazed upon it stared in wonder. The lands reached their hands and the seas rushed as blood to fill the earth with pulse. Rising... rising... so much life flourished under the watchful gaze of the gods. The cradle of their love, their hate, their devotion.

And in the midst of all life that came, the goddess of war searched between all of one people. Eyes graced them in her splendor. There, in the grand fortress where light came to all, the honeyed words of one greater than them echoed soundly. Pulsing through every loyal soul that knew the voice of their shepherd came words that brought the many to bow. Yes, in the gathering of the Virtus, was Ser Navari Sathia given the honor and the pledge to become the champion of not just Celestine, but of the Virtus. For they were her people and she was their champion.





Navari stands at a proud 7'4". Flowing silver hair accompanied by emerald eyes and a gentle tint of pink. A warrior through and through and eager to serve on land or sea. Most recognized by silver armor and gold accents. An ideal knight in spirit and strength with an unwavering faith to her creator and an undying duty to serve her people. Where there is Celestine's call Navari is never far with a hungry grin and bloodshot eyes.


Senja Penttilä



This was nice. It was a brief respite in the world of war, but it was one that even she needed. Between the desperate and the demanding it was here that she felt she could be a simple woman of the holy order once more. The gardens she tended to… she wondered how they were. Even with Brother Mithal’s assurance she thought often of her children. How beautiful had they grown? How tall were they now? There was yet still the creeping thought that had began to etch its way into her mind. ‘Would she live to see them?’ If she could physically wave such a thought away she would. It would certainly save her the trouble of praying for strength. But she was thankful that she was unburdened with such thoughts on a regular basis. Still, it had only caused her to come to the conclusion that she had failed somewhere. It wasn’t beyond her and it certainly was expected but where she looked she could find no clear answer. Even as she gave her cheerful nods to Jean and a healthy smile she couldn’t really figure out what it was that bothered her so greatly in this moment.

Lubna provided a new character for her testament, one that she didn’t recall meeting with very often, though with how many faces she saw from day to day it didn’t surprise her that there were just those that escaped her. She spoke. She spoke and…

It was like a drop landed in the middle of a puddle before her. The ripples echoing words that were never meant to cause such stir. But why? She had simply been polite but with every passing moment she felt the ripples around her begin to grow. Tired eyes blinked and looked to heaven for an answer. But as she looked to God for a sign her eyes came crashing down to the bolt of the holy that showed her the way. Those ripples grew to waves as eyes widened in revelation. In the time she had taken to seek council the poorest among them had abandoned her.

Pain seemed to swell within as a dark reality touched upon her spirit. For all those she had touched and all those she had given comfort to there yet remained one among her flock that she had left to wander to the den of wolves. Even for all the rumors and all the words she had found every convenience that left her to abandon the very notion of a successful shepherd. Throat tightened tightly, the demon on her shoulder grasping tightly.

“Look upon your failure and soak in the sight. It is the one you left to the wild. It is the one you failed. Now- instead of turning to your God- he turns to the world. Cold and alone and never to return. For all your victories, you will never save him.”

“Leave me, demon!”

Her throat finally loosened, the gulp passing without more than the faintest of noises. But even with this release there was something that she could not shake. Hand came to heart as she reflected over Jean once more.

Where had she been all this time? She had made time for so many people and thrice over. She enjoyed the comfort of those who loved her presence and the joy that others had brought her without her say so. Even Franz, who had found the love of his life, still received her blessings and more than he had ever asked for, but in her distractions and her regularities she let slip someone who she thought was so essential to the team. As she took a step forward to approach him she felt a twinge in her chest, a sharp pain that left her to ponder a simple question.
“Has my heart cracked?”

Resolve took her once more. No more running away from this. It was time to start making things right. Feet moved her to stand beside Jean. Radiance emanated from the curls of her lips as eyes closed some to show sincerity to the both of them.

“May I offer a blessing for the beloved?” She began, pressing fingers together with gentle hands.

@LetMeDoStuff@TGM


Senja Penttilä




There was peace. The sounds of many a soldier sleeping. The gentle touches of the hand of a man upon his fellow as he expressed a story. The smiles and tears alike that were accompanied by laughter and contemplation. A dance in the wind. A stroll in the halls. There was the sound of war, of course, but when you could hardly afford to go anywhere and you were so far away from the frontline it didn’t matter. In the moment you could only hope for the will of your fellow men to keep you safe while you recovered. You would hope that once you were on the frontline you could buy your friends time so they could enjoy their break as well.

Senja experiences pockets of peace and rest but it was hardly ever a long life lived without something to do. She was always wanted to be active. Living life as a hermit with no prospects or simply living for conversation wasn’t quite all there was to her. Fact of the matter is that she was equal parts a woman of faith and a soldier of faith. That was simply all there was to it. So long as she remained in her own hopes she would persist in trying to help others even if it meant she was in wars fought on the field or in a hospital. She cherished every moment she witnessed the gratitude of another. That was her reward for a job well done. Ensuring a life went on even just a little bit longer was all that mattered to her here...

Now it was time to be a soldier.



Senja had done her best not to pull attention to herself in the presence of the captain, though she respected his authority over her. There wasn’t much to be done about this situation and in the dribble of rain she felt as though the enemy would be upon them today. It was simply a cautious hunch, but it was one that she was very aware of. Still, such things would be taken care of in time. For now it was time for her to meet with friends that she hadn’t had a chance to really speak with in so long.

Though she wished to speak with the others, Diana needed her immediate attention. She approached the woman placing a gentle hand upon her arm and gave a sunny smile.

“Diana, it has been a long time. May god grace you with good health and rest on this day. How are you?”

@Landaus Five-One


Senja Penttilä



Senja only giggled at Victoria’s brash entry. Ever a forward woman that one was. Even still, for all the pride in her voice- it was always good to see a soldier with their spirits about them. How proud her loved ones must have been of her to be able to endure such hardship and retain her strength. “Love and blessings are always bountiful for those who are ready to receive them… but- maybe a simple drink will do for one so down to earth. But we will save that for later. I do, however, look forward to see how our friend graces us today.”

As she finished assisting the musician with his position she gave a heart warming smile and stepped to the side with but few words to offer him for his anticipated service. “It is my pleasure, Cienie.”

With every step Senja watched Cienie’s motions and recalled his voice. A stroll in the mainland was brought to her. The memory was rather clear under the blue sky of a bright and sunny day. A clear path cut of stone and surrounded by lush green fields of rest. The chirping of birds and the sound of an accordion out beyond sight gracing her and her companion as they settled down upon a gentle bench. Finely crafted and fair suited for a couple of very peaceful friends seeking the shade under a great oak tree. Breezing the branches a gentle wind carries their song.



Beside her a man spoke, the same language carrying across but with no understanding outside of gestures in motion. Though aware of it he may have been, it did not stop them from taking a moment of respite in the park. It didn’t stop them from enjoying a humble meal of bread. A few pieces for themselves. A few for the birds. But there was that peace. In that peace she found herself drowsy. Or- at the very least- fully aware of every bit of stress folding into her. A few tears out of the sorrow she felt for others, but a handkerchief dried her very eyes. For that brief moment- she enjoyed the quiet. For that brief moment she slouched into the bench and closed her eyes.



Senja felt as though she may have blinked for but a moment, but she had awoken from her trance feeling reborn midway through his performance. Medicine was good for the body, but it has always been said that music is good for the soul. In the eyes of the patients she saw something different. She had brought them comfort and hope, sure, but in those many soft spoken notes she witnessed emotions arising in the souls so drowned in their own pain. Before her lay the miracle of rest. Even some who had mostly endured their moans of pain quieted down, focusing on the flow of wind that wrapped so tenderly about their souls. A dance of heaven so gently produced through the lungs of one so young and kind.

Before Senja lay a man who couldn’t help but stare upon the boy, eyes half open and calm. His left hand wrapped tightly around his blanket, lips shivering with a look to his patched arm. Before Senja lay a man who did not often speak, so unwilling to budge and unwilling to accept sleep out of fear and anger. Before Senja lay a man who finally turned to look at her as she crouched down to meet his gaze.

“I… I’m tired.”

“I know, I feel it every time I look upon you, Oliver.”

“I… I want to see my mother. I want to enjoy her food again. I want to lay beside the fire again… head in her lap.”

“You will, sooner than you know.”

“Can you?…”

Senja needed to hear no more, taking his hand as he offered it to her she gently held him with her arm, letting him peacefully enjoy the hard labor of their ally before watching him drift away into sleep. It had been the most relaxed he had looked in so long. Muscles gave way and hand transitioned from a tight grip to a gentle hold. As she fully confirmed he was now in a gentle state, she slowly released him, placing his hand over his stomach and pulling the blanket over his chest with head adjusted well for the pillow.

It was then that Senja found herself yawning quite softly, bring a hand to cover her mouth as she found some trouble standing back up, but everywhere around her she felt the radiance of peace shining upon them. She felt for those patients. She felt for every last one. Now here they enjoyed a rare treat with many drifting to their rest. Some with smiles, some with closed eyes, and others with gentle reminders of a life so simple that all reassurance that had been given to them- from Senja or otherwise- weren’t such a fantasy. Maybe it would be alright after all.

As the performance came to a close the Cruxian stood slowly, half tempted to sleep upon the floor there and then as she fought her urges and took careful steps to return to Cienie’s side. With a soft voice she spoke. “Victoria was right. That was gorgeous. Where did you learn to play such music, Cienie?”
@samakama@Smike
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet