In an ideal movie, you know on the big screen where the guy gets the girl after returning home from a war and she’s taken because she couldn’t patiently wait, things would lead for the better. He would be able to stir the old feelings within her from the past to make her throw away everything she's worked for, by breaking all reason and kissing her right then and there. Her feelings would relish the moment. Nothing would hold the female protagonist back from kissing this man that made her rush with emotion she thought she had forgotten about, years ago. All his words would reach her heart like an anaconda coiling around it, squeezing it with agonizing might, reminding her of things that could have been, and her selfish side would get the best of her. She would take everything about this situation and make him her's once and for all.
Aisling hadn’t seen Jackson for five long years, which was her fault - she wouldn't deny that. There was more risk with her staying and trying to build a future with him than her breaking ties all together. He wasn’t entirely innocent himself because he too failed to contact her. He let fleeting time pass him by, only to show his face now at the least opportune night. If things felt right, truly and deeply, like they would in cinema, Ash would take him up on his offer and allow her wild emotions to manifest in the world and burst into flames. Pure ecstasy.
This wasn’t that kind of movie though and this sure as hell wasn’t a fairy tale any child would hope and dream for. She was the princess, but he wasn’t her knight. She would be married to Lucas Henderson come a week before September, near the end of her beautiful summer bliss. How many times did she imagine this? Her on top, him on bottom. If only she could say none, but of course, she would be lying. The way she looked at him was a way a woman did for someone she use to love. The first year away from him was the worst year of her life. Her mind would get carried away with the regret of not allowing him a chance with her. For not allowing him to fight the odds of being with someone like her. She did not think she could ever get depressed because of a decision she made when it came to a boy, but she did, and it made her first year at college a living hell. If it wasn’t for her dad getting married with a woman only a few years older than her the summer after that year, Ash may have lost all ambition to pursue a career in writing and succumb to this creeping sadness she had no idea existed until she broke down crying in her bedroom alone. Her long lasting regret seemed endless.
Everything about Jackson and her pointed to failure. He wasn’t a man her parents, more so her mother than her father, wanted. Ash had a hard time seeing how her mother could be proud of a man like Jackson, even though when she looked down at him as he talked to her about his achievements, she couldn’t help but smile. You’ve come a long way, Jackson. He wasn’t a man, who could take responsibility over everything she would earn after her parents departed from this world. She was their only child which meant everything in their name would be given to her, minus the things they promise their second husband and wife. As much as she wanted things to be easy, Ash knew he would be harshly judged and chewed out alive by not just by her immediate family, but by her entire family. The moment they laid eyes on him, she could only see things go wrong. Call her a pessimist but you don’t know her family like she does, especially her uncles on her mother’s side. Jackson wasn’t a man that she could be with, but he was the boy she still loved.
The one thing Ash hated the most was feeling weak. Putting herself in a situation that only added damage to her ego and strength as a woman. With Jackson around, everything she knew could come crashing into her in seconds, like the current thrashing into an iceberg, over and over again. She couldn’t find the resilience in her to yell at him, at his foolhardy jokes, at his sudden appearance… this was all too much to handle this early in the morning. She also was surprised multiple times within the course of a few hours, so her will to raise her voice and slap sense into him was little to none. Plus, he was not in the wrong. If anything, she was more in the wrong than him.
Her anger dissipated as fast as it built within her petite body. She was at fault. She had drank a little too much the previous night and passed out plastered on a park bench. What drove her drunken self to walk out of a party and to a park? Why a bench of all things? She did not know.
Not only did Adi suddenly appear, and now Ash knows why, but also her best friend, Alex, and her old flame, Jackson. Weeks before her wedding too. Alex would have been her man of honor (because she didn’t really have many girlfriends) but he told her to not reserve his seat because there was a high chance he couldn’t make it. Now that he was back, did that mean he could attend the most important day of her life? She would have to ask him at lunch today, as well as contact her mother after receiving an answer. The biggest thing though was her past seemed to be catching up with her, like Jackson winning the race that one, exhilarating morning.
But then this also brings up the question – why did she drink that much in the first place? Lucas always had his business trips, this wasn’t a new occurrence to her. Recently, she secured a stable job in journalism and it was the final countdown to her wedding day. She was going to be married in less than a month to Lucas, her close friend and lover she found in college. Or well, he found her.
She was going to be married…
Jackson’s voice broke her train of thought. His index finger gently touched her cheek, where there was a tear trailing down, she didn't realize she had been crying for that past minute (or well, tears slipped out of her hold). The feeling of nostalgia was not only intoxicating but also painful. The reminder of things that never came to be was quite taxing. Everything was her choice. She chose not to trap Jackson in a relationship with her where it would be doomed from the start. There was so much he would have to sign up for and Jackson could do better. Any man for that matter could do better. The fact that it was before the crack of dawn didn't help the twists and turns within her stomach. She would admit she was tired, and didn't doubt he could use some sleep himself, especially from last night's events.
Listening carefully, Ash attentively watched him as he explained to her everything. As much as he didn't want to say some of these things, he did, for her. A few weeks he's been here? Should I be upset he didn't bump into me until now? Rolling her eyes at his playful banter when he commented on how wonderful it was to see her body again, she couldn't help but smile. As much as she did have anger within her, she was more surprised than anything to see his face again, to hear him joking like that child she knew five years ago, and to feel his gaze resting on her face, reluctant to look away.
As much as it wasn't modest for her to look like this for any other men than her own, that being Lucas, she appreciated Jackson's gesture. If the tables were flipped, she would have done the same, but perhaps covered him up with Lucas' clothes. He wanted her to sleep comfortably with the perks of seeing her body again, she couldn't fault him for that. He was still the same old Jackson after all. Ash wasn't ashamed of her body. She kept up with it for a reason. Not to look good for others, but to feel good about herself. And she did. Her body was the one thing she took pride in. Anyone could tell that she was a healthy and strong woman. If anything, she should want to strut herself in front of the world. However, she could never be that 'showy', but she could be rather reckless when drunk.
Then Jackson mentioned Lucas (or in his terminology 'your lover or some shit'). He came by my house? She would have to talk to her fiance about that when he returned from his trip, or perhaps by phone. Ash patiently waited for Jackson to finish everything he had to say. Relief did wash over her when he said she didn't royally fuck up entirely. She still passed out and slept in another man's house, which would still have to be told to Lucas because they held no secrets between each other, but at least, she stood faithful. She would have to thank Jackson for restraining himself and taking care of her when she couldn't.
When he said his last comment, she couldn't help but let out her adorable, yet not amusing to her, laugh. Her laugh, which wasn't witnessed often, was unrestrained, blissful, and bright. Something she never thought fit the way she looked. It was too cutesy for her own good. After taking a moment to wipe her tears away, she pulled off of him, her face lit with a serene calm. She wouldn't give Jackson hell. He didn't deserve it. He treated her like a friend would. But that did pose the question of where Adi went. Hopefully she got home safely.
"You’re such an idiot." she lightly joked. Her tone was more pleasant than before, as if a weight had been taken off of her. He was an idiot, yes, that proposed to have sex with a unavailable woman, but he was an idiot who also made sure she was okay, and for that, she would be forever grateful.
Sitting beside him rather than on top of him, Ash sighed. Her arm still touched him, but now they were in the position of friends. She was ready to answer his questions but perhaps she should save most of what she had to say for later. She didn't know how to soften the blow, so she went right out and bluntly told him, "I will be a married woman in three weeks." The air grew silent.
Rather than let it linger for too long, she showed him her ring with a gentle smile on her face. Her eyes were doe-eyed when she stared at it. The ring was extravagant for her taste but it was a gift from Lucas. She did love Jackson, as someone she use to have romantic feelings for, but she also loved Lucas, who helped her when she needed someone the most. Lucas meant more to her than she would admit. The only way she could express her love fully was by marrying him. She wouldn't have said yes if she didn't think he didn't love her. Sure, he could be rather controlling but she didn't mind having his direction. If it wasn't for him, she probably wouldn't have landed the job she has now. Many things she achieved was all thanks to him (she truly didn't give herself enough credit for her actions).
"I will gladly give you an invite the next time we hangout. That's if you'd like." She looked at Jackson lovingly. She had no idea how much saying this would take a toll on him. "The one thing is, you'd have to... watch your words. You know, my family." Ash was well aware the she was born in a family of rich elitist and if her friends ever did meet them, they would probably shit bricks. "Some family members couldn't make it, so I can squeeze you and Adi in?" Ash wasn't going to say that she was afraid to search for his contact information and invite him to her wedding prior. But with him being here, she might as well invite him and his girlfriend. Adi must be his girlfriend, right? "I didn't expect Alex to visit me tonight... Adielle had the pleasure of seeing him again. He's been away for awhile. I'd need to ask if he can make the wedding too. I-" She hesitated with her next words, "Kept my wedding strictly family. For lack of a better excuse, I just didn't know how to go about contacting the few friends I have, or well had." The word 'had' was a bit heavier than the rest, since she was sitting next to someone she didn't think would return back into her life. "Alex would be the only one I kept in the loop, I guess." There was a tinge of regret behind her tone, she was torn between what she wanted and what everyone else wanted, but of course, to keep the peace, she would give in to the wants of others.
"You wouldn't believe what he's doing now. He just got back from Iraq on a mercenary's job. He's a security contractor and not completely affiliated with the military, but he is still able to do something aggressive without being 'attached' to the government." She didn't know if talking about Ghost was a good thing, but this was her way to fill the awkward silence, "Well, either way, if you're up for it, I will sit you all together. It would be like Camp all over again!" She giggled. Oh the old feelings. This probably wasn't going to go away any time soon. It was obvious Ash wanted to keep the mood light, just as much as he did.
After standing up and allowing herself to stretch a little, she offered her hand to him so that she can bring him up to her. While doing so, she asked, "Have you ridden a horse before?" Her brown orbs eagerly looked up at him. They were almost the distance they were when they first kissed. She looking up at him inches away, minus the whole 'teasing' him part. "I'd like to introduce you to my horse. I've had him for a few years now. Are you free Saturday?" She hesitantly inquired (not wanting to give up the chance of seeing him again). Ash didn't see this as a date, she saw this as two old friends catching up and enjoying a day together. He stood there looking down at her, while she acted like no time had passed them by. It was like only yesterday they had their bittersweet goodbye at summer camp.
Unexpectedly, Ash out of all people went in for an embrace. A tight one too. She wasn't one to know boundaries well like other women, but she needed to do this. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body. Slipping her arms under his, she pressed her left cheek against his chest, and joked, "Next time this happens, you should put a shirt on me." She glanced up at him and stuck her tongue out teasingly. Playful little Aisling. Only in front of a select few. This night didn't have to be more weird/surreal than it already was, so she continued to make it seem like nothing between them has changed. At least prior to them getting heavily romantic with each other.
"By the way. You're a pig. You seriously need to learn to pick up after yourself." Her expression turned into a scolding mother, "You're 21, Jackson, and you still leave dirty clothes everywhere!" Freeing him from her soft hold, in lingerie yes, she grabbed her dress off the floor, unintentionally giving him a nice display of her bending over. So much for keeping her dress in mint condition.
Laying it on his table, Aisling proposed, "How about you give me some actual pajamas to wear, we get another hour or two of sleep, and then you take me home. Sound good?" She folded her dress and placed it on the table, before adding, "I'm already here. No point in leaving this early in the morning."
Aisling hadn’t seen Jackson for five long years, which was her fault - she wouldn't deny that. There was more risk with her staying and trying to build a future with him than her breaking ties all together. He wasn’t entirely innocent himself because he too failed to contact her. He let fleeting time pass him by, only to show his face now at the least opportune night. If things felt right, truly and deeply, like they would in cinema, Ash would take him up on his offer and allow her wild emotions to manifest in the world and burst into flames. Pure ecstasy.
This wasn’t that kind of movie though and this sure as hell wasn’t a fairy tale any child would hope and dream for. She was the princess, but he wasn’t her knight. She would be married to Lucas Henderson come a week before September, near the end of her beautiful summer bliss. How many times did she imagine this? Her on top, him on bottom. If only she could say none, but of course, she would be lying. The way she looked at him was a way a woman did for someone she use to love. The first year away from him was the worst year of her life. Her mind would get carried away with the regret of not allowing him a chance with her. For not allowing him to fight the odds of being with someone like her. She did not think she could ever get depressed because of a decision she made when it came to a boy, but she did, and it made her first year at college a living hell. If it wasn’t for her dad getting married with a woman only a few years older than her the summer after that year, Ash may have lost all ambition to pursue a career in writing and succumb to this creeping sadness she had no idea existed until she broke down crying in her bedroom alone. Her long lasting regret seemed endless.
Everything about Jackson and her pointed to failure. He wasn’t a man her parents, more so her mother than her father, wanted. Ash had a hard time seeing how her mother could be proud of a man like Jackson, even though when she looked down at him as he talked to her about his achievements, she couldn’t help but smile. You’ve come a long way, Jackson. He wasn’t a man, who could take responsibility over everything she would earn after her parents departed from this world. She was their only child which meant everything in their name would be given to her, minus the things they promise their second husband and wife. As much as she wanted things to be easy, Ash knew he would be harshly judged and chewed out alive by not just by her immediate family, but by her entire family. The moment they laid eyes on him, she could only see things go wrong. Call her a pessimist but you don’t know her family like she does, especially her uncles on her mother’s side. Jackson wasn’t a man that she could be with, but he was the boy she still loved.
The one thing Ash hated the most was feeling weak. Putting herself in a situation that only added damage to her ego and strength as a woman. With Jackson around, everything she knew could come crashing into her in seconds, like the current thrashing into an iceberg, over and over again. She couldn’t find the resilience in her to yell at him, at his foolhardy jokes, at his sudden appearance… this was all too much to handle this early in the morning. She also was surprised multiple times within the course of a few hours, so her will to raise her voice and slap sense into him was little to none. Plus, he was not in the wrong. If anything, she was more in the wrong than him.
Her anger dissipated as fast as it built within her petite body. She was at fault. She had drank a little too much the previous night and passed out plastered on a park bench. What drove her drunken self to walk out of a party and to a park? Why a bench of all things? She did not know.
Not only did Adi suddenly appear, and now Ash knows why, but also her best friend, Alex, and her old flame, Jackson. Weeks before her wedding too. Alex would have been her man of honor (because she didn’t really have many girlfriends) but he told her to not reserve his seat because there was a high chance he couldn’t make it. Now that he was back, did that mean he could attend the most important day of her life? She would have to ask him at lunch today, as well as contact her mother after receiving an answer. The biggest thing though was her past seemed to be catching up with her, like Jackson winning the race that one, exhilarating morning.
But then this also brings up the question – why did she drink that much in the first place? Lucas always had his business trips, this wasn’t a new occurrence to her. Recently, she secured a stable job in journalism and it was the final countdown to her wedding day. She was going to be married in less than a month to Lucas, her close friend and lover she found in college. Or well, he found her.
She was going to be married…
Jackson’s voice broke her train of thought. His index finger gently touched her cheek, where there was a tear trailing down, she didn't realize she had been crying for that past minute (or well, tears slipped out of her hold). The feeling of nostalgia was not only intoxicating but also painful. The reminder of things that never came to be was quite taxing. Everything was her choice. She chose not to trap Jackson in a relationship with her where it would be doomed from the start. There was so much he would have to sign up for and Jackson could do better. Any man for that matter could do better. The fact that it was before the crack of dawn didn't help the twists and turns within her stomach. She would admit she was tired, and didn't doubt he could use some sleep himself, especially from last night's events.
Listening carefully, Ash attentively watched him as he explained to her everything. As much as he didn't want to say some of these things, he did, for her. A few weeks he's been here? Should I be upset he didn't bump into me until now? Rolling her eyes at his playful banter when he commented on how wonderful it was to see her body again, she couldn't help but smile. As much as she did have anger within her, she was more surprised than anything to see his face again, to hear him joking like that child she knew five years ago, and to feel his gaze resting on her face, reluctant to look away.
As much as it wasn't modest for her to look like this for any other men than her own, that being Lucas, she appreciated Jackson's gesture. If the tables were flipped, she would have done the same, but perhaps covered him up with Lucas' clothes. He wanted her to sleep comfortably with the perks of seeing her body again, she couldn't fault him for that. He was still the same old Jackson after all. Ash wasn't ashamed of her body. She kept up with it for a reason. Not to look good for others, but to feel good about herself. And she did. Her body was the one thing she took pride in. Anyone could tell that she was a healthy and strong woman. If anything, she should want to strut herself in front of the world. However, she could never be that 'showy', but she could be rather reckless when drunk.
Then Jackson mentioned Lucas (or in his terminology 'your lover or some shit'). He came by my house? She would have to talk to her fiance about that when he returned from his trip, or perhaps by phone. Ash patiently waited for Jackson to finish everything he had to say. Relief did wash over her when he said she didn't royally fuck up entirely. She still passed out and slept in another man's house, which would still have to be told to Lucas because they held no secrets between each other, but at least, she stood faithful. She would have to thank Jackson for restraining himself and taking care of her when she couldn't.
When he said his last comment, she couldn't help but let out her adorable, yet not amusing to her, laugh. Her laugh, which wasn't witnessed often, was unrestrained, blissful, and bright. Something she never thought fit the way she looked. It was too cutesy for her own good. After taking a moment to wipe her tears away, she pulled off of him, her face lit with a serene calm. She wouldn't give Jackson hell. He didn't deserve it. He treated her like a friend would. But that did pose the question of where Adi went. Hopefully she got home safely.
"You’re such an idiot." she lightly joked. Her tone was more pleasant than before, as if a weight had been taken off of her. He was an idiot, yes, that proposed to have sex with a unavailable woman, but he was an idiot who also made sure she was okay, and for that, she would be forever grateful.
Sitting beside him rather than on top of him, Ash sighed. Her arm still touched him, but now they were in the position of friends. She was ready to answer his questions but perhaps she should save most of what she had to say for later. She didn't know how to soften the blow, so she went right out and bluntly told him, "I will be a married woman in three weeks." The air grew silent.
Rather than let it linger for too long, she showed him her ring with a gentle smile on her face. Her eyes were doe-eyed when she stared at it. The ring was extravagant for her taste but it was a gift from Lucas. She did love Jackson, as someone she use to have romantic feelings for, but she also loved Lucas, who helped her when she needed someone the most. Lucas meant more to her than she would admit. The only way she could express her love fully was by marrying him. She wouldn't have said yes if she didn't think he didn't love her. Sure, he could be rather controlling but she didn't mind having his direction. If it wasn't for him, she probably wouldn't have landed the job she has now. Many things she achieved was all thanks to him (she truly didn't give herself enough credit for her actions).
"I will gladly give you an invite the next time we hangout. That's if you'd like." She looked at Jackson lovingly. She had no idea how much saying this would take a toll on him. "The one thing is, you'd have to... watch your words. You know, my family." Ash was well aware the she was born in a family of rich elitist and if her friends ever did meet them, they would probably shit bricks. "Some family members couldn't make it, so I can squeeze you and Adi in?" Ash wasn't going to say that she was afraid to search for his contact information and invite him to her wedding prior. But with him being here, she might as well invite him and his girlfriend. Adi must be his girlfriend, right? "I didn't expect Alex to visit me tonight... Adielle had the pleasure of seeing him again. He's been away for awhile. I'd need to ask if he can make the wedding too. I-" She hesitated with her next words, "Kept my wedding strictly family. For lack of a better excuse, I just didn't know how to go about contacting the few friends I have, or well had." The word 'had' was a bit heavier than the rest, since she was sitting next to someone she didn't think would return back into her life. "Alex would be the only one I kept in the loop, I guess." There was a tinge of regret behind her tone, she was torn between what she wanted and what everyone else wanted, but of course, to keep the peace, she would give in to the wants of others.
"You wouldn't believe what he's doing now. He just got back from Iraq on a mercenary's job. He's a security contractor and not completely affiliated with the military, but he is still able to do something aggressive without being 'attached' to the government." She didn't know if talking about Ghost was a good thing, but this was her way to fill the awkward silence, "Well, either way, if you're up for it, I will sit you all together. It would be like Camp all over again!" She giggled. Oh the old feelings. This probably wasn't going to go away any time soon. It was obvious Ash wanted to keep the mood light, just as much as he did.
After standing up and allowing herself to stretch a little, she offered her hand to him so that she can bring him up to her. While doing so, she asked, "Have you ridden a horse before?" Her brown orbs eagerly looked up at him. They were almost the distance they were when they first kissed. She looking up at him inches away, minus the whole 'teasing' him part. "I'd like to introduce you to my horse. I've had him for a few years now. Are you free Saturday?" She hesitantly inquired (not wanting to give up the chance of seeing him again). Ash didn't see this as a date, she saw this as two old friends catching up and enjoying a day together. He stood there looking down at her, while she acted like no time had passed them by. It was like only yesterday they had their bittersweet goodbye at summer camp.
Unexpectedly, Ash out of all people went in for an embrace. A tight one too. She wasn't one to know boundaries well like other women, but she needed to do this. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body. Slipping her arms under his, she pressed her left cheek against his chest, and joked, "Next time this happens, you should put a shirt on me." She glanced up at him and stuck her tongue out teasingly. Playful little Aisling. Only in front of a select few. This night didn't have to be more weird/surreal than it already was, so she continued to make it seem like nothing between them has changed. At least prior to them getting heavily romantic with each other.
"By the way. You're a pig. You seriously need to learn to pick up after yourself." Her expression turned into a scolding mother, "You're 21, Jackson, and you still leave dirty clothes everywhere!" Freeing him from her soft hold, in lingerie yes, she grabbed her dress off the floor, unintentionally giving him a nice display of her bending over. So much for keeping her dress in mint condition.
Laying it on his table, Aisling proposed, "How about you give me some actual pajamas to wear, we get another hour or two of sleep, and then you take me home. Sound good?" She folded her dress and placed it on the table, before adding, "I'm already here. No point in leaving this early in the morning."
