Doc Doctor

Arena Chat Thread

@MelonHead
Not all characters than can fight need to be serious. Mine may stray into silliness, but that doesn't mean they aren't legit. Realistically, it takes all kinds.

Arena Chat Thread

@MelonHeadNo worries then, I can fight seriously when the tournament comes around. I just prefer to have fun in unranked matches.

Yami and Doc vs Cruallassar and Lunar

Shashous-Throth had learned that evading the ranger's arrows would require much more concentration than usual. Sometimes they blew up, sometimes they split into many, sometimes they moved faster than could be avoided. And so, instead of trying to keep track of the arrows, it would keep track of where its foe aimed. It would have initially tried to slip to the right, but as the aim followed it the monster would suddenly veer in the opposite direction by shoving off the ground as hard as it could. This form of evasion was far more difficult than what it was used to. It could easily keep track of aim, as it had devoured countless "heroes" by capturing their dominant arms mid-attack with its tail, yet archers didn't have to move nearly as much when lining up a target. The sonic arrow launched in the beginning of their fight had completely missed it. This time all three came very close to ending the creature's life. Only one missed entirely, one tore up its good arm as it was pushing off, and the third grazed its flank, the shockwave shattering two ribs. Had it been a few inches closer the last arrow might have caused severe internal damage, too much to be safely healed by auto cannibalism. The ribs were already too much of a risky proposition to devote valuable flesh and blood to fixing.

However... the fight might as well have been over. It had faked death to lure Crual in. It had studied his style to decide upon the most efficient way to catch him off guard. And it had anticipated just what would happen when it did. The ranger had been entirely justified in underestimating the Magna Pater's powers, but he had made a grave error in consideration of its intelligence. The mucous that it had slung into his face bore cytotoxic properties. Its primary effect was to cause wounds to rot, but one shouldn't forget that the venom of the spitting cobra was also cytotoxic. It destroyed eyesight. Though Crual had closed his eyes and tried to wipe off the goo, that would scarcely help. It was virtually inevitable that it would seep into his vision like how stinging shampoo does, when one smears it over shut eyes without water to help wash it away. What's more, him not knowing this would likely result in the ranger not being as cautious as one normally would when trying to rub away a bother in the peepers. Not that it would make a great difference. He may have been able to see through shut eyes, but it would be a mean feat to see at all with the oncoming threat of complete and permanent blindness.

Yami and Doc vs Cruallassar and Lunar

If the ranger had known what the monster was planning, he'd not have tried using the shadow speed move on it in the same manner as he had done before. It had known he would try such a thing again. Of course the prey would use the strange movement technique before it reached him. He had done it before, and before he had appeared above and behind. Those were the most likely spots to expect him.

It would not try to whirl around again to swipe at Crual. That hadn't worked before. It knew that the humanoid knew that it could "see" without "seeing", but it doubted that he'd know in advance about what would come next. Something that was, by its essence, a perfect tool to hinder those that relied on eyes. In order for a man to see something coming he had to look, and therein lay the key.

The monster's tail snapped sharply upwards at the ranger as he appeared behind it, like a whip. But not to grab or smack him. It was to flick a couple fat globules of that sickening body mucous up towards his face at close range. A distraction that would be, let's face it, really freaking gross. Absolutely fucking disgusting.

The horror knew that in that moment the ranger wouldn't be able to see the direction that it dodged off to, as he'd probably be too busy trying to look away in time or trying to see through the smelly mess of monster phlegm. On at least one level the thought would probably pass through the rangers head that it would attack him if he looked away. It wouldn't try to nail him as he landed from his shadow jump, though. He had that bow ready and the monster knew that sometimes a little more strategy was required. That, and perhaps it wanted to delay the end so that it could take a more satisfying revenge upon the prey for daring to cause it pain.

Yami and Doc vs Cruallassar and Lunar

The ranger had called the monster's bluff. It had indeed only been faking. It had taken that one arrow on purpose, devoting more of the healing from the last bite into its body rather than the wing, keeping some food left in its belly in order to heal up its insides as it went down. But it knew also that sometimes tricks didn't work. It had eaten opossums before. It had been keeping its ultrasonic echolocation trained upon its enemy, feeling up the contours of his form with unseen, malignant feelers of sound. It knew very well what a bow was. It noticed how he drew it back. Right as Crual fired, the monster's lax muscles constricted with immense force and it bolted forwards, throwing the guise of death aside. No, not into the explosive arrow. It would bolt beneath his aim in an attempt to both avoid the arrow and close the distance as quickly as possible, the deadly projectile narrowly missing and soaring on for some meters behind the Magna Pater, having further to fly than expected due to the intended target not being in the way to get hit. It would be but a few seconds until it got within reach. Its body seemed noticeably... slimier than before. It was secreting more of that congealing mucous, the rushing thing glistening in the light of the fire.

Arena Chat Thread

@MelonHead
Sounds good to me. I'll use...

Kentucky Tom

Name: Kentucky Tom
Age: 29
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 180 pounds
Race: Human
Class: Jerkwad
Alignment: Chaotic
Eye Color: Unknown



Weapons and Equipment: Sunglasses, cigarette, white suit.

Physical Abilities/Skills: Physically and mentally, Kentucky Tom is remarkably average. He's no more fit than a man of his age normally is. He is, however, one seriously hardass dickweed who used to be a fast talkin' auctioneer. He has only one special ability, but it is virtually impossible to kill or incapacitate with it. His power is known as "Really Buggersome Affectations". He can inflict nasty effects upon enemies by speaking the magic words of a curse and then pointing and firing a softball sized orb of arcane energy. The speed of the shot depends of the nastiness of the curse. Such curses as "Horndoggums Humprumpus" travel at half the speed of a small thrown object, whilst curses like "Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum" move as fast as bullets. The only way to break these curses is to kill him. The known curses he uses are...

*"Impreggio Bitchpleasum"- Impregnates whomever he is pointing at, forcing a baby to be conceived within them. This works on men and inanimate objects.

*"Baldickus Bodilicious"- Instantly removes all the hair on your body.

*"Gayroticus Weinerfestum"- Turns the victim gay.

*"Fartilliarum Skidmarkius"- Gives you the messy farts.

*"Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum"- Turns your skin pink.

*"Retardingus Shitheadellus"- Lowers an enemy's I.Q by one point.

*"Dirtlingus Shoutloudius"- Forces an opponent to yell out their deepest, dirtiest secret and then proceed to do so again every two minutes.

*"Whiteytightus Fucknuttums"- Makes your underwear ultra-tight and uncomfortable.

*"Beardantili Hipsterium"- Gives you a huge beard.

*"Nudesweeta Bareassum"- Evaporates the target's clothing into an embarrasing gooey honey mist.

*"Weaboonekus Fucknuttus"- Gives you a bunny tail and cat ears.

*"Pisswiggums Bladdersmallis"- Makes you have to pee really bad.

*"Horndoggums Humprumpus"- Makes you insanely attracted to the next thing Kentucky Tom points at.

*"Nipgantius Bigtittumus"- The victim's chest area will grow to five times normal size.

*"Fatassium Bastardus"- Makes the victim obese.

*"Lolhardickus"- Forces the victim into an awkward situation the likes of which occur most often to us in the morning. If used on a female, it will materialize the required assets upon her being.

*"Pussysobbium Crybabius"- Makes you cry uncontrollably.

*"Racechangium Laughardiculum"- Changes the victim's race. By changing the first word to "Sexchangium" Tom can alter gender instead.

*"Narratium Expositorium"- Forces the victim to narrate their actions as they do them.

*"Smurftardicus Squeakerotica"- Gives you a high pitched helium voice.

*"Butthorkus Limporkus"- The victim becomes a transgender drag queen complete with outfit and wig.

*"Blindorial Nerdwerdus"- Makes you near and short sighted and materializes a pair of prescription glasses onto your face.

*"Pizzamugums Pubertum"- Gives the victim a load of acne.

*"Glasswhackius Buttmunchickus"- Makes you instantly punch the nearest person with glasses in the face nice and hard, even if it is yourself.

*"Dildus Rubberium"- Turns an enemy's weapon into a certain rubber implement.

*"Foolookius Overthereius"- Makes you look where Tom is pointing.

Background: Kentucky Tom grew up in the rough part of town and was constantly harangued by bullies. Why? He had a smart mouth. Shooting off insults came naturally to Tom. He pissed off teachers, parents, drivers, senators, dogs, you name it. He never had much cash, since his job as an auctioneer didn't pay all that well. But then one day, everything changed. He met an old fakir who beseeched Tom to sell an old Porsche for enough money to bail his deviant grandson out of jail. Tom felt pity for the mystic and at the next auction, sold the vehicle for twice what it was really worth. Out of gratitude the fakir bestowed upon Kentucky Tom the power to incur hilarious status effects upon the unwary.

Theme Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRJ9_yHiNmg

Since the only matches this month are unranked ones, this is a nice time to have a match for pure fun rather than competition.

Arena Chat Thread

Anyone up for a match?

Yami and Doc vs Cruallassar and Lunar

It was no match for the ranger indeed. Imagine a bear rushing an armed hunter. That was the gist of it. The monster could stop quite a few shots with its wing, but not all of them without eating more of its arm. The membrane was strong but thin, and didn't require much nourishment to replenish. But...

One hole in the middle didn't heal up fast enough. Luck? No. There was no such thing in combat. There was intention and result, nothing more. A single energy arrow made it through and passed right through the Magna Pater's body.

There was no death cry, no flailing and drama. It just dropped limp. Like a shot deer. Anticlimactic, but such was life. A stream of bloody, sticky drool oozed from its sagging jowls as its glazed eyes stared vacanty into the unknown.

A peace would settle over the forest. As if after many years of holding its breath, it found that the air was finally clean enough to take in again. But the battle was not over. There was another vampire, and she had leverage...

Yami and Doc vs Cruallassar and Lunar

@Lunarlors34
Crushing is raw compression, tearing is compression plus torque. Arguably tearing is worse, though James could still certainly bruise up Shash. Squeezing the tail off is unlikely though.

Yami and Doc vs Cruallassar and Lunar

The Magna Pater wigged out at the unyielding ground, its jagged teeth grinding and clacking with fury. It then turned in the direction of the ranger. The small human that could find it in the darkness and throw things much nastier than the usual twigs it shrugged off. It decided to target him next, but first...

The monster bit off a chunk of its limp left arm. The wounds on its body ceased bleeding as the holes burned in the other wing were knit back together. Yes. It could eat parts of its own body to heal different injuries. Its shredded left arm still had a use after all. And now that its full attention was on the ranger, he'd be hard pressed to harm it a third time.
It set off in his direction at full speed, weaving two and fro with a mad, unpredictable fervor. It couldn't ambush him and it could scarcely catch him with his ability to fade into shadow. But it was a creature both wicked and wise, and there is always a way...