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Recent Statuses

5 mos ago
Current Discord crashed lads. Can't get back in.
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1 yr ago
I've opened art commissions up, anyone who wants relatively cheap art PM me here or on Discord: LeeRoy#8459
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4 yrs ago
[quote=@Rilla] DID YOU JUST TRY AND CLOTHESLINE ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT [/quote]
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Bio





"If you kill a man, you scorn his wife. If you kill his wife, you scorn her child. If you kill her child, you scorn his village. If you kill his village, you scorn the kingdom. If you kill the kingdom you scorn an empire. If you kill an empire, then who is left?"

Arena Stats

1 Wins / 3 Losses / 0 Draws
1100 points

Most Recent Posts

@Doc Doctor
The moment of contemplative pause had left Shin wondering, if Gonad was trying to comprehend or if he was simply stunned. A pressure against his forehead almost stalled his movement forward, it was the hand of Gonad and it weighed as much as it looked. It was Shin's weight what made the single handed press useless, he had clearly caught him off guard and when he drove his body forward another step his knuckles almost pressed against the chest and stomach of the gigantic fighter. Roughly an inch away from direct skin to skin contact as it were, so he extended his fingers so that the first knuckle of each one touched Gonad.

Like a wave beginning at his extended hands, his body reeled back for a single moment, each muscle rippling backwards and bulging his shoulderblades out for a single second. His calves tensed and the small bones in his feet popped with the force of the motion. A tsunami in the shape of a human body, all of the force recoiled from his feet and back. Every single pound of weight in his body was suddenly accelerated to the highest speed achievable, throwing his forearms forward and bending his knuckles to flatten his fists against Gonad.

He slammed his fists into the berserker, performing an enhanced version of the one inch punch fused a c-shaped punch. Delivering the force across the entire surface of the gigantic body with both hands. Shin was prepared to show Gonad the full force of his cultivated form, he would not bring death to someone who did not yet understand the gravity of the situation he was in.
@Doc Doctor
There was a primeval wisdom to the words of Gonad, but as Shin was preparing to compartmentalize the contemplation of them their true purpose became clear in an arc of gold. Like any smart man, using the sum total of his body's ability was nothing to be shunned.

Shin's hands clenched into cups rather than fists and he began a rapid back and forth slap towards the stream. Raindrops and urine aline were blasted out of the way of his hands with each repeating strike until the stream was depleted. Not a single drop touched his body, and his hands came out of it dryer than they had began.

He stepped in with a slight hop, positioning his left foot close to the inbetween of Gonad's own feet, following from the repeated slaps he brought his hands back and clenched to fists. The force drove from his right heel as he leaned in and extended both of his arms forward in a spiral that would put one hand in the center of Gonad's chest and the other right on his belly button. Not the most powerful blow, but one that would send someone of Gonad's weight staggering backwards.

Though silly, Gonad would not see Shin making the mistake of underestimating his ability.
@Doc Doctor
As Gonad stripped himself to his bare flesh over the course of a few seconds, his name rang in Shin's head, surprising him in its familiarity. Something that the white eyed scientist had told him in passing tingled near the back of his head. 'It was nothing.' He told himself and began to disrobe, matching kind with kind was the very nature of this battle, the silk garments fell away with the slightest pull of a string at the waistband. They drifted in the wind and as the rain saturated them they flowed across the surface and were gradually pulled to the edge of the courtyard.

The two were bared, pure refined humanity exposed itself to another expression of itself, exposed as they were upon conception. Shin was awed at the muscular perfection that stood before him, a naturally build thing of flesh and bone. Forged by its genetics, it was beaten from the raw material of life. Two feet greater than himself, a titan of a warrior with biceps as big as his thighs, the mismatch of bulk was self evident. If it were any other man, any other superhuman even, he would be humbled by the disparity.

This, however, was Shin. A body forged like steel, hammered and tempered through diligent and consistent hard work. Every body part handcrafted by his own will, evolution's control taken away and given to his own hand. Every aspect of his own form, built the way he designed it. The match of genetics and dedication, form and function, made totally manifest in these two men.

Shin took to walking in a circle to the right. Predatory thoughts began to fill his mind, the instinct of the hunter began to flood through him. "Gonad the Yaksplitter, I am Shin Zhou. I have no titles anymore, I cast away the title of the Fiend of Battle. I am blood and flesh and bone, like you." Through his sideways motions he gradually shifted his body into a lower stance, bent slightly at the knees with his left foot leading.

The subtle shift would surely be picked up by all in the room, including Gonad. His arms tensed and his hands raised, elbows back to shoulder height and fingers pointing outwards like claws. The level of his hand and lower ribcage were even, and his fingertips parallel to his nipples. Pulling his head back to tuck his chin into his collarbone and raising his shoulders to his ears. He touched his tongue to his teeth and lined his jaw up with itself to make one solid bulwark of teeth in his mouth. Finally he narrowed his eye to a razor thin slit, the almost luminescent green eye peered through the eyelash-less eyelids and measured Gonad up and down from crown to toetip.

He would analyze every single second of his posturing and stancing, because every moment of it would matter. Shin was ready to die, and to make Gonad die.
@Doc Doctor
At the arrival of the unexpected guest, some Gods and Goddesses got the vague and worrying impression of the Monkey King's return, some worried of mortal thieves to steal the Peaches of Immortality. The baffled husband of the now unclad Goddess fumed, for he was the Little Dipper, the God of Examinations. Kui Xing, a bald and beardless hunchbacked thing, the ugly duckling of the gods, had now been slighted by a mere mortal who dared to enter the Palace of the Jade Emperor.

As with every deity, he would never fight for himself and instead called upon his allied champions to step forth. Godlings and Immortal warriors stepped forth, armed with a myriad of godly weaponry and raised their blades to the alarmingly aloof Gonad. As this unfolded he was completely unaware of their existence, seeking first to sate his thirst by downing the Elixir of Life without a moment to appreciate its aroma or value. Then as they pressed forward to attack him they were stopped by the iron curtain of bewilderment that blasted upon them like so many flecks of shit.

The cheeks of Gonad parted to unleash a reprehensible wind that stilled the calm breeze of the mountain palace, a sinful horn blasted and quieted the musics of the cosmos, an abhorrent smell saturated the air and drowned the sweet aroma of the feast, and the sky dimmed to the grey of dusk at the revealing of the mighty turd upon the table.

All once wonderful and beautiful was now irreparably tainted by the abominable arrival of this absurd barbarian to the feast of Gods and Immortals. The fury of all powerful God-things was now directed like so many daggers into the direction of the oafish interloper, War Gods and Immortal Warriors withdrew all powerful weaponry and were to set upon him like a million thunderbolts from all sides.

But then.

The Jade Emperor's laugh could be heard.

Oh what a mighty laugh it was, it shook the skies and rumbled forth a storm of ages that poured upon them in almond sized droplets. Blasting the table of feast and filth alike, it washed back the charging Warriors as if they had no force behind their movement. It cleared the stage and brushed everyone away from this foreign lunatic. Still he laughed and pressed his palm to his face to conceal the amber gold tears that flowed and mixed with the rain that splashed his bebearded face.

A few minutes of raucous laughter followed before he could calm himself to speak and that which he said stunned the audience, "Since the death of Carlin I have not had a laugh so sincere!" He pointed his wrinkled and gnarled finger towards Gonad. "Your aloof and unintentional humor amuses me, Man of Earth! But you have interrupted a very important feast with your shenanigans, and my entourage won't allow this to pass unpunished you see."

The look on his face was very sincerely that of one who wished not to do something to someone he so liked, but knew that it must be done for his sake and the sake of all of those who watched this scene unfold. Their wanting gazes cast upon the Jade Emperor and Gonad, separated by only two spans, demanding restitution for the crime committed against the Emperor and themselves. Sorrowfully he ran his fingers down his extensive wispy beard, letting each individual strand fall like water to his chest once more. After a moment of quiet contemplation, within which many noticed that not a drop of water was clinging to the Emperor and was falling down him like liquid across a hydrophobic surface, the Emperor released his beard and clapped his hands together.

A small bell appeared between his hands as he opened them up once more, and it was tied by a thin red string. It did not ring up till the moment the Emperor willfully raised it over his head and gave it a single shake from over his head down to his lap.

The ring echoed unnaturally loud across the courtyard, shaking the settled water on the ground and table and flinging droplets back upwards several meters, and the ensuing new droplets splashed into the center of the venue. As they splashed down into the circular courtyard they flattened out into a perfectly flat disk that rested between Gonad and the Emperor before the reflection of Gonad appeared and shifted into another man's face and form.

Gonad's missing left eye was mirrored to the missing right eye of the man below, hazel shifted to green and the white of his eyes filled with a bloody red. His long and wild hair pulled back to a messy hairline, butchered by a colossal scar. The scars of his own face morphed into a gigantic one that crossed from chin to hairline, shaped like the hand of a giant. Dark grey turned blue black as the hair darkened on his head, the beard receded to a thin mustache and strip of hair on the chin. His colossal muscular body tightened and twisted, as if the muscles were compressing into a more compact and angular form than his gigantic blocky figure. Vascular arms and legs began to conceal their veins beneath a weather beaten and leathery hide more akin to that of a rhinoceros than a man. Then suddenly the untamed animal expression of Gonad upon this distinctly non-Gonad face shifted to that of a time worn warrior. The vicious brutality of a Human, mixed with the sorrow of many wasted years of senseless self indulgence.

A pair of hands burst from the water's surface, beginning as the long dirty fingernails and sausage thick fingers of Gonad before shifting into the stony and blackened hands of one who has beaten their fists into the fire for hundreds of years. The fingernails cracked and fell to dust to reveal unnaturally angled fingers, the ultimate conclusion of tiger style martial arts made manifest. The exceedingly overdeveloped body rose from the water with ease, using only the minimal amount of effort to rise to his feet.

The legs and clothing shifted to match the rest of the body, the dirty taloned feet morphed into hardened bricks with toes that looked more like the hands above. Each toe like a hammer's head with no visible nail to be spoken of. A garb of comfortably sitting silk exchanged in place of the yak fur, and finally the figure was fully formed into a smaller man. Weighing less than half that of Gonad, measuring in almost two entire feet shorter with significantly different scars across the body.

The Gods, Immortals and Goddesses applauded the appearance of this man. A wonderful show had just occurred, showing the truly creative skill of the Jade Emperor. After the applause settled down, the figure became aware of itself and the singular eye darted around to analyze its surroundings. Like a tiger that had suddenly been teleported, his fingers tensed and opened into claw-like formation, and the figure standing only one span away from him was the object of his ire most immediately.

The voice of the Jade Emperor piped again. "A perfect match for you, humorous friend. A humorless fiend, summoned from far beyond your time and space. A perfect punishment for one such as you. Please, introduce yourselves to the man who will kill you!" He was not speaking just to Gonad with the second statement, and Shin immediately recognized the subtly implied threat.

He'd been summoned to kill this man, unfortunately, by some higher powered beings. From the look of his surroundings, he knew he was in the company of the pantheon of his homeland. Shin bowed his head slightly to both Gonad and the Jade Emperor, lowering his hands to his side and opening his fingers back to a resting position. "I am Shin Zhou, born of China to the late Ming Dynasty. It is a pleasure to fight in the company of my people's Gods, and a pleasure to meet you despite your unfortunate circumstance."

Though a thinly veiled threat, his introduction was sincere.

Within the timeless mountain palace of the Jade Emperor the regular feast of Peaches of Immortality had begun yet again. Servants of the Gods and Immortals carried platters and baskets filled with peaches prepared into various delicacies incomparable to the quality of man made dishes. Purity in its finest state, grown by a pool of magical water on an enchanted tree, tended to by a Goddess of Fertility. No dish made with any ingredient could compare to the Peaches themselves.

A feast fit for Gods and Immortals.

The servants and warriors of the pantheon circled in unison, marching and dancing side by side in a gigantic helix that crossed the chamber then expanded around the table in fluctuating patterns. A demonstration of their devotion and dedication to their betters, an artistic expression of passion and power. A glorious ceremony played out to the music of the cosmos, the drum beat of all existence and the orchestra of the planets, the very wind sang songs of glory and splendor.

Every aspect was perfect, the sun was aloft at both sides of the horizon, simultaneously setting and rising. It painted the sky the myriad colors of day and night, casting rainbows and moonbows in tandem across the sky. Clouds parted and painted figures of legendary heroes and champions, demons and Gods, locations and objects of renown. Every cloud painted by the colors cast on it by the sun to match the story they told with their depictions. The temperature was kept at a perfectly calm and comfortable level. Simultaneously warm and breezy, cool and cozy.

A dreamscape palace almost painted atop the infinite peaks of the God's heavenly home. A citadel carved from alabaster and jade, inlaid with lines of gold and silver, speckled with the finest jewels imaginable. Jewels that man would covet more than diamond glistering with starlight and sunfire alighted the table from above, shaded by floating banners made of still flowing water that trickled into a thin mist that drifted upwards rather than falling down.

In the courtyard of the Jade Emperor's Palace sat the Gods and Immortals, in a circular pattern of alternating helices the tables were lined with indescribably beautiful women and impossibly handsome men. Each one a picture of perfection in musculature and artistry, with hanging clothing that both complimented and accentuated their inhumanly perfect figures. At the apex of the circle of helices terminated a large spire of alabaster and jade that rose to a golden throne, atop which sat the Jade Emperor himself. An ancient and joyful man of abnormally large proportion, blessed with a long wispy white beard that flowed gently with the breeze that he himself manifested.

Overlooking this feast he smiled mirthfully upon the Gods, Immortals and Goddesses while enjoying a single peach with its pit removed that rested upon a hovering plate of mother of pearl and quartz. Floating opposite him was a small boy of spectacularly adorable features, holding a bottomless pitcher of gold and silver filled to bursting with a glimmering amber beverage that was the legendary Elixir of Life. Each Immortal and God had a glass filled to the brim with such a wondrous liquid of life giving quality, and the feast was filled with unmatched joy and celebration.

But, as we all know, perfection is unattainable. The Jade Emperor's growing suspicion was soon to be confirmed in the most ghastly way, for he had noticed the perfection of this day, and knew it could not be true.
@apathy
Had he still owned a pair of eyes, they would have widened and bowed with the raising of his cheeks into a toothy smile, an almost Budai-like expression filled his mirthy face with tangible joy as she devastated the temple and mountainside. She was pure power and aggression, calculating and violent all the same. Where he gained his power from his speed, precision and leverage, she was simply astoundingly powerful throughout her entire body. Every action expelled mountains of energy in all directions, destroying everything that she touched with indiscriminate application of force.

It was beautiful and hilarious all the same, and he could not help but throw his head back and laugh. His gut busting with painful wringing stitches as he clutched his right side and forehead with both hands.

As she fell away from him and towards the subterrene pool his laughter echoed across the mountaintops and through the valleys and deep into the caves. The raspy voice of ancient vocal chords bellowed a shrieking call to all that could or would hear. "Wonderful girl! Fantastic and amazing! Every part of you is joy to me!" He'd dropped her native tongue and fell back into his passive speaking language, the language of his Englishman father.

The gateway began to shift for the first time in generations, surely both of their catastrophic impacts had unseated it. Laughing still, he raised the still not lowered right leg all the way above his head. The split of his legs was a straight line from foot to foot, a nigh on impossible position for one to put oneself, yet he so casually did so.

He widened his mouth and drew back both of his arms so his hands, and the metal rod in his right, pressed flat against his chest. A scream let loose from his dry lips and the leg dropped at bullet speed towards the forwardmost pillar of the archway he stood on. A rippling crack spread across its surface and a scarce moment later the sound of the impact and his leg moving filled the air. It had moved so fast that the sound had to catch up with the blow, and for good reason.

The pillar cracked free from its position on the mountain and fell away from its brother, an isolation that it had never once experienced before. Shin stepped forward onto the falling pillar as it angled away from him, and he dug the toes he still had into the face of it to hold himself in place. As the pillar fell down the mountainside the angle of it would fall straight towards the rockface where the woman had fallen into a subterrene pool.

He took very quick steps backwards up the broken arch and positioned himself on the trailing end of it with his left hand gripping the backside. Right as the pillar would collide with the cliff the cracks of the blow she had delivered above would finally spread this low. As the pillar struck the wall it would explode through above her, aiming straight at her as she was still there in the pool. Rubble and debris would catapult ahead of it, and Shin would leap off and plant himself on the open hole he had just blown.
@apathy
In the spreading conflagration, the dried and jostled remains of the sokushinbushi began to alight. The remaining gasses inside them going out with a puff of flame and jumping to fabric and wood alike. Shin loved to watch fire, it was a true equalizer. It had no enemies, it did not care if it lived or died, and it consumed anything that it pleased until its inevitable passing.

He strived once to be like fire, but now he was mere kindling.

Shin stuck his bleeding foot into the flame as it approached, cauterizing the wound with a sound like sizzling bacon. Bleeding out wasn't doing him any favors, though losing some toes wasn't either.

The supporting wall to his left collapsed under the strain, rubble fell down into the myriad valleys below. The ceiling above began to crumble as well, leaving him with none too many choices. "Girl. Follow or die." And just like that he leaped out from the building through a gout of flames. A trail of burning tongues lashed out in a trail behind him.

One of the nearest gates was Shin's landing point, the force of his collision cracking the stone. All of the force focused into a single spot because he landed on one foot. He spun in place to look back at where the woman stood. Still very clearly seeing her, as no physical barrier can mar sight beyond sight. Her rapacious nature had begun amusing him greatly.
@ThiefOnAGoose
Well the judges are basically any arena regular. Obviously the Arena is kind of a barren wasteland, but I have plans to maybe fix that in the coming months.

@KOgaming
Judging is usually based upon the opinion of the judge, and whatever Arena system you're using. Here, the most common is T1, and fights are judged according to the parameters set by that.
@ThiefOnAGoose
Win 1 you get 1 point added to your wins.
Lose 1 you get 1 point added to your losses.
@Mogget

@Mogget
I'll fight you. Post a character, post a location, and I'll match you. I've got the spark right now and I want to make use of it. Obviously not here, in a thread of its own.


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