At the arrival of the unexpected guest, some Gods and Goddesses got the vague and worrying impression of the Monkey King's return, some worried of mortal thieves to steal the Peaches of Immortality. The baffled husband of the now unclad Goddess fumed, for he was the Little Dipper, the God of Examinations. Kui Xing, a bald and beardless hunchbacked thing, the ugly duckling of the gods, had now been slighted by a mere mortal who dared to enter the Palace of the Jade Emperor.
As with every deity, he would never fight for himself and instead called upon his allied champions to step forth. Godlings and Immortal warriors stepped forth, armed with a myriad of godly weaponry and raised their blades to the alarmingly aloof Gonad. As this unfolded he was completely unaware of their existence, seeking first to sate his thirst by downing the Elixir of Life without a moment to appreciate its aroma or value. Then as they pressed forward to attack him they were stopped by the iron curtain of bewilderment that blasted upon them like so many flecks of shit.
The cheeks of Gonad parted to unleash a reprehensible wind that stilled the calm breeze of the mountain palace, a sinful horn blasted and quieted the musics of the cosmos, an abhorrent smell saturated the air and drowned the sweet aroma of the feast, and the sky dimmed to the grey of dusk at the revealing of the mighty turd upon the table.
All once wonderful and beautiful was now irreparably tainted by the abominable arrival of this absurd barbarian to the feast of Gods and Immortals. The fury of all powerful God-things was now directed like so many daggers into the direction of the oafish interloper, War Gods and Immortal Warriors withdrew all powerful weaponry and were to set upon him like a million thunderbolts from all sides.
The Jade Emperor's laugh could be heard.
Oh what a mighty laugh it was, it shook the skies and rumbled forth a storm of ages that poured upon them in almond sized droplets. Blasting the table of feast and filth alike, it washed back the charging Warriors as if they had no force behind their movement. It cleared the stage and brushed everyone away from this foreign lunatic. Still he laughed and pressed his palm to his face to conceal the amber gold tears that flowed and mixed with the rain that splashed his bebearded face.
A few minutes of raucous laughter followed before he could calm himself to speak and that which he said stunned the audience, "Since the death of Carlin I have not had a laugh so sincere!" He pointed his wrinkled and gnarled finger towards Gonad. "Your aloof and unintentional humor amuses me, Man of Earth! But you have interrupted a very important feast with your shenanigans, and my entourage won't allow this to pass unpunished you see."
The look on his face was very sincerely that of one who wished not to do something to someone he so liked, but knew that it must be done for his sake and the sake of all of those who watched this scene unfold. Their wanting gazes cast upon the Jade Emperor and Gonad, separated by only two spans, demanding restitution for the crime committed against the Emperor and themselves. Sorrowfully he ran his fingers down his extensive wispy beard, letting each individual strand fall like water to his chest once more. After a moment of quiet contemplation, within which many noticed that not a drop of water was clinging to the Emperor and was falling down him like liquid across a hydrophobic surface, the Emperor released his beard and clapped his hands together.
A small bell appeared between his hands as he opened them up once more, and it was tied by a thin red string. It did not ring up till the moment the Emperor willfully raised it over his head and gave it a single shake from over his head down to his lap.
The ring echoed unnaturally loud across the courtyard, shaking the settled water on the ground and table and flinging droplets back upwards several meters, and the ensuing new droplets splashed into the center of the venue. As they splashed down into the circular courtyard they flattened out into a perfectly flat disk that rested between Gonad and the Emperor before the reflection of Gonad appeared and shifted into another man's face and form.
Gonad's missing left eye was mirrored to the missing right eye of the man below, hazel shifted to green and the white of his eyes filled with a bloody red. His long and wild hair pulled back to a messy hairline, butchered by a colossal scar. The scars of his own face morphed into a gigantic one that crossed from chin to hairline, shaped like the hand of a giant. Dark grey turned blue black as the hair darkened on his head, the beard receded to a thin mustache and strip of hair on the chin. His colossal muscular body tightened and twisted, as if the muscles were compressing into a more compact and angular form than his gigantic blocky figure. Vascular arms and legs began to conceal their veins beneath a weather beaten and leathery hide more akin to that of a rhinoceros than a man. Then suddenly the untamed animal expression of Gonad upon this distinctly non-Gonad face shifted to that of a time worn warrior. The vicious brutality of a Human, mixed with the sorrow of many wasted years of senseless self indulgence.
A pair of hands burst from the water's surface, beginning as the long dirty fingernails and sausage thick fingers of Gonad before shifting into the stony and blackened hands of one who has beaten their fists into the fire for hundreds of years. The fingernails cracked and fell to dust to reveal unnaturally angled fingers, the ultimate conclusion of tiger style martial arts made manifest. The exceedingly overdeveloped body rose from the water with ease, using only the minimal amount of effort to rise to his feet.
The legs and clothing shifted to match the rest of the body, the dirty taloned feet morphed into hardened bricks with toes that looked more like the hands above. Each toe like a hammer's head with no visible nail to be spoken of. A garb of comfortably sitting silk exchanged in place of the yak fur, and finally the figure was fully formed into a smaller man. Weighing less than half that of Gonad, measuring in almost two entire feet shorter with significantly different scars across the body.
The Gods, Immortals and Goddesses applauded the appearance of this man. A wonderful show had just occurred, showing the truly creative skill of the Jade Emperor. After the applause settled down, the figure became aware of itself and the singular eye darted around to analyze its surroundings. Like a tiger that had suddenly been teleported, his fingers tensed and opened into claw-like formation, and the figure standing only one span away from him was the object of his ire most immediately.
The voice of the Jade Emperor piped again. "A perfect match for you, humorous friend. A humorless fiend, summoned from far beyond your time and space. A perfect punishment for one such as you. Please, introduce yourselves to the man who will kill you!" He was not speaking just to Gonad with the second statement, and Shin immediately recognized the subtly implied threat.
He'd been summoned to kill this man, unfortunately, by some higher powered beings. From the look of his surroundings, he knew he was in the company of the pantheon of his homeland. Shin bowed his head slightly to both Gonad and the Jade Emperor, lowering his hands to his side and opening his fingers back to a resting position. "I am Shin Zhou, born of China to the late Ming Dynasty. It is a pleasure to fight in the company of my people's Gods, and a pleasure to meet you despite your unfortunate circumstance."
Though a thinly veiled threat, his introduction was sincere.