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3 yrs ago
[at my second rodeo] This ain't my first rodeo.
7 likes
3 yrs ago
once you learn you can call your dad by his first name he loses all power and you can freely kill him
7 likes
4 yrs ago
they should change the name of the 'most recent visitors' thing on ur profile to 'perverts'
6 likes
7 yrs ago
If your grave doesn't say "Rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton wars
8 likes

Bio

BORN TO DIE / WORLD IS A FUCK / 鬼神 Kill Em All 1989 / I am dragMan / 410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS

NOTHING FROM NOWHERE I'M NO ONE AT ALL

what is yourre favorite tea? i like all kinds

Most Recent Posts

Getting to Rank 10 of Hanged Man gives u abilities to hide ur alcohol dependency from the rest of the family at the holiday function
in another edition of drag has more time than sense, i spent the day makin Magnanimous Tarot Cards. idk why. I don't claim to be an expert or even particularly spiritual and basically all of this was from my own interpretation but if ur interested and want me to elaborate on it let me know lmao

imgur.com/a/YOgyCIe




The combined efforts of Raymond and Justin finally managed to tear through the vines blocking their path. Justin moved immediately, with Shane preparing to do the same before a familiar, grating, voice shouted behind him.

"What the hell," were the first words Junior spoke to his immediate family, appearing at their side as they watched their 'help' run off ahead of them. "what are you gonna do now? C'mon aren't you gonna follow him!?"


Junior's sudden reappearance caused Shane to turn around briefly, he looked back to see Raymond speed off not far behind Justin and let out an annoyed grunt. Ezra, Tuyen and probably others were planning to go through the secret entrance and defend dad's artefacts from the intruders. Shane on the other hand was hoping to catch up to those dickheads and ensure they didn't even reach that far. Or, he was before his momentum was halted before it could begin.

"Go and hide dammit!" He snarled at Junior before breaking off into a sprint down the hall. Part of him felt a little bad at leaving the kid behind, even if it was Junior. But the cultists didn't seem to have any interest in the Vanburens personally and it seemed all of them were further in the manor, the entrance-way was probably the safest place for Junior right now.

Shane didn't have Justin's head-start or Raymond's... Odd floor gliding ability. But he did have a good few years of track experience, even if he found himself huffing for breath more than he normally would, the flask in his shirt pocket hugging his chest and reminding him of why. Even still, it wasn't very long before he caught up with Justin and Raymond, still fighting those fucking dogs. Shane looked beyond them and narrowed his eyes as he saw the cultist lady, Morgana, make two of her little cultist pals climb aboard one of the dogs before holding something up to its nose and instructing it to run.

He growled to himself as he continued his charge. Morgana and another cultist lady, with some head of hair, stood at the end of the hallway. So Shane sped up, he'd just got here and the remaining dogs were preoccupied with Justin and Ray and making plenty of noise while Morgana and the other girl had only just told their last hound to move. He damn well wasn't waiting anymore, if these two wanted to try and slow them down, Shane was going to run right fucking through 'em. He cleared the hallway and coated himself in his blue aura, as far as he'd seen, Morgana could dish out chains but that was something he was sure he could deflect and absorb, he wasn't as sure about the other cultist.

So, cutting out the middleman, Shane found himself a step away from the unknown Maxine, both girls were turning back to face Justin and Raymond presumably so Shane hoped to take them by surprise and take Maxine out of the equation. Rearing his fist back in his sprint to deliver a vicious running hook across the jaw of Maxine.




"Hmph," Morgana turned her head towards Shane as she flipped him off, "We're just here to recover some stolen property! So do us a favor and fuck off!" Morgana whistled to get the Dog's attention as she pointed in a direction and shouted,


Shane almost laughed. He was hardly verbose but the way these attackers spoke and behaved it would be easy to see them more as petulant teenagers rather than dangerous cultists. Which, come to think of it, was most likely the case.

He watched as the Hellhound, the one thats brains he'd scrambled, limped away when its master recalled the dogs back. If it weren't a giant slobbering beast that seconds ago had tried to eat him, Shane might have found himself feeling a bit sorry about putting a dent in its skull. As it stood though, this day was testing him as it was, and he was fresh out of sympathy. The short yappy one with the red hair yelled another command and off the only untouched Hellhound went, dragging along the kid across the broken up flooring.

"... MORGANA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"


'Well... Learned something at least.' Shane thought, memorising the yappy one- Morgana's name. He looked on in quiet frustration as the kid got dragged into the darkness of the hallway and Morgana saw fit to erect a giant wall of fire before leaving. Shane walked up to it with his brow furrowed, he let the blue light of Guardian Angel engulf him before cautiously putting forth his left hand to the wall. Immediately recoiling back in pain and shaking his hand off.

'Doesn't work on fire. Learned something else.' He thought, grimacing as his hand already began to turn a light shade of pink on his pale skin. Between this and being thrown into a wall, he was taking quite a beating for an implacable man. He watched that "expert" kid jump right through the flames unharmed and narrowed his eyes.

Things happened around Shane for a moment as he stood, seething silently to himself at letting those shitheads get away again. Yet another sibling entered the fray, Aileen, Ezra pointedly explained to Raymond that tearing up the house was not particularly in anyone's best interests. Raymond, for his part, didn't seem terribly bothered as he put his stones back and darted through the flames to give chase. Alexander and Ezra discussed if what Morgana said was true, Ezra didn't seem to place much stock in it but Shane wasn't so sure. He damn sure wasn't going to let them run roughshod on the Estate any longer but it wasn't too difficult for Shane to see his father gallivanting... Well, everywhere magic seems to permit, in pursuit of "knowledge" or some such justification. Shane hadn't poured through them like Oscar but Father's journals were awfully detailed if he only got to look at half the things he wrote about.

Speaking of Oscar, he'd finally caught up with the rest of his family and put the flames out, turning Shane's clothing from dripping wet to slightly damp in the process. Shane took off his suit jacket and dropped it on the floor for freer movement, not like it costed much anyway. Tuyen and Ezra spoke to one another, making plans to head to the Gallery. Good enough place to lockdown, but they failed to also take into account that Morgana and her followers were kind of idiots. Since they seemed to be winging it by this point, god only knows where the hell they all were in the Manor, might as well hunt him off while they tried to find their way.

Preparing to, ostensibly go Rambo on some punk kids, Shane wordlessly exited the dining room to see Justin fighting off the dogs and two girls. He charged forward to put the fleabags down for good but they'd already sprinted off to follow their master, one of the girls was kind enough to leave behind another obstacle though. While they sure hadn't planned any of this they damn well knew how to be annoying little pissants.

Shane watched as Justin threw his flames at the vine, burning them through and creating an opening. Even still he could hear the group cackling as they fled deeper into the Manor much to Shane's continued chagrin. He looked on expressionlessly as Justin continued to throw his flames against the wall, taking note of what they were capable of and how much he was going to enjoy making them wish they had dental insurance. But, not much his abstraction could do to get through a bunch of weeds... As far as Shane was aware currently anyway.

"Happen to see which direction they ran in?" Shane asked Justin, still staring ahead through the growing hole Justin was carving. Normally he wouldn't even bother asking at all, preferring to quietly find out for himself. But, the preceding events had eroded through Shane's patience and his typically withdrawn manner. He was still as pissed as ever though.




Shane had to brace as his body collided against the wall from the Hellhound's sudden arrival. Its proximity to Shane and the surprise of it crashing through the wall didn't give Shane enough time to activate his abstraction, throwing him back violently with the dust and debris. As he sat, coughing, he felt mild surprise at not having broken his neck.

"Getting real fucking tired of these guys." He muttered as he struggled back to his feet. The dust obscured most of the room but he did finally get a good look at the Hellhound, being all that its name would imply. He also got a good look at the... Thing, Tuyen was using to battle the Hound as well as Raymond ruining the dining room further by manipulating the earth itself to send at the kid and the dog.

'Whoever was left the Estate in the will is gonna be pissed. Shane dryly noted to himself, picking up his somehow even less impressive chair leg. Whilst none of Shane's bones were broken, hopefully, the chair leg certainly was. Split at the middle which was mitigated only by the semi-usable splinter filled point on one half.

Shane limped slightly forward, he couldn't make out some of his siblings but he could hear their voices. Georgie asking if everyone was alright, as though she gave a shit. Sabrina yelling desperately for Junior. Fuck, Junior. Kid may have had an abstraction and Shane may about as pleasant as a root canal but he still didn't want something to happen to the boy. He barely made out Georgie joining in the search for the youngest Vanburen, which set Shane's mind slightly more at ease.

Regardless he was not in the best shape to go looking for any of his siblings. Besides, the punks that did this had been only so kind as to play their hand first. Picking up some speed, Shane moved through the dust, making out the hulking figure of yet another Hellhound stood next to two more human shaped figures, standing in the hole created by the first beast. While the Hellhound that bored the hole in the wall was preoccupied with Tuyen and Raymond, Shane instead turned his attention to the shadows slowly walking into the room in the commotion.

Throwing caution to the wind and in not too great a state to charge over there, Shane gripped the broken chair leg and tossed it point first at the head, or his best guess, at the shadowed figure of the second Hellhound. Immediately he got acknowledgement that his target had been met as the beast roared in annoyance rather than pain, and charged towards Shane with its teeth bared. Shane, only by mere seconds, activated his abstraction right as the beast's head slammed into him and it attempted to clamp its jaws down on his body, only to realise that Shane stood defiantly on the floor and that its teeth could not pierce the blue sheen around him and pierce into his flesh.

The Hellhound looked up to see Shane's free hand raise above his head and come crashing down in a fist onto the Hellhound. The initial blow was barely felt at all by the beast, but the immediately following kinetic blast of its own force crashing down instantaneously onto the Hellhound's skull was felt very vividly. The Hellhound, barely off the ground as it was, slammed down onto the previously proud and polished hardwood flooring with a reverberating thud and a yelp. The Hellhound lay dazed, its jaw still hanging open from both the force and its attempted feasting on the Vanburen.

Shane shook his hand in slight pain, Guardian Angel or no he still slammed it against the skull of a big lumbering beast, and looked up at the shadows that could only be the Cultists.

"What do you little pricks even want?!" He yelled, surrounded by the flames and the ruins of the dining hall, they were nothing if not persistent Shane had to concede to them.




Guardian Angel activated once more as the chair smashed harmlessly against his blue aura. Well, harmless for Shane, not so much for the chair which shattered pretty much on impact. He frowned as his aura dissipated and the girl leapt through the portal unscathed, though her friend didn't join thanks to Alexander's chains. He glanced at Alexander who mumbled something, no doubt a threat, to the boy. Though he knew next to nothing about his apparent Russian sibling, that he was able to threaten some kid fairly easily was probably not the best of signs. Shane instead knelt down at the wreckage of the once proud Vanburen chair and picked up the leg that was most intact.

He dropped the leg against his open palm a few times as Trisha and Oscar spoke amongst themselves over the captured impostor.

'Heavy enough...'

A blood curdling roar rocked throughout the estate at that moment, making Shane momentarily pause.

'...Probably gonna shatter on impact against whatever the hell that was.' Shane thought to himself, shutting his eyes for a second in frustration. Perhaps if fortune favoured him he could stick them with the jagged end.

He opened his eyes once more as Georgie reappeared from her pocket world or some such fantastical power Shane only really bothered to remember the basics of. She said the intruders were already in the main hall with some dog like beasts and suggested regrouping in her pocket world. An idea that didn't make any sense to Shane, they weren't entirely sure who their attackers were now and considering the impostor boy didn't look particularly worried about his predicament, it was unlikely they'd learn anything about their intruders from him in Georgie's garden. Besides, they knew where the intruders were right now, better to confront them immediately rather than let them run amok unseen in the house.

The girl, Tuyen, the real one. Seemed poised to go out there and fight them head on. Shane did not bear much confidence in either expert, especially after the encounter with their doppelgangers but at least she was willing to take action. Ezra apparently agreed with this sentiment as he let her pass without reservation and prepared to follow alongside her.

"Let's get to it then." Shane stated plainly, inviting himself along and walking alongside Tuyen and Ezra.

He was going out there regardless, most of his family had a tendency to overestimate themselves but he was the only Vanburen with any real combat experience. While he wasn't carrying a firearm anymore and sure as hell never came across any shapeshifters or magic dogs in his time, he damn sure was not going to sit and hide while a bunch of amateurs tore apart his house.

Besides, he hadn't gotten much chances to test it, it was time to see just how much the Guardian Angel could withstand.




Where before there was a heavy silence that had Shane on edge, now he felt himself longing for it. The surrounding faces of his siblings, Oscar and Sabrina's naive but hopeful optimism meeting Georgie's insufferably smug but probably not unfounded skepticism. Trisha and her usual annoyance clashing against Junior and his peculiar talent for being an irritating presence.

'Least Ezra stepped out.' Shane thought to himself, counting the absence of his eldest brother's constant nonchalant and indifferent gaze as a blessing considering Shane's slowly eroding patience.

Truthfully, Shane had not even been fully aware of the Vanburen's "curse" until he received the letter from Sabrina. He already lived in Araminta after all and wasn't exactly one for travelling anymore. Were he not confused yet fascinated by the strange power that he and his siblings had obtained, there's a good chance he wouldn't have shown up at all. Aside, of course, out of love for his "wonderful" family who currently argued among themselves.

In spite of his interest, he struggled to really comprehend much of what the boy Oscar brought was telling him. As far as he could glean before they were interrupted, there was many different types of magic. Not information that sounded particularly integral for fixing their current situation but it's more than he knew a few minutes ago at least. Shane tried to internally memorise the names of these different magic... Schools, or whatever. When his train of thought was halted by another pair of the same two teenagers entering the house.

'...Wonderful.' Shane thought to himself. The two teenagers who arrived seemed unfazed by encountering, well, themselves. With the both of them going as far as to mock the impostors' choice of clothing. Rather than attempt to dispute this, the two impostors conceded their disguise and transformed before Shane's eyes into two completely different looking people. So, shape-shifting was another thing magic users were capable of doing, another thing to jot down in the memory for later.

The male impostor sent forth a wave of water at the Vanburens, Shane felt himself become enveloped with the blue aura of the Guardian Angel a second after the water hit the table. He was pushed back slightly but managed to hold his ground and be the rock in the water standing against the current. Albeit one with an incredibly wet suit that basically meant Shane was out of formal wear after this.

The water dispersed and Shane took quick stock of his siblings, wet as he was and mostly thrown against the walls but seeming not much worse for wear. He narrowed his eyes back at the two impostors, the female tearing a purple hole from thin air. Ezra returned from his call and clutching a kitchen knife that he'd expanded to the length of a sword, while the Russian, Alexander, had green chains wrap around his wrists.

Arabelle entered from Shane's right, yelling to the real (?) Justin and Tuyen that more of these pricks were apparently coming through the bathroom. Shane would object with entrusting so much to teenagers they had just met, let alone ones that had just been imitated and could be more imitators themselves for all they knew but he found himself too focused on the imitators that had shown their true forms. He flicked his wet hair back and out of his eyes as he frowned at the two of them trying to leave through the portal.

"Get out of my house." Ezra said with his standard intimidating stare.

"Fuck that." Shane snarled as he quickly grabbed the, now fairly damp, chair he'd been sat on and threw it with all the considerable force at his disposal towards the head of the boy who had previously pretended to be Justin.




He wasn't really sure what to expect when he'd first been contacted by Sabrina and Oscar. The funeral was easy, despite the situation. Everyone was wrapped up in their individual thoughts or grief, as was he, that he was able to exist and function without any real difficulty. But now that was not the case and a lot had happened between now and the funeral. Most of his family had the time to perhaps start coming to terms with father's death, this "curse" had started turning all of them to stone unless they remained in Araminta, Shane had awakened... Through circumstances that he wouldn't fully disclose to anyone, his family least of all.

He stood in the entrance hall for a few moments. Trying to discern exactly what his feelings were being back on the estate after promising himself that he wouldn't come back. Anger, calm, sorrow, happiness, peace, anxiety. Every conflicting feeling looped back in on itself and Shane found himself standing in his home feeling nothing at all. Save for noticing that the wood on the floor was beginning to show its signs of age.

Still, he lingered before entering the dining room. If nothing else it gave him a brief respite before having to share a room with his siblings. When Shane did finally enter he saw Ezra tending the flames of the fireplace, Oscar sorting through his notes but looking up to give Shane a brief smile and the majority of his sisters already sat at the dining table. He walked up and pulled out the chair that sat in the centre on the right side of the table. It's not one he particularly liked considering it placed him smack dab in the cross-hairs of just about everyone in the room, but it was the seat he always sat in growing up and the last thing he really wished to do was upset the harmony of the awkward silence hanging in the air.

Shane sat fairly stiff compared to his siblings. Folding his arms and maintaining his ever present neutral frown, with his eyes slanted downwards towards the table. He did look up briefly when Sabrina entered with LeBeau, to which the glorified housecat responded by baring its fangs at him, proving itself to be a Vanburen if nothing else.

Oscar began his presentation shortly thereafter. He'd found some supernatural experts to help deal with the Vanburen's "curse", causing Shane to inwardly cringe. He loved his brother and was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt considering he seemed to have a handle on this better than Shane did, but he also had a habit of getting too enamoured by things. Sure, Shane had the ability to probably withstand being hit by a car now, but the term 'supernatural experts' did not fill him with a great degree of confidence.

Shane felt his sentiments echoed when Oscar announced his "experts" were already here and the typically unflappable Ezra gave a "Hold up. what?". It was a subtle tell but Shane didn't need investigative training to tell his eldest brother had his own doubts about Oscar's people, he damn sure didn't mishear him considering Ezra's typical meticulousness and the lack of any other noteworthy sound in the room.

And in walked Oscar's experts. Two kids who looked about the same age as Georgie. One of whom immediately having to remove herself from the proceedings to use the bathroom. Shane was thankful Ezra took centre stage when Justin asked the Vanburens to tell him what they knew as Shane was still finding himself considering the slight possibility that Oscar had somehow crafted the most intricate practical joke Araminta had ever seen.

"I believe my other siblings would feel more at ease if you can show us that you are what you say you are before we continue.” Ezra stated at the boy, leading Shane to realise he'd been half focused while his brother bore a hole into the kid with that stare he'd get when trying to figure out if you were lying. God knows Shane had seen it more than once.

Briefly, Shane considered asking a question of his own, he certainly had a few he'd like to know, but found no immediate words to say. Better to let his brothers and sisters steer the conversation for now he thought as he reached for the silver flask in his coat pocket to warm up the cold from outside and in.

"Better to let them do all the talking, really." He concluded, quietly placing his flask back into his jacket.
Updated some relationships i have no mouth and i must scream


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