The Solo Disaster is an event to detail the start of Dashara Horizon's story, among other things.
Ellri Member
Lord of Eat
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Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion. Through Passion, I gain Strength. Through Strength, I gain Power. Through Power, I gain Victory. Through Victory, My Chains are Broken. The Force Shall Free Me.
5 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
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Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion. Through Passion, I gain Strength. Through Strength, I gain Power. Through Power, I gain Victory. Through Victory, My Chains are Broken. The Force Shall Free Me.
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6 yrs ago
"Never was, never will be."
6 yrs ago
We find that our favorite damage type is collateral.
6 yrs ago
We do not corrupt mortals. We teach them enlightened self-interest.
6 yrs ago
Peace is a lie. There is only passion (for cookies).
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Most Recent Posts
Sounds like fairly reasonable solutions.
Still feels odd of course to see someone sell their child, but at least there's a fairly reasonable reason.
Minor thought: Could there perhaps be a part of the sale agreement that she is ideally not to be resold, or at least to be kept out of imperial hands? Or were the imperial ties of her mother kept secret?
There's no doubt more we could've nitpicked at, but you covered the important parts we spotted fairly well. We'll see about having another GM check these two sheets to see if they too feel they are ready for approval.
Still feels odd of course to see someone sell their child, but at least there's a fairly reasonable reason.
Minor thought: Could there perhaps be a part of the sale agreement that she is ideally not to be resold, or at least to be kept out of imperial hands? Or were the imperial ties of her mother kept secret?
There's no doubt more we could've nitpicked at, but you covered the important parts we spotted fairly well. We'll see about having another GM check these two sheets to see if they too feel they are ready for approval.
@LegionPothIX
Ok. We don’t care about previous reviews, drama or anything like that.
We care about whether the character feels complete and is balanced.
Mylar LuSan
We feel the name you have chosen doesn’t fit her species. In particular the last name, where there is the strange capitalization of the third letter. While we could suggest going for a completely different name, we’re fond of simpler solutions; specifically: replace
LuSan with Lusan.Alternatively you could look at existing Mirialan names. The choice is yours.
The imagery you provided for clothing feels neither Sith nor Mirialan. It appears primarily dysfunctional. In particular, the vast amount of loose parts hanging about would prove very problematic both for combat and for experiments.
Simple logic dictates that she would most probably dress either like a mirialan, or as a Sith, given her severed ties with any other factions.
Mirialans tend to go for either robes, simple pants & jacket/tank top, or something similar. There is no evidence that they favor clothes built up of large amounts of loose, flowing garments that have massive amounts of jewelry.
Most Sith tend to have clothes based around simple tunic & pants, armor, or robes.
The core element common to both of those styles is function.
Another element of note is the fact that Mirialan tattoos are cultural and have deep-set meaning rooted in their culture. Given that she has not been part of Mirialan society, where did she get them? What is their meaning? Why would she get them, when it is not their culture?
“Narrow focus” is not sufficient to ignore the limits on training time for Force techniques.
At 23 years old, someone dedicated exclusively to studying the Force might get a talent or two to expert, but that would be at a cost to all other forms of training. Expert training takes at least ten years on average. That is ten years after reaching apprentice/knight level of skill.
A single Mastery is far outside grasp, let alone multiple masteries and expert techniques.
This is especially true given that you have multiple other skills at high levels.
Given her age, having one talent at Expert skill level is plausible, with at most two or three at intermediate skill (training or talent).
Tràkata and Telekinetic lightsaber combat are specialized studies that most Sith or Jedi do not delve into, due to their complexities.
The former is a technique that has a high risk of backfiring, meaning that those who use it are either risk-takers who hope to be sneaky, or experts who know exactly what they’re doing.
The latter is a technique that takes dedicated study, due to the effort of controlling lightsabers telekinetically at the velocities necessary for effective combat.
She might know the very basics of them, but that would take time away from Force studies.
You should also include a section describing her combat style, not just a list of skill levels.
There are several things you need to make clear in the sheet:
- What would compel parents to sell their only child to slavers, let alone the hutts? Anything resembling normal parents would do anything to keep a child of theirs out of hutt hands.
- Timeline. You need to clearly define exactly how old she was at key points in her life. If going with your current content, you need especially to define these moments:
- Time sold as a slave.
- Time of being taken by the Jedi
- Time of becoming a padawan
- Time she fled the Jedi Order
- Time of reaching imperial hands
- Time of passing apprentice trials
- When did she become Nyiss’ Apprentice?
- What would her experiences do to her?
Why did her parents flee Mirial? The planet sided with the empire early on, not requiring much in the way of bombardment.
Once a slave, why would she be taken to Ryloth, which lies well outside Hutt space?
H’Ratth is a Jedi Praxeum world with no other civilization on it. As a padawan, she would most likely be close to her master most of the time, a master who would know much about her, possibly to the point of having a telepathic bond of sorts. She would be well aware of what her padawan was reading and studying. Any hint of interest in the Dark Side and/or the Sith would be quashed quickly.
Everyone in normal galactic society know who the Sith are. Had she been born a decade before the outbreak of the Great Galactic War, she might initially have known them only as a sort of ‘boogeymen’, but given that she was born almost halfway into the war, she would know far more. However, this would not in any way give a glimpse into their way of life. Regular People in the Republic and normal members of the Jedi Order know virtually nothing about imperial way of life. Especially Jedi younglings and padawans.
Once a force-sensitive is discovered by the Empire, especially someone purported to be a Jedi Padawan, he or she would not be let go. The individual would be taken prisoner and sent on the first available ship directly to Korriban for interrogation and conversion. Either under the watchful eyes of a Sith, or in a medically induced coma to prevent any undesirable escapades. If capture proves unfeasible, the Force-sensitive would be killed to keep it out of Jedi hands. Any belongings would be seized.
Upon arriving on Korriban, the prisoner would be interrogated and put through indoctrination and training to become a Sith. No matter the level of prior training, the prisoner would spend considerable time being reeducated at the academy until the overseers felt satisfied that he or she had fully taken on the mantle of being a Sith, or died failing to do so. That process takes anything from numerous months to many years. In her case, with next to no real knowledge of the Sith and having been trained by the Jedi before, it would lean towards the higher duration, because Jedi ways would have to be unlearned as well.
Being an ex-Jedi is not a mark of honor in the eyes of many Sith. To quite a significant portion of the Sith, it is a blemish that cannot ever be fully washed away. How did she attract the eyes of Darth Nyiss? Given how busy she has been and her rather reclusive nature, such an act would have to be spectacular.
Associates and ownerships
Why does she have a duelist lightsaber when she is not proficient in the lightsaber combat form that is specialized for? Is it purely aesthetic? Or is there some deeper reason?
Why has she kept a broken lightsaber? To a Sith, replacement parts are readily available.
The slugthrower
It feels a bit illogical. It appears to be based on something akin to a WWII anti-tank rifle, but it has features not seen on such, like a telescopic scope. Given the nature of vehicular armor and the presence of shielding in Star wars, projectile-based weaponry below the level of high-explosive rockets is not reliable enough to be used against vehicles. When the fact that you described Tinker as a carabineer, a heavy anti-vehicle weapon is not logical in any case. Either adjust the description of that individual to match an anti-vehicle role and adjust the weapon type to one suitable for taking out vehicles (presumably a rocket launcher or a heavy repeating blaster), or adjust the weapon down to a more regular sniper rifle-esque weapon.
To cope with the advanced technology of the setting, all weapons are more specialized.
The ship
How did she acquire this vessel and why is its hold space largely taken up by a manufacturing droid that requires the ship to be stationary with its bay doors open? As a Sith, she will have access to imperial dockyards.
You clearly like the Ebon Hawk, but considering how rare dynamic-class starships are (only one produced at a time) and with better models available, her just happening to have one is rather implausible.
We suggest picking a different unaffiliated vessel (and providing reason for it) or a Sith-flavored ship (again, with a reason for having, though requiring less explanation).
The Family Estate
Her family fled Mirial. She has never even been there. How is it she possesses ownership of the family estate there?
Even if her family had kept control over the estate, she would not have had automatic control over it, or been likely to even know of its existence. To possess such, you need to provide a good explanation in her character history for owning it. At the moment, no such thing exists.
When you fix these sections, bold the labels on each owned item.
How is the twi’lek dominatrix an associate of hers? Given the time needed to progress from Jedi initiate to padawan and then from Sith acolyte to Apprentice and beyond, they would not have seen each other for at the very minimum ten-twelve years.
The underling
What old score would this underling have had to settle? There’s no indication of such events in her history. Why is she labeled as “rifleman”? Is she part of some sort of specialized slugthrower-based militia? The word implies wielding a weapon with rifled barrel, which again indicates a projectile weapon. We suggest choosing a different label more in line with the setting.
Why would this individual see Mylar as her owner? To have such an underling, you need to explain the reason for it and how it came to pass.
Personality, Psychological Evaluation and flaws
The subject possesses a 'bubbly' personality, carefree disposition, and lackadaisical demeanor that are all unbecoming of the Sith. Judging by appearances alone one could easily mistake her for just another exotic entertainer but should do so at their own peril.
The subject is quick witted, and crafty, though she squanders these traits with an aversion to long term planning. The subject is extremely possessive, and demonstrates a wide breadth of gluttonous appetites. She is highly attuned to her emotions, and the emotions of others, to the point where she has demonstrated a consistent (and suspicious) slowness to anger. She is by no means reserved, and is better characterized as capricious and childish. Additionally, the subject generally lacks the commitment required to be effectively deceptive for extended periods of time. However, when it suits her she is quite skilled at dissembling, and demonstrates an uncanny knack for piercing the deceptions and dissembling of others.
In the subject's initial application interview, she described many of the symptoms of Impostor Syndrome, but observations made by the academy indicate these quirks have been subverted and replaced by Emblematic Tokenism, or the reinforcement of self by proxy. Typically this behavior is seen when a subject is attempting to distance themselves from their past, by literally redefining themselves as everything contrary to what they once were. As of yet it is unclear what lengths the subject will go to maintain this facade.
- Emotionally Pliable
Subject possess an ephemeral base that is inscrutable even to herself. She quickly latches onto ideas that validate her emotional state, or worldview, and is prone to be influenced or emotionally manipulated by others who reinforce either. A few choice words in an opportune moment can instill an unexpected degree leverage with potentially long-lasting results.
- Emblematic Tokenism
Despite both the Jedi and the Sith training her not to, the subject invests much of her self into the things and people she collects. When a direct attack on the subject may prove unwise, an indirect attack on the tokens can still be launched with comparative ease, and to similar effect.
- Overspecialized
Subject possesses a clear lack of diversity in her combat toolkit, leading her to be easily countered by other combatants with more diverse toolkits. Her Lightsaber Form is especially susceptible to Makashi, Ataru, and Juyo. Similarly, her force powers distinctly lack the lethality required for a decisive victory.
These descriptions of her personality do not add up. Given the extreme amount of trauma she has been through (Born refugee, Hutt slavery, Jedi indoctrination, Imperial interrogation, Sith indoctrination) the last thing she would be is bubbly, carefree and lackadaisical.
At best she would either be jaded and desensitized with probable anger issues due to the bad hand fate has dealt her. At worst, she would be a ruined, broken wreck of a person with limited control over much of anything, readily prone to lashing out.
Either one of those would be pliable in the hands of skilled Sith. She would have been manipulated into hating the Jedi and many other things, such as her family, other aliens, the republic and more.
The lack of long-term planning would not be an unnatural result of such trauma, with her likely to wander from moment to moment to avoid thinking about the past. Most Sith would see one such as her as little more than a tool of limited value but which can provide some amusement.
Investing everything into the moment would not be wrong, but the lack of ability to plan ahead combined with the trauma in her past would have fully negated most—if not all—craftiness and quick wit potentially present in her personality.
Quick-witted remarks would more likely be in the form of spiteful statements, rooted more in what her academy overseers have implanted into her mind than anything else.
Conclusion
There is much work to be done on the character, with many elements needing expansion and an infusion of realism, logic and clear time progression, but there are some good concepts at the root of things. The section on the Force is considerably clearer than before, though still vastly overpowered. Given the number of grammar corrections Sini made, there is some work to be done on that front as well. There is no shame in accepting assistance from a teacher on that front.
It will be interesting to see what you make of this character.
@mattmanganon
We do not mind providing clarifications. Have no worry about that.
For this we refer to the spoilers section of your OoC section.
An exiled Jedi starting to recruit force-sensitives to form a second order? That concept alone was enough for the Jedi GM to say no immediately.
Throughout the sheet, you focus on the criminal ties and predilections.
In his Force techniques, you specify that the Force is his greatest strength, especially mind tricks. You also focus on his extreme interest in droids, telekinesis and trying to predict the future.
In his skills you focus on mathematics, problem-solving and diplomacy.
In the combat section you say he’s mastered a lightsaber form while stating he favors another form for telekinetic combat.
In the interests section, you specify he has no interests to speak of and that he was an archivist for twenty years.
Other than the point about crime, these points are all only mentioned in those sections, without being tied together in any manner. That is what we mean by disparate parts that do not make up a single whole.
The wide selection of companions, several of which belong to species not on the approved list, is but a minor element, but yes, his seemingly being built as both a typical hutt and as a Jedi do not exactly add up, as the Jedi Order would have made sure to quash criminal aspirations hard. Only when they were sure of his being first and foremost a Jedi would they let him link up with the hutts again. But it is more the previous section that causes him to feel like multiple characters in one.
You’re not being difficult. You’re asking questions and seeking clarification. We like that.
The rest of that section is covered above.
Perhaps you can think of a few concepts you might want to explore, then we can look at them to see which are most likely to work? We have no doubt that you have it in you to make a quite decent-quality character.
I just want to start this by saying, yes, I accept that this character is a bust and I doubt that there is anything that I can say or do that will get him accepted, but I would like some answers on what you mean by several of the critiques:
We do not mind providing clarifications. Have no worry about that.
"He is not appropriately tied to the Jedi or Sith Orders."
He is a Jedi... he's clearly a Jedi, he is constantly referred to as a Jedi, he has trained a large number of Jedi, I don’t understand this critique at all.
For this we refer to the spoilers section of your OoC section.
*Korrsh has a number of back-alley treaties with the scoundrels and rogues of Coruscant. During one of his missions, he hands over just a little too much.
*This overextension of Korrsh's grip allows one of the gangs to go on the offensive against another, pushing into their territory. When Korrsh and his Apprentice go in to stop the fighting, his Apprentice is killed.
*Korrsh's involvement in the matter is found out and he is sentenced to Exile from the Jedi Order.
*Going underground, Korrsh hires an old bounty-hunter friend of his to help him fake his own death, before he returns to Nar Shaddaa.
*Arriving, he quickly uses his affinity with The Force to overpower and oust one of the local crime-lords, before inserting himself into the local power scene in his position
*He goes out looking for force sensitives and is able to soon find a few and recruit them into his fold.
An exiled Jedi starting to recruit force-sensitives to form a second order? That concept alone was enough for the Jedi GM to say no immediately.
"In addition, a lot of the elements making up the character appear to be slapped together out of convenience, rather than being parts of a single whole. It feels less like a single character than several partial characters stuck together out of desire for a variety of elements."
Can I ask what the hell this is supposed to mean? Like, I'm all one for criticism, I can take someone telling me my character is bad and I should feel bad and to be honest, I understand the core of what this means and I assume you mean"Trying to make a character do too many things to try and cover all of the bases at once."I'll admit to being guilty of doing this with other characters) but how the hell does it apply to Korrsh?
Throughout the sheet, you focus on the criminal ties and predilections.
In his Force techniques, you specify that the Force is his greatest strength, especially mind tricks. You also focus on his extreme interest in droids, telekinesis and trying to predict the future.
In his skills you focus on mathematics, problem-solving and diplomacy.
In the combat section you say he’s mastered a lightsaber form while stating he favors another form for telekinetic combat.
In the interests section, you specify he has no interests to speak of and that he was an archivist for twenty years.
Other than the point about crime, these points are all only mentioned in those sections, without being tied together in any manner. That is what we mean by disparate parts that do not make up a single whole.
"He is a Hutt Jedi who keeps skirting around the law and tiptoing on the edge of breaking it, because he understands that this is what you have to do to maintain order in this chaotic world and because of this, they wont give him the rank of Master as he is seen as too much of a liability, much to his chagrin."
That is the core of character. Are you referring to the fact that he has Bounty Hunter allies that he works with? Does he come across as too much of"This guy is trying to make a Hutt Crimelord and a Jedi at the same time, pick one and stick to it?"
The wide selection of companions, several of which belong to species not on the approved list, is but a minor element, but yes, his seemingly being built as both a typical hutt and as a Jedi do not exactly add up, as the Jedi Order would have made sure to quash criminal aspirations hard. Only when they were sure of his being first and foremost a Jedi would they let him link up with the hutts again. But it is more the previous section that causes him to feel like multiple characters in one.
These two things stick out like a sore thumb. Im not trying to be difficult, but I am always striving to improve my writing techniques and I cant take criticism to heart and embrace it, if I dont understand the critisism. Can you explain in a little more detail what you dont like so I can avoid it with my next character? Like, your saying"It feels like your trying to make multiple characters in one"could you tell me what you think the other characters are and what you might suggest taking out to improve that?
All I'm asking for is a little more feedback, please.
You’re not being difficult. You’re asking questions and seeking clarification. We like that.
The rest of that section is covered above.
Perhaps you can think of a few concepts you might want to explore, then we can look at them to see which are most likely to work? We have no doubt that you have it in you to make a quite decent-quality character.
@Jasonhero
Chain lightning is usually a technique that can only be learned after gaining more than basic knowledge of Force Lightning.
Is Atroxa a Sith Lord or a Darth? The two terms are not interchangeable.
Bounty-Hunting droids are extremely unusual, due to the simple fact that an unaccompanied droid is considered a free droid in the regions bounty hunters are most likely to be found while working. See the Droid Guide for more details.
Some of the notes concerning early life from the previous review apply here too. You can probably surmise which these are, and if not, ask us.
How old do you put her at when she rose to the rank of Apprentice?
Review of Talik Gida
Chain lightning is usually a technique that can only be learned after gaining more than basic knowledge of Force Lightning.
Is Atroxa a Sith Lord or a Darth? The two terms are not interchangeable.
Bounty-Hunting droids are extremely unusual, due to the simple fact that an unaccompanied droid is considered a free droid in the regions bounty hunters are most likely to be found while working. See the Droid Guide for more details.
Some of the notes concerning early life from the previous review apply here too. You can probably surmise which these are, and if not, ask us.
How old do you put her at when she rose to the rank of Apprentice?
Review of Vasnai’Brinme
Suggestion: Add these two fields to the Holonet Ad section:
[b]Owner: [/b]
[b]Previous Owner(s): [/b]Possible other fields to consider adding: (you can reflavor them if you feel something else would be better)
[b]Degree of Loyalty: [/b]
[b]Ease of Training: [/b]
[b]Resale Price: [/b]Force throw is a subset variant of Telekinesis. It is unusual with a talent for a subset without having talent for the core ability.
Idle musing: we suppose that there’s no better example of having a price on one’s head than being a slave.
Possessions section:
While slaves do not have property, they are likely to have been provided specified clothes and objects owned by their master for personal use in ways that benefit their master. Other than when it is specifically of benefit to the master, she is unlikely to walk about completely nude, right?
Think about what she might have with that in mind. Some things to consider:
Clothes - Is she provided only one set or multiple sets?
Shock collar - Does her master use that on her? If yes, always or only occasionally?
Collar with Leash - Does her master use that on her? If yes, always or only occasionally?
Communicator - Does she have one? If yes, are there hard-wired limits as to who/what it can communicate with? If she has one, where is it located?
Self-defense tools - Is she always by her master’s side and protected, or does she have access to equipment to defend herself when elsewhere at her master’s behest?
Kill Switch Implant - Is she enough of a prize possession that her master would rather have her dead than in the possession of anyone else? If she has one, what would trigger it and does she know about it?
We are not saying she should have all of these, but that you should consider which of them she might have, and which she definitely doesn’t have.
In this era, Force Sensitivity cannot be tested properly at birth. Imperial children are tested fairly early in childhood, the time depending, among other things, on their ancestry and prominence. Even species such as Sith Purebloods who are 99.99% force sensitive are not defined as Force-sensitive until they prove it somehow in their early childhood.
Was her mother a Sith at the time of the birth? If so, what rank did she hold?
Where was she born? If in the empire, why was she sold to a hutt rather than one of the imperial slave markets?
With the above in mind… What compelled her mother to sell her? Was her father involved in anything?
If you can’t find another justification while taking the above in mind, perhaps one child went with the mother, the other with the father, then the father died, got into debt or some such thing, which caused her to become hutt property?
Something about the name “Biothem” doesn’t feel “hutty” to us. It feels a lot like it is Biochem with just one letter replaced. No idea if this thingy is good, but here’s a hutt name generator we found just now.
If she grew up knowing nothing but slavery… what made her hate the situation she is in? Remember, indoctrination/stockholm syndrome can cause people to accept the strangest things. We don’t mind her hating the situation. We just want to know how that hate came into being and (ideally) roughly when it started forming. Is her master aware of it?
Expert training in telekinesis seems a bit much for her age and situation. We do not believe she has had sufficient time after the basics to reach this level of skill in telekinesis. Especially considering the focus on Battle Meditation.
Does she have (or lack) any particular skills with things like piloting, computers, large-scale tactics, small-scale tactics, military theory, etc.?
It would not be unnatural to receive extra training in tactics to better utilize battle meditation in combat.
We suspect her martial combat training will be focused more towards self-defense than towards offense. At her age, she would likely have had opportunities to use lightsabers, but might not have one of her own yet. The PG understanding of the Sith Academy is not quite as limited as that in SWTOR (if you used that as a reference).
For the Politics section, you could, if you feel like it, make a note that multiple Sith affiliated with the Ministry of War have queried about her training status. An acolyte with her particular talents would definitely be of interest to such Sith.
The Jedi are unlikely to have all that much direct intel about those enrolled in the Korriban academy. If they’ve got good agents in place, they may have indications that there is a student with such talent, but may lack name, image and/or training status. Apprehending anyone from the Korriban Academy is a task most Jedi would consider futile. Assassination is far more likely to succeed, but even that will be exceedingly difficult. Their best hope is likely to see her captured or killed at some point when she is not on Korriban.
On ownerships:
Acolytes are unlikely to be given multiple sith holocrons even on loan. While not uncommon, Holocrons are not everyday objects that regular Sith have multiple of. A particularly promising academy acolyte may get access to such within rooms dedicated to such use.
Holocrons with rare lore, such as for example battle meditation, are more restricted than those with more basic lore. Supervision and/or restrictions on access may be relevant for such. It would be highly unusual for an acolyte to be given long-term loan of a holocron that isn’t restricted to certain chambers within the academy, let alone multiple.
On the major failure... Being caught on film having killed another acolyte is the sort that would require significant cover-up. If her Battle Meditation talent was known at the time, then the overseers in charge of her would have arranged to have any such evidence buried deeply, before anyone could call for trial. The footage would, typically, disappear into private archives accessible only to the involved overseer(s) (and possibly their master(s).
Some Overseers might even consider cleaning up the evidence to be admirable and find suitable excuses for keeping her safe from prosecution. If “nobody” saw the murder happen, then it was an accident.
Interview:
As killing another Sith is a crime, any statement on record of Alecor killing Liat would be tantamount to seeing him tried for murder. Suggestion: How about Alecor reporting Liat’s actions and his master ensuring that Liat was reassigned elsewhere, or suffered an “accident”.
All in all, we see great promise to this sheet.
When you’re done making edits, stick the sheet back to pending, @vFear.
Does she have (or lack) any particular skills with things like piloting, computers, large-scale tactics, small-scale tactics, military theory, etc.?
It would not be unnatural to receive extra training in tactics to better utilize battle meditation in combat.
We suspect her martial combat training will be focused more towards self-defense than towards offense. At her age, she would likely have had opportunities to use lightsabers, but might not have one of her own yet. The PG understanding of the Sith Academy is not quite as limited as that in SWTOR (if you used that as a reference).
For the Politics section, you could, if you feel like it, make a note that multiple Sith affiliated with the Ministry of War have queried about her training status. An acolyte with her particular talents would definitely be of interest to such Sith.
The Jedi are unlikely to have all that much direct intel about those enrolled in the Korriban academy. If they’ve got good agents in place, they may have indications that there is a student with such talent, but may lack name, image and/or training status. Apprehending anyone from the Korriban Academy is a task most Jedi would consider futile. Assassination is far more likely to succeed, but even that will be exceedingly difficult. Their best hope is likely to see her captured or killed at some point when she is not on Korriban.
On ownerships:
Acolytes are unlikely to be given multiple sith holocrons even on loan. While not uncommon, Holocrons are not everyday objects that regular Sith have multiple of. A particularly promising academy acolyte may get access to such within rooms dedicated to such use.
Holocrons with rare lore, such as for example battle meditation, are more restricted than those with more basic lore. Supervision and/or restrictions on access may be relevant for such. It would be highly unusual for an acolyte to be given long-term loan of a holocron that isn’t restricted to certain chambers within the academy, let alone multiple.
On the major failure... Being caught on film having killed another acolyte is the sort that would require significant cover-up. If her Battle Meditation talent was known at the time, then the overseers in charge of her would have arranged to have any such evidence buried deeply, before anyone could call for trial. The footage would, typically, disappear into private archives accessible only to the involved overseer(s) (and possibly their master(s).
Some Overseers might even consider cleaning up the evidence to be admirable and find suitable excuses for keeping her safe from prosecution. If “nobody” saw the murder happen, then it was an accident.
Interview:
As killing another Sith is a crime, any statement on record of Alecor killing Liat would be tantamount to seeing him tried for murder. Suggestion: How about Alecor reporting Liat’s actions and his master ensuring that Liat was reassigned elsewhere, or suffered an “accident”.
All in all, we see great promise to this sheet.
When you’re done making edits, stick the sheet back to pending, @vFear.
@Whirligig
everyone has some kind of master in the Sith Empire, except the Emperor. If they don’t want to be involved with their master they can just list some generic lord or Darth who never pays them any attention and lets them do whatever but doesn't give them anything either.
Given his sort of rank, position and situation, his not having a master at all is highly unlikely, unless you want him to be stuck in the Sith Academy as an acolyte, (seemingly) forever at the command of the Overseers.
We would be appreciative if you could format the Force techniques known as a list with skill levels (see guide to the force), and have a short description after the list of how you imagine he primarily uses the force. Mostly to give GMs and other players a feel for what he’s like in using the Force.
Given his age, he will know a decent bit.
If you look in the Sith Guide, you’ll see that Sith don’t have issues with giving apprentices their first lightsaber. While constructing one is a valuable test of skill, it is not one that all Sith feel is “necessary” the way the Jedi do. An electro-whip is an interesting choice of weapon, but it is not of much use vs. a lightsaber.
If he were to come into combat with another Sith or have to face Jedi, he would be easily killed due to the lack of a lightsaber. There’s a lot of beasts that at best will be irritated by an electro-whip. Having a real weapon to deal with that is advised if you wish for him to live. (which we presume you do)
You should note his piloting skill level in under his non-force skills.
There is one thing you have to define and make clear… When exactly did he join the empire? Was it voluntary (seeking them out), or was he found and given a choice where it was join or die?
As for his flaws…
Any Force Sensitive found outside the traditional borders of the Empire, whether they be volunteers, conscripts, captured Jedi or anything like that, will be put through a basic training regimen in the Sith Academy. That will impart a basic understanding of Sith culture and history, as it is intended to form them into proper Sith. It might not give a deep understanding the way being born into the Empire would, but some understanding will come.
The point about lightsaber is covered above.
The last two flaws are basically the same thing. And they don’t amount to much beyond limited political influence. Having a master, even one that is the apprentice of a sith lord’s apprentice (or further down the chain) will provide some very basic influence and protection. Granted, the further down the chain of command and importance to powerful Sith, the less this protection and influence amounts to.
We would like to see some flaws that are rooted more in his personality and character, rather than just his situation. Is he prone to angry outbursts? Is he fanatically loyal to anyone? Is he terrified of nerfs? How does he feel about the Jedi?
You speak of him as a major spy, yet nothing about such skills is mentioned anywhere else in the sheet, nor do his skills relate to this in any significant manner. This disparity doesn’t add up.
The text you wrote in the interview section as interesting. Perhaps compose a couple of more in that sort of flavor for other elements that make up his character? You could perhaps use
Rank:
Sith Apprentice (Beastmaster)
Master:
None (If that's allowed?)
everyone has some kind of master in the Sith Empire, except the Emperor. If they don’t want to be involved with their master they can just list some generic lord or Darth who never pays them any attention and lets them do whatever but doesn't give them anything either.
Given his sort of rank, position and situation, his not having a master at all is highly unlikely, unless you want him to be stuck in the Sith Academy as an acolyte, (seemingly) forever at the command of the Overseers.
We would be appreciative if you could format the Force techniques known as a list with skill levels (see guide to the force), and have a short description after the list of how you imagine he primarily uses the force. Mostly to give GMs and other players a feel for what he’s like in using the Force.
Given his age, he will know a decent bit.
If you look in the Sith Guide, you’ll see that Sith don’t have issues with giving apprentices their first lightsaber. While constructing one is a valuable test of skill, it is not one that all Sith feel is “necessary” the way the Jedi do. An electro-whip is an interesting choice of weapon, but it is not of much use vs. a lightsaber.
If he were to come into combat with another Sith or have to face Jedi, he would be easily killed due to the lack of a lightsaber. There’s a lot of beasts that at best will be irritated by an electro-whip. Having a real weapon to deal with that is advised if you wish for him to live. (which we presume you do)
You should note his piloting skill level in under his non-force skills.
There is one thing you have to define and make clear… When exactly did he join the empire? Was it voluntary (seeking them out), or was he found and given a choice where it was join or die?
As for his flaws…
Ignorant of Sith culture/history owing to his Republic upbringing
Does not currently possess a lightsaber
Considered a 'low-level' force sensitive
Low ranking in the Sith hierarchy
Any Force Sensitive found outside the traditional borders of the Empire, whether they be volunteers, conscripts, captured Jedi or anything like that, will be put through a basic training regimen in the Sith Academy. That will impart a basic understanding of Sith culture and history, as it is intended to form them into proper Sith. It might not give a deep understanding the way being born into the Empire would, but some understanding will come.
The point about lightsaber is covered above.
The last two flaws are basically the same thing. And they don’t amount to much beyond limited political influence. Having a master, even one that is the apprentice of a sith lord’s apprentice (or further down the chain) will provide some very basic influence and protection. Granted, the further down the chain of command and importance to powerful Sith, the less this protection and influence amounts to.
We would like to see some flaws that are rooted more in his personality and character, rather than just his situation. Is he prone to angry outbursts? Is he fanatically loyal to anyone? Is he terrified of nerfs? How does he feel about the Jedi?
You speak of him as a major spy, yet nothing about such skills is mentioned anywhere else in the sheet, nor do his skills relate to this in any significant manner. This disparity doesn’t add up.
The text you wrote in the interview section as interesting. Perhaps compose a couple of more in that sort of flavor for other elements that make up his character? You could perhaps use
[quote][/quote] tags to separate the various sections, or use
After repeatedly forgetting to fix the inventory stuff while at the computer with the PDF on it, we decided to move Lauk's Inventory to a google sheet.
So much easier to update, and it calculates burden automatically.
So much easier to update, and it calculates burden automatically.
Ok, @The Bork Lazer. Good to know.
Don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have, either here, in PMs or on Discord.
Don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have, either here, in PMs or on Discord.
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