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3 yrs ago
LUV GOIN 2 A RENNASANZ FAIR. LOTTA FAGET NERDBOYS BUT GAWTDAMM I LUV THEM TURKYLEGS. COULD BOUTA DOZZEN OF THEM TASTY LIL FUCKS. LEMME GET A HELL YEAH BRUTHER
4 likes
3 yrs ago
MY PAPAW TOLLD ME 1 THING: SON WHEN UR MY AGE, UR GONA APPRESHIATE TAKIN A GOOD SHIT. AND BRUTHER, HE WUZ RITE! KEN I GETTA FUCKEN HELL YEAH?
5 likes
3 yrs ago
GONNA HAVE 2 DO SUM COMONITY SERVISE BC I GOT A FUKKIN DUI. I ASKED THE JUDGE IF HITTIN ON FAT-ASSED MEXICAN GIRLS CULD BE A SERVISE 2 THA CUMUNITY! LEMME GET A GOTTDAM HELL YEA BRUTTHER!!
3 likes
3 yrs ago
I like a man that knows what he wants. And I love when what he wants is to wear a pirate’s hat and poop on my chest whilst saying “Arr! Swab the poopdeck ye scurvy hedgepig!” Aye aye, daddy! 🥵😫🏴‍☠️
7 likes
3 yrs ago
MY UNCLE DONALD TAUGHT ME 1 THING: NEVER ITCH UR BUTTHOLE AFTER EATIN SUM HOT ASS CHICKEN WINGS! CAN I GET A HELL YEAH BRUTHER??
5 likes

Bio

lol who gives a shit

Most Recent Posts

Adding my excuse to the excuse pile.

Wrote half of a decent sized post... then decided it sucked and scrapped the whole thing. I mad.
Also, these last few posts have really been good reads. I was worried for a bit that this RP would take off slow, but the action is coming together nicely and fairly quickly. Keep up the great posts, guys. Post 2 is coming along but with 70 hour work weeks it's taking a while.
Unscrupulous billionaire invites every head of state on the planet to a Jurassic Park crawling with alien monsters. I'm sure this will end well.
Queen Raidne said
3. Pepperm1nts: Megafauna. Should I just start inventing some, or do you have some that I can shove into Kama Brahma in your mind? I'm looking for a few particularly dangerous ones and one or two relatively harmless but impressive ones.


Definitely make up your own. What makes these RPs awesome is when you make something up on your own and other people take it and do cool things with those ideas.

If you lack inspiration, put something like "exobiology" in google images and see what comes up.
Khurama Jila, Nai Kolkatta

The churning throng parted reluctantly around Sofija and Erko as the two companions set out into the morning surge of Khurama Jila. With her arm held up against her chest like a battering ram, she plowed a path through the bustling crowd allowing the meeker Erko to hobble along behind her; courtesy to strangers was a luxury that could not be afforded in the heart of a city of over 50 million inhabitants. Sofija was by no means the only one shoving her way through the crowd; it was to be expected with so many people moving in different directions all converging upon this dense, mazelike plaza. Standing a full head over the average commuter here, Sofija could see the fate that befell those who were not assertive. Out-of-towners, or those who insisted on being civil and 'excuse me'-ing through Khurama Jila were swept up helplessly in the current of moving people. Sofija and her companion had no time for any of that, for this was to be their first day at the new job.

Commuters like Sofija and Erko made up a large minority of the thousands and thousands of people in Khurama Jila this morning. The open cobblestone plaza was shaded by a number of gangly, planter-bound persimmon trees for which the neighborhood had been named in Hindi. Originally designed as an island of peaceful parkland in a sea of dense tenement buildings, the plaza had eventually evolved into a teeming open-air market not unlike those that had once existed in China, Southeastern Asia, or Africa. Vendors and shoppers seeking out wares and groceries created a formidable obstacle course for those simply seeking to pass through the plaza on their way from Point A to Point B. With buskers, street performers, drunks, panhandlers, bicycle carts, and a number of stubborn motorists all thrown into the chaotic mix, it was little wonder so many commuters insisted that Khurama Jila was Hindi for "clusterfuck".

The first and perhaps the most perilous obstacle that Sofija and her Tkrai companion faced was the ring of roadway that surrounded the vendor-overrun plaza. Indeed, the ground beneath the dense covering of people was composed of potholed asphalt, suggesting that the ground they stood on had at one point been designed to accommodate motor vehicles. The Khurama Jila market, however, had long since annexed the surrounding streets and alleyways. Even so, cars, trucks, and a swarm of rickshaw bicycles made a slow, intermittent procession around stalls that had opened onto the street. In between the bumpers, a steady stream of marketgoers and commuters filtered past the vehicles in spite of incessant honking and shouting on the part of the drivers.

As they crossed the street, Sofija looked back to her her companion as she did occasionally to ensure that they had not been separated. Even at a leisurely pace, it was often easy to outpace Batmen. Tkrai like Erko had evolved to climb up the sheer rock faces and trees of their jungle homes; but were ill suited to cross large distances on the level ground humans preferred. Erko had taken to a kind of knuckle-walking on all fours to keep up with Sofija, but in the crowd he had fallen behind just as a motorbike revved up to speed through an opening in the crowd. Sofija lurched back and seized Erko by the front limbs, pulling him out of harm's way as the motorbike braked to a thrumming halt.

"Watch where you're going!" Sofija hissed as an annoyed Pakistani man on the bike pointed accusatorily at Erko and shouted something angry and incomprehensible.

With the street behind them, Sofija led Erko on into the porous outskirts of the maze of stalls and shops of the marketplace. Underneath a ceiling of persimmon branches adorned with strings of Chinese paper lanterns was the most diverse array of stalls selling every conceivable product or service one could imagine. There were carts piled high with figs, oranges dates, and plantains; makeshift shacks in which mustachioed cooks scrambled eggs and bacon on greasy skillets; a peculiar mix of firecrackers, dietary supplements, and hand-me-down electronic gizmos were sold at a stall bearing signs in bold Thai lettering. A Honduran woman painted hibiscuses and beach sunsets on tiles next door to a small beer garden set up around a persimmon tree with bands of black, red, and yellow painted on the trunk. Across the way from a Polynesian man scooping out ice cream for a troop of Armenian boys was a dreadlock-maned African beating out a metallic tune from steel drums.

Many times, this place felt more like a carnival than any kind of market. At Khurama Jila every tribe and ethnicity of the human species had joined together to create something more than the myriad races that comprised it in a way that would have never been seen on Earth. After the destruction of the Earth, there could be no room for strife between humans. For in spite their differences and their histories, the human race had a common enemy in the wake of the Listeners' rampage.

But Sofija Sobral had little time to celebrate the survival of her species here. Elsewhere on this planet were great injustices being committed against the world that was humanity's last hope and the native life that called it home first. Even now, Entaria and Ephyra poisoned the planet's precious groundwater with their mining operations. Corporate entities such as Tri-Star and Timbeross crept farther out into the wilderness, raping the planet and inflicting great suffering upon Erko's fellow natives living beyond the Clear Districts. If Sofija and Erko's work with the Foundation did not bear fruit, she feared Brahma would be ravaged by humanity just as Earth and Orpheus had before.

Perhaps, Sofija so often thought, humans and Listeners weren't so different from one another.

Here in the heart of Nai Kolkatta, immersed within the familiar cultures, sounds, and smells of home, it was easy to forget that this was not Earth. Nai Kolkatta, with it's transplanted Earth flora and unique South-Asian architecture, could pass for an Indian city at a cursory glance. Despite the numerous similarities, there were occasional reminders throughout that humanity was far from home. The most obvious of all dominated the sky: Brahmaputra. The swirling ball of gas around which Brahma orbited shone with the reflected light of the system's star and stood as an otherworldly backdrop behind the skyline of Nai Kolkatta.

A more ominous reminder took the form giant gun emplacement at the north side of the plaza. Even though it had been decorated with Mardi Gras lights and bright murals painted on the concrete embankments around the turret, it was still sufficiently out of place in this park-turned-bazaar. Sofija recognized it as a Antifaunal Point Defense Emplacement, or more colloquially a Mayura Gun. At least 50 years old, the turret was a relic of the early years of humanity's settlement on Brahma, when Nai Kolkatta was menaced by the colossal flying carnivores. An eyelike sensor at the top of the turret scanned the sky for motion, seeking out motion profiles that would match that of a Mayura. Upon being triggered, the gun would target itself at the beast and fire a salvo of exploding rounds until the Mayura had withdrawn or was shot out of the sky, all while sounding sirens to warn citizens to seek shelter. Though Mayura had not appeared above the confines of Nai Kolkatta in decades, the guns had been active until only a few years ago when a Pratchapadrian aircraft had been shot at. No one had been hurt in the incident, but the city's government decided that the guns had served their use and shut them down indefinitely. Though they no longer served a purpose, the guns continued to remind citizens Nai Kolkatta was only a bastion of civility on an otherwise untamed world.

Sofija looked behind her once again and found that she had been separated from Erko. Immediately, she turned back into the coursing flow of shop browsers to find her companion. Half a block back, she found Erko standing before a open stall. Hanging limply from racks behind the booth were half a dozen flayed and gutted alien corpses of various species and sizes. Underneath these racks, a heavy-set African busied himself by hacking the limbs off of an alien akin to a three-legged reptilian antelope. When his eyes met with Erko's, he set the butchered animal down upon a plastic picnic table stained with various shades of alien blood and approached the Tkrai.

"Ah, my bruddah!" The butcher greeted with a brilliant white smile. "I know de Batmen know good meat when dey see it." He gestured with the bloodied machete to a gutted salamander-like creature with four pairs of finlike legs.

"Watah lizahd! Tasty!" The butcher rubbed his belly with a chuckle, wiping alien blood onto a dirtied apron.

Erko said nothing, staring into the back of the butcher's shack. In the back was a pair of Tkrai peeling the skin off of other 'water lizards'. The two Batmen stopped when their eyes met Erko's. The butcher followed Erko's eyes to the back of the shop and glanced to the Batmen behind him. At once, the Batmen set to work again as the butcher turned back to Erko with another glowing grin.

"Dey your friends, bruddah?"

"No." Erko confessed raspily. "I have never met them."

"Don't mattah. I will let you have dem... for a good price."

It was then that Sofija that arrived, seizing Ekro by the arm. "Disgusting!" She snarled, looking upon the flayed alien corpses, but failing to notice the Batmen cowering in the back of the shop. "Do you realize, sir, that it is very illegal to distribute indigenous organisms or products made from indigenous organisms?"

"Are you with de authorities?" The butcher smiled. "Are you gonna take me away?"

"I will see that this shop is shut down! I promise you that this place will be reported to the authorities, do you understand me?"

The butcher only chuckled and resumed chopping the carcass he had left unattended. "Dey got more important tings to worry about. Nobody give a damn about your silly rules, lady."

"Come on, Erko!" A flustered Sofija growled, pulling on Erko's away from the shop. "Enough of this."

"Remember, bruddah, dey yours for a good price!" The butcher called behind them, pointing his bloodied machete to Erko.

Erko looked back to the butcher, but a deft yank on his arm directed his attention back to Sofija.

"Don't listen to him." Sofija commanded sternly. "What was he trying to get you to do?"

"Nothing." Erko lied. "He said nothing to me."
Oops...
After a day of thinking it over, I have decided upon a plot for my characters.Get hype.

I'm pretty busy also, but I'm working on my first post and will get it out when I can.
Name - Sofija Sobral
Occupation - Xenobiologist with the Tkrai Advocacy Foundation
Biography - Sofija Sobral was born thirty-six years ago to parents of Chilean and Croatian descent in Goye, a small city on the planet Orpheus. As a child who enjoyed nothing more than to play outdoors, the young Sofija bore firsthand witness to the effects of the colonial administration's terraformation initiative. She spent her childhood watching the very world around her transformed by the human settlers. The primitive native ecosystem of Orpheus was trampled roughshod underneath an invasion of plants and animals introduced from Earth. The wispy, moldlike growth that covered the hills outside her home in pale magenta was smothered under a blanket of moss and grasses. Escaped cats and dogs, birds, fish, even salamanders and toads eradicated the fragile populations of small alien animals; everything the humans brought to Orpheus seemed to destroy native life. It was these early hikes and forays into the hills that decided Sofija's path through life.

Upon completing her compulsory education, Sofija moved to Ciudad Capolican, the capital and largest city on Orpheus where she dedicated herself to a rigorous curriculum at the prestigious Institute of Nueva Araucania. There, her studies revolved around ecology, organic chemistry, alternate biochemistries, and comparative anatomy. Alongside her studies, Sofija completed exhaustive studies on the ecological havoc being wrought upon the alien ecology by the terraformation efforts. Even before completing her studies, her efforts won the young Sobral distinction among conservation circles on Orpheus and the remaining worlds. Upon completing her studies at the Institute of Nueva Araucania, Sofija worked alongside prominent bioethicists and xenoecologists to limit the scope and damage being meted out by the colonial administration's ongoing terraformation of Orpheus.

Sobral's work on Orpheus was cut short soon after her career began. For after some thirty years after disappearing into the cosmos, the Listeners had returned to finish what they had begun at Earth. Without warning, their constructs appeared above many of the remaining human worlds including Orpheus. Sofija happened to be present at the capitol in Ciudad Capolican as part of a hearing when the Listener construct above Orpheus was first detected. During the ensuing panic, she was swept up alongside the heads of state and taken aboard freighter vessels requisitioned to participate in the hasty evacuation effort. As the Listener construct approached her home planet, Sobral watched from low orbit as the meager fleet of warships abovee Orpheus launched a valiant yet futile assault on the Listener construct. The alien vessel effortlessly destroyed the defense fleet and descended toward Orpheus, where it proceeded to lay waste to the planet and nearly all of its inhabitants.

The ship upon which Sofija had escaped upon fled to a handful of colony worlds only to find broken, burning cinders where lush planets had been only weeks before. The Listener onslaught appeared to have been complete. But at last, the ship that had spirited her away came upon Brahma and found it intact. When she landed down in the city of Nai Kolkatta, she found herself amidst millions of refugees of worlds ravaged by the Listener onslaught. It was in those hectic times, when the cities of Brahma were bursting at the seams with such an influx of displaced people, that Sofija found herself living as a vagabond as so many of the new arrivals had. Still mourning the loss of everyone she had ever known on her home planet, the educated xenobiologist from Orpheus was reduced to life on the streets of Nai Kolkatta. She survived on taking menial, odd jobs when she could find them, panhandling, and worse. It was during these dark days that Sofija considered taking her own life.

But in her darkest hour Sofija met Erko, one of the batlike Tkrai native to Brahma. Erko, like the other Tkrai that had traveled to the human cities cropping up out of the jungles in search of work, had fared little better than Sofija and the other displaced refugees. Sofija empathized with Erko who had also been been subjected to mistreatment living in the gutters of Nai Kolkatta, and the two quickly became close friends. Erko invited Sofija to live with him in a hut in the Indigenous Quarters, and she in turned helped him improve his English that he might find higher skill work.

Through his fellow Batmen neighbors, Erko learned of the Tkrai Advocacy Foundation - a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lot of the maltreated Batmen. Erko immediately insisted that Sofija contact the Foundation, which he believed could benefit from someone with Sofija's level of expertise. Heeding her friend's advice, Sofija made her way to their office in Nai Kolkatta and provided them with her credentials. Many of the foundation's management positions had background in exoconservation, and were amazed to learn that the esteemed Sofija Sobral had not only survived the destruction of Orpheus but arrived at their office in search of work. Sobral was welcomed to the team on the spot. In addition, the foundation agreed to take on Erko as well -citing the need for someone capable of speaking both English and the indigenous languages of the Tkrai.

With new and gainful work, Sofija and Erko left the slums of the Indigenous Quarters for an apartment in the city. With a new home and new hope, the unlikely companions look forward to assisting the Foundation in preventing human colonizers from causing undue damage to this brave new world and the Batmen natives that share it as their home.
Second.

Application coming shortly.
Where da RP at?
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