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3 yrs ago
LUV GOIN 2 A RENNASANZ FAIR. LOTTA FAGET NERDBOYS BUT GAWTDAMM I LUV THEM TURKYLEGS. COULD BOUTA DOZZEN OF THEM TASTY LIL FUCKS. LEMME GET A HELL YEAH BRUTHER
4 likes
3 yrs ago
MY PAPAW TOLLD ME 1 THING: SON WHEN UR MY AGE, UR GONA APPRESHIATE TAKIN A GOOD SHIT. AND BRUTHER, HE WUZ RITE! KEN I GETTA FUCKEN HELL YEAH?
5 likes
3 yrs ago
GONNA HAVE 2 DO SUM COMONITY SERVISE BC I GOT A FUKKIN DUI. I ASKED THE JUDGE IF HITTIN ON FAT-ASSED MEXICAN GIRLS CULD BE A SERVISE 2 THA CUMUNITY! LEMME GET A GOTTDAM HELL YEA BRUTTHER!!
3 likes
3 yrs ago
I like a man that knows what he wants. And I love when what he wants is to wear a pirate’s hat and poop on my chest whilst saying “Arr! Swab the poopdeck ye scurvy hedgepig!” Aye aye, daddy! 🥵😫🏴‍☠️
7 likes
3 yrs ago
MY UNCLE DONALD TAUGHT ME 1 THING: NEVER ITCH UR BUTTHOLE AFTER EATIN SUM HOT ASS CHICKEN WINGS! CAN I GET A HELL YEAH BRUTHER??
5 likes

Bio

lol who gives a shit

Most Recent Posts

Eastern Europe, I think it would be safe to assume. It's never really stated.
Belkern's Anthem is pretty freaking cool.
**Novo Domov International Airport** Air traffic control techs diligently sat at their terminals in the control tower overlooking the runways at Nova Domov's busiest airport. The control room shuddered every now and then as jets screamed just overhead just prior to coming to a screeching halt on the tarmac. Incoming delegates from around the world were touching down every fifteen minutes, all arriving for the summit hosted by President Novak. There was little room for being inattentive here - a few seconds of negligence could cost the life of a foreign dignitary. One such tech was thus quite justifiably concerned when an ominous, blinking light appeared onscreen. "Sir!" He reported, bolting up from his seat. "Unidentified aircraft closing in at Mach 1 at low altitude. Radar profile is consistent with fighter aircraft; recommend calling the president at once." ["No need for alarm."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2r8qpf2Paw) The flight control manager denied, knowingly shaking his head as he sipped from a steaming mug. A flash of motion shot past the airfield, stealing the attention of the flight control techs. A sleek jet fighter - painted bright red and adorned with yellow flame decals on its wings and fins- screamed down the airfield at full speed before pulling into a sharp upward climb. A thunderous crash rattled the control tower as the jet's sonic boom reached the airfield. The fighter dove down from the sky and leveled out with the runway at a far slower - though still alarming - speed. The fighter swooped down over the wing of an airliner and then touched down itself. The fighter taxied itself down to the terminals with total disregard of air traffic control, leaving the younger techs flabbergasted. The air traffic manager, however, had seen it all before. "But call the limo drivers up to the terminal. They'll want to know that the Lizard delegation just landed." ____________________________________ Bert, the High Lizard King of Lizard Island, shoved the cockpit of his idling fighter open and slid down the nose of the plane and onto the tarmac. He tore the bug-eyed pilot helmet off his face and threw the headgear into the cockpit as the hatch shut automatically behind him. He was, indeed, a lizard. Fiery orange-yellow eyes with a deep, black slits sat upon the head of a bipedal gecko standing a bit six feet in height. He replaced his helmet with a crown and dark aviator sunglasses, and produced a cigar from the pocket of his patch-studded leather jacket. A black, polished limousine eased down to the runway toward the parked fighter and King Bert. The Lizard King puffed away on the cigar as the car parked itself alongside the jet. "Esteemed High Lizard King Bert," The chauffeur addressed Bert as he exited the driver's door, "welcome to Nova Domov. I am here to provide transportation to the summit today." "Neato." Bert acknowledged unenthusiastically, letting himself into the rearmost door of the car. His driver, seeing him continue to puff away in the limousine, nervously knocked on the window. "Forgive me, my liege, but we do not permit smoking in the limousine." "That's too bad." King Bert decided, continuing to stoke the cherry on the end of his cigar. "So are you taking me to this thing or what, bud?"
Googer's hysterical and unfounded fear of signatures will mean he'll simply have to go without any kind of post decoration.
I think there's room enough. Lord knows there's plenty of space on the map available. However, apparently Sadko has to make our vassal families for us. Which reminds me: Sadko, could I make up my own vassal houses with the assurance that I am not attempting to sneak in any kind of advantage? Simply for the sake of streamlining this process and getting this RP off the ground faster, would you agree to let some of us make our own client families?
So, when are we going to get this show on the road? It doesn't seem like we're waiting on anything.
Sorry it didn't work out. Take care.
Flag: http://images.clipartpanda.com/-xTgGybXTA.jpeg
Name: Lizard People Island
Classification: Lizard Kingdom
Government: Conservative
Currency: Lizardcash
National animal: Lizard
Motto: "We're like Lizards except good guys."
Continent: The one under Florida
Breif history: The people in the country made a time machine that melted down and mixed up regular time with dinosaur times but only in the country. All the people turned into half people half dinosaur people but only in the country and not anywhere else. They look like lizards now so thats why they call them Lizard Kingdom.
Anything else you wish to add: They are good guys even though they are lizard people now.
I really enjoyed the S'laa history as well and I'd hate to have Nex rewrite his app when it would be no issue to scooch Affadyqid off to the west or east.
Name of the Kingdom: Rohango
Current Ruler: King Ogun, the Black Tyrant
Dynasty: The House of Inshe
Flag: Pending
History: The Ebon Folk of the Gulf of Thralls are newcomers to the region. Only three centuries prior, their ancestors inhabited Yarabo, a lush and verdant land to the west dominated by giant red stones and plentiful grazing. The expansion of the Great Desolation intensified at that time, and Yarabo was swallowed by the encroaching desert.The Ebon Folk wandered east and after a generation came to settle upon the scrubland on the coast. Primitive tribal states developed along the Gulf that vied for dominance, sowing the seeds of a distinguished warrior society as the small states did battle for greater dominance of the coast. Wanting for resources in this relatively depauperate land, the Ebon Folk offered captive warriors and women to slave traders from the East. A lucrative trade network established itself along the coast, with slaves being the commodity that powered commerce on the Gulf. Sprawling encampments coalesced around the the established maritime settlements, giving rise to the first things approaching a proper city. Although slaves were the most lucrative and important commodity, there was a great and diverse wealth of goods traded for in the bazaars of the coastal trade hubs of Kisone, Qoga, Lubumbe, and others. Spices, corals, gemstones, and ivory traded for steel, wheat, and gold. In addition to bartering their material wealth and captives, native warriors sold their talents here in exchange for foreign gold. Those sellswords that returned came home hardened veterans with a knowledge of the tactics of warfare in exotic lands.

Such was the case with Inshe, a young mercenary who lent his blade to various wars and conflicts during the implosion of the Koronai Empire. In his service, he bore witness to a much more organized and sophisticated means of battle. War in the East was a totally different phenomenon than the chaotic skirmishes that passed for battles in the Ebon Land. In the East, ranks and files and bowmen and flanking and cavalry added numerous layers of complexity. The fighters with the strongest warriors and the most men were not assured victory in this part of the world. Effective use of the resources at the warlord's disposal made a greater difference on the field of battle than a thousand blades. With this knowledge was impressed upon young Inshe, he returned years later to the Ebon Lands with a handsome stipend and purchased with it his own band of native fighters. His small troop trounced rival warriors, providing captives to be liquidated as slaves and used to purchase still more fighters. For twenty-four years, Inshe did this, subjugating tribes and introducing modern fighting techniques to already savage and ferocious warriors. Coalitions of rival clans formed to counter Inshe's might were met with a confederation of clans owing fealty to Inshe - the forebears of a network of vassals. At the time of his death, Inshe died the leader of a unified Ebon Folk and clanmaster of all Rohango - Yarabo Rebornk. His son, Harabe, assumed rule of the Ebon Lands at the age of 20.

Whereas Inshe worked primarily to initially establish Rohango, Harabe moved to expand the power and prestige of his realm. To this end, he dispatched his warbands to the northwest against the settlements on the periphery of the Ebon Lands with the intention of capturing not land, but slaves. The wealth for which these captives were sold enriched the realm greatly. With his newfound wealth and armies of foreign slaves, Harabe built proper cities populated with fortresses and palaces of stone. Unimaginable feats of architecture were chiseled out at a terrible price in the lives of slaves made to toil unto the point of death. The crack of the lash rang out all through the day and night across the vast slave empire of Rohango. The Black Host, Harabe's endless legion of savage brutes, elicited terror across the southern realms. The neighboring kingdoms offered the Black Tyrant tribute that his greed might be sated. Bribery proved to be an effective means of staying the Black Host's assault; a vanquished realm could be plundered but once, while a spared tributary realm could provide endless bounty. The Black Tyrant's appetite was mighty indeed: vast quantities of concubines, slaves, and wealth were required to quench his greed. Harabe lived a life of fabulous luxury, but it left him soft and decadent.

Ogun, the eldest son of Harabe, was a monster even by the standards of Rohango's royalty. On his sixth birthday, Ogun did not request a single gift, but instead lamented having to share his playthings with his younger brothers. He politely asked of his father that he dispose of his two younger brothers so that he might enjoy the undivided attention and wealth of his father. When Harabe refused his wish, Ogun threw a hammer from a balcony of the palace and struck his younger brother in the head, nearly killing him and rendering the child a lazy-eyed mute for the rest of his life. Ogun blamed a careless slave for the incident, fabricating a tale where a chiseling mason allowed the hammer to fall from his grip. In his later teens, Ogun came to despise his father for keeping him from a throne he desperately desired. Early one morning, before Harabe bathed in the palace pools, Ogun released a starved cobra in the bath chambers. When Harabe settled in to lounge in the warm pools, the hungry snake slithered into the water and bit him in the neck. Servants who came to attend to their king discovered the famished cobra feasting upon their slain ruler's cheek. And so at the age of 19, Ogun became the master of Rohango.

From the very beginning of his rule, Ogun was transfixed on conquest. He cared little for the decadent lifestyle of his father, and quickly spent the great fortunes he inherited from Harabe on building a vast and unstoppable army. The new tyrant sent his Black Host against the tributary nations to the northeast that his father had spared during his reign. The invasion was a long, costly endeavor - Rohango's neighbors to the east had long anticipated a betrayal and fortified their realms accordingly. Many warriors died in failed sieges of enemy citadels - the Rohango tactics of overwhelming enemies on even terrain with speed and ferocity utterly failed to answer the problem of assaulting entrenched defenders. The first wave of attack was repulsed, humiliating the Black Tyrant. Furious and determined to avenge his losses, Ogun sent his envoys across the seas to hire foreign warriors as advisers. They returned with a siege engineer from the realm of Arlais, who was paid fabulously in exchange for diagrams of onagers and catapults of every flavor. He taught the Rohango to wrap projectiles in tar-soaked rags and ignite them just prior to launch, and he taught the stonecutting slaves how to bore tunnels under enemy fortifications. With this knowledge, the Black Host returned to the northeastern realms and laid a proper siege to their strongholds. The Black Host left their enemies' cities ablaze and vanquished these realms readily. Throughout the lands, Ogun ordered a massacre of the male inhabitants. The women, children, and male survivors of that onslaught were marched back to Rohango in chains and dispersed throughout the kingdom so that the vanquished peoples would be too thinly spread to ever revolt.

The Black Tyrant fancies himself a juggernaut, the master of an unstoppable legion of ferocious warriors. In spite of his barbarism, King Ogun is in some respects rather cunning. He understands his mistakes and actively corrects them; he is proud, but not so much so that he fails to see his errors. Even so, Ogun is a poor diplomat and a lackluster strategist at best. His ruthless ambition has alarmed the southern realms, who know now the Black Host can no longer be stayed by tribute. Ogun will have what he feels is his. S'laaeth in particular has certainly taken notice, as it is certain that the proud King Ogun must consider that majestic empire the ultimate trophy.

For if the Straits of Astieth are his to command, the Black Host can march on all the world.
Location:


Traits:
Economy
-Black Market
-Ports
-Important Trade Routes

Kingdom
-Developed Infrastructure

Military
-Trained troops
-Big armies
-Light armor
-Foraging
-Sieging genius

Flaws
-Not a flawless family
-Hated by the people
-Terrible boats
-Even your horses look weak
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