❱ ❱ ❱ N A M E ❱ ❱ ❱
Gabriel Archibald Benedict Carrington
❱ ❱ ❱ A G E ❱ ❱ ❱
36
❱ ❱ ❱ G E N D E R ❱ ❱ ❱
Male
❱ ❱ ❱ O C C U P A T I O N ❱ ❱ ❱
Retired Air Force Veteran
❱ ❱ ❱ S E X U A L I T Y ❱ ❱ ❱
Homosexual
❱ ❱ ❱ R E L A T I O N S H I P S T A T U S ❱ ❱ ❱
Single; Technically in a fake relationship.
❱ ❱ ❱ F A M I L Y M E M B E R S ❱ ❱ ❱
[Name TBD]; Fake Fiancée
❱ ❱ ❱ A P P E A R A N C E ❱ ❱ ❱
Compare this man now to what he once was and not a soul would believe a 6'2" behemoth of a man used bar stools just to get a glass from the kitchen cabinet. Or that any of his siblings could wrap their whole hand around his bicep - twice. Only determination over his developing years earned Gabriel his stature now. A lot of that motivation stemmed from a pack of bullies and his father's 'encouragement' to "toughen up." Even the slow increase in muscle mass, height, and weight didn't quite allow Gabriel to adjust accordingly. There have been moments aplenty where Gabriel forgot he spanned half a hallway, instead of a fourth. The grace and poise subtle in his smaller frame didn't register in his larger one and it took quite a few years for Gabriel to regain that. Like telling someone to put on over sized gloves to lift a tea cup without dropping it.
Even now, Gabriel feels most comfortable filling in small, tight spaces - curling his knees to his chest, or trying his best to take up only half the cushion on a sofa. Masculinity hasn't really been a pressure for Gabriel and he took a comfort in his own body, a confidence gained from years of working toward this one goal, that it's rare to see him spread eagle, or with any swagger in his step. Even now, Gabriel takes most from his mother. Even in his clumsy phase, every movement Gabriel took came deliberately, thought out in a span of a few seconds. Decisiveness had remained a trait of his throughout the years, especially when it came to facial cues and expressions, standing in certain spots, moving a certain way. Body language became viewed as an art form, especially when remember his own mother - in so far as mimicking her movements as a child.
With impeccable complexion, healthy and bright with a glow that distracts from the distance in his eyes, Gabriel achieves what any Carrington should in beauty - genes took 90% of the credit, thank god. After his transformation from a sleek, petite thing, early 'teen magazines' doted on Gabriel as a modern Adonis - though, that may not seem as special. Those smooth, soft features found time trying and stress even more so. Time spent in the military and through various struggles roughed the gentle visage with sandpaper. His edges came out rough and course. Even with the smoothness of his complexion and the sleek attribute of his form, there's a sharpness to Gabriel's eyes and a worn set to his cheekbones.
Falling to more casual attire, Gabriel likes taking advantage of the weather through his fashion choices. Winter leaves him heavy set in thick layers: pea coats, sweaters, scarves, and winter hats. They'll often appear in washed out colors: blues that look like they've seen better days, and reds this shade of worn out maroon. However, despite this attitude toward clothing, Gabriel refuses to wears shorts or tight fitting pants (though slacks are an exception; he likes his business-y pants to feel form fitting, but not constricting - silk feels too nice on skin not to take advantage of). Anything that takes the attention away from the fact that he's missing a leg is always, always a priority. So far, Gabriel sits on a high middle ground when it comes to fashion - he likes tasteful things, but not overly expensive.
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❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ P E R S O N A L I T Y ❱ ❱ ❱
From a very early age, everyone knew who Gabriel was. Not that everyone knew his name, or even knew him personally. Just looking at him, anyone could tell what that boy stood for. What he felt. What he wanted out of life. The years haven't been kind to Gabriel's younger half. In this day and age, being an open book meant absolute vulnerability. It forced you to wear your heart on your sleeve, sew it on and leave it to dry under the scrutiny and gaze of other people.
Curiosity worked as a driving force for Gabriel. The pursuit of knowledge had always interested him; he actively sought out more information. Even under the criticisms of his mother, Gabriel held out, let her often blunt words encourage him further. If she found a flaw in what he attempted to do, Gabriel saw meaning in it and let it drive him toward improvement. Gabriel always worked tirelessly. At first, the diligence came about to impress in a need for reward and praise - a basic human function. Eventually, that diligence turned into wanting to improve himself for the sake of learning, gaining knowledge - making mistakes and fixing them.
Even years later, Gabriel could never find a reason to blame his mother for her demeanor. She may have a wit and personality sharper than a mountain's peak and colder than one too, but he couldn't deny that her inherent shade of cruelty only drove him toward improvement. Of course, looking back at it, he had many reasons to resent her. Her need for perfection elevated her standards to unbelievable heights - unreachable. And the feeling of gaining her ire over her gratitude eventually led to bouts of depression. Things that needed therapy to correct. Lack of self-worth. Lack of focus. Lack of drive. He could very well blame his mother for all of it; send her the damn bill, if he wanted to. Could blame his father for lacking shits to give unless he found a winning side to latch onto; what he always did. A kid earned a Pulitzer Prize, he'd be there with his thumbs up like he'd been motivating and inspiring that entire time.
Yet, that would defeat the purpose. While, yes, they did deserve a lot of the blame, most of Gabriel's insecurities fell unto himself. No doubt in his mind his mother and father lacked any real experience as parents, despite having ten children. They were awful parents. But people? No, they were half-way decent people. They tried. They sucked at everything they attempted with their kids and they needed to stop having more after the fourth one - even the phrase, 'it's the thought that counts' comes up short. They tried and it wasn't enough, simple as that.
At least he didn't owe them everything. Years in the air force built Gabriel up, even encouraged his brash curiosity. They gave him something his parents didn't: a support beam that wasn't flimsy. Yet, even then, everything ended up crumbling, as it should when one literally gets shot from the sky. That incident took more than just a limb, it took every piece of Gabriel's mind with it. All the stability he tried building up years after leaving his home found itself abandoned in a barren carcass of a jet plane. Lucky for him, that was the only thing he left in the desert.
Now, Gabriel remains a huddled mess of emotions. Even years after he'd earned a sense of normality with his mind. That took more money and time than he'd ever want to spend in any one sitting - or multiple ones. Even if the PTSD remained unchecked, he'd fight it soon enough. He'd find some peace of mind in it. Though, any hopes and aspirations Gabriel had as a child seemed dashed and broken. But, hey, at least he still has that bit of his mother he can't seem to lose. A want for absolute accuracy and precision - utmost efficiency. That'll be a constant reminder of what he left behind, eighteen, young, and brash.
❱ ❱ ❱ L I K E S ❱ ❱ ❱
❖ Anything sci-fi; growing up, Gabriel had an intense love for space, as well as literature. He'd hole up in his room with dozens of books: H.G. Wells, Frank Herbert, Aldous Huxley, Isaac Asimov. He had an entire case filled with only various copies of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein taken from all over the world.
❖ Space; there was always a reason to be out at night, whether to star gaze or just bask in the feel of an entire trillions of light years of space just sitting above. Gabriel always had a fascination for the stars and he's spent many nights charting the constellations, as well as researching everything he can about those distant balls of gas filling the night sky.
❖ Being Precise; something he got from his mother - anything Gabriel does needs to be with absolute precision. Whether it's charting a graph, fixing up a room, talking, or lining up a shot.
❖ Silence; nights spent aboard planes and jets have given silence a new meaning to Gabriel. Silence means peace, a near blanket of security. Alone for hours in the fading hum of a plane have given Gabriel more peace of mind than he cares to admit. Enough time in his thoughts to justify any actions he's ever taken - even if the excuses are flimsy and last for but a few seconds of respite.
❱ ❱ ❱ D I S L I K E S ❱ ❱ ❱
❖ Loud Noises; raucous, loud, and abrupt noises send Gabriel into a panic. Anything louder than a car alarm shocks him into a catatonic state. The less noisy, the less it takes to bring him back from the edge; the louder, the worse the panic settles in.
❖ Wearing Shorts; shorts don't leave anything to the imagination and, honestly, that's where he wants to keep his leg: locked in peoples' imaginations. If it's not seen, they can't tell it's not there to begin with. Even years of therapy haven't stopped the crippling shame he feels looking down.
❖ Stairs; just, honestly, fuck stairs. Fuck long flights of stairs. Fuck stairwells. Fuck anything without an elevator or a ramp.
❖ Losing Control; that feeling of being hammered drunk? The feeling right before anesthetics put you under? That feeling when you touch a part of your body and can't, for the life you, feel any sort of sensation there? That scares the shit out of him. Freaks him out. Increases his heart rate and leaves him stammering. He refuses to touch alcohol, or any kind of pain relieving drug - or drugs in general. Those weeks spent on morphine may have been amazing during, but getting to that high was a ride in and of itself.
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❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ ❱ H I S T O R Y ❱ ❱ ❱
Out of all the Carrington kids, Gabriel likely comes off as a distant memory to most of the family. Not a failure in his own right, not a disappointment, but maybe a lost cause. Someone who grew into their own person too soon, out of necessity and maybe even survival. At a point in life, something just happened and the support Gabriel made for himself out of the little bits and pieces his parents allotted him crumbled. Further luck shaped and molded Gabriel into the man he sees in the mirror daily and though he has no qualms with his own reflection, there's something missing. Something that needs to be fixed and filled in before he can truly find satisfaction. And maybe satisfaction isn't even what he needs or wants - but, it's hard to put a word to something he doesn't quite know the contents of, just yet.
Starting out as a Carrington meant more than a few days spent away from family. Or at least, his mother and father. At a young age, Gabriel mostly kept to himself, even in the company of his siblings - leaving him perpetually introverted and solitary. Gabriel's childhood often found itself wondering at books, learning to read and write, and then finding time to spend with his nose buried deep in a novel. Until, eventually, a book of the stars landed in his lap, opening wide a new avenue of wonder and passion. A curiosity like his refuses to be sated.
Young and yearning for a glimpse of the stars, Gabriel notified both parents. The enthusiasm observed in the boy's tone was something to keep note of and, once their schedule opened up, they allowed a night of stargazing for the boy - after buying a much, much too expensive telescope for an adolescent. After that night, both parents knew that telescope would find itself in use nightly, likely for years to come. A fire like that in a boy so young could only lead to potential greatness, at least in their eyes.
From then on, Gabriel found himself piled head to toe in resources that further nurtureed his passion. While they didn't take quite an active role in building Gabriel's passion, both Carringtons invested much into allowing Gabriel to take the reigns alone. Even were it to be a flight of fancy, the amount of money they spent on Gabriel could hardly make a noticeable dent - not enough to rise to anger over disappointment. However, That neither need worry about as the older Gabriel grew, the more knowledge he soaked in. A child that young probably had no reason to delve into advanced mathematics, however, learning math and even physics came simple to Gabriel. While he didn't exactly sky rocket into Calculus at the age of three, he did grasp equations and formulas astoundingly easier than most kids his age (and if he started learning Calculus in middle school, who could blame him?).
At that age, most of the accomplishments that went under his parents' scrutiny only encouraged Gabriel to work harder. That determination allowed him to succeed beyond what was expected of him. However, even that had negative consequences. The higher he raised the bar, the more his parents expected of him. And if he couldn't reach the standard he'd set himself, they wouldn't waste their time beyond giving him small, hole punching critiques. Even tiny, they still felt like jabs to his gut. At its worse, everything seemed discouraging.
However, Gabriel could very well take it. He could handle a lot of things at his age. If he could handle graphing the sky and finding the distance from earth to a random star just by looking at it, well he could handle his mother's off-hand comment about how his 98% science report wouldn't hold up in a college course - "Something to think about, Gabriel, if you really wish to succeed. Mediocrity is a sin." In the long run, she had a point and he always worked to improve himself toward a milestone where he no longer craved to see his parents proud, but to see himself proud.
That wouldn't last long.
As a young boy, puberty didn't exactly hit hard - he would take growing pains and acne over bleeding through his genitals any day. That couldn't be said for his sexuality, though, and discovering his apathy towards the female form and a rather alarming attraction to cute boys (not riddled with acne, that is; and with muscles, ahaha) lead him down a very trying experience. Hiding that meant hiding himself, which also meant making sure that everything he did was done to conceal his secret - exhaustive work for a kid who still had time to be a kid. Even then, many of the children in his school had it out for him just because his parents had enough money to not only bribe his way into any school, but tack on a Ferrari, as well, without making even a small dent in their fortune. If people found out he was gay, especially rabid pre-frat boy acting middle school teenagers, that would turn an already gross and irritating environment into a hellscape.
Unfortunately, in a school full of kids of parents who have 'connections' and ways of finding dirt, rumors spread like fire and if one of those rumors happened to be true, well, that kinda just sucks. Kids can be nasty and kids with money, even worse. So, when a rumor spread that Gabriel Carrington was liked sucking dick, they took the bait and found it to actually be true (at least in theory; don't tell my mom, please). That meant coming home with bruises and welts and black eyes for days until his parents found out. That conversation didn't go too well; he never expected it to. His mother hadn't said a word. His father, on the other hand, made light jabs, targeting his tiny frame and lack of muscles as if to encourage him to bulk up and fight those kids himself. In a very typical, asshole-ish way. Sure, it worked, but Gabriel didn't have very many kind words to say to his father after that.
One good thing came out of the talk, however, and that had been his father's lack of care for his sexuality. Even if it came as a thinly veiled threat.
"If I think you're a disappointment, which is unlikely, it's because of who you are, not who you like."
Unlikely his ass.
That fiasco happened at age twelve, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. Bullied, ridiculed, and then told to, "... toughen up," by his father, put Gabriel in a hole he didn't see a way to get out of. He needed comfort, needed something his parents wouldn't provide because they thought tough love was the only approach to parenting. That meant going to his siblings, in particular his older sister. Unfortunately, that had been the exact time of her own troubling outburst.
School had just finished for the lot of them (graduation for their eldest had been something his parents wanted to attend, giving them the perfect opportunity to the see the damage already done to their third eldest) meaning at least one would be on their way to, hopefully, college. Unfortunately, Sam didn't see the bright side of her parents' approach, didn't see them wanting only reason, and teen spirit won over logic. She burst into a fit of rage in what she assumed had been in private, yet young Gabriel had already sought out his oldest sister to confide in. Privy to the details and grit of the conflict raging in front of him, Gabriel only stood and waited, hoping the one person who understood his troubles would only stay.
"Where are you going?" he asked, after watching her pack in front of their parents - watching as Sam stomp past him without a glance. He turned to both his mother and father, confusion and anger twisting his bruised face. "You can't just let her go. She's family. She can't just leave. She can't just... S-Sam?" Gabriel broke into a panic, dashing down the stairs to watch the door slam before he could get a word in. From the windows, he watched the smoke of burning tires mark the driveway and the black gates of their home close with a heartbreaking finality.
From then on, Gabriel looked at his parents with a deep resentment. Young and brash, he never quite forgave them and that only exacerbated their critiques, the comments he knew were only made to better him. It turned, "This equation is off by a decimal, that's why it's a 95% and not a 100%," into, "You'll never amount to anything; you're small, weak, and hopeless. You're not a Carrington. You're a disappointment." He twisted their words for his own benefit, he thought. He made them sound like monsters in his head until he couldn't find a reason to stay.
Even then, Gabriel forced himself to improve beyond what they expected of him. Aided with a growth spurt that summer, Gabriel began bulking up. Over the years and to the end of high school, Gabriel gained more muscle mass and height than was honestly reasonable. Everything his parents did behind his back came unnoticed. The fact that, not only did he attend school no longer harassed, but the bullies who had assaulted him no longer drifted the hallways. Were sent away. Expelled. Whatever. Gabriel refused to notice, refused to catch his mother or father's eye because once he did, he knew he couldn't hold his philosophy. His little fictional world that painted them as the villains; deep down, Gabriel knew they couldn't have done anything to stop Sam. She had her mind set and they were simply trying to understand her. But that would make his own escape hard. Dramatic, yes, but he lacked the reasoning an adult might have had.
Once he graduated, Gabriel threw all the scholarships, all the college letters, all the things his parents gave him to allow him success by the wayside. Without a word, Gabriel packed everything that he needed, signed up for the Air Force, and left for boot camp that fall. He needed to see them as monsters. He didn't want to. He knew they weren't, but it was the only way for him to justify cutting ties completely.
Those years built him up. They allowed a freedom Gabriel hadn't experienced. Not a freedom from his parents' restrictions, but a freedom from himself. Everything boiled down to orders, to obedience, to following directions, and to being lead. It felt mindless to him, not in a bad way, but in a way that he could lose himself and refuse to find what he left behind. Not only that, they let him fly. They let him see the stars up close, the sun shining behind the weight of heavy clouds. It may not have been what he truly dreamed of, but it was damn well close enough.
At that point, Gabriel had experienced a fair bit of the world. He allowed the military to raise him, mold him into the man he wanted to become. Or at least, what they wanted him to become. They pushed him in a direction and he went, without ever looking back at what he left behind.
Unfortunately, it never did allow him to really grow. And, while the foundation for their support was built sturdier, it would eventually crumble. That much Gabriel knew. Mainly because he also knew there were a lot of things he was avoiding in the real world and those things would eventually catch up to him. He'd ride it out, though, for as long as he could.
That end came a lot quicker than he anticipated. A routine air sweep over sanctioned parts of the Mediterranean turned into strafing too far into Libya, which turned into a lock down of that particular air space. Artillery fire and the night made it exceptionally difficult to wrap around and fly back to their designated air base. With only two planes on a scouting mission, it shouldn't have been too hard - hard, but not impossible.
On his turn around, Gabriel spotted a stray artillery shell flanking the second jet. Knowing it'd rip through the cockpit and whoever inside, Gabriel made a split second decision. Diving beneath the other jet, he took the missile head on. The explosion ripped into the wings of his lane, and inverted a good portion of the hull into the cockpit. Parts of the metal and wiring of the plane dug into Gabriel's right calf, pinning him to jet. Unable to eject safely, he'd have likely died in the crash. The other plane fared far better, having taken the bulk of the damage with his own plane, the other merely lost function to the aftershocks of the explosion, forcing the pilot inside to eject. The force of his impact on land had knocked him unconscious, however.
Gabriel still refuses to detail exactly what he did to get himself out safely, but it left his right leg severely injured to the point of losing all function and left him nearly bleeding out on the desert sands. He had to physically crawl through the barren sands in order to make contact with the other soldier, unconscious but still breathing. He bound his wound as well as he could and took stock of his surrounding, the cold shaking their claws into his bones. Unfortunately, his woulds had been the least of their worries as the wreck gave away their location to a roving, enemy mercenary group - pick off the survivors and scavenge what they could. To Gabriel, it'd be he last stand, unknown to the medical rescue team alerted to their location prior to his partner abadoning his plane for safety. After holing up with his lone pistol behind a sturdy rock formation, he held them off until the medical team arrived to dispatch the remaining enemy soldiers and lift them both off to safety. He lost consciousness well before they shipped him out for surgery. Gabriel woke up two days later with no leg and under a high dosage of morphine - his subsequent freak out took quite a bit of the on hand staff to calm and sedate him. With no family written in his records, Gabriel suffered his time in the military hospital alone for nearly a month.
After the ordeal he'd been honorably discharged, awarded a Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor for his valor in combat and his willingness to sacrifice. Of course, that likely televised event wouldn't have gone unnoticed by his parents. Gabriel, however, refused to take any of their calls and worked on recovering what mental stability he had left through various therapy sessions before ever thinking of approaching them again. It took years before Gabriel deemed himself ready and by then, he'd already received a letter for a Carrington family reunion. Now it was just a matter of finding a way to explain himself, while acting like his life afterwards was just him rebuilding some kind of normalcy, educating himself, finding a reasonable excuse that he would have been much too busy to talk.
❱ ❱ ❱ M I S C E L L A N E O U S I N F O ❱ ❱ ❱
❖ Lost his left leg and wears a regular prosthetic. He hides this rather well and refuses to explain how he lost it when people find out.
❖ He's laid low enough that his stint on TV only remains in vague memory. People don't recognize him on the street and he doesn't ever really boast about his received reward. He still doesn't think he earned it, after everything that happened.
❖ Takes medication for his anxiety and depression - still deals with PTSD. Loud noises and flying trigger him heavily - he needs to be thoroughly sedated before boarding a plane.
❖ Still dreams of becoming an astronaut and astrophysicist and has even sent in applications to places like MIT. He refuses to name drop, but his high school records are impeccable and he hopes he can somehow find a way to pay for classes himself. Right now, he's just taking a few small classes at a community college, learning how to cook, even knit, and some creative writing course.
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