Avatar of j8cob
  • Last Seen: 2 mos ago
  • Old Guild Username: j8cob
  • Joined: 13 yrs ago
  • Posts: 2468 (0.54 / day)
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    1. j8cob 13 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current All the guy did was change his pic to a swastika, say some entry-level /pol/ bytes, and changed his bio to basic slurs.
6 yrs ago
You know exactly who.
1 like
6 yrs ago
I don't know why we can't blast both zoophiles and pedophiles at the same time. Two birds one stone.
7 likes
6 yrs ago
idk who needs to hear this but if you like women then you're gay, no ifs ands or buts
4 likes
7 yrs ago
I'm back.
1 like

Bio

Bitch, I'm the best.

Most Recent Posts

I gotta know some character heights so I know who the best targets are for height-based boob gags. Saikohime herself is 6'6".


Suzume clocks in at a tall height of 5'6", for anyone else who cares.
Nice.
@RyoRyoRyoken I can't see the image on your sheet. Which one did you settle with?
Bragi acts like he's some kind of grizzled veteran, but he's only 24 and equally immature to the people he's complaining about. lol
Yoshida Suzume // Sparrow




...

The meeting had gone just as Suzume, or rather "Sparrow", had expected. Not very many of the agents were warm to the idea of socializing with each other, just as she was. This made it easy to avoid attention. Well, it made it easier. The busty cyborg ninja in the room obviously caught plenty of attention. It was difficult for anyone to miss her. Some might've wondered why she was attending such a simple meeting fully armed and in her suit, as most who arrived were very casual and unprofessional, but Sparrow readily explained to anyone who asked that she was going to preserve her identity even in social situations. Surely the Agency itself didn't appreciate this but it was in the contract. Suzume was to be referred to as "Sparrow" and her identity was to be protected. A meet-and-greet was no exception to these rules.

After the meeting had finished the agents were quick to disperse. Some went to go get food at the cafeteria, others just left. Suzume herself was feeling hungry. She had two choices: to leave and get food on her way back to Yoshida Corp. or to stay here and eat. Obviously the food at her headquarters was superior in quality. The corporate elite of the business would never eat cheap food. But Suzume felt a desire to eat something different for a change and so she decided to remain at the Agency for a few minutes longer. The other agents that went into the cafeteria ahead of Suzume seemed very immature to the ninja, who made sure to avoid them while she was in line to get food. She settled with a tray of steak and mashed potatoes, a very simple meal that Suzume never been used to. She made a deliberate effort to sit away from the others but such a simple aversion wasn't enough.

One of the other agents, a young man, began to play loud and obnoxious music while tampering with the lights. This was fairly brief as Suzume did her best to ignore the display, but when the lights all shattered it became increasingly difficult to ignore. Of course Suzume could see in the dark just fine, especially considering it wasn't even all that dark in the room, but it was the audacity of the other agents that got on her nerves. Clearly there wasn't much professionalism to go around. She felt that her decision to wear the suit here was a wise one, as the visor hid most of her face and would keep these loons from recognizing her should any ever accidentally spot her in passing outside of a mission. I don't even work with the other agents very often, Suzume thought to herself as she chewed her steak. I have to imagine they are only being so casual because the meeting request made this seem like a casual event. Regardless she continued minding her own business, acting as if she had completely ignored everyone else in the room.
Cassidy Hendricks - Some Alley


The young girl was quick to tear into the sandwich once Macavity handed over the food. If there was any question of the severity of her hunger it would surely be answered by her enthusiasm. She simply held the muffin and disposable phone in her left hand while she went to town on the sandwich in her right hand. One would think she was some kind of carnival attraction that impressed crowds in eating competitions, though all outward appearances made the idea seem even more silly considering her small stature. It took hardly a minute before she was done. Cassidy looked back up to Macavity after letting out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, again." The parahuman thief was certainly strange, in Cassidy's eyes at any rate, but he was kind. Kindness and burglary weren't mutually exclusive but it would be fair to assume they were particularly common together.

She shifted the disposable phone into her right hand and looked at it for a moment. Should she call the home phone first? Or try her parents' work numbers? Maybe calling the police first would be for the best? Ultimately she decided to try calling her house. After tapping the familiar numbers into the keys she held the phone to her ear. It rang and rang and rang. For an awkwardly long amount of time, if Cassidy had to guess. It just continued ringing, not going to voice mail. "That's weird..." she mumbled to herself, cancelling the call by pressing the red button. She gave it another try, achieving the same result when the number wouldn't go to any voice mail. "Okay..." Cassidy finally started to feel something in her gut. Like something was wrong. Everything about her situation was unusual so it wasn't too much to expect more unusual things to happen, but the fact that there was no answer to her call made her start to worry.

"I'll try a few more numbers," she informed Macavity before punching in a new number. This time she was calling her mother's work. She worked at a restaurant as a waitress and had odd hours, but it was clearly daytime so somebody there would answer. The phone hardly rang once before a man picked it up.

"Alton's Downtown Diner, Reggie speaking." Cassidy grinned, feeling some kind of relief that somebody finally answered her call.

"Hi, is Claudia there? Claudia Hendricks?" The man on the line didn't immediately respond, remaining silent for a moment. The brief relief that Cassidy felt was disappearing fast.

"Sorry, kid. Claudia don't work here no more. She died the other day."

The color drained from Cassidy's face. The phone wasn't particularly loud so it was unlikely that Macavity heard the man on the other end, but it wouldn't take much effort for the thief to guess what Cassidy just heard going only by her expressions. "I'm sorry... what? Are you joking with me?" The man let out a disheartened sigh. Cassidy could detect the guilt in his tone. She knew he wasn't joking, nobody who was joking would sigh like that. She physically braced herself for the words that were about to follow.

"I'm not kidding. It was in the news. The whole family was shot up, real tragic. They even killed her little girl. Listen, I'm not the one you should be talking to about this. If you knew Claudia then you should go talk to the police or something. What, was she family or something?" Rather than giving the man an answer, Cassidy gripped the phone tightly as she stared into the distance. She was in a complete daze, detached from reality. Of course it appeared as if she was just looking through Macavity's legs but Cassidy sure couldn't see anything. "... hello? You still there?" At this point Cassidy's grip on the phone had tightened to the point where her thumb accidentally hit the red button, ending the call. But it wasn't like she was hearing anything either. Her mind was still processing everything. Her idea that everyone was just sitting at home waiting to hear news of Cassidy's whereabouts had been completely false. Nobody was waiting for her at all.

"Hold on..." she finally spoke, moving the phone in front of her face so she could dial another number. It wasn't that she didn't believe the story. In fact it was because she did that she began to go through her list. She called the factory her father worked at only to hear the same story. Next was her brother's cellphone, which came up as a disconnected number. It wasn't until she entered the numbers to call her house again did she realize she was in denial. Cassidy stared at the numbers on the little phone's screen for a moment before closing her eyes. "But..." There were no tears, surprisingly enough. Even as Cassidy began to sniffle and her eyes had watered up, the extent of her moment of weakness was limited to quietly bawling.

It was unfair. Cassidy didn't need Macavity to console her as she got her emotions under control fairly quickly. The grief wasn't gone but she tried her best to suppress it. As much as she's come to trust this stranger that's been helping her she didn't want to completely embarrass herself by crying in front of him for twenty minutes. She already knew she would be crying later. Without cancelling the numbers she put into the phone she finally handed it back to Macavity. And then it was time for her to admit what both of them already knew. "They're dead..." Her hunger and thirst seemed like nothing at this point. All of her exhaustion was gone, hidden away behind the sadness that consumed her. As the girl stood back up she wiped her sleeve across her face, drying up the imaginary tears she thought she shed. "I..." She felt another wave of bawling about to come over herself, so she started eating the muffin she'd been holding on to as a means to calm her nerves. After a few bites she felt like she was under control again, allowing herself to look back up to Macavity with watery eyes.

"What do I do?"

Sonika - Over Denver


The flying supervillain was growing more irritated with every passing minute. Though she was flying slow enough to be able to breathe, she was still covering a lot of ground as she soared over the rooftops. But despite her thoroughness and efficiency she was picking up nothing. The teenage girl that escaped her warehouse was nowhere to be found. Natasha, even under her persona of Sonika, had always been calm and collected. She kept a thick skin and a level head, to assess situations and make the best decisions. But her search was bearing no fruit. And she was becoming angry.

The problem on her hands wasn't just an escaped product. The gravity of the situation was much worse. This girl could ruin everything. She knew of the Bratva's operation now and even the location of the misdeeds. The Bratva never left loose ends for this very reason: because too many things are tied together. If word got out about the warehouse everything else would come up eventually. Not just in Denver but the entire smuggling operation. People would surely die while many others would be arrested. And for Sonika herself she would be exposed. Not just as a ringleader of organized crime, not just as a supervillain, but undoubtedly her ties to Russia and the FSB would come to light. She would be as good as dead at that point. Her true identity being exposed to a world of ruthless killers would leave her with no friends. The motherland would surely cut their ties with Natasha as a means of protecting themselves. All the organized crime of the United States would have a vendetta against her. And even the US itself would try endlessly to capture her. Not to mention any parahuman organizations that would capitalize on her moment of weakness. This problem of an escaped girl was a very personal problem for Natasha.

But no matter how she felt about the situation it did not improve. The minutes continued to add up and still she could not find the girl. After ten minutes she realized that she never was going to find her like this. The supervillain slowed down until she was hovering at a standstill, contemplating what her next course of action was going to be. She couldn't stay in the air too long or surely someone with the PRT would detect her flying about over Denver, so continuing to search was going to increase the odds of bad things happening. She would have to leave the rest of the searching up to her henchmen. But Sonika came up with two possible solutions to this problem. Perhaps the most effective way would be to put out a reward on the girl. The new Italian mafia wasn't the only other gang in Denver's criminal underworld. While the Bratva had been actively removing many criminals there was still plenty to be found if one wanted to go searching. It would be easy to use word-of-mouth to spread news of a girl with a heavy bounty on her head. Money wasn't an issue and it would certainly attract more people to the cause. The entire underworld of Denver could be searching for this girl before nightfall, no questions asked aside from the price.

The other solution would be to press her contacts within the Denver police. The city was large and had many precincts, the Bratva only have direct influence over a small amount of them. But they had other, less important contacts among the rest of the precincts. Regular officers, detectives, operators, even a few sergeants. They could apprehend the girl for Natasha if she were to go to the police. This would require a bit of luck though, as if the girl would have to go to one of the crooked police first for this to work. If the clean members of the Denver PD learned about her then it would be all over for Natasha.

So it was decided. Sonika took one last glance around before flying back towards the warehouse. She needed to make phone calls. Even if she had to burn through cash, resources, and favors she had to keep that girl from leaving this city. This was one loose end that could spiral out of control very easily. All the girl would have to do is remember the location of the warehouse and tell it to the wrong people. The anger and irritation from Sonika was palpable after she gave up the search. She had only been in charge for a few months before something big happened. It didn't take a parahuman to see that she was very displeased.
Three characters are immortal/ageless beings, I don't think they really count for age comparisons.
Inb4 @Weird Tales and @Jotunn Draugr and @j8cob come in with the Gawker Quinnspiracy and NYtimes stuff.


If the joke here is that you are denying the existence of corruption in journalism then it isn't really funny. I get that you like baiting and all but don't bother mentioning me if it isn't at least somewhat amusing for my end too.
@VitaVitaAR
Nahhh, it's just the Magic License and also the Wizard Tower. You can't have a normal real estate agent for a wizard tower, it's gotta be a wizard real estate agent. You also can't have a normal bank take a wizard tower.

I could probably say a goblin bank? That might work better.


It's always the goblins.
I guess there is a certain charm to clumsy guys.
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