MiddleEarthRoze

Into The Dark: Mercenaries (Heroes of Fame and Fortune)

@POOHEAD189

Ehe...ehehe... no pressure then.

Lis:

Into The Dark: Mercenaries (Heroes of Fame and Fortune)

Also the Banian decorations in the manor were some awesome foreshadowing of what our foe would be. Lis should have som fun and horrifying flashbacks with this dude! ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

The Real World: Welcome to Miami

Hey, so basically a Big Brother roleplay? Should be amusing - I'll throw a CS in.

Eight [Sense8 RP]

Yeah, I could go for this roleplay! Always loved the series, should be an interesting story to take part in.

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion - Crimson Skies

@RokkuHoshi

The backstory of a character is one of the most important things in such a lore-heavy roleplay as this. What I've gathered from your arguments is that you've ignored my feedback under the basis that you cannot be bothered to do potential reasearch. Also, for you to say I've asked unfair and obvious questions; how? Where? The hunting talent and pelts were not obvious things to know. For a child who has never had to worry about food to provide for himself and his family, there would be no reason for him to learn how to hunt, butcher or skin prey. Just because it's obvious to you doesn't make it obvious for us.

On that note, what Jan-Hei knows is irrelevant to his backstory, as you the author, should know and disclose these things. Hence why character sheets are written in 3Rd person. I have not asked unfair questions for you to explain, and the face that you've ignored my feedback makes me think you're not willing to put in the effort required for this roleplay. I agree with Leos; you've had plenty of chances to rectify this and chosen not to, so we won't be accepting or reviewing any more CSs from you. Best of luck in your roleplaying future.

Oh, and I'm a girl by the way.

@macabrefox

Thanks for the input bud, you're exactly right. :)

The Elder Scrolls: Fruits of Contention - Chapter 1 (Completed)

A grand collaboration of myself, @MacabreFox, & @Leidenschaft

Although somewhat concerned at Sevine's state of health, Rhasha placed the healing potion back in his knapsack and dropped the matter; the potions may be needed more desperately later - and he had only the 3 of them left. As the situation seemed to deteriorate further (Rhasha'Dar was extremely sick of fire now, and had no interest in being burnt alive after surviving the attack by the Spriggans earlier) his racing mind thought back to his amulet, still sat in his room. It would be foolish to retrieve it now... Gods, it was foolish to be even thinking of it now. Chasing the thought from his mind, Rhasha followed Sevine wordlessly through the window. While appreciative of the extra room made by Sevine's axe, the climb through was still an uncomfortable one. Thankfully for his injuries, he landed on his feet outside, pulling his spear through with him and readying himself for whatever lay outside.

Much to the Khajiit's relief, there was not a Kamal in sight. When he and Sevine happened upon Jorwen, he and a handful of others were killing off a group of Bosmeri. The lack of Ice Giants lightened Rhasha's mood somewhat, but there was still danger afoot. It wouldn't take much to assume that these foes were in cahoots with the Kamal. Either that, or it was a particularly diverse group of bandits that seemed to be rather effectively taking down a somewhat large host of experienced fighters. Deciding the former to be more likely, Rhasha'Dar tightened his grip on his spear as his eyes danced around the scene, cat-eyes picking up shapes in the darkness that would otherwise go amiss.

With a sweeping gaze, Sevine gave Jorwen a quick look-over and determined that he appeared to be uninjured so far. It was here, that she took in the rest of the unfolding chaos. "By the Divines, I thought we were under attack by the Kamal." She murmured, taking note of the motionless bodies littering the ground.

Jorwen rolled his shoulders, growling and looking for the next fight. While the newbeards were busy slapping each other's backs about this little skirmish, he was keeping an eye out for the towering monsters to come over the hill and ruin everyone's day that much more. He heard the newbeards quiet down and one whispered, "It's the Huntress."

The mention of her Name made her stomach turn, though she wore a mask empty of emotion. Now was not the time to delve into the underlying problem of having a namesake such as hers. Her concern centered around the attack for now. As long as she made it out alive, and back to Do'Karth is all that mattered to her.

He turned to his Second and shook his head at the mention of Kamal, "No. Bandits, maybe. Where're the others?"

"Rhasha and I slipped out the back window. Marcel and Keegan are still inside the inn last I saw. That old orc is dead, arrow to the eye." She commented in a soft tone.

"Do you know of their numbers, Jorwen?" Rhasha got his own question in, hoping the old Nord would have some answer. He and the handful of younger men seemed to be coping fairly well against the myterious attacks, but the sounds of fighting and screams echoed across the wintry air - this was no small skirmish. While the group was untrageted, Rhasha gave his chest wounds a few more blasts of healing magic - he had no idea if there would be time to do so later.

"No." He shook his head, "I awoke minutes ago to someone trying to open my neck. This reeks of something else, raiders would not risk a fortified position unless they outnumbered us a good bit. I wouldn't."

"Hm." Grumbled the huntress, none of this sounded ideal. Then again when was fighting ever ideal? "We should join the others, it would be best if we didn't leave them to be slaughtered."

"Aye." He nodded, turned to the newbeards that had placed themselves under him, "Get your arses to the front with your Captain. We shouldn't let ourselves get on the defensive now, lads."

One of them nodded and they all jogged off at a steady pace. Somewhere, he heard Tower-Shield bellowing his warcries again. Perhaps a man after his own heart, the way the old warrior stood against his foes. He was happy to bring him along, no matter what side they found themselves on in the past war. There was a new one on, after all, with new sides to choose. "We'll let the Braves handle themselves. Our mission is to get Bharzak back to Ashav, she knows the Kamal better than any of us. Shouldn't waste our strength fighting raiders." They themselves made their way back to the Inn and Jorwen waited, putting a hand on the Huntress' shoulder when the others had found their way inside, "My orders, Wolf-Tooth, we don't belong to the Braves. But if the Kamal are waiting in those hills, we break them here." He said the last words with a darkness and sincerity and a hatred he hadn't been used to in a long, long while.

There was a tremble of fury on his tongue when he continued, "They took White-Eye from me and I ran. They almost took my daughter from me and I ran. They took Windhelm from me and I ran. I won't let them visit horrors upon Halla and Dawnstar. I will not let my daughter come back to see it burnt to the ground," His grip on her shoulder grew a little more firm, "Wolf-Tooth and Red-Bear, Skyrim doesn't sing songs of retreat with those Names in them. We'll make sure the Kamal know our Names."

"I will make certain that our Names are the last thing they hear before either of us leave this realm. Kamal, bandits, whatever awaits us, I will not turn tail and run." Still, apart of her did not wish to die before returning to Do'Karth, the pain of never hearing his soft-spoken words again elicited two separate emotions. One of profound pride, such that Jorwen had instilled in her just now. She would not run, she would defend this place until the very last breath in her body fled. The other, a more hidden notion that she did not mention to Jorwen, one she was still unsure of herself, that she would make damn well certain she would live to see the next day.

Rhasha's ears flicked back in fear at Jorwen's words; he was not a cowardly Khajiit. He had never been cowardly, never fled from battle to let others fall and die in his place. He'd been willing to face off a Werewolf just to save his own - but the Kamal were something else entirely. At least when facing a werebeast, you knew it was an animal; it had no strategy, no morals, no ulterior motive. But the Ice-Giants were invaders; killing innocents and destroying cities - even collaring and enslaving some to gain even more power in Skyrim. He knew that if his group were to face the Kamal, nobody would survive. Especially not the wounded; Sevine with her injured leg and arm; himself, still suffering from spasms of pain in his impaled chest and back... Daelin, unconcious and badly burned, still in his deep slumber in the Inn.

"Jorwen... what of Daelin? We cannot leave him here at the mercy of these attackers. This one cannot see the Braves protecting someone as injured as himself either." He knew it was a fruitless thing to ask, but somebody had to say it. Daelin was a dead weight, but Rhasha would not be able to forgive himself if he abandoned the Bosmer.

His gaze flicked to the Khajiit in the doorway. His words on Daelin didn't make him feel any better in his part. But if a dedicated healer could do nothing for Daelin, no one here could, past making sure he suffered through sleep longer. He shook his head, "We've done what we can." He said.

The words left his lips and cut deep on the way out, but there it was. "If he wakes, so be it. We can leave on the morrow and pray nothing happens if we like. I need to see this business done." With that, he slipped past the two. Sevine trailed after him, casting a glance over her shoulder at Rhasha-Dar. The Khajiit's eyes met Sevine's, obviously downcast. He would have offered to carry Daelin if he must, but in his current state, while fending off attackers? Rhasha'Dar's fate would be as hopeless as the Bosmer's. Sighing quietly, Rhasha trudged after Jorwen and Sevine, head down and shoulder's heavy, as if the guilt was pressing down on the warrior. Truly, Azurah had abandoned them all.

Into The Dark: Mercenaries (Heroes of Fame and Fortune)

@Jollan

Small angry Dwarf girl is called Lis, not Lin. :)

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion - Crimson Skies

@ShieldsOfWar

Glad to see you excited! At this point the group has already started entering the plane of Oblivion, so your character - when finished - will have to wait to be introduced once the gate is closed. This shouldn't take too long in the IC, as I'll be moving things forward very soon and we won't be spelunking in every nook and cranny like in the game. Your character would likely be in the camp below Kvatch, where the refugees and survivors are staying; your character could have fled Kvatch with them in time before the city became overrun, or they could simply be a bystander, arriving from outside to see what was going on; they can then join the group when they leave for Weynon Priory. However, you can still post and introduce your character rather than just waiting around; they'll just have to be outside of Kvatch, and waiting for the gate to close.

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion - Crimson Skies

@RokkuHoshi

Again, the specialisation section is for Combat, Stealth, or Magic. Whichever of the 3 your character specialises in is what goes there.

Expert hunting: Why? How? Who taught him to become an expert at such a young age? It's not like he had to hunt to provide for himself or family at a young age.
Sneak, Security, Speechcraft: Why? He has no need or mention of stealth skills in his backstory.
Smithing: Once again, no mention of smithing in his backstory. Shouldn't be a skill.

Still haven't said why parents left Black Marsh? If the father secured the job before leaving, please state so. Taking your family on the road in the hopes of securing a job is just foolhardy.

_{His father soon became highly respected when he advised the Jarl on a conversation he'd overheard between the woman and a redgaurd visiter. He'd heard about the Alik'r and had never trusted them. The Jarl took his advice and refused the redguards to search the hold for someone.}

This has obviously been taken from the Skyrim quest "In My Time of Need", in which Alik'r are searching for the redguard Saadia. Once again, this is not a valid excuse for Jan-Hei's father to gain trust with the Jarl. Chances are he wouldn't even be allowed into the hold, what with the prejudices against beast races that most Nords seem to have. Saying to the guards that he witnessed an Alik'r warrior questioning a woman wouldn't bring up any risks that would allow him to speak to the Jarl personally. You need to come up with a believable - and original - reason for why Jan-Hei's father became advisor to the Jarl, or you'll have to remove it from his backstory.

_{"When he was old enough, he told his father he wanted to travel to the other holds"}

How old exactly was he? Everything that occurs after this in his backstory seems very squashed together; he travels for 3 years, joins the guards, is "slow to rise in the ranks" but then becomes the Jarl's personal bodyguard, and then even more "years pass". From gaining enough fame in the guards to be in the Jarl's own guard makes me think he must have been there for easily more than 6 years, especially if he was slow rising through the ranks. That would leave him 19 at the most when he got back from his travels, and 16 when he left Riften. A child of 16 would not survive for 3 years, by himself, with very little training in protecting himself in the wilds; nor would I imagine his father letting him do so.

_{"Wondering what in Oblivion had happened, he began searching for survivors, clues as to what happened, and a local smithery. It didn't take too long for him to catch a trail of multiple people. Thinking of the possible survivors, he began following them quickly, hoping to catch up to them soon."}

As mentioned before, Jan-Hei will already be at the base camp by the time the gate is closed and the group start their journey to leave. Additionally, even if they had left, there are already survivors at Kvatch; a number of civilians and guards make up the base camp, that is not that hard to find. As for Jan-Hei's responsibilities, I can't see why he would linger with a group just to close gates when he has a Jarl to protect back in Skyrim. This needs to be addressed.

Again, he's carrying way too much money. Cut it down by at least 200 septims.

Into The Dark: Mercenaries (Heroes of Fame and Fortune)

At the sight of the noble mole-man, Lis' left eyebrow arched in disbelief, lips pursing in a displeased manner. Her look only soured more as the ancient Lord Pembrook began rambling on about nothings; clearly his mind was addled with old age (And alcohol, judging by the redness of his nose and size of his gut), and he still seemed to be living out his younger days in his mind. Although glad Kayden seemed to be dealing with it in a professional manner, part of her wished she'd taken the offer of wine now. If this job was going to be as dreary as it's employer, she was going to need a lot of alcohol to cope.

"We're guarding a dusty old book?!" Her harsh whisper to Kayden was equal parts incredulous and annoyed - this had not been what she was expecting from her first job with this company. She had expected fighting, bloodshed, excitement - even guarding a caravan on the road would prove more entertaining than being locked in this creepy old manor looking after an antique. Eyes darting back to Lord Pembrook, Lis stepped forward slightly to gain his attention; her not-so-quiet whisper to Kayden had gone unnoticed by the elderly man. His misty eyes did turn to her, double-taking and blinking in surprise as he had to look down, rather than up as he had with Kayden. Cheeks flushing red momentarily (Honestly, she wasn't that short - why did people still get surprised by it??), she cleared her throat, arms folded across her bosom in a businesslike manner.

"Surely tracking down and... dissuading this proprietor would prove more fruitful?" She suggested in as neutral a tone she could manage; only just catching herself at the end of her sentence and stepping back slightly to look at Kayden - he was the Captain, and it wasn't her place to decide such things; hopefully he didn't consider this for her to be speaking out of turn... otherwise they'd have some real problems down the road. Lis' opinion enjoyed being expressed.