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Current Aint no one gonna advertise the devil's lettuce in my forum
16 hrs ago
"Finally, a free saturday I can use to get things done" - I say, sitting here doing nothing.
2 days ago
Me, an intellectual: If you think that, you're not an intellectual.
4 days ago
Why is it phrased "Shit out of Luck"? You're "Fuck out of Luck" is so much better, and it rhymes.
5 days ago
Just started NaNoWriMo. It's a late start but I have about 600 words in one sitting.


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"Proceed 320 Kilometers forward and lower any defense systems you may have. That is an order." the voice over the comm demanded. It was the wrong way to end a phrase when speaking to Neil. If he hadn't already sworn allegiance to you, he'll sooner shoot you than comply with any orders you had to give. He was about to tell the Terran's to go fuck themselves when he noticed a slight movement to the side, and realized it was Junebug's head slumping as she lost consciousness.

Neil's head began to burn out of a sudden spike of anxiety. "Fine, fine...yeah yeah." he agreed.

Saxon grabbed Neil and pulled him up to dangle over the chair, his mandible smelling of a fresh kill. "Are you insane? If you are not working for them, what do you think they're doing here if not to imprison you?"

"You're not wanted, are you?" Neil asked him, swallowing. His heart beat rapidly, though it was more out of worry for Sayeeda than fear of Saxon, unless Saxon saw to it they did not comply. "Do you really think we can outrun them in this junker?"

"He's right." Sven said, his gravely voice as neutral as ever. He simply looked forward, worry not present, but as always with a calculated pragmatism. "Judging by the limited information, I still gather we have a 1 in 870 chance of evading them, and if we did, where would we go? Our goal was to find their interstellar ship. Without it, we will be unable to survive."

Saxon dropped Neil into the chair, clenching his massive, clawed fists in barely surpressed anger. Neil ignored him. "We have wounded on board." Neil said over the Comm. The static disappeared and the voice spoke again. "Medical staff standing by. When the ship is docked, hand over all weapons and await further instruction."

Neil sped the ship forward with all haste, nearly frying the thrusters. Never in his life had he willingly gone toward the law until today.
It was all Cyrdic could do to hold off the beastmen that were teetering upon the stairway when Camilla fled. He was nearly skewered when he saw the Khornate warrior go after her, and he was honestly contemplating giving up the stairway and allowing these monsters to flow into the city to save Camilla's life. He wondered if such ways were how men turned to Chaos. To give up something morally imperative to save something precious to them. He decided now was not the time to think on such philosophical questions.

It was with a force of will that allowed Cyrdic to remain defending until reinforcements arrived, though they weren't the ones he had thought would come. By Sigmar, Ulric, and Taal, they needed the city guard, not two more mercenaries! No matter how skilled! He realized he had no room to complain however, blocking an axe with a swipe of his longsword and kicking a beastman's shin, causing the monster to topple off and hit the flagstones a dozen feet below, breaking a limb or two.

That beastman wasn't alone, as other marauders or beastmen had already fallen from higher heights and were either broken or unconscious. Yantz went to work dispatching each of them, slitting throats and gutting them while keeping his eye above so none that fell would land on him. Skaldi had not stayed idle, running up the stairwell as fast as his stubby legs could carry him, shield raised and gromril axe ready.

"Right, Ostlander!" Skaldi roared, and Cyrdic sidestepped toward the wall as Skaldi took the left side of the stairwell, taking much pressure off Cyrdic. Anyone looking Cyrdic's way would see he was only moving by sheer force of will at the moment. There was a small fountain of blood dripping from somewhere above his scalp, and his side was lightly ripped open. Still, he moved with a ferocity that befet a warrior or Ulric, matching Beastmen in strength and Norscan's in barbarity as Skaldi hacked and bashed, severing legs and eviscerating chaos spawn.

Camilla had begun to aid Yantz, cutting and slicing those that managed to leap or fall off. It was only by the grace of Sigmar, or perhaps Ursun that they were still alive. But as more Norscans made it up the walls, with larger and stronger opponents on the way, it was only a matter of time before the tired defenders were overwhelmed. Cyrdic cut a Norscan in the collarbone, while receiving a blow to his own shoulder, one that left a nasty gash he knew he needed to worry about.

Suddenly, just as Cyrdic and Skaldi were knocked back by a large Minotaur, arrows and gunshots rang out from the alleyways to the west, and a great cry rose up as men in brigandines and sabers came to the companion's aid. Otto the Greatsword led them, his face cleaned and with a renewed vigor and sense of purpose, charging in to aid his comrades. They rushed forward, causing the Chaos warriors to be distracted for a moment and gave the two on the stairway time to breathe as they rushed in.

As Camilla and Yantz were doing their bloody work, one of the headless Norscan bodies twitched. It was a barely perceptible movement, but neither of the two noticed. Until the Chaos infestation that had been borne within sprang to life, and a horrible face of a serpent with a man's visage sprouted out of the corpse's neck, and its hand grabbed Camilla's ankle. She screamed, turned and stabbed the writhing body with her blade, the elven sword ending its secondary daemonic life. Cyrdic had heard the cry though and turned on instinct, lowering his guard.

A club struck him at the back of his head and sent him hurtling towards the ground, ten feet below. His nerveless fingers let go of his sword, and he felt as if was now falling for eternity. Just as the city watch made it to the stairwell, Cyrdic' world went black, and he knew no more.
@Rawk@Fetzen Glad t'see you boys round these parts.
It's looking to be fun! There isn't enough Urban Fantasy on the Guild.
"You sure you can drive one of these?" Junebug asked.

Neil carefully flipped every switch he believed he needed in order to get this ship out of orbit, at least moving as if he knew what to do. "Well," he began, yanking the throttle that happened to be hanging above him in the form of a lever grip. "It's no Highlander, but I've flown things like this before back on Signus Prime, when I was there for a few months and sweet on one of the loading worker girls. I spent my time flying a small loading-"

Saxon cut in. "Spare us the stories. Can you fly this or not?"

Neil gave him an intensely sarcastic side-eye look. "Yes." He said with emphasis. To hammer in the point, the entire ship jumped for a split second and sent everyone, even the heavy Xenos off the floor for a moment, causing everyone except Sven to give a small cry of a alarm. When they righted themselves, there was only a small but incredibly uncomfortable juttering across the entire ship. Saxon's growl caused Neil to turn around. "Might wanna fasten your seat belt, bit guy." He turned to Sayeeda. "By the way, what kind of weapon was that guy you killed carrying?"

Sayeeda coughed, holding her stomach as if to keep each rib still in line. "Looks like a slug-thrower M90." she said.

"Wow, don't see much of those anymore." Neil replied, secretly hoping it had been a las-carbine. Those were usually best when trying to board a ship. Very good against personnel, but gave little damage to ship plating. Still, he doubted the slug thrower would do much to a ship hull either. By Good Gideon, he wished he had his other guns. He didn't even know if this ship had a honing sensor that could lock onto other ship frequencies.

Sudden wind currents caused the ship to rock to the side in a way that felt very much like they were freefalling, but after a moment the cargo ship righted itself. "Ho ho, thought I'd killed us all for a moment."

"Wouldn't," she coughed. "Be the first time."

Neil grinned at her, and helped her sit back a bit so she could keep still and not get hurt further. "Only a few more minutes and we'll be out of orbit. We'll find it." He said. And he was right.

Unfortunately, he only picked up the Terran ships and their cloaking devices were dicovered when they were within a hundred and twelve kilometers from them, and they were closing fast. "Sssshit!" Neil exclaimed, trying to get the cargo ship to turn. He knew then that they had to have captured the Highlander. He'd been following their frequency ever since they made orbit. "So Junebug, er, Captain. I think they have Taya..."
The Mantiraus roared long and loud, bearing fangs that a bull shouldn't naturally have in its maw. It's cry was abruptly halted as a crossbow bolt from An-Hasst stuck into its mane, though it didn't seem to be any sort of a fatal wound. The mane was tough and full of thick hair, and more as likely the bolt merely dug into its skin near the shoulder. An arrow followed suit however, the bodkin point that had been shot from Calanon's recurve finding its mark into the flesh of the beast's opposite shoulder, staggering it slightly. Calanon was a fine shot with a bow. He had even done it as Brogach had reared like a wild stallion.

Unfortunately, the Mantiraus was now angrier than ever, and instead of roaring, it opened its great maw and an arc of lightning shot out of its mouth. Calanon had barely the time to turn enough to block the blast with his shield before he was knocked clear off Brogach to roll into the thickets, alive but obviously out of commission for a moment or two. Brogach scampered about, letting out brays. Argon the Saurdraxus did not seem perturbed, and though the beast was larger than even his considerable bulk, he charged and gave a wild slash, tearing into the muscled flank of the Mantiraus. The beast responded with a swipe of its tail that Argon took solidly to the chest, but the Lizardman held his ground. Though a few more hits like that and he might have a few broken ribs.

Argon leaped back to avoid another hit as Nicadimus called and rallied the group to him, slithering over to he and Alice and holding his shield out before them, protecting their left side.

Beren blinked, his face softening and concerned for her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and stepped out of the trench. "They'll be ok, don't worry." He told her, and bent over to grab his shirt. He slipped it over his broad shoulders, covering his muscled chest. "Look...let's get a few drinks. Calanon will be ok and I know you need to wind down. They're on me, ok?" He asked her, and went to inspect her spikes. He inspected the spike, and nodded. He muttered a 'not bad' to himself.

On the otherside of town, there was tears and thank yous galore, and the mother cradled her child with love as her husband told them to tell the bartender that John Cam sent them, and they'll get free mead for their first three rounds. Within the bar, there was a slightly rougher crowd than earlier now that the day had gone on for a time now. Three of the younger men were practicing knife throwing at the southern wall, and some of the older, more bearded gentlemen were playing a game of cards called 'Guantlet.' Each were betting on their outcomes.
@Mortarion@Gardevoiran@BCTheEntity@Fetzen@Stormflyx@The Fated Fallen
Normally the guards...lazy-inclined mercenaries would be a better term, would have put up some initial resistance against an aggressive foe. Unfortunately for them, their foe was consisted of a hulkingly feral Xenos, a tall and methodically deadly Cyborg, and the most dangerous of all, a young pyromaniac operating heavy machinery. It took less than a minute past the fence and five men dead to get the group to one of the junkers that lay in the lot.

"Securing perimeter." Sven said with pausing, immediately patrolling the vicinity in the hanger to make sure there were no more enemies lying in wait. Reinforcements would no doubt be minutes away and they would likely be overwhelming. Not to mention AA guns would be coming online shortly after that to send them all to hell. The MH-350's cockpit opened, and Neil picked up Sayeeda as carefully and as quickly as he could and stepped out, her body draped across his shoulder with her legs at his front.

She patted his back. "Weapon." She said to him. He blinked, not knowing if she was awake enough for that. After a slight hesitation, he handed her his 10 mm pistol. "You're the Captain." He said.

The Hexa had done his best not to rip onto the doors to the Junker, the metal screeching as it slid open. He entered the Junker with Neil following tentatively behind, trying not to stand too directly in the middle of any walk way in case the avalanche of an bounty hunter decided to wade his way without looking. A part of him still feared that Saxon will just 'decide' that they had partnered long enough and he would casually snap Neil's neck. He hoped there was a way he could bring the mech.

As they stepped inside, the walls themselves looked ruses and lightly bent from constant use, but upon a very very quick inspection, Neil designated that the structure of the ship was good enough to risk a flight, considering the alternative. Across the ship, he heard Saxon's footsteps halt for a moment, and then a very human scream echoed across the halls before it was suddenly silenced, and the heavy footsteps continued. Neil bared his teeth in a grimace.

The door in front of him burst open, and a mangy, grime ridden man holding a rifle stood there, eyes wild and his barrel pointed at Neil's face. The pilot was glad he wasn't holding a weapon. "Hold on, I have a wounded person here." Neil said, slowly raising his hands. The man's hands shook, and Neil wasn't convinced he wouldn't accidentally shoot Neil out of sheer shuddering. "T-Turn around. Slowly." He ordered him.

Predictable, Neil did so, and the man found himself on the wrong end of Sayeeda's pistol. He dropped even before the crack of her gun had faded. Neil had only heard the shot, but judging the fact that he hadn't been hit and Sayeeda was reloading the weapon, it was a safe bet she killed the guy. "Nice shooting." Neil said. Sayeeda smacked his ass, causing him to jump. "Get to the cockpit," she ordered hoarsely.

"You got it."
Glad to have you!
@Hour Error Hid the double post for ya ;D
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