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Dear Mr Curly,
I have done little travelling lately because I have been so dreadfully weary. Can it be true as the old Ecclesiastes said; that all things lead to weariness? Surely not. Perhaps the opposite is true: that all nothings lead to weariness. I have a peculiar feeling, Curly, that I am worn out from something I haven't yet done and the more I don't do it, the more exhausted I become. How strange. Could it be something I haven't realised? Perhaps it's something I haven't said? Something I haven't finished! It must be very large and true whatever it is and a lively struggle in the doing but I look forward to it immensely. I know I need it. First, however, I must curl up in my chair and sleep deeply with the duck. Perhaps I'll dream of this thing and wake up refreshed and do it. My fond wishes to you Mr. Curly, and to all Curly Flat.
Yours sleepily,
Vasco Pyjama
xxx
P.S. Not having breakfast can make you weary. That's for sure!
Michael Leunig. The Curly Pyjama Letters.

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Along with Meesei's words, the Hist started to echo Sabine's own conclusions and amplify them. She nodded, tensing her brow and knowing exactly what to do. She looked at the witch that was chiding them again and the scene resumed where it had stopped.

"Pushing over Sentinels is one thing, girls, but wasting rare ingredients is quite another!" The witch said, looking cross with one fist on her hip and her other hand pointing at them.

Ariel tried to intervene, "Sabine did nothing wrong, it was-"

"I did it!" Sabine's shout silenced and astonished both of them. Sabine had her fists clenched so hard by her sides that they became sore. "I spilled the void salts. I'm sorry. I wanted to use them in a potion, but I panicked when a sentinel saw me." Somehow, Sabine managed not to burst into tears when confessing, but her knees were still shaking from fear.

Ariel was open-mouthed and speechless, while the witch stood up straight and crossed her arms with a pout that made her look as if she was hiding a mouth full of needles. The memory sped up and flowed into a condensed series of events that followed through Sabine's mind, outlining the consequences of her decision. Sure, she was beaten across the back with a nettle branch like other children were when they misbehaved, but just the act of owning up rather than being protected gave her more confidence. She was punished, but she was okay afterwards. The knowledge that she would be okay carried her further. The artificial speculation of the Hist faded away in a time too short or long for Sabine to properly discern, but something was left behind in the experience. A new confidence came about that wasn't fading away.

The Hist didn't even give Sabine a chance to come to terms with the change that had occurred before their thoughts began searching again, eventually coalescing into a new memory. This one was one she instantly recognised. Once again she was in the coven, the laboratory this time. She was on her own except for Meesei, but held in her hand a large evaporating flask and was stretching out her other hand to a Daedra heart sitting on a counter. Judging by her height, she was maybe half a year to two years older than the last memory.

She withdrew her hand from the attempt to grab the heart and closed her fingers into a fist, bringing a knuckle to her mouth and biting down, shocked. She shook her head and began to breath faster. Was this really the next thing she would have to decide? But it seemed so much more obvious than the last one.

The heart in front of her was one she had decided to use in a shock shield potion for fun. At the time, she didn't know that it was a vital component in the coven's method of summoning Hircine, and tonight was the night that a certain pack would come to visit demanding an audience with the Lord of the Hunt himself. It had been her fault that the summoning ritual failed as far as she saw, but she told no one. This was one detail of the story that even Ariel didn't know about. Sabine had kept it bottled up, wracking herself with guilt for years about it. No one in the coven knew that she had taken the heart. No one knew that she could have prevented many of their deaths and perhaps even her turning.

"Too easy. This is... too easy." Sabine said, as much to herself as Meesei, "All I have to do is leave the heart, but that... this is a trick." Sabine's breathing quickened further and she looked to Meesei uncomfortably. "What do I do?"
Sabine listened to Meesei's words, glad for something coherent amongst the voices of the Hist, but still deep in thought. She looked over to the stoic and frozen face of Ariel and the Hist quietened save for the odd whisper. Ariel would have been about as old as Sabine was back in reality. Apart from a few different facial inflections, she looked a lot like Sabine at the same age.

What was important here? What was she thinking when she was here as a child?

Ariel was always someone Sabine looked up to in her childhood. At least, before the trauma. She seemed so strong and brave. She could take the older witches' words with just this face. Knowing and courageous. Even if it was not her responsibility, even if she was just protecting Sabine.

Sabine started to blink as she recollected her view of the situation. Her eyes started to burn, but they didn't quite reach the point of shedding tears. "I... wanted to be strong, like Ariel," Sabine whimpered, her voice higher and unbroken in its childish form, "Ariel could be yelled at without crying. She knew I cried when the witches punished me, so she took the punishment."

It was this moment amongst all in Sabine's memory where she had wished she could step up and be as strong as Ariel. Not taking the punishment was something she had regretted whenever she thought about memories like this. Now Sabine was as old as Ariel was in this memory, but was she as strong as she was here? The Hist started to whisper their thoughts and concepts again, conveying a sort of praise, encouragement, and, strangely enough, a feeling of cleverness. It seemed as if they were at least trying to tell her she was on the right track. It was strange enough to have her thoughts laid bare to them, but she still felt as if she needed confirmation.

Sabine slowly looked up at Meesei's ghostly face and spoke with a slow, curious, yet hopeful tone. "Meesei. Am I strong like Ariel was?"
I'm afraid I'm going to be occupied for a few hours. See you later!
The sap was runnier than Sabine thought it would be. It had a strong smell. As she looked into it, fear shot through her mind. What would happen when she drank the sap down was unknown. She sat herself down to prepare, careful not to spill a single drop. She looked one last time at Thorantilth and the imposing bulbous Hist tree, then to Meesei for reassurance. This was the only way the was going to stop being scared of everything, so it was no use being scared now. She looked into the goblet, then quickly raised it to her lips. It tasted sweet, sickly sweet, but earthy at the same time. In her rush to quaff the sap, drops of it ran down her cheeks, not that she could wipe the spillage off before her eyes rolled back and she fell backwards. It wasn't quite falling asleep, it merely felt as if her consciousness had moved elsewhere from her body.

For what seemed like an eternity, Sabine floated amongst a sea of darkness. There were what sounded like voices that were speaking Jel at first, but even though the words did not make sense, Sabine could understand them. They were flowing through her like thoughts, directly injected into her being. There were questions, scrutiny, curiosity. All manner of thoughts, so varied and diverse that Sabine quickly lost track of them all. One by one, the thoughts started to resonate into one thought, a thought that seemed to materialise into a new world before Sabine's very eyes. Wait, she had eyes again?

There was a new scene in front of Sabine that came into focus as reality seemed to reassemble. There was a stone room she was in. It was familiar. Three other figures stood amongst her, a young Ariel, a witch that Sabine recognised from the coven, and Meesei. Meesei seemed much taller than Sabine remembered, until Sabine realised that it was her that had become shorter. She looked down at her hands. She was in a short black robe. She couldn't have been more than ten years old. This was the coven. She was reliving a memory.

"Look up at me, Sabine, this is very important!" The witch shouted. Sabine's head snapped up to meet her gaze with fear. "The void salts are very hard to come by, I need to know why they were spilled all over the laboratory!"

Sabine paused and tried to collect herself. The memories came back to her with the help of the voices, who still hummed and chimed harmoniously. She remembered, she wanted to experiment with the void salts, but had been caught by a sentinel and tried to rid the evidence by casting the salts onto the floor. Ariel had come along to try and take responsibility, trying to protect her younger sister.

This event didn't seem to have much consequence, did it? What was she meant to do? The last time, Ariel had lied and confessed to being clumsy, taking the blame for Sabine. She often did that. In fact, whenever Sabine did something wrong, Ariel seemed to protect her whenever she could get away with it. Sabine couldn't believe that she had forgotten such acts of kindness.

Sabine wanted time to think, and almost in understanding, the voices of the Hist froze the scene. The voices shared the memories surrounding the events with Meesei, whom Sabine glanced to, wondering.
Alright, so just to confirm, I need to write Sabine as experiencing flashbacks of past events that she regretted not doing differently? I've prepared four of them in advance.

Also, do they need to be in chronological order?
Sure thing
I think you may have mistaken Meesei and Kaleeth's names at the start of you last post :P
Janius looked down, he was afraid that Kaleeth would remain inconclusive about it. "I... had made it clear that it would be a big decision. That she would be leaving her previous life behind." Janius said, deliberately avoiding that his behaviour might have counted as encouragement. "I tried to answer her questions as best as I could, but I encouraged her to speak with the Treeminder, yourself, and her mother about this. Not revealing our nature to them, but the desire to come with us." Janius ran a hand down the side of his face, blinking hard for a moment. "I know it's her decision, but I can't help but feel as though this is my fault. I don't want to upset her by leaving her, but at the same time I don't want to see her upset for leaving her village. I care much for her, and I've tried to help her making a decision without pushing it either way in particular, but it hurts that its all I can do." Janius' face went sullen, "This might be the last day I have with her. Not knowing for certain is what hurts the most."

In an effort to comfort Janius that Sabine had not considered before, she brought herself up and silently hugged him. While having her chin over Janius' shoulder, she observed Kaleeth waking up. She opted to remain silent. Janius accepted the hug, taking what comfort he could, though finding it odd coming from Sabine. When they pulled away, Janius nodded in thanks. "I had hoped that talking to you might have helped her, but..." he exhaled, "...I suppose we'll see."
Sabine had heard shuffling of feet as she dozed half asleep through the early hours. She had opened her eyes for a moment and only found the dim blue light of the early morning. She settled and tried to sleep for another hour or two, but she couldn't get into a deep sleep again. When Meesei woke her up, she didn't have any trouble sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She was silent though, only acknowledging Meesei with a glance. Her jaw was sore from clenching her teeth in her sleep from the stress, so she opened and closed her mouth a few times to try and loosen it. Once again, Meesei had brought them breakfast made up of a greater portion of meats than she was used to. She wasn't sure if she could eat that much, but she made a start.

Fendros and Janius woke up with the sunrise habitually. Fendros gave Ahnasha a good morning kiss while she slept and went to retrieve breakfast for them both. Janius, on the other hand seemed a little troubled. He wished Sabine, Meesei and Fendros a good morning, but when facing away from them his smile lowered into a decidedly unsure look. He took the time to get breakfast for himself and also feed Leaps-On-Elves, who even in a couple of days had grown about an inch in length. At least it was warm enough in its bed not to snuggle up to Janius' face this morning.

Kaleeth was still asleep, but Janius could guess why. He hadn't seen her between this morning and when she went to speak to the Treeminder. She may have been up late talking. Hopefully whatever counsel she was given was useful for her. When she wasn't around, the uncertainty had got to Janius as well. Whether she was staying or joining, Janius preferred to know now so that he wouldn't be left without some sort of closure, but he knew it was her decision. His mind was so split in holding out hope for either outcome that it was making his chest hurt.

To distract himself, Janius sat with Sabine and Meesei to feed Leaps. He had congratulated Sabine on her victory yesterday, happy to see her in a good mood. Now the culmination of her efforts would sum to the ritual today. "So how are you feeling about the ritual, Sabine? Excited?"

Sabine didn't look at Janius directly for a moment, but she answered. "I don't know."

Janius leaned over and patted Sabine on the shoulder. "Ah, you'll be fine. I think you'll be feeling much better by the end of the day. I daresay this probably won't be as scary as you think." Janius of course knew very little about the ritual, but he wanted to show support for Sabine. The ritual was the reason they came to this place anyway.

In response, Sabine's mouth twitched uneasily and she resumed her meal.

Two seconds passed and Janius turned to Meesei, "Did Kaleeth get to talk with you last night? I asked her to see you. I've been been concerned with her."
With an amused look, Janius held Kaleeth against himself with one arm and carefully navigated his way down the branches. He still had to jump across to some other trees in order to find solid ground again, but Janius was careful and went slower than before, mindful of Kaleeth's fear.

"If I spot a big rock or something that might make for a good demonstration, I might show you." Janius responded, placing Kaleeth feet first on the ground and observing her shakes with his eyes. "I think laying down for a bit would be nice though. You look like you could use the time to calm."

Finding somewhere wet was certainly not a difficult task, thanks to the rain. After they found a pond with an tree trunk adjacent to the shore to lean up against, they laid themselves down and Janius closed his eyes. Time seemed to speed up as Janius and Kaleeth relaxed in each others arms. Before they knew it, some hours had passed. By that time, Janius' beast spirit receded on its own due to the calm, which came as a surprise to both of them as he transformed back into Imperial form. However, as much as Kaleeth had enjoyed the warmth of Janius' fur, Janius felt he could be more intimate with Kaleeth when he was closer to her size. It was hard to kiss with a wolf snout after all. After a while they decided to head back to the village while there was still daylight so Kaleeth could get the advice she needed.

Sabine's good mood lasted into the day. After washing herself in the river and taking a nap in the dry common hut, she shared a meal with Tunxeek and the pack. She even managed to sound one of her strange pulsating chuckles at Tunxeek's recount of an incident with a stray alit wandering into the village. It was rare to see her in such a state. Into the the late day, as her energy waned, she eventually became quiet again, but not withdrawn and cringing all the time. The anxiety of the ritual itself was building. With Meesei there to comfort her though, she wasn't debilitated by it.
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