As Janius trained Kaleeth more and more, she began to show traits that he was more familiar with as she opened up again. He doubted she would ever completely heal the scars of being separated from her home and family, but it was beginning to be offset by the permission to love each other freely again. Janius shouldn't have been surprised, but each time he spent time with Kaleeth, he got to know her a little better. He found it funny that he was both in love and still learning about her, but then again, the feeling had come over them very quickly after they met.
With her newfound mental freedom, unfettered by crippling anxiety, Sabine found more and more things to smile at. From new plants to new sights and sounds, she wondered how she could have enjoyed anything simple before. It turned out that she remained rather quiet, but had gained a new assertiveness. She never hesitated much if she needed to ask for anything, and would engage in small conversations as well. Starting conversations was probably not something she knew how to do, let alone attempted intentionally. Her time was spent making remedies for Ahnasha and helping her in other ways where Fendros needed help or was away from camp for whatever reason. She didn't know what exactly to expect with Ahnasha's birth, but she had been taught enough by her adopted witch guardians that it would be an ordeal.
Even as emotional states differed slightly between each member of the pack, tension was high amongst most of them. As time passed, nervousness came less and less from Kaleeth's presence as her training improved her control and she began to engage with the pack. It was replaced by a nervousness about Ahnasha's upcoming labor. In no one was the tension more built up than in Fendros. He tried not to express it too much, but even being near him seemed to make the tension spread to others. He would walk with a sternness in his limbs and spoke as if he had an underlying desire to remain quiet. He began to get a short fuse at times and he knew it. He had even snapped at Sabine at one point for misplacing a dagger, and apologised not an hour afterwards. He helped Ahnasha as he had been for most of the trip, and found some relief in just being with her. Whether he was genuinely being comforted, or just trying to offset Ahnasha's own worry by trying to be comforting, even he couldn't say at this point. Things were coming to a head. Tonight, Masser and Secunda would force the beast forms of them all.
"We have furs ready for swaddling and staunching, I've put together remedies if they're needed..." Fendros came up to Ahnasha and placed a bag down next to her, "...there's water and food available, and extra blankets." Fendros came out of his fussing and looked upon Ahnasha with a worried look that reflected hers. It was incredibly bad timing that the moons should rise full tonight. Ahnasha's waters could break at any moment, and Fendros hated that he would be forced away from her at such a crucial period of time. To miss the birth would be heartbreaking for him, but more importantly he couldn't be guaranteed to protect her. At the times where he had to hunt, his beast spirit didn't seem particularly interested in keeping Ahnasha safe as much as catching prey. He lowered himself down to his knees beside her and one of her hands in both of his. After a few seconds of just squeezing her hand, he spoke. "I wish I could stay lucid for this. This is...I knew the moons would fill eventually, but I..." Fendros pressed his lips together and exhaled quickly through his nose. Knowing that getting more and more worked up about it wasn't going to help, Fendros decided to breath, then leaned up against the tree and wrapped one arm around Ahnasha. "Stay safe, Ahna. However you can, stay safe."
Elsewhere, knowing that it would be Kaleeth's first full moon, Janius approached her with a reassuring smile. "Tonight will be a little chaotic. When the moons are full, werewolves are forced to transform for the night, no matter what. We have the least control during this time." Janius glanced at the sky. He couldn't shake the feeling that this was probably the most dangerous night that any of them had faced for a while. With Kaleeth around for her first full moons, and Ahnasha possibly in harms way, it was a bad combination. Even with the progress Kaleeth had made it didn't sit well, even with Janius. "I don't know about werecrocodiles, but I imagine you will transform as well." He angled his head forward, looked at Kaleeth in the eyes with a serious expression, and put his arms on her shoulders. "Just...hunt for a while in the waterways. remember what I've taught you. You will have the most control when you work with your beast spirit. Also, I cannot stress this hard enough; avoid the pack until morning. Even I couldn't stop my beast spirit tonight if you presented yourself as a threat and the pack decided to fight." Janius concern turned into a smile again, if one that betrayed his own apprehension a little more. "Are you ready, my love?"
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Dear Mr Curly,
I have done little travelling lately because I have been so dreadfully weary. Can it be true as the old Ecclesiastes said; that all things lead to weariness? Surely not. Perhaps the opposite is true: that all nothings lead to weariness. I have a peculiar feeling, Curly, that I am worn out from something I haven't yet done and the more I don't do it, the more exhausted I become. How strange. Could it be something I haven't realised? Perhaps it's something I haven't said? Something I haven't finished! It must be very large and true whatever it is and a lively struggle in the doing but I look forward to it immensely. I know I need it. First, however, I must curl up in my chair and sleep deeply with the duck. Perhaps I'll dream of this thing and wake up refreshed and do it. My fond wishes to you Mr. Curly, and to all Curly Flat.
Yours sleepily,
Vasco Pyjama
xxx
P.S. Not having breakfast can make you weary. That's for sure!
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I got nothing either. Go ahead.
It all added up as Janius heard it. For as long as Kaleeth had been withdrawn and angry, Janius thought that he had driven her away, but now things seem to have turned out for the better. To hear that, all along, Kaleeth had continued to be in love with him as he was in love with her was something that gave him an overwhelming relief of his own sadness.
Janius didn't resist Kaleeth pinning him. He merely placed a finger on her mouth to quieten her, pushed his head forward and across towards her ear, and whispered in Jel. "It would be my pleasure."
Before long, Kaleeth and Janius needed to head back to camp. The rain started bearing down harder and the water levels were starting to rise around them. Even with the weather, they both arrived back with slightly brighter expressions. Leaps came running up to them, and Janius squat down to grin and scratch him under the chin.
The rest of the pack seemed to be managing themselves as best as they could in the rain. Although, it was difficult to get used to. The first thing that Janius decided to do was to approach Meesei with Kaleeth in tow. "Kaleeth did quite well today, Meesei. I took her on a hunt. She managed to catch a dreugh in the river. I think she's less of a land hunter, or even a pack hunter in that regard, but she's capable. After that, we did a control exercise, which she seemed to do fairly well with. There's of course still practice to be had, but she's made good progress. In any case, I think we can breathe easy for a few days at least." Upon finishing, Janius glanced back to Kaleeth with a smile that was equal parts pride and affection. Without Janius noticing it, his behaviour was far more upbeat than earlier that day. Without the context of the other outcome of their training, their demeanour was in stark contrast to how they left. It turned both Fendros and Sabine's head in curiosity.
Janius didn't resist Kaleeth pinning him. He merely placed a finger on her mouth to quieten her, pushed his head forward and across towards her ear, and whispered in Jel. "It would be my pleasure."
Before long, Kaleeth and Janius needed to head back to camp. The rain started bearing down harder and the water levels were starting to rise around them. Even with the weather, they both arrived back with slightly brighter expressions. Leaps came running up to them, and Janius squat down to grin and scratch him under the chin.
The rest of the pack seemed to be managing themselves as best as they could in the rain. Although, it was difficult to get used to. The first thing that Janius decided to do was to approach Meesei with Kaleeth in tow. "Kaleeth did quite well today, Meesei. I took her on a hunt. She managed to catch a dreugh in the river. I think she's less of a land hunter, or even a pack hunter in that regard, but she's capable. After that, we did a control exercise, which she seemed to do fairly well with. There's of course still practice to be had, but she's made good progress. In any case, I think we can breathe easy for a few days at least." Upon finishing, Janius glanced back to Kaleeth with a smile that was equal parts pride and affection. Without Janius noticing it, his behaviour was far more upbeat than earlier that day. Without the context of the other outcome of their training, their demeanour was in stark contrast to how they left. It turned both Fendros and Sabine's head in curiosity.
In the silence that followed, Janius didn't know whether his words had any impact. Kaleeth was looking at him curiously and it took a while to return her gaze. Otherwise, her inaction started to make Janius think that they should probably head back to camp. He was just about to sit up when Kaleeth embraced him. He tensed in surprise at first, but quickly relaxed and wrapped his own arms around her, accepting her kiss. In that moment, things seemed like an impossible dream. For all the dark clouds that hung over the both of them in their conversation, the atmosphere had suddenly taken a turn for uncaring passion.
When there was finally a pause in it all, Janius looked into Kaleeth's eyes and was at a complete loss for words. There wasn't really anything to say, though. His mouth just formed a heartfelt smile, devoid of any rakish undertone. As soon as any trace of his wits returned, he realised just how impossible the moment should have been. Words came slowly, but mostly in a surprised tone, "I thought...you hated me."
When there was finally a pause in it all, Janius looked into Kaleeth's eyes and was at a complete loss for words. There wasn't really anything to say, though. His mouth just formed a heartfelt smile, devoid of any rakish undertone. As soon as any trace of his wits returned, he realised just how impossible the moment should have been. Words came slowly, but mostly in a surprised tone, "I thought...you hated me."
So, should we have Kaleeth and Janius talk some more before heading back to the camp, or just have them make out then skip to camp?
Janius didn't really know what to make of it at first. She wanted to care again. Was it that being mad at him was making her unhappy? Janius could see that, he supposed. He remembered how much it brought him down to hold resentment towards the pack when he was turned. Though, Kaleeth had far more value placed in her former life. It clicked that Kaleeth may have been through such dark times before, and this kind of depression was just not who she was.
"...I understand." Janius said finally, though he didn't quite know how else to respond. After a pause he turned to look at Kaleeth and just said what came to mind. "Kaleeth, I know that some of us are nervous around you, and there are pack instincts missing with you, but that doesn't mean we can't be there if you need help." He looked away again. "I've seen how you have been distant these past few days. Even if you don't like being with us, just know that we care about you. I still care about you." Janius swallowed as he though of his own memories, drawing parallels to Kaleeth's situation, "I remember a going through what you are right now. What brought me out of it was...well, not what I had left behind, but what I had gained. I had to search for it. It might not be the same thing you have to look for, and I don't expect it will be immediately obvious, but...I think you will find ways to care again."
"...I understand." Janius said finally, though he didn't quite know how else to respond. After a pause he turned to look at Kaleeth and just said what came to mind. "Kaleeth, I know that some of us are nervous around you, and there are pack instincts missing with you, but that doesn't mean we can't be there if you need help." He looked away again. "I've seen how you have been distant these past few days. Even if you don't like being with us, just know that we care about you. I still care about you." Janius swallowed as he though of his own memories, drawing parallels to Kaleeth's situation, "I remember a going through what you are right now. What brought me out of it was...well, not what I had left behind, but what I had gained. I had to search for it. It might not be the same thing you have to look for, and I don't expect it will be immediately obvious, but...I think you will find ways to care again."
Janius thought for a moment on how to respond. It took a few seconds of looking up at the clouds and blinking every so often at the misty rain for him to form any words. "Kaleeth, I deserve your anger. Every bit of it." He turned his eyes down in an ashamed expression of his own, "I was stupid and selfish. I didn't deserve your love. Why on Nirn do you not want to be mad at me?" Janius' tone was rather defeated. Ever since Kaleeth had mentioned her wish to never have met him, Janius had accepted that he was not going to receive any more love from her. This was why Kaleeth's words now just perpetuated the pain.
Angling his head to console Kaleeth, Janius nodded and reasserted what he had said throughout. "Control comes from practice, Kaleeth. We were all like this in the beginning. None of us had complete control." Janius brought his hand around and supported Kaleeth's chin with the side of his hand, "But you performed amazingly today. You demonstrated that you could control it, and however fearful of it you are, that is an important step to take."
Janius turned his head to one side to catch a glimpse at the river again, then his eyes found Kaleeth's once more. "I think the fact that I'm still alive is evidence of that. Hm, you did quite the opposite of hurting me." He turned his eyes to the ground, though he still smiled. Janius didn't mind being where he was at the moment. Being against Kaleeth again brought back nice feelings for once in what felt like an eternity. However, his own guilt kept him from being any more affectionate at this stage, especially with the fear still written on Kaleeth's face...but she wasn't standing up off him in any hurry. "We could...head back to camp if you like," Janius said in a tone that was a little unsure.
Janius turned his head to one side to catch a glimpse at the river again, then his eyes found Kaleeth's once more. "I think the fact that I'm still alive is evidence of that. Hm, you did quite the opposite of hurting me." He turned his eyes to the ground, though he still smiled. Janius didn't mind being where he was at the moment. Being against Kaleeth again brought back nice feelings for once in what felt like an eternity. However, his own guilt kept him from being any more affectionate at this stage, especially with the fear still written on Kaleeth's face...but she wasn't standing up off him in any hurry. "We could...head back to camp if you like," Janius said in a tone that was a little unsure.
In the struggle against the river, Janius didn't even notice Kaleeth's mouth opening towards him. He only flailed and held his breath, trying to find the surface. When Kaleeth grabbed him, even though his beast spirit tried to wriggle free and instinctively find something to bite to get this new assailant off him, he was in no position to resist. Right before he felt the cold of the air again, he blacked out momentarily.
Kaleeth falling onto Janius brought him back to consciousness with a series of coughs, the first of which brought forth a trickle of water from his mouth. When Kaleeth finally transformed back to Argonian form, Janius took a wheezing breath back in and coughed further. Weakened of body, Janius started to shift back into Imperial form. Once he did, he opened his eyes to see Kaleeth's Argonian face and smiled knowingly as he caught his breath. "I knew you could do it," Janius said to her, bringing one arm around her, "how are you feeling now?"
Despite it being a near-death experience, Janius was unapologetic in making it sound like he had planned it all along.
Kaleeth falling onto Janius brought him back to consciousness with a series of coughs, the first of which brought forth a trickle of water from his mouth. When Kaleeth finally transformed back to Argonian form, Janius took a wheezing breath back in and coughed further. Weakened of body, Janius started to shift back into Imperial form. Once he did, he opened his eyes to see Kaleeth's Argonian face and smiled knowingly as he caught his breath. "I knew you could do it," Janius said to her, bringing one arm around her, "how are you feeling now?"
Despite it being a near-death experience, Janius was unapologetic in making it sound like he had planned it all along.
Janius held on as tightly as he could as Kaleeth slammed into the tree over and over again. He hadn't expected Kaleeth to come up with this solution. He didn't even know that the tree could move like it was. Nevertheless, Kaleeth was demonstrating that she was capable of bringing her own reasoning into the mind of her beast spirit, even in frustrating circumstances.
The swaying of the tree got to the point where each change in motion was either slamming Janius into the trunk, or causing his grip to loosen a little further. He considered letting go at the right moment until he realised his mistake. The only way down was either on top of Kaleeth, or into the river. His expression quickly took a turn for the concerned as he was pushed in Kaleeth's direction and pulled back, barely hanging on. He decided that he would just have to trust landing on top of her in the next opportunity, he thought. He might be able to scramble away quickly enough. Unfortunately, in one last effort to hold onto the tree trunk over the river, Janius only found purchase in some moss that quickly slid away from his claws and sent him tumbling into the water.
Janius hit the river with a large splash and tried as quickly as he could to reorient and swim for the shore, but the current was already pulling him. He pushed frantically against the water to no avail. He was able to surface to get one glimpse at Kaleeth to communicate the fear in his eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen.
The swaying of the tree got to the point where each change in motion was either slamming Janius into the trunk, or causing his grip to loosen a little further. He considered letting go at the right moment until he realised his mistake. The only way down was either on top of Kaleeth, or into the river. His expression quickly took a turn for the concerned as he was pushed in Kaleeth's direction and pulled back, barely hanging on. He decided that he would just have to trust landing on top of her in the next opportunity, he thought. He might be able to scramble away quickly enough. Unfortunately, in one last effort to hold onto the tree trunk over the river, Janius only found purchase in some moss that quickly slid away from his claws and sent him tumbling into the water.
Janius hit the river with a large splash and tried as quickly as he could to reorient and swim for the shore, but the current was already pulling him. He pushed frantically against the water to no avail. He was able to surface to get one glimpse at Kaleeth to communicate the fear in his eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen.
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