Muttonhawk Member
Let Slip the Corgis of War
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Bio
Dear Mr Curly,
I have done little travelling lately because I have been so dreadfully weary. Can it be true as the old Ecclesiastes said; that all things lead to weariness? Surely not. Perhaps the opposite is true: that all nothings lead to weariness. I have a peculiar feeling, Curly, that I am worn out from something I haven't yet done and the more I don't do it, the more exhausted I become. How strange. Could it be something I haven't realised? Perhaps it's something I haven't said? Something I haven't finished! It must be very large and true whatever it is and a lively struggle in the doing but I look forward to it immensely. I know I need it. First, however, I must curl up in my chair and sleep deeply with the duck. Perhaps I'll dream of this thing and wake up refreshed and do it. My fond wishes to you Mr. Curly, and to all Curly Flat.
Yours sleepily,
Vasco Pyjama
xxx
P.S. Not having breakfast can make you weary. That's for sure!
Most Recent Posts
The weeks passed and the boredom upon the ship soon became nigh unbearable.
When he wasn't enjoying time alone with Kaleeth, Janius tried to find some friends aboard the ship. He quickly found that his identity amongst the crew closely revolved around being partnered with an Argonian. Under normal circumstances, he didn't find the concept strange, but the way everyone talked about it made him feel so unnatural that it was like he was a freshly turned werewolf again. Between that and the advances that the Argonian males made towards Kaleeth, his social interactions seemed to be tense, especially with very little to do. It was most uncharacteristic for the normally confident and charismatic Janius.
Most of Sabine's time on the ship was, for the first time in her life that she could think of, memorably boring. All but the kindest hearts on board learned to avoid encouraging her questions, if only to avoid torrents more of them spilling forth. Soon, she was shooed off by just about any crew member, claiming that they were busy, or sleepy, or just didn't want to deal with her. Some were rather rude when Sabine attempted to talk to them before they went for naps. She was especially glad to have Kaleeth to talk to. With the both of them so curious about the world, they could swap details about their lives for hours.
Being parents, Fendros and Ahnasha had far less free time, but still more than they knew what to do with. Orskan's tome dominated much of their headspace behind Rhazii, and frankly it was more comfortable than talking about their torture. As hard as Fendros tried to think, he couldn't understand how to solve the problem without his mind getting flooded with anxiety. He had noticed that recounting the memories seemed to be less painful than before he had mentioned the story out loud, but it wasn't nearly enough to stop the pain entirely. He did find that meditating gave him a surprising amount of relief for such a simple activity it was. Fendros surmised that there might be someone in the Imperial City who knew more about wounds of the mind than he and Ahnasha did.
The stop over at Leyawiin had been a great relief for most of the pack. Everyone was glad to be back on land and most were glad to be out of the choking humidity. The break made the rest of the voyage slightly more bearable. Fendros was understanding, but still worried about Ahnasha at Leyawiin. As such, he didn't spend as much time off the ship. However, nothing much he could say really helped.
Another issue at the back of their heads when they reached Leyawiin was their dwindling supply of dream remedy that Ariel had given them. They were down to their second and last bottle, which only had about a third of its original contents. Leyawiin had some of the ingredients, but Sabine could not locate them all. Out of concern for Ahnasha, Fendros decided to reduce his dosage to once every four days. The nightmares came back in earnest, but the relief every few days was blessed.
The pack awoke to Nirasi's shouts, some with more enthusiasm than others. Fendros had taken some remedy the night before, so was disappointed to have his sleep interrupted, but his energy soon came to him. Janius came around normally, but wore a smile of eagerness to see the city again.
"We've arrived?" Sabine seemed to spring out of her hammock as if she hadn't been sleeping at all. "We've arrived!" She repeated, enthusiastically smiling.
Hey Leon! Welcome back.
Up until it was time for lunch, Fendros and Ahnasha decided to alternate time between playing with Rhazii and studying Orskan's tome. Compared to their memories, the problem of their differing life spans seemed almost miniscule, but still enough to motivate them. Rhazii's laughter was of course very effective at improving their moods as well. Fendros didn't particularly percieve any improvement from recount his memories, but he held out hope that it might help him understand his condition. If anything, it helped to reorganise the memories in his mind to be more coherant, rather than a series of images that didn't seem to regard chronological order. That didn't feel like an improvement, though.
Sabine and Kaleeth continued to talk the morning away, finding their newfound curiosity about the world to be mutual. After a short while, Janius found them and asked what they were doing. He seemed confused to see Sabine interacting with Kaleeth much at all. Sabine simply answered, "Just talking." By the end of it, Sabine felt much more comfortable with Kaleeth, and Kaleeth perhaps felt a bit more like a part of the pack. That's what Sabine hoped, anyway.
Fendros continued to anxiously stare at the space in front of him while he calmed himself, but nodded at Ahnasha's words. "I understand. I'm...I'm sorry to put you through that, it was a stupid idea." Fendros stood up and emptied out the bucket he had filled overboard, then picked up Rhazii's cloth to find a place for it to dry. Even though he had done some breathing to slow his heartbeat, his dexterity left something to comparatively be desired. "Perhaps if we keep thinking, we'll find something else to try," Fendros said with false hope in his voice.
"Yes, the dresses are hard to run in. Or climb things in, or anything really. I have worn a pretty dress, though. I think that's why people wear them. I don't normally try to make myself look pretty, but being in that dress felt...it felt nice." Sabine put her hands together, "Maybe it's like hair. Imperial women don't seem to mind wearing annoying clothes and pulling at their hair to look pretty. Maybe if you make yourself look really pretty, it's even nicer? It seems like a lot of trouble."
"Yes, the dresses are hard to run in. Or climb things in, or anything really. I have worn a pretty dress, though. I think that's why people wear them. I don't normally try to make myself look pretty, but being in that dress felt...it felt nice." Sabine put her hands together, "Maybe it's like hair. Imperial women don't seem to mind wearing annoying clothes and pulling at their hair to look pretty. Maybe if you make yourself look really pretty, it's even nicer? It seems like a lot of trouble."
Shiva kept up her suppressing fire for as long as it took for the gunship to fly by. The glowing torpedo flying past was her signal to take cover before everything was either bright blue or shadowy black for a silent second. After that, the radio came through confirming the success of the sweep. "Oh, thank Shen!" Shiva said without any irony in her voice. She was still breathing heavily and less than comfortable with floating on an unsecured chunk of metal. Even with Rareth around for telekinesis.
As the ship came by, Shiva reached for it very cautiously, almost tearing her arm off as she forgot to disengage her magnetised boots after getting a secure grip. Once she found handholds, she slammed her boots against the hull and re-engaged them. Only then did she exhale steadily.
Now all that was left was for Rareth and the others to secure themselves. Shiva held out a hand for any who needed it. "Come on! let's go before I throw up in my helmet!" Shiva said frantically.
As the ship came by, Shiva reached for it very cautiously, almost tearing her arm off as she forgot to disengage her magnetised boots after getting a secure grip. Once she found handholds, she slammed her boots against the hull and re-engaged them. Only then did she exhale steadily.
Now all that was left was for Rareth and the others to secure themselves. Shiva held out a hand for any who needed it. "Come on! let's go before I throw up in my helmet!" Shiva said frantically.
Ahnasha and Fendros sat in their mutual silence for some time. The only sounds was the creaking of the ship, footsteps on the wood above them, and the lapping of the water outside. Fendros was wracked with guild, fear and anxiety and barely managed to progress from holding his hands against his head, to looking up more and holding his hands over his mouth and nose, exposing his tears. His hands were shaking such that it didn't look like it would ever stop. Not only that, but his breathing was still strained. In his mind, Ahnasha was right, reliving the memories was a bad idea. Now he felt worse than he had before even entering Thorn.
After wallowing in the mental struggle for long enough, Fendros knew he had to do something to stop this shaking. He was panicked, adrenaline filled, and utterly shaken. He latched onto anything that could help, and he came across the idea of trying to meditate, like Meesei had taught him ages ago. If it could calm his beast spirit, maybe it could calm him. It was extremely difficult at first, closing his eyes and concentrating on his breathing ran the risk of seeing the affecting images flash over his minds eye. He kept at it, though, concentrating on his breathing and taking slow, considered, albeit shivering breaths. He slowly felt like his breathing was steadying, but he felt as though he would need several minutes before he was lucid again. He didn't know whether Ahnasha would start with her recount, stay silent, join in, or simply walk away. Her judging silence was not something that Fendros wanted to concentrate on now.
The initial anxieties seemed to lift from Sabine's frame as she carefully climbed into the hammock with a smile. Kaleeth was right, keeping balance was difficult and it was a tight fit. Sabine and Kaleeth lay shoulder to shoulder then and Sabine began to relax. For all her talk of trying to be a sister to Kaleeth back when she was going through hard times, Sabine couldn't say that she felt this familiar with Kaleeth back then. "So what do you find about Imperial culture that is strangest?" Sabine asked, continuing their conversation.
Janius remained confused, looking to the Argonian walking away, then to Meesei, then to the Argonian again. A smile started to spread across his face as he began to join the dots. All of a sudden, he stifled a laugh, "Wait, you think I...?" his stifled laughter was let loose as he threw his head back. Leaps had to steady himself by grabbing onto Janius' shoulder. "I think you give me too much credit, Meesei. None of that was my doing, I've never even talked to that man." He began to recover from his laughter, "I think you just legitimately attracted another, that sounds flattering enough, no?" Still chuckling under his breath at the coincidence, Janius began to walk away shaking his head.
After wallowing in the mental struggle for long enough, Fendros knew he had to do something to stop this shaking. He was panicked, adrenaline filled, and utterly shaken. He latched onto anything that could help, and he came across the idea of trying to meditate, like Meesei had taught him ages ago. If it could calm his beast spirit, maybe it could calm him. It was extremely difficult at first, closing his eyes and concentrating on his breathing ran the risk of seeing the affecting images flash over his minds eye. He kept at it, though, concentrating on his breathing and taking slow, considered, albeit shivering breaths. He slowly felt like his breathing was steadying, but he felt as though he would need several minutes before he was lucid again. He didn't know whether Ahnasha would start with her recount, stay silent, join in, or simply walk away. Her judging silence was not something that Fendros wanted to concentrate on now.
The initial anxieties seemed to lift from Sabine's frame as she carefully climbed into the hammock with a smile. Kaleeth was right, keeping balance was difficult and it was a tight fit. Sabine and Kaleeth lay shoulder to shoulder then and Sabine began to relax. For all her talk of trying to be a sister to Kaleeth back when she was going through hard times, Sabine couldn't say that she felt this familiar with Kaleeth back then. "So what do you find about Imperial culture that is strangest?" Sabine asked, continuing their conversation.
Janius remained confused, looking to the Argonian walking away, then to Meesei, then to the Argonian again. A smile started to spread across his face as he began to join the dots. All of a sudden, he stifled a laugh, "Wait, you think I...?" his stifled laughter was let loose as he threw his head back. Leaps had to steady himself by grabbing onto Janius' shoulder. "I think you give me too much credit, Meesei. None of that was my doing, I've never even talked to that man." He began to recover from his laughter, "I think you just legitimately attracted another, that sounds flattering enough, no?" Still chuckling under his breath at the coincidence, Janius began to walk away shaking his head.
Should I post, or wait for Balmung?
"Yes," Fendros nodded briskly and wiped his eyes dry, taking another breath to speak. "He turned to me and threatened you, asking me about the layout of the cult's xanmeer. I don't know exactly what I said, but I knew I had to protect Rhazii, like we agreed. I know that I didn't tell him then. He had you put onto the table, I still didn't tell him anything. He began to...cut you, and I didn't know why at first. I couldn't have imagined what he intended to do at that point, but I could see you pain, and I could hardly bear it. He asked me why we were helping the cult, and I thought that telling him about Rhazii might stop his torture." Fendros slowly shook his head, "He spoke like he cared, but he didn't. He offered to rescue Rhazii during his bloody attack, but he was a liar, I could see that much. I told him as much. I wish I hadn't. I sometimes wonder if he would have been true to his word if I had agreed, then he might not have..." Fendros' face tightened up completely. A tear fell to the floor as the worst image of all came to the forefront of his mind. "He...might not have..." Fendros knew that he had to stick through his recollection, though as much as he tried, he couldn't hold his emotions back. "...have opened you. I could see your...lungs under your ribs, your heart, your intestines. But, the worst part was that you could see it and I could see your pain. I tried to stay strong to protect Rhazii, but I should have ended it there. Once he was done, I could see all of your pain in my mind, and at the same time I wanted to protect Rhazii. All the panic made my beast spirit come to the front of my mind. I knew he would kill you if I turned, so answering him was all I could do to stop it. It still put Rhazii in danger, and he paid the price for my weakness as well." Fendros' breathing was shallow and strained at this point. He held his head supported in his hands, still facing the floor where tears would occasionally fall. "I'm sorry, Ahnasha. I'm so sorry. I should have been stronger."
"I don't think will be very different from cities in Black Marsh, I don't think you need to worry." Sabine breathed a chuckle, "Sometimes I think that Imperials find Imperial traditions strange. Some of them don't make sense to me as well." Sabine shuffled awkwardly on the spot nearby Kaleeth's hammock. It seemed strange to be standing over her like this. "Can I...get in the hammock as well?" Sabine asked quietly. She still saw Kaleeth as a sister, so she saw no harm in it, but she didn't know how Kaleeth would react. Over the past couple of months, Sabine had found it comforting to be close to Meesei, Ahnasha, Lorag, and sometimes even Fendros and Janius when they didn't mind. She didn't harbour anything more than familiar feelings for them, and they all knew that. Compared to other pack members, however, Sabine wasn't really physically intimate with Kaleeth in the same way.
Drinks still kept his eyes wistfully looking to Meesei as he listened. He was already brewing up a response, something along the lines of seeing his fair share of danger as a sailor (to varying degrees of truth) and displaying a willingness to face the danger to be with Meesei, but the mention of the eavesdropping group made his expression drop into horrified surprise almost immediately. He had a double take between Meesei and the deck and eventually found the group listening in, and his turn of tone was so stark that it was almost comical. "They? Who?" He pushed off the railing and took a couple of angry steps towards the group, "Hey, bugger off, the lot of you! You're ruining this!" Drinks took one last desperate look back towards Meesei and then his shoulders slumped, knowing that it was ruined anyway. "Bah!" He waved a hand dismissively, "Suit yourself." With that, he put his hands in his pockets and walked back towards the group in shame, the group now erupting in laughter at his blunder.
Janius held Leaps in his arms and was about to go below deck before he noticed the tail end of the incident with Meesei. He approached Meesei with a confused expression. "What was that all about?" He asked, not sure whether he should be laughing as well.
"I don't think will be very different from cities in Black Marsh, I don't think you need to worry." Sabine breathed a chuckle, "Sometimes I think that Imperials find Imperial traditions strange. Some of them don't make sense to me as well." Sabine shuffled awkwardly on the spot nearby Kaleeth's hammock. It seemed strange to be standing over her like this. "Can I...get in the hammock as well?" Sabine asked quietly. She still saw Kaleeth as a sister, so she saw no harm in it, but she didn't know how Kaleeth would react. Over the past couple of months, Sabine had found it comforting to be close to Meesei, Ahnasha, Lorag, and sometimes even Fendros and Janius when they didn't mind. She didn't harbour anything more than familiar feelings for them, and they all knew that. Compared to other pack members, however, Sabine wasn't really physically intimate with Kaleeth in the same way.
Drinks still kept his eyes wistfully looking to Meesei as he listened. He was already brewing up a response, something along the lines of seeing his fair share of danger as a sailor (to varying degrees of truth) and displaying a willingness to face the danger to be with Meesei, but the mention of the eavesdropping group made his expression drop into horrified surprise almost immediately. He had a double take between Meesei and the deck and eventually found the group listening in, and his turn of tone was so stark that it was almost comical. "They? Who?" He pushed off the railing and took a couple of angry steps towards the group, "Hey, bugger off, the lot of you! You're ruining this!" Drinks took one last desperate look back towards Meesei and then his shoulders slumped, knowing that it was ruined anyway. "Bah!" He waved a hand dismissively, "Suit yourself." With that, he put his hands in his pockets and walked back towards the group in shame, the group now erupting in laughter at his blunder.
Janius held Leaps in his arms and was about to go below deck before he noticed the tail end of the incident with Meesei. He approached Meesei with a confused expression. "What was that all about?" He asked, not sure whether he should be laughing as well.
It's cool. G'night!
"Okay, right," Fendros wrung out the water from Rhazii's cloth, then put it aside for the moment. He would empty the bucket and leave the cloth to dry shortly. For now, he slowly found a place to sit and leaned forward. He took a moment of reluctance, wondering if the pain would really be worth it, but he reminded himself that they didn't really have anything else. "I remember waking up in the dark room facing you. We were chained upright. There was a table, or did that come later?" Fendros rubbed the side of his head, trying to stay calm and composed. He remembered vividly what happened, but for some reason the order of events was harder to recall than the events themselves. "That Argonian walked in shortly after we woke up, he had dark scales and fine clothing. We agreed to protect Rhazii and not give anything away that would endanger him." Fendros took a deep, uneasy breath, "He started by asking about the layout. I wasn't scared at first, I think you spat on his face, but then...that's...I saw the knife, and then it was in your throat. I was terrified then, I thought you were going to die. You couldn't talk. He kept hitting you...it was the healers that stopped him..." Fendros buried his face in his hands, he needed a quick moment to stem his tears. The facts were not the same as his nightmares, in fact they weren't as bad, but the pain and fear was still there.
Sabine aimlessly wandered until she and Kaleeth slowed to a stop amongst the hammocks. Sabine supposed that this was as good a place to talk as any. Sabine then put a finger to her mouth to list off the races she knew, "There's Bretons, like me and Ariel; Imperials, like Janius...um," Sabine decided to skip the races that made up the pack, as Kaleeth already knew them, "The ones that you might not have seen are High Elves, they're like Fendros, but tall and with yellow skin; Bosmer, Wood Elves, they're short and have long ears; Redguard, they're like other humans, except with mostly dark brown skin; um, there's Nords, they're big humans that live in the cold. I think there are a few on this ship." Sabine squinted to think of any others, but of all she had seen in Tamriel, that was it. "That's all, I think. There's a member of each of the other races in the pack already." Sabine covered her mouth nervously once she realised that she mentioned the pack, but if anyone was listening, hopefully they wouldn't know what they were talking about.
Unfortunately for Meesei, Drinks was more persistent than her manners would probably allow. "Ah, but no one on this ship is as radiant as you, my flower." He held his arm forward slightly dramatically, "I beseech you to spare my heart! All I ask is for one night in your presence!" He leaned closer and lowered his voice, "No one else need know, if that is your concern. There few enough on this ship that know Jel, and all are out of earshot." It was quickly becoming clear that Drinks' intention was not a long term one, but he was of course oblivious to the real reason for his rejection.
The one translating the conversation nearby received a comment from a sailor listening in. "Well, he's good at dodging the possibility that she might have another man without saying so." Another sailor added a murmur as well, "He must have practised on himself regarding his own homely commitments." That elicited a chuckle from the crew gathered. Normally the words would be completely inaudible to Meesei, but they had not bargained on her lycan ears.
Sabine aimlessly wandered until she and Kaleeth slowed to a stop amongst the hammocks. Sabine supposed that this was as good a place to talk as any. Sabine then put a finger to her mouth to list off the races she knew, "There's Bretons, like me and Ariel; Imperials, like Janius...um," Sabine decided to skip the races that made up the pack, as Kaleeth already knew them, "The ones that you might not have seen are High Elves, they're like Fendros, but tall and with yellow skin; Bosmer, Wood Elves, they're short and have long ears; Redguard, they're like other humans, except with mostly dark brown skin; um, there's Nords, they're big humans that live in the cold. I think there are a few on this ship." Sabine squinted to think of any others, but of all she had seen in Tamriel, that was it. "That's all, I think. There's a member of each of the other races in the pack already." Sabine covered her mouth nervously once she realised that she mentioned the pack, but if anyone was listening, hopefully they wouldn't know what they were talking about.
Unfortunately for Meesei, Drinks was more persistent than her manners would probably allow. "Ah, but no one on this ship is as radiant as you, my flower." He held his arm forward slightly dramatically, "I beseech you to spare my heart! All I ask is for one night in your presence!" He leaned closer and lowered his voice, "No one else need know, if that is your concern. There few enough on this ship that know Jel, and all are out of earshot." It was quickly becoming clear that Drinks' intention was not a long term one, but he was of course oblivious to the real reason for his rejection.
The one translating the conversation nearby received a comment from a sailor listening in. "Well, he's good at dodging the possibility that she might have another man without saying so." Another sailor added a murmur as well, "He must have practised on himself regarding his own homely commitments." That elicited a chuckle from the crew gathered. Normally the words would be completely inaudible to Meesei, but they had not bargained on her lycan ears.
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