Muttonhawk

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Lunise gave as much time as Meesei needed to think. She remained holding onto her hand the entire time. All the while, she made an effort not to show her own sorrow at Meesei's state.

When Meesei stood up, Lunise returned the hug gently. "I understand, dear. I am afraid as well, but I am also hopeful. Convincing you of that has convinced myself." She kissed the top of Meesei's head. "We both have matters to ponder, I believe. This time will be valuable."

Lunise brought a hand around to lift Meesei's chin to look at her. Lunise was smiling encouragingly. "What would you like to do now? I feel driving you to further panic today may not be helpful, let alone necessary."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Lunise knew what she wanted to say before Meesei had finished. She tilted her head to one side. "Mother also told me something else, as it happens. 'Fate is a lie,' she said." Lunise took a deeper breath. "Her position puts weight to those words. And while there is little doubt of the unique and difficult nature of this, to say it is impossible begs the question of what you are assuming."

Meesei's hand was wrapped fully in Lunise's as she continued. "You are assuming that you were made for the purpose of collapsing upon death. You do not know that. The Hist may have even made you with the knowledge that you could solve this problem. You are assuming that this theory of the Psijics is as good as fact. No one knows that -- it is a guess based on incomplete information. You are assuming that you are not surrounded by incredibly talented people both here and on Tamriel that can and will help you."

Just as Lunise was about to remind Meesei of her family again, she stopped, closed her mouth, and furrowed her brow. "Meesei, are you absolutely certain that you cannot face a new problem?" She raised a finger and pressed it, crooked, against her lips. A new energy entered her voice. "I know of one problem you solved that could never have been a part of some Hist-carried late Argonian soul. Indeed, all lycan souls go to the Hunting Grounds. It follows, then, that a lycan mage who learnt to channel magic whilst in a transformed state would not have returned to the Hist upon their demise." She sat up straight, tall over where Meesei sat. "Meesei, I think it reasonable for you to assume full credit for that particular impossibility. And do not dare to assume that feat means nothing. I would not resort to violence against you, but know that I would consider my position carefully in the pursuit of slapping that falsehood out of your mind."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Try as she might, Lunise could not hold back showing deep pain from Meesei's self-judgement. She had never seen her so vulnerable. Thankfully, Lunise was still the one with the clearer head. She reached and picked up one of Meesei's hands, turning it palm up in her fingers in front of her and running small, slow circles on it with her thumbs.

"I do not agree that you deserve to disappear like that," Lunise said. "I feel I can say that with more qualification than most, if not all. You have driven yourself to the brink of death on a number of occasions for your cause. You have faced challenges that you knew well might have been beyond your capabilities, natural talents or no. It is unfair on yourself to claim practice and determination played no significant role in your achievements. To sacrifice as much as you have was a choice that none forced you to make, least of all the Hist."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

At first, Lunise flinched at Meesei's more violent movements. But then she settled into a relaxed and controlled posture.

"Meesei, there is a truth -- two truths -- here that for you are overdue to learn," Lunise said calmly and firmly. "They are difficult to learn from a position of high aptitude and success, and for your age, for you have fewer mistakes to reflect upon. However, they are ever present. The first is that not all mortals are born with equal talents. There maybe talents that are not given opportunities to flourish, but it remains that a senche-raht Khajiit will never be able to speak like a suthay, and a suthay will never be as strong as a senche-raht. They had no more control over those parts of themselves than you did your soul. But the suthay never feels they do not deserve to speak any more than the senche-raht believes they do not deserve their strength."

Lunise twisted to sit on the desk beside Meesei. Her voice took a kinder tone. "The reason why is the second truth. A truth that too many Altmer fail to grasp. That second truth is that all souls have value, even yours. You cannot separate the templates from who you are. It is all one being. You would not be Meesei otherwise, and you are no less to me than you were before."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Lunise's hands fell onto her legs and then slid to her sides. Her face was frozen, looking at Meesei with her mix of sadness and frustration made into a static frame. She might have predicted Meesei's reaction perfectly had she given it thought. No amount of thought could reduce the shock.

When Lunise remembered to breathe, she stood herself up onto her feet, looking down and around nervously. There was nothing do to but walk up to Meesei in a few quite strides and place a hand on her shoulder.

Lunise's next words came from a certain memory of both of them switched places, filtered through Lunise's own elocution, as level and earnest as she could make it. "Meesei. You know that I know what it is to be loyal. I am aware this may strike as an obvious question, but...how are you feeling about all of this?"

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

"Meesei, whatever pieces make up your soul is still you. But that is irrelevant right now." Lunise looked up at her, exasperated. "Do you not understand? If the theory is to be true, your soul is unstable." She shook her head lightly. "Now, mother tried to persuade me to lead you into joining the Psijic order...to work with their resources to study your soul and find a way to fix this." Lunise held out her splayed hands in frustration. "But I could never convince you to leave everything you know just for that! And beside that conclusion, I understand your family includes some very talented people. People that could help confirm or falsify this theory. Missus Ahnasha comes to mind, specifically."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Lunise mustered the courage to explain. "Mother mentioned there was a theory about you. While there is no confirming it, to my knowledge, she detailed a theory that your soul was crafted more especially by the Hist for your task against Vile. It is probable that this involved imbuing your soul with patterns -- templates was the word she used -- that would assist you to quickly reestablish memories from past ancient Argonian souls. Given your prodigal affinity for old and complex magic, compounded with your presence and talent for leadership amongst your people, such a theory would do much to explain your proclivities."

The next part was harder to say. "Mother warned me that a mortal soul constructed in such a way is volatile. Your body holds it together for now, but upon death...you may not experience any afterlife whole."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

"No, no, I cannot keep this to myself with the invasion so close," Lunise said. "It is another matter, Meesei. Something mother told me while she and I spoke privately. It's important. It is about you."

Lunise slid away from Meesei's arms and walked absently to the bed. She sat herself down without looking Meesei in the eye. "How much do you know about your soul, Meesei?" She asked.

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

"Careful," Lunise swallowed down some emotion behind a smile. "If you say such things, I will start to think it is possible." She drew Meesei into a hug to comfort her. She continued with her chin nestled in the feathers on Meesei's head. "I am blessed to be part of your family, even if it is only privately. I am blessed that my mother appears just as open to you. I had been on my own for such a time before you that the feeling of a family had been forgotten by almost every part of me. Meeting mother today again, for the first time in over a century, reminded me that I am allowed to feel it."

Lunise held her arms more tightly around Meesei. "I should not be thinking in such circles. Nothing could take you away from your family." Her voice became constrained, as if holding back her own sobbing. "I love you so much, Meesei. I am sorry. I am beyond sorry."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Lunise might have been more amused -- or affronted -- by Zyausak and Marcaano's words had she the remaining mind to do so. She let them go without another word. Her shoulders fell as if only now having the space to breathe out.

When Meesei wrapped her arms around Lunise, she was strangely still at first. She looked at the wall ahead. When Meesei finished speaking, she took two moments longer than usual to even respond, instead gently curling her fingers around Meesei's hands and running a thumb affectionately over her knuckles.

"My support has been largely practical, even without our relationship," Lunise murmured. She bowed her head down to look at Meesei's hands. "But I do love to see you happy. Especially with amazing things like this. It is rare to see you quite this joyful."

Lunise tensed her diaphragm and forced her eyes shut for a few seconds.