Was she not going to speak? The silence that followed told Sodalite that Even had nothing to say to her, or was lacking the bravery to tell her what was on her mind. However, the breath that Evenkite took alerted her that she was going to speak.
Even howlite's name put Sodalite in a bad mood. The papers in her hands crumbled as she remembered exactly what she was doing when it all happened. She could have helped. She could have just stayed with the group and found a way to keep Howlite safe.
It was difficult, but Sodalite focused her gaze on solely Evenkite. She had to listen to every word that escaped her lips. She had to listen to them and understand them. No matter how difficult it was, with all of the memories floating around her mind, she managed. Her actions a month ago weren't brave. They weren't honorable. They were idiotic. She had rushed into an enemy location without any information on her target or her captor, or bloodstone at the time, and had taken Evenkite from where she wanted to be in the first place. She absolutely hated herself for how foolishly she acted then, and crumpled the papers further.
However, it was beautiful.
Sodalite found that she was logic driven and uncaring about the ripple effects of her actions over the course of the month. Evenkite made her break her character, which should have been at it's absolute strongest during the time of her birth. There was nothing in her mind to effect her decisions other than the instilled desires that she had learned about herself. Her decision to go after Evenkite broke her character. Her actions were illogical and flawed, something that the Sodalite now would not have stood for.
Evenkite told her that forgiveness or not, her concern was if Sodalite was still hurting or not. Of course she was hurting. It was the most important decision that she had made in her life, so to speak, and it impacted her every day. She wanted Eve back. She didn't even know the gem that well, but she wanted her back as a friend. The lines between friend and Foe were blurring so quickly. It was something she could not make sense of.
"Eve..."
She paused once more. Normally she had a set choice of words for just about every occasion, but this was not one of them. Her words were slow, calculated. She needed to make sure that what she was saying was right.
"You've made me question myself. You and your actions alone have made me do such ridiculous things like looking inside myself and seeing who I really am. When Reggie took you on Bloodstone's ship, I broke my character. That shouldn't have happened, you know. When humans and gems are born, they rely solely on their base instincts. Mine are to focus only on logic and personal results. I shouldn't care about what happened to you... or what happened to Howlite... But somehow I do. I was always worrying about you, Eve. I wanted to know what you were doing, how Bloodstone was treating you. I even considered sneaking onto the ship."
She paused again. She could no longer hold the papers without tearing them to shreads, so the put them down on one of the many desks and looked at Evenkite once more.
"I'm not going to forgive you." She needed to take a breath. "Forgiving anyone just like that is foolish and risky, so I ask that we redeem ourselves. I'm not telling you, and I'm not saying I want you too. I need to forgive myself as well. I could have saved her... I could have stayed with the group like a logical person, and I could have just talked to reggie like a logical person."
"And... I missed you too."
Forsythe