sukikyoufu

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

I think this part of the plan is the best part xD

Iris is trying to relax a little and not seem so nervous hahaha

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Maybe I will be okay. I’m just getting myself in a muddle. Cas is right, I don’t have to be strong all the time. Thinking to herself as she caught the brash smile and his confirmation that he wouldn’t forget that, it was exciting to think he still wanted to be with her like that and no amount of trauma between them had stopped their desire for one another. Already her heart raced and that was just at the thought of it, she already felt warm and she was sure her cheeks had to have a pink tinge in them which was no doubt easily on show from her pale skin. Thankfully though Cas had taken a step back from the sound of the doorknob rattling and the distance gave her a chance to calm down, turning to look at Miles she pondered his question about the fact Jay wasn’t back as if trying to act natural and not like they had almost been caught red handed in a hold.

“Cosmos?” Tilting her head at the mention of this magazine she could only assume it had to be some sort of feminine thing, it didn’t sound like a sports magazine. Is there even a sports magazine? As if focusing on the small things she nearly jumped when Jays voice came from the doorway, but she managed to contain herself knowing that she was safe here. Cas had told her it was okay, that she wouldn’t be a burden and right now it was safe and miles better than the hospital or prison which were places she hated to be in. So Iris made an effort, to join in the chatter and not seem so nervous even though inside it was how she felt.

“Wasted, I’m sure this has to be the more enjoyable part of the plan. I was going to ask about your alibi, but it looks like you have it covered.” Iris mused as she folded her arms looking towards Jay as he set down the glasses, she was starting to feel more comfortable around them realising that they were just genuine people who wanted to help. I have to let go; I have to trust Cas. Willing her thoughts as she took a seat at the table where Jay had placed the stash down, eyes looking at the fact he had brought three glasses already including her as if it was natural.

“Oh…” As if debating on if she wanted to drink she wondered if maybe the alcohol would help her sleep tonight, she knew she would find it hard to rest in the new surroundings and her thoughts clearly wasn’t her friend right now so maybe it was a good idea. Though the thought of alcohol reminded her of her father and how trashed he used to get, passed out without a care in the world but that was different. Her father had a problem, this was purely for fun and it’s not like any of them were alcoholics, just young adults wanting to have a good time.

“Hmm do I take part or do I watch the amusement unfold of watching other people drunk.” Iris laughed as she toyed up with the idea, glancing at Cas glad he was here before she looked back at Jay and nodded. “Sure, it’s not every day I get to celebrate an escape plan.”

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

He is so cute thought omg.

Oooooo okay! I'm excited to see!

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Hearing him tell her it was fine it made her feel a little better, she’d be lying to herself if she said that his reassurance didn’t help because it did. The way he had agreed that she had gone to hell and back was true, but he had suffered too. Caspain had gone through things that would scar anyone and she wanted to be a strong person for him to lean on. That was what she had hoped, but it was becoming apparent she could barely keep up the strong charade much longer, between that and constantly fighting with herself and her emotions it was easy to see the cracks. “I wanted to be someone for you to lean on, to count on and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to do that.”

Feeling herself relax in his arms as she felt his hand on her back, stroking it gently to support her. It was things like this that made her feel better, the support, the gentle touches and care he had for her always made her feel better. It was nice to know that even with her darkest thoughts, the sadness that she felt he was able to make her forget about it and feel better even if it was only for that moment. Deep down Iris knew that when he left her, she wouldn’t be able to stop the thoughts, the words that would whisper in her ear feeding her doubts and lies.

Unable to stop herself from giggling when she watched him falter at her request it brought a bright smile to her face, her own thoughts following along his about enjoying each other’s company after his initial reaction. It wasn’t what she had intended, she did just want to spend a night with him without fear of anyone else walking in on them or worrying that they were about to be found by the rebels that wanted him dead. Though thinking on it she knew there was a hint of desire for him, that deep down she still wanted that from him. I can’t deny that, wanting to be close to him like that. A part of her thinking about that night in the districts where they had gone to the bar and shared a bed together, how they had gotten quite heated. A part of her regretting they had been sensible that night. Where did that come from?

“I know, but when we get the chance, I want to take it. Remember that, even if it takes weeks or longer you owe me a night together.” Iris smiled looking over at Cas, she knew he was right with her escape it might cause another lockdown and who knew how long that would take. They would tighten their grip on the Prince even more so especially with what had happened with his kidnapping before. “Is it really okay to stay here in the meantime?” Looking up at him her eyes showing how unsure she was about staying here, he knew her discomfort, but she wanted him to say it was okay. “I… you know I have nothing. I just don’t want to burden any of you especially with everything you have already done for me.”

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

I mean...

Cas ins't wrong with his thinking, it did cross her mind haha~

Omg I forgot Jay had nipped off to the loo xD

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Iris found herself watching Cas, noting how he had looked at her when she left the wardrobe and it made her feel a little better inside knowing he still seemed interested in her. That no matter what had happened, no matter what she was wearing he still looked at her with the same eyes, the same affection and it boosted her own confidence a little perking her up a bit. It made her feel that things would be okay, even though she had no clue what was going to happen to her now. Without realising she had smiled, brightening up just a little even as Miles took the gown from her hands. “Thank you!” Calling out after Miles not even noticing that he had looked at her because all she cared about was Caspain.

Feeling him wrap his arms around her closing the distance as soon as they were alone, she held him back trying to hold back the overwhelming amount of emotions she felt. Not wanting to waste any time she kissed him back with passion, showing him that she still loved him no matter what even as they pulled back for air. “Don’t.” Seeing his mournful gaze after the kiss made her feel bad, there was nothing he could do. It wasn’t his fault and she didn’t want him to feel like it was. “You can’t apologise, you don’t need to apologise. It’s not your fault. I…” Frowning as she shook her head before leaning against him with her arms still wrapped around him in a hug, “I can’t explain that… drug. I.” Shaking her head she didn’t even want to think about it and she couldn't talk to him about it now when she'd only get in a state over it.

Looking back up at Cas she tried to smile as she reached her hand up playing with his hair as she watched his features, “I try to act tough, strong… I never want you to worry about me, and I will be fine. I just… I keep too much of it in rather than talk about it and then it gets too much. I break.” Glancing away feeling a little ashamed as tears surfaced but she knew she could trust him; she knew she could open up to him like this because he would understand. Caspain had seen everything and he probably knew there was so much more hidden away, but this was a first for Iris. Opening up to him like this, letting him through her walls, he had seen a brief snippet of it in the hospital yesterday when she had just broken down on him but she was gaining the courage to admit to him that she wasn’t okay.

“Your friend must think I’m a state, I’m sorry I’m so nervous…” Leaning up she placed a kiss on his cheek gently, “And… being so selfish when you suffered so much too.” Sighing softly as she moved her hand to caress his cheek from where she had just kissed, wanting to just enjoy his touch and hold him. “There is something I want, something I think we both need… I don’t know how possible it would be, but we need a night alone together. Just to enjoy each other’s company… and talk… maybe with junk food.”

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

It is! I am so tired haha.

I just want to nap already T.T

Oh gosh I can imagine, it's going to be quite hectic until you move and after as you say! Everyone will want a tour of the new place I'm sure.

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Hahaa I bet!! I've just opened up a new store and I'm staying away from home for two weeks!

I'm so tired haha.

Sounds like your still super busy though!! House clean day boooo, but it has to be done!!

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Travel agents, I guess there are jobs I’ve never heard of before. I wonder what that kind of work is like. Travelling, seeing the world. Iris couldn’t help but wonder what it was like, it sounded vastly different to the life she had growing up and then she felt it, a pang of jealousy. Jealous over their lifestyles that they had; how easy it had been growing up for them not wanting anything. Not struggling for anything or suffering with hunger pains. Stop it. It’s no one’s fault, I shouldn’t feel jealous. Trying to push down her feelings as she forced it to one side, they were being kind to her, they had rescued her so she had no business feeling jealous even if it was for a fleeting moment. The discomfort however did not pass, but she saw Cas give her a reassuring smile and it helped a little.

What a beautiful home. Walking through the halls as she followed the others, she couldn’t help but look at her surroundings taking in how stunning the place looked. It was different to the palace, but it screamed high born, oozed luxury and was very sleek and modern. It was beautiful and she wished she could own something so beautiful; she’d be proud to own something like this but that would never happen. To her it was just another unattainable dream and something she should stop thinking about.

When they stepped inside to the bedroom, she couldn’t help but look at the interior, the sleek black décor complimented by greys and light browns. It was amazing and could certainly take anyone’s breath away, well probably not other high borns just to commoners like me, I guess. The thought happened before she could stop it, but she couldn’t deny that it was a beautiful room.

Standing in the doorway she felt uncomfortable taking a step inside, she honestly felt like she was just a piece of dirt that would clutter up the bedroom that looked so clean and tidy. Iris didn’t want to ruin any of the items inside, she didn’t want to make anything dirty and the uncomfortable feeling didn’t cease. Anxiety began to rise as she rubbed her arms trying not to look so frightened or out of place, but it was hard. Watching as Cas strode over taking a seat, she edged inside slightly knowing she just couldn’t stand in the doorway, it would look odd for one.

Biting her lip, she wanted to sit down because her body ached, she still hurt and still wanted to rest but again she didn’t want too. Though just as she was about to make her mind up, she looked up as Miles offered her some clothes to wear, baggy comfortable looking clothes that would be so much better than the hospital gown. “A-Are you sure?” Without realising her voice had sounded unsure, a little frightened as she took the clothes from him glancing towards the glass doors that led to the bathroom and then to the closet as he mentioned how it was more private. “I’ll just eh… ah.. thank you.” Finding it hard to find the words as she pointed to the closet as she moved to get herself changed opting for the more private option.

Safely in the closet she glanced at the outfit before she pushed herself to get changed, still a little unsteady and most of her energy spent it had become a bigger task to change her outfit than she had thought but asking for help was out of the question. Grimacing as she lifted the top over herself, she then pulled the shorts up thankful they had an elasticated waist which sat loosely around her hips and the T-shirt was a little baggy, but she felt comfortable. Glancing at her bare arms and legs she could see the odd bruising and as she touched her legs, she could feel a slight scratchy sensation which only made her grimace feeling self-conscious around them all. Pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind she gathered up the hospital gown in her arms and went to head out catching sight of herself in a mirror and frowning. What a mess. Though the swelling on her neck had pretty much disappeared, the bruising was still there but faded looking like it was on the road to recovery at least. The bandaging in the hospital had really helped.

“Where should I put this?” Moving out of the closet she held the bundle of the gown in her arms using it to hide behind a little as she was starting to feel drained.

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Ohhh lovely!!

I hope you have a lovely weekend celebrating your anniversary!