Avatar of Vilageidiotx
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    1. Vilageidiotx 12 yrs ago
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8 yrs ago
Current I RP for the ladies
4 likes
8 yrs ago
#Diapergate #Hugs2018
2 likes
9 yrs ago
I fucking love catfishing
2 likes
9 yrs ago
Every time I insult a certain coworker, i'll take money from their jar. Saving for beer would never be easier!
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9 yrs ago
The Jungle Book is good.
3 likes

Bio







Most Recent Posts

Nation: Moskito

Location:


History:

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When everything came apart, Nicaragua experienced the same travails which plagued most third world countries. The government was not equipped to handle the disaster as refugees fled inland. A lack of facilities, not to mention food and water, was complicated by the large number of displaced persons the government found itself responsible for. A desperate measure was passed in order to handle these duel problems, and a mandatory work detail was forced on those who did not fit into the surviving communites. Those forced to work were those made homeless by the destruction of the coast, mixed in with the jobless and prison-bound populations. There was another smaller group included in the mandatory worker population; foreigners. Two Caribbean cruise ships had been forced to dock on the east coast just before the sea swept in. This left the mixed foreign crowd of local Caribbean visitors, and American Businessmen and agents, to be combined with a crowd of listless tourists. It was the later that would lend their name to the pejorative native Nicaraugans would eventually give to all the mandatory workers; Turistas.

The mandatory worker laws were originally meant to be temporary, but the government never managed to get a handle on the situation. The collapse of the world economy ruined the currency of the Nicaragua, and the resulting inflation caused the surviving government to grind to a halt. It couldn't pay employees and enforce laws. Sheer inertia kept it going for several years, but its acts grew increasingly desperate. It was in one of its final attempts to reach solvency that the Nicaraguan government inadvertently set up the early beginnings of what would become the state and civilization of Moskito. Desperate for income, the government "Rented" the indefinite contracts of the Mandatory Workers, the "Turistas", thus turning a legislated emergency measure into a form of commercial slavery.

It did no good, and the government soon disintegrated. Without the law, those wealthy landowners who could afford to buy the contracts of the Mandatory Workers were forced to defend their property. They converted some Turistas into paid guards, and also hired their poorer neighbors for similar duties. Food and basic manufactured goods shot up in value as the remnants of old civilization were consumed, prompting those with money to put their Turistas into the hard work of making the damaged land arable again.

When they realized their situations were to be permanent, the Mandatory Workers attempted to force their freedom. This event would become known as the First Turistan War. It was a brutal affair, fought mostly in the lowlands along the Moskito Coast, and it was this conflict that sharpened this new form of society by creating a strict dividing line between classes. The landowners, their lives threatened, constructed a middling class of soldiers and freemen to divide them from the Turistas, who were degraded to a permanent slave cast with fewer opportunities to crawl out of their predicament.

The following generations went by with few events. Civilization in the highlands disintegrated and grew sparse. Small-scale manufacturing replaced what scavenged material was lost over time. A reliance on steam-power and other antiquated forms of energy replaced the old fossil-fuel based economics. Worried about another Turistan War caused the free classes to relearn the military arts. Land was cleared, and harbors were slowly constructed to make up for the difficulties caused by violent tides. With the old government gone, a new form of defensive government was put in place under the office of Mariscal. The Mariscal, elected by the members of the landowning class (now being called the Sangre Azul), was given command of their combined military forces, and legal jurisdiction over anything considered necessary for the defense of their people.

Their worst fears were answered during the command of Mariscal Juan Vicente Duque. The Turistas rose again, armed by a rebellious Sangre Azul from the south named Palo Paz. Paz died in one of the first battles of the war, but his rebels saw no reason to surrender to punishment reenslavement, so the war continued. Mariscal Duque developed new military techniques during this war, including the return of field artillery in the form of mortars and small rifled cannons.

The final battle was fought along the Kama river. The Turista rebels had been pushed south and surrounded at the coast near the sunken ruins of Bluefields. In their attempt to break out of the attack, they made a fierce assault on the Moskitan positions near the river. In the worst of the fighting, when it looked like the battle could go either way, a sick Mariscal Duque got out of his sickbed to help push cannon across the river for the last advance. He fainted and died on the field, but despite his death the battle was won and the Turistas were forced back in enslavement.

The Duque family has since received an almost religious devotion from the people following the death of their great relative nineteen years ago. In the same way the first conflict created their form of society, the second one had created a renaissance of construction and societal advancement. Juan Vicente Duque's brother, Antonio Duque, served as Mariscal for eleven years after his elder brothers death, until his own death of heart disease. The last eight years has saw Juan Vicente's son Juan Aureliano Duque serve in the higher office. Aureliano is an uncompromising man, known for his strong mind and personality just as much as he is for his strong temper. Under his command, long-distance trade has began to flourish, and his interest in architecture has brought several large building projects into the works. Steel-sided steamboats patrol the sea, while military reorganization brought on by his father seems to guarantee the Turistas will never revolt again.

When I did up the map I did it as a perfect-square shaped canvas. I hoped to get the lesser Antilles in but the proportions on this shit somehow turned out a lot different than I had initially thought so most of it got cut out.

I could always go back in and adjust the map before I make the formal thread, so we have all of that.


Might not be a bad idea. I get the aesthetic reason for the choice but as a region this map is incomplete.
My mom is cool as heck and all she wants for Mothers Day is for me to pick her up something from this fancy Chinese restaurant near her house. Chinese food is the forever gift


We ended up getting Dim Sum earlier today, since Saturday was the only day my sister and I got off of work to take mom out for food. I was surprised because she usually don't spring for exotic things, but I had mentioned it existing once a while back and I guess she remembered it because that was her choice.
The SC idea is interesting, I had a similar idea, just too on the nose for my taste.


Understandable.

<Snipped quote by Vilageidiotx>

Well, you can still say that. You just can't play as them. Which is kind of a shame since the island is situated in an interesting spot and has a lot of colonial forts that would still be standing. I think including the oldest colonial fort that is under US jurisdiction, which is a neat fun-fact. The island is also small enough that it may have been spared from direct impacts. Tsunamis may have hit it but I'm pretty sure it's entirely above sea level so the waters may have receded afterwards, allowing for rebuilding.


Yeh, the exclusion of that area seems strange. I get why the coast of Mexico could be seen as distracting, but the lack of half of the Caribbean is odd now I notice it.


Welcome back to the first annual Presidential Hunger Games election! Last time saw the death of six of our less impressive candidates. Trump was stumped, Hilary torn from the embrace of Deez Nuts, all while the former champion Abe Lincoln retreated into a cave. What comes next? Will we see a new champion emerge, or is Lincoln only taking a short break? Let us watch and find out.



Mr. Rogers, the Bane of Hilary, rests after the kill. We nearly lost our second socialist Jew, but the Princess Leia spares him in the end. Is is strange that a billionaire aristocrat would save a man like Bernie, or has the lost of the planet she called home changed Leia's perspective?

Stubbs thinks about winning. And why should he not? I see the making of a champion in him despite the lack of kills. He collected a shield, and has learned archery. He hunted, even if it was for the least dangerous of pray; a Briton. What I see in him is preparation. He is biding his time until that moment when he can strike out with confidence, and because of that I say we shouldn't make assumptions. That cat might be our next president yet.

It is also confirmed. Lincoln is woken by nightmares. He entered the game with righteous bloodlust, killing Ron Paul and making an attempt on Hilary Clinton. After his brutal slaying of Kim Jonh Un, however, the blood on his hand has become too much for him to bare. He hides away in his cave now, experiencing flashbacks and regrets. Maybe he will survive it, or maybe, just maybe, the one to slay Lincoln will be himself.

But Putin isn't laying down. He slays Hitler with an arrow to the skull. Astute watchers will note that Putin also slew Stalin, proving that when it comes to the dictators, there can only be one. We must also reflect that Hitler was not an evil force in this world, nor a particularly dangerous one. His most notable achievement was becoming the little spoon to Shrek's benevolent big spoon. Surprisingly, Hitler was too gentle a soul for our election.

And also,



Ouch. Shrek is a trooper, that is not the face I would make if that happened to me.



Dragyourtoesoff sneaks up on the sneakmeister, and we should respect him for that. Getting a drop on Vermin Supreme is a feat to be admired.

We also see Stubbs make a slingshot. This cat might be the most well armed contestant out of them all. He has no kills as of yet, but that might not matter. There isn't a more deliberate candidate on the field.

Lincoln's experiences might have changed him. Bernie, suffering injuries from his near-death to Princess Leia, finds an unlikely ally in Murderin' Abe. One has to wonder if this is a permanent shift. After reflecting on his deeds, has Lincoln turned a corner in his life? Are we seeing a man realize the weight of his crimes and experiences, and that he must do good for the world.

And Shrek, after his slow start, begins to show himself the killer that Lincoln no longer is.



Here are the honored dead, on a list that looks sort of like what a fourth grader with ADHD might write when asked to supply a list of his favorite historical figures.
In other news, Happy Mother's Day everyone! This goes out to all the mother's out there. Hope your day is awesome!


(Just thought it would be nice to put something, well, nice here.)


Awww.

That's so syrupy I have diabetes now.
I'll go ahead and bow out. I can't pick a location, let alone a solid idea to accompany it. Didn't mean to be a tease.


For South Carolina?

Take the neo-confederate idea and turn it on its head. Have people who haven't retained much information about the confederacy but rather worships their flag in a sort of weird folk religion where Lee is a savior and Sherman a devil-like boogie man. Otherwise they reject all historical accounts as blasphemy and insist in a theological interpretation of the pertinent information.

Other idea that people might bring up for the rest of the world include ones I think I have mentioned before but i'll list them again if anybody needs a prompt.

-A Muslim state at Guantanamo founded by the prior inmates.
-A Jewish state in Florida started by retirees and the children who were visiting at the time.
-A cattle-based nomadic state in Los Llanos in Venezuela. Think "Rawhide" meets "Genghis Khan", but with Llaneros. It's just barely on the map, but you could push them up a bit.
-A only partially flooded Houston Texas is on the map. You could use them to reference the condition of Texas. Other interesting towns technically on this map include Vicksburg Mississippi, Jackson Mississippi, Montgomery Alabama, and Savannah Georgia. I can especially imagine a situation where the violence of the apocalypse puts Vicksburg back on the Mississippi and turns it into an important fort holding back scary barbarism from up river.
-It looks like Cancun is an island now. Government via Spring Break. Might be able to negotiate a spring-break city state from Shorticus.
-The Bahamas are ghost islands that only appear at low tide. Imagine them as a place where criminals from other nations are banished to, and forced to live a harsh life where they must sleep on rusty boats and scrape a sea-food based living on the shitty scraps of ground.
-The Panama Canal exists. Do something with that.

I also noticed the map only covers part of the Caribbean. Why no Puerto Rico? Why no lesser Antilles? I was going to say 'The American Government fled to Puerto Rico" but can't do it because it missing.
o. im worried about me tho


Welcome back to the first annual Presidential Hunger Games election! We've seen relationships blossom; Mr. Rogers and Bernie Sanders kindle a friendship, Hitler and Shrek kindle a romance, and Hilary Clinton fondles Deez Nuts. We've also seen the rise of Abe Lincoln as the stone coldest of our killers. It seems likely he will win himself a third term. Again the question everyone is asking themselves is; who will Lincoln kill next?



Mr. Rogers finishes what Lincoln started! The man who would be everybody's neighbor strikes a blow against the woman who every neighbor likes to bitch about when they run across you in the halls. The death of Hilary marks the end for the first of the candidates chosen by state primaries. Trump, the man who seems destined to just fiddle-fart around the arena, is the only hope for traditional democracy now. We also find Vermin, Shrek, and Stubbs helping each other out in what seems likely to be the plot for the 65th film in the Shrek franchise.

What might be my favorite mental image from this morning is The Donald, Genghis Khan, Putin, and Dagnabbitoff telling ghost stories. It is now I realize that I am completely incapable of imagining Trump telling a ghost story. "I love ghosts, ghosts are great, ghosts are the best. But some ghosts, some ghosts are in our televisions, they are haunting our houses, ghosts need to go. I'll catch the ghosts, i'll build a ghost catcher, it will be yuge, it will be the best ghost catcher..."

And lastly, we run across the greatest tragedy of the game. George III makes like the big pussy that he is and bleeds out right there from no cause at all. His achievements included getting mugged, begging for someone to kill him, and hiding from fire. Congratulations, George III, you suck.



Putin, Camacho, and Dragatoweloff. Helluva team. I can see them playing a dragnet strategy and clearing this arena in one sweep.

Great Britain receives another embarrassment when a second of her chosen sons die. This one at least had the fortitude to be murdered. And in his defense, the picture I gave Vermin Supreme with his arms out like that seems to have effected his ambushing skills, because this is the second time he has pulled it off.

And it would seem Mary Queen of Scots has finally gotten tired of how useless her fellow countrymen are, and she performs her first kill in murdering the last competing Briton. Now it is only her and what might remain of her booze. God save the queen.

The Donald's mild, low energy career comes to an end when he apparently poisons himself. That does not surprise me, but what does surprise me is that Genghis followed him in this fate.

Though I admit one of the best parts of this is Stubs practicing his archery. That is impressive. I think the cat might be a legitimate competitor.



And there they go, the chaff is if separated from the real gangsta wheat. We have seen the near-collapse of Britain's hope and the primary-chosen. Those that remain are a stronger, heartier set. Though I think I speak for some when I confess my biggest disappointment was Lincoln's retirement to a cave. Has the bloodshed finally gotten to him? Must he wash away his sins in the womb of mother earth?
I got one post ready. After that, I got me some overtime for a while so imma be a tad distracted. Once that runs out, and it probably will soon enough because nobody ever likes to pay much overtime, imma get hella shit done.
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