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Fred Hill had been roaming about the forest, for what seemed liked hours. The intense volume and variety of metaphysical power being thrown around, coupled with the hangover-like dizziness, made traversing a dense forest in the middle of the night difficult. Eventually, Fred would come upon a lake, with a land bridge that led to a cottage.

Once arriving at the door, Fred knocked on the door... Well, okay, more like punch the door into tinder.

"Oops..." Fred grumbled. He shrugged, making another attempt at announcing his presence. "DING DONG!" He shouted into the living room. "... DING-DONG....! DING-DONG....!"

Once the owner of the cottage eventually arrived, they would be greeted by the sight of a huge young man. He was about 6'5", whose clothes strained to contain his rippling wrestler's physique. Pale eyes pierced the darkness, as he continued his impression of a doorbell.
Anyone else wanna weigh in?
Go on without me!

Yeah, I get what you mean. The rp community I was part of had similar problems in the past: One of the players decided to act like a d-bag, caused a schism in the community which led to its falling out. Beyond that, things like power-scaling was never really a problem, since everyone just respected each other's abilities in that regard, and made sure the characters had something sufficient to challenge them.

I think a good way to deal with things getting out of hand, is to keep the group small, initially. Like, have a group of 4-5 players and run through a few scenarios/plots that wouldn't take too long to complete. I think something like the characters moving in, or just roaming around the setting for a while during some event, or even an Avengers-styled assembling against a common enemy.

After that, we can gradually include more people. I think I'll make that bit more invitation-based. Like say one of us playing could invite someone we know to join us, and go from there?
I'm looking more to discuss this idea, as opposed to look for players, since I want to work out some kinks. In the meantime:

I'm part of a rping community of a few friends that... Has been dead for a good number of years. The idea was that we played as OCs in a world mixing canon and original elements. For example, our characters would be shipped with a canon character (say someone from Dead Or Alive, etc), and battled an original villain.

Having seen a lot of YTP (youtube poop), especially the story-driven ones by MosBros, I've been wanting to set up a rp that worked with that premise: A mash-up of various canons, original ideas, etc, to create a fun sandbox for players to play with their imagination.

For example: Always wanted to make a self-insert super saiyan with a hot anime harem? Go for it? Wanna be a squishy little ant that surfs sewers for a living? JUST. DO IT!

I'm here to ask if anyone's ever tried writing something like this. How did things go? Is this a feasible idea? Any tips about running such a rp? What are your general thoughts?
Escotto's Equestrian Adventure

Part 5: Hungry, Hungry Horsey!



With the apparent equine nearly taking Escotto's arm off, and taking him for a ride instead, it gave him a moment to wonder what went wrong.

"Let's see... I was able to put myself into the mindset of a retard, so that means I should've been able to disconnect myself from common sense enough to infer a solution based on what is known about horses, or similar creatures. But, I at least got it's attention, so what I must do now is use it's sudden lust for carrots -or maybe this thing swings that way, but I don't- to leverage my advantage in order to garner more information...."

His new vantage at least gave Escotto a look at the exchange. Apparently fire was bad. But, there was something about the last doodle that made him wonder... Perhaps the sun has an effect on the forest? Where was Antonio when he was actually needed?!

"Probably off somewhere crying about Maria, again." Escotto answered. "But, don't tell him I said that!"

Antonio can't hear me.

"Which is why you won't tell him!"


"Anyway, for Escotto to join the conversation, he must find a way to get down!"

He pulled out a... Oh, wait. No. Where did he get another carrot?!

"From tu madre!" Escotto answered, before holding the carrot up to the pegasus -if the appearance of the others were any indication- before yanking it away and using it to point to the ground. "Heel! Heeeel!" Escotto commanded. "Down. Doooowwwwnnnnn!"
Escotto's Equestrian Adventure

Part 4: Close Encounter of the Burned Kind!


Escotto watched his... Should he say new companions?

"I think we can."

But, they don't seem to like you very much.

"Aaaand, what's your point?"

Ugh. Anyway, watching Elijah and his crew reveal themselves to these masked creatures, Escotto frowned as Elijah indeed confirmed he was human...

"Wait, does this mean I won't be the first to score some alien poon?!" He gasped. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

However, when the Asari removed her helmet,

"Yep, would bang."

Then Jorgal.

"Let's see.... Hell naw! To da naw, naw, naaaaw!"

Then Ghalo.

"Damn! That's a face only a mother could love!"

Turning back to the quadrupeds, it seemed that any communication between the two sides were going absolutely nowhere. It was at this time that a most brilliant idea struck. Escotto whipped about the quadrupeds. Despite the mask, these creatures were rather stocky for their short height, and the bottom of their feet could look something like hooves, if it weren't for the suits. Or perhaps they are hooves. That could mean....

In order for this to work, Escotto took the hem of his hoody and hoisted it over his head, then sagged his pants. The next step was to cross his eyes, and hold his tongue out as if he had suddenly gone brain dead, and he waddled up to the creatures.

"Hope this works!" He thought, then pulled a carrot from behind him and held it out to the one in the middle. "Ahem.... Horsey wanna cawwot?" He cooed with a cartoonishly deep voice. "Cawwot gewd fer horsey!"
Escotto's Equestrian Adventure

Part 3: Timber Wolf 2: Electric Boogaloo!


Escotto's charge skid to a stop at the lightning bolt, before he backsprang away from the blast. His acrobatics managed to keep him from being crushed, thankfully. When he stopped, a Pegasus of all things stopped. Unfortunately, Equine was not in Escotto's vocabulary, but he noticed the Mercs' ship about to become dinner for some very pissed off vines. Apparently a grenade dealt with that madness. Escotto's attention was taken by a second explosion, which sent a heat wave right for the lot.

Of course, the wave was simply to movement of super-heated air. Thus,

"Fēngshuǐ zhī nù!"

With a sharp exhale and a palm thrust, a palm-shaped wall smacked against and halted the portion of the wave headed for them. Anything else was not so lucky. Once it was all said and done, Escotto gave his branch a twirl, before blowing the leaves like a smoking gun. "Yeah, bitch!" He sighed... To no one in particular.

Then there was the matter of the big glowing rock. Escotto could already hear Ned and Rede fusing over the thing

We absolutely MUST study the properties of this mineral!

Are you kiddin'?! Do you have ANY idea how much we get for that?!

And then Elijah used his weird Dark Energy powers to pick it up and chuck into a canyon.

"Aw, c'mon!"

Then Escotto's missing switchblade landed right next to him. However, it was still how from the explosion. So, it needed to be picked up through Escotto's hoody.

"Kid if these aliens come down let us do the talking. We might be able to get a translator working and initiate some dialogue."

Escotto Saluted, spouting "Aye, aye, Capitan!" Hopefully he could get a good look at what else these "Omni-tools" could do.

"Depends on the species, some of them look human in nature, though in practicality since the Asari where first its more like we are similar to them. My ship has seven species on it. I'm human if you couldn't tell, don't know how you couldn't. The person standing next to me is a Asari. The big guy behind me is a Krogan and the taller one is a Batarian. The other races on my ship are Turian, Salarian and Quarian. The other species where we are from are Hanar, Drell, Elcor, Volus and Vorcha. Though I really wouldn't count the last one they're more savage. Breed like pests too. Why have you never seen a alien before?"

Escotto thought things over as this merc explained things... "Hm, seems you guys're from an alternate universe too..." He mused, mainly to himself.

His eyes glazed over when he started banging on about how badass he and his crew were. "Oh, you mean like every edgy teenager who's played too much C.O.D.? Oh, and as far as not getting laid goes: Challenge accepted! Oh, and I'll let you in on a lil' secret..." He trailed off, leaning close, so only Elijah could hear. "My dick's bigger than yours!"

Before anything else could be said, a roar boomed across the forest.

"Mom?!" Escotto gasped with all the dramatic flair he could muster, and wheeled around. A giant version of one of those wooden wolves stomped its way to them. "Oh, look! It's teh mama! Looks like somebody -not gonna name names- pissed her off!" He said accusingly, despite trying to ignore the fact he threw a knife in one's eye!

"Hey, hey! It didn't kill it!"

Not for the lack of trying.

"Hey, fuck you! I was good today!"

"Kid! Don't get involved in this fight. Let us handle it. We've handled bigger beasts than this."

"Oh, no the fuck you don't!" Escotto piped up. "You ain't stealing my kills again!"

So you admit to-

"I ADMIT NOTHING!" Escotto snapped back, pointing at the sky!

In the chaos, the skater took off, already calculating what he needed to do. He could try one of his Five Symbol Stances: Blue Dragon's venom might not work, Vermillon Bird may not be sufficient, White Tiger and Black Tortoise both required being up in its face, which would leave him open to being sniped on the way over.

What about other techniques?

Star Shadow Dance would have a similar problem as Vermillon Bird Stance. Yogi's Reach might work if he built enough momentum and mass, but if that thing had some natural defenses like spikes, that would not end well. Only viable option from there was Fengshi's Fury. And speaking of such, the mercs had managed to light the big bitch up like a Roman candle.

The thing about Fengshi's Fury, is that the strength of the wind depended on the speed and/or power of its user's strikes. If Escotto wanted to be effective, he'd need to pick up speed. And with the crappy surroundings, that meant he wouldn't be able to use his typical trick of skating up the speed. Now, if he had a tool....

Having reached the forest, Escotto kicked one of the wolves out of his way and made for the treeline before it's buddies cou-

"Hey, those could be its siblings for all you know!" Escotto cut in. "Anyway! Now with a long enough tree branch in hand, Escotto could finally join the party!"

He jumped down, using the branch as a vault to down one of the wolves with a thrust, and cart wheel to the ground. He back-peddled a few steps then bounced off a tree and back into the clearing. The wolves followed him, only to get whacked by the many branches of the... The branch, the whipping power reducing them to timber. One of the wolves managed to bite into it, stopping Escotto's swings. The young Mexicano used that to his advantage, moving with the wolf's jerks and forcing it to the ground before tearing the branch away and using the pointed end to impale it through the mouth.

"And now, ladies'n germs! The main attraction!" Escotto announced.

Breathing deeply, Escotto worked his Qi through his body and into the branch, causing it to take an ethereal glow and quiver as if alive. "Bei Shaolin: Fēngshuǐ zhī nù!" Twirling the branch over his head, the air around Escotto spun, from a dust devil, to a whirlwind, to a violent tornado in a matter of seconds. To add to this speed, Escotto hopped on Romana and popped her into a nose manual. He used this to spin himself as he kept twirling the branch, further adding to the speed and power of the twister until he finally launched it at the wolf.

Once the twister slammed into the wolf, it sucked up all the smaller ones, the trees and anyone unfortunate enough to get out of the way, adding more fuel to the fire as the winds fanned the flames. As this happened, Escotto charged at the giant, apparently not finished.


When the ship opened up, Escotto's eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. "Real, actual aliens!" Then they pulled out guns. "Oh, look, it's the welcoming committee!" And then began to shoot at the creatures chasing him. "Oh, they are on my side, cool!" Skidding to a stop and turning, Escotto finally got a good look at his pursuers. Basically they were wolves cobbled together by wood and magic. There was mystical power being thrown around on both sides: From one armored alien firing off spears of... That's not Qì in itself. Perhaps Dark Energy? Something to ask Ned about when he got back, to the wolf that got impaled by said spears.

Cocking Ramona back, Escotto prepared to retaliate, until one of the wolves burst into timber.


He turned to another, about to split it with a spinning side kick, before one of the bigger aliens stomped it to pieces.

"Oh. Well, in that case..."

Seeing another wolf, Escotto prepared to throw his other switch blade, before one of the aliens shot it to pieces.

"Can I just...?"

There was one last batch. Escotto concentrated, about to use the Northern Shaolin's Fengshi's Fury... Only for that alien tossing around dark energy to sudden burn them to ashes.

"Oh, c'mon!" Escotto grunted.

The wolves were no more. And now the aliens were approaching.

"Okay, Escotto! This is the moment you've been training for your whole life! If they got a hot alien chick with them, and you play your cards right; you'll be the first human to score some alien poon....! If she's ugly as fuck, then abort and ask if they can give you a ride back!"

He turned to the two aliens that approached. Getting a good look at them, one of them, who bombarded Escotto with questions, looked humanoid in his suit. "Yo, hold up, hold up!" Escotto interrupted. "Are you like for real aliens, or the broke-ass kind that's just humans with a different coat of paint?"

While waiting for an answer, he turned to the other alleged alien and began to answer the first one's questions to her instead. "Name's Escotto De La Rocha. AKA, El Tormento. AKA Mister Wonderful (No, I don't have a dozen roses for you!). AKA Doctor Wreck yo' shit! And the reigning champ'in of Shàolín (Along with mi hermano). I hail from the distant and mysterious region known as "México". I bring peace, badassery, and good dickings for the females (if they're hot)!"
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