Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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Whoops, it does! I'll do it when I'm next on my PC (trying to use my not-so-reliable tablet to copy-paste things is.. awkward. And frustrating. And bad.)

Edit: Done! Using an actual keyboard and mouse that works is so much nicer.


Glad to hear it! Good job! n_n
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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Glad to hear it! Good job! n_n


I'd dare say it's the most productive thing I've done today. Although, having said that, I recently managed to get dressed into sensible outdoor clothes, so my friend (eeee) and I can go out to a cafe, in order to eat a huge breakfast for dinner in half an hour or so.

I hope that everyone else is having a good weekend; I will be aiming for an IC GM post on Monday, as I'll have a good hour or two free to write something relatively useful and usefully relevant.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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<Snipped quote by TwelveOf8>

I'd dare say it's the most productive thing I've done today. Although, having said that, I recently managed to get dressed into sensible outdoor clothes, so my friend (eeee) and I can go out to a cafe, in order to eat a huge breakfast for dinner in half an hour or so.

I hope that everyone else is having a good weekend; I will be aiming for an IC GM post on Monday, as I'll have a good hour or two free to write something relatively useful and usefully relevant.

A huge breakfast for dinner!? Well, food is food, no matter what time of day. I could really go for some pancakes right now and it's the middle of the night for me! I've had cooked pork belly for breakfast from the local markets once. It was amazing! So as you can see, I too make bizarre gastronomical choices at times.

Relatively useful and usefully relevant. Exactly what is needed though it needs to be exact. Yours was better ~_~
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by DracoLunaris
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sorry that took so long, but I have finally posted.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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I could really go for some pancakes right now and it's the middle of the night for me!


Midnight Pancakes would be the name of my band. Maybe Midnight Pancake & The Bizarre Gastronomical Choices.

sorry that took so long, but I have finally posted.


No worries! I've been pretty sporadic with my posting this week, so I've hardly set the best of examples.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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Sorry about the delay; anxiety is trying it's damned hardest to gnaw away at me today.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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Sorry about the delay; anxiety is trying it's damned hardest to gnaw away at me today.


A struggle I know all too well.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Archmage MC
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So I'm deciding to watch Harvey Birdman Attourney at Law again to see how it holds up.

It'd be really neat if they did an updated version with the newer cartoons. Imagine Aku trying to sue Samurai Jack xd.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by DepressedSoviet
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@Archmage MCCoincidentally, I've been watching Space Ghost Coast to Coast when my free time allows for it
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by DracoLunaris
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@Archmage MC I watched it recently, still pretty good in my opinion.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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I'm sorry that there's been no progress on the GM post from me; I think it's a combination of "anxiety" and "responsibility" that is giving me both a case of serious writing paralysis and bouts of terror. While the phrase "it's not you, it's me" seems a bit tired, it's pretty apt here - you've all demonstrated commitment and patience above and beyond my expectations, and I'm going to try and put my GM-brain-meats into some semblance of order over the next few days, so, please, hang tight, remain calm and hopefully I'll see you on the other side of my self-induced brain wibbling towards the end of the week.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Archmage MC
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So... in 20 years not only will we have the robot apocalypse, but we'll also have robots that can get pregnent and who can make their own genes. We already have robots that can get preggo with a donor egg, but in 20 years that wont even be needed.

Heck robots might adopt our way of reproduction so they can reap the benefits of evolution via mutation. They can encode and decode DNA after all.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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Right, GM Hat on, along with the Responsibility Scarf and, if it weren't for the encumbrance penalties associated with it, I'd likely be wearing the +3 Full Plate Of Resolve. As it is, I've got my pyjamas on, and while they offer relatively little protection, they are warm and fuzzy, and so that probably translates as some kind of resistance to cold at least.

I am not sure whether or not I can carry on running a game at the moment. I'm not going to offer excuses for this; I've managed to bite off more than I can chew, and I have struggled with the responsibility of it, to the point where I have been too nervous to actually look at this thread for days on end. This is entirely my fault; it turns out I don't have a particularly well thought out coping strategy for this sort of thing, and so fell back on my usual "hide away and hope for the best" which, unsurprisingly, just made it worse. I don't know when this phase of anxiety is going to pass, and although I would like to try and resurrect this game at that point, it's not right for me to ask for people to wait an unspecified amount of time for something that may not even happen.

It's time to put the GM Hat and replace it with the Fuzzy Bear Hat Of Keeping My Head Warm, I'd like to say how thankful I am to you all - you are all wonderful players. You've been creative, you've been funny. You've surprised me, entertained me and made me laugh. I could not have asked for a better crew of players, and anyone else on the site brave enough to don the GM Hat should probably start trying to poach you for their own games.

I'm going to put the GM Hat down now for a while, have a cup of tea, and try to breathe.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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No! I will not accept this! I refuse! @Hylozoist
This RP doesn't deserve to end this way! No work of collaborative creativity does! Least of all this one.

Sure, we may not always be able to work at our best, but truly, beauty comes from imperfection. Believe it or not, the form perfection takes is actually very bland.

It's during our darkest times when our characters are put to the test. It's when the chips are down when we see what we are truly made of.

I am only involved with one other RP. In that RP I am the only player. The GM thought that the project was dead for sure. But I insisted that we continue anyway. Now she bugs me all the time about new posts. She's even admitted to becoming obsessed with some of the characters I've created. I don't mean to brag but the point is, the most amazing and unexpected things can happen when life doesn't go according to plan. When life takes a shape one did not previously envision.

I know anxiety all too well. It is the fear of uncertainty. Fearing uncertainty is completely understandable when the feelings of others are on the line. But guess what? Uncertainty is born from chaos. The wonderful thing about chaos is that it allows for change. When change is possible, amazing things are possible.

When things are always perfect though, that's something else entirely. When something reaches perfection, then truly, its reached the end of its journey. Any change from that point on would be a change for the worse. Why go on? This RP will never be perfect, and I hope it never will be. The charm of this RP lies in its quirkiness and unpredictability after all. Don't get that from perfection!

TLDR: The fear of uncertainty can strike when people's feelings are involved. One always wants to make others happy after all. But uncertainty comes from chaos. From chaos comes emergence. From emergence comes everything and anything. All things considered, it's nothing to be afraid of but rather something that should be embraced. Embrace the chaos and accept it. In time, with your help of course, it will provide.

So @Hylozoist. Won't you put your GM hat back on one more time? I miss those big goofy feathers.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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So @Hylozoist. Won't you put your GM hat back on one more time? I miss those big goofy feathers.


I've sent you a PM, but I realise that I should probably say things here, because, well, it's relevant for all of us.

I would like to keep this game going, but I've got some things going on in my life that are making handling other responsibilities difficult. I'm (slowly) making progress in tackling some of these, and hopefully once I've tackled these big problems (mostly of the downright terrifying and unknowable "interpersonal relationship" type), the little day-to-day problems that I enjoy facing ("How do I make the lives of the characters in my game more difficult?", the annual "Maybe I Could Get A New Apron" and the ever popular "Should I wear dinosaur pyjamas or bunny pyjamas today?") will feel, well, more enjoyable.

The problem I'm facing is that I do not have a timetable for how long it will take for me to get back to that point. I didn't want to say to everyone, "I would like you to wait for an unspecified amount of time for me", as that didn't feel fair on anyone. Conversely, I didn't want to set myself a deadline to try and meet, because that only serves to make me more anxious, which rather defeats my goal. In my wobbly-brain-meats at the time, the best option was to cut the responsibility of the GM Hat out entirely, but I realise that's really not fair on any of you either.

So here's the deal - I am going to fix this. I will post when I will post (one of the perks of the GM Hat, right?) and try to muscle my way through this rough patch. Once I've managed to deal with some of the out-of-game problems I'm facing, hopefully, it'll mean less anxiety attached to this and things will improve.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Archmage MC
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@Hylozoist Wanna let us know what these problems are? I'll help with whatever ones I can.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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@Hylozoist You can do it! We believe in you! Do as little as you feel like. Just please, for the love of Hendersons Ribs and its affiliates, don't stop. Don't stop building and contributing. Seeing a commitment through to the end is worth it, even of it doesn't feel like it at the time.

I repeat, do as little as you feel like. Just do something, please.
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@Hylozoist Wanna let us know what these problems are? I'll help with whatever ones I can.


It's mostly the interpersonal stuff; there's somebody I like, he likes me back, and it's a step into the unknown that's made me confront some fairly deep-seated things I've always told myself to be true, even though, well, they probably aren't. That's not been particularly easy for me to process, and so it's made problems of everything else, because my capacity to actually solve problems has been diminished, if that makes sense.

So, thank you, for the offer of help, and while I'm not sure if there's much that can be done to address the big problems, the offering of help (and the stern but fair talking to I've been receiving) has helped more than you probably realise.

In terms of small problems that you, and everyone else, can help with - here's a question that you could answer, and I clearly don't need an answer straight away, but it'd help me when it comes to working out what to do in the next post, and the ones that come after it: how long do you want an ISF mission to take?

I'm not going to be setting definite limits ("This mission must be solved in 12 posts or less!"), but it'd be helpful to me to have a better understanding of how you, and everyone else, likes things to be paced in their games. Obviously, "whatever pace you want, I don't mind" is a fair and valid answer, and if that's the case with most of you, I'll try and trust my judgement to know when's best to hurry the action up, and when's best to slow things down. There's going to be times where I get it wrong (as has been proven, my judgement is pretty bloody poor at times).

As a case in point, would this current scene work better if I moved the action along more in each post? Looking back over it, it's been fairly slow on my part. I think this is sort of a hold-over from my around-the-table-playing-games GMing style, where I want to make sure that players have opportunities to react to just about everything. Now obviously, in a game around a table, that's a lot easier - any one of them can interrupt me (politely (mostly)) and react to it. When it comes to a play-by-post style of game, however, it's harder; I have to sort of "guess", for lack of a better way of putting it, what it is you'll want to react to, and stop the action at the appropriate moment to provide the opportunity for you to react to it. In the current scene, for instance, it may have been better for me to move things along more in my posts, and trust that such a thing would have provided better pacing in exchange for less opportunity to react.

And I've just realised this has turned into a wall of text about GMing.

TL:DR - big problems are real life interpersonal relationship stuff that I am inexperienced with and bad at, things you can help with are telling me what sort of pace you're comfortable with in terms of action-moving-per-post so it's less "me guessing that this is the right idea" and more "me knowing what the audience wants".
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Archmage MC
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@Hylozoist

Ah ok. I'm not so great at the interpersonal stuff myself, but thats maybe due to the people I've had to test my way of doing things on. I tend to butt heads to get the problem over with, which really meshes well with extroverts but makes introverts not like you. And I've only really dealt with introverts mostly. will say the thing I'm sheepish with is sex stuff mostly because I'm a guy and all that steriotype stuff...

Really the only thing I can say to improve on with the GM stuff so far is to give us something to react to in a combat or escalating situation, if that makes sense.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Hylozoist
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I'm not so great at the interpersonal stuff myself, but thats maybe due to the people I've had to test my way of doing things on. (...) And I've only really dealt with introverts mostly. will say the thing I'm sheepish with is sex stuff mostly because I'm a guy and all that steriotype stuff...


Dealing with interpersonal stuff is tricky, and it's doubly tricky to offer advice and help with it when it involves somebody else! Especially as, when it comes to that sort of thing, there's (to paraphrase from Babylon 5) your side, their side, and the truth. As I'm part of the problem in the interpersonal relationship thing, my recounting of the problem is unlikely to do a good job of explaining it fully - I could say, for instance, that somebody is being a big ol' meanie jerk for absolutely no reason, and people might give me advice on how to act on that, but if I mistook their behaviour for being a jerk, and didn't see the reasons behind it, then any advice that could be given could just end up making matters worse by acting on my misunderstanding and flawed understanding of events.

On the "sex stuff" front, I'm one of those folks who isn't at all interested in it. It used to bug me a lot when I was younger ("Oh god, why is everyone suddenly interested in this?!"), but I'm old enough now just to shrug off my complete lack of interest in it.

Really the only thing I can say to improve on with the GM stuff so far is to give us something to react to in a combat or escalating situation, if that makes sense.


Yeah, it does. I think part of the problem is that (as I've done multiple times before!), I've often left out stuff - I think it, but I'm not happy with how I've wrote it, so I delete it, but continue to write as if it's still there, if that makes sense. "If that makes sense," ought to be a catchphrase for this game. The other part of the problem is that I'm very much used to writing for me; the point at which I would want to interject or interact if I were a player in my own game is when I'll put in a stop for somebody to react to it, and obviously the things that I'd go "hey, I'd want to react to that!" isn't going to be the same for when you, or Twelve, or Draco, or Valor, or DepressedSoviet would want to do it. It'll be a difficult habit to get out of, but I'll see what I can do on that front.

When I invariably stop a post to allow for people to react to stuff, and have failed to provide something that makes you go "aha, I shall react to this!", let me know.
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