Jack sighed. Dealing with primitives was always a pain. First this one said that she's not yet a member of Shocker+ (a given, really), then she said she was some gibberish primitive title, and then she unsheathed one of her swords before sheathing it again for some reason. Clearly, she was high on at least one of the drugs on this list.

Mentally filing away the answer to question one as "yes, absolutely", Jack spoke calmly, clearly, and purposefully.
"Alright, honey-- I want you to listen closely. You are on Earth, a planet that isn't yours. You are next to a pizzeria, and I am currently holding a job interview with you. You do want this job, don't you?"

Jack quickly returned to the professional tone, and continued the interview.
"Question two: are you currently working for, or have you ever worked for a military, militarized company, private military contractor, official criminal organization, street gang, or horde of the damned?"

Guts' head turned briefly to eye the new girl. Out of all the things to survive, it was a pair of girls? They must have taken a few lucky turns while everyone else was killed in the panic. He'd need a way to leave; at this rate he was liable to find another nest of trolls, on top of whatever caused these undead.

"Don't expect much help, if that's what you're after. Get outta town." he replied, looking at the ground. Stories below, dozens of corpses had already gathered, and begun to wander in every direction, shuffling against each other. Humming in curiosity, he lit and dropped a bomb below. The detonation took the legs off a few, and the others nearby began to shuffle to the source of the explosion.

Considering the sheer mass of metal, and testing quickly with her own ability, the Railgun came to a swift conclusion about the feasibility of the girl's plan: "I think it's fixed in place, I can't budge it."

The better idea, then, was simply to dig down until they got to whatever this metal was, rather than to try and bring it to them. Even if it wasn't completely immovable with enough force (she didn't want to try), it might be linked to a power network. In fact... now that she was close enough, moving it was a terrible idea.

"Whatever it is, there's power going to it. "

---

"We're both looking for a way out of here, we may as well stick together," the older of the two answered, continuing to be unphased by the man's lack of social ability. In the normal course of things, it wasn't like he was any worse than she tended to be, and his body count--especially of innocent people--probably wouldn't even compare to hers. That, and she came from a place where disagreement normally devolved immediately into fighting. Bad moods weren't a big deal.

"Yes, we're lost."

Guts obviously wasn't from here.

The girl paused for a moment, tilting her head when the warrior responded that he would not help. However, she was quick to shrug it off. There was a job she needed to do, and it involved ensuring the safety, and safe transport, of these individuals. They were not intended to be here, not at all. This place was sadly unadministrated, and strictly-speaking she could interact with the natives directly. This girl and this man, however, were not native to this dimension.

That was why their departure was required.

"You misunderstand," she began, "I am not seeking assistance, I am seeking to assist."

She paused for a moment, and as the pale girl spoke, she nodded.

"If you are lost, we should depart quickly," she continued. Her expression finally changed, becoming a somewhat annoyed glare as she glanced over her shoulder. When she spoke, her speech became less abrupt, more relaxed. "I don't know how many zombies are left, but they're irritating wastes of space and time and it would be nice to get out of here before any of them got anywhere closer."

"I wouldn't call them irritating." Guts said, dropping a brick over the ledge. "Hmmm."

"Anyways, if you really want to help, find me some turpentine. This building is swarming at the moment, and these monsters are softheaded, so locking them in and starting a fire should clear out most of them. Then we can pick off the leftovers." as he explained this, he picked up a wooden picnic table, and carried it to the ledge. Dropping it, he watched the furniture crash down below, snapping bones as it landed on the heads of several undead. The black swordsman gave a half smile.
"But before then, I can blow off steam getting to the bottom."

"If you want them burnt, we just need to get outside. I can light this place up," the white-haired girl stated confidently, certain in her ability to do something as simple as ignite a building. After all, she'd once started a forest fire beyond her ability to contain entirely by accident; anything as dry as a static building would be child's play to set off. She'd refrained at first for the obvious reason: burning a building down with no idea who or what was inside it was far from a good idea.

Arragoz Plizgin - Da Spess Bar

At first, the Greenskin was rather perplexed, with Aldo talking about an offer that he may not like. "Well, if I'z not gonna likes it, den wots da point of makin it, ya git?" However, the situation quickly changed when a humie named Sentoo Takkaharra stepped in, offering him a card that read 'Shokka Plus.' Dat sum kind uv' kustom Shokk Attack Gun? Whatever it was, it would have to wait, as the humie finally made it clear what the offer was, or, at the very least, Arragoz now knew that it involved fightin'.

"You'z gots it all rong, Aldo, I like dis offa already!"

In response to Takkaharra readying a weapon, the Kommando quickly prepped himself for a fight. Untying his headband from around his head, the Ork retied it to cover his mouth, before unholstering his slugga. "If'n itz a zoggin fight ya want, yer gonna get it, humie." Raising the gun, Arragoz decided to make the first move, loosing a salvo of bullets whilst bellowing the iconic war cry of his species.

As soon as Mr. Takahara came in, Julius knew things were about to go south. Sure enough, the situation escalated and now Julius was facing down a shoota.

Julius dove across the bar counter, narrowly ducking under, over, and around Arragoz's hideously-inaccurate volley. Relying on an all-too-flimsy barrier of fine mahogany and wood varnish to protect himself, Julius had to act quickly and rely on the fact that Arragoz would most likely be aiming at Takahara over him.

For Grodd's sake, Takahara, Julius thought to himself, as he drew a combat knife and his personal sidearm, what's with this "honorable" bullshit? He's an Ork! Letting him know that you're going to attack him is the worst possible action you could take with one! Now I have to pull your ass out of the fire!

Realizing that having to help Takahara out while fighting an angry Ork in hand-to-hand combat still wouldn't compare to when they had to bring Ingvar Bubonicus into the platoon, Julius sprang into action. He sprinted to the other end of the bar, and vaulted over the counter, placing him some distance behind Arragoz.

"Hey, greenskin! I'm offering a today-only discount on assassinations! Have a free sample!"
Julius cocked the hammer on his custom-built .90-caliber armor-piercing handcannon, and fired a pair of shots directly at Arragoz's back. The bullets, powerful as they were, would most likely not kill Arragoz. However, they were loud, painful, and hot enough to catch his attention. With any luck, Arragoz would have to split himself between stomping Takahara and shooting Julius.

The rapid-fire weapon. Hoping to make up for its inaccuracy by putting out more bullets. Classic Orc. Takahara kicked up a table, taking cover behind it and bringing down the Smart Phone on his belt. Thankfully, the reinforcement to his spine and ribcage necessary for his muscles to cope with the strain from early Shocker cybernetics protected him from anything too lethal as the bullets punched through the table... though he was going to need a hell of a massage later, and probably a visit from one of the clerics from Thunderbolt City.

"HENSHIN!"
Complete.

Thankfully, the Riotrooper gear had a very quick transformation. Crouching behind the table, he began firing over it at the ork's forearms, using his free hand to shine a laser pointer at a chart as the Faceless Corporate Drones moved between parts of the presentation. Even with the wounds he'd suffered, the old man was surprisingly quick on the draw.

"You see, Shocker+ is a new business venture by those of us who know what it's like to live for fighting. Who've spent our lives fighting foes stronger than us and walking away triumphant. It is a way for us- known colloquially as "mooks"- to use our expertise in administration and as footsoldiers, combatants, or henchmen to better the universe, fight ever-more powerful foes, and do so in a profitable, fiscally sustainable, and ecologically sound manner."

Morgan, having nothing in particular to accomplish for the UMMA as of yet, and her hypos having somewhat gotten such an upper hand of her that she required a strong moral principle to refrain from stepping into the street and methodically knocking people's hats off, counted it high time that she got her nose in a book.

Whether to practice her Rexcalibur incantations or peek into one of Robin's strategy textbooks, Morgan knew that a good read would drive off the spleen and regulate the circulation.

Shuffling across the carpet, gently running her fingers on the spines of each book in the shelf, Morgan chanced upon a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. She lifted her index finger and placed it again on the hard-cover corner of the book's spine and with a gentle flick pulled the book out of the shelf and sat on a chair, crossing her legs.

Morgan glanced up for a second. Shouldn't she be studying strategy? Morgan reasoned that too much of a single subject would burn out the mind and turn the cerebral cortex to gelatin. And so she continued with the stories of the Finches, the Ewells, the Radleys, the Cunninghams.

Morgan had started this book a little while ago, the last time she went to the public library during a lull of activity in which she wanted to take preventative measures as to deactivate her important neural connections. She decided she would try her hand at literature, as she had oft been absorbed in the practical texts in the Ylissean guard. Thinking back to that, she wondered how her father fared. Her retrograde amnesia triggered by the trans-temporal flux leading her to the Ruins of Time left her only with new memories of Robin, though those memories were full of pleasant moments and glorious victories. Of course, this was to be expected, with such an excellent father and tactician as Robin; despite her lack of memory, Morgan looked greatly up to her father and aspired to become a superior tactician because of him.

Morgan looked back down at To Kill a Mockingbird.

Why was it a "sin" to kill a mockingbird?

Well, they never did a single thing wrong. They sing. They share song. There is no reason to shoot, to kill.

Morgan reflected back to the Ylissean guard again. Gaius, the thief, admitted into the guard by Robin and Chrom. He had no desire to hurt (although Morgan remembers that Gaius had quite the sweet tooth and preferred plunders of candies). Another reason Morgan looked up to her seniors: their moral code. Although Morgan admittedly had a sadistic streak, she had a high sense of morals, imparted by her observation of her father.

Morgan memorized her page number and closed the small book, placing it on her chair's armrest, before opening up her Bolganone tome. She silently read the runes to herself, tripping on a pronunciation or two, going over them until she could nail them correctly.



The Serpent's Eye...

Dr. Facilier gathered his totems and trinkets. The African-American bokur polished his cane and drew some of his own blood into an amulet. A daily penitence for failing his "friends on the other side" with Naveen.

But the Shadow Eternity... Facilier, trapped in the spirit world, learned of their multiversal presence and bargained once more with the Loa to release him and serve their dark purposes in another way, to repay their debt ten, hundred, thousandfold.

Facilier placed his voodoo belongings into a black satchel, in preparation for his departure to Nox. He debated now whether or not to accompany other Shadow Eternity agents at Nox.

Arragoz Plizgin - Da Spess Bar

The Ork's opponent responded to his barrage in kind, making the fight into a proppa shootout. The beamy shots from the humie stung, but didn't do much more than singe the Greenskin's hide. As for the high-calibre rounds fired by the simian soldier, they did far more than that. Punching through the Ork's thick skin, they burrowed quite a ways in before stopping. Thankfully, they missed what little vital parts the Ork actually had, but it still 'urt lotz. Naturally, this inclined Arragoz to divert some of his attention to krumpin' Aldo as well. "Oi, fink fast, ya git!" Withdrawing a Buzzbomb from his backpack, the Kommando flicked off the pin, and tossed it over. Upon 'detonating,' it would release a swarm of Buzzer Squigs, which were best described as large, incredibly voracious bees with a maw of razor-sharp teeth. Quite effective, both in terms of lethality and instilling panic.

After doing this, the Greenskin redirected his attention to the humie, who was delivering a presentation on Shokka Plus. Surprisingly, it was not a weapon at all, instead being an organization of some sort. While Arragoz could certainly get behind livin' for fightin, especially the part about krumpin' stronger and stronger foes, he'd never cared much for manners related to teef. As for makin' da ooniverse betta, that essentially entailed more fightin', from the Ork's perspective, anyway. With all that in mind, the Kommando voiced his thoughts on the matter.

"I'll fink abowt it, but furst, I'z gonna krump ya."

With that, the Greenskin drew one of his choppas, readjusted his posture to make his shoulder face the humie, and proceeded to charge at the table 'e was hiding behind.

Shivani - Freddy Fazbear's

"Job?" she asked, tilting her head. "I don't know what has been sending me through these worlds but I don't know anything from beyond my home. I'm not here for a job, I've never taken Moon Sugar or Skooma and I don't even know what the rest of those drugs are. Not to mention, I stopped Skyrim's civil war almost single-handedly. The closest thing to a military you can pin on me is the Stormcloak Rebellion. Now, are you gonna tell me why this place is dangerous in ways I can understand?" She was obviously angry and was about ready to start heading back inside if he didn't give her any answers.

Flipping fuckjacks, this is just like taking in Ingvar! Why do these Warhammer mooks always have to use bugs?!

Swatting ineffectually and slashing astonishingly effectively at the swarm of flying squiggly things angrily buzzing around his head, Julius could do little to protect Takahara from Arragoz's charge. Until he dealt with those Buzzas, he'd be entirely incapable of helping out!

A thought crossed his mind: bugs hate the cold, right? He could use that!

In one swift motion fueled by panic, pain, and the uplifting force of a couple dozen fist-sized bees exerting force on him, Julius leaped over the bar's counter, sprinted through the kitchen, tackled a cowering sous-chef out of the way, and ran straight into the still-open freezer.

Immersed in the lastest in post-space-age cryogenic gases, the Buzzas were much less fierce and much slower. His thick hide protecting him from both the cold and the weakened Buzzas, Julius happily walked out and closed the freezer door behind him, trapping the Buzzas in a prison of hydrogen and frozen semi-meat products.


Jack crossed his arms, and filed the answer to question two away as "yes, I was in an insurgent organization and was exceptionally effective in tearing down my opponents".

"You're not getting in until you join up with Shocker+, lady. It's a fine job, you know. Good pay, missions you choose yourself, a chance to make the universe better for the sake of making it better, the only teleporter out of here in this universe..."

Jack caught that last line of his just as he said it. Hastily, he added "and don't think you can force your way in, honey. You'll have to go through fifteen of the multiverse's strongest, smartest, bravest soldiers just to get through the playplace. Now, do you want this job, or would you rather piss around on this backwater world and get yourself a job at Walmart?"

Once again, the professional tone and questions. "Question Three: What would you say is the trait you most need to improve on? Be Honest."

As Arragoz neared the table, he was met by a series of slashes from the Axel Raygun, now unfolded into a combat knife. The Corporate Drones scrambled to get to the next slide. The laserpointer highlighted a sample of guns, swords, axes, and other, stranger weapons.

I guess the Riotroopers really DO need better equipment. This stupid phone is in serious need of a tuneup. It's been over ten years since Smart Brain went under, so it's probably based on technology from... fuck, '98? It's chunkier than my old PDA!

"Did I mention the company's resources? We have bleeding-edge technology from militaries and corporations from across the universe."

The next slide showed bikes, several giant robots, and other wonderful vehicles. Takahara just tried to keep blocking the ork's slashes as he continued the presentation. One solid hit and he'd be good and hosed.

"Our company vehicles are some of the finest- and most affordable- in the universe! We even allow employees to use them for personal reasons!"

The next slide wouldn't have been out of place in a real estate commercial. A number of landscape shots of various cities, with a few Shocker+ members milling about in view.

"And our physical capital also includes our namesake of Shocker City, where our Chibu Corps crushed the Titans and made the world that much safer. The towering spires of Thunderbolt City, the shining jewel in the shithole of Athas. We also recently acquired Mitahara Town in what is now the World of Monsters, and we are in talks to expand operations to include the legendary Castlevania, the original Demon Castle of Count Dracula!"

Shivani - Freddy Fazbear's

"I don't care how good it is." she spat, glaring at him. "I want to go home and, for some damned reason, whatever is moving me between realms is not letting me. You're not the first to try to recruit me and you won't be the last, boy. I'm here for a reason and, until I find that reason, you better stay out of my way." She began heading back to the building, pushing him aside if he was in the way.

Once inside, she began wandering again, only to see one of them missing from the stage. "Oh, Daedra balls." she said, drawing her swords and looking around.

With a flash of light, Shivani would find herself outside the restaurant once more.

Two new interviewers sat on either side of Jack Morgan. The spider-headed one shuffled some papers before speaking up.

"Good work showing initiative coming here, recruit! You very nearly got yourself killed back there-- what were you thinking, showing up without a mask?! Did the recruiters not tell you about the guardbots' facial recognition software?"

The green insectoid shrugged. "Ah well, none of that matters. You got here, I guess we better get to the next step in the recruitment process."

"Are you currently using-- or have you ever used-- addictive drugs such as..."

Shivani - Freddy Fazbear's

Shivani glared at the new guys. She drew both her swords with a sigh that sounded more like a hiss. "I am going in there, mask or not, and I am going to find out what the hell is going on. If you have a mask for me, give it. Otherwise, leave me alone. I'm not answering any more questions." She turned towards the door again and took a couple steps before looking back over her shoulder. "I can handle those animal-tonics. One of them is already missing. If I get taken out of there again, I will not hesitate to attack." She put her hand on the door before turning to look at the three men. "So, do you have a mask?

Jack scoffed at the level of foolhardiness being displayed by Shivani.
"You're not getting a mask until you get hired-- that's the whole point of the recruitment process! As for the guardbots, lemme try to find the sales pitch old Sneery used... ah! There we go!"

Jack pulled out his PDA, and pressed a couple buttons on it. A jingly little tune started up, and a deep, robotic, handsome voice started speaking through the PDA.
"We at MegaCorp appreciate the lengths our customers will go to defend their homes-- that's why we created the Megacorp Trooper v.5! Fitted with new 'Combi-Arsenal' technology--fresh from GrummelNet--the MT5 is guaranteed to be prepared for every situation! Order now, and we'll give you another unit, ABSOLUTELY FREE! _{Supplies limited. MegaCorp is not liable for cases involving MT5 related to death, injury, and erectile dysfunction.}"

The jingly tune ended, and Jack looked at Shivani with pride in his eyes.
"Got Sneery to buy 'em off his old boss, and then we retrofitted the clunky old animatronics that were stored in the back, using these new 'bots. New felt lining, new servos, new soul retainers, new voice modulators, and they're ready for battle! That's just the kind of toys we here at Shocker+ love to play with, and they can be yours if you join up!"

Jack sighed with great satisfaction. He always loved talking about robots. Maybe it was the fact that they didn't waste time trying to barge into deathtraps because they were curious.

"Anyway, you're not getting in. As a private establishment, Shocker+ has the right to refuse service and access to anyone they please. If you do not leave, I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the police and have you arrested for trespassing."

Shivani - Freddy Fazbear's

Shivani glared at them with a frown. "What?" she asked, frowning. "What does any of that mean?" She still held both swords but was now a couple steps from the door. "What do you mean by soul retainers? You mean soul gems?" she was now more confused than mad, which only made her more mad.

It was then something intervened. Shivani disappeared, leaving no trace she was there except the men's memories.

She appeared outside of a shop of some sort. With a bit of curiosity, she entered the shop and began looking around, not knowing whose shop it was.

As Shivani disappeared in an ill-defined puff of mystery, Jack and his cohorts shrugged.
"One less criminal for the cops to deal with, I guess. I'm going back inside."

Sure enough, Jack went back inside, and spoke to Sindibad, who was presently poring over some unknown document on his tablet.
"Hoi, Sandstorm! What's that you've got there?" Jack said, giving Sindibad a startling slap on the shoulder.

"Hoi, cap'n," Sindibad said, briefly tearing his attention away from his tablet. "It's the address book I uploaded. I'm trying to pick out some people to help out on this 'Eye of the Serpent' thing. I'm looking for people from relatively low-tech universes, so their intrusion won't be seen as so much of an interdimensional incident."

Jack peered at a small index card Sindibad had been writing on. On it were a list of spooky-sounding names and their respective occupations. "Lessee... who're the people on this list?"

"Well, cap'n, they're the people I think are decent candidates. Uh, we already know Hecuba, but I'm waiting for Julius on that one. There's this guy called Quan Chi--"

"Stuff that one," said Jack, a look of irritation crossing his face, "we're not talking to Quan Chi. I've seen old Sneery playing Mortal Kombat in the rumpus room, and that guy sure as hell didn't look trustworthy there."

"But cap'n, didn't you see Deadly Alliance?" said Sindibad, hearkening back to the many hours he spent playing anachronistic video games from universes heavily under the effects of the ubiquitous concept of Recursive Canon. "If Quan Chi's helping you out--"

"Yes, I saw Deadly Alliance," said Jack. "Did you see what comes after that?"

"Well, no--"

"Good! Deception was terrible! Long story short, don't call Quan Chi because Quan Chi will ruin everything."

Sindibad rolled his eyes, and crossed a name off the list. "Aye aye, cap'n. Next up, I got this vodou practitioner. Name's 'Doctor Facilier'."

"Doesn't ring a bell. Hang on a second..." Jack hollered, shouting out to the assorted mooks enjoying themselves "Hey! Any of you ever hear of a Doctor Facilier?!"

There was a pause, as the mooks processed what Jack had shouted. Finally, one mook stood up, and called back. "He's from my daughter's favorite movie!" Smiling confidently, Jack beckoned the mook over.



On closer inspection, the mook was evidently from a post-apocalyptic universe. The pink mohawk, reinforced leather jacket, and bolted-on cyberdeck all but confirmed he had every reason to savor old world media when he was rescued from post-society. With an unusual amount of enthusiasm, the mook gave Jack and Sindibad a brief recap on the plot.

"Uh, let's see... Dr. Facilier is the villain of The Princess and the Frog, which is set in New Orleans in the 1910's. Uh... the last thing that happened to him was him being kidnapped by... logos or moai or something. Yeah, gimme a chance to talk to him and I could probably convince him to help out."

Jack nodded. "Thanks, Hi-Hat. We'll call him up now, maybe we can call him back when we get a location. Oh, hey-- since he's from the 1900's, he probably won't know what a telephone is. You'll probably want to use a voice modulator to make it seem like you're actually summoning him instead of calling him up."

Sindibad dutifully tuned the HAM radio to the frequency listed on the index card. After a brief period of static, the noise on the radio changed to a heavy drumbeat, punctuated with the sounds of anguished screaming. On reflection, Hi-Hat realized that it was probably the second-worst hold tune he's ever had to sit through.

Finally, a voice answered the radio. It held a strange, bombastic baritone, like an announcer in an old jazz club. The voice seemed to be... anticipating something. "Heyo, boy! You come here to chit-chat, or you got an inmate you wanna talk to?!"

Hi-Hat opted to go for a more dramatic flair, and set the voice modulator on the radio receiver to a deep, low, bass. "I want to speak to the one called Facilier."

There was a brief pause, as the voice on the other end appeared to take inventory of something. "Which Facilier? We got dozens! D'you want Facilier the first, or Facilier the latest?"

Hi-Hat briefly considered asking for them all, but realized that speaking to several damned souls would be significantly worse than speaking to just one. "Get me the latest one, please."

"Sure thing. Hang on a lick, we'll get you your boy! 'Course, we can talk prices when he's done!"

Again, the drum beat. As Hi-Hat placed his hand on his chin in blank exasperation, something was going across the multiverse. A link between worlds was being sent to a little-known vodou shoppe in a little-known universe, but would reach its intended destination quickly. Hopefully, this Dr. Facilier fellow would be glad to help with this Nox situation.