Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Dusty
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Dusty Sorta Sharp

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Kutar Zema




Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Sini
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Sini

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Darth Shaq has one stamp.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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Ellri Lord of Eat / Relic

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ok, @Dusty... a few questions and a couple of smaller bits and some thoughts...

  • Out of curiosity... Is there a reason you chose such great height? Anything you intend to play on/explore ICly with that?
  • Your Force technique tree feels somewhat "flat" with everything he knows being intermediate or higher.
    • Perhaps add in some differentiation for it?
    • Something he's not as good at?
    • We would think he has not trained equally well in all the ten techniques on Intermediate level.
    • Additionally, he appears to have zero natural talents, is that intentional?
  • The description you have for his use of the Force is practically textbook Force Rage. Thus we would ask that you add that to his list. Probably around advanced level.
  • We would also like you to consider altering the level of his Force Drain down a bit, but make it a natural talent, to balance out the addition of Force Rage.
  • Why does he have a faulty cybernetic arm? has Darth Embrus refused him to acquire anything more reliable?
  • Could you add something about that arm to his flaws?
  • We like the fact that he is a Sith that is satisfied where he is in the hierarchy. So many people forget that while Sith generally desire to improve always, not all seek to rise through the ranks.

Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Dusty
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@Sini

Hahaha thanks. That's definitely going to be his Darth name.

@Ellri

Since the meat of this is on the force section, I'll just post the revised version here.



The key addition, one I admittedly overlooked was a greater explanation of his lack on innate talent. I think it was briefly mentioned in his 'interview' but I made it clearer here. I also added a basic abilities section to the list as asked, to flesh out his force abilities a bit more, just added a few random ones from the provided list. Lastly I changed his final tab to well-trained talent and added Force Rage as requested.

  • Why does he have a faulty cybernetic arm? has Darth Embrus refused him to acquire anything more reliable?


Yes actually, Darth Embrus is very displeased with his student at the moment. On a writing level I want his arm to be something of a character development award later on. So when he overcomes his failure its something he earns, and getting a 'better' cybernetic arm will represent this growth.

  • Out of curiosity... Is there a reason you chose such great height? Anything you intend to play on/explore ICly with that?


Yes actually, there should be a number of things that come up. One writing point for example is his preference towards larger bombers with plenty of room for activities over compact fighters that are meant to house six feet of leg room at most. He's gonna have trouble like that constantly, little Padawans hiding in little hidey-holes he can't follow, getting sniped from hundreds of meters away because he stands out like a sore thumb, a considerable lack of stealth capabilities. Moreover I wanted a character that would be physically intimidating on the simple merits of being way to large.


Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Heat
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Heat Hey, nice marmot

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Moreover I wanted a character that would be physically intimidating on the simple merits of being way to large.


But still easily fell to (but not finished by) eventual badass battlemaster Kyla Vondin.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ellri
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Ellri Lord of Eat / Relic

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you had a reason for choosing the size and such. Good. Goood...

We could probably always find more points to nitpick at, but the character is pretty decent, so...
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Heat
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Heat Hey, nice marmot

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@Dusty has my approval too. Welcome aboard!
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