i'll go first. one time, when i was (probably) 7 years old, my family were shooting fireworks for the fourth of july and one particular one scared my stepfather, and he said he "nearly pissed himself", and then i was running around saying "pissed"... and you can imagine what kind of a potty mouth i have these days...

when i was five i almost swallowed some of my parent's jewelry

When i was maybe four or five i was standing on a chair (Parents right next to me) and i was looking out a window and i fell (apparently a ghost pushed me which is what my parents say and the house was indeed creepy) and i hit my head on the window seal.... still got the scar on my forehead, but to be fair i was four or five.

I used to chew on batteries as a child. My parents did a horrible job of babysitting me (or being around at all, really) and I had no idea what kind of caustic materials it was made of. I used to like the smoothness and coldness of it in my mouth though.

I had a Digivice. Like a Digimon Tamagotchi thing. I don't remember what Digimon was on it, it's been too long, but it wasn't too different from this.



Thing took watch batteries and my grandfather didn't want to buy more of those for it when it died.

So I go "hey wait a minute. Batteries just give power. So does electricity."

Cut off the end of an electrical plug and started to shove it in there where the batteries go.

Anyway there was no fire, I didn't die, and it even turned on. Very briefly. And it was red. Black and white screen mind you, thing was destroyed.

Ehhh. This took me a while to think about.

I instant messaged some guy (who went to the same high school as me) about how I decided I was an atheist. He asked me to explain myself, and I have no memory of what I told him. I remember fumbling a response. And then, I proceeded to attend Church and contemplate the afterlife as if there was a God.

Why was it the worst decision I ever made?

Because, that mental digression became the worst. It’s such an uphill battle for something that’s already an uphill battle. Especially, when you’re a cradle Orthodox Christian. Never doing that, again. Ever. Way too many idiosyncrasies for my lazy bum that already has too many idiosyncrasies. And besides, I heard the flight to Escheton is easier in the long-run if you just keep at it.

So yeah! There yah go.

Congratulations! Give yourself a pat on the back! You made it to the end!

Stay gritty, my friends, and thnx for listening to my TED Talk.

_{For better context: Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding followed by some Andrei Tarkovsky film. Although, that may or may not clear-up any of your questions. In fact, it may just cause more, like: why does this person even exist? And bam! You’re contemplating life, again. Zing!}

There was a time when I disagreed with someone about something and gave a large explanation about why they were wrong going so far to provide logical reasons for it. Instead of her seeing my point, she called me a closed-minded child and cut me off. It was so awful, I cried for days.

I rolled my trading cars to be scrunched ’aposable’ warrior toys. An action figure just wasnt enough - I needed armies.

how about when i broke my elbow? roughly a few years ago, I'm thinking 4 or 5. I was on the trampoline in my backyard with my older cousin. I decided to do a she-hulk jump off it (I liked that character as she was a new fortnite character at the time. FYI I sucked at fornite but did play creative mode and stuff. I didn't move my elbow out of the way, so as I hit the grass I heard it crack. I lay there crying and my cousin got my mom. I manged to get to the basement door and laid my head on a stuffed bear crying. we went to a med express later that day. what a great experience! (it has since long healed)