Tabletop RPGs: Terrors of the Tabletop

[Dark Cloud]

Let me tell you the stupid legend of 4 kingdoms and 4 lords...

[Dark Cloud]

Let me tell you the stupid legend of 4 kingdoms and 4 lords...

@Blackmist16

Setting: A plane of 4 different realms with its own corresponding lord.
The Party: The brute Borpis (My 1st mate), a Ranger that I can't clearly recall, kobold Sorcerer/Dragon Apostle (me)...
Resident Power Gamer: Dre lets call him for short wanted to play a Magus...we begged and begged our benevolent GM to not allow this but our prayers went unheard. Dre loved to brag about his abilities and our GM allowed his character to be the high priest of....Nethys! You know Magic God? Ego amiright?
Backstory:Our party before meeting Dre's character, sailed upon the oceans blue! My Kobold Rethek'hep becoming fast friends with the first mate Borpis the Porpis. There is a different story relating to the seafaring adventures we went on but that is a story for another day. We set out for the kingdom my character hailed from: The Iron Kingdom ruled by the great dragon lord my master. Long story short the ancient dragon sent us to the forest kingdom to see the goings on.

How it went down: Oddly Dre's character (whom I forgot to mention is a tiefling) instantly (for no logical reason) found my character suspicious...so he interrogated me and the Ranger...at sword point!

The Fall of the Party: After the intense interrogation that took (I shit you not) 2 hours IRL the Ranger and I met up with Borpis and told him what went down...

"We're killin that sunofa bitch" said Borpis IC, our foolishness was to be our demise....

Two Deaths & One Narrow Escape: Our mistake was not preparing for the fight, we should have lit the temple he was in on fire and blockade the exits. But we were foolish and brash so we faced him like he was the final BBG of a dungeon. The first round was spent with us starting then Dre and his temple guard...and his familiar...a pseudodragon.

We should have killed him in his sleep or killed his familiar but we didn't, Borpis was stung by the pseudodragon as was the Ranger opening them to a Coup-de-Gra. I was the last standing I flung a spell uselessly and dodged the sting of the dragon while Dre killed my friends. Decisions were made I had one goal: Escape.

The End & Escape: I have been known to be lucky when it comes to my party members attempts to kill me. I will always love the spell that saved me: Fly. Several times I nearly succumbed to the sleep toxins but the dice gods took pitty on me that fateful day. I escaped barely to return to my kingdom to never return...

The End

[Dark Cloud]

I would like to hear you tales of horror and see if your experiences are worse or make my story look tame compared to my tale of woe. I'm curious about your stories of terror at the table!

[BangoSkank]

This one time in a Wild West D&D setting I was a very bad ass Variant Human Monk. It was my first D&D game ever with a few folks from RPGuild. I no longer have record of exactly what was happening but one of our party was a weird snake lady named something like Miss Prescott. We were investigating a weird ass cabin for some kind of bounty hunting group.

So we sneak up on the cabin and we hear weird rustling and talking noises coming from inside so we all get up on the door. We try listening in harder but it's still just weird rustling and moany talking sounds. So it's either zombies or people fornicating or zombie people fornicating. Cool, we know how to handle this.

We all get around the door in position. The plan is simple and also mad sick. Fully mad sick. My monk is going to spinning back kick the door off it's hinges and then rush in there with his shotgun and if there's anything in there that's undead and not fornicating he's gonna blast it while the others pour in with their six shooters and snakey bits and other cool shit.

I roll to Chuck Norris down the door and fail miserably. My bad ass Shotgun Monk missed a sick ass spinning back kick on a stationary inanimate door and instead very undramatically just opened it and rushed in.

The undead weren't for fornicating, we did shoot them. Then we came upon a ladder and my Bad Ass Monk failed a climb check and fell down the hole. At least he didn't negligently discharge his weapon into someone.

RIP Cowboy Monk

[Dark Cloud]

@BangoSkank Jeez that's rough.

[Kenshi]

The wizard who turned people to stone, a 2nd edition game, my brother was the DM.
This crazy wizard had a wand of petrifying, and the group (us ) were getting our ass kicked.
Someone had to be the hero, or everybody was gonna end up stoned.
Ironheart, my barbarian faced off with the wizard who levitate up off the ground out of my swords reach.
So, I took a chance, but right before that, I get hit by the wands Ray, and roll a lousy 1 on a save.
So I am slowly turning to stone, so I wasn't thinking straight, I thought if I killed the wizard, the spell would end, forgetting that he used a wand.
I took a chance, threw my sword with all my might, called shot -4 and I rolled a natural 20 ! Critical hit! Double damage! I pinned that damn wizard to the ceiling, and then turned to stone.
My friends had to lug this 6`8" barbarian statue back to town, and spend quite a bit of gold to get me turned back.