[OOC] The 'Correction' Operation

[Jessikka]

We are all put on this earth to do something. Now we are here to survive.

This is a survival-esque RP where a community of varied races fight alongside each other to stay alive.

We are all a unit based mainly fight and adventure loving. At least that's what we're made to think...

Basic History

10,000 years ago a small, privately-funded lab in Michigan discovered a new breakthrough in advanced genetic engineering and Nuclear technology, causing a disagreement with the European Union and the American Government. Tensions rose as the Russian, Japanese and Australian authorities added their own input into the debate and eventually, the world was plunged into an all-out war to shut down all forms of the research. The American authorities grew restless, and on March 23rd - known now as "Rapture Day" - they unleashed their test subjects from hiding. Freakish, genetic mutations of ordinary people, with skin as thick as iron and muscles as strong as high carbon steel. Horrifically deformed and with an insane bloodlust, these failed experiments called 'Mistakes' ravaged the foreign armies, then American civilians, and eventually the entirety of America. From there they bred like rabbits, adapting at alarming rates, learning how to survive without the need for intravenous drips full of nutritional fluids and men in lab coats documenting their pulse.

It was the European Union which decided to band together to maintain civil living and they took appropriate measures when testing to make sure every experiment still strongly resemble and connect to Humans. These became the warriors who put up a project called "The Correction Operation" In which the warriors gather in the 'Mistakes' and attempt to tame them and some that still somewhat resemble humans attempt to get reversed. This rarely works and any who do survive has been labeled the "Nephilim" to mean "Touched by the angel" or "Children of god" In where such miricles have taken place.

After the war ended, great unease among the continents settled and 'Mistakes' invade frequently. New super-soldiers were made, creating new races to fight, normal humans were trained to fight their fears. They did. Now the 'Correction' Operation has been in place for over 110 years and at 14 years of age children were forced to choose between war and civility. Those who chose civility will live in the city as civilians. Those who did not, took to training instantly.

3 miles away from the city border a large tall wall protects the city and those who are trained fight away any outsiders and protect the city, stopping fights to take place in the city. Generally being the police and the soldiers. All soldiers leave the force after 40 years of age and live peacefully after.

Life within the Base is simple. We train. We guard. We fight. There are 6 Trainers, to lead 6 divisions, all have to be at least 18. The 6 divisions are :
Stealth - It's a scouting team of assassins, master of their craft and great at hiding themselves. They use many weapons, ranging from daggers to polearms however nothing too heavy.
Aerial [UNPLAYABLE]- Lead mainly by the Alkire, they take down any in the air battles using grunt force. Uses any weapons.
Offence - Grunt force on the floor, a team of strong warriors. Uses heavy weapons like two-handers or lances.
Defense [UNPLAYABLE]- They guard the city, patrolling and ceasing any in-city attacks or defending the walls.
Ranged - The ranged attackers. Uses bows, guns, chakrams any further ranged weapons.
Engineering [UNPLAYABLE]- Helicopter/plane fighters. Bomb and gadget fighters. They help fix things around the city too.

Races

Human - Can take on any human appearance. Eye colour changes from a normal colour to an electric/neon version of said colour. Eg green turns to neon green.
Special abilities - Highest in most combat aspects, except aerial and ranged. Crazy - Willing to do almost anything for the thrill, like jump off buildings and land safely.

Alkire - Flexible human appearance, however they have wings, often of a bird or a bat/dragon.
Feather colours vary from - Black, Brown, White, black and white, White and brown.
Bat/Dragon wing skin colours vary from - Black, dark red, dark blue, dark purple.
Special abilities - Aerial attack, often fighting whilst in flight. With bat/dragon wings there may be bone-extension like claws at the wrist/elbow

Eliron - Human adjusted, has all the same aspects of a human with exception to animal-like eyes.
Eye type can vary from - Any cat eye, any reptile eye.
Special abilities - Ranged bow/gun based attacks, good snipers.

Par Cretura Torso upwards is human, waist down is animal.
Animals not allowed are - 'Mistakes', Fish.
Special abilities - DEPENDS ON ANIMAL, RESEARCH

Base Layout

A train takes you above the city to a building rooftop, it's.. Not slowing down? You look out the doors and spot people leaping to the rooftop, drawing a breath you step back and do the same. "The only way in is to jump." you hear and get pushed to the edge and you glance down, a hole leads to blackness. Will you jump?

A net is at the bottom of the hole, around the net is a large hall with tables and a podium at the front, this must be the meeting and dining hall. By the back wall and to the left there's a hallway that followed leads to a large towering room called the training chasm. At the back wall and to the right there's another hallway which splits into four, Boys' dorm, Girls' dorm, Boys' Washroom, Girls' washroom. At the front of the Meeting room there's two further hallways, one leads to the mental training room, the other leads to the weapons room and armoury. No-one of initiate rank has seen the labs.

Ranks

These are the only available ranks. RANK DOES NOT MEAN YOUR TEAM. Please choose a team listed in the Basic History Tab. Order of authority goes from Highest to Lowest (EG - a rank with the number 4 beside the name can only boss around people with a number 5 or above)

1.Trainers - Leaders of their teams they are in charge and what they say goes. They train initiates and even warriors.
[*] Amelia Talirin*STEALTH*
[*]Maria 'Bullet' Hathaway*RANGED* [OFFENCE - OCCUPIED]

2. Deputies - A second in command, training to become leader when the other one retires or dies. [ Does not require previous Veteran Ranks ] (3 spots left!)

3.Veterans - Have to have done at least 10 years of service!

4.Medics - A medic for the fighters, may even be sent to the field, Initiate training required for this rank.

4.Warriors - An average rank, you've passed your training and are a fully fledged warrior.

5.Initiates - The starting rank, one of the lowest ranks.

TEAM-SPECIFIC RANKS: These ranks are only obtainable in specific teams. Whilst any of these ranks can don a warrior outfit and take the battle head-on, most team members are specifically trained for their certain team. If they choose to play the role of their team-specific rank over the usual 'Warrior' rank, they gain different benefits and drawbacks in the fight, and usually have to be backed up by Warriors, Initiates or Veterans.

Stealth
4(3 if Veteran) Shadows - The Stealth Team's equivalent for a 'Warrior', they have the same rank and benefits of a Warrior, but excel in light armour and quiet movement. If undetected, they are effective in battle, but when caught in the open, they pay the price dearly for wearing less armour than a normal soldier. A Shadow cannot work alone in a battle, and has to be backed up by fully-armoured soldiers. The only time they're permitted to work by themselves are in Stealth-only Missions.

Ranged
4(3 if Veteran) Snipers - A sniper is deadly at long range. They work well with the Stealth team, who generally escort Snipers to their vantage points unharmed. Giving up their normal ranged weapons for a sniper rifle, a tripod and lots of ammo, these additions to the team can deal some serious damage if they're at long range. On the other hand, if they're caught unawares at close range, they'll have to rely on their fists or a fully loaded pistol with extremely limited ammo until help arrives.

Offensive
4(3 if Veteran) - TO BE ADDED

Application

See Accepted applications here for help!

IC

Name -
Age -
Gender-
Sexuality -
Rank -
Race -
Appearance -
Personality -
Backstory -
Fighting Specialty -
Weapons of choice -
Strengths(Max 3) -
Weaknesses(At least 3) -
FEARS (VERY IMPORTANT - Bold main fear- at least 4)

OOC

Acivity (1-10) -
Do you understand the History? -
Do you understand the Base Layout? -

My application -

IC

Name - Amelia Talirin
Age - 19
Gender- Female ♀ (CODES : Alt + 11 = ♂, Alt + 12 = ♀ )
Sexuality - Hetrosexual
Rank - Trainer
Race - Human
Appearance - A tall, lithe girl with short, straight and side-swept hair. Green eyes and a few freckles over the bridge of her nose. She's often in black uniform with a red ribbon-belt tied loosely around her waist to symbolize her leadership place in the Stealth team.

PLEASE OPEN

Whew! Sorry if they're rubbish! ._.

Personality - She's a tough leader to say the least, constantly working everyone to their limits, however to balance this harshness she is kinder in person, she refuses to allow any of her initiates or warriors go through mental training without her present and will never turn someone in need of help down. She's sarcastic and funny and outgoing. She's like a big sister to a majority of the members of the 'Correction' Operation, even though she may be younger than them. She's the newest Stealth leader as the previous died before Amelia even turned 20 and may be slightly under-experienced.
Backstory - Born into the civilian live she watched the 'Correction' operatives leap around the city gracefully, but most of all she attempted to spot the stealth force. She was well off, as an apothecary's daughter she got medicines when she was ill and the high pay allowed a decent supply of food, so she trained, with every stick found. She got a large stick and called it a sword, broke it in half and dual wielded "Daggers" and even attempted archery, in which she failed at.

By the time she was ten she was tall and strong and she changed her look from pretty little girl to strong warrior in an attempt to fit in as soon as she joined the force. I mean that's what she was going to do! She flipped her hair to the side and cut it short, the ends jagged and uneven but that's what happens when it's cut by an inexperienced apothecary owner. At 14 she joined the Correction operation straight off and, due to her previous 'training' she took well and got a warriors promotion within a year, however back then there was a large attack at the time and promotions were easier to get. This changed a year later as some 'experienced' fighters had poor fighting abilities and required further training. By 17 she got a deputy's spot and loyally followed the previous leader - Darren Ollismith - until he died abrubtly in a 'mistakes' surprise attack. Amelia, under-prepared and under-qualified took the lead of the Stealth team and has been learning from other leaders since.

Fighting Specialty - Stealth.
Weapons of choice - Dual wielding swords and daggers.
Strengths(Max 3) - Stealth, agility, fear resistance
Weaknesses(At least 3) - Brute force, ranged attacks, A pressure point on her side, by her stomach, Heavy weapons
FEARS (VERY IMPORTANT- Bold main fear- at least 4) - Water, harassment, rejection/loneliness, fighting dogs

OOC

Acivity (1-10) - 8-10??
Do you understand the History? - Yep!
Do you understand the Base Layout? - Yes again.

Interest Check here

Hello! I see you're looking at my RP, Sorry if things change and I ask of anyone to change their application for said reason, this is sort of WIP so it can be a better RP for everyone here! I will make announcements on what's changed in separate posts to make it clear for you all!

[Stitches]

The District
A large, sprawling city walled in by massive steel walls in a perfect circle and encompassed by treacherous mountains that even the Mistakes have difficulty maneuvering. The frontline, as it's called, sits on the eastern side, and it is where the Base resides. Whilst the city is compressed into a certain portion of this walled-off area, there is a large expanse of flat and empty land between the Wall and the City just in case the civilians are threatened with an all-out invasion. Under the mountains are emergency shuttles lead to a secondary underground city, filled with supplies and resources to rebuild and reclaim their home if such an invasion occurs.

Whilst it has the potential to be full of crime, It's impossible to do so with the Defence team breathing down the neck of almost every single scrap of the City. Those who break the law are taken away and never seen again. It's very propaganda-heavy, the most important part being the national anthem, which is played almost everywhere. Despite that, people tend to get along pretty well..but there's a clear divide between civilians and soldiers. The two classes only mix with the veterans, those who are 40 or over and return back to their homes intact. They're generally well-respected and play a major role in keeping the sharing system active, and keeping crime rates down. People respect the over 40s.

The actual grounds of the City involve a large, dusty and flat plain from years of construction and trampling of the grass. Outside of the City it is a windswept wasteland which slowly turns into a vast, and thick, forest full of Mistakes.

As for the technology, the Engineering Team pride themselves on their security system. The district is not only fitted out with security cameras which set off alarms when tampered with -and- lock all doors in a 5 metre radius, but it ranges as far as microphones on the walls to pick up conversation, and loudspeakers peppering the lamp-posts to spew out propaganda at every opportunity. The TVs only show 2 channels - the News, and a channel all about Public Service Announcements.

Good food is difficult to come by, along with organic exotic luxuries like silk or recreational drugs. Most of the meals are mycroprotein-based, with artificial vitamin supplements added to them. Those who can afford it get the luxury of sugary foods, but in order to get these rare supplies the Aerial team has to import them, and the Aerial team's cargo is closely inspected by the Defence Team.

The Top Dogs - NPC list

Michael Rookwood: Defence Team Trainer, he's the public face of the Government. Respected and feared, his sneering visage looms over almost every street corner in posters, his influence found all over the streets and in the military itself. From him spawned the colloquial phrase "Rookwood Watches", which is meant to be a sign of patriotism.

Melody Sparks: Engineering Team Trainer, generally shy and quiet, but vastly intelligent. She makes sure everything in the District is running smoothly, and the blame lies on her alone if it isn't.

"Ace": Aerial Team Trainer. He is, assuredly, the weirdest Trainer in all of the District, keeping his team practically in the air 24/7.

Teresa: Head Chef. Those caught stealing more than their fair share of rations will be reprimanded! (NB: Whilst Teresa is actually 'Head Ration Dispenser', she tends to hit people with a ladle for not calling her a head chef. Not even Rookwood messes with her on that lone matter.)

Scarlet: Talk about Scarlet, get shot. Simple as.
More to be added.

App

GUEEEEESSS WHO'S THE CO-HOST
IC



"One shot, one kill."

Name - Maria 'Bullet' Hathaway

Age - 29

Rank - Ranged Trainer

Race - Eliron (Silver feline eyes)

Appearance - Long, straggly, silver hair tumbles down the back of Maria 'Bullet' Hathaway, a long fringe framing her piercing silver eyes. Her skin is pale, giving the impression of an albino standing before you. She usually wears her military uniform, and a red scarf to visually express her role as a trainer, or leader. On other occasions, one would be able to find her in a set of pale blue PJs whilst she wanders around the base. They're torn and muddied, and rumour has it that she once fought off a horde of Mistakes using only her pyjamas, no armour, and a pistol late one night at the Base.

Personality - Much to the irritation of Amelia Talirin, the Stealth trainer who unfortunately has to work hand-in-hand with the ranged team, Maria has a hard time grasping the severity of situations. She's usually quite outgoing and friendly, and despite being older than Amelia, sometimes a little bit childish. She takes delight in the little things and likes to make jokes.

Of course, the -very- moment you're assigned into her team, you'd notice that her easygoing nature is a farce. She isn't clumsy and dipsy; on the contrary, she's very cunning and almost equally as intelligent as she is agile. She generally doesn't have any issues keeping her soldiers in line because of her creative punishments.

Backstory - After joining the military 12 years ago, Maria started to show skill almost from day 1. Her odd determination fueled her passion to rise up in the ranks, almost having a big game with the entire situation. The amount of punishments she received were immense, and it became doubtful whether or not she was ever going to make it past "Warrior" rank. At the age of 17, Maria lowered her cheery guise a little, and dared to let her superiors see the mass of working cogs behind those silver eyes.The authorities liked what they saw and gave her a promotion to 'Deputy' 3 months later, where she started training the fresh recruits.

It became apparent now that she was overtaking her leader in terms of intelligence, having to correct him on various accounts. After a breach in the defences that caused a surprise attack and killed Darren Ollismith along with various other adept soldiers, The leader of the Ranged team was given an early retirement and Maria was promoted to the new leader.

This surprise attack caused the famous rumours of her 'Pyjama Battle' - it is said that she got up in the dead of night, and rather foolishly neglected to put on her armour because there wasn't enough time. Grabbing a couple of hand-pistols, she took the lead of the few struggling defence warriors who were awake at the time and added some new holes into the Mistakes swarming over the walls. Once her ranged team caught up, they found Maria fist-fighting a mistake who was pinning her down to the ground, out of ammo and grinning like a maniac.

Perhaps as a sign of her leadership abilities, Maria wears her pyjamas around the Base whenever there's nothing too serious going on. According to her, she wears them " 'Cause they're comfy."

Strengths(Max 3) - Aim, Intelligence, Observation.

Weaknesses(At least 3) - Strength, Poisons, Paralysis.

FEARS (VERY IMPORTANT- Bold main fear- at least 4) - Spiders, Blindness, Suffocation, Clowns.

OOC

Acivity (1-10) - 10 'cause y'know I'm a cohost~
Do you understand the History? - I bloody well hope so~~~
Do you understand the Base Layout? - Kinda. I'll learn it more in time.

[Jessikka]

I don't need to point out who it is I'm talking to since my thread is so abandoned! However! Other than a few confusing mistakes which are mainly grammar, your relation to the general idea is admirable. Please DO learn the layout as it's sort of very important.

Accepted!

[Stitches]

Jessikka said
Other than a few confusing mistakes which are mainly grammar, your relation to the general idea is admirable.

Jessikka said
Please DO learn the layout as it's sort of very important.

I'M ON IT, JESSIKKA MA'AM.

[Jessikka]

Stitches said
I'M ON IT, JESSIKKA MA'AM.

[Spriggs27]

I saw the Interest check and was interested, I'll work on a cs

[Jessikka]

(Yeah new people!)

I look forward to it!

[Hovelmeier]

Hey, Jessikka! It's Nathaniel (Brockyfang) here under the request of Nyzath!

I hear you need a "Trainer" for the main solders of the Offensive Team? I would be happy to take up that role, if, of course, you trust me enough :)

[Wreck]

-null-

[Jessikka]

Heckie yeah! Make an app, please!

[Wreck]

Jessikka said
Heckie yeah! Make an app, please!

Haha, working on it.

[Spriggs27]

Name: Ashley " Ash " Stryker

Age: 36

Rank: Veteran/Ranged

Race: Human

Appearance: Ash has tanned attractive skin, with a stoic but beautiful facial features, she has bright blue eyes that oddly change to a bright blood red when she get angry, she had a small black mole under her left eye, she has long flowing purple hair that stops at her lower backside, and most of it covers her forehead just above her eyes. Ash has an athletic build with strong leg muscles and curvaceous figure with well-endowed breasts, she has a slim waist, flared hips, and round rear. She has various scars along her back, chest, and abdomen, on the back of her neck she has a bar code tattoo that she had gotten with her unit.

The clothes she usually wears is a light armored version of the standard operations uniform, with lace up black boots, with a black balaclava that shows her bright blue eyes, along with a pair of black leather gloves. It would only be on Rare occasions that she would be seen wearing black short sleeved button up shirt showing her cleavage, with dual shoulder holsters holding one automatic pistol and semi-automatic pistol, she wears a pair of khaki pants with her same lace up boots but with the strings colored blue, with a silver wrist watch on her left wrist.

Rough appearance

Personality: Ash keeps her self stoic both mentally and in facial expression, it comes from a couple of things in life that happened to her, under her stoic farce she has posttraumatic stress of losing her entire unit, but with enough medication she got over it somewhat but is still plagued by the past from time to time. Unlike everyone else she doesn't understand jokes and has a very dry humor.

Ash is very skilled in hand to hand combat and firearms, having a vast knowledge of firearms and how to use them, she is also extremely intelligent and crafty, she is so skilled in both the two fighting styles that she can mix both up almost simultaneously. She harbors a lot of love for her single child, and she would kill anyone that would dare mess with her kid. Without her medication she can be very different and violent from little things, and she won't hesitate to just pull her gun on whatever is giving her problem and just shoot it.

Back story: Ash was one of the children brought up living the life of war, she was trained in shooting and hand to hand combat, and excelled in both being the top in her class and in her squad, when she reached the age of 20 she and her squad was assigned to be escort for scientist that would journey out of the city and out of the area to gather new research materials. On their first mission their helicopter was shot down, their pilot and co-pilot were killed, they slowly had to journey back to the city but almost everyday they lost someone, till it was just Ash on her own, while she was on her own she traveled day and night killing anything that gotten in her way between the city and when she had gotten back she climbed the wall free handed and was brought back into the city.

When she had a psyche analysis test they found out she had ptsd and gave her a temporary discharge to get herself together, during that time she did manage to get some of her sanity back and fell in love with a man that was a civilian weapon smith, that built weapons for military. Soon her discharge was extended after she had gotten pregnant and given birth to two twins, Ash and her husband took care of both their children, when the twins turned four, Ash had gotten a call asking if she would return to duty, she told them she would have to think about it but said she would most likely report back to duty.

Weapons of choice: H&K 45, Glock-18

Fighting Specialty: Ranged mostly

Strengths: Strength, Endurance, Firearms

Weaknesses: Stealth, explosives, Heavy weapons

FEARS:

-Death of any of her children (it would more than likely make her crazy)

-Seeing the City in Chaos or completely destroyed.

-Losing her entire squad (self explanatory)

-Being lost outside the city (Self explanatory )

OOC

Acivity; 8,5

Do you understand the History? - Yes

Do you understand the Base Layout? - Kinda

[Jessikka]

Wreck, please see

Strengths -

»Smooth-talker- For one reason or another, Haven attracts all kinds of people. Fortunately for him, he has a natural ability to know how to get things from these people by charming means. Because of this combined with his physical appearance, he usually has someone around that has taking a liking to him. Since he's bisexual, he has no problem gaining what he wants from either sex -- in the bedroom or out.

»Like a bull in a china shop- This could be considered a strength or a weakness, but Haven excels at violence and making sure he gets a kill in (metaphorically or physically) in order to give himself credit for doing something. He doesn't stop until he accomplishes the thing he was set out to do, and if it involves more illicit activities he'll make sure to save a slice of the glory for himself.

»Intimidating- Haven has a very strong, fearful presence around people who trust him or are enamoured by him simply because he looks the part. A nasty side glance and society might place him upon a wicked pedestal.

» "You name it, I'll shoot it"- He has extensive knowledge in shooting most types of guns and weaponry, however he's his best handling mid-size and heavy weapons, thus his position and rank. Not really important??

» Protective - Haven feels obligated to protect and care for others that he likes to be around, which is rare. He values the lives of others way more than his own and this in turn makes him a productive soldier that genuinely cares for those that he's fighting for. However, he can be easily manipulated by females or attractive males that fawn over him.

» Onion- Despite having a disgusting and angry personality, Haven has a type of depth that sometimes rears it's head in unexpected ways in awkward situations. Whether or not he realizes it, he's extremely wise and can offer counsel to those who ask in a specific type of way.
COULD GO IN PERSONALITY!
Weaknesses -

» Paranoid- Haven thinks the world is out to somehow destroy him and everything he cares about. It's quite annoying to some people including his teammates. Could definitely hinder his battle techniques and puts him at a higher risk for accidentally unloading friendly fire.

» Victim- This is another attribute that puts people off who don't know about him personally. Haven is quick to assume the role of a victim, thinking that each insult is an attack on his character, and puts him on the defensive rather quickly. A hearty blow to his pride, and you've got yourself a wet blanket.

»Volatile- Haven is extremely hot-headed, and unsurprisingly this causes him to blow up at seemingly insignificant things, like someone leaving their things laying around in his space or somebody calling him a bad name. This part of his personality makes him very weak as a role-model and leader.

» Sickly, but ferocious- Years of hard drugs have hardened his veins and made him susceptible to heart disease, lung cancer, and a slew of other issues. He's afraid of going to the doctor to solidify his fears, however, he can't exactly run for long periods without almost collapsing.

First of all, what team is your character going to be in?

A few notes on your backstory, I see that you said you'd changed the history but I'm going to have to make a few notes? If you wouldn't mind.

Your character would have to have been... Nine? For his addiction to become as severe?

Although your reasoning to be an older recruit is pretty sound, the police would have hunted you down, since it's like a tradition, you'd be breaking the rules? That's why I used a set age, really

I did sort of say 3 maximum, maybe get rid of the ones I scored out? Or whatever you feel would match your character!

These can be easily fixed though!

1. Your characters addiction could be less severe and the strange attitude can be from street fighting or other hardening activities you'd said you indulged in. Also cocaine would be hard to get now, any cocaine would go for thousands, which, being poor, might be hard to get!

2. You were late to the ceremony?

3. See the scored out strengths that I put in the hider above and consider removing those or some of the others!

Please don't get discouraged! It's just you application has a few minor mistakes that I'd just like to see you fix, alright?

[Stitches]

Spriggs

On their first mission their helicopter was shot down, their pilot and co-pilot were killed, they slowly had to journey back to the city but almost everyday they lost someone, till it was just Ash on her own, while she was on her own she traveled day and night killing anything that gotten in her way between the city and when she had gotten back she climbed the wall free handed and was brought back into the city. When she had a psyche analysis test they found out she had ptsd and gave her a temporary discharge to get herself together, during that time she did manage to get some of her sanity back and fell in love with a man that was a civilian weapon smith, that built weapons for military. Soon her discharge was extended after she had gotten pregnant and given birth to two twins, Ash and her husband took care of both their children, when the twins turned four, Ash had gotten a call asking if she would return to duty, she told them she would have to think about it. Two days later, after she had gotten her call from the military, her husband had a heart attack while behind the wheel of his car, one of their kids was in the car with her husband and died when the car crashed into a street light fell on it. After that day Ash called the military back telling them that she will return to duty as soon as she can, when she got back into action she was told that she would have to take antipsychotics, she didn't argue with them and takes the medication almost daily; letting the medication make her almost stoic.

A very decent, lore-abiding application and a nice concept in general, also very impressive to be able to make out of what patchy history and facts we've been spewing forth whilst you were writing it! It's a bit of an improvement on our behalf - we'll try to make a more concise "history and background info"for all of you, but if you've read it all carefully, you'd notice how...well, messed up the District is. -Very- dictatorship-styled, and the Defence Team get in on everything.

Things that you'll have to alter, Spriggs:

● It looks like Ash has had a pretty tough life, and whilst the Squad part was understandable and medication would've been taken for it...they wouldn't have let Ash back on the team after the car crash. Logically, they would've let Ash back in by the skin of her teeth after being prescribed anti psychotics - nobody wants a crazy soldier in their army.

● What team is she in? Ranged, or Offensive...? I'd assume one of the two, judging by her fighting style. (Join ranged, we're much better than Hovelmeier's team*)

*We're completely NOT biased against whichever team you choose, mind. They all basically work together in training, missions, etc.

---

Things that we're going to improve: We're going to add a quick 'opening' to the plotline, and get a floorplan for the base. Also, the CS template is under work, but only add the extra details if you want to. We do, however, want you both to take a look at fixing the alterations before being accepted. Thanks for applying, though; it's really inspiring for the two of us to see people interested enough to join up.

[RumikoOhara]

Someone's watched Divergent read the books or both
I'm surprised I don't see the Name Tris listed

[Stitches]

I've never seen divergent, or read the books, but Jess did yesterday. Since I am mainly working on Plot, I can't tell whether or not it is similar to Divergent. But I do know its all coming from my gloriously untainted braincase, so rest assured - it probably isn't over 70% Divergent ripoff!

[RumikoOhara]

No worries I read the first book yesterday an then saw the movie today

It was the part about :
A train takes you above the city to a building rooftop, it's.. Not slowing down? You look out the doors and spot people leaping to the rooftop, drawing a breath you step back and do the same. "The only way in is to jump." you hear and get pushed to the edge and you glance down, a hole leads to blackness. Will you jump?

That is pure Divergent

I loved the book and thought the movie rushed the plot as well as liberally changing many subplots from the book

I have read a good deal of the OOC an do find it very interesting
Presently I'm struggling with the either or decision of group as well as fears

If you should experience anything akin to writer's block I can offer my documented Attention to detail skill.
I love filling in the blank spaces, also as a military brat I am a font of operational information

My Father was SBS and I loved reading all the articles I could about them and any books dad left laying about

[Spriggs27]

Stitches said
A very decent, lore-abiding application and a nice concept in general, also very impressive to be able to make out of what patchy history and facts we've been spewing forth whilst you were writing it! It's a bit of an improvement on our behalf - we'll try to make a more concise "history and background info"for all of you, but if you've read it all carefully, you'd notice how...well, messed up the District is. -Very- dictatorship-styled, and the Defence Team get in on everything.Things that you'll have to alter, Spriggs:● It looks like Ash has had a pretty tough life, and whilst the Squad part was understandable and medication would've been taken for it...they wouldn't have let Ash back on the team after the car crash. Logically, they would've let Ash back in by the skin of her teeth after being prescribed anti psychotics - nobody wants a crazy soldier in their army.● What team is she in? Ranged, or Offensive...? I'd assume one of the two, judging by her fighting style. (Join ranged, we're much better than Hovelmeier's team*)*We're completely NOT biased against whichever team you choose, mind. They all basically work together in training, missions, etc.Things that we're going to improve: We're going to add a quick 'opening' to the plotline, and get a floorplan for the base. Also, the CS template is under work, but only add the extra details if you want to. We do, however, want you both to take a look at fixing the alterations before being accepted. Thanks for applying, though; it's really inspiring for the two of us to see people interested enough to join up.

Shes in Ranged.

Do you want me to completely change her history to something else or just alter it a little ?

Rumi Wasbi

[Jessikka]

Spriggs27 said
Shes in Ranged. Do you want me to completely change her history to something else or just alter it a little ?Rumi Wasbi

Just alter it a little, please ^-^

[RumikoOhara]

Kon'nichiwa Spriggs kun

Kon'nichiwa Jessikka sama