[IC] Broken Glass [Dark Wind & Blitz]

[Blitz]

((Prequel discovered a few months after the end. Adding it in for completion even though the rest is still missing.))
Kaelyn looked out the window. She could hear drops of rain pattering against the window. Lights from outside the dorm illuminating every drop. It was quiet. Peaceful. But it didn't come without a sense of unrest. Uneasiness. Her entire world felt, mostly quiet. But there was still that soft droning in the back of her mind. That ever growing ache in her heart. The body next to her made her feel warmth amongst that lonely cold.

She moved around underneath Landon's arm, looking at him.

"Are you awake?"

"Yeah." Landon's reply was short and in a soft voice. He was staring up at the ceiling sadly, deep in thought. He wasn't sure what emotion he should be experiencing. Happiness? Sadness? Regret? Anxiety? None of them seemed right, but at the same some all of them did. He felt all of them, but at the same time he felt nothing at all. Void of emotion, yet inundated with it.

"Why...?" he began, his voice trailing off, leaving the question incomplete.

His voice was soft, and he seemed deep in thought just like her. She wondered if he felt any of the same things.

"No reason... just wondering." Kaelyn said, trailing her finger down his chest. She put her head against his shoulder, resting there. But, she couldn't help but finish her curiosity. "Actually... I was wondering what you were thinking. About... what just happened."

Landon fidgeted uncomfortably beneath the covers. "I don't know," he replied. "You and I both know that this..." He paused and searched for the right words to say.

Shouldn't have happened?
Was wrong?

Neither of those seemed right, and he assumed Kaelyn would get upset with him, even if she knew he was correct.

"That this will cause complications," he decided.

She put her finger to his lips. "No, none of that." Kaelyn shook her head. Complications. That word implied thinking. Thinking was something she did not want to have any part in in this moment.

"Don't think about it. No complications."

Landon sighed deeply. He hated this. He could understand why she wanted to avoid talking about it, but they'd have to face it inevitably.

Then, suddenly, Landon began to do something he hadn't done since he was a kid. He began to shake slightly as tears began to stream down his cheeks.

"I'm no better than my mother," he said in small whimpers.

Kaelyn felt her heart drop when Landon sighed. She knew what was coming couldn't be good. It was never good. But, when he started shaking and the tears fell down his cheeks. It was too much. The emotion in front of her felt gripping. It was suffocating.

The words that came out of his mouth tore her heart out. She felt guilty about what she'd done. She felt terrible about what Landon must be thinking.

She touched his cheek. "No... no... Don't compare yourself to her. You made a mistake..." Kaelyn stopped. A mistake? It hurt to think about.

"It... It's not your fault."

"I'm weak," he said, not moving except for his constant trembling. He felt like there was blackness where his heart should be. He suddenly realized that his life would always be like this. Trying to move on from Kaelyn, finding someone else, and then always going back to her when she was around.

"I told her," he said, his crying slowly turning into sobbing. "I told her I'd never cheat on her... Now look at me."

She tried to rub him, comfort him. Anything to stop him from having this outburst. Kaelyn used to not cry and she had let him see her have outburts. Seeing him break down like this, it was too much.

"... So you still want to be with her..." Kaelyn said quietly.

"Well... you made a mistake. She would understand." His reaction made her feel empty, cold... numb. "Beg forgiveness and you might get it." Kaelyn stood up and grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom.

Landon sat up and placed his face in his hands. "It's not just about Katrina," he said. "I'll never forgive myself for this..." It was like he was talking to himself. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

"Why..." he kept repeating. "Why, why, why..."

Kaelyn threw on a pair of pants. She looked over her body, tracing her finger over a scar on her right hip that she'd always told Landon was a birthmark. Listening to his voice, she threw on her shirt.

She went back to the bed to sit next to him. "You have to forgive yourself. Or forget. Or you can keep going on asking yourself these questions. Maybe your mom kept failing because she never forgave herself. Couldn't figure out how to move on..."

Landon listened to her but continued to tremble. "I don't know what to do now..." he told her. "Do I tell her? Do I keep it a secret?"

"You and I both know keeping secrets doesn't work. You know what you have to do. So go and do it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Just... do it."

"She won't forgive me," he said. "I really, really like her... I can't let our relationship fail just because of this..." He wiped his face and turned to her. "I'm not mad at you."

Kaelyn got up and opened the door. "She might not. She might, who knows. I know you really like her. So..."

Her green eyes lost the some of the warmth they had earlier. The warmth that almost seemed to be trying to break free. Her eyes iced over.

"Just go to her."

Landon stared at her and sensed the coldness in her voice. Great, so she was mad. Or maybe not mad, but perhaps a little... betrayed? Hurt? She clearly did not like that fact that he still liked Katrina.

He got out of the bed and pulled his clothes on slowly. He reached up and pulled his jacket's hood over his head and walked toward the door and stopped in front of Kaelyn.

"Are you upset?" he asked her, wiping his face again to make sure it was dry.

Kaelyn shook her head. "No. Why would I be upset? I'm not your girlfriend." She lied. She was mad, no. Not mad. Betrayed was the word that fit the most. He said he wouldn't leave. He succumbed to the same feelings she felt for him. Yet, he would still leave. Just like all of the others.

"Now come on. I think you have someone more important to be seeing."

He looked at her carefully, studying her face. What was she thinking?

"You can't blame me for being upset, Kaelyn," he said. "She is my girlfriend after all. You know that as well as I do. It's nothing personal." He forced a small smile despite his immense sadness and raised his hand to her cheek.

She pushed his hand down, shaking her head. "Stop. Don't do that. I'm not blaming you for anything. I understand." But she was sure he didn't. He is upset about his past, and hurting Katrina. Yet, he seemed to forget all the emptiness he would be leaving her to contend with. She knew Katrina was his 'girlfriend'. But... the two of them, Kaelyn and him... felt like so much more.

"I know it's not personal."

He took another good look at her, from her head to her toes. He saw her walls were higher than ever. In a way, he felt bad. He had been right; that sex had caused nothing but complications, like it always did.

"Is it possible to love two people at the same time?" he asked her, avoiding eye contact.

What the hell kind of question was that? Kaelyn wanted to slap him, but she kept as calm as possible. You could love two people, but not in the same way and definitely not the same time. Kaelyn refused to answer.

"Go."

Landon shrugged. "Just a question," he explained. He turned and walked out the door into the rain.

---

The sky was opaque with clouds and rain drizzled down lazily. A cold wind that heralded the onset of winter blew past Landon, sending a shiver down his spine. His hood covered his eyes and most of his upper face and his hands were shoved into the jacket's pockets. His eyes were focused mostly on his feet and the ground. He felt like he lacked the energy to even lift up his chin.

He felt a vibration against his leg and his heart sank. He felt nauseous. He just wanted to delete everything that had happened that day.

More and more uncomfortable thoughts began to go through his mind. His pace quickened. His breathing increased. He could feel a panic attack coming on.

No, he thought. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I need to relax.

He looked up at last and saw the illuminated sign of one of the campus's Dunkin' Donuts. Partially to avoid the increasingly heavy rain but mostly to grab a drink, Landon quickly made his way toward the entrance.

As he stepped up to the register to order, he felt another buzz inside his pocket.

"What would you like today?" the smiling, brunette cashier asked.

Landon was looking down at the counter. Her words sounded distant to him, but he willed himself out of his trance to look up and order a black coffee, pay, and sit down at a bar stool at a counter in front of a wide window.

With his hood still up, he rested his head on his right hand and stared down at the bar blankly, his mind now exhausted and devoid of thought. It felt like time sped up but stopped at the same time.

"Black coffee!"

Stifling a groan, Landon got up from his stool and quickly grabbed his drink and returned to his spot at the counter. He observed the environment outside, watching a car drive by every now and then, spraying out showers of water every time it crossed a puddle. No one walked by on the sidewalk, and the rain was growing heavier.

Without lowering his eyes from the window, Landon slowly lifted the cup up to his lips and let the hot coffee sting his mouth slightly before swallowing it. He enjoyed unconstrained bitterness of black coffee. It was relaxing in a way, but the caffiene also made his mind feel sharper and more alert.

He ignored a third vibration from his pocket and continued to drink his coffee slowly, sip by sip, observing the outside.

Kaelyn's mother Janelle, sat on the other end of the counter and watched Landon and studied his worn down and ragged look she knew all too well. She took a sip of her coffee with sad eyes looking out at the rain as it softly pattered against the window pane. At last, she got up and moved over by Landon and sat down next to him.

Janelle sighed. "Yep... I know that look all too well." She said, looking at Landon and clinking her coffee to his like saying "cheers".

"She can do that to you. My daughter, of course. But, I had it coming... It makes me sad to see you be a victim of something you can't control," Janelle took another sip, "Tell me, what's your name?"

Landon's icy blue eyes looked over at the woman who had just moved a couple seats down to join him. At first, he didn't understand what she meant but then remembered that this was the woman who had been in Kaelyn's dorm when he arrived a couple hours ago. It was her mom, who had apparently just gotten out of drug rehab.

Landon exhaled deeply through his nose. "Landon," he answered curtly. He moved his focus back to the window and watched a fallen leaf be swept down the gutter on the side of the street on a stream of swiftly running water.

"Your daughter's a bitch," he said through gritted teeth. He knew that wasn't the right word, but his anger was beginning to find its way out from where he had been keeping it bottled up.

Janelle nodded her head as Landon introduced himself, and nodded again when words of anger came spewing from his mouth. She placed her coffee on the table and moved it over to the side. Janelle then turned herself so she could face Landon better.

"Yeah... she has her rough moments. But, you should've seen her before her father died and I messed up... A smile that could light up your world and a laugh that could make you laugh in turn. She had such warmth... A warmth that my sister says has disappeared over time. Only showing itself now and again. I took that warmth from her... I know it. After everything, she's cold and hardened. Strong girl, but fragile underneath it all. I'm sure you've seen the walls she puts up, but if you've seen the walls, you'd know too that she's like glass underneath. Cracked glass at that."

Landon didn't budge. He listened to what Ms. Skye said about Kaelyn, but it didn't look like he was interested. In reality, everything she said he either already knew or didn't come as a suprise to him. It didn't quell any of his growing resentment toward Kaelyn.

"I guess I should've remembered that you easily get cut on broken glass," Landon said with another sip of his coffee.

Janelle laughed slightly at what he said. But it wasn't warm, it was bitter. "I can see you're broken glass as well." She responded quickly. "Perhaps you've both cut each other and just don't know how to react."

She studied his disinterested face, but could see the rage within his eyes. "You can be angry at her if you must... But don't hate her. How is she expected to feel close with anyone when everyone abandoned her or... abused her."

His eyes widened for just a moment but quickly returned to their neutral position. The more he thought about it, the more he continued to pile the blame on Kaelyn. She was abused, sure, but that's bound to happen if you go on being the 'player' for too long. Any relationship, even those that lack any kind of real feeling, puts you and your psyche in an extremely vulnerable position. The risk, the short-lived lust, is just too addictive.

"I could say I don't hate her," Landon said. "But then I'd be telling you a lie."

The rainfall grew even heavier. Those who were about to leave the coffee shop stood cautiously behind the door, weighing the risks of running to their car and getting wet or waiting out the rain.

"How can I be expected not to hate her, after all the shit she's put me through?" he asked. His voice was unnervingly calm.

She paused and thought over his question for a moment. She even thought that he didn't quite understand all she had said. Janelle looked him over and mainly focused in on his eyes. He may try to hide emotions by putting on a blank look on the surface, but she was too skilled at her age to be fooled by it.

"I believe you would be telling me a lie." She said, calmly taking another sip.

"You love my daughter and there's no doubt about it. You're confused. Perhaps about that phone that's been buzzing non-stop in your pocket for the last few minutes. And by phone I mean another girl. Us old folk know these things." Janelle softly chuckled to herself.

"As for your question... It's understandable. After all, how can Kaelyn be expected to not hate me after I abandoned her, told her I hated her. Not only that, when she needed me most... I didn't even realize that my boyfriend at the time sexually and physically abused her... She was only 14... The people she needed to trust fucked her over. I get why she puts on the act. It's so that she can hurt you before you can ever hurt her."

Landon closed his eyes and breathed slowly through his nose. He didn't want to say anything but another buzz from his pocket prodded him to continue the conversation.

"First of all," he started, his voice still low, "I don't love your daughter. There's no 'love' between us at all, according to her." Of course, he wasn't telling the complete truth, and even though Ms. Skye could probably see right through his lie, he didn't care in the slightest. "Secondly," he continued, "if you're trying to procure any pity from me for Kaelyn, it isn't working. Yeah, her life sucks, I get it. But I've known her since the summer. We've bonded on more than just a physical level. I've demonstrated to her multiple times how much she means to me and that I'm obviously different from all the other guys in her past. She made a conscious choice to end what we had back at camp, but all of a sudden when she sees me again, it's like, she uses my old feelings for her to trick me into giving her what she wants."

His fingers that were wrapped around the coffee cup were trembling slightly.

"She's obviously the conflicted one here. She's self-destructive. She drinks herself into a daze when she sees me, but make it clear that everything we have is nothing. And now, when I finally get my shit together and start to move on, she worms her way back into my life and lights everything I've built up on fire."

Janelle slammed her fist on the counter. "I've had enough. Enough of your crying, enough of your blame."

"You do love my daughter or you wouldn't be getting up all in a fuss about it. And don't think for a second that I buy any of that bullshit that she doesn't love you back. I know my daughter. I bet you that she never actually said the sentence 'I don't love you.' to your face." She adjusted herself and looked Landon straight into his eyes.

"Sure, I want you to feel some pity for her. But, that's only because she never asks for it herself! And you goddamn know that! I bet you it took forever to find out her real past, because she doesn't ask for pity, she moves forward through any damn thing anyone's ever put in front of her. Listen to your goddamn self, she's supposed to accept your love and admit loving you after a few months of camp? A camp where you two would leave to two distant places? After all she's been through? She probably didn't trust you fully then, and never wanted to tell you anything because she was afraid you would get up and leave. Well guess what! She was goddamn right! The first time she ever tells you anything, what did you do, Landon? What did you do... You fucking left, that's what you did. She didn't worm her way into your life, she never left. You both did this to each other."

Landon frowned at her as she seethed at him. Unlike Kaelyn's previous descriptions of Ms. Skye, she seemed very concerned about her daughter's wellbeing at the present.

"I left because she got me to cheat on my girlfriend," he said. The words tasted sour on his tongue. "I'm getting in a fuss about it not because I love her, but because now I'm beginning to realize I won't be able to have either of them."

"She's a smart girl... Did it ever cross your mind that she thought she was losing you... Only to keep you close for as long as she could?"

Landon shook his head. "If she wanted to keep me close," he explained, "she shouldn't have been so defensive when I told her I loved her. I understand that maybe she wasn't ready to completely let her walls down, but what she felt doesn't change the truth in what I said. She knows as well as I do that getting me to say that means I won't leave... But it's not a one-way deal, and saying no was a mistake on her part."

He took a final sip from his coffee and placed the empty cup back on the counter with a shaky sigh. He reached his hand up and anxiously rubbed his forehead, dreading what horrors the future would have in store for him nearby.

"She wants to keep me as close for as long as she can," he repeated with a small, sarcastic chuckle. "Well, she's got a funny way of showing it. If anything, she's just pushed me away farther than ever. I want nothing to do with her. It was a mistake. She and I never should have happened. But you know what? It's fine. I believe in second chances. No one needs to know about this. It was a mistake. We all make mistakes. I'm gonna go on like none of this ever happened."

Just then, the Dunkin' Donuts door swung wide open. A brunette stood alone in the door way with wet hair and a soaked shirt. It was Kaelyn. She saw Landon and came running over.

"Landon! I-," she stopped and saw her mother. "I.. Why is she... why are you?"

"Honey, I can explain." Kaelyn took a step back.

"No... I should've known better." Tears seemed to form in Kaelyns eyes, she shook her head and sprinted out away from Landon and Janelle.

"Wait!" He hardly had time to think. Everything happened in a blink of an eye. Landon jumped up from his seat and took a step toward the door, but stopped himself. She wouldn't listen. He stood there for a second, facing the door, and slowly turned back to face her mom.

"Why was she so upset?" he asked, his eyes now filled with concern.

"She hates me. It's no wonder that if she sees you with me, she'll immediately assume you're against her. Not on her side. No one's ever on Kaelyn's side."

Landon shook his head, confused. "Not on her side? It seems like you're the one who's the most on her side."

Janelle smiled. "Yes... but how can she know that or trust that after what I've done in the past? Past failings haunt her. And another close person she connects with appears to have failed her again... Even if you haven't. She's hurting, Landon. Hurting far more than you can ever know."

Landon's anger and confusion was reaching a fever pitch inside him. He felt pressure from Kaelyn, from her mom, from Katrina... The air felt dense and viscous and seemed to want to crush him.

"This isn't my fault!" he yelled suddenly, his calm atmosphere suddenly dissolving. A few confused people looked up at the two.

A silence grew between them, and Landon knew he couldn't let the scene get any more out of hand. Without saying another word to her, he stormed out the door toward his dorm.

[Gwynbleidd]

Kaelyn sat underneath the pouring rain. But, even the heavy torrent of pattering water droplets could not clear the blinding haze that cast itself over the depths of her mind. Her thoughts and feelings were scattered, she looked into a puddle on the ground and only saw a shattered reflection of herself. A reflection of many pieces. Her hands were shaking, heart beating heavy and tears streaming down her face. Who was on her side?

No one. The voice in the back of her mind rang out. Kaelyn got up and went inside her dorm, ignoring the various stares that came her way. She slowly made her way up the stairs and eventually into her room, slamming the door.

In the bathroom, Kaelyn looked at herself in the mirror. She took a few deep breaths and tried to steady her shaking. It didn't work.

Kaelyn left the bathroom and stormed through her dresser, ripping through clothes and tossing them about. She picked up a picture of her and Landon. Her gaze pierced into the picture until at last she tore it in half. Kaelyn pulled out other pictures and started ripping them all together. Kaelyn ripped all of them except for one, the last picture was one of them with Kaelyn putting her hands over Landon's eyes from behind him; sitting by a fire. They both were smiling.

She let out a exasperated breath and tossed the photo to the floor, returning to her dresser and grabbing a bottle of anti-depressant pills. A bottle never opened. Kaelyn popped the cap and took two pills, awaiting the sense of numbness that would soon wash over her.

---

The rain that had been incessant since the day before finally cleared up as the dark clouds soon turned white and then dispersed to reveal a dark blue, autumn sky. The sun was very still strong, and it began to warm up the college campus.

Katrina stood in front of her athletic locker, watching herself carefully in a small mirror that hung on the inside of the door. Her hands worked to pull her bright blonde hair into a tight ponytail for minimal distraction during practice. So far, their team had been undefeated, and Katrina wasn't about to let that record be shattered.

But something was bugging her. Landon hadn't responded to any of her concerned texts from yesterday or that morning. She wanted to believe he was just busy, but this wasn't like him. Was everything okay with him? He hardly ever opened up to her about his personal problems. Maybe, if she told him how much she cared, he'd be a little more open. Yes, that's what she'd do. At any rate, she was still very concerned about him in general. For some reason, Katrina always felt insecure when she was around him, like she was never good enough, not pretty enough, not athletic enough, not funny enough.

Well she was going to prove that she was.

After doing a final check in her little mirror, Katrina calmly shut her locker and grabbed her gym bag that held her water bottle and some gear. As she turned to exit the locker room, she passed by Kaelyn. Katrina didn't say a word, but the brunette's presence made her skin crawl. Something was off about her today, but she couldn't quite tell what exactly it was.

Early as usual, Katrina took a seat on the bench on the side of the athletics field with a sigh. She took off her gym bag that had been hanging from her back and reached inside to grab her water bottle and her phone. After taking a few generous sips of water, she set the bottle down when her eye caught a notification flash across her phone's screen. It was a message from Landon, finally. It read simply: "I'm fine, sorry."

A wave of relief washed over the blonde. At least he was okay. She quickly typed back a response, "It's okay, I'm just glad you're okay. How about I come over tonight? :)"

As she locked her phone and stored it in her gym bag, a few of her teammates were beginning to show up, along with Coach Sanders. She stood up and joined them as they congregated on the center of the field, preparing to begin warm-ups.

Kaelyn ignored Katrina as she passed by her. Katrina wouldn't know it, but she wasn't the earliest one there. Kaelyn had been there two hours ago already doing pre-practice work-outs, she was just finishing up resting for the actual practice. After getting all suited up again, Kaelyn returned out onto the field to see the team gathering up for warm-ups. Simple stretches, and the opening jog. Then, they always began with an early sprint. Kaelyn usually finished in the middle of the pack because that's all she needed to do to avoid running again.

Today was different. The minute Coach Sanders blew the whistle, Kaelyn shifted into a gear that no one on the team knew she had. She flew by the 4th and 5th place girls, easily getting into third, then second. All that was in her way was Katrina. Kaelyn's focus intensified, and soon enough she easily passed her, smoking the entire team past the line.

All the girls didn't know how to react to seeing Kaelyn run that fast. Whether she had that in her the entire time or what. Kaelyn looked at Katrina with an eerily cold gaze.

"Why the wide eyes? You actually thought you were faster than me?"

Katrina, panting, looked at Kaelyn in shock, partially because of her sudden burst in performance but mostly because of her malevolent glare. There was no emotion in her voice. It was like she was a robot. It was kinda scary.

Katrina wasn't the only one who noticed. The other girls on the soccer team whispered among themselves and wondered why she was acting like this all of a sudden.

"I saw her crying yesterday," one whispered. "Or maybe it was the rain... But she looked pretty shaken up."

"I wonder what her deal is," pondered another one with a slight tone of irritation.

Before Katrina could think of a response to Kaelyn, Coach Sanders stepped in.

"Good job, Kaelyn," she said with a small but cautious smile. "Keep up the good work and we'll smash the Panthers next week."

She then turned to face the rest of the team and blew her whistle loudly. "All right, let's get to our ball-handling drills!" she yelled in her stereotypical, harsh, female coach voice.

Keeping a close eye on Kaelyn, Katrina followed Coach's instructions and began the drills.

Kaelyn didn't reply to any of the comments she heard under the breath of the other girls. Instead she shot them all harsh glares. She simply nodded at the coach's comment and followed in line with the other girls into the drill. It was basic handling drills, knowing the positions to kick and cross over and do other sorts of maneuvers with the ball.

She didn't lose sight of the ball once, and never lost control. Her pace was almost perfect, and her footwork was flawless. Kaelyn kept her breathing calm and controlled and then at last the coach blew the whistle.

"Great job, some of you are still sloppy though. Kaelyn, that's more of what I like to see. Katrina, sharpen up. You're better than that!" Coach Sanders then broke up the team into two squads, one with Kaelyn as captain and Katrina as the other. They were going to go head to head.

Coach brought the ball to the middle of the field and Katrina's team would be starting with the ball. Kaelyn watched Katrina from the defensive side of the field, making sure she could see her piercing glare.

All she had to do now was wait for Katrina to fall into her hands.

Katrina stood with the soccer ball underneath her right foot and her arms crossed across her chest. Kaelyn's cyborg-like performance was not only unnatural but extremely infuriating. In reality, she wouldn't mind if anybody was better than her. She wasn't trying to be the best. She just wanted to do the best that she could, but in the shadow of Kaelyn now, Coach has been riding her ass nonstop.

"Is she trying to threaten me or something?" she breathed, irked, catching sight of the brunette's glare from across the entire field.

But Katrina knew she couldn't let her irritation turn into anger and get the better of her. Anger gave you power, but it is sloppy and difficult to control. She took a deep breath through her nose and slowly exhaled. No. She needed to stay calm. That was the key.

"Begin!" Coach Sanders's whistle blared.

Immediately, Katrina darted forward with the ball, her teammates behind her for support. A girl approached her to try to steal the ball, but Katrina quickly kicked the ball to the side to Jocelyn and attempted to find an open area where she had a clear shot of the goal. Before she got too excited, she looked around to make sure she knew where exactly Kaelyn was. For a moment, she was focused on Jocelyn, who quickly saw the opportunity to pass to Katrina.

The ball flew toward her and without giving it a second thought, she slammed it toward the goal. The goalie's gloved hands grazed the ball but couldn't stop it from landing inside the net.

The whistle blared again. "Good!" Coach bellowed. "Kaelyn's team, you have the ball now."

Kaelyn watched as Katrina streaked down field past some of their lesser skilled teammates. She watched as Jocelyn and Katrina worked together, she felt she had the right read and was ready to jump the pass but her shoe got caught in a divet in the ground. Katrina scored on the play. Kaelyn seethed and snatched the ball from one of her teammates fiercely.

She kicked the ball to Lacey who played a more physical game like Kaelyn preferred. They worked it down the field, evading defenders and by being tougher with the ball. Kaelyn moved to a scoring position but Katrina was on top of her. It was time to see what Katrina was made of. Kaelyn got in close and started being rough with Katrina, lowering her shoulder into her. Hitting her arm away with hard elbows. Then Kaelyn held her arm up to signal Lacey for the pass. Kaelyn hip-checked Katrina viciously into the ground. She received the ball and it was just her and the goalie. An easy cross-over and the goal was in.

Kaelyn trotted over to Katrina. "Make yourself comfortable down there, that's where you're going to be all day."

Katrina looked up at Kaelyn, her eyes filled with confused rage. Her ankle throbbed slightly as she hadn't fallen correctly. "What the hell do you have against me?" she asked, trying to stand up.

"I have nothing against you. I'm just letting you know who's number one on this team. Get used to it." Kaelyn replied.

"It's a team," Katrina replied, now shakily on her feet. "There is no number one player, just a number one team. Your being a bitch isn't exactly working out for cooperation."

She laughed. "Sounds like something a loser would say. You're not a loser, are you Katrina?"

Katrina narrowed her eyes. "I wouldn't care if I was."

"Yeah, I can tell. That goal was easier than your boyfriend last night." Kaelyn said with no emotion in her voice.

A deafening silence emerged between the two girls.

At first, Katrina didn't understand. Then she remembered. Their psych project... No... They didn't... They couldn't have...

Katrina's expression turned into one of surprise and confusion. "What are you trying to say?" she asked, her voice shaking. She was afraid of Kaelyn's answer would be.

The silence nor the stares bothered Kaelyn. She only watched as the realization slowly crept over Katrina's face. Kaelyn thought it would satisfy her... but she still felt as numb as before.

"Are you stupid? You know exactly what happened. He cheated on you, like I told you he would."

Katrina couldn't believe her ears. "You seduced my boyfriend?" she asked, disgusted.

"Hah. Seduced? Did you know he told me he loved me once? He wanted it, I wanted it. Nothing more to it. And he loved every second of it. I guess you just weren't enough."

It felt like Kaelyn had just stabbed her in the heart. The ache was nauseating.

Immediately, some teammates noticed their exchange and their tension quickly rising.

Jocelyn started to approach them. "Hey, Katrina, c'mon we should set up for--"

Katrina held out her hand to signal her to stop. "Shut up. This is personal now," she said, not breaking eye contact with the emotionless brunette.

"You're lying," she said to continue their dispute. "Landon never said that you. He would never cheat on me. He cares about me too much."

Kaelyn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm definitely lying. I mean, it's not like me and Landon had a project to do last night. It's not like he never came to your room last night. Odd, right? Hate to tell you, he did tell me he loved me once. But it was a long time ago so don't worry about it. He definitely cares about you, I'm surprised he hasn't told you already crying like a bitch when he cheated last night."

Kaelyn's voice was growing more and more painful and annoying to listen to. Finally, Katrina cracked.

"Just shut the fuck up!" she screamed suddenly, and, not resorting to a slap, sent her right first forward and punched Kaelyn square in the cheek.

The outburst caught Kaelyn off-guard even though it shouldn't have. She took Katrina's punch and held her hand to the stinging side of her cheek. But, the city-side of Kaelyn wasn't about to let that go unnoticed.

Her head turned slowly back to Katrina, a death glare plastered on her face. She leaped at Katrina and tackled her to the ground, using her strength to pin her down.

Immediately, Coach's whistle blew. "Skye! Fierro! Cut it out right now or you're both suspended from the team!"

Katrina glared up at Kaelyn who had her pinned against the turf. "I'll fucking kill you!" she seethed, resorting to everything she had left, which was biting her hand as hard as she could since both her hands were stuck behind her.

Kaelyn heard coach clear enough, but she cringed as Katrina bit her hand. Before she got up, Kaelyn landed a quick hit to Katrina's face to put her in her place.

She got off of Katrina and they were both pulled away from each other by teammates. Kaelyn broke free from Lacey and the others and went on her way to leave by herself. "Go fuck yourself, you stupid bitch. I hate you!" It was the most emotion that escaped from Kaelyn's mouth the entire day. Every word dripped with raw anger which no one knew where it came from.

Katrina too was being restrained by her teammates, glaring at Kaelyn as she insulted her for the last time and began to storm off. Her anger was still boiling though.

"I can't believe this!" she screamed, struggling to break free. After a few futile attempts, she finally broke down and began to sob. Only then did her other players reluctantly let her go. She feel to her knees and continued to bawl with her face in her gloved hands.

"I don't blame her," someone whispered. "That was completely uncalled for... Poor Katrina."

A few other nodded in agreement. Jocelyn knelt down and attempted to cosole her friend.

"Katrina, it's okay, I'm sure--"

"Don't touch me!" Katrina screamed, swatting her hand away. "Everybody just leave me alone!" She continued to sob on the field and her teammates stood hesitantly at a distance.

Coach Sanders rubbed her temples. "Drama," she muttered. "Now I've lost my two best players." She took a deep breath and blew her whistle again. "Katrina! You sit the next drill out. Everyone else, take five laps!"

The soccer players didn't complain. They glanced back at Katrina's shaking form before beginning their half-hearted laps. As the girls ran, Coach Sanders approached Katrina who was still in shambles.

"Why don't you head home," she told her in a calm voice. "You probably have some issues to sort out."

Katrina nodded with her head still down, but didn't say a word. Wiping her face, she stood up and walked dejectedly to grab her gym bag and walk off toward her dorm.

Kaelyn packed all her things and wandered back to her room. Everything had happened so fast and she didn't understand what she'd done. She felt bad for what she did to Katrina... It didn't make her feel any better to unleash all her anger on her. But yet, her numbness still controlled her actions.

She pulled out her phone and sent a short, sweet message to Landon. "She knows." Were the two words she sent.

Her body was shaking again as she entered her room. Emotions of guilt, sadness, anger, hate, betrayal, inadequacy started to cloud her mind again. Regret and loneliness stung the most. Kaelyn grabbed the bottle of pills.

She took more than what is prescribed. Kaelyn gulped down four of them and felt lifeless as she crumpled down to the floor and just leaned her back against her dresser, staring at the wall with clouded eyes that veiled the despair underneath.

[Blitz]

Landon was in his dorm, sitting at his desk. He had a ten-page paper due in a week, and for once he wanted to get an early start on it while he wasn't very busy. After all, he wanted to refocus on his academics and sports again, which meant studying, getting his homework done, and going to all of his lacrosse workouts. He had decided to continue on with his life like none of this Kaelyn business ever happened. It was probably for the best anyway. Kaelyn and he hurt each other too much; it simply wasn't healthy for them to be together any longer. This was his second change, another fresh start.

His fingers wavered of his laptop's keyboard. For some reason, he was having trouble focusing on the essay. His mind was elsewhere. It wasn't like he was distracted, though. It just felt like he was lacking the capacity to think clearly and concentrate. His stomach was filled with butterflies and he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

I probably just feel bad for Kaelyn, he assured himself. But we'll both be okay. I know it.

His thoughts of encouragement didn't seem to help.

With a tired sigh, Landon leaned back in his swivel chair and stretched his arms. It was about time for Katrina to be done with practice, but she hadn't responded to his text yet. Oh well, she was probably busy. The last person he wanted to confront right then was Katrina, anyways. Suddenly, a text notification appeared on the screen. Leaning forward, he saw it was from Kaelyn.

"Nope," he said, closing the notification without reading it. There was no chance he was having any contact with her.

He got up from his chair and slowly rubbed his face, disappointed that he couldn't get his mind to focus. Well, he still had an option that every college resorted to at some point or another—sugary energy drinks. While it wasn't 2am the night before the essay was do, Landon thought it'd be necessary to simply continue his daily tasks with some energy.

Landon slowly made his way to the bottom floor of his dorm building where there were a few vending machines located outside of the laundry room. One of them specialized in unhealthy, energy drinks, most notably Red Bull, Rockstar, and Gatorade. He didn't want to be jittery, so he decided on a blue Gatorade and slipped two dollar bills into the machine and got his drink.

As he stepped back from the machine, he heard one of the front doors open. He didn't think much of it until he heard a familiar voice called out his name: "Landon!"

He turned around to see Katrina standing there, still in her soccer gear. Her eyes were red and her makeup was smeared slightly. A red bruise was forming on her cheek and her hair was slightly tousled. Immediately noticing something was wrong, Landon came up to her.

"What happened?" he asked. "Are you okay? Did you get into a fight?"

In response, Katrina took a step back from him. Her eyes were wide and frightened. Landon stopped when he saw her recoiled.

"Katrina..." he said. "What's going on?"

"I talked to Kaelyn today," she answered finally. Her voice was trembling.

A burst of nervous adrenaline shot through Landon. He had completely forgotten that they played on the same soccer team. That's what was bothering him so much earlier! Damn it, damn it... Why would Kaelyn do this? She was insane, but this was not something he'd expect of her. The only thing that could've pushed her over the edge was... Yesterday... Oh god...They must've fought.

"Katrina, look—"

"Tell me she's lying," she pleaded. "Please, just tell me none of this is true..."

Landon was originally planning to never tell her about all this, but he didn't have the heart to blatantly lie to her face about something this serious. He looked down at the floor in defeat. He assumed his silence would serve as the best answer. Words never served their purpose.

Katrina shook her head in horror. "Why?" she squeaked out. "How could you? Why am I not good enough, Landon? Why am I never good enough?"

He continued to look at the floor, too ashamed to speak.

"Landon!" Katrina cried out, her voice on the edge of cracking.

He raised his eyes to meet hers, and he could feel her heartbreak.

"It's... It's not that," he replied at last.

"Then what is it?" Tears lined the edges of her eyes.

Landon shut his eyes hard, not bearing to see her sadness.

"She just gets to me," Landon said, his voice beginning to falter too. "I was weak."

"Landon... Do you love her?" The question came as a surprise to him

He hated that word. Love. People say it's the most beautiful emotion, but it's really the ugliest. It's like a drug. It's addictive, it's distracting, it's intoxicating, and it makes you do stupid things. Why? Why did it have to be that way? So far, all love did was inundate his life with problems and complications.

"I did before," Landon said, which confirmed what Kaelyn had claimed at practice. "But I don't anymore."

"Then why did you sleep with her?"

Landon frowned. He didn't know the answer.

Katrina shook her head again, and tears now covered her face again. Her worst nightmares had come true.

"Why don't you come talk to me... When you have your feelings figured out." Katrina got one last good look at Landon and without another word, turned to leave.

Landon didn't call after her. He just stood there, incredulous at what had just passed. There was no way in hell he was going to let Kaelyn get away with this. As much as he loathed her, her needed to talk to her and settle things between them once and for all. Without sending her a text of warning, he immediately left in the direction of her dorm building.

[Gwynbleidd]

Time passed by slowly. At least it felt that way. Kaelyn hadn't moved from that spot on the floor for what felt like hours, although it was just minutes. She stared a bare spot on the wall and zoned in on it. Plain, bare… empty. She looked around and could see her drawers were open, clothes tossed about, shredded pictures except for one. Even amidst the scattered, crowded mess, emptiness consumed her thoughts. All the sunlight in the sky could not pierce through the shaded window to her heart. Her mind wandered from one thing to the next. She had said everything and done everything to hurt others the way they had hurt her. But… vengeance didn't heal the old wounds that scarred her memory. Instead they only re-opened them and created new gaping wounds. Kaelyn breathed in. She breathed out. Tears forced their way from her eyes.

Stop crying… But, the droplets did not stop their flow. Streaming down her cheeks softly.

Stop crying… Kaelyn closed her eyes tight, shaking her head and wiping at them with a swift hand. Kaelyn didn't cry, Kaelyn didn't get like this ever. All the terrible things, all the tough moments of life. She wasn't supposed to let them get to her. She couldn't. She had to move through it and overcome it by herself. Alone. Kaelyn put her face in her hands and curled up in a ball.

Why couldn't she be normal? Why didn't hurting Landon and Katrina bring her peace? Why did her father kill himself? Why did her mom love drugs more than her?

The questions and images flooded her mind like a raging waterfall breaking through the dam she put up to protect herself. Her walls were breaking around her, shattering into millions of pieces. She could see her father hanging from the rope tied from the ceiling. Her mother's tears… She could see the beer and alcohol everywhere, the drugs. Her mothers angered yells and the abuse she took from her mother's boyfriend. The depression.

Kaelyn shook her head trying to get rid of all the imagery. It didn't work. She could see the moments at camp flash through her mind. The stars in the night sky, easily seen in the secluded and peaceful wilderness. Bright orange flame flickering from burning wood. Friends huddled up around the campfires, laughing and smiling as they watched the moonlight reflecting off the soft, clear water of the lake. She could see her friends, Colton, Gwen, Brooke, Nicole… Landon; with his arm wrapped around her. All of the smiles and the laughter. But, it was contrasted with the bitter memory of Kaelyn and Landon facing off at each other on the beach. Sadness rolling from their eyes and hateful words falling from their mouths. She walked away as he stood there.

He didn't love me… He couldn't have. He didn't know all the things about me. Kaelyn justified her actions in her head. But what if he did? What if he still does? She tried to deny her feelings for him for so long, but by herself she could not hide from the fact that their was a love she felt for Landon. One that only the two of them could know and share. It was too late to change the things she'd done now. By now, Kaelyn knew he must hate her. But, he still hurt her. So she felt she was right. He had left like all the others.

Why does everybody leave me?

What's wrong with me?

Kaelyn started shaking and let out a deep wail. She couldn't take it anymore. She lifted her head and grabbed the pills. Effortlessly, she poured some more into her mouth. Disgusted, Kaelyn tossed the bottle to the ground, pills spilling out across the ground adding to the mess of her room. She wanted the numbness to take over her body. To feel nothing.

The effects slowly came to her… Kaelyn couldn't feel, but something wasn't right. She felt cold, and her heart was racing more than usual. Kaelyn got up and went to the bathroom and shut the door. She turned on the shower and let the rising heat steam up the room to keep herself warm. It helped a little, but only seemed to slow down the effects. Kaelyn felt a bit dizzy and slumped down next to the tub and stayed there.

[Blitz]

As the sun sank lower and lower into the sky, a few dark clouds still lingered at the horizon. It was hard to tell if they were leftover from the previous storm, or if they foreboded the soon arrival of another one. Knowing Florida's climate, it was reasonable to assume there was another rainstorm on its way.

Thankfully, that wouldn’t be a problem for Landon, as Kaelyn’s dorm building was only a short walk away from his own. He made his way slowly down the sidewalk and took this opportunity and somewhat mental clarity to plan out what he was going to say to her. First and foremost, he decided it’d be best for him not to lose his temper. That would only complicate things. Although, he’d find exceedingly hard to keep himself from shouting because she did singlehandedly ruin his first real relationship. Secondly, he knew he had to make it clear that they were over, completely, one hundred percent. He still had his psych class with her, but he would ignore her existence completely. But Kaelyn was unpredictable. It’s impossible to say if she would ignore him too, which was a definite possibility, or if she’d intentionally pester him by trying to make conversation. He supposed this is why he was going to see her now, to make it clear that he didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

Something inside of him tingled. He was somewhat excited to be free from his brunette burden, but that still wouldn’t erase their story, no matter how much he would try to forget it. He couldn’t forget it. For that reason, he supposed he had some kind of respect for her, albeit little. He sighed out loud. It was for the best.

In a couple of minutes, Landon arrived at her dorm building and climbed up the stairs to her floor. He made his way slowly down the hall and stood for a minute in front of her door. He took a deep breath and reached out to knock on it, but his second knock did not contact the door. It had swung inward slightly at his touch.

“Uh,” he called out awkwardly. “Kaelyn?”

He peered inside and frowned. The dorm was in shambles. Her bed wasn’t made, clothes and torn photos littered the floor. Oh god. She must’ve had a breakdown.

Ignoring the possible consequences, he pushed the door open completely and stepped inside. He leaned down and picked up a shred of a photo. It was part of his face and Kaelyn’s, both smiling. He couldn’t tell where they were from the little shred, but Landon remembered the picture. They were in front of the Mess Hall. He had the same picture, hidden inside of his luggage.

He continued to investigate. Moving through the clothes and photo shreds, he encountered one that was untouched, but it was creased like it was handled roughly. It was their entire friend group from camp in front of a crackling fire… A wave of nostalgia washed over him so quickly that he had to rip his eyes away from it to avoid being consumed by the past.

He dropped the photo to the ground and took a step back, when he felt something hard underneath his shoe. He stepped out of the way and picked up a white, cylindrical pill off the ground. Giving the room a closer look, he saw they were littered all over the floor.

It sent a shiver down his spine. His heart began to beat faster. He saw an open container against a wall that looked like it had been thrown there. Fearing what he would see, he picked it up and read the label. They were antidepressants, maximum strength, maximum dosage.

His hands shook. “Kaelyn…” he whispered. “What the fuck did you do?”

This was bad. Very bad. “Kaelyn!” he shouted, hoping she was somewhere around. He listened carefully, and heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. He ran over and swung the door open. What he saw would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The mirror was steamed up and a blast of hot, wet air came to meet him. The shower was running, but the curtain was wide open. On the ground, slumped over, was Kaelyn’s form. A pool of vomit surrounded the area where her mouth should have been, and her open eyes stared off into oblivion.

“Kaelyn!”

Everything started to become a blur. He remembered dialling 911 and frantically telling the operator about what was in front of him. He remembered following her hasty but firm instructions. He remembered calling her name over and over and over again. He remembered tears streaming from his eyes, the sirens, the men in white coats that rushed in and took her away.

“Please, take me with her!” he pleaded to one of the paramedics.

“I’m sorry, only immediate family is allowed. We need to get her stomach pumped immediately.” There was no emotion in his voice. His eyes were cold.

Then Landon ran. He ran faster than he knew was possible. He got in his car and drove directly to the hospital emergency room.

“I need to see Kaelyn, Kaelyn Skye,” he said hurriedly to the receptionist.

She typed a few times into her keyboard, taking her time. “What is your relationship to Ms. Skye?” she asked, sounding somewhat annoyed.

Landon bit his lip. “I’m her boyfriend,” he said.

The woman frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we can let you in to see her right now.

He gaped at her. “Are you serious?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Can you at least tell me where she is?” His voice was laden with desperation.

The woman rolled her eyes slightly. “Room 202A, just down the hall, second door on the right. There are some seats outside where you can wait.” Landon was gone when she looked back from her computer screen.

---

Minutes passed. Hours passed. It seemed like Landon was waiting for years in that uncomfortable chair outside of a door labeled “202A - Occupied.” He anxiously tapped his feet and fiddled with his fingers. A few doctors came and left from the room, and none of them would give him any information about her current state. He exhaled in frustration and placed both his hands on his head.

“I can’t believe this…” he whispered. “I just can’t believe this…”

Kaelyn couldn’t remember much of anything. She was conscious in that bathroom, but couldn’t react to anything going on around her. Her body was cold and felt completely lifeless and unresponsive. She didn’t want to die, but she couldn’t move. It was the scariest feeling she had ever felt. All she could remember was the sound of shouting and her name. Then the sirens, everything after that was either black or a simple blur.

Janelle had watched the ambulance come to Kaelyn’s dorm and watched curiously. Her eyes widened in horror to see her pale and seemingly lifeless daughter being wheeled into the vehicle. She had never rushed to a hospital so quickly.

“Hello?” Coach Sanders had answered her phone with that simple reply, but what she heard on the other line made her heart drop. It was the worst news anyone could hear. She shut the phone and sighed deeply, hoping to God that Kaelyn would not die. She picked up her phone again and sent out a text to all the players.

“Kaelyn’s in the hospital. It’s urgent… I want everyone on the team there.”

When Janelle came in through the hospital doors, she rushed to the receptionist.

“Where’s my daughter!?”

The receptionist looked at her. “Name, miss?”

“Skye. Janelle Skye!” She was panicking.

“202A, miss. Right down there.” She said pointing over to the room. Janelle ran down the hall to see the door closed. She noticed Landon sitting by the room with his head in his hands.

“Is she okay? Do you know if my baby is alright?!”

Landon looked up from his hands when he heard someone come down the hall. He was expecting to see a doctor, but instead he was somewhat surprised to see Ms. Skye standing there, asking if her daughter was okay.

“I don’t know,” Landon replied. His voice was small and shaky. “They won’t tell me anything…”

Inside the room, doctors rushed about. Yelling amongst each other, shouting orders. A stomach pump inside they were using in a desperate attempt to save her life.

“We’re losing her! We’re losing her! Come on, come on!” One of the doctors shouted, trying to keep everyone alert in keeping Kaelyn alive. Kaelyn couldn’t make out much of what they were saying. She slipped in and out of consciousness the entire time.

Janelle looked at Landon and simply nodded. She sat beside him.

“This is all my fault…”

Landon shook his head. “No, it isn’t,” he told her truthfully. “Don’t blame yourself for this. It’ll only worsen the pain.”

---

Katrina was sitting on her bed with a box of tissues and a bag of Hershey Kisses, watching Titanic on Lifetime and trying not to think about Landon. As she reached forward to grab another tissue, she felt her bed vibrate softly as her phone received a new message. Expecting it to be Landon, she eagerly grabbed her phone, but was confused to see it was from Coach Sanders.

“Damn it, I’m probably suspended from the team…” she said. But that wasn’t what the message was about. Her heart sunk and her palms became sweaty.

“Oh my god…” was all she could say.

In a matter of minutes, Katrina was hurrying across the local hospital’s parking lot. She glanced upward to see with the last few rays of sunlight that the gloomy clouds had indeed come and now covered most of the sky.

As she approached the main entrance, she noticed Lacey and Jocelyn were walking together to the same destination.

“Hey! Katrina!” Lacey called out. “Did you get Coach’s text? Is Kaelyn okay?”

Katrina greeted her friends back and shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said.

“What do you think happened?” Jocelyn wondered as Katrina inquired Kaelyn’s room number.

“I don’t know. She was angrier than I’ve ever seen her though,” Lacey whispered back.

“Oh god, you don’t think she tried to… commit suicide, do you?”

Katrina returned to them, having heard the tail end of what Jocelyn had just said. “No,” she said strongly. “No, Kaelyn’s not like that. This must’ve been some kind of accident. She’s in room 202A, just down the hall. Apparently some others have come to see her too.”

They nodded and eventually found their way there. Katrina stopped when she saw Landon sitting there, talking to an older woman who she didn’t recognize. Landon stopped what he was saying to look up at her. Instead of it being awkward, Katrina just rushed forward and hugged him. Lacey and Jocelyn kept a distance from them. They weren’t aware of the breakup yet.

“Is she okay?” she whispered, a few tears coming down her eyes. After all, she was closer with Kaelyn than anyone else on her team. She was her rival.

“I don’t know,” Landon answered. It seemed like he’d been saying it all day.

Katrina pulled away from her hug and sighed. “What happened to her?”

“I was just about to explain to her mom right now,” he said, gesturing to Ms. Skye. “These are Kaelyn’s teammates,” he quickly added for the sake of Kaelyn’s mom. “Anyway, well, I just went over to her dorm to talk to her, and her room was a mess. Clothes everywhere.” He left the part about the pictures out. “Then I saw a bunch of pills scattered on the floor, and I heard the water running and when I came into the bathroom…”

Landon paused, remembering that terrible mental image. “It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” He had seen people pass out and get sick before. This was completely different.

Janelle acknowledged the girls. “Hi… I’m Kaelyn’s mother.” She said simply. She just shook her head at what Landon had said and wiped tears from her face. The image of her daughter on that stretcher haunted her.

“... Before I… Before I went into rehab for my addiction. Kaelyn was diagnosed with depression. Like her father. She was very strong with it though… but, those pills that the doctor prescribed her. She can be pretty rough as is when she wants, but those pills; they change her into a completely different person. They’re only really meant for when it gets real real bad… which is rare.”

She sighed and looked at the door of the emergency room.

The shouts had subsided. Kaelyn’s heartbeat had been somewhat regulated, she was now in a much more stable condition. They gave her an anaesthetic to let her rest. The doctors and nurses went over routine checks on her before leaving.

As the nurses exited the room, Landon stood up quickly. “Can we see her?” he pleaded.

The nurses looked around at the small group that was beginning to form now. More and more soccer players arrived and Coach Sanders had finally come as well. “We’re sorry,” one of them said. “Only immediate family can go in. Are any of her relatives around…?”

Janelle stood up. “I’m her mother.” The nurse looked at her and could see the resemblance.

“You may go in, but don’t disturb her much. She’s under an anaesthetic to help her rest. She’s stable and she’ll be fine, I assure you.” The nurse then turned to Landon. “It’s a good thing you got there… If you were a few minutes later… But. She’ll be fine. That’s what matters.” The nurse left with the doctors, and Janelle went into the room.

“Oh, my poor girl… I’m so sorry I did this to you.” She cried as she sat down beside the bed, holding her hand.

The energy outside the room was somewhat relieved now. Everyone seemed to have let out a simultaneous sigh when the nurses informed Ms. Skye that Kaelyn was now stable.

“Thank god…” Landon said, sitting back down in his chair, feeling an immense weight being lifted from his chest.

Katrina was also relieved and she sat down next to Landon. “We were lucky,” she said, looking at the room’s door intently as if she was trying to look through it.

“We sure were,” Landon agreed.

After a while of sitting with Kaelyn and holding her hand, rubbing her hair softly. Janelle heard Kaelyn say something in a faint whisper.

“..L.Landon.” Janelle smiled lightly and got up to move toward the door. She opened it up and came outside.

“Landon… Don’t you want to go see your sister?” She asked, giving him a subtle wink.

Landon was surprised at first but smiled and stood up and followed her into the room. He turned and saw Kaelyn laying on a white, hospital bed. Her dark brown hair was spread around the pillow and her eyes were peacefully closed. A few IV dips were set into her right arm, and a few small tubes went into her mouth and, presumably, into her stomach.

“Kaelyn…” Landon could hardly speak. He was overcome with such relief and sadness he wasn’t sure how to handle all this emotion at once. He came up next to her and held her hand in his. It was warm. He had never thought in a million years that he would be ending up doing this today. In fact, he hadn't such strong feelings for her like this since camp...

“I’m so glad you’re okay…” he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks.

---

A few hours had gone by, the team and Coach Sanders had been told they could leave but not a single one of the girls wanted to leave. None of them. They all stayed outside and huddled together and shared light talk and fun memories they had had with Kaelyn in their first year of knowing her.

Katrina did most of the talking. She remembered when they finished a sprint in an almost exact tie and they spent the rest of the day bickering about who had been won. She talked about when Kaelyn and she went to a party together and they both had swarms of guys around them. They spent the rest of the night making them do stupid things for them for the rest of night. She remembered when Kaelyn had driven her to this very hospital when she slipped and twisted her ankle earlier in the season. It’s funny. It always takes a tragic event for you to remember the best memories with someone.

Meanwhile, in the emergency room; nurses and doctors came in and left, removing different equipment one by one. They took away the pump and ultimately the IV’s when she was completely stable. Kaelyn was soon fully stable and just sleeping peacefully. They had left all of them in the room to be alone.

After those many hours had gone by, Kaelyn slowly seemed to regain consciousness. Her hand moved slightly within Landon’s, almost gripping it, but it was very weak. Then, her eyes that were still a bit glazed and bloodshot began to open slightly.

Landon squeezed her hand when he felt it move and couldn’t help but grin when her eyes slowly opened. “Kaelyn,” he said softly. “It’s Landon. I’m here with your mom… The entire soccer team is waiting outside, too. They all came to make sure you’re okay…”

Kaelyn couldn’t see clearly right away, but soon the blurs disappeared as she heard Landon’s voice. She could see him and her mother by her side.

“..How did I get here?” She asked, looking to Janelle. Janelle offered a small smile and looked Landon’s way. Kaelyn understood and looked at Landon. She felt strange. Calm. Not angry at anything or that her mother was here. But, she couldn’t help but feel terrible about how she had treated Landon and Katrina. They were her friends.

“I feel like an idiot…” Kaelyn said bluntly.

Landon almost laughed. “Don’t,” he told her. “Everything’s okay now, Kaelyn…” He squeezed her hand again. “Just… try to relax, okay?”

She just shook her head. “I’m relaxed… but. Everything’s not okay… I almost killed myself, and for what? I’m supposed to be stronger than this…” Kaelyn stopped herself and sighed.

“I did an awful thing to you and Katrina… I’m sorry. If those words even mean anything. I don’t know how to make up for it…”

Landon looked down at her, sensing her genuine contrition. “We… we broke up,” he said. It was kinda obvious that they would, but he just wanted to clarify it. “But, we’re okay, I think. She’s here too, of course. We aren’t mad.”

Kaelyn frowned at Landon’s words. “I’m sorry… You did seem right for each other. How can you not be mad at me? I hurt you. I hurt her. I…”

Janelle grabbed her hand and held it tight. “Stop putting the weight of everything on your shoulders… I know you don’t mean to hurt others…”

Landon nodded. “Your mom is right,” he said. “Why do you always blame yourself for everything? It really isn’t even your fault that you’re here right now.”

Kaelyn sighed. “I don’t know. I guess it just made things easier for me, but…” She looked around the emergency room. “Clearly I was a dumbass.”

Landon laughed lightheartedly. “Well,” he said, “I can’t say that isn’t true, but… I’m just glad you’re okay. We all are.” He felt exhausted, but extremely relieved.

[Blitz]

Overnight, the nurses and doctors had to shoo away Coach Sanders, Landon, Katrina and the rest of the soccer team due to the late night rules. They all reluctantly left but were looking forward to seeing Kaelyn when she was out. Janelle stayed with Kaelyn throughout the night, sleeping in her overnight room.

The next day she was discharged and ready to go. They had her sit in a wheelchair to be wheeled out by Janelle to the car outside. She was told she would have therapy sessions three days a week and Kaelyn agreed to taking a leave of absence from school and soccer and other activities for a week or two just to relax, rest and get her head straight. Kaelyn had agreed to staying with her mother for those weeks.

They walked outside into the bright sun, it was a beautiful warm day with very few clouds. Janelle smiled as she brought Kaelyn to the car.

“Finally clearing up a bit.” She said.

“Yeah. Kinda got tired of all the rain.” Kaelyn replied. A silence grew between them.

“Mom?” Kaelyn spoke. Janelle looked up to her surprised. It was the first time Kaelyn had called her Mom in several years.

“What is it, baby?”

“I’m sorry for being so hard on you and pushing you away… I don’t want us to be like that. I don’t want things to be like they were when you left.”

Janelle started tearing up and hugged her. “Oh Kaelyn, I’m sorry too. I understand, and I promise I will be better. WE will be better.”

“I hope so…” Kaelyn said, hugging her back.

Janelle opened the front door and helped Kaelyn in before getting into the driver’s side.

Just as Ms. Skye was helping Kaelyn into the car, Landon was walking up to the hospital’s main doors from the parking lot. He was tired and hated waking up this early, but he wanted to make sure Kaelyn was still okay.

“Kaelyn!” he called out when he saw her. “Wait up a sec!” He ran forward toward the car and stood outside the window.

Kaelyn whipped her head to the side as she heard Landon’s voice call out to her. She was a bit surprised to see him here and up so early. As he came closer, Kaelyn rolled the window down to speak.

“You’re up early. I’m impressed.” She said.

Landon smiled, slightly out of breath. “I know,” he said. “I chugged a coffee to get some energy. Are you okay?”

She laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Still feel a little weak but I just need some time, ya know? That’s why I’m moving in with my mom for a few weeks before I come back here.”

Landon frowned but then nodded in return. He understood why she would be taking a momentary break from everything. She needed it. “Look, Kaelyn…” he said, looking down. “I’m… sorry.”

Kaelyn frowned when he seemed upset and looked down. “Why are you saying sorry? I should be saying it. And I should be thanking you for saving my life.”

“I hardly saved your life,” he said modestly. “I’m the one who put you in that position.”

“You idiot…” She smiled. “If you hadn’t gotten there, I’d be dead. And you did not put me in that position. I did it myself. Okay? My problems, present and past… They aren’t your fault. They were out of your control.”

Landon understood what she meant, but he couldn’t help but feel even a little guilt about what had happened. Her destructive behavior wasn’t something he was unfamiliar with. Her getting sick at Justin’s party was a perfect example. Maybe he should have seen this coming.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” he said. He was smiling, but it was obvious that he was serious. He’d never forget that night.

Kaelyn nodded, seeing through the smile, noticing the seriousness in his eyes.

“I’d say don’t worry about me, but you would anyway,” she laughed slightly, “But I promise I won’t put you through that again. I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen…” Kaelyn finished looking down, wanting everyone to understand it wasn’t a suicide attempt, but knowing people would talk and speculate.

“I’ll hold you to that promise, but I can’t promise I won’t worry,” he said. “And it’s okay. I’m just glad you pulled through it.” He smiled.

“I’m happy too. So… I’ll see you in a few weeks then. I’ll be a lot better then, and you have to fix things up with Katrina. And when I’m back I have to just… I don’t know. Get my life back on track I guess.”

Landon’s stomach turned into a knot. “About that…” he said, his voice faltering. Last night, it seemed like Katrina had forgiven him, at least a little. He still didn’t know who he wanted to choose. Why did he have to? “I can’t promise… I’ll make the right decision,” he said flatly.

Kaelyn looked at him weirdly but just ignored the thought passing through her mind. Landon was always strange.

“Well, you love her so… I’m sure you will make the right decision. That’s just kinda how you are. Always being right all the time even when it’s annoying.”

Landon shook his head. “I don’t love her,” he said. “I don’t know who I love, if anyone.” He sighed and rubbed some sand out of his eyes that still lingered from when he woke up.

“I care about you both,” he admitted. “A lot. I don’t know what I’d do without either of you.”

It took her off guard that he said he didn’t love her. But, his confusion was understandable she thought. She laughed at what he had said.

“Yeah, you’d be out acting like an idiot. That’s for sure.” She smiled but then looked into his eyes, thinking deeply. A short silence.

“Landon, I…” She started, but then stopped herself.

“I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

Landon raised an eyebrow at her hesitation but didn’t think too much about it. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but feeling like he wouldn’t see her again for a long time.

“Stay safe,” was all he could think to say. He followed it up with a subtle wink.

Kaelyn looked at him for a second, but she couldn’t leave just yet. She jumped out of the car and hugged him tightly.

Slowly loosening her embrace, she kissed him softly and quickly on the lips.

“Wait up for me, okay?”

Landon stared at her, not knowing how to respond. His lips tingled slightly. “Why did you…?” was all he managed to get out.

Kaelyn put a finger on his lips and shook her head. “I wanted to. Don’t think about it too much. Just my way of saying goodbye and thank you, for now.” She gave him a soft smile, one much like her smiles watching sunsets at camp.

At first Landon didn’t return the smile, but then he finally gave her one in return, understanding that she was right in telling him not to overthink it. He hadn’t seen her smile like that since the summer. It was comforting.

“Goodbye…” he said. “And, you’re welcome. See you when you get home.”

She nodded. “Goodbye…”

Kaelyn slowly pried herself away from Landon and went into the car. She didn’t want to leave, but she had to. For now. Her mother started the car and said thank you to Landon as well while slowly pulling out of the lot.

As they drove off into the distance, Kaelyn waved to Landon.

[Blitz]

Landon used the three weeks that Kaelyn was gone to figure out the other aspects of his life. He couldn’t help but feel pressured to pick either her… or Katrina. Despite all the history he had with Kaelyn, he had really come to care about Katrina, more than just a friend, of course. She was the ideal girlfriend: pretty, smart, sociable. Kaelyn, on the other hand, was unstable, reckless, and undeniably flirty with about every male in sight. But there was something about her that he really loved… Maybe it was because they were so alike. They understood each other. Landon felt simply torn. He had no idea what the right thing to do was.

A couple days after Kaelyn left, Landon decided to go over and talk to Katrina and try to sort things out. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too rocky.

“Landon!” Katrina said in surprise as she opened the door. “Hi…”

Landon tried to smile. “Hey,” he said amiably. “Are you busy?”

“I just got back from practice,” she answered. “But I’m free now. What’s up?”

Landon shrugged. “Wanna go for a walk?” he asked. It was a beautiful day out. Thanks to Florida’s near tropical climate, even late autumn was comfortably warm.

Katrina pondered the idea for a moment. “All right,” she said. “Come on in. I’m just need to get out of my uniform real quick.” She opened the door wider for Landon to enter, and she led him to her bed where he sat down.

“I’ll be a couple minutes,” she told him as she made her way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Landon sat there, considering what he should say to her, and when. As he continued to think for a few moments, he shook his head in frustration. He was never good at planning things out anyway. He’d just wing it.

A few seconds later, Katrina came out of the bathroom. A snug, white T-shirt hugged her upper body and her legs displayed a pair of faded, torn, jean shorts. Her golden hair was wavy now and fell about her shoulders and down to her mid-back.

“How do I look?” she asked him with a smile.

Landon looked up and smiled back at her. “As good as usual,” he said, standing up. “You ready?”

Katrina nodded, grabbing her phone and discreetly slipping it into her bra since her shorts’ pockets were too shallow. “Yes,” she said, walking toward the door. “Any place in particular you’d like to go?”

Landon shrugged, got up, and followed her outside. “Nah,” he said. “Let’s just walk.”

“Aimlessly?”

“Sure.”

Katrina shrugged, not really caring where they would’ve gone anyway. The two of them walked side by side along the side of a road silently for about a minute before Katrina finally spoke up.

“How’s Kaelyn?” she asked, looking down.

Landon took a deep breath. “She’s fine. She’ll be gone for a couple weeks to recuperate.”

“I didn’t even know she left,” Katrina said. She had been thinking she was still at the hospital.

“Yeah, she left kinda quickly. I barely came in time to see her off.”

Katrina nodded. “How long will she be gone for?”

“I dunno,” he answered. In all truth, he didn’t even know if Kaelyn was planning to come back any time soon. He hoped she was doing okay.

Another silence began to creep into their conversation. Suddenly, Landon stopped walking. Katrina continued for a few more steps, and turned around to look at him when she noticed.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, Katrina,” he said, not making eye contact with her.

Katrina’s heart hurt. She wasn’t sure how to react to this. He had betrayed her trust… But… He seemed to genuinely regret it.

“Even… If I did have feelings for her,” he said, “I shouldn’t have done that while we were dating. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did.”

Katrina felt a couple tears beginning to form in her eyes but blinked them away quickly. “Landon,” she said, taking a step toward him. “It’s okay…”

He shook his head, still looking down. “It’s not okay,” he said. “I’m just… I’m so stupid… You don’t deserve someone like me.”

Katrina placed a hand on his shoulder and crouched down slightly to look up at him. “Don’t say things like that,” she told him. “We all make mistakes, okay? I know how much you care about her.”

Landon looked down at her. He could see forgiveness shining in her eyes. It wasn’t something he got to see very often, in anyone. It was… nice.

“C’mon,” she said, straightening back up. “Let’s go grab some coffee.”

---

Three weeks had passed since Kaelyn left South Florida State. Most of the talk had faded since she left. The overdose scare went as quickly as it came. But, those three weeks gave Kaelyn a lot of time to think about her life and what she wanted. She went to therapy sessions three days a week while also trying to rebuild the broken relationship between her and her mother. And in truth, it was not easy. They had moments where they faught and Kaelyn would shut down. But ultimately, everything seemed to slowly fall into place. The genuine state of remorse shown by Janelle brought down Kaelyn’s walls.

Kaelyn forgave her. Janelle and Kaelyn held each other in a tight embrace, both in tears in that moment.

Ever since then the weeks passed by faster. They enjoyed their time together. The golden sun shining through amongst the clear blue sky. Kaelyn and Janelle went out for lunch and dinner often; spending quality time as mother and daughter. Once they even went to the beach to reminisce about earlier times.

Kaelyn for once felt clear-headed. Happy. She could finally move on from the past and go into a new life without having her defensiveness drag her down.

But, there was one thing that felt incomplete. She felt it when it was time to return to college. As the time drew closer, Landon frequented her mind a little bit more every day. She hoped he was okay. She hoped he and Katrina were okay. It saddened her to think about it, but Landon deserved someone good in his life.

The day finally came for her return to campus. The drive was pleasant and relaxing. Kaelyn let her arm hang out the window to feel the warm breeze.

At last, they arrived to her dorm. Kaelyn opened up the door and pulled out her suitcase. She took a deep breath. Janelle came around to be by her side.

“Well, we’re here.” Her mother said.

“Yeah…” Kaelyn replied, looking around.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

Kaelyn smiled. “I’ll be better than okay. I feel really good, mom… I’m going to miss you.”

“Oh, honey. I’ll be around whenever you need me, okay?” She hugged her tight. “Now you just keep your head high and do great.”

Kaelyn’s eyes watered a bit. “I love you, mom.” Janelle started to tear up. “I love you too. I’ll only be a phone call away.” They left their embrace. Janelle got back into the car and started it up. She drove off waving, and Kaelyn waved back.

After her mom was gone, Kaelyn thought about going straight to her room; but she kinda wanted a coffee.

She rolled her suitcase to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts and walked in. To her surprise, Landon was sitting at a table. A devilish smile crept on her face. Silently, she picked up her bag so it wouldn’t make so much noise.

Kaelyn moved up behind him. She put her hands over his eyes.

“Guess who.”

[Blitz]

Landon, earlier that day, had decided to unwind at the Dunkin' Donuts that he had found himself going to more and more. After ordering his usual black coffee, he was sitting at one of the tables by himself, taking small, occasional sips from his coffee and absently scrolling through messages or Tweets on his phone. It had been about three weeks since Kaelyn left to go piece her life together with her mom. He was expecting her to return any day now. He really wasn't all that anxious about it, either. He had a lot of time to mentally prepare himself for that day.

As if one cue, an unknown pair of hands came from behind him and covered his eyes. Suppressing his fight-or-flight instinct to turn around and bitch slap whoever was behind him, Landon calmly smiled as he recognized the familiar voice.

"I was just thinking about you," Landon said, taking her hands away from his eyes. He stood up to face her directly. She looked... good. Well, she always was cute, but now she looked healthier, happier.

"I'm glad you're back." He reached forward and pulled her into a close hug. It felt like it had been ages since he had seen her. It was nice to be able to talk to her again.

[Gwynbleidd]

She took a quick breath as Landon turned around. Kaelyn had been waiting to see him again, and just like him, she was also thinking about him. When Landon wrapped his arms around her, she fell into the embrace with ease. She felt safe in his arms, safe and warm. There were so many things to say and ask, but for the moment it seemed right to be silent for a little bit.

"I'm glad you're back." He had said. It was then Kaelyn finally noticed she was making herself comfortable against his chest. She looked up at him, into his eyes.

"Glad to be back." She replied with a smile. Kaelyn then slowly let go of their embrace, not wanting to.

"How have you been? Tell me everything I've missed."

[Blitz]

Landon smiled at her when she pulled away from their warm hug and she asked how things had been.

"For starters, you've missed a lot of Psych assignments," he said with a laugh. His happy face was hiding some uneasiness that was beginning to transpire inside him, despite his making sure that would not be possible. But why would he be nervous? What was there to be nervous about?

Perhaps it was those butterflies you always get when you're around someone you like. That definitely contributed to it, but maybe there was something else... Had Kaelyn really changed? Or was this transformation only temporary? That answer was crucial to the fate of their relationship.

Landon caught sight of Kaelyn's suitcase.

"You must've just gotten here," he said. "You need help unpacking?"

[Gwynbleidd]

Kaelyn let out a playful groan.

"Ugh, I know! Not only psych, but I'm going to have so much work in all of my other classes. It's going to be torture. I don't think I'm going to have time for anything but work for the rest of my life." She smiled and felt comfortable with the way things seemed to be going easy with her and Landon. When he asked if she wanted any help unpacking she shook her head.

"No, but you can help out if you want. Come on, let's get a move on loser." She said sticking her tongue out.

Kaelyn then thought about her work again and laughed. "It really is a lot of work though… I might just kill myself." She stopped and slapped a hand over her mouth right before face palming with her other hand.

"My god, that was the worst choice of words… ever." She looked at Landon, containing her laughter and smiling.

"Don't mind me. Let's just keep moving."

[Blitz]

Landon nodded and threw out his empty coffee cup at a nearby trashcan and returned to hear her jokingly say that with all the work she needed to make, she might just kill herself. The two of them paused for a moment and Landon facepalmed in disbelief.

"Yeah, good one, dumbass," Landon replied after she had finally said something.

He then followed her outside the Dunkin' Donuts toward her dorm room. On their way, they had a little bit of small talk. Despite their warm reunion, there was still a bit of awkwardness hanging between them. Or, perhaps "awkwardness" wasn't exactly the right term for it. Tension? Hesitance? Whatever it was, it wasn't all that noticeable anyway.

Finally they came to the door of Kaelyn's dorm.

"I'm surprised you don't have more luggage," Landon was saying. "Girl's have so much clothes and makeup and shoes and just general junk."

[Gwynbleidd]

Kaelyn rolled her eyes at Landon's comment.

Their walk through campus was relatively peaceful. The sun was up high and the sky was spotless, as though someone took a towel and wiped the clouds away. There was a gentle breeze that made the warmth of the day feel more relaxed. Although things were calm, Kaelyn could feel tension between her and Landon. Like neither one of them knew what to say. Or, they knew what they wanted to say but not how or when to say it.

At last they got to her door and Landon made a smartass comment about girls. She laughed lightly.

"Yeah, well I fit a lot of 'junk' into this one suitcase, and it was only three weeks." She looked at the door and back to Landon.

"And maybe us girls have so much clothes and 'junk' because know how to look good. Unlike some people." Kaelyn teased.

[Blitz]

Landon sneered. "Please," he said. "We boys don't need to cake our faces with an ounce of makeup and eyeliner to feel pretty. I already know I'm gorgeous." He laughed and crossed his arms as Kaelyn opened the door to her dorm.

It had been a while since he was last in there. The lights were turned off and it smelled, well, mostly like perfume. It wasn't a huge mess like Landon had expected, since her roommate had a good three weeks of having the dorm to herself. But actually, everything seemed in order and Kaelyn's bed was neatly made in loyal wait of her arrival.

The original mess of Kaelyn's rampage was also cleaned up. The clothes were assumedly put back into the dresser, and, now framed neatly, was a picture of Kaelyn's soccer team's picture. Katrina and Kaelyn had their arms on each other's shoulders and they had playful smiles on their faces. Next to it, was an unframed picture that looked like it had been unfolded. Landon knew what it was, but he didn't point it out. He was afraid to.

With a sigh, Landon sat down on her bed and tiredly rubbed his forehead. "So, where should we start?" he asked.

[Gwynbleidd]

She scoffed in a playful tone at him. "Yeah, you're so totally gorgeous like oh my god. Can I have your number?" Kaelyn gave him a playful shove as he opened the door and entered the room. "In your dreams, maybe."

Kaelyn was not so surprised to see her room completely cleaned up. She felt bad for Lacey, a soccer teammate who was also her roommate if she had to clean it all up. But then she was surprised to see the team soccer photo framed on the dresser. Kaelyn smiled but also her heart sank a little looking at Katrina. She sighed, knowing full well there were a lot of things other than schoolwork to make up for.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw an unfolded photo near the framed picture. Kaelyn recognized it. She picked it up and looked at it. With a smile on her face, she unfolded it a little bit more to try and get the creases out. After, she tucked the photo in a corner of the frame.

Acknowleding Landon, finally, Kaelyn looked to him sitting on her bed. She sat next to him but strategically placed herself further away.

"Well, I think my clothes and stuff can wait for a little bit. How about you help me with my psych work?"

[Blitz]

Landon, who was watching Kaelyn, saw her pick up the photo, smooth out the creases, and tuck it into the corner of the framed soccer picture. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t need to. He lifted an eyebrow when she sat a good distance away from him on her bed and asked him about the psych work instead of asking for help with her clothes.

It was so bizarre seeing Kaelyn like this. She was always calm and collected, but the air she had about her right now was on a completely different level.

“Well you’re extremely lucky that we weren’t assigned any big projects,” Landon said, looking up to the ceiling as he tried to remember the last three weeks. “I actually don’t think you’ll have too much trouble catching up, considering it could be so much worse. The professors pretty chill too, he’d probably tell you all the assignments you need to make up.”

He crossed his arms, still thinking, and nodded in conclusion. “That’s really it,” he finished. “You go off easy. But I can’t say the same about your other classes? Aren’t you studying law? Yeah, have fun with that.”

He chuckled slightly and stood up. “But seriously, I can give you some help if you need it… And speaking of help, why don’t we get a start on your clothes?”

[Gwynbleidd]

Kaelyn could tell Landon was studying her closely. She was calm, but not in the sense she had always been. This calmness wasn't one of being able to have a barrier between her and the other person. It wasn't her playing the game of hiding her feelings with near mastery she had always played. For the first time, Kaelyn felt a true sereneness. Happy, even. At least, happier than she'd ever been. This new feeling also let her feel nervous. Being around Landon, and feeling all these different emotions without suppressing them threw her off. It was refreshing.

She smiled at what he had said. Not having much psych work was very nice to hear. Kaelyn nodded as he mentioned her law classes. Those assignments were going to be extremely unpleasant to catch up with.

She got up as he went over to her suitcase, flashing a playful smile. "I'm sure you'd love to help me with my clothes, wouldn't you?" Kaelyn laughed after she had said it.

"Kidding, of course. I'd love some help." She said, opening up her suitcase full of clothes.

[Blitz]

Landon stood up and crossed his arms. "I'm just trying to help you you out here," he said in an accused voice. "Is that such a crime?"

He chuckled and walked over to her suitcase to help her. She opened it to reveal neatly folded clothes and various toiletries packed inside. Landon was surprised they weren't just thrown inside. That was his go-to method of packing a suitcase. He reached inside a grabbed two folded shirts and pulled them out, placing them neatly on the floor next to the luggage.

"I don't know how you want to organize all your clothes," he told her, "so you can put them away however you want."

He reached in to grab another article of clothing when he finger came into contact with something cold. Raising an eyebrow, he lifted up a pair of jeans to reveal a silver chain necklace with a heart pendant at the bottom that looked like it might have been unknowingly stuck there.

"Wait a second," Landon said, pulling it out and holding it up for her to see. An almost smug smile was plastered on his face. "I gave this to you!"

[Gwynbleidd]

“You’re so dumb,” Kaelyn laughed and gave him a little shove when he came to help pull things out of her suitcase.

Kaelyn blushed when Landon pulled the heart pendant out of her bag. She had been carrying that pendant around almost like a good luck charm with her during her recovery break. But, she forgot about it completely when Landon had been pulling out clothes and inadvertently found it underneath everything.

She could see the smug smile coming to his face, but he restrained its potential to cross over into full on cockiness.

Kaelyn tried to play it cool, brushing her hair back nonchalantly. “Oh, I must’ve totally forgot I had that in there.” But, the blush on her face was still there.

“Your blush incriminates you,” Landon said. He held the pendant up and examined it closer. “I can’t believe you kept this with you all this time.”

“Guess I’m busted.” Kaelyn smiled as she came closer to Landon and looked at it with him. It was a beautiful pendant.

“Well, it’s a really pretty necklace… And it meant a lot for you to give me. It means a lot to me too…”

Landon continued to look at it for a moment. All the memories associated with it started to slowly and painfully resurface, but he quickly shut his eyes to push them back out again. When he opened his eyes again, he smiled and handed the pendant to her.

“Well, I’m glad it means that much to you,” he said. “It has a lot of… history. My dad gave it to my mom before I was born.”

“I know. You told me at camp.” Kaelyn replied as she took the pendant from him when he handed it to her. She looked down at it in her hands, and traced her finger around the cold metal. Although it was cold, it gave her a feeling of warmth.

She looked up at Landon and smiled, unclasping the necklace. “Help me put it on?” Kaelyn said, turning around.

Landon nodded. “Sure,” he said. He stood up and crouched down behind her and took the loose ends of the necklace. He pulled them back a bit and snapped the metal ring into the clasp.

“There you go,” he told her, returning to his original position in front of her. “Look great. You ought to wear it more often.”

Kaelyn shivered when he got so close and slide the necklace around her neck. Their closeness was intoxicating. She wanted the moment to last forever but soon enough, Landon snapped it into place and that was that.

She smiled at him. “Maybe I will.” A silence grew between them. Both were unsure. But, she had to know.

“But, what about you and Katrina?” Kaelyn blurted it out.

That was the taboo question. Landon had been hoping this entire time that she wouldn’t mention Katrina, but he knew it was going to happen eventually. He couldn’t try to evade it any longer.

“I…” Landon looked down at his hands, which were now trembling slightly.

Kaelyn’s heart sunk at his hesitation. She unclasped the necklace and shook her head at him. “Sh.. You don’t have to say anything.” She handed the necklace back to him.

“Give it to her…”

Landon gaped at her.

“No Kaelyn, I… I gave that to you,” he urged her, pushing her hand back toward her. “I can’t just take it back.”

She sighed and took it back, knowing he would continue to refuse. He was stubborn and annoying like that.

Kaelyn didn’t know what to say. He was clearly confused.

“You haven’t decided on anything, have you?”

Landon knew Kaelyn would get angry at the answer.

“No,” he said, looking down.

“Hey, look at me.” Kaelyn started. His answer didn’t surprise her, but it was his attitude about it that was frustrating.

“I’m not angry. I know people don’t just change overnight, but… I’m not really the same person anymore. I’m not going to get mad or upset, okay?” She looked around and then back at him, considering her words.

She put the necklace back on. It was difficult to say what she wanted to say to him. Why were three little words so difficult to say? But they aren’t so little when you think about it. It wasn’t the time or place for it either.

Kaelyn decided to express that emotion in a way without saying it.

“Whatever you choose… I care about you. I’ve always cared about you. We can be friends or anything. I’ll always be your girl, Landon.”

[Blitz]

Landon stared at Kaelyn, at a complete loss for words. This was the most emotion she'd ever expressed for him, ever. He had no idea how to respond to such a statement. What was she trying to say? Did she still like him? She did seem like she would genuinely be okay with staying friends, but he could see in her eyes that deep down, she wanted to be so much more.

"Kaelyn..." he began. But, he stopped. He didn't know how to finish that sentence exactly...

"I really, really care about you both..." was all he could think of to say. He couldn't decide right there. He had to talk to Katrina.