So, I'm going to take a couple risks here; one, the fact that this is more of a mature topic (BDSM/sex/etc.), and I'm not sure if it is appropriate to talk about here: and two, that many people might actually just dismiss this post in general, or bad mouth it.
Anyways! In case anyone hasn't heard about it (and let's face it, almost eeeeveryone has), there is a movie coming out based off of the book Fifty Shades of Grey. What I want to talk about, are general thoughts and feelings about the book, the movie, and probably the dynamic in general.
As a Dominant, myself, my main concern about this book is that it totally misinforms the public about BDSM. The mantra that all of us kinksters know is, "safe, sane, and consensual." This being said, let it be known that Christian Grey is, in every sense, an abuser. Not only does he stalk Anastasia, but takes her home, undresses and changes her (while she is DRUNK), then tells her he is going to keep tabs on her for "her benefit."
Also, a big part of the relationship (especially concerning after a session) is aftercare. Scenes can be very traumatizing, and it is imperative that the Dom provides aftercare. What does Christian do after submitting Ana to her first (and very traumatizing, I might add) experience? Leave. Yep. That's right folks, he leaves, and on top of that, gets mad at Ana for not telling him she was hurt, even though a true Dom would have stayed and provided care anyway.
Now, concerning the "consentual" part of the relationship that was absent in this book, he undresses her while she is drunk. He tracks her phone. Sends a shit ton of emails and texts, that in some parts of the books, make her uncomfortable. He also buys her a car, despite the fact that she refuses many times. And let's look at the way Christian asks for a woman who has never, ever been in any BDSM relationship in her life; a contract. A list of kinks and rules. He doesn't even give the poor girl any information on the topic. He just gives her an ultimatum, "sign this or you don't get me." And sure, she could have looked herself, but that's not what a responsible Dom would have a potential sub/girlfriend do, especially one that has never been in a relationship like this before.
Anyway, those are more or less my thoughts on the book, and movie, that is going to do nothing good (other than maybe vaguely showing people what BDSM is), for anyone. In fact, it most likely will show guys it's okay to be a total ass hole, and an abusive fuck, and it's going to tell women that all it takes to be in a relationship like that is just being used. Moreover, it's going to show couples that all BDSM is is spankings and rough sex, which it isn't.
I'd love to know what you guys think. So, comment below. That's just my (and a lot of the community's) take on it.
Anyways! In case anyone hasn't heard about it (and let's face it, almost eeeeveryone has), there is a movie coming out based off of the book Fifty Shades of Grey. What I want to talk about, are general thoughts and feelings about the book, the movie, and probably the dynamic in general.
As a Dominant, myself, my main concern about this book is that it totally misinforms the public about BDSM. The mantra that all of us kinksters know is, "safe, sane, and consensual." This being said, let it be known that Christian Grey is, in every sense, an abuser. Not only does he stalk Anastasia, but takes her home, undresses and changes her (while she is DRUNK), then tells her he is going to keep tabs on her for "her benefit."
Also, a big part of the relationship (especially concerning after a session) is aftercare. Scenes can be very traumatizing, and it is imperative that the Dom provides aftercare. What does Christian do after submitting Ana to her first (and very traumatizing, I might add) experience? Leave. Yep. That's right folks, he leaves, and on top of that, gets mad at Ana for not telling him she was hurt, even though a true Dom would have stayed and provided care anyway.
Now, concerning the "consentual" part of the relationship that was absent in this book, he undresses her while she is drunk. He tracks her phone. Sends a shit ton of emails and texts, that in some parts of the books, make her uncomfortable. He also buys her a car, despite the fact that she refuses many times. And let's look at the way Christian asks for a woman who has never, ever been in any BDSM relationship in her life; a contract. A list of kinks and rules. He doesn't even give the poor girl any information on the topic. He just gives her an ultimatum, "sign this or you don't get me." And sure, she could have looked herself, but that's not what a responsible Dom would have a potential sub/girlfriend do, especially one that has never been in a relationship like this before.
Anyway, those are more or less my thoughts on the book, and movie, that is going to do nothing good (other than maybe vaguely showing people what BDSM is), for anyone. In fact, it most likely will show guys it's okay to be a total ass hole, and an abusive fuck, and it's going to tell women that all it takes to be in a relationship like that is just being used. Moreover, it's going to show couples that all BDSM is is spankings and rough sex, which it isn't.
I'd love to know what you guys think. So, comment below. That's just my (and a lot of the community's) take on it.
