[IC] Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow ground his teeth as Elizabeth insisted that they had slept together the night before. The thought of it was completely ridiculous to him. What was she even trying to do, get revenge on him after he’d made her leave his room without any clothes on? He couldn’t see what she had to gain by lying to everyone that they had been intimate with each other besides that. After all, she would have to be delusional to still be holding onto the hope that he would want to court her after everything she’d done to him and Penelope. He didn’t want anything more to do with her after she’d snuck into his bedchamber to seduce him.

He was just about to remind Elizabeth that the guards who’d seen her leave his bedchamber hadn’t seen them sleep together, but he didn’t get the chance before Cedric spoke up. The viceroy turned to the nobleman in unbridled surprise as he confirmed that rumors had indeed been spreading. Even though he’d heard that nobles liked to gossip, he hadn’t expected word to travel so quickly. Still, even if someone as dense as Cedric believed it, that didn’t mean everyone else did too… right? He closed his mouth, suddenly unsure what was going to happen now that the wildfire had begun.

To his further astonishment, Penelope even seemed to side with the other nobles. He turned to her in shock as she muttered a quiet “right” in support of what her former suitor had said. The simple word stung him quite a bit. Did she really believe he would have slept with Elizabeth while she was gone? He may not have had the best track record when it came to being honest about other things, but he’d been nothing less than faithful to her, even when Rikki—someone who had been much closer to him than Liz—had tried to bed him. He thought he’d earned more of her trust than this, so to hear her fall for the other woman’s lies so easily wrenched his stomach.

The viceroy dropped his gaze to his lap as Penelope announced that she had to go, too overwhelmed to even think about chasing after her. Part of him was desperate to reconcile the situation by explaining that nothing had actually happened between him and Elizabeth, but another part of him was hurt that she had believed the gossip in the first place. So, he stayed where he was, torn in two, while she hurried out of the Great Hall.

As soon as she was gone, Liz settled down in the now-empty seat at Crow’s side. “Wow,” she mused, glancing over her shoulder at the door. “I’ve never seen anyone so excited to write letters in my entire life. She really doesn’t know how to stop working, does she?”

“She’s just dedicated,” Cedric spoke up in the knight’s defense. “Without people like her, nothing would ever get done around here.”

You’re both wrong, Crow thought dismally to himself, lifting a bite of chicken to his mouth. The meat was tasteless to him as his stomach continued to turn with a tangle of negative emotions. Penelope hadn’t left because she was eager to write; she had run because she hadn’t trusted him enough to keep his hands off other women when she wasn’t around. The thought sent a knife through his heart, and he fought the urge to grimace outwardly, not wanting the others to pick up on how upset he was over the knight’s disappearance.

Elizabeth and Cedric continued to speak casually for a little while longer while Crow ate in silence. It took him longer than usual to finish his food, but once his plate had been cleared, he stood up from the table. “I’m going to bed,” he muttered, hoping the other nobles would mistake the faint irritation in his voice for weariness.

“I’ll walk you to your room,” Liz offered with a smile, standing up as well.

“Don’t,” Crow shot her a warning look. “I want to be alone.”

The noblewoman wavered for a moment before she sank back down in her seat. She’d seen the harsh side of his temper enough now to know that she didn’t want to see it again. “Alright,” she shrugged. “I’ll see you later then. Goodnight, Collin.”

Still mad at her for encouraging the lie that they’d slept together, the viceroy didn’t bother responding as he turned around to head back to his bedchamber.

When he stepped into the hallway, he stopped for a moment, glancing in the direction that led toward the knights’ quarters in the castle. He shifted his weight, debating if he should look for Penelope to clear things up with her now. However, he brushed the thought aside and continued walking to the stairs. Even if he managed to find her, he wasn’t sure what he would say. He was hurt that she would be so quick to believe that he would betray her trust, and he didn’t know if she would believe the truth if he told it to her. If she continued to think he was lying to save face, he didn’t know if he could handle it.

So, with a heavy heart, he trudged up to his room, deciding there was nothing more that he could do to fix the mess he’d landed in that night.

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope headed straight to her room and closed the door softly behind her. She let out a small sniffle and wiped her eyes. The knight felt rather foolish. She had had the feeling of unease at the potential of a situation like this happening. However, that didn't make it hurt any less. Despite the voice in the back of her head, she had trusted Crow. It was why she had never brought up her feelings to him since she didn't want him to think she didn't trust him. Looking back on it now, the knight partly wished should have. Perhaps things would have turned out differently is she had.

Laying down on her bed, she closed her eyes tightly, wishing Elizabeth had never showed up at the castle. None of this would have been an issue if she hadn't. Sure other noblewomen were trying to get the viceroy to court them but none of them were nearly as bold as the woman. Crow wouldn't have been unfaithful without whatever trick Liz had used. Penelope let out a shaky sigh and rested her arm over her eyes.

The worst part was that she had no idea where this left them. It was painful and confusing to not know what would come next. They hadn't even had a chance to speak about it and it was difficult to say when they would. As much as it did hurt, it was hard to even consider leaving him. He had done so much for her by even taking the position he was currently that this one betrayal didn't feel like nearly enough to leave him. Perhaps we'll just have to be apart until we can start courting.. the knight thought, feeling her throat grow tight.

Suddenly feeling the urge to push the issue aside, she decided to try and get some sleep. It unfortunately didn't come easily though. Penelope tossed and turned throughout the night before finally falling into a less than perfect sleep.

[Rogue Sloth]

The next morning, Crow woke up in a panic as usual, but found that he was able to calm himself down with less effort than it took him before. As soon as he sat upright, he remembered that the visions were all just a product of his imagination, and he forced himself to breathe through them until they faded from his mind. The exercise with tiring, but he felt proud of himself for the accomplishment and laid back down, intending to get more rest, since it was still quite early. However, he had barely closed his eyes when he realized something was off.

Sitting up again, the viceroy knitted his brow and looked over the room. Preston was nowhere to be seen. Strange, he mused concernedly. Come to think of it, the attendant had been gone since breakfast the previous day. He hadn’t thought too much of his absence at supper, since there had been other, more pressing things on his mind, but now that the boy had been missing for a full day, he was starting to worry that something was wrong. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much time to dwell on it.

As his thoughts wandered back to the previous night, Penelope’s hurt face flashed through his mind, and he winced. He still couldn’t believe just how much damage Elizabeth had managed to do in the span of a day. Rumors were probably already flying around the castle about the two of them, and the woman he actually loved believed the word of her peers over him. He felt a stab of pain. After everything they had been through together, he’d thought he had earned more of her trust than this, but apparently she still saw him as nothing more than a lying criminal who would betray her at the first opportunity.

Crow’s gaze shifted to the door as he considered going to breakfast early to avoid Penelope. After all, he wasn’t sure what he would do if he faced her while he was still feeling so slighted. He didn’t want to say or do anything he would regret. However, the thought of running didn’t sit well with him either. If he stayed away from her, he couldn’t tell her what had actually happened, and he didn’t want her to keep thinking he had chosen Liz over her while she’d been gone. He’d been too upset to deal with the situation last night, but now that he was a little more level-headed, he wanted to resolve the conflict.

Coming to a decision, he slid his legs over the edge of the bed and climbed down from the mattress to get ready for the day. Once he was dressed and slightly more put-together than he was before, the viceroy headed out of his room, walking toward the Great Hall at a quickened pace in his eagerness to talk to Penelope. But, when he made it about halfway down the corridor, he slowed down as another thought crossed his mind: Even if he found and spoke with the knight in the crowded room, they wouldn’t have the privacy they needed to get anywhere with the discussion. He didn’t want to have such a private conversation in front of an audience, where they couldn’t speak honestly with each other or say what was on their minds. It would have to be done somewhere else.

Swallowing nervously, he picked up his pace again as he decided to go somewhere else first.

--

Crow stood skittishly in front of John Vermillion’s door, shuffling his feet with anxious energy as he waited for the older knight to answer his knocking. He could hear the sound of movement on the other side, telling him that Penelope’s father was inside. It was only a matter of time before he appeared.

The viceroy didn’t have to wait long.

After a pause, the door creaked open as John pulled it from the other side. As soon as his jade eyes landed on the former thief, they narrowed, telling him that the knight had already heard the rumors, just as he’d feared.

“What do you want, Lockton?” John growled, glaring at the viceroy with the hostility of a protective father.

Crow grimaced and lowered his gaze, feeling guilty even though he knew he’d done nothing wrong. “I was hoping you could tell me where Penelope’s room is,” he requested tentatively. “I have something I wish to speak with her about in private.”

“And just why would I do that?” the knight spat, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know what you did. You have nothing to say to my daughter, cur.”

Crow had to fight the urge to shrink beneath the older man’s cold gaze. He forced himself to look up, trying to hold his ground and show the sincerity in his eyes, “I know what you heard, and it isn’t true. Err… I mean a piece of it is, but the rest was just gossip spread by the night guards. I swear, I never broke Penelope’s trust.”

“Please,” John scoffed. “You’ve spent your whole life lying to protect yourself. I know better than to believe the word of a thief.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” Crow raised his voice slightly in frustration and then took a breath to reign in his temper. “I didn’t even touch that woman when she came to my bedchamber. I know you think I’m no better than my father, and I know you don’t think I’m a decent man because I have the standards of a peasant, but I would never stray from your daughter. I love her too much to even think of it. So, please, tell me where she is so I can clear this up.”

John fell quiet for a moment, nearly giving the viceroy hope that he’d gotten through to him, but in the next moment, his gaze hardened again. “Go back to bed, Lockton,” he muttered, moving to close the door between them.

Crow stared after him with wide eyes. If Penelope’s father didn’t tell him where she was, there was no way he would be able to find her before breakfast, and there was no telling if or when they would have a chance to speak alone.

Before he had a chance to think it through, he shoved his foot in the door, barring the knight from closing him out. “Please,” he tried again. “Wait. I’m not lying to you.”

“Step back,” John growled at him.

“No,” Crow said firmly. “I’m not going to stand aside and let some woman I barely even know ruin my name with these rumors.” He held the knight’s gaze with new determination. “I gave up everything I knew in the outer villages to be with Penelope. Do you really think I would throw her aside as easily as the gossips in this castle would have you believe? I swear, I’ve always been faithful to her. That other woman tried to sleep with me, that much is true, but I turned her away. I don’t want to be with anyone beside your daughter.” He took a breath, going on in a tired voice. “Please. You have to believe me. I don’t want to lose her over this.”

John seemed to waver at that. He remained silent for a long moment before he let out a sigh. “Fine,” he said resignedly. “I still don’t know if I believe you, but I trust Penelope to make that decision for herself. Her room is down this hallway on the left side, two doors down in the adjacent wing.”

“Thank you,” Crow’s shoulder’s fell with relief. He dipped his head to the knight gratefully and hurried off to find Penelope.

Her room was easy enough to locate, but when he reached it, the viceroy hesitated. Knowing that she believed he’d been unfaithful to her, he wasn’t sure what to expect when she opened the door. No matter what, she was going to be upset with him. He shifted his weight from his left foot to his right. He’d come this far already, so there was no point in turning back. She needed to know the truth.

He lifted his hand and knocked on the door.

[BuzzingBee]

Since she hadn't slept as well as usual, the knight woke up at the slightest things throughout the whole night. It was exhausting really so by the time morning did come, she didn't bother to get up right away. Weary and feeling a bit sluggish, Penelope turned away from the sunlight that was seeping into the room and closed her eyes again. She didn't want to get up quite yet. Though it was unlike her to sleep late into the morning, she was a bit afraid of what the day would bring and for once, that out weighed her need to make the most of her time.

After all, she wasn't sure when she'd ever be able to properly talk with Crow. There were always other people around. There was no sense in rushing anywhere when it wouldn't solve anything at the moment. She let out a long breath and buried her head into her pillow as she shut her eyes tightly. Satisfied with the decision for now, she began to doze off once more.

Then a knock came. Penelope cracked one eye open and let out a small groan. It was probably the Lenzs. At least, she assumed it was. Who else would have reason to come to her room? She reluctantly sat up and stretched out her back before slipping into her boots and straightening her appearance a bit. Walking over to the door, she opened it slightly and looked out, only to be surprised as her gaze fell on Crow instead of Dimia or Oliver. She blinked, caught off guard by his sudden arrival. She didn't even know he knew where her room was.

Having thought a conversation between them wouldn't happen for a while, the knight didn't know what to do at first. She moved her gaze away from him and shifted a bit uneasily. As much as she dreaded the conversation, it needed to happen. She glanced around the hallway, making sure it was clear before stepping out of the doorway. "Come in." she said softly. Once he stepped inside, she quietly shut the door behind him and then turned to face him. She opened her mouth but unsure what to say, she closed it again, deciding to let him speak first.

[Rogue Sloth]

As soon as the door opened and Penelope peeked out at him, Crow’s mind went blank. He met her gaze, half of him wanting to spill out all the things he had to say to her right then and there, and half of him too tongue-tied to speak at all. When she didn’t move, he tensed, momentarily worried that she might have taken after her father in his propensity to slam doors in others’ faces. However, his fear was laid to rest when she stepped aside to let him come in.

The viceroy lingered in the hallway for a second longer before he walked into the room, letting his gaze wander over the small space. Like John’s bedchamber, there wasn’t anything special about it. The castle guards probably all had the same kind of rooms, since they weren’t as high up in rank as himself or his sister. His lip twitched at the thought. Having been one of the lowest members of Brerratic society just weeks before, it still felt strange for him to consider himself an upper-class citizen.

Crow didn’t dwell on the thought for long though as he turned back to face Penelope, who seemed to be waiting for him to break the silence between them. He shifted his weight slightly, unsure where to begin. While he was upset that she hadn’t trusted him enough to believe he would remain faithful in her absence, he didn’t want to start the conversation by pointing fingers. The most important thing was to make sure she knew he hadn’t strayed and slept with another woman.

Deciding that was what he wanted to address first, the viceroy took a steeling breath, leaning back against the edge of her desk and resting his hands in his pockets to keep from defensively crossing his arms over his chest. “First, I just want to ask that you hear me out,” he said, keeping his voice down as he held her gaze. It was harder to do in the midst of the conflict, but he wanted her to know he was being honest with her, so he forced himself not to look away.

He went on, “I know what the rumors about me have been saying, and I will admit that they are true in part. The night guards did see Liz leave my room two nights ago, and she was wearing a bedsheet. However,” he held up his hands, just in case the knight might try to interrupt him. “Everything else they’ve been saying is a lie.”

He shifted his weight, uncomfortable as the memory of his encounter with the noblewoman came back to him. “Two nights ago after supper, I went back to my bedchamber to get some sleep and found that Liz had gone there ahead of me. She—” He faltered, reddening slightly in spite of himself. “She was undressed and waiting on my bed with the expectation that we would sleep together. When I saw her, I had no idea what to do, since I hadn’t planned to deal with a situation like that after a long day, so I sort of… Well, let’s just say I didn’t handle it gracefully.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “She had me flustered, so I-I threw a bedsheet at her and told her to get out.”

The blush on his cheeks refused to fade as he admitted to the mistake, “In hindsight I know it wasn’t the best way I could have handled her, but in the moment, I didn’t think it through. I just wanted her to leave because having her there was too overwhelming for me. She reminded me of Rikki, and I was afraid of losing you.” He frowned, studying her face with a hint of worry. “Penelope, I would never break your trust by sleeping with someone else. Please believe me. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I’m not going to give you up for a meaningless fling.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope gave a small nod as he asked her to hear him out. She had been planning to listen to his side of it all, even though she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it. So as he began to explain, the knight stood there fidgeting uncomfortably with her hands as began to say how parts of the rumors were true. As he claimed everything else as a lie, Penelope shifted a bit with uncertainty. She wanted to believe his words at face value but it was difficult to so instead, she just remained quiet.

Listening to him explain what had gone on behind closed doors, Penelope frowned slightly as he described how Liz had gone ahead of him. It reminded her of how Naida had been worried that the noblewoman would have tried to meet him in his room. Before it had seemed a bit ridiculous, but now the knight saw that the princess had been on the right track after all. Elizabeth had been even more bold than they both had previously thought and that was the exact reason why Penelope had felt so uneasy with that woman around.

As he explained how he had handled the situation, she felt rather swayed by his words. After all, the night guards hadn't mentioned anything about seeing them enter the room together and with the way Elizabeth had acted the night prior, it wasn't a far fetched guess that she was just milking the opportunity that the rumors had presented her. Liz had made it clear that she had viewed her as competition so the noblewoman was likely trying to act like she had won. Penelope certainly didn't put it past her to lie about such a thing. As he mentioned being reminded of Rikki and afraid of losing her, the knight flinched slightly. Perhaps she had jumped to a conclusion too fast after all.

Penelope looked over at Crow and mirrored his frown. "I.. It's not that I think you would jump at the chance to... I was just was afraid that maybe Elizabeth would somehow entice you into it somehow." she explained, shuffling her feet. "And it's not like how it was when it was Rikki, either. Rikki was more of a worry for me in.. other ways but I could at least fight back against her, assert myself to some degree, but I can't with Liz. And just sitting back watching is terrible."

Penelope paused before going on in a weaker voice. "I know you love me but.. I'm worried maybe, that won't be enough right now. At least back then we'd have a night or two a week..I mean, gods the most we can usually get away with right now is holding hands under the table when we eat and that's only sometimes as it is." She shifted her gaze to the ground suddenly feeling rather meek as she admitted her worries to him out loud. She also recalled her prior solution to this mess. While she did believe him, that didn't completely alleviate her worries. Penelope bit her lip before hesitantly adding. "I-I believe you, Crow but.. if you think perhaps, not being together until we're actually able to court would be best.. we could do that." She really didn't want to but at least she'd give him the option since she was even more worried after hearing just how bold ELizabeth could be.

[Rogue Sloth]

As Penelope began to answer him hesitantly, Crow could tell his explanation hadn’t been enough to ease her worries. He felt a twinge of frustration. It was difficult for him to listen to her speak about their relationship with so much fear when he’d tried so hard to prove to her in the past that he wasn’t going to stray while they were together. He knew he’d lied in other ways before, and he’d nearly slipped up when Rikki had tried to seduce him, but he had learned from his past mistakes. He wasn’t going to risk hurting her by giving in to a fleeting temptation. She was worth too much to him for that.

Hearing the knight go on to explain how the situation with Elizabeth was different than it had been with Rikki, Crow averted his gaze. He couldn’t understand why she was so bothered by a noblewoman he hadn’t even spoken with in seven years. His history with the other thief had been much more recent and complex, which was why he’d been more drawn to her than he’d ever felt to Liz. Even when the noblewoman had shown up in his bedchamber completely naked, he’d been attracted to her—it was an impulse he couldn’t control—but he hadn’t considered sleeping with her for a moment. In fact, the strongest emotion he’d felt toward her at the time had been disgust alongside a strong desire to make her leave. The temptation he’d experienced with Rikki hadn’t shown up at all.

Crow crossed his arms as Penelope went on to talk about how she didn’t think she was enough for him now that their time alone was so limited. Of course, he disagreed with that completely. His affection for her wasn’t tied to any conditions like how often they were able to sleep together. It would have been a lie for him to say that he wasn’t a little frustrated with the lack of intimacy recently, but he had enough self-control not to bed the first woman who offered him a chance because of it. Even if they had to wait until they were married, he was willing to do so if it meant he could have her at the end of the drought.

At her final words, the viceroy looked up with a frown. He wasn’t sure what she was trying to do by suggesting they should stop being together, but he knew he didn’t like it. “Why would separating help anything?” he asked, wincing at the slight defensiveness in his own voice. Not wanting to start a fight, he continued in a gentler tone, “I’m sorry, love, but I just don’t see how that would solve this. You said you couldn’t bear to watch Liz flirt with me. Wouldn’t it be worse to watch me flirt with other women?”

He shook his head. “Besides that, I wouldn’t want to start our courtship with the baggage of both of us knowing that I was sleeping around right before we got back together. It would only complicate things because I’m sure the other people in the castle would gossip about me. You would know, and everyone else would too. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or ruin your name, and that’s the fastest way for me to do both.”

A half smile crossed his lips, and he stepped away from the desk to wrap his arms around her back. “All that other stuff aside, you’re the only one I want to be with,” he said, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. “I don’t care if we have to wait a month or two months or even a year before we can be with each other again. I love you, Penelope, and no amount of time apart is ever going to change that.” He leaned in to press a tender kiss to her lips and pulled back again with a fond smile. “So, please don’t get it in your head that I’m not happy or satisfied with you, because I am. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, darling, no matter if we can be intimate or not.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope blinked in mild surprise as she detected the defensiveness in his tone. She looked back up at him as he went on to attack the idea in a gentler voice. Her idea had been more so to let him do as he pleased without feeling like he had been unfaithful to her in the process. She didn't exactly like it but it had been the best she had been able to come up with at the time. Though, he was right about the faultiness of it. She would have been miserable if she had to watch him flirt with other women. Her name wasn't as much of a concern to her of course but she still appreciated the thought. Regardless of it all, hearing him deny it certainly made her feel relieved. It had really been a plan for a different situation, one where she had thought he had been unfaithful, so she was more than glad to toss it aside.

As he wrapped his arms around her, she relaxed and slipped her arms around him, returning the embrace. Penelope gave a soft smile as he rested his forehead against hers. His words made her heart flutter and she leaned in to meet his lips as he kissed her. As he pulled back, she smiled at him and gave a small nod, feeling more than reassured by his words. However, her smile faded a bit as she realized she had let her paranoia get to her, just like she had been afraid it would have. She felt a stab of guilt and lowered her gaze with shame.

"I'm sorry about listening to those stupid rumors.." she told him softly. The knight forced herself to lift her gaze to meet his once more. "I do trust you, Crow. I.. I just had a lot of 'what if's in my head with Liz around." she admitted giving her shoulders a small shrug. "Then when it sounded like something did happen, I guess I just gave into them. I should have known better but it was hard to imagine a different explanation at the time.. I mean, I thought Elizabeth was bold but I certainly didn't expect her to be that bold." Penelope wrinkled her nose slightly then gave him an apologetic look. "Regardless, it won't happen again."

[Rogue Sloth]

When Penelope smiled back at him, Crow was glad to see that she seemed to be feeling better. He didn’t want her to be hurt by something that hadn’t even happened. Elizabeth had been confident when she’d approached him, but he’d still turned her down. If she tried again, he knew with certainty that he would never say yes to her at any other time. She was nothing to him in comparison with the knight. He would wait as long as it took and fend off as many greedy women as he could—though he hoped Liz was the only one—to be with her at the end of it all. No fling was worth losing her trust.

However, the moment didn’t last long before Crow noticed Penelope’s face fall with guilt. He knitted his brow, confused until she apologized for believing the rumors that had been spread about him. Her words made him tense slightly as he was reminded of his own hurt throughout everything that had happened yesterday. Part of the problem had been solved, but there was still another part remaining. Even though her explanation of why she had listened to the lies helped a bit, he couldn’t bring himself to feel better about it. After all, he wanted to be someone she could trust, but apparently his efforts hadn’t been enough for her. Just thinking of it again made him grimace.

When the knight finished speaking, Crow didn’t answer her right away. It was tempting to just forgive her and put an end to the discussion, so they could move on. He would certainly be more comfortable doing so, since he disliked addressing his own emotions. However, he couldn’t bring himself to believe that something like this would never happen again. She had said she wouldn’t listen to gossip again, but really, what was there to stop her from questioning him if or when rumors spread about him the next time? He didn’t want to have to prove his faithfulness to her every time anyone claimed he’d slept with someone else. It would be exhausting.

He let out his breath in a long sigh. As much as he wanted to avoid the conversation, he knew he needed to say something.

Taking a step back from Penelope, Crow let his arms fall back to his sides and forced himself to meet her gaze in spite of his urge to look anywhere else. “But what would be different about the next time?” he asked with a frown, finally showing her the hurt he’d felt since supper. “I know I’ve made some bad decisions in the past. I’ve lied and kept secrets that I should have been more honest about, but I’ve never done anything that I knew would hurt you.” He averted his gaze, unsettled by the feelings that bubbled up inside him even as he spoke about what had been bothering him.

“Even when I was in the wrong, everything I did was to protect you or make you happy,” he went on in a defeated voice. “I know I didn’t get it right all the time in the past, but I would never hurt you on purpose by doing something as stupid as sleeping with someone else. I love you too much to cause you that sort of pain. That’s why…” He bit his lip, taking a moment to reign in his emotions before he went on in a strained tone, “I don’t understand why, after all this time, you still can’t trust me. Even though I’ve messed up, I’ve been trying as hard as I can to prove that I’m a reliable partner. I want you to know that I’m not going to misuse your affection, because you mean everything to me.”

He shook his head, going on in a soft tone, “It just feels like my efforts won’t ever be enough, or that I’m going to have to prove myself to you all over again every time someone whispers in your ear that I’m not being honest. I mean, just look at what happened today. You were ready to break things off between us because of a rumor, even after I explained what had really happened while you were gone.” He looked up again to meet her eyes, “I’m trying my best—I really am—but it’s too hard for me to keep repeating this cycle with you. I can’t keep going about my days with the constant fear that you’re going to drift away every time someone gossips about me. If we’re going to make this work, I need you to start trusting me more… I feel like I’ve earned at least that much.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope glanced at Crow as she waited for him to reply. As he finally stepped back from her, she frowned as he expressed the hurt she had caused him. It made the knight's chest feel tight at the knowledge that she was the one who had caused it. This was exactly what she had been trying to prevent before the rumors had happened. Feeling ashamed for the pain she had caused him, she found it difficult to look over at him as he spoke but she forced herself to. Hearing the strain in his voice made the knight grimaced and she couldn't help but lower her gaze for a moment. After everything he had done for her, she had still hurt him this badly and had fallen for her own worries much too easily.

As he finished, the knight was silent for a brief moment, trying to collect herself before giving a small nod. "You deserve much more than just that." she said softly as she forced herself to look over at him. "I know you wouldn't misuse my affection, Crow... I.. I just messed up and let my own insecurities cloud my better judgment." Penelope shook her head and rubbed her hand over her arm. "It doesn't excuse anything but I want you to know it wasn't so much about my trust in you as it was..well," she shuffled her feet. "my own confidence really. I never thought your heart would stray but at the time, I worried that maybe, the rest of you would get tired of waiting for me. I love you Crow, more than I could put into words and sometimes it's just difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that you love me just as much."

Penelope looked to the floor again. Admitting her insecurity out loud made the knight shrink slightly. She knew that they were ridiculous but at the time they had been nagging at the back of her head. It also likely hadn't helped that the day before both Dimia and Liz had verbally gone after her. While she didn't really care what they thought persay, there was only so much the knight could take before feeling a bit torn down. She took in a breath and forced her gaze back up to meet his. "You don't need to prove anything to me though. You've proven more than enough, done more than enough. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you had to do more. I just need to trust my own worth a bit more. And it won't happen again." she added with a hint of firmness despite her voice being soft. The knight never wanted to see him hurt like that by her again.

"I can't say I won't ever ask you about something if I do hear gossip but I won't let myself buy into words that aren't your own and I won't let my insecurities get the best of me. Things will be different.. I'll learn from my mistakes." she promised him with soft determination. Penelope paused and tentatively reached for his hand, as if unsure he'd accept the gesture at the moment. "You have my word on that."

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow shifted his weight uncomfortably, unsure how he felt about what he’d just shared with Penelope. While he’d decided it was important enough to bring up, he had no idea how to handle conversations like these. Part of him wasn’t even sure if his feelings were valid, because he preferred to discard them in favor of logic whenever his head and heart conflicted. Knowing that the tension between him and the knight had already been resolved, he wondered if he’d just made things worse by telling her that he’d felt hurt after the fact. Unfortunately, it was too late to take it back now that the words had been said though.

When Penelope finally spoke up, the viceroy met her gaze with a frown. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting her to say, but he was surprised to hear that she felt so insecure about their relationship. It sounded like her worries didn’t even stem from anything he’d done before, but rather from a lack of confidence she had in herself. He remained quiet as she continued to explain why she’d believed the rumors about him, taken aback to find out she’d felt this way for so long. In his opinion, she didn’t have anything to be insecure about in the first place. Compared to all the other women he’d met throughout his life, she had so much more to be proud of. It pained him to know that she didn’t see herself the same way he saw her.

As she apologized to him, Crow bit his lip, suddenly wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. If he’d known why she had been so upset, he would have approached the situation completely differently. Now that he had clarity, he didn’t care about making her trust him anymore. Of course, he was still hurt that she doubted his faithfulness to her, but the sting wasn’t as sharp when he understood the reason behind it. If anything, he wanted to find a better solution that would work for both of them instead of accusing each other of being wrong.

“Penelope, I-I had no idea,” Crow shook his head, running a hand through his hair once she finished speaking. “If you hear anything that makes you worried, by all means, come to me with it. I don’t want you to force yourself to ignore your gut if you feel like you need to question me. I just don’t want you to jump to a conclusion before we’ve talked first. That’s all.”

Feeling a burst of affection for the knight, he moved forward to wrap her in a tight embrace. “All that other stuff aside, I don’t know why you feel like you aren’t good enough. You’re an amazing woman, love, and you mean more to me than you could ever know.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and then grinned at her. “No matter what you think of yourself, I think you’re the best knight in all of Brerra, and I’m proud that I get to call you mine. You have every reason to be proud of yourself too, because you make me and so many other people happy, just by being in the same room with us. If you don’t believe me, just look around sometime. You have plenty of people in your life who think you’re just as great as I do.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope shifted easily as he spoke, unsure how to take his first words. As he went on to say that it was ok to go to him with questions so long as she didn't jump to conclusions first, the knight nodded her head in agreement. She was glad that it sounded like Crow was forgiving her for the slight mess and hurt she had caused him. It would have been much worse if he hadn't accepted her words after all. However, she was still caught off guard when he wrapped her up in an embrace. Penelope blinked and looked up at him as he went on to reassure her of her worth.

Hearing him speaking of her so highly, she felt a bit of embarrassment for getting so worked up before. The knight should have known better but it had been difficult at the time to remind herself of such things. Penelope looked up at him and smiled as he touched a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you." she murmured softly as she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. She felt herself relax a bit. She was still mad at herself for hurting him but at least he seemed to realize it wasn't based past lies. The knight didn't want him thinking she was paranoid of history repeating itself when that wasn't the case.

"I'm sorry about this mess I caused." she sighed softly and pulled back slightly to meet his gaze. Penelope gave him a half hearted smile. "I love you, though Crow, and I do trust you. There's nothing you have done in the past that would make me worry about it now." Feeling a fondness for him, she leaned up and pressed an affectionate kiss to his lips. As she pulled back, a gleam sparked in her gaze as she remembered a more light hearted topic that she had been meaning to tell him about.

"Speaking of something to be proud of," Penelope smiled up at him hopefully. "I got letters in yesterday from some of the nobles I wrote. Including those barons. That other lieutenant, Jonathan, actually helped me out a great deal. Practically all the letters were ones of support for a peaceful end to the war. If this party goes as well as I hope, I think we might be able to pull this off still."

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow smiled as Penelope wrapped her arms around him, relieved that she seemed to be feeling better after they talked. All in all, he was glad that they had opened up to each other so honestly. Even though he’d been hesitant at first and he still wasn’t sure if he’d said the right thing to her, their conversation had seemed to lead to a good place in the end. As long as they were closer to each other now than they had been before, he felt like it had been worthwhile to get through the discomfort.

When the knight suddenly pulled back from him to apologize again, he knitted his brows together. It seemed unnecessary to him now that they had moved on, but he didn’t get the chance to say so before she leaned in and kissed him rather affectionately. Deciding it wasn’t worth the effort to disagree with her, he let it go and sank into her lips, enjoying the peaceful moment. Their time alone was far too spread apart lately, so he liked being able to steal this moment in the early morning. After all, it wouldn’t be long before they were forced to keep their distance again.

As she pulled back, Crow had to keep himself from chasing after another kiss, desirous of her intimate touch after going so long without it. Her hopeful look got his attention though, and he paused to listen to her say that she had made some progress in her mission to end the war. The news was exciting to hear, and he felt a little more optimistic that she would be able to gain enough support before his father sent him to Gorm. As long as the party went well, they would be right on track to settling everything in their favor.

“That’s great,” he grinned at her earnestly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from her face. “It seems like Toreus picked the right person to give this task when he chose you.” Suddenly, another thought crossed his mind and his eagerness grew. “I’ve also had a bit of success on my end while you were gone. I convinced two of the noblemen I’ve been speaking with lately to come to the party, and I told them to bring their families as well.”

Feeling good after all the progress they had both made, Crow leaned in to kiss Penelope again, meeting her lips passionately and tracing his hands down her back. After a bit, he pulled away just enough to press a few gentler kisses to her jawline. “I’ve got some more good news to share too,” he murmured against her skin. “My father decided to let me have today off from my lessons… Maybe we could get away for a while; take a day to ourselves without thinking about any other responsibilities. What do you think?”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope smiled as he grinned at her. "I hope so." she mused as he said Toreus picked the right person. With everything that appeared to be riding on the end of the war, she couldn't help but hope the god knew what he had been doing by entrusting her to end it. As Crow went on to say that he had had some success of his own, her smile widened. "That's great!" she mused happily. Knowing that two nobles were already signed on for the party made the knight's hope soar a bit more. If Crow had already managed to convince two, then there was a good chance he could easily increase that number.

As he leaned in to kiss her, she eagerly met his lips with equal passion, her spirits lifted greatly after settling their issues as well as talking about the progress they were both making to end the war. She closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly as he began to press kisses to her jawline. Her heart began to race, excited by his touch after having keeping a distance for so long. Penelope cracked open her eyes slightly at his next words, raising an eyebrow as he said he had more good news. As he explained that his father had given him the day off, she blinked in mild surprise. Going day after day of lessons, she almost didn't think he was going to going to get a break until he had finished his studies. She was glad to know she had been wrong.

A smirk crossed her lips at his words, more than a little tempted by the offer. After all that had been going on, taking a day off with him sounded quite appealing to the knight. Plus it wasn't like she had any major plans that day, so surely it wouldn't hurt, right? "I'd like that... I don't have a guard shift today either.. I don't see why we shouldn't as long as we're careful.." she moved to capture his lips in another kiss, lingering for a moment as she slipped her arms up to wrap loosely around his neck. She pulled back a from him and let out a soft sigh as she recalled there was one responsibility that would likely need some attention that day. "Although I might need to stop by and speak with the Lenzs at some point... We decided to host this party by the end of the week."

Penelope casted him a smile and leaned in to press a few kisses up along his neck. "It's fine though.. I can visit them before supper. I'm sure there isn't much to do yet." she murmured.

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow smiled, pressing a few more kisses to Penelope’s neck when she said she didn’t have any guard shifts that day. It seemed all too perfect to the viceroy. After being forced to sneak around the other nobles in the castle for so long, he couldn’t wait to take a whole day to be with her without interruption. As long as they stayed away from anyone who might try to take up their attention, he had high hopes that they would be able to get away with spending so much time together. His heart fluttered eagerly in his chest as he expected that this day was going to be quite a bit more enjoyable compared to the last two weeks.

He met Penelope’s lips with rivaling passion when she kissed him again, resting his hands on her hips to pull her close to himself. As he did, he felt her arms slip around his neck, and he shivered, finding her touch especially electrifying after going so long without it. He was quick to press more kisses to her cheek and jaw when she pulled back to tell him that she still had to meet with the Lenz’s at some point that day. “Let them wait,” he murmured breathily, nipping at her ear. “I’m sure they’ll be fine without you for a little while…”

Feeling playful, Crow tugged the knight over to the bed and pushed her down onto it, meeting her lips in another kiss as he did so. Breakfast had already started, so he knew they didn’t have time to get away with anything more than they were doing now—at least, not without skipping a meal—but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have a little fun with her. Who knew when they would get another chance like this, after all? He was going to take advantage of the privacy while it lasted.

Shifting to hover over her, the viceroy worked his way from Penelope’s mouth down to the base of her neck, where he pulled back just enough that his lips brushed against her skin. “So, where do you think we should go to get away from everyone?” he asked softly, a smile playing on the corner of his mouth as he teased her. His right hand trailed sensually down the length of her side while he spoke, only to stop at her waist as he looked up to meet her gaze. “I’m sure we’ll just be bothered if we stay in the castle… It might be easier just to sneak out and meet up someplace where no one will find us. Is there any spot you know of where we could get away?”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope shivered at the feeling of his warm breath on her ear. She was about to respond when he suddenly tugged her over to the bed. The knight smiled, amused by the playful gesture, and closed her eyes as she kissed him back. Feeling gleeful at the thought of spending the day with him, her concern about getting anywhere fast was momentarily put on hold. After all, it was still early enough for them to catch breakfast. They could spare a bit more time alone before they headed out.

She bit her lip lightly as Crow teased her and rolled her eyes as she looked over at him. "Well I might have a couple ideas." she mused thoughtfully. It likely wasn't a far off guess to assume alone time at the castle would be damn near impossible. Not only would they have a bigger risk of being discovered there but chances were someone might try to join either of them for the day. Namely Naida or even Elizabeth. While the knight had gotten over her insecurity about the other woman's tricks, that certainly didn't mean she was any more eager to spend time with her.

Plans aside, she didn't plan to take his teasing one sidedly. A devious smirk crossed her lips and she began trailed her leg up against his. "There's a river not far from the castle that we can meet at. If you follow the water, upstream there's a clearing we can meet up at." she explained, moving to trace her fingertips over the side of his face. Penelope's gaze drifted to his lips but instead of moving in to meet him for a kiss, her gaze shifted back up to meet his with a playful gleam in her gaze.

"Of course, I can just walk out the front gates and claim I'm going to my home but you'll have to figure a less obvious way out. Provided you haven't gotten too soft being a viceroy and all." she teased, giving his cheek a poke. "If you need help with sneaking around, I'm sure I could give you a refresher course. I had a fairly decent teacher, after all."

[Rogue Sloth]

“Oh?” Crow smirked when Penelope said she might have a few ideas about where they could go to get away for a while. He leaned down to press a few more kisses to her collar, enjoying the privacy they had in her bedchamber. For a moment, he wondered if they would be able to just come back here after breakfast. It seemed like a secluded enough space, after all. However, the idea didn’t seem quite as thorough as he remembered that the Lenz’s would be wanting to speak with the knight at some point during the day. It would be a bit more than uncomfortable if the nobles stumbled upon them together during their search for her. He sighed. The smarter choice was probably still to get out of the castle altogether.

As Penelope began to trail her leg against his, Crow met her gaze again with a grin, his heart beating quicker in his chest at her sultry touch. Even though he knew they didn’t have time to be more intimate before breakfast, he was starting to seriously consider skipping the meal to be with her instead. If he hadn’t gotten another poor night of sleep, he might have done it. But, unfortunately, he needed to get his energy from somewhere, and outside of getting enough rest, food was the next best option.

When the knight went on to explain where they could meet, the viceroy nodded, picturing the directions in his head to better remember where he needed to go. He leaned his cheek against her hand and smiled as he noticed her eyes drift down to his lips. However, instead of moving in to kiss him, she went on to tease him about getting soft since he’d become viceroy. He rolled his eyes at her mocking words. “I’m sure I can handle it on my own,” he said dryly, though the amused smile didn’t leave his features.

In the next moment, a mischievous look crossed Crow’s face, and he rolled off Penelope to lay by her on his side. He slipped his arms around her middle to pull her close, touching a playful kiss to her nose as he did. “But, if you think you’re so good at it, why don’t you refresh me anyway?” he winked at her teasingly. “Who knows? Maybe I need the help, since you think I’ve gotten so soft.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope gave a small laugh at his reaction to her words and gave her shoulders a shrug. As he rolled off of her, she turned over to face him, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. The knight chuckled as he pressed a playful kiss to her nose. "Well, if I must." she said, giving an exaggerated sigh. "For one, you're definitely going to have to wear something that doesn't scream viceroy." Penelope teased toying with the collar of his tunic. She smirked and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "And sneak around a few guards... And try not to bump into anything on the way as well."

The knight gave him a playful wink and then shifted to settle in more comfortably against him. "Joking aside, I can probably distract the guards at the front gates for a bit when I leave if it'll help at all." she offered more seriously. Penelope nestled her head against him and gave a peaceful sigh. She was enjoying the time they had together and thrilled to know that it wouldn't be as short as usual. After getting rather used to sneaking small moments rather than whole days, it felt like a miracle that they'd get practically a whole day together.

As she laid besides him, an idea sparked in her mind that made a fresh wave of excitement light up her gaze. "If you wear a cloak to hide your face, we could even go to Bellmare today." she told him with a smile. "It's not far from where we'll be meeting anyways. I could finally show you around there." The knight had been wanting to show him around her home town for quite some time now and couldn't help but jump at the chance as it appeared. They'd of course have to be careful to keep his identity hidden from the nobles that lived there, but she still thought the trip would be well worth it.

The knight casted a brief glance towards the window. While she was more than content spending the morning with him, she knew that it was probably time to get moving if they wanted to grab breakfast before leaving the castle for the day. With that in mind, she pulled back from him slightly and gave a small smile. "Regardless of later plans though, we should probably head to breakfast if we don't want to miss it." she mused.

[Rogue Sloth]

Shifting to lay more comfortably on the bed, Crow propped one arm underneath his head while Penelope told him her ideas about how he could get out of the castle without drawing attention to himself. As she started by telling him to change clothes, he blinked and looked down at himself. Though he would never admit it out loud, perhaps he had gotten a little soft since he’d taken the title as viceroy, because he hadn’t even realized that the tunic he was wearing now would make him stand out. Careless. In the outer villages, he had always been conscious of his appearance—not in a vain way, but rather because he’d needed to blend in with the other peasants whenever knights were around. It disturbed him to know that his old habits were already beginning to fade as he grew more accustomed to the security of living in the palace.

As Penelope went on to tease him about not bumping into anything, Crow rolled his eyes at her in an exaggerated fashion. Even if he had gotten a bit more relaxed about minding his appearance lately, his physical tendencies would take much longer to break down. He felt quite certain that he could leave without alerting the guards. Besides that, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to just lie and tell them that he wanted to get some fresh air. His father had given him a rather loose tether by forbidding him from leaving the inner kingdom, after all. Though he couldn’t return to the outer villages, there were plenty of places he could go outside the palace walls that would keep him busy.

“I don’t think you’ll need to do that,” he said with an amused smirk when Penelope offered to distract the guards for him. “I may not be allowed to go home, but I have free reign of the cities around the castle. As long as we aren’t seen leaving together, I’m sure there won’t be any issue.”

In the next moment the knight’s eyes lit up, and Crow raised a brow, curious to find out what had gotten her so excited. As she brought up the idea of bringing him to her hometown, he returned her smile eagerly. He hadn’t been overly interested in most places in the inner kingdom since noble culture was a bore, but he did want to see the part of it where she had grown up. It was something he hadn’t thought they would be able to do before, but now that he was a noble too, there was nothing stopping them from going together.

“Well, it’s about time you invited me back to your place,” he joked, trailing his hand from her shoulders down to the small of her back and casting her a fond grin. “I’d love to go to Bellmare with you.”

As she pointed out that they needed to head to the Great Hall so they wouldn’t miss breakfast, the viceroy nodded. “On the bright side, maybe we waited long enough that Liz got tired of waiting for me and left,” he mused, sitting up and giving a small shudder. “I just hope she goes back to Colchester soon. If I don’t see her face again as long as I live, I’ll be happy.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope rolled her eyes at his joke but beamed as he agreed to going with her to Bellmare. While it wasn't much different than any other inner kingdom, the familiarity of it made it particularly special to her. Having lived there practically her whole life, she had plenty of memories, both good and bad, there. Plus, there were certain parts that did make it unique in some ways. She even debated stopping by her actual home with him. She wanted to show him as much as she could so it was certainly on the list. It'd just be a bit more difficult since it was likely that her aunt or cousin would be home. Perhaps they could just swing by the outside of it at the very least.

She stretched and moved to sit up as well as he agreed with her about going to breakfast. At his words, she gave a nod of agreement. "Hopefully... Although I can't say I'd put it past her to still be waiting there." she said with a shake of her head. Though her worries about Liz had gone with their talk, Penelope still found the noblewoman to be unwanted company. "I look forward to the day she does leave too...Although, I must admit, I wouldn't mind seeing her face when we start courting." The knight looked over at Crow and smirked. "Not that you're some prize to be won, but after all she's said to me about my scar and the taunting she's done, it'll certainly be excellent payback."

While usually about acting with such pettiness, Penelope couldn't help it, especially since she was temporarily silenced from telling the woman the truth about her relationship with Crow. Her past concerns aside, Liz had been trying to get under her skin since their first meeting. It may have worked to some extent then but now feeling more confident than before about their relationship, Penelope was only left with the singular feeling of annoyance towards the other noblewoman for all that she had tried to pull. Seeing her react to the female knight with the 'hideous' streak on her face end up with the viceroy would surely be at least a little entertaining.

Penelope shrugged her shoulders and stood up to her feet, stretching out her back for a moment. Since she wasn't planning on having any guard shifts, the knight didn't bother to put on her armor, settling for just wearing her loose fitting shirt and pants. Today would likely be the first proper break she had since , well, she couldn't really remember. It seemed like between the war, Jaxon, and trying to end the war, that she had been going nonstop. Sure there were small moments of peace that she had found during all of those but it was the first time she was taking most the day to actually relax without any set plans to accomplish before it's end. While excited for it and to spend time with Crow, she nearly felt a bit guilty, especially with how little time they had to convince the king.

Deciding not to focus on that now though, she moved to step over to her door, opening it slightly to peak out into the hallway. Since it was the knight's quarters, they didn't have the regular guards station outside but she wanted to make sure the halls were clear before stepping out of the room with him. Luckily it seemed most knights must have already left to get breakfast or to their guard post, leaving the corridor empty. "Well at least this area's quiet enough right now." she mused as she opened the door more fully to step out of the room so they could begin their walk to the Great Hall.